


The Butterfly Effect

by Allie_enigma



Series: The Statistical Probability of Love [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: American Sign Language, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood Donation, Brain Surgery, Counselling, Epic Friendship, F/M, Family is everything, Fluff, Growing Up, Honesty, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Living life to the fullest, M/M, Malec AU, Malec Human AU, Medical Procedures, Medication, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Cancer, New found love, Protective Siblings, Raw honesty, Recovery, Sad moments, Sad with a Happy Ending, Second Chances, Seizure awareness, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Some use of swearing, Soulmates, Teen Romance, Unknown battles, childhood illness, finding one another, good doggos, grown up conversation, hospital stays, medical research, mentions of teenage pregnancy, silver linings, soft boyfriends, staying strong, therapy dogs, tight knit family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2020-05-13 12:24:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 37
Words: 277,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19251151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allie_enigma/pseuds/Allie_enigma
Summary: Alec Lightwood has been introduced to every person's worst nightmare. Laying in his hospital bed, he hopes that all of this is just a horrific dream that he could simply wake up from. He doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to sleep, and is slipping further and further away from the person that he used to be.Little does he know is the existence of another young man who frequents his hospital wing. A young man who went through the same ordeal nearly two years ago. All they need is a bit of luck to bring them together. Luck that neither of them have had up until now."And what's the first rule of being mundane?" - JC





	1. Cocoon

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to 'The Butterfly effect' <3 I'll be honest with you now, simply because that is what this fic is. This fic deals with the very emotional side of living and knowing someone who is going through childhood illness. It won’t all be depressing, I promise, and I will tell you that it has a happy ending. Just be prepared because it's going to be hard hitting so read at your own risk. I chose to write this not only as an inspiration from my favourite book and movie, but as I have been through this in some way myself, it can be used as a vessel to educate others on a little of what sick kids have to go through and hopefully provide honest comfort for anyone going through it themselves. Every little quirk or quip that is used in this can be explained, so don't be afraid to ask any questions. I understand that these topics, while important, need to be addressed carefully. Every event that you will read is something that I have experienced or have had done to myself. Every phrase used by a nurse or doctor is something that I have been told myself.
> 
> I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read. If you want to message at any time, my twitter handle is the same as on here or the hashtag is #Flutterfic.
> 
> "The butterfly counts not months but moments and has time enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to watch the trailer for this fic, click[ here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISZXEcc1a3A&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=2&t=71s)
> 
> I've added a song for each chapter of this fic, but it's up to you to decide if you listen along. Each one has been specifically chosen to go with its chapter so I hope you enjoy the addition if you do <3
> 
> Song for chapter 1:[ "Bad Blood."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed1vXMxuxnM&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=2&t=0s)

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

There’s nothing glorious about illness.

Hollywood movies often tell beautiful stories where heroic teens battle horrific diseases. Long and treacherous battles where everyone learns beautiful lessons about love and what it means to truly be alive. What they don’t know about is the small, everyday battles. Being able to keep a meal down or having enough energy to go outside, just to sit on the battered old swing sets that are famous in the legends of children's hospitals for being aggressively unused.

Today’s battle for Alec involved the dreaded ‘Nasogastric’ tube. The nurses had told him that as long as he wasn’t sick after eating, he would be able to go without having the tube in for a while. He hadn’t even started treatment yet and was already struggling with his food. Having the tube in wasn’t the problem. It was the feeling of it going from the back of his nose and down his throat. That and the feeling as if his own body had failed him yet again. Which it had.

“Alec, I’m sorry but you have to have it back in.”

Alec crossed his arms and looked between his mother and one of his nurses. Children’s nurses always have an aura of everlasting happiness about them. Like what they see on a daily basis doesn’t keep them up with worry when their never ending shift patterns don’t. Alec felt sorry for her. But not as sorry as he did for himself.

A single tear ran down Alec’s face and he wiped it before it had a chance to fall. “I don’t want it.”

Maryse sat down and as she ran her hand over her son’s head, he turned away from her touch. His first chemo session was tomorrow, and he didn’t want to see the pity in his mother’s face. Her sleepless eyes and exasperation when she realised that she would probably be running her hands over her son’s dark and thick hair for the last time. For a little while, anyway. He hoped it would just be for a little while.

The nurse walked to the corner of the room and brought back a kidney dish with various things that Alec had no name for. He turned his head and spoke with his eyes closed. “Get it away from me.”

The nurse sighed. Working on a teen ward often meant dealing with unwilling patients, but she couldn’t blame them. Adults could be reasoned with. Young children could have procedures done without fully understanding. Teens were fully aware of what they were facing, and nothing got past them. Poor lost souls who had to pause dreams, friendships, careers, all because of a failure in the horrific lottery of biology.

The nurse brought the tray closer. She was well experienced with working with teens like Alec and knew that a stern word and five minutes of anger on their behalf would result in getting a procedure over with.

“Alec, listen to me, you are seventeen, not seven. This will take two minutes and then you can get on with your day. You will have to have the NG tube whether you like it or not, so you have a choice. Have it now and get it over with or resist and delay, just to have it later.”

Maryse nodded and looked to Alec who tilted his head back with barely contained tears. Her heart had broken every day since Alec’s diagnosis. The numb and hollowed out look in his eyes when he had refused to believe what the doctor was telling him, the explanation to his bruising, nausea and weight loss, and the crying that followed when he had slid down the corridor wall on the way out. The sound of screams when she had come home without Alec. When herself and her husband had needed to sit down his three siblings and explain why Alec was staying in hospital.

The words echoed in her ears.

_“It’s called ‘Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia’. It’s an aggressive blood cancer that affects your white blood cells. Normally, bone marrow doesn’t release stem cells into the blood until they are fully developed. In your case, Alec, large numbers of white blood cells are being released before they are ready. These are called blast cells. As the number of blast cells increases, the number of red blood cells and platelets decrease. If you look at this diagram…”_

Maryse snapped back to the present, shaking her head as Alec gripped her hand tightly. He tilted his head back as the nurse guided the tube into his nose and told him to swallow. After a moment, he grimaced and the tube finally went down. NG tubes always feel like they are choking you, just until the tube gets past your throat.

His shoulders relaxed slightly as the nurse taped down the tube to the side of his face.

“There. How’s that?”

Alec fiddled with the tube as it was tucked behind his ear. “I don’t like it.”

The nurse softened slightly. “I know you don’t, sweetheart. It doesn’t have to be your friend but think of it as an acquaintance. You don’t have to like each other but it’s in your best interest if you put up with one another while you’re here.” Maryse thanked the nurse, and she gathered up her things and left.

With a sigh, Maryse turned to look at her reflection in the glass window. It was already getting dark outside, reflecting the sombre mood of the room. The room that Alec was in housed five other children, but they had all gone to sleep for the night. Alec was by far the oldest and would be moved to the teenage cancer ward tomorrow to start his treatment. Alec lay down against the pillows. The hospital pillows felt too firm and never seemed to be flat enough, no matter how much he adjusted them. Maryse ran her hand through her hair, listening to the various beeping and alarms from the hospital equipment in the room. She barely recognised the haggard reflection that was staring back at her. She hadn’t even thought about having a shower in the last three days and her back and shoulders ached from sleeping in the uncomfortable chair that was next to Alec’s bed.

“Mom?”

She turned suddenly and spoke quietly. “What’s the matter? Are you in pain, sweetie?”

Alec shook his head. The nurse had been by earlier and had given him some painkillers. They didn’t take his pain away as much as numb it to a dull ache that he felt down to his bones. “You know you can take a break, Mom. I’m so tired. Why don’t you go home for a bit and sort things out?" He yawned, glancing down to the cannula in his hand. Maryse watched as his eyes followed the line of the drip that he was connected to. "It’s hardly like I’m going anywhere.”

Maryse sighed before finally giving in. Alec had practically been begging her earlier to go home. There were things that he needed, and she also needed to be there for his brothers and sister. The teenage cancer ward, unlike the children's, would have set visiting times, so she wouldn’t be able to stay with him constantly after tomorrow, anyway.

She nodded, reluctantly, and grabbed her bag from the end of the bed. She would tell one of the nurses on the way out to keep an eye on him, but she doubted that she would be gone for even an hour. Alec was right though, she needed to go home and get things sorted out.

She leaned forward to kiss him, barely holding herself together. She knew that she would break the second that she left the room, but she had to be strong for Alec’s sake when she was with him. Only the light above the bed was on and as she moved closer to him, it cast shadows across his pale face. The curtains had been drawn closed around the bed so just in case he needed anything, she placed the call button in her son's hand.

“Try and get some sleep, okay?”

Alec nodded slightly, as he turned away and closed his heavy eyes.

***

“Quick! Take this left and go through the tunnel!”

Victor rolled his eyes from the passenger seat. Jonathan was driving and took a sharp turn in the road, jostling him slightly from where he was sat with his arms crossed.

Magnus shouted again excitedly as he climbed over the back seat and nearly flattened Raj who was next to him. He undid the clip that was on the hatch in the roof and speaking for the first time all evening, Raj moved over to sit with his head against the window. “He’s fucking crazy.”

Magnus ignored them and shouted for Jonathan to turn the music up.

The music echoed through the air, as they reached the opening of the long tunnel. Cars on the other side beeped their horns, as Magnus stood up and grinned. The wind whipped his face back and all that could be seen for miles around was the bright, flashing lights as they passed in electric beams. The tunnel resonated with the sound of Magnus' hollering as he held his arms out, feeling the cold snap as he closed his eyes and took in the noise of the blaring music. The air was arid. Mixed with the smell of tires and the pizza boxes that were on the back seat. The scent of freedom and second chances.

Twelve beautiful months of remission.

He slid back down into his seat, grinning like a maniac as he tried to brush his hair flat. All his friends thought he was mad. It was typical of others, who had never been through what he had, to think he was crazy or throwing his life away. What those who took their health for granted for never realised is that he planned to live everyday doing exactly the opposite. Living each moment to his absolute best ability, not only for himself, but for all the kids along the way, who had gone through the same journey or would go through it and not be as lucky as he had. For all the parents who he heard crying and the kids who had never got to ring the remission bell on their way home.

It is only when you have been so close to dying that you can truly open your eyes and start living.

Raj shook his head as Magnus sat down and got his breath back. Magnus didn’t need to ask him why. He’d heard it a million times before. No one he knew had any idea about the beauty and wonder of what life was. How a scrunched up leaf sounded different each week of fall or how dust danced on the air in the hallway when the sun was in exactly the right spot.

Victor spoke up from the front seat. “Remind me why we’re going to a house party on a Thursday again?”

Magnus  stuck his head between the front seats and interrupted before Jonathan could answer. “Shit! I thought today was Wednesday!”

“Why would we be going to a house party on a Wednesday?” Raj lifted his head from against the window, as Victor turned and replied.

Magnus repeatedly hit Jonathan’s shoulder. “That’s beside the point! You have to drop me off at the hospital!”

Jonathan groaned as he indicated to take the different turning. “Magnus, you’re better now. You don’t have to keep going back. You need to stop living in the past and move on from it.”

Magnus slumped back in his seat and groaned. There was never such a thing as moving on from what he had been through. It got easier and he had made his peace with it, but that wasn’t why he went. His friends just didn’t understand. Every Thursday, the hospital ran drop in counselling groups for any young people who had been through or were currently going through a battle with cancer. The few friends that he had made at these sessions were the only people who had any idea what he had and was still currently going through. How could he explain to any of the guys why he was so good at card games? Or how the tiniest headache still sent him into panic attacks even now?

Jonathan took a final turn and the hospital came into sight. Magnus tapped his shoulder before they could reach the car park. “You know the drill, Jonathan.”

Jonathan pulled over and Magnus grabbed his bag from the backseat. He jumped out and waved as the car moved again to go back to the way it had come from. Magnus never let anyone drive him to the door. He liked to see himself walking in as a strange act of defiance. The first time he had been diagnosed, his father had run in the door with him draped in his arms. Magnus had been half delirious and in the middle of a seizure, convulsing as his dad had shouted for help and struggled to hold onto him. Magnus had made a promise to himself that day that every time he went back into that hospital, it would be on his own two legs.

Magnus reached the hospital foyer and pulled out some money from his wallet. The foyer had a small shop where you could buy just about anything. He waved to the cashier as he walked to the back of the shop. She had probably seen him at his worst, when his cancer was affecting his personality and he had snuck out in an act of unforgivable rebellion to buy Oreos. The nurses had come looking for him and had taken him back. He hadn’t been able to keep food down anyway but had just wanted to do one tiny thing for himself.

He had collapsed in exhaustion before they had even gotten back to the ward.

Magnus combed through the bottom shelf and checked the time on his phone. He had about thirty minutes before the support group began. He chose three different packs of chocolate biscuits that definitely didn’t contain Oreos. He hated the sight of them and hadn’t eaten them since that awful day.

One thing that any young person in hospital will learn is that chocolate biscuits are a rarity. Unless someone has either visited with a ‘my child is cured so I’ll pay you in mediocre biscuits' thank you or ‘you couldn’t save my child but have them as a thank you anyway’ biscuits, then kids on the ward can never wish for more than a plain digestive. Not so fun when everything makes you sick anyway, and your taste buds don’t work properly because of chemo. The least someone could do is pass around a decent selection. Magnus made sure that he got to every meeting first; so that he could lay out biscuits the poor kids might actually want, without anyone finding out that it was him who had brought them.

He made polite small talk with the cashier, before paying. He hoped he wasn’t coming across as rude in wanting to get going, but every second counted to him. When he had been going to private counselling, the counsellor had told him to slow down or he would never take anything in, which was kind of ironic. Many arguments with his father had been over him taking his time in shops and deciding what to buy. As far as Magnus was concerned, washing powder all did the same thing, so why waste five minutes when you could just chuck one in the trolley and be done with it?

He peeked through the door of the tiny, circular room. The room backed onto both the teenage cancer ward and the children’s ward so there was usually a small mix of individuals. He unwrapped the various chocolate bars and biscuits, placing them on the tray that was on the table. He grabbed the jug from one of the cupboards and filled it from the tap in the little makeshift kitchen. He had his own drink in his bag because he hated the taste of hospital water.

The clock ticked on the wall. The other kids would be arriving any second. There were a few chairs dotted around the room in a circle and Magnus paced with his eyes on the door. The company didn’t tend to rotate a lot, but he counted on his hands the number of friends he had lost over the last two years. Too many. The clock struck seven as the first few faces appeared at the door and he sat down, just hoping to himself that things would improve soon. Maybe he would be lucky and today would be different? Maybe he would find someone closer to his own age to talk to for a change? He twiddled his thumbs as the door finally opened and he pondered the possibility. He hated that anyone had to go through what he had but at least if someone his age was going through it then he’d at least have someone to talk to about it.

As the door closed with the last of the five young patients, Magnus shut the idea down.

He’d never had the best luck, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read <3 I thought I’d use the end notes of each chapter to explain a few little things that I couldn't include.
> 
> The first was obviously the NG tube. Kudos to anyone who has had to have one of these horrible things. You can rave in the comments if you have, because they are awful. It wasn't right for the story, so Alec was braver than I was, I cried and absolutely screamed the place down when I was told that I had to have it back in.  
> Magnus is good at card games as I took it from my own experience of all the kids being gathered to play 'UNO' in the games room. It got the kids out of bed and there was usually 15 of us sat around a large table, as if at a poker game. It's actually one of my favourite memories.
> 
> The final thing is Magnus' explanation of the hospital water. It doesn't take much explaining, but I haven't drunk plain water since I was eight. Hospital tap water literally put me off for life.
> 
>  
> 
> FF Author Notes:[ Chapter 1](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HAOzUhq-IIjK_dSZyDQpkGG-NadLHbFXiFhm0HkeEqU/edit?usp=sharing)


	2. The Light Around You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Alec goes to sleep, Magnus is waking up. They have different fights on their hands but both need someone else who understands what they're going through.
> 
> "All good things are wild and free."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 2:[ "Days Gone Quiet."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLLDeGoxdTw&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=37&t=0s)

Alec squinted as the hazy morning light began to appear outside his window. It remained to be seen that the world would just keep moving along, oblivious to who he was. The world didn’t stop for you; it kept going and turning.

_Sick kids are a speck of passing time in a vast, vast universe._

Alec had always been one for depressing poetry.

_He_ opened his eyes properly for the first time, as a nurse wrapped a blood pressure cuff around his arm. They had been doing it at intervals through the night, so he hadn’t had a good quality of sleep. His whole, current existence was a nightmare anyway.

She spoke in a soft, low voice. “It’s nearly done. I’m going to open the curtains, once you have woken up properly, okay? We’ll be moving you to the other ward after your surgery.” Alec nodded. He was being taken in for a port or ‘Port-a-cath’ to be fitted. It was basically a round port for medication or injections. A raised circle on his chest that could be numbed, saving him the discomfort of having multiple needles in his arms or hands. They also lasted longer and meant that he could have chemo at home if he was well enough. The blood pressure cuff beeped. Surely this damn thing squeezing his arm could not get any tighter. His arm pounded in time with his pulse and his fingers started to tingle. Finally, the bastard thing released. The nurse put the temperature probe into his ear and it clicked once. He felt like Frankenstein’s monster. If Frankenstein’s monster had been drowning in his own white blood cells.

The nurse gathered up her things and Alec watched dubiously as she pulled back the curtains.

The first thing he noticed was that they were all younger than him.

Each of the kids were young enough to warrant having a parent with them. There were a few adults in the room. Two sleeping next to their kids and the rest in chairs, sipping coffee that didn’t smell like coffee. One of the nurses had told his mom yesterday that the canteen coffee was much better.

Alec glanced around the room. Everyone had kind of kept to themselves so far but he took a guess at why some of them were there. One small boy had a leg in a cast. It had various pins through it and was being held up in the air, so Alec presumed he had broken it at some point. There was an older girl, probably around thirteen. She was attempting to brush her hair from the bandage that was wrapped around her eye. The girl in the bed next to her had a complicated brace in an arc over her head, holding her neck straight with medieval looking pins that went into her skull. It connected to a panel that went over her chest.

Alec looked over to the door as Maryse walked in. She had a holdall in her hands and her mouth moved slightly with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Once she had set it down on the bed, Alec looked over the contents of the bag. A few pairs of pyjamas, some drinks and different snacks. He pretended that he didn’t see his old teddy at the bottom. “What is it?” He looked through the bag again.

“No, not in there. You’ll have to come with me. Are you okay to walk?”

Alec nodded but his legs felt shaky as he stood. The cannula in his arm tugged slightly. He had forgotten that he had a drip attached to it. He moved his bag over with his free hand and pulled the drip stand with him. Maryse told him that it was good for him to get out for a bit of a breather but he suspected it was more likely that she didn’t want him sitting under his ‘Nil by mouth’ sign while all the other kids got to eat breakfast.

“It’s just down the corridor.”

Alec walked ahead and Maryse followed cautiously. Alec knew she didn't want to be over protective of him but noticed her reaching out subconsciously every time he looked like he was struggling. He knew she was just being a worried mother but at the same time didn't like her fawning over him.

The corridor was probably only ten metres long but felt like it went on for miles. Three days of being in bed must have taken its toll on him. He got half way down the corridor before he had to stop and catch his breath. Maryse offered to get a wheelchair but Alec insisted that he walk. This was actually very likely to be the fittest he would be for a while and something felt defeatist in using a wheelchair already.

As Maryse directed him, he slowly made his way to the door of the family room. He glanced through the glass in the door and unable to stop himself, tears ran down his face at the sight of his three siblings. Along with their father, they were all huddled together on the couch and whispering quietly. Max's cheeks were blotchy and he hung his head as Izzy held onto him with shaky hands. Meanwhile, Jace was staring vacantly across the room. He had his head in his hands and his knee was bouncing erratically as Robert tried in vain to get a response from him.

Alec pushed the door handle, half wondering why they had wanted to come. It would only add to the suffering that he was causing.

“Hey, guys.”

Robert walked to the door and after hugging Alec gently, he took Maryse’s hand. They had to sign some consent forms for Alec’s surgery, so they needed to go outside for a minute. The door shut with a bump and the four of them were left alone. Izzy rushed to pull a chair from the corner so Alec could sit on the couch instead of her. She remembered Alec’s last day at home, when he had struggled to get up from the couch. He had been hiding how much pain he was in and getting up from the couch had been the final straw. He had blacked out cold and once Robert and Jace had got him into the car, Maryse had raced with him to the hospital, leaving Robert with the kids.

“Does it hurt?”

Max was sat by Alec's side, in the large chair, and rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. His head dug in where strong muscle used to be. Alec looked to Jace and replied. “No, it doesn’t hurt-” He was lying. “-Max, why don’t you sit with Izzy a minute?”

Izzy took the cue and tapped the couch next to her. They had thought of a million questions on the way down and Robert had told them that it was okay to ask a few if Alec was willing to answer them but they found themselves sitting in silence. How on earth could they ask him anything? The others couldn’t even imagine what was going through Alec’s head.

Izzy licked her lips. “Mom said that they’re putting something in your chest?”

Alec nodded. “Yes, it’s called a port. It’s an easier way of giving me medication so I don’t have to keep having injections.”

Max nestled into Izzy’s side. “Will they make you sleepy to put it in?”

Alec nodded. “Yeah. They’ll take me down in a little while. They said it won't take long.”

They all sat in silence for a minute. Izzy reminded Max that he had drawn a card for Alec. She pulled it from her bag and Max rushed over to give it to him, pointing to the card. “This is Jace, and Mom, and Dad, and Izzy, and me, and this is you. You’re really happy because the doctor made your blood all better again.”

Alec took the card gratefully. "That’s great, Max, thank you.” He winced slightly as Max hugged him, meeting eyes with Jace. Max went to sit on Jace’s knee and he twiddled with the cuff on his sleeve.

Max spoke quietly. “My blood works. You can have some of mine if you want.”

Alec looked up with a sad smile. “It doesn’t really work like-“

The door opened and the four of them looked up as their parents came back in. There were two nurses with them. Robert moved to hug his son again but seeing the drained look on his pale face, thought better of it. He placed his hand on Alec’s head and looked at the other children. “They’re ready to take you down to surgery.”

Alec nodded. Maryse opened the door wider. There was a wheelchair outside the door and Alec shook his head. Maryse spoke before he could say anything.

“It’s just to take you down to surgery. It’s a long way away, Alec. There’s nothing wrong with having a little help sometimes.” Alec stood slowly and kissed the head of each sibling in turn. Jace would never usually allow such declarations of love but found it comforting at that moment in time. “I’ll see you when I wake up, okay?” Max burst into tears and Robert rushed to pick him up. Izzy and Jace silently took each other’s hands. Robert put his remaining arm around Alec’s shoulder and kissed the top of his head. Only one parent was allowed to walk down, so Robert was going to stay with the kids.

“My brave boy. We’ll see you later, okay?” Alec nodded as he sat down in the chair; still feeling like he had failed someone for not walking. He waved through the glass as Robert gathered the kids in his arms, feeling glad that they would all be there for one another.

About ten minutes later, Alec gripped Maryse’s hand as he lay on the flat bed. The surgeon had said that this room was not the room he would be operated on. It was just the room where he would be put under anaesthetic. He stared up at the ceiling panel as he felt a syringe being attached to the cannula in his hand. It was white and bigger than he had expected. Maryse told him to relax as the white chemical was pressed down. All he knew until he was dragged under was the anaesthetist’s voice.

“Imagine you’re on holiday. Where’s your favourite place to be...?”

Alec muttered. The bright lights swirled together before finally being reduced to nothing.

“My family…”

***

Magnus’ phone buzzed to signal eight o’clock and he leapt from his bed. As he threw back the curtain, he shouted from the open window with a grin. 

“Good morning, world!”

The spring flowers had appeared overnight, in all their grandeur. The frost and gloom of winter melting away to new life and hopeful beginnings. Winter was beautiful in its own way, like everything else, but nothing beat the sight of the emerging sun as the world woke up from its deep sleep. Two birds flew across the sky and twisted together as they raced into the trees and Magnus stood with his eyes closed, taking in the feeling of the warm sun on his face. He’d been told by his physics teacher that it took sunlight around eight minutes to be able to be felt by the human hand. All the way from the distant milky way. He set the timer on his phone and quickly changed into the clothes that were out. He leapt into the bathroom and checked the timer again. He turned up the radio that was on the bathroom windowsill and jumped to the music as he brushed his teeth.

He spat out the toothpaste and wiped his mouth, as the timer hit thirty seconds. He rushed back into his room and held his hand out the window. Finally, he closed his eyes, taking in the warmth that hit his hand and danced off his face.

“Hello, friend. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

He smiled to himself. He could never explain why he did these things. It was just in his nature to want to see every little thing and tell it how special it was. He grabbed his bag from the chair and slung it over his shoulder. His dad was still asleep but there was a lunch made downstairs, so he put it in his bag before grabbing his key from the side.

At the last second before he went out the front door, he remembered to feed his goldfish that was swimming in circles in the bowl on the kitchen table. He thought how sad it was that the fish would have to spend his days alone. It couldn’t be much fun, swimming in a bowl all day.

As Magnus raced across the kitchen, he dropped his keys and fumbled to pick them up. He’d slept awkwardly on his arm but shook it out with a smile on his face. Life was good, so all-in-all he couldn’t complain. He pulled the door shut and walked joyfully down the driveway as he looked up at the sky. He'd needed to take a jacket, which he hated (Wearing one, not the actual jacket which was actually quite nice).

Magnus dad had offered to drive him before, but he enjoyed the walk. His headphones swung lightly as he sang at the top of his voice, twirling around a lamppost and smiling as one of the neighbours looked on in both confusion and amusement.

He took a quick detour, around the back of the houses. One of the neighbours had a pond and he looked over the fence to see if the coast was clear before setting his bag down. The ducks quacked as he undid the zip on his bag, opening his lunch box and pulling out a piece of bread and butter. He tore it into chunks and threw a piece, so the two larger ducks ran to the other side of the pond. The tiny duck with the limp looked up at him and he gave it the other half of the bread. It waddled off defiantly, as the other two ducks squabbled over the little pieces of bread that were floating in the water.

Why should the other duck suffer, just because he was different?

Eventually Magnus reached the school gate. He noticed Jonathan, Raj and Victor who were sitting on the wall. Victor lifted his head as Magnus approached them.

“Mann! We got so wasted last night! It was hilarious!” Magnus looked from Jonathan and then to Raj. They were both rubbing their temples and looking a little worse for wear.

“Yeah, looks like you guys had a great time. You know there’s better ways to have fun that don’t involve drinking. What did you guys do all night?” The three of them looked at each other and Jonathan creased his eyebrow in thought before laughing. “I don’t remember.”

Magnus sighed. Having a drink was fine but drinking purely to get drunk was worthless. You just ended up with a headache and a wasted night that you didn’t remember. The buzzer sounded to get everyone to their registration classes. Magnus hated being confined to school for six hours but he had to endure it, so he had the rest of his life to live as he pleased. Nothing was going to stop him graduating this year. Nothing. The other boys skipped school regularly and their grades were slipping. They would probably have to repeat the year so who was better off? It was better to suffer through it now and get it over with, but the boys never understood that when he explained it either.

***

Alec groaned and felt a hand against his head. There were muffled voices and the room was dark.

“Just waking up… Went fine… Normal procedure…Temperature up slightly... Heart rate…“

“Mom-“

Maryse stood up and wiped the tears from Alec’s face. The surgeon had said that waking up affected people in different ways, but that Alec would probably not remember it when he came around.

Maryse wiped her eyes. “Momma’s here.”

“My bones hurt, Mommy.”

Maryse looked up at the ceiling and let out a shaky breath. In the space of a few weeks, Alec had gone from the captain of the school archery team to the hollowed shell that he was now. He was bone thin and so pale. Cold to the touch despite the notes by his bed that tracked his current high temperature.

“I know, sweetie. Try and sleep, okay? Sleeping is healing.” Alec nodded slightly, wincing on his side at the ache in his chest. His breathing slowed again and Maryse’s heart jumped before she looked at the monitor for reassurance and told herself that he was just going back to sleep. “Sleep, my angel. Mommy will watch over you and keep you safe.”

***

The final bell sounded as Magnus made his way out. Everyone else was talking about going to various events or outings. Friday was the best day of the week. All days were special really, but Fridays meant he had two whole days where he could do what he wanted and just be himself.

Magnus made his way to the field behind his house and pulled his book out as he lay down in the long grass. His phone beeped and he looked at it, before switching it off. It was a message, reminding those who attended the counselling sessions to sign up to the buddy system. They wanted to pair up the patients who currently had cancer to another that was now in remission. Magnus was considering it but had a few weeks left to make a decision about it.

He threw his phone to the side and stared up with his arms behind his head and his book laid flat against his chest. There was a bird soaring above, and he thought to himself about how carefree it was. It didn’t care about what others thought of it or stress about little things. Animals live freely because that’s what they are. The only limits to humans and their imagination are the limits that they brand upon themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought that I'd add a link if anyone would like to read a little more about port-a-caths. The link is[ here.](https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/treating/chemotherapy/being-treated-with-chemotherapy/implantable-ports.html)
> 
> I thought i'd add that the brace that one of the girls had is called a 'Halo.' They are used after neck injuries to stop a person from moving. My friend in hospital had one after falling down the stairs and they are brutal looking things. I hope you are doing well, wherever you ended up xx
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	3. On My Own Accord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus both hit a low point and decide that a change is in order.
> 
> "Sometimes, life gives you a second chance because you weren't quite ready for the first."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just giving you a heads up that this chapter might be a little hard to take. It might be difficult but please accept it when I say that it is needed. Things sometimes have to get worse before they get better and I'm sticking to my guns in keeping this as honest as I can. <3
> 
> Song for chapter 3:[ "Sorrow."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV9dOY878OM&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=5&t=0s)

“Do you see them yet?”

Jace spoke nervously and put his hand on Izzy’s shoulder. He had lifted Max up so he could see out of the window from their Mom and Dad’s room. Max was clutching around Jace's neck, resting on his hip and almost buzzing with excitement as they all stared out. Alec had done well in the few days previously, in having his first dose of chemo. He was being allowed out for a few days so that he could have the second at home with his family around. A teenage oncology nurse would be visiting now and then to help out. It was far too soon to see any changes yet and he was still very sick, but all of his siblings were eagerly awaiting their parents' car from up the road.

“I think I see them!” Jace set down Max to the floor and watched as he jumped up and down. Max shot off for the stairs before Izzy or Jace had even had a chance to look. Surely enough, the blue car was at the top of the road. By the time Max had run outside, closely followed by Jace and Izzy, the car was pulling onto the road just outside the house. They watched as Maryse and Robert got out and Robert opened the door that was on the other side to the children.

Maryse shot towards them and guided them back towards the house. “Jace, can you please take your brother and sister inside for a minute?”

Jace’s eyes went wide. “What’s wrong?” Jace looked down as Max tugged at his sleeve. 

“Where’s Alec? Is he not coming home?”

Maryse bent down to touch Max's face, still pushing for Jace to get the others inside. “He’s in the car but we just need to get everything sorted before he comes in. Max, would you like to get Alec’s pillows and blanket for him and put the recliner up? Would you be able to do that for me?”

Max nodded and took Jace’s hand as he led him back into the house.

Maryse let out a breath and put her hand out to guide Izzy inside. Izzy turned to the car and her eyes teared up. “Mom, I can hear crying. Please tell me what’s happened.”

Maryse sighed and hugged her tightly. “He’s fine, Iz. Can you do me a favour and bring the pack of wipes from the bathroom? And grab the other pyjamas and slippers from Alec’s room?”

Izzy returned a minute later and handed them to Maryse. “Is there anything that I can do to help?”

Maryse shook her head and kissed the top of Izzy’s. “Just be there for your brothers, okay?”

Izzy clung onto the door and looked over to the car. Robert was speaking quietly with his head bent down. She couldn’t see Alec through the tinted windows. “Just tell him I love him, okay?”

Maryse walked around to the other side of the car. She caught the end of what Robert was saying as she pulled a handful of wipes from the packet.

“- absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Maryse pushed the door further so she had more room to work with. Alec was groaning as he sat sideways on the seat, facing the door. He had been sick on the way home and his front and the back seat were covered. Tears ran down his face as Robert tried to reassure him that he was okay. That he was safe. Maryse pulled up her sleeves as she helped Robert to lift Alec’s shirt over his head. She tried to hide a gasp. She hadn’t realised how skinny he was. There was a bag on the end of Alec’s NG tube, and she had to guide it through his collar. She spoke quiet words of reassurance as she did it, being careful not to touch the port in Alec’s chest.

Alec sniffled without meeting his parents' eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that you have to do this.”

Robert had got a carrier bag from the boot and Maryse dropped the soiled pyjama top into it. “Alec, it happens. Remember when Jace was little and he was travel sick in the car? It’s no different, okay?”

Alec turned his head and groaned in loathing as Robert helped to guide his joggers off, leaving him in just his boxers. He hated the idea of being changed like a two year old, but the alternative was scaring his siblings, and he cared about them more.

Fresh tears rolled down his face. He was so worried aboutwwhat this meant and was close to begging. “Please Mom, don’t take me back to the hospital.” Maryse wiped his face and neck, before reaching for his hands.

“Remember that this is just for a few days. Today is Thursday and they said you can stay here until Saturday night if everything is okay. I’m sorry, but if you keep being sick, then we need to make sure you are in the best place. We love you and want you with us, but you need to be taken care of properly. We’ll see what the nurse says when she visits later, okay?”

Alec nodded as Robert helped to guide the clean shirt over his head. It was followed quickly with the joggers which were more difficult. They almost had to lift Alec up to get them on. Robert thought to himself as they did it. He hadn’t been able to lift Alec since he was ten.

Alec waited to get his breath back, as he leaned into the body of the car. Maryse dropped his slippers and he guided his feet into them. He held his hand up and closed his eyes. Robert was walking around to the trunk of the car. Alec had seen the collapsible wheelchair in the back and was not using it.

“I don't care how useless I am, I am not using the fucking chair.”

Robert paused with a look of horror. Alec never swore and it caught him off guard. Maryse held her hand out and protested as Alec slowly started walking towards the house. Alec batted her hand away as he wiped a frustrated tear from his eye. “Please, Mom. Just let me keep the shred of dignity that I have left.”

***

Magnus pulled into the parking space and checked his reflection in the rear view mirror. He flashed a white grin and touched his hand to his hair before leaning over the passenger seat and opened the glove compartment. Inside was a bag of mint imperials and he reached for them, swearing as he dropped half of them across the floor and the passenger seat. He popped one into his mouth before climbing out of the car and stretching his back. Driving always made his legs go numb, so he moved the seat backwards a bit. It was tiny, insignificant things like this that always got the other guys angry. Magnus didn’t see the issue. If an issue arises, you correct it before it becomes a larger problem and just get on with your day.

Magnus clicked the car keys and turned to walk towards the mall. There were fountains leading up to it, on either side of the steps. He took in the sound of splashing water and the children who were running around in it. There was a little boy there, being scooped up by his father. The father laughed as a little girl joined them and clutched at his legs, smiling up with bright, innocent eyes and a face full of adoration. Magnus smiled sadly at the ground, before continuing on. Some things you couldn’t change. You just had to get on with it.

He ran up the steps and pulled a paper from his pocket. His dad had written down a few things that he wanted because Magnus was a tad forgetful. His dad had asked Magnus to get: a birthday card for a friend, a tie he had ordered from the tailors and a pair of oven mitts for some reason. Magnus nodded and folded the paper away as he walked into the pet store. He actually worked there part time, but today was a day off.

He leaned over the large, glass box that was in the middle of the store. Several puppies ran over and fought with each other to lick his hands. He’d always wanted a dog, but his dad worked all day, so it wouldn’t be fair to have one. He made kissy noises at them, as he carried on walking through the shop. The puppies followed him until they reached the end of the tank and gathered together in a fluffy pile.

He checked his phone. Drop in was in an hour but the hospital was only just up the road so he didn't have to hurry at that moment. He grabbed a container of goldfish flakes, so Fish wouldn’t go hungry, and pulled out his wallet to pay for it. On second thought, he moved further along and picked up a pack of dog treats. He always kept them in his school bag, in case he came across any dogs on the way there.

As he paid for his things and made his way out of the store, he checked his phone for messages. He knew was a bad habit as he hardly spoke to anyone outside of school hours, but it still saddened him a little to see that there weren’t any missed calls or anything. He was a social person and had a big heart to offer to anyone who would be willing to accept it.

After picking up everything for his father, he made his way over to the discount makeup store that was closer to the car park. The girls in school always blathered on about how it didn’t have good stuff anymore, but Magnus felt sorry for them. It had amazing things if one knew how to actually do makeup properly. He walked into the store and waved hello to the girl behind the till. She was much older but had been one of the first people to introduce him to the joys of makeup but Magnus was only having a flying visit today. He’d tripped and dropped his favourite eyeliner pencil the day before, so he needed another one. He promised himself that he wouldn’t get carried away this time. He needed the eyeliner pencil and nothing else.

There was another girl by the back of the store. She was sweeping as Magnus walked past and she blew a bubble with the gum that was in her mouth. She pointed to the corner of the store where there was a large sign. “Everything over there is on sale.”

Magnus walked out of the store, struggling to hold everything in his hands. Sure, he’d gone a bit overboard again, but life was for living. A lot of the stuff he hadn't tried before, but he was excited about experimenting with a new look. Why shouldn't he? He worked hard for his money and couldn’t wait to try everything out. He thought to himself as he reached the car and glanced at his blank phone again, wishing he had someone to talk to about what he had bought. Sure, he would enjoy himself later on, but it would involve another evening alone in his room. Sometimes he just wished that he had someone to share it all with.

***

Alec sat down on the couch. He’d just had a bath and the bottom of his hair still felt damp as he ran his hand over it. Even that one task had exhausted him so he laid out on the recliner and shut his eyes for a second. He opened them when he heard footsteps. He was never left alone for more than a few minutes and suspected his Mom had been hovering outside the door while he was in the bathroom.

Max poked his head around the corner of the couch and Alec smiled. “Hey, Max. You okay?”

Max nodded and put a piece of card into Alec’s hands. “A special lady came to school today. To see me. We drew a picture together.”

Alec patted the seat next to him. He knew what Max was referring to. She was a special counsellor who helped young children through family issues. His Mom had told him about her, but she had said that Izzy and Jace would be going to a club or something else instead. “She did?”

“Yeah. She told me that I have to give you lots of hugs. To help you feel better.” Alec put his arm around his brother.

“Thank you, Max. It helps a lot.”

Jace and Izzy met eyes across the table, listening to Max and Alec talk. They had come in quietly and sat down but neither of their brothers had noticed them. Robert and Maryse had been told to keep everything as normal as they could but it would take time to get used to. The living room had a drip stand and there was a blood pressure machine on the table. Jace looked to the corner. He hadn’t had any needles since he was small and couldn’t remember having them. There was a yellow box in the corner called a ‘sharps’ box for any needles that were used on Alec, and it scared him a little. The yellow box was too bright and stung his eyes if he looked at it for too long.

Both Jace and Izzy got up in mutual agreement. They walked around the couch and sat down. Jace sat down on the arm, his own arm around Alec’s shoulder. He pressed his head against Alec’s and Izzy put her arm over Max, huddling them all together. They remained silent for a moment, before Izzy spoke quietly. “Is there anything we can do?”

Alec bit his lip and then nodded. “Go get Mom and Dad. I’ve been thinking and there’s something I want to do.”

Maryse and Robert walked in from the kitchen. Izzy had asked them to come in and they looked on in concern at the three brothers who were piled together. Max was falling asleep. Maryse looked at the clock on the wall. It read half seven. It was way past Max’s bedtime and he had school tomorrow, but she didn't want to deprive him of any time with Alec while he was home. “Is everything okay?”

Alec gestured to the glass on the table and Jace rushed forward to hand it to him. One of the side effects of chemo was having a dry mouth all the time.

He took a drink from the glass. “I want to shave my hair.”

Maryse looked at Robert before speaking. “Alec, surely-“

“No, I do. I want everything from now on to be on my own accord. There’s a high chance that I’ll lose it through treatment, so I want it gone. It’s my decision.”

Maryse thought for a second before nodding. The doctors had told her earlier that for Alec’s mental state, he needed to have some control over what was happening to him. If shaving his head was one of the ways of doing that, then she was in no position to refuse. “Wait here a minute.”

She returned a minute later with Robert’s electric shaver and helped Alec to the chair by the table. She had expected him to look upset but he was actually smiling.

Alec turned and looked at his siblings. “Who wants a go!?” Maryse plugged in the shaver and watched in horror as Jace ran the clippers across the middle of Alec’s head. All four kids were in stitches at the sight of him in the mirror and Max was jumping up and down as he clapped. “My turn! My turn!”

Maryse smiled when everything was finished, laughing when Jace said that his brother looked like Robert. Alec appeared happier than earlier and Jace had given him his burgundy bobble hat with a large pom pom on the end, just in case he went out and his head got cold. Alec ran his hand over his head. It felt weird but a relief not to be worrying about it anymore. He had been stressing about it all week and it had been really getting him down. He felt a little lighter. Like there were more issues that could be solved if he thought around them well enough. There was no reason he couldn’t get through this and show his cancer who was in charge. He wasn’t going to lay down and die. He was going to win this fight.

***

The clock hit eight and the drop in session was concluded. Magnus had offered to put the chairs away, so all the little kids rushed out and back to their various wards. Those who couldn’t rush were wheeled by the various nurses. He stacked some chairs against the far wall and picked up a tambourine off the floor. The kids always enjoyed songs and he loved singing, but for a support group, they didn’t do a lot of talking about their conditions. It tended to be more art and music therapy. A year and a half ago, when he had been in the middle of his radiotherapy, there were about four other teenagers around the same age as him and the drop in sessions were more catered for the various age groups. Magnus had struggled then with his aggression and his memory, but they had all accepted him despite that. He had no idea where any of them had ended up.

The room was getting dark, but he was nearly finished. He was gathering some plastic cups and putting them in the bin when he heard footsteps from behind him. As he did so, he turned to see one of the nurses. “Oh. Hello.”

The nurse was out of breath. “Thank goodness you’re still here! I forgot to tell you something. There’s a boy around the same age as you who has started having treatment here. He was supposed to be here tonight but he’s having a few days at home to rest. I think you guys could really hit it off and I think you could be good company for each other. Is there any chance that you would like to meet him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with the story. It's all picking up from here <3
> 
> Just thought that I'd attach a link about personality changes caused by both cancer and chemo. It explains some of Alec's erratic actions through this chapter. The link is[ here.](https://cancer.livebetterwith.com/blogs/cancer/personality-changes-cancer-patients)


	4. Wishing You Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is doing well with his treatment, so decides to take a visit to the shop. The foyer contains a well used fountain that is filled with pennies. Alec decides to throw one in, unaware that all of his wishes are about to come true.
> 
> "Remember that sometimes, not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 4:[ "I Was Made For Loving You."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D90iRWHwHBQ&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=5)

A few days later, Alec had been moved to his own room with a little that balcony opened out onto the front of the hospital. He had been spending some time there, taking in the sound of the wind-chimes that came from somewhere he couldn’t figure out, and playing with the Rubik’s cube that Jace had given him. He often enjoyed sitting just outside the door, taking comfort in his own company and be left alone with his thoughts. It was a quiet afternoon and not much had been happening. One of the nurses would come in now and again to check on him but other than that, he had been on his own for most of the day. Maryse had gone home to sort out a few things with Robert, and all of his siblings were in school. They had said that they would be by later.

There was a knock on the door which opened out onto the balcony and Alec turned around to see who it was. On the balcony was a little table with two chairs and his nurse walked over to sit opposite him.

“Hey, poppet. Do you mind if I take some blood from you?”

Alec unbuttoned the top of his shirt, displaying his port, and the nurse unpeeled the thin film that had been placed over it. They always put numbing cream over it, about a half hour before they took any blood samples and she wiped the cream away as Alec turned his head. He was fine with having it taken, but it didn’t mean he liked to watch it.

After she finished, she unhooked Alec’s IV line which was giving him fluids from a drip. The cycle had finished so she unhooked it from the cannula in his hand and covered it over with a bandage as she checked over Alec’s NG tube. She went quiet for a second and Alec looked up at her.

She spoke softly. There was an art in telling young patient’s things that they didn’t want to hear. "I’m really sorry, sweetheart, but it’s blocked. We could try and flush it, but it would probably happen again...”

Alec put his hand to his face and sighed. The nurse was probably expecting hysterics, but Alec just nodded, knowing that it would have to be changed. He’d had it done before, so he knew what to expect now. The nurse left the room for a minute and returned with another kit. “You ready?”

Alec winced slightly as he peeled the tape from the side of his face. “Can I pull it out?”

After walking inside, the nurse instructed him on how to wash his hands properly. He sat on the edge of the bed and with two hands, he started guiding the tube from his nose. The nurse spoke softly and encouraged him that he was doing well as he did it. “The last bit is the worst part, okay? But if you do it quickly, it will be over with.”

Alec gagged slightly as the tube came free. The last second felt like wanting the worst sneeze he’d ever needed and he was glad when it was all over. He’d thought that that tube would never stop coming. Finally, he put the tube into the dish that the nurse held out and put his hand up as she started preparing another one. “Can I ask a massive favour?”

“Sure, sweetheart. What is it?”

“I’m feeling okay today. Would I be able to go to the shop on my own? Just for a little bit and I’ll come straight back. It’s Max’s birthday tomorrow and the shop has cards and balloons. I wanted to get him one of each for when he visits later.”

The nurse nodded but only agreed if Alec let her wheel him to the lift. It wasn’t ideal, but Alec would take what he could get. Everything on the ward looked the same and he’d already worked out about ten times how many ceiling panels were above him. Six panels by eight. Forty eight panels. He needed to get out and see something different. Even if it was only for a few minutes.

The nurse spoke to him as he adjusted his hat on his head. He caught his reflection in the glass as he was wheeled down the corridor. His jacket covered his skinny frame and he had a little colour in his cheeks. His oncologist has said that he was responding well to treatment and Alec could almost believe that he looked normal without having his tube in his nose. They made small talk, just until the lift came into sight.

Alec stood up slowly and thanked the nurse for taking him. She told him that if he wasn't back in ten minutes, she would have to come looking for him.

He walked into the lift, feeling somewhat like a free man. He wasn’t going to do a runner or anything, but as he looked in the mirror, he couldn’t help thinking that he could blend in with everyone downstairs and feel normal for a few minutes.

***

Magnus groaned and rubbed his face as he sat up in his bed. He’d fallen asleep in his clothes. Jonathan and the others had coaxed him into trying tequila the night before and he had gotten back late. He had some explaining to do to his father.

He rubbed his eyes as he made his way downstairs, running back up once again as he was nearly sick in the bathroom. He poured a glass of water before sitting down opposite his father. His father hadn’t looked up from his paper yet. Magnus’ head was pounding and the light from the kitchen window was hurting his eyes. Magnus fiddled with a napkin that was on the kitchen table, without meeting his father’s glare.

Asmodeus spoke quietly, interrupting the silence. He pushed the plate of pancakes over. Magnus hadn’t been eating much lately. “You want to explain yourself?”

Magnus murmured with his head down. He had a good defence, as far as he was concerned, but his dad probably wouldn’t accept it.

He looked up with tears in his eyes. His dad just didn’t understand. No one did. “I just want to live my life, Father. It was a one off and I’m sorry. The guys were all egging me on and I didn’t want to say no.”

Asmodeus sighed as he set his paper down. Magnus looked up at him. “I understand that, Magnus, but this isn’t you. This reckless behaviour!? What if you had a fit while you were out?" Magnus tried in vain to interrupt. "You’ve been acting up lately. You know better than anyone about the importance of keeping healthy-“

Magnus cut him off. “For God’s sake, Father! I’m seventeen! You can’t tell me how to run my life!” Magnus panted slightly as he stood up and stared angrily at his father.

Asmodeus stood up slowly. “Don’t you dare cuss or raise your voice at me! Those friends of yours are a bad influence!”

Magnus shouted back. “They’re my friends! I will raise my voice at you!“ He gestured with his hand, knocking over a glass or orange juice that he hadn’t realised was there. The glass rolled slowly, and time stood still as it rolled to the edge of the table. It tumbled to the kitchen floor, smashing into thousands of tiny shards as it struck the ground.

Magnus shook his head as Asmodeus stared back in shock. Magnus was usually so placid. Perhaps a visit to the school was in order.

Magnus grabbed his keys and ran out of the house before his father could stop him. He jumped in the car and turned on the engine, knowing hat he shouldn’t be driving, but for once, he wasn’t thinking of his own safety. He just had to get out of the house.

He drove in silence for about fifteen minutes. One of his nurses in the hospital had told him that he could come and talk with someone if things ever got to be too much. There was a buzzer on the wall, in the room that they used for drop-in sessions, where he could wait for someone to talk with him. It had been a great resource over the last year since his inpatient discharge.

He pulled into the car park and looked at his reflection. He felt bad about snapping at his father, but he just needed some room to breathe sometimes. He was a teenager and didn't want to be wrapped up and kept inside. Sometimes he liked going out and being a little reckless.

He made his way upstairs and rang the buzzer on the wall. It wasn’t always answered, depending on how busy everyone was but there were notes to write on that he could put into the box next to it. Someone would contact him later if he still wanted it. He waited ten minutes and scribbled onto one of the notes. He’d really wished that someone was there and found himself getting so worked up that he dropped the pen twice. He grabbed his bag from the floor and started to walk downstairs. He could get his father something and apologise, but it didn’t help the hollow feeling in his chest or the ache in his head.

***

Alec looked over the balloon selection that was up on the wall. The volunteer who ran the shop came up behind him, asking if there was a particular one that he wanted. He had pulled his sleeve over his cannula and he smiled slightly when the woman asked if she wanted him to reach the ‘get well soon’ cards that were up the top. She thought that he was visiting someone else.

He politely declined and picked up a blue one with ‘Birthday’ written across it. She filled the balloon with helium as Alec turned to the bottom shelf that was behind him. She looked up and smiled as Alec threw three packets of Oreos onto the table. She scanned them with a strange look in her eyes. Alec shrugged, pulling his hat from his head and she nodded understandably as he spoke and adjusted it back.

“They’re the only thing that don’t make me feel sick.”

Alec paid the woman and walked out of the shop. It was handy, being so close to the ward, and he hoped that he would stay well enough to keep going there. He found himself out of breath for a moment, thinking that maybe he should start heading back. There was a bench in the middle of the foyer, with a fountain in front of it. He sat down and fished a penny from his change. The bottom of the fountain was covered in pennies and he closed his eyes before tossing it in. There was a sound from next to him and he looked further down the bench as he spoke softly.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Magnus shook his head and sobbed with his head in his hands. Alec slid further down the bench and played with the cuff of his sleeve.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”             

Magnus wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“No, it’s just-“ He looked to the side and stopped dead in his tracks. He displayed a sweet and boyish smile, choking to get his words out. “-Hi.”

Alec smiled back. “…Hey there.”

Magnus tried to wipe his face with his sleeve. He was having the worst luck. Finally, a sweet and unattainably pretty boy had sat down next to him, and he had chosen today to be having a snotty meltdown. He hated to think how much of a mess he looked. The other boy disappeared, and Magnus was once again filled with loneliness and self-loathing. He jumped when Alec returned a minute later and sat down next to him with a box of tissues.

He took one and wiped his face, feeling slightly embarrassed. Alec sat down next to him as Magnus spoke quietly. 

“Thank you. I had a fight with my father this morning, and my friends aren’t being friends." Magnus sniffed. "I drove here, and I wasn’t supposed to, and I got drunk last night even though I hate drinking and I'm not supposed to drink, and now my head hurts. I’m sorry, I’m rambling.”

Alec snapped back to reality, whimpering slightly in his seat. _Ohmygod, he’s gorgeous._ “Sorry, what did you say?”

Magnus gestured to the cart on the other side of the fountain. “Would you like to get a coffee?”

***

Catarina walked out into the foyer and looked around. She had given Alec ten minutes and skimmed the crowd in concern when she hadn’t been able to find him. They had to give patients some breathing space, for their own sanity, but she saw her patients as her own kids and worried about them when they went walking around. Especially since he needed to come back for chemo in an hour from then. Alec had set reminders in his phone and was well organised, It was his way of maintaining control over his condition, and she knew that he would be back in time for it but wasn't sure where he had gone. Perhaps he had wanted to take a walk and lost track of time.

The crowd parted, and she smiled as she looked out towards the fountain. Alec was sitting on the bench, holding a coffee and laughing with one of her old patients. She hoped that he was doing okay. She hadn’t seen him in a long time.

She started to make her way back towards the ward. Even despite the treatments and procedures that were keeping Alec alive, perhaps this was what he really needed.

***

Alec blew on the coffee, taking a tiny sip. He didn’t want to end up being sick later so was taking it slow. “See, it’s not all bad.”

Magnus nodded, feeling so much better. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.” He held out his hand. “I’m Magnus. Magnus Bane”

Alec smiled. “Alexander- Alec Lightwood.” He held out his hand and Magnus’ eyes widened at the bandage around it. Magnus would recognise a covered cannula anywhere.

Alec’s eyes were sparkling and bright. He had a birthday balloon with him, so Magnus had presumed he had just been there to visit the shop. This boy literally radiated life; how could it be that he was ill? Poor thing. Magnus pouted his bottom lip, gently holding onto Alec's hand and supporting it as he looked at the cannula. Alec glanced down at his fingers and observed how Magnus' were wrapped around them softly. “You’re sick?”

Alec nodded and Magnus let go. He pulled his sleeve back over his hand and suddenly found himself very conscious of the bobble hat that was on his head. Magnus tilted his head at him and Alec sighed. He pulled his hat off and waited for Magnus to either run or laugh at his shaved head. When Magnus eyes teared up and it appeared that he wasn’t going anywhere, Alec spoke softly. “Acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. Blood cancer.”

Magnus gasped in shock as sat forward and parted his hair. The sides were shaved but where it was longer on the top, it covered a large L- shaped scar. “Glioblastoma. It’s a very aggressive brain cancer. Or it was. They removed the tumour and I was very lucky. I had radiotherapy and chemo for a year and now I’m a year into remission.”

Alec sat back, taking in the sound of the water and the people around them. “You beat cancer?”

Magnus nodded, adjusting his hair back. “Just. You can too, Alec. There’s nothing you can’t do if you put your mind to it. You’ve just got to fight harder than the thing that is trying to hurt you.”

Alec teared up. “Ohmygosh. Can I hug you?”

Magnus moved towards Alec and hugged him gently. He was well researched and knew that Alec was probably hiding his pain. Magnus spoke softly as they broke apart. Alec was so thin that he was afraid he would break him. Magnus smiled sweetly. “I’m so glad that I-“

Alec’s phone beeped and he rolled his eyes. Had they really been talking for an hour? “Oh, fantastic! Well I’ve got to go have poison put in me.” Magnus drained his cup, only now noting that Alec hadn’t been drinking it. He should’ve realised. It would probably make him sick if he drank it so Magnus was glad that he had paid for them both.

Alec gathered up his things and stood up, turning to head back. He really wanted to ask Magnus for his mobile number so they could be friends, but something held him back. Magnus was free of cancer. That part of his life was behind him. He couldn’t let Magnus get close to him. He had only known him an hour and already wanted to spare him the pain of being with him. He wanted to protect him. He clearly had enough problems as it was.

Magnus caught Alec's sleeve, gently, and stood to face him. “Can I walk you back?”

Alec paused for a second. “Listen, Magnus-“

“I know what you are going to say. I’ve been there myself-”

Alec sighed, barely holding back tears as his voice wobbled. “I don’t want to hurt you, Magnus. Please believe me when I say that I want us to be friends. It's just- Magnus, I try to hide it but I'm so sick. What if something happens to me? Or it gets too much for me and I have to break your heart?”

Magnus held his hands out and Alec took them in his own. He would never usually be like this with a stranger, but Magnus didn’t even feel like one at this point. He felt like home. Like Izzy’s hugs and the warm cookies that Maryse made to cheer the kids up when they were sad.

Magnus clutched Alec's hands tightly. He didn't plan on letting him go. Not now. He met Alec's eyes and ducked his head shyly. “Alexander Lightwood, it would be an absolute privilege to have my heart broken by you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 All the support has been absolutely amazing so thank you so much x
> 
> Taken for this chapter, one of my most vivid memories is pulling my NG tube out while at the table in the play room. All the other kids were quite disgusted, as they should have been. Sorry guys ;) I commend Alec for being more mature about it this time. You're a star <3
> 
> I'll also add that I had my Rubik's cube over 10 years ago, while I was in hospital and I still haven't been able to solve it. Also, counting ceiling panels becomes a regular staple if you're stuck in a hospital bed all day. There were 56 in my room.
> 
> Just adding a link again on Glioblastomas, if anyone would like a little more information.  
> The link is[ here.](https://www.everydayhealth.com/glioblastoma/symptoms/)


	5. Building Blocks of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus has a scare and meets Alec's family for the first time.
> 
> "In the beginning there is the stem cell; it is the origin of an organism’s life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 5:[ "Bleed Out."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkeBy9Kr9NE&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=6)

Magnus was looking through the window in Alec’s room when Catarina came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, sweetheart. It’s good to see you again.”

Magnus turned around with a half-hearted smile. Alec was curled up, facing away from him in the bed without a blanket draped over him. His knees were tucked up and there was a fan on full blast, running on the table in front of him.

“Is he okay?”

Catarina gestured for Magnus to follow her. She led him into a small room used to speak to friends and family members. He set his bag down and waited expectantly for Catarina to start speaking. He’d only known Alec for two weeks and they had been the best two weeks that he’d had in a long time. Catarina shut the door with a click and walked over to take the chair that was opposite him.

“He’s developed an infection from somewhere. His temperature is sky high and we don’t think that this type of chemotherapy is working for him anymore.”

Magnus’ heart jumped a few beats. “What does that mean?”

Catarina rubbed her temples before replying. “He’s going to need a bone marrow transplant and then we’ll try him then with a different type. Did you know of anyone having one when you were in?”

Magnus shook his head. He’d had heard about other patients having them but didn’t really know what it involved.

Catarina nodded before explaining in the mechanical way that medical professionals did. “A stem cell or bone marrow transplant replaces damaged blood cells with healthy ones. Stem cells are special cells produced by bone marrow, a spongy tissue found in the centre of some bones, that can turn into different types of blood cells. The process is risky. Alec’s body could reject the cells but it’s better if we harvest cells from a family member. If one of them matches, then there’s a higher chance they won’t be rejected. Alec will have to go into isolation for two weeks before, so that we can essentially ‘wipe out’ his immune system before the transplant. That means minimal visitors. We’re pumping him with antibiotics to get the infection under control first, so these few weeks are going to be very difficult for him.”

Magnus sat forward, trying to take in what Catarina had said. It was a lot to take in. “Could you test me? To see if I’m a match? I know it’s a long shot-“

Catarina moved to sit down next to him. “I knew that you’d want to do this, but you can’t donate if you’ve had cancer in the past five years or received chemo or radiotherapy.” Magnus nodded. He hadn’t expected her to agree, but it still hurt. “Alec’s family members are in a clinic a few wards over. Alec’s sister and parents are having blood tests done now, to see if any of them are matches. Would you like to come and meet them?”

Magnus nodded as she stood and held her hand out. He’d been hoping to meet Alec’s parents under different circumstances but reluctantly, he followed.

***

Alec opened his eyes a crack and peered into the darkened room. The curtains were drawn and the only things he could hear were the beeping of the heart monitor he had been put on and the wind chimes outside. The doctor had told him when he came in earlier that chemo could potentially make a patient go deaf. It hadn’t happened, thank goodness but It seemed strange that a treatment designed to save him could tear him apart from the inside.

He was lying on his left side, so he stuck out his right arm to look at it. While he had been asleep, his cannula had been replaced with another where two drugs could be put in at once. He followed the lines up to the drip stand that held three bags. Two were hooked up and he watched the drips fall from them at regular intervals.

He murmured slightly, and the heart rate monitor started beeping. The door opened from behind him somewhere. Apparently, he was being monitored very closely. A hand was rested on his shoulder and he groaned as he tried to open his sore eyes to see who it was. His whole body felt as if he was frozen but his bones stung like there was fire encased inside them. There was a faint voice that he didn’t really recognise, but he presumed was one of the nurses. He didn’t tend to get many visitors outside of his family. He felt something being put into his cannula and the roaring pain returned to a dull ache. 

“It’s okay, Alec. You’re safe. You gave us quite a scare this morning. Try and go back to sleep, okay?”

Alec nodded slightly, wondering what they had given him. He didn’t need much prompting. Everyone always told him that sleep was good because it meant his body was healing itself. He hated feeling like he was wasting time when he could have been awake, but the quiet room and his warm cheeks lulled him back into oblivion.

***

_I have to run._

_Alec’s heart raced as he flew through the trees and over logs. There was something clawing and scraping at the ground behind him, threatening to catch him if he stopped for even a second. The ground beneath his feet shattered with every step._

_His lungs burned, and his legs ached as he ran. He jumped over a falling log and gasped as he felt his heart pumping healthy blood to his organs._

_There’s something I need to do._

***

Magnus peered into the room and Catarina coaxed him forward. He pushed down the door handle and walked in slowly. A man and woman he presumed to be Alec’s parents stared back. There were three ‘kids’ in the room. A young boy and an older boy and girl who appeared to be around a similar age to what Magnus was. Both of Alec's parents and his sister were sitting in chairs, talking to each other quietly. Both of Alec’s parents had a cotton ball and a piece of tape over the middle of their arms.

Magnus waved shyly as they all looked up at him. “Hi there.”

The little boy ran forward and hugged his legs. Magnus had to put in an effort to keep himself from falling over and the little boy smiled up at him. One of his front teeth were missing.

Catarina smiled as she put a hand on the small of Magnus’ back. “This is Magnus. I thought you’d like to introduce yourselves.”

Izzy grinned into her hand. “Ah. So, this is the boy I’ve heard so much about.” Magnus grinned as Max hugged his legs. He loved little kids.

“Sorry?”

Maryse smiled and walked over, leaning over Max and placing a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “It’s lovely to meet you. Believe me when I say that Alec has not stopped talking about you.”

Magnus put his hands on either side of his face, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up on them. He swallowed before speaking in a strained voice. “Really?”

Max hugged his legs even tighter and looked up. “Are you Alec’s boyfriend?”

Magnus gasped for words, as Maryse picked Max up, handing him over to Robert. She introduced them both to Magnus and walked over to the other side of the room to bring back another chair. She placed it next to Izzy as Izzy introduced herself. “I’m Isabelle, you’ve met Max, and Jace is the one sulking in the corner.”

Jace had his arms crossed and was sat on the bed in the corner of the room. Everyone was having stuff done but him and Max. There was a high chance that Maryse and Robert wouldn’t be a match because Alec only had half of each of their genes. He felt so helpless, as Izzy was the only one of them that really stood a chance of being a match.

Izzy closed her eyes as one of the nurses came forward with a tray. She put her arm over her head as they all watched carefully. Jace jumped up from the table and everyone looked on in surprise as he walked over to Izzy and took the hand that blood wasn’t going to be taken from. He spoke in a soft, low voice as he crouched down next to her. “Hey. Iz. Look at me.” Izzy shook as she turned her head. Her and Jace had been taught breathing exercises in their counselling sessions, but it had all gone out of her head when she saw the needle in the tray. “Count with me. One…Two…”

Izzy matched Jace’s breathing and relaxed a little as they counted to ten together. “Thank you.”

Jace put his hand on Izzy’s head. Alec was the eldest and had always taken it upon himself to care for the others. Kissing scraped knees or giving hugs when things got too much. Since that awful day when their mom had come home with hollow eyes and had told them Alec had cancer, Jace had decided to step up and act as big brother. It was why it hurt so much that everyone else was being tested. He couldn’t help that he was adopted.

Izzy spoke quietly. “Can you tell me when you’re going to take it?”

The nurse held up the vial. “It’s already done.”

Izzy laughed as everyone looked up at it. Billions of microscopic cells.

Cells that could save her brother’s life.

***

Alec rolled over and muttered under his breath. “Catch you…”

He felt movement in front of him but couldn’t open his eyes yet. “M-“

Robert spoke softly. “Your Mom is taking everyone to the Ice cream shop outside. Is there anything I can do for you, Alec?”

Alec mumbled. “Water.” Robert helped him to sit up before bringing him a glass. He held out a tiny paper cup that had five tablets in it and Alec sighed before Robert handed one to him. He usually had four at this time of day, but his temperature meant more medication, again.

“For Mom and Dad, who love you so much.” Robert passed over the first tablet. It was a game they played to remind Alec of what he was fighting for. All the things he would miss out on if he didn’t fight. Each tablet got him closer to being better again and being home with his family.

Alec took the second and swallowed it before speaking roughly. “For Izzy’s first baby and Jace’s graduation.”

Robert handed him the third. “For Max’s first crush.”

Alec swallowed the forth, his voice breaking a little. “For my wedding day. For myself, waiting at the altar.”

Robert choked up as he handed him the last. “And for the lucky man who will meet you there.”

***

Alec opened one eye and shut it again, feeling too exhausted for more conversation. The door could be heard opening and closing, and he spoke quietly. Robert had probably forgotten something. “What is it?” There was no reply and Alec opened his eyes to see Magnus. “Oh, I didn’t mean that. I thought you were my dad for a second.”

Magnus smiled and walked to the end of the bed. He put a bag on the table and opened it, pulling out a pack of Oreos, a few Jellies and some oranges that he knew Alec liked. This was followed by a small bunch of flowers that Magnus had picked from his garden. He walked over to the sink and filled up a cup before placing them in the water and returning to put them on the table. “I thought I’d see how you were doing. I met your family earlier. They’re really nice.”

Alec smiled and moved over so Magnus could sit next to him. “My dad told me earlier. They really like you. You didn't have to bring stuff for me."

Magnus spoke quietly. "For so long, I've had others taking care of me. I want to look after you, Alec. I care about you. Besides, it's nice to be taking care of someone else for a change."

Alec waited a second before speaking. He hadn't fancied anything to eat for days. "Can I have one of those oranges?”

Magnus walked to the table and back, handing one to Alec. Alec struggled for a minute to peel one and passed it to Magnus in defeat. He had his cannula in one hand and the blood pressure cuff was around his other arm.

Magnus sat back next to him and peeled it as Alec rested his head on his shoulder. He was so tired, he didn’t really know what he was doing. Magnus pulled a segment off and held it out, putting it in Alec’s mouth when he struggled to move either of his hands. Alec mumbled as he ate it, refusing a second. “Thank you. Could you come with me tomorrow?”

Tomorrow was Thursday. “Sure. You coming to the counselling session?”

Alec shook his head before reluctantly taking another piece. “No, I’m being realistic. Can you come with me to find out if Izzy’s a match?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ❤️
> 
> I just wanted to add the importance of donating blood products. My sisters friend recently donated his bone marrow and was matched with a stranger which he was told was a 1 in a 20 million chance. Even if you can't donate bone marrow, please look into donating blood or platelets because you will definitely save a life. I wouldn't be here without my blood transfusions and neither would my father ❤️


	6. Candle in the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's doctor wants to meet suddenly, with him and his parents. Whatever happens, they know that it's going to change everything.
> 
> "No matter your battle, no matter your scars - inside or out- there were times when you were in your worst place and survived."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 6:[ "You Are Loved."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfs265p4yMg&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=7)

“Should we wake him?”

Maryse looked at her husband. Alec was in a restless sleep, speaking under his breath as he clutched at his pillows. It was only six in the morning, but Robert and Maryse had been called to the hospital to discuss both their own and their daughters blood results. They had needed to trust Jace and Izzy to get up and take Max to school with them and it was scary, but they had grown a lot in the past month and they understood the importance of helping their parents out.

Maryse looked over to her sleeping son, curled up and looking so like the little boy she had used to carry out of the car on the way home. When he used to pretend to be asleep so that he could be carried inside. “The doctor said that he wants to see us now. I don’t know if it’s better for Alec to be with us or not. Fingers crossed for good news.”

Robert walked over to his son and crouched down. Alec’s eyes were moving under his eye lids and his lips moved as if he wanted to say something.

“He’s a grown man now. Whatever the doctor says, we’ll deal with it as a family.”

***

_I have to run._

_The ground crumbled away as Alec raced ahead. Animals have better instincts than humans and always flee in the right direction. Alec followed a herd of deer, grunting as he soared over broken branches and rotting wood. He looked around in panic as the deer raced ahead, screaming as the ground behind cracked and creaked as it broke apart. He must have run for miles before the trees started to thin out. A voice told him to relax,  despite the chaos following behind, threatening to catch him if he turned for even a second to look back._

_The trees opened out onto a large patch of ground. The grass was scorched and burning. The sky was empty, streaked with red and anger. There was a lone tree, in the middle of the field. All he knew was that he had to reach the tree or die trying._

_There’s something I have to do_

***

“M-“

Robert gently touched Alec’s shoulder. “Mom and Dad are here. It’s okay.”

Alec opened his eyes slowly. His very essence of existing currently hurt. He groaned as Robert placed a hand on his face, hating that they had to see him like this. He’d slept since Magnus had left yesterday evening, probably about twelve hours, only waking a few times to be poked or prodded by various nurses. But he was still tired. Tired of everything. Tired of existing, even though he wouldn’t tell his parents that.

Robert spoke softly. Maryse had slipped out of the room. “Sorry for waking you up, champ, but your doctor wants to speak with us all.”

Alec spoke under his breath, still under a haze of drugs and sleep. Robert wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t so close. “Is my blood better, Dad?”

Robert paused for a second as Maryse came into the room. There were tears down her face and she was wiping them with a tissue. She nodded when Robert asked if she was okay and gestured for him to turn his attention back to Alec.

Robert stood up and ran his hand over Alec’s cheek. “He’s too sick to be moved, Maryse. Can you ask the doctor if he’ll speak with us here?” Alec groaned slightly. He was due pain medication and his heart rate was going up and down on the monitor.

Alec spoke roughly under his breath. One of the nurses had said that he’d woken around five that morning to one of them doing his blood pressure and had said some things that weren’t particularly nice. Like anyone on chemo, Alec had good days and bad ones, and both his condition, and his treatment could manifest itself in many different symptoms and emotions. Today seemed like one of those days where his ugly cancer displayed itself in aggression. Alec growled with his face against the pillow. “Don’t speak about me like I’m not here!”

Robert met eyes with Maryse from across the room. They had to remember that their sweet Alec was still there. He was just busy at war with himself. “Sorry, Alec. We hate to wake you up so early but we’re going to ask the doctor to come here, okay?”

Alec pouted as he reached out his hand, his eyes still closed. “Good. Now, I need to make a phone call. Pass me someone’s phone and get out. ”

***

Magnus rolled over in his bed and rubbed at his face. It was too early to be up for school, but the early light peeked through his curtains, shining directly in his eyes. He rolled over and checked the time on his phone before sliding it back under his pillow. He felt groggy and exhausted. Between hospital visits, school and work, he’d been pushing himself far too much.

His phone buzzed from under his pillow and he squinted again to look at the screen. The phone continued to ring as he looked at it and read the name that was displayed.

_Maryse Lightwood._

Tears filled his eyes as he shot up, nearly throwing the phone as he raced to kick the blankets off that were tangled around his legs.

He looked at the screen and as it continued to ring, his thumb hovered over the green circle.

_Oh, my God. He’s gone, hasn’t he?_

Magnus pressed the green button and brought it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hey, Magnus. It’s me.”

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his eyes with the corner of his blanket. “Oh, my God. Alexander, it’s so good to hear your voice. Is everything okay?”

No matter how aggressive his condition or treatment made him, Alec had never been anything but sweet and gentle with Magnus. There were some things that Alec didn’t let his cancer hold over him. His cancer would never be allowed to hurt Magnus. Alec would make sure that no one ever would. Magnus listened in concern. Alec was crying quietly as he spoke like a little child. “I want you here with me.”

Magnus moved over and put his legs over the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

Alec rolled over and passed the phone to the other hand. “They want to tell… tell me…”

Magnus rubbed his eyes. “It’s okay. Take your time.”

“They want to tell me if anyone’s blood matched mine. Like, now.”

Magnus stood up and walked to the window, pulling the curtain closed. His heart was racing. He had so wanted to be there with Alec. “I want to be with you, Alec, but you guys can’t wait. Find out and I’ll ring at break time.”

“Magnus?”

“Yes?”

“Whether it’s a match or not, I’m still going to have to wait two weeks in isolation, so they can cut down my immune system. What if I’m not strong enough to last these two weeks? I’m really frightened and... and it’s stupid but I’m going to miss my school dance now. Not that there were any guys from school that I wanted to go with. I wish I could have gone with you.”

Magnus spoke softly, choosing his words very carefully. It had probably been that Alec was never going to get to go to the dance, but his family had been humouring him until now. Magnus didn’t get it. Sometimes it was better to know the truth. “I swear on a God I don’t believe in that you will get through this, Alec. You’ve been so strong, but you have to fight harder than you’ve ever fought before. You can’t be defeated when you’re so close to winning or everything you’ve been through will be for nothing. I’m sorry about the dance. You’ll get another, I promise. Are they going to put you in isolation tomorrow?”

Alec nodded and looked up as Robert tapped the window. A doctor had just walked up to and shaken hands with him and Maryse. “Umm. Yes. The doctor’s here. I’ll talk to you later?

Magnus closed his eyes as his heart raced. He paused before speaking, the words falling from his mouth before he could stop them. “Okay… I love you, Alec. Good luck.”

Alec paused and spoke softly before hanging up. “Thank you. I love you, too.”

The door opened, and Alec set down the phone.

Robert helped Alec to sit up. The room was dark, so he opened one curtain, leaving one closed so Alec didn’t have to sit directly in the light. The doctor pulled up a chair and sat opposite Maryse and Robert.

“Thank you for meeting with me at such short notice. It’s very important that we put Alec into the isolation ward, soon. I’m not going to lie to you, Mr. Lightwood, but these next two weeks are going to be very difficult. We need to essentially remove your immune system now, in the hope that we find a suitable donor within the two week window. You will be heavily open to infection so it’s risky, but we have no other choice due to your... continually worsening condition.”

Alec spoke quietly. “'In the hope that we find a suitable donor'? What does that mean?”

The doctor sighed. “I’m really sorry but neither your sister or your parent’s bone marrow were a match.”

***

Izzy looked up at her classroom door. She had been doodling all day, but her teacher hadn’t seemed to mind. The whole school knew by now. She was feeling sick with worry and had wanted to stay home, but as Max and Jace had gone to school, she had decided to go too.

The teacher looked up from her desk. “Come in.”

The door opened, and Izzy stood up at her desk. Jace was gasping for breath as he spoke to the teacher. He'd obviously been running. “Could... Could Izzy come with me? Our dad needs us... to go to the hospital.”

Every head in the room looked at Izzy as she threw her things in her bag and speculations were whispered from the other students that she didn’t want to hear. She ran forward to clutch Jace’s arm. “What’s happened? Is he okay?”

Tears spilled down Jace’s cheeks. He’d never once cried in front of strangers. “I don’t know, Iz. We have to go. Now.”

Izzy and Jace ran from the room, adrenaline coursing through them as they ran to the reception. They rounded the end of the corridor to see Robert rocking back and forth and holding Max.

They skidded to a stop. Jace could hardly breathe or get a word out and Izzy hit Robert's chest, nearly barrelling into Max. “Dad! What’s happened?!”

Robert set Max down and hugged both Jace and Izzy before signing them out on the book by the door. He spoke as they struggled to keep up. “He’s okay. Well, not okay but he’s still with us.” His voice wobbled as he held the door open, knowing that parent should ever have to say that about their child. The car was parked right in front of the door.

Jace did up Max’s seat belt and climbed in as Izzy took the passenger seat. All the children looked at their father expectantly as he pulled the car out. “We’ve been told to let you spend the day with him because he has to be put in the isolation ward tonight.”

Max cut off the silence that followed. “Was he naughty? Jace was naughty once and they put him in the iso- iso-ation in school.”

Robert smiled in the rear view mirror and brought his eyes back to the road. Jace crossed his arms. It had been a wild misunderstanding. It wasn't his fault their teacher had no sense of humour. “No. This is different Max. Your body has a way of stopping you from getting things like the sniffles. The doctors need to take that away from Alec, so his body will want the special blood stuff that we talked about.”

Izzy’s head shot around. “Did they say if my blood will work for Alec?!”

Robert was silent for a second and it was the only answer that Izzy had needed. Tears began to ran down her face and Max looked on in confusion. Jace placed a hand on her shoulder and she put her hand over his as her voice shook. “Why couldn’t I just do this one thing for him?”

Jace spoke softly. “It was a long shot, Iz. At least you tried. They’ll find someone. Dad? Do they have any other ideas of where to look?”

Robert looked sideways before turning the car and speaking quietly. “I don’t know. One thing I do know though is that your brother’s a fighter. He’s got this far. Don’t sign him off yet.”

***

“Are you comfy?” Alec nodded as Maryse adjusted the pillow behind his head. He’d been moved to one of the day rooms, so he could talk to all of his family at the same time. During his isolation, only his mom would be allowed to come in the same room, and she would have to be meticulously clean. The nurses and doctors had told Alec that she would have to wear a plastic apron and gloves to minimise his risk of infection.

Maryse touched the side of Alec’s face, bringing his eyes up to meet hers. “Alec, look at me.”

Alec set his phone down. He’d been trying to get hold of Magnus all day, but he wasn’t picking up. He didn’t go to the same school as the rest of them, so no one had been able to tell him what was happening. Alec looked up slowly and met his mother's eyes. His temper had cooled a bit since that morning.

“Mom? You okay?”

Maryse sniffled as she nodded. “I just want to tell you how proud we all are of you, Alec. You’re so strong for putting up with all this. I love you so much. We all do.”

Alec teared up. “It's not like I have a choice... Momma, I just want to come home.”

Maryse sat down next to him and put her arms around him gently. He shut his eyes and leaned into her shoulder as she made shushing noises. “I know you do, my little grumpapotamus. Just hang on a little longer, okay?”

Alec laughed. “Momm, I told you not to call me that!”

The door burst open on its hinges and Max ran in, closely followed by Jace and Izzy. They had run ahead of their father and he was all the way back by the main entrance somewhere.

They all gathered in a pile, Alec in the middle somewhere. Max was balanced on his knee and Jace and Izzy were either side.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of the whole family sharing jokes and anecdotes. Maryse mentioned that Jace probably would have loved to have a few weeks in bed where he didn’t have to interact with anyone. As the evening approached, Alec checked his phone again. His parents didn’t seem to be that worried and said that something could have come up, but Alec was starting to get scared. What if Magnus had become ill during the day or had a seizure? He had told Alec the previous week that his brain tumour had left him with epilepsy that needed to be closely monitored. He had a medallion which he wore, in case anyone needed to know in an emergency.

Maryse looked at her watch and nodded to Robert. He turned on his phone screen and tried to hide a smile. Alec knew that everyone was trying to remain positive, but he definitely felt that something was happening that he hadn’t been told about.

Robert got up and hugged him, closely followed again by all of Alec’s siblings. Max had gotten teary, but Alec had drawn out a two week time table that he could put on his wall and mark off with stickers, which had made him feel better. The table read ‘Days until I can hug Alec again.’

Alec looked at his phone. It was nearly eight o’clock but the nurse had been in a bit earlier and done all his procedures so that he had the evening all to himself. He went to move towards the door and Maryse held her hand out. “We’ve actually got a surprise for you, Alec. We checked, and everything is okay for you to come out for the evening. We’ve arranged for us to have food together and there’s something laid out in the changing room across the hall.” Alec wasn’t tired for a change so agreed for the sake of his family. He just wished that he could have invited Magnus.

Alec stepped out of the changing room and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He still had his bobble hat on, but the perfectly tailored suit and tie did wonders for his appearance. He didn’t want to know how much it had cost his parents. It was a bit overkill for a family dinner, but they had said that they wanted Alec to stand out and have a wonderful evening.

Alec looked around for a minute. His family members had gone from the other room. They had all said goodbyes earlier, but he hadn’t expected them to forget him and leave him standing there. Especially when he was in a nice suit and had no one to show it off to. Maybe they had gone back to his room to get his stuff ready?

Alec made his way back to the other end where he was staying. The corridor was quiet and dark, there weren't many people around. He reached the door and put his hand down on the handle, looking to the window as he shrugged. The curtain was shut so someone must have been in there earlier to sort things out.

He opened the door and put his hand over his mouth. The room was covered in what must have been a hundred electric candles. There were lights strung in arcs, all across the ceiling, directed towards the open door and the balcony where the little table was laid with a cloth and the foods that he had only told one person that he could eat without feeling ill.

Magnus stood in the middle of the room, a bunch of red roses in his hands and a grin on his face. He was wearing a midnight blue tux and his hair was slicked with the same shade. He held his hand out to Alec, as his eyes darted around the room. Alec reached forward and took Magnus’ hand. “You did this for me?”

Magnus nodded shyly. “I promised you a dance. So, I brought the dance to you.” He reached over to the table which had a small music player on it. As he pressed the button, slow and sweet music started playing. “Mr. Lightwood? Could I have this dance?” Alec sniffed the roses before setting them down on the bed. He hadn’t really danced with anyone before but found that it didn’t matter. Him and Magnus fit perfectly together. Their right hands clasped together as Alec placed his hand on Magnus’ waist and Magnus gently rested his hand on Alec’s shoulder as they swayed gently to the music with their heads pressed together.

They danced together for several minutes. Neither of them saying a word, but each being able to feel the other smiling as they moved. When the song ended, Alec needed a sit down, so Magnus gestured to the balcony outside. He pulled Alec’s chair out for him and took the one opposite. Magnus opened the bottle that was on the table and Alec was smiling too much to say anything. Magnus poured a little into each glass. “Sorry, there’s no alcohol in it. Surprisingly, that’s where the doctor and your parents drew the line.”

Alec smiled as they clinked their glasses together. He took a sip. It tasted sweet, like honey, but his taste buds were not working at their best because of treatment. “My parents were in on this?”

Magnus nodded. “You didn’t think they’d let you dress up that nice with nowhere to go, did you? You have no idea how much convincing it took to let you have tonight. They agreed to let you go to the other ward first thing tomorrow morning.”

Alec laughed as they started eating. Magnus must have cooked it and brought it in because it was nowhere near anything like hospital food. It was relatively plain, but Alec couldn’t stomach much. Magnus had really put in a lot of effort.

They chatted for an hour, before it started to get cold. Alec took Magnus’ hand as he led him inside, the sound of wind chimes still twinkling in the background. Alec excused himself to change into his pyjamas because he didn’t want to end up falling asleep in his nice suit. He returned a few minutes later and sat down on the bed, patting the space next to him. Magnus sat down, and they held hands as Alec rested his head on Magnus' shoulder. Alec spoke quietly and closed his eyes. “I wish I could freeze time and stay in this moment forever. Thank you for tonight. It was amazing and just what I needed.”

Magnus smiled. It had been nothing really. He knew exactly what Alec was going through and now he was facing an agonising two week wait for a donor they didn’t know would come forward. When Magnus didn’t reply, Alec sat up and looked him in the eyes. He turned Magnus’ chin to face him and wiped a tear from his face. He spoke softly. “Hey. I can get through this. I have to. I have too much to fight for.”

Magnus nodded but Alec wasn’t looking into his eyes any longer. Alec licked his lips as he stared at Magnus’. He knew it was reckless and insane, and a whole different kind of fear was running through him, but it was wonderful. Magnus moved back slightly. “Alec, listen.”

Alec looked up. He already knew what Magnus was going to say. “I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be leading you on when I’m so sick. I don’t want to hurt you, Magnus, believe me. It’s just,” he laughed, “ I have the biggest crush on you and you have to know, just in case. I know you might not feel the same-“

Magnus put his fingers on Alec’s lips and laughed. “No 'just in cases', right? Alec, how many guys have ever cooked you a two course meal? And brought you flowers? And decorated your room with candles?”

Alec smiled shyly behind his hands. “Well, now that you put it like that.”

Magnus threw his head back and looked up to the lights on the ceiling. “I have an idea.”

Alec sat back, imitating Magnus with his head back on the pillow before he turned to look at him. ”Go on.”

“Your parents are always telling you reasons you have to fight. Reasons to want to get better. Since I kinda... Okay, since I have a crush on you too," Magnus smiled shyly and blushed in the low light, "then why don’t we just wait for these two weeks. Then when you’ve won your fight, because believe me, I know you will, you’ll find your donor and be better in no time, after that, then we could... start our relationship together. Nothing attached. No medication or hospital visits. Just two guys who get to go on long drives and amazing dates together. What do you say?”

Alec groaned as he laughed. “It sounds like a good idea but are you telling me that I have to wait two weeks to kiss you? Because that might kill me before this freaking cancer does.”

Magnus leaned forward, softly pressing his lips to Alec’s. Alec’s hand slid up the side of his face, cupping Magnus’ cheek. Magnus slid Alec’s hat off his head and Alec’s eyes went wide. Magnus murmured as Alec’s lips moved against his own. “Beautiful.” Alec saw stars in his eyes before they broke apart, the kiss working better and making him feel more alive than any medication ever could.

As they agonisingly broke away from each other, Alec’s chest was moving up and down. His eyelids were drooping so Magnus helped him to get under the covers, his medication and painkillers from earlier finally kicking in. Magnus tucked the blanket over Alec and took his time, turning off each little light around the room. When he turned back, Alec was sleeping soundly with a smile on his face. Magnus moved back towards him. Only the dim light above the bed was on. He tucked the blanket around Alec’s shoulders and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“Sleep, my angel, and get better. I’ll be waiting for you when you wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the few frights in this chapter <3 I hope you found some happy moments in it too. I thought I'd mention why neither Alec or Magnus asked the other if they could be boyfriends. So you know, they are technically boyfriends from now on, but I wanted to show that some things don't always need to be said out loud. Magnus and Alec know how they feel about one another. Despite that, they are still learning how to come to terms with not only Alec's condition but what that will mean for their relationship, going forward.


	7. Mother's Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec receives some visitors while he is stuck in his isolation room.
> 
> "One of the hardest decisions you'll have to face in life is choosing whether to walk away, or try harder."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 7:[ "Waving Through A Window."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC3kc0AIqgw&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=8)

Magnus held his hand out flat, against the glass window of Alec’s room. Alec put his hand up to meet it.

“I really miss you, Alexander.”

Alec laughed. “Magnus, I’ve been here for three days. I’ve seen you every day since they put me in here.”

Magnus smiled as he sat down.  There was a long table running along the glass window of Alec’s isolation room; a table and chairs for visitors to sit on while they spoke through the intercom. Magnus had been there each day, straight up after school and then back again later, unless he had to go to work. “I know, but it's not really the same having to speak through a window. Is your mom coming here tonight?”

Alec nodded as he set his Jell-O down. One of the only positives to being in the room was that he could pretty much eat whatever he asked for. The evening routine for the past three days had consisted of Magnus visiting from six until seven, when no one was around, and them having something to eat together. Alec had been sick a few times the previous morning, and hadn’t wanted to eat much but Magnus was trying to keep his mood up as he sat opposite and ate the lime Jell-O that Max brought especially for Alec. It was Max’s favourite and Alec didn’t have the heart to tell him that he didn’t like it.

Magnus set the spoon down and clapped his hands, once. “So, what are we going to talk about now? I think we’ve pretty much covered everything.”

Alec thought for a second. “How was school today? Apparently, if I have enough time off school, they’ll arrange for me to see a teacher in the hospital. Once I’m out of here, of course. Max told one of his friends yesterday that I was in prison which meant a lot of explaining to his teacher from Mom.”

Magnus sat forward and rested his head on his arms. “That’s funny. School was okay, I guess. I kinda just keep to myself. It might be nice for you to see a teacher. Get some routine back.” He didn’t elaborate any more. Alec suspected that Magnus either didn’t enjoy school or didn’t like the others in his classes.

“Mom said that they’re trying other things to find a donor. I didn’t ask what. I don’t want to get my hopes up unless they know there’s a good chance of a match.”

Magnus put his hand against the glass, again, and Alec met it. “We just have to stay hopeful, don’t we?” He looked at the time on his phone. “Ergh, I hate this. It’s seven already.”

Alec looked at his phone before setting it down. “Yes, I guess it is. Check the corridor.”

Magnus smiled as he looked back and forth across the hallway. “It’s clear.” Alec rushed forward, and they kissed each other quickly through their opposite sides of the glass. It obviously wasn’t the same as being together in person, but Alec had thought it was sweet for Magnus to suggest it. It made him feel like a bit of an outlaw, considering how chaste it was. Anyone walking down the corridor would think they were mad.

Magnus grabbed his bag from the table and Alec waved. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure thing," Magnus smiled, "now, don’t go anywhere, okay? Is there anything you want me to bring for you?” Alec shook his head and laughed as Magnus winked. “I Love you, too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

On the way out, Magnus bumped into Maryse and Robert. They had all timed their visits so that Alec saw different people on different days. Being in the room was incredibly boring sometimes and Alec still had over a week to go of isolation. Then he would have no immune system and it could be potentially be weeks again for his body to accept the new cells. Magnus smiled modestly. He hadn’t told Alec about the incredibly awkward conversation that he had had with Robert. The afternoon before Alec’s ‘dance’, Magnus had gone to Robert to ask him permission to be with his son. Magnus was a tad old fashioned that way. Robert had laughed and told Magnus that he thought him and Alec were already together.

Maryse hugged Magnus tightly, before Robert shook his hand. They were in the corridor so sat down on one of the benches. Maryse smiled. “How is he?”

“He’s okay. I think he’s hiding how ill he’s feeling."

Robert stood up and brushed Maryse's cheek. "I'm going to see him for a bit. I'll see you in a minute."

Robert disappeared down the corridor, leaving just Maryse and Magnus to speak to one another. Magnus rubbed his head and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"I think Robert worries about him."

Maryse spoke without turning her head. "We all do."

Magnus puffed out his cheeks and sighed. "I know-" He sat back and turned to speak with his arms behind his head. "-It just sucks. Alec has done nothing to deserve this. No one deserves this. I’ve been here every day and have just been hoping each time I see him that he’ll tell me that you’ve got a match for him."

There was silence for a moment. “Magnus, I want to thank you.”

“What for?”

“Sometimes I think that you’re the only thing that is getting Alec up in the morning. You didn’t see him before. He was slipping away from us. Since you’ve come into his life, I like to believe that it’s made him fight harder to be with us. He wants a life outside of this ward and all the medications and symptoms that come with it. I think he just wants a life with you, Magnus. I know all this is new but there’s something special between you two. Everyone can see it. You give him a reason to keep going.”

Magnus wiped his eyes. “I so want him to get better, Maryse. I’m so frightened for him sometimes. I try to hide it for his sake but it's so difficult. Maryse?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?”

“I just want you to know that I would give every cell I have for Alec to get better and come home.”

Maryse stood up and crouched down in front of Magnus, meeting his eye level. She put a hand against his cheek, and he closed his eyes, not able to help himself. He’d never known his mother. As far as he knew, he'd never fallen asleep with a hummed lullaby or been sat down on a counter to have a grazed knee cleaned. He'd always dealt with his needs by himself. “I know you would. But you have to take care of yourself too. You will need to be healthy enough for all the adventures you’ll go on with Alec when he gets better, won’t you?”

Magnus smiled, placing his hand over Maryse’s. “Yes. I guess I will.”

***

Robert sat down opposite his son. It still hurt him to have to see Alec in that room. Especially when he was so sick. The doctor had discussed something with him and Maryse that morning but had suggested that they keep it to themselves. Alec had been looking better and the doctor had laughed as he said that it probably accounted to the spiky haired boy who he always kissed goodbye to through the glass. (The idiots hadn’t seemed to realise that Alec’s room was monitored.) But Alec’s blood tests from that morning had shown that his white blood cell count had gone up again. Without the current chemo working properly, Alec essentially had nothing fighting against his cancer. They didn’t want to frighten him or any of the other kids, but they really needed to find a donor quickly. One positive in all of this was that his immune system was crashing already. If they could just find a suitable match, possibly within a few days, then Alec could begin his bone marrow transplant.

Robert laughed as he looked at Alec through the glass. “What the hell have you got on your head?” Alec smiled as he turned the cap around. It was one of Magnus’ baseball caps. There was a large ‘M.B.’ across the front.

Alec smiled as he turned it back around the wrong way. “You don’t like it?”

Robert laughed. “Of course, I like it. I just think it’s a bit passive aggressive to have your boyfriend’s initials across the middle of your head.”

Alec chuckled as he looked over Robert’s shoulder. He didn't know how much his parents knew about him and Magnus, and he wasn't sure if Robert knew or was just teasing him. Maryse walked up behind her husband and sat down next to him as she looked between them. “What are you two laughing about?”

Robert smiled up at Maryse. “You know because of the glass, you joked that Alec looked like one of those puppies in the pet store?”

Maryse looked on in confusion. “Yes…”

Robert laughed. “Well, I think this one has been claimed.”

***

Robert and Maryse stayed until Alec’s eyelids started drooping, Maryse sitting with Alec and them both talking with Robert through the glass. Alec insisted that he was fine, and denied he was falling asleep, only agreeing that his parents go when he suggested that Robert and Maryse get back and see to the others. Izzy had tried to make them all dinner a few nights before and if Robert and Maryse hadn’t suggested that they all go for pizza instead, the rest of them could have ended up in hospital.

Maryse stepped out to take off her apron and gloves, before blowing kisses to Alec. Robert took her hand as they said their goodbyes and set off down the corridor. They had another meeting with Alec’s doctor and were eager to find out what he had to say.

***

Alec pulled the curtains closed, dragging his drip stand behind him. One of the nurses would be around in a bit to sort out his last medications for the day. He sat against his pillows and closed his eyes for a second, taking in the silence of the room. He hadn't wanted to go to sleep yet, but he had been hiding all day how tired and fed up he was, and it had finally caught up with him. He ran his hand over the blanket that was under him. He had been told earlier that his temperature has going haywire, but he didn't feel warm. He wanted to stay up, just a little longer, but it was so difficult to resist the gentle pull.

***

_Alec stood still, taking in the forest around him. There were no deer to guide him, but the trees were quiet and still. The ground was not falling from under his feet. He looked to his right. In the distance was the red, angry sky. Not as far as it had once been but red and angry all the same. He could see the flat plains and the scorched ground, crying out in agony for water that would not fall._

_He looked to his left. A warm, glowing, white light that wrapped around him in wisps and waves, promising that it would put an end to all his pain. All his problems._

_Two voices whispered to him at once. The voices both spoke at exactly the same time, only distinguished by the softness or screeching of their different tones. One voice came from his head, angry and terrifying, driving him towards where he knew he should have been going. The other, softer and gentler, called out from his heart, asking him for the first time in a long time, what he really wanted._

_In the white light from the left, he saw the faces of his mother and father. His siblings. Magnus. His family. They had tears down their faces and were huddled together. Alec knew what the light meant and the warm kindness that it was offering to him. Easing his pain with every step closer. It would be so easy just to fall into it._

_In the other direction stood the tree and the red, angry sky. Alec looked into the distance. A shadow had appeared and was balanced on the top branch. The figure clutched tightly to the branches, looking down at the burning ground below. Alec closed his eyes and spoke softly as he looked towards the tree._

_“I’m sorry, but I have to choose my head.”_

_The deep and scratchy voice whispered a reply into his ear. The ground shifted under his feet and a deer flew out into the trees._

_"Then you better run."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. All your support has been amazing <3


	8. By My Brother's Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are running high as everyone races to find Alec a bone marrow donor.
> 
> "Being sister and brother means being there for each other."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 8:[ "Wilderness."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWMIsCoqAGE&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=10&t=0s)

Izzy opened her eyes and tried to get her bearings in the early morning light. They had gotten back late the night before and she had apparently fallen asleep in the chair in Jace’s room. She stood up with a start, still wearing the clothes she had come home in. She blinked and rubbed her eyes as she glanced around. It must have been nearly midday, not morning. Jace was not a morning, or midday, person and was curled up in his bed, his blanket over his head. His head was twitching back and forth and he was mumbling under his breath. His hand was stuck out from under his blanket, gripping his pillow as his fingers clenched and unclenched rapidly. Izzy walked over and shook his shoulder. Alec had been in isolation for two weeks tomorrow and even though he was trying to hide it, Jace was taking it hard. He'd been having bad dreams but wouldn't tell anyone what they were about.

They had all known that it was going to be tough, and that Alec was very sick, but every day that their father went to the hospital, whether he came back with their mom or not, Izzy and Jace noticed that he had an increasingly sad look in his eyes when he stepped through the door. It absolutely broke her heart that her blood hadn’t been a match for Alec’s, and she knew that he was getting worse each day. Today was Thursday which usually would have meant school, but her and Jace had hardly been there all week. It was easier for Max to keep to his routine, as he was younger and didn't know as much as they did, but the school and their parents had become very relaxed with both her and Jace’s behaviour. She hated it.

“Jace? Psst, Jace. Wake up!”

Jace shot up, throwing his blanket off his head. “What is it?! What’s happened?!”

Izzy threw her arms around her brother, pressing the side of her head against his. “Nothing. I think you were having a nightmare.” Jace wasn’t listening, running his hands through his messy hair. Izzy climbed over him and sat between him and the wall. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin by his head as she felt his heart pounding. She hummed softly and Jace relaxed into her arms, feeling the vibrations between his neck and his shoulder. They had been told in their counselling sessions that it was important that they knew they were there for each other. They had discussed methods of calming each other down, with the help of their counsellor. They had figured out that Izzy preferred distractions when she was panicking. Jace responded better to touch and soothing words.

She spoke softly. “It was just a dream, Jace. They can’t hurt you.”

Jace wiped his eyes with his hand. “I’m okay. I’m sorry. Just- give me a second to get my breath. I’m sorry. My blanket got stuck around my head and I panicked.”

Izzy sat back and turned Jace’s head to look at her. She wiped her thumb over his cheek. “Don’t you dare apologise for anything. You’ve been to hell and back, Jace. We all have. I love you, Jace. I’m here for you. We all are.”

There was a knock on the door and Max stuck his head in. “Guys! Guess what?!” Jace and Izzy shot up. “Mom just rang and Dad said that I can have the day off school!! Get dressed so we can go and see Alec.”

***

Magnus sat down and took a bite from his sandwich. He set it back into the box and snapped it shut, not really in the mood for eating. He looked around before reaching into his bag. He wasn’t supposed to have his phone out but dared anyone to tell him to put it away. To see the look on their face when he got to say that he had a critically ill boyfriend who he hadn’t seen in three days and that he was going out of his mind with worry. He reached into his bag and brought out a pack of tissues, wiping first his eyes and then his nose. He felt awful. He’d woken up with a cold two days ago and would not risk seeing Alec and making him worse unless he absolutely had to go. Even seeing him through the glass worried him. A cold would be the absolute worst possible thing for Alec now. Alec had been too ill the past few days anyway and was on strict bed rest so hadn’t really wanted many visitors. Him and Magnus had texted a few times, but the replies didn’t always make sense.

Magnus typed into his phone.

-Hey, sweetie. All good? <3-

He looked out across the yard. All the young people running around and shoving one another. Taking their health for granted and not appreciating the luck they had.

The phone buzzed in his hand. -All good. Mom+ Dad talking w/ doc all the time.JACE ANd Iz max coming in soon.wish you were home. Ask me how many lights there are they keep moving -

Magnus thought for a second, trying to decipher the message. He’d gotten quite good at it, but it broke his heart that he had to do it in the first place. Alec’s poor texting was the result of a combination of strong medication, painkillers, exhaustion and his body at war with itself. Alec had always had perfect spelling and punctuation. He had never even used text talk until a few days ago.

Magnus thought about how Alec would have wanted to write the text if he was able to.

-All good. Mom and Dad are talking with the doctor all the time. Jace, Izzy and Max are coming in soon. I wish you were here- He didn’t have a clue what the last bit was about.

He looked at his phone again before sliding it back in his bag. Alec only seemed to be staying awake for a few minutes at a time and he never really replied back. The texting was, sadly, just for Magnus to make sure that Alec was still with them.

He looked in shock as his phone buzzed again, pulling it back out and turning over the screen.

-Hey you. Can you keep a secret for me?-

Magnus texted back nervously.

-Sure. What is it? <3-

He waited for a minute and Alec replied. He looked at his phone and smiled.

-I really really love Magnus. Like a lot. But you can't tell him I said that cuz Ima tel, him when I get to hug him again-

***

Izzy leaned over the front seat and passed one of her CDs to Jace. He looked at the cover and groaned at the difference between his and Izzy’s varying music tastes. After a moment, he put the CD into the slot, turning first to Max and then to his father. Max had fallen asleep on the couch before they had left the house and was sleeping soundly in his car seat, his head bumping slightly against the car door. His hoodie was zipped up over his pyjamas and he was clutching Alec’s old teddy bear. Robert didn’t look as clean shaven as he once had. He’d thrown on a grey t-shirt and jeans in the rush to leave the house that morning. Jace couldn’t blame him though. Izzy was silently texting Magnus from the back seat. She knew that he hadn’t been well, but he had a right to know what was going on. They'd swapped numbers shortly after meeting and had been talking to each other a lot. The nurses and doctors had said numerous times that he was safe to see Alec while he had a cold, as long as he didn’t come into the room, but Magnus hadn't believed them.

Jace rubbed the back of his neck. “Dad? How come Max got a day off school today?”

Robert sighed without taking his eyes off the road. Izzy pulled her belt slightly and sat forward, putting her head between the two front seats. “Dad, come on. You have to talk with us. We have a right to know what’s happening to our brother.”

Robert nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. We just don’t want to frighten you.” He looked in the rear view mirror, just to make sure that Max was still asleep. He sighed. “Okay- Listen, guys. Alec is really not doing well. You still can’t go in because it's even more important now that we find Alec’s donor and get this transplant started, but your mother wanted you," his voice broke slightly, "to see him-“

Jace interrupted, tears threatening to spill over his eyes. “Dad? Is Alec dying?”

Robert pulled the car over. They’d reached the hospital car park. Izzy and Jace sat in silence, waiting for some kind of reaction. Robert leaned forward so his head was on the steering wheel. He put his arms over his head and his shoulders shook violently to match the tears that were running down his face. Jace stared around with his mouth open, barely hearing the sound of the car door opening from the back.

Robert’s door opened, and Izzy wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. She reached her hand out and Jace took it. “Dad, listen. Alec is strong, okay? He would never leave us.” Her voice broke. “He can’t. We'll get through all of this together.”

***

Maryse lay on the bed and gathered Alec against her, his colour matching the white pillow cases behind his head. Maryse sung softly, like she had done when he was small.  When their biggest problems were scraped knees and tiny blue bruises.

“Alec? Don’t go to sleep, okay? Dad is coming in a minute and he’s bringing Jace, and Max, and Izzy. You want to see them, don’t you?” Her voice cracked. “You can’t see them if you fall asleep.”

Alec’s head rolled against his mother’s shoulder. He spoke nearly silently, and his voice was muffled. He licked his lips and spoke slowly. “I’m trying, Mom. I’m just so tired.”

She turned around and reached over to the table. She took her arm back from around Alec and wrung the cloth that was in the bowl. She turned back and wiped it gently over Alec’s face. One of the male nurses who Alec liked had come in yesterday and shaved his face to make him more comfortable. There was a tiny nick on Alec’s cheek and Maryse wiped the cloth over it. She wrung out the cloth again and traced the corner over his dry lips. “There. That’s nice, isn’t it? You’ll feel a bit fresher now. Not so stuffy.”

Alec mumbled, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “Stu-ffy”

A buzzer sounded from outside and Alec’s eyes opened slightly as Maryse helped him to sit up slowly. He always became more alert when he had visitors.

She walked over to the window and wiped her eyes. She pulled the curtain across and grinned widely at Max, who was jumping up and down while waving. He waved with his paper in his hand. “Look, Mom! Tomorrow I can hug Alec again!”

Izzy and Jace watched their mother’s face drop. She regained her composure and held her thumb up to Max, knowing it would be a long while before Alec could come out again. Izzy sometimes wished that Maryse would just have a meltdown at home. It was a horrible thought, but at least it could happen with them all around if it was going to happen. Izzy knew her mom. She was putting on a brave face and bottling all her emotions up. Izzy wished sometimes that she could take care of Alec, even for a little bit, just so her mom could let her guard down and relax for a bit.

They all turned around as the door burst open from the bottom of the corridor. Magnus raced towards them with his backpack on his shoulders. Tears were running down his face as he hurried towards the door. “I need to see him! I need to see that he’s okay!” Robert caught him, and he cried against his chest, struggling in an effort to be let go of. He hit his hand against Robert’s chest and grabbed his t-shirt as he sobbed. “Please-please.”

Robert gathered Magnus against him, running his hand over the back of his head. Izzy had picked up Max and carried him off to the family room. Jace looked over with sad eyes and met Robert’s glance. Maryse was still watching from Alec’s room with her hand over her mouth. Jace nodded sadly and set off to help Izzy.

Robert spoke softly. “Shhh. It’s okay, Magnus. He's still here. He's still with us." He leaned down and spoke gently. "Everyone’s working really hard, and we’ve had a few ideas. Jace wants to come with us to see the doctor but Izzy wants to stay here with Max. If you stay here and talk to Alec for a bit, would you mind going to see them both in the family room? It would really help us out and they like spending time with you.” Magnus moved away and wiped his nose before nodding. He looked through the glass for the first time in three days. Alec’s cheeks were more sunken in and he was resting with his head against his pillow. His breathing looked raspy, even from there. Magnus’ heart ached. Alec had been a glowing light since they met, golden skin and sparkling eyes, even despite his illness. He wondered if they were still sparkling under Alec’s closed eyelids.

Maryse appeared from the door and hugged Magnus tightly. She kissed the top of his head. “Alec might not hear you from his bed. His phone is by his side if you want to call him, it might be easier, or would you like me to go back in and give him mine?” Magnus shook his head, sliding his phone from his pocket. “It’s okay. I’ve got mine.”

Maryse touched his face before taking Robert’s hand. Magnus admired them. Some couples couldn’t handle the pressures that came with a sick child. Robert and Maryse were determined to get through it all of this and come out stronger. Together.

Magnus sat down and turned on his phone screen. He went to the top of his messages and clicked on Alec’s contact. His number was saved as ‘Boyfriend’ and had a heart emoji on the end. The phone rang for a second and Magnus looked on. He put the phone on speaker and set it down on the table, worried when Alec didn’t move for a second. Alec’s hand shifted and slowly picked up the phone by his side. He put it on speaker and balanced it on his shoulder, next to his head.

Alec spoke weakly. “Is your cold better?”

Magnus laughed as his nose ran. He was an absolute wreck. “Alexander, you have been sick for months. You’ve had fifteen rounds of chemotherapy and five of radiotherapy. You’ve been poked, prodded, scanned and x-rayed, all in the space of a month and a half and now you want to know how my cold is?”

Alec smiled and turned his eyes to look at Magnus. He held his hand up weakly and wiggled his fingers. “Well you don’t have to be so dramatic about it. I love you and It’s my job to look after you.”

Magnus pouted his bottom lip. It was so like Alec to be worrying about his petty sniffles. “I love you, too. They’ll get you your donor soon, Alec. Just hang in a little longer. Promise that you’ll hang on for me.”

Alec nodded and closed his eyes again. He mumbled softly before falling asleep. “All good.”

Magnus hung up and looked lovingly at Alec. He whispered to himself. Seeing Alec had put him at ease slightly. “All good.”

Alec began to relax and Magnus excused himself. Maryse had tried to cheer the kids up yesterday, by saying that Alec hadn’t stopped scowling since Magnus had seen him last. She had said that he would start developing a crease in his forehead if Magnus didn’t get better and come and see him. Magnus blew a kiss with his fingertips and went to find Izzy and Max. Alec was smiling and sleeping soundly at last.

***

Izzy looked up from the floor. Max was lying on his stomach and drawing stick figures on the paper that Izzy had found for him. She turned to the door as Magnus walked in, setting his bag down on the floor and crossing his legs next to Izzy. He looked over Max’s shoulder. “What are you drawing there, buddy?”

Max rolled over and handed the drawing to Magnus. Izzy was hugging her knees and sitting against the wall. “It’s the Lightwood family. All seven of us.”

Magnus smiled and handed the drawing back to Max. He carried on colouring with the broken crayons that were in the box. Magnus turned to Izzy. “You didn’t want to go with your parents?”

Izzy shook her head. “I’m sick of hospitals and seeing doctors. Every time I have to talk to one, I want to tie them up and force them to check my blood again. Does it make me feel bad to just want a break for a few days?"

Magnus got up and sat down next to her. They sat in silence with their heads together, listening to Max’s innocent humming, and the sound of the crayons as he drew.

“No. There’s no right way to deal with anything like this because you need to do what is right for you. I hate when someone tells someone else how they should cope with loss or illness. You need to take care of yourself and come to terms with this in your own way. If you need a break, then that’s fine. Jace needed to go with your parents tonight and that’s what’s right for him. You needed to stay here with Max, and that's what's right for you.”

Izzy smiled and hugged Magnus tighter. One positive she could find in all this was that Alec and Magnus had found each other. There was a reason that Max was drawing on a paper with seven figures instead of six.

Izzy hugged him again before moving to sit opposite him. “Thank you.” She smiled shyly.  “You’re pretty wise, Magnus.”

Max walked over and handed Magnus a crayon. “There’s nothing wise about it. I’ve just been unlucky enough to see the bigger picture. I’ve got an inset day tomorrow, so would you like to go somewhere? I’ve got the car keys because my father is away for a few days with work. He didn’t want to go-“ He smiled shyly. ”-but I told him that I had others who would look after me.”

Izzy smiled and ruffled Max’s hair. “That would be nice. We could go to the mall. It’s not too far, but we could make a day of it and get food. We could go clothes or make up shopping.” She laughed, making Magnus blush. “Think of it as pre-brother and sister in law bonding time. We could get to know each other a little better.”

Max got up without warning and plopped himself down in Magnus’ lap. Max was sitting on Magnus’ ankle, but he didn’t mind. He put his arms around Max, to point to the drawing, and looked back to Izzy who was melting at how cute they looked. “That sounds amazing. I would love that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ❤️ This was a tough chapter to write, but I wanted it to be more centered to Izzy. I chose the title for this chapter because I knew everyone would presume it was about Alec. When a child is in hospital, other siblings often go under the radar and have to rely on one another. The title does not mean 'brother's' as in singular. It is an ode to not only Alec's relationship with Izzy, but also her relationship with Jace, Max and Magnus who has quickly become part of the family ❤️


	9. Bitter Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Izzy have a day out shopping while Jace goes to see his brother in hospital.
> 
> "Life doesn't require that we be the best, only that we try our best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 9:[ "East."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tCSuduIXwQ&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=11&t=0s)

The kitchen filled with the sounds of sizzling as Jace poured the last of the batter into the pan. It had taken him about ten goes over the last month to get them to a standard that were actually edible. He always made way too many and had told anyone who came by to help themselves if food was out on the table. Maryse had given him ingredient quantities for the six of them who lived in the house and he hadn’t quite worked out how to whittle it down yet.

He piled the last pancake onto the already heaped plate. He hated waking up early and he was still half dazed, as well as being half dressed. He’d eaten earlier but still had his pyjama top on. He had jeans on instead of pyjama bottoms, but the button was undone, and he hadn’t done his belt up. His bare feet made pattering noises on the cold tiles and walked over and put the plate on the table, leaning down to the cupboard to bring out a few smaller plates.

Robert's friend had offered to take him to the hospital, so he had left early that morning. Apparently, Alec had had a really shaky night and Jace had sat downstairs for hours, unable to sleep while with his father spoke on the phone. Maryse hadn't slept properly in days but had insisted on being there. There had been a few tense moments where Maryse had needed to leave the phone, alarms going off and nurses and doctors rushing around to see to Alec. She'd been on the verge a few times of telling Robert to get all of the kids up quickly and bring them to the hospital. 

Yawning to himself in the process, Jace had needed to get up early and make breakfast. His dad had said that Jace could use the car and take them all to get breakfast at the local fast food joint. Jace loved nothing more than eating out for breakfast, but it would have meant waking Max up even earlier, and he needed the sleep. He hadn’t minded making breakfast for the past few days. Izzy was a horrific cook and wasn’t trusted with anything more than a ham sandwich. Besides, it made Jace feel like a dad, which he liked. He’d never thought of that before. He didn’t know if he would be a good dad, but he was trying his best to be a good brother and a good son.

He made his way up the stairs. Izzy was way better with working the washing machine than he was, and she’d done a bunch of laundry for their mom. On the shelf, on the upstairs landing, was a pile of neatly folded clothes. He didn’t want Izzy doing too much and tiring herself but she had said that she liked the order of cleaning, ironing, folding the clothes and then putting them away. She'd apparently forgotten the last part.

Jace flicked through the pile, lifting up one of his black t-shirts. He pulled his pyjama top over his head, before doing up his jeans and his belt. He dropped his pyjama top onto the floor and held up the t-shirt. After a moment of thought, he threw it back onto the pile and left his pyjama top next to it, going into the bathroom without a shirt on. He put a blob of toothpaste onto his tooth brush and stared at his reflection in the mirror above the sink. Max’s toothbrush had a suction cup on the end and was stuck to the mirror. Jace started brushing his teeth as he looked in the mirror and turned to get a better view of his side. He’d lost a little weight but hadn’t been to the gym lately as much as he would have liked. He moved his toothbrush to the other side and carried on brushing as he bent to look in the cabinet under the sink, pulling out a sheet of card to looked over it before placing it back. In an effort to keep Max healthy and to a routine, he’d made a chart like Alec’s for Max to mark off each time he brushed his teeth. He’d promised Max that he’d treat him if he got all his stars for the week.

He turned to the bath and put the plug in, before turning the taps on. The sound of flowing water filled the room and he went to wash out his mouth. Finally, he turned back to the bath, poured some bubble bath in and walked across the hall, into Alec’s room. The bed was neatly made, and the room was tidy. It looked like he had just stepped out and would be back any minute. Jace drew back the curtains and opened the window. Taking a glance towards the door first, he turned to Alec’s dresser and crouched down, opening the bottom draw and pulling out one of Alec’s t-shirts, neatly folded in a pile. He bunched it up and gathered it against his face, taking in the scent. He pulled it over his head and looked at himself in Alec’s mirror. It wasn’t a perfect fit, but it was what he needed for today.

***

As the room was filled with light, Max threw his arms over his head.

“Jaaaace. It’s too earrrlyyyy.”

Jace threw back the blanket and tickled Max’s ribs. He wiggled and squirmed, still pretending to be asleep with his pillow over his head. Jace scooped him up easily and tossed him onto the middle of the bed, Max now laying on his back and hugging the teddy that Alec had given him.

Jace sat down on the edge of the bed and poked Max’s side. “Get up, Lazy. Your pancakes are going to get cold. I have to drop you at your friend’s house, so I can take clothes in for Mom.” He dug his head into Max’s stomach, making him screech as he joked. “Woooah! Yep, you definitely need a bath, smelly head. Move your butt.”

Max picked up his pillow and laughed as he hit it over Jace’s head. “You’re the smelly head.”

Jace and Max both looked up as Izzy walked into the room. She was already dressed and was brushing her hair. “Jace, I turned off the taps. If you put Max in the bath now, his food is going to go cold.” Jace sat back as Max ran to the end of the bed and jumped into Izzy’s arms. She tossed her brush onto the bed and swung Max around, standing him on the bed as he hugged her around the waist.

Jace leaned back on his elbows. “I know that, so HA! I didn’t screw everything up. He can have his pancakes and then go in the bath." He waved his hand dismissively. "Be gone and turn the taps back on!”

Izzy crossed her arms and laughed sarcastically. “And what about when he comes back from breakfast and his bath has gone cold?” Jace’s face dropped. He hadn’t thought of that. She lifted Max down to the floor. “Go and see if we have had any mail yet.” Max smiled at being given a task and ran out of the room. Jace had his head in his hands. It had meant to be a simple joke, but she knew she had upset him.

“Jace, I’m sorry. You’re doing an amazing job. I didn’t mean it. Honest.”

Jace hung his head. “It’s okay. I just want to make Mom and Dad proud. I’m, I'm trying my best, Iz.”

She sat down on the bed and hugged Jace against her, shaking his shoulders. He smelt like Alec. “You ARE, Jace! You're doing an amazing job! You’re the one keeping us all together! We would have starved a long time ago if it wasn’t for your spaghetti and microwave pizzas!”

Jace laughed. “You really think so?” She nodded. The doorbell rang, and she kissed Jace’s head before standing up. Jace wiped his head with his arm. “Errgh, don’t do that!”

Izzy laughed as she walked from the room and bounded down the stairs. She had heard the front door click from upstairs, so she would have to have a word with Max again. She’d told him not to open the door unless her or Jace were with him. She looked into the hall and the living room before pausing in the kitchen door. She leaned against the frame and tried not to cry.

Magnus was standing in the kitchen with Max on his hip. He had Max’s plate with race cars on it, in his hand, and was putting pancakes on it with his back to her. Max had his legs wrapped around Magnus' waist and was resting his head on his shoulder. His little arms were around Magnus’ neck and Magnus was singing quietly as he rocked back and forth. It was a soft and gentle tune, clear and beautiful, in a language that she didn’t know.

Izzy smiled. Still leaning against the door. “Good morning, Magnus.”

Magnus stopped singing and turned around quickly. “Oh. Good morning! I was just helping Max get some food. I hope that’s okay.” Magnus set Max down and he scrambled to sit in his favourite chair. He grabbed the plate from the side and ruffled Max’s hair as he set it down.

Izzy looked over. She’d been fighting all week to get both Max and Jace to eat more fruit, and he was hungrily tucking into the plate. Magnus had used a knife to carve a load of strawberries into roses. “Of course. We said that you’re always welcome here.” She paused and sat down, gesturing to Max, who was skewering a strawberry with a plastic fork. “Where did you learn to do that?”

Magnus passed her a plate. “I missed a lot of school while I was ill, and got held back, so while I had to wait for the new school year after I got better, I took some classes at the local college, Max- slow down-” Max was cramming pancakes and strawberries into his mouth. “-and one of them was a child development class. They showed us different ways to get kids excited about food by using colour and different shapes.”

By the time Izzy had put a few on her plate, Max was already finished. “That’s amazing. You’ll have to show me some of that-”

Jace appeared in the door with his mobile in his hand. He walked over to the table and eyed up the selection of fruit. He looked on in mild disgust and went to grab a biscuit from the jar on the counter.

Magnus winked at Izzy. “No, I don’t think Jace would want any of our strawberries anyway but I think they’re too pretty to share.” Jace dropped the biscuit and walked over to look at the table again before he spoke.

“Max, you done?” He moved closer to the table. “Yep? Good. Dad just called, and they want me to go down the hospital now, for some reason, so we’ll have to go in a minute. You can have a bath tonight.” He picked up a strawberry and took a bite as Izzy spoke.

“Is everything okay?”

Jace started on the second and spoke with it in his mouth. He nodded. “Yeah. It won’t be for long. I’ll ring if Mom and Dad need you there.”

Max jumped down from the table and ran past Jace. He had laid out clothes and as Max ran upstairs to get dressed, Jace rolled up a pancake and stuffed it in his mouth. It was followed with another two strawberries and he followed behind.

Izzy got up to wash her plate. “You are seriously going to have to show me how to do that! That was amazing!” She laughed. “You’re going to make a great dad!”

She looked on in concern when Magnus didn’t reply. She knew he loved kids from the way he was with Max. He gestured for her to sit opposite him.

“Oh, Magnus. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have presumed that you wanted kids. Not everyone-”

“I do- I do want kids.”

Izzy sat down and Magnus spoke. “I’ll tell you something that only me and my father know. I mean others know about it generally, but no one knows about me. It’s very personal, and probably a little icky, and you definitely don’t have to talk about it with me if you don’t want to-“

Izzy put her hands over Magnus’. “Magnus. I’m here for you if you want to talk about anything. I won’t judge you for anything. Ever. And I’m studying biology so I’m not squeamish about anything.”

Magnus sighed and nodded, thinking back to when he went to the mall and saw those children, or when he first met Max and he had wrapped his arms around Magnus' legs. “Basically, having chemo or radiotherapy can cause no end of problems, even after treatment is finished. It’s the price you pay for surviving it I guess. Well I’m trying to be subtle here but if you’re a teen, usually they take…samples from you, to save for later. In case the chemo messes with you-”

Izzy noticed that he was struggling for words. “You can’t have kids, can you?” Magnus shook his head and teared up. Izzy pulled up a chair next to him and put her arm over his shoulder. “I am so, so sorry, Magnus. I didn’t know.”

Magnus wiped his eyes. “It’s okay. Usually they take the samples when you go in and then they can be frozen for later. If they have to rush you in and start chemo or radiotherapy straight away, then they can’t always do it. But hey, I’m still here! So I can't really complain.” They sat in silence for several moments, before he stood up and grabbed his keys off the table. “We better get going-”

Izzy grabbed his sleeve. “Are you sure you’re okay? You know you can talk to me about anything. Any time.”

Magnus smiled. “Yes, I’m feeling better now that someone knows. There are other options anyway. I mean I’m bi. I’d always thought that I could be a donor if I ended up with a guy, but I could always adopt. You just have to keep finding the positives.”

***

Magnus pulled the car up to the curb outside his house. “Sorry about going out of the way. You can come in for a minute, if you’d like.”

Izzy pulled the door handle and jumped out. It was a nice car and Magnus’ house was huge. She wondered what his dad did for a living.

He unlocked the front door which lead into an open planned downstairs. The house was very modern and there were sofas in a square around a large flat screen TV. Magnus gestured to the living area. "Sit down if you want. I forgot to take my medication before I left this morning."

Izzy sat modestly, on the edge of a chair for a second, and Magnus returned, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “You're lucky that I can drive. If I have another bad seizure, I’ll have to wait another year to be able to drive again. You have a license?”

Izzy looked up at him. “Yeah. But Mom and Dad don’t let me drive their car for some reason. Why?”

***

Izzy pulled the car into the mall parking area and turned off the engine. “That was amazing! You have to let me do that again sometime! I am pumped!! Let’s go shopping!” She pulled the keys from the ignition and opened her door. Magnus heard her shout as he clutched the passenger seat from the back, looking like a cartoon cat that had hit the ceiling.

“Come on, Magnus! Hurry up!”

***

Jace waved to Max from the car. His friend’s mom was really good with him and helped out Maryse a lot. The hospital was only around the corner, but he didn’t like being alone while driving. It gave him too much time to think.

He looked over to the passenger seat. Max had climbed over for a few minutes before going in and he had left his teddy in the front. Jace picked it up and hugged it to his chest. He thought to himself, vaguely remembering being carried into the Lightwood’s house for the first time. He remembered sitting in the back seat of a car and then being brought to his new house. He had been carried inside and hugged, given a place at the table, and been kissed goodnight, as if he had always been there. He had joined Maryse and Robert’s house as a grieving and broken child and had grown into a strong young man, never doubting or questioning the love that he had been unconditionally offered. The Lightwood’s had literally saved him from his own self destruction and he adored them for it.

He set the teddy back down and reached over to put the belt over it. He had cried his first night with the Lightwoods and Alec had toddled in, trailing his blanket behind him. Jace had crawled back on his new bed in fear, unable to see Alec in the dark. His blanket was pulled from his face and Alec had shown a goofy grin and held out his favourite teddy bear for him to have. Jace had never had one before but hadn’t wanted to take it, as he hadn’t seen Alec without it yet. Maryse had found them in the morning, curled up together with the teddy between them. Now it belonged to Max.

He turned the wheel and brought the car around the corner. He patted the teddy next to him, speaking in the most macho voice he could muster. “Well, Mr. Snuggle bump, let’s see what happens today.”

***

“Oh my God, Izzy, you have to try this!”

Izzy sat opposite Magnus who had a mouthful of noodles. “I’ll pass. They don't really go with sushi. Do you want some though?” She held out the container.

Magnus shook his head and set his noodles down. “No, thank you. I haven’t eaten fish since I sat down on my kitchen table with a fish taco and my fish blinked at me in horror. I swear I saw him cry.”

Izzy laughed. “What’s it called?”

Magnus ate another mouthful. “Fish.”

“Yes. What’s it called?”

Magnus cracked up. “No, he’s called Fish.” Izzy laughed as he held his hand up. “I got him when my neighbour moved. The other fish had died a few weeks before and I still haven’t got around to getting another.”

Izzy gathered up the now empty food containers. “That’s sad, but I’ll come with you sometime if you want to get another. You ready to do some shopping now?”

Magnus grabbed his bag and stood up. He’d been neglecting to look after himself lately and had forgotten to eat the night before. Between the combination of getting up early and then the near-death car experience, he had felt slightly faint, so Izzy had suggested they get food first.

Their first stop was a footwear store, not far away. Neither of them bought anything, but both of them spent a good amount of time parading up and down the shop with varying shoes of different heights while they compared them

Several shops later, Izzy pulled Magnus into one of the designer stores. They spoke in ridiculous accents as they were offered tiny sandwiches and cakes. Izzy tried on various ball gowns that she presumed cost more than all her life savings put together.

After that, they spent well over an hour in the makeup shop. Izzy had wanted to try contour, but didn't know where to start. Magnus didn't use it much but recommended one that he knew was good. Izzy traced his eyes with eye shadow and helped him pick out a few different polishes. 

Their next stop was the sweet store. Magnus had wanted to buy something for Alec while him and Izzy were out, but he didn’t have a clue what. They didn’t share the same clothes sense and Magnus didn’t know how long it would be until he would be eating things properly again. Izzy excused herself to pick out a giant lolly for Max that she knew Jace would kill her for if he saw it. Magnus said he was going in the shop opposite and they agreed to meet back outside in ten minutes.

Izzy reached for a lolly near the top. Multiple packets fell off the wall and she bent down to pick them up. She gathered several in her hands and looked in front to see a boy in a candy striped shirt. He was trying to pick them up at the same time and dropped half each time he picked some up. Who the hell did he think she was? She wasn’t a damsel in distress by any means. She picked up the last packet and they both stood up at the same time, hitting their heads together. She rubbed her forehead and handed him the other packets, as he laughed and tried to compose himself. “Sorry about that.”

He rubbed his eyes. “No, it’s okay.”

Izzy held up the heart shaped lolly. “Can I pay for this?”

The boy nodded nervously as he walked her to the till. He ran it through and Izzy passed him a five dollar bill. He put the lolly into a paper bag and pushed it forward. “Buying it for someone special?” Izzy smiled, and his face dropped a little. Guys were usually a lot more forward with her and definitely not this nervous.

She caught his expression and replied quickly. “Oh, no. It’s for my little brother. My older brother is in hospital and I’m helping to look after him- my little brother, not my older brother-” She looked at her phone. She was supposed to be meeting Magnus by now. She slid the lolly into her bag and zipped it up.

The boy waved shyly. "I hope he feels better soon."

Izzy waved sadly as she hurried out of the store. “Me too. It was nice meeting you. Sorry again for knocking your glasses off your face.”

***

Maryse sat down opposite Robert in the cafeteria. She’d been up with Alec, who had been violently sick all night, and hadn’t slept. Jace was ‘sitting’ with him upstairs but Alec was nearly completely unresponsive, if not for his condition then through the heavy drugs and pain relief that was being pumped through him. Jace was basically talking to his own reflection.

She took a sip of her coffee and brushed her hair back. “This coffee is so good.”

Robert saw the tiredness that was set into Maryse’s face and rested his hand on top of hers. They were on high alert while tests were being done on Alec, upstairs. They didn’t know if the next call would be about a donor or to tell them they needed to rush back because Alec had taken a turn for the worse. “You’re doing amazing, Maryse. We couldn’t have gotten through this without you.”

Maryse smiled sadly into her cup and set it down. “I didn’t have much choice. I don’t drive and you were earning more than me. I did what I had to for the family and so did you-”

Robert’s phone buzzed on the table and he turned it over as Maryse eyes went wide.

He put it to his ear and listened to the voice at the other end. He stood up and gestured for Maryse to come quickly. “It's Alec's doctor. He says that we need to go and see him right now. Hurry.”

***

Izzy walked out of the store. Magnus had been waiting for a bit on the bench and was listening to music through his headphones. “Hey. What took so long?” The stores will be closing in a minute.”

Izzy put her hands against her head. “Shoot! I was supposed to go and grab a few new t-shirts for Max! I lost track of time!”

Magnus grabbed her bags from her hand. The store that sold kids clothes was only a little further down. His phone buzzed, and he absentmindedly pressed the receiving button on his headphones. “Go and get them and I’ll meet you back here in a minute.”

Izzy ran off down the courtyard. Max was growing quickly and several of his shirts were getting too short on him. It wouldn’t be long until he would be stealing clothes from his brothers. Her sweet and innocent baby brother wouldn’t stay little for long. She raced ahead, in a slight jog, and turned the corner before stopping in her tracks. Something was telling her to go back, realising Magnus had answered the phone. She bit her lip and looked at the store before changing her mind and walking back around the corner.

Magnus was on his knees.

She raced back towards him without her feet touching the floor. Magnus was staring at the ground with his mouth open. He looked at her with a numb expression, trying to stem the flow of tears that was already falling down his face. He choked to get his words out. “Iz. Umm... That was your parents-” The bags were dropped around him and tears ran down his face as his phone slid with a bump to the floor. She wrapped her arms around him and time stood still. His shoulders shook as he cried with his hands over his eyes, and the darkening courtyard grew ever darker as she hugged him tightly. Both of them sobbed together. Magnus broke apart from Izzy's grip and as she sunk back to her knees, he made a growling sound with his palms against his eyes. Izzy sat collapsed on the floor, numb to everything that was going on around them. What would she tell Max. He was so little. How could she even begin to expl-

“Iz. They’ve got a match.”

Izzy put her hands to her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks. She choked out one word. “What?”

Magnus was crying and grinning at the same time. He sat back and croaked with a shaky breath. “They’ve done it. They’re taking the donor to surgery now and they’re going to get the bone marrow. They did it, Iz. We're going to get him back. I know it.”

Izzy was ecstatic. They both stood up and they hugged and screamed while jumping up and down. They didn’t care if anyone saw them. They’d just been given the best news in the world.

Izzy tried to wipe her eyes as they held onto each other's hands. “I knew they were testing different people, but it was such a long shot. We just have to hope that Alec gets through it now. AHHH, I can’t believe it, Magnus. Do they know who the match is?”

Magnus put his hands on either side of his cheeks.

He chuckled as he wiped his nose. “Yeah, they do actually. It’s Jace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! ❤️ 😅 I've waited so, so long to write this chapter and I hope you liked it. I've added a link on the process of extracting bone marrow if you want to check it out. The link is[ here.](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stem-cell-transplant/what-happens/) It does mention that tests on the donor need to be started five days prior to the extraction. It will go into it and explain in the next chapter.


	10. Two of a Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec receives a very special gift from his brother.
> 
> "Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 10:[ "Brother."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6TXPNybrmk&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=13&t=0s)

The sun had gone down by the time Izzy and Magnus had reached the hospital. They held hands as they raced up the steps together and into the hospital entrance. Magnus paused in the doorway and handed Izzy’s bag to her. She had run back into the house, on the way and picked up some spare clothes and various other things. Maryse and Robert had rung the mom of Max’s friend, so he was staying there for the night. Izzy double checked her bag quickly, as they walked. She now had two brothers in the hospital and wasn’t leaving unless she was physically dragged. She would sleep on a chair in the family room if she had to.

Magnus stopped walking. “Iz. Go on ahead a minute. I’m out of breath.”

She looked over in concern. “Are you okay?”

Magnus leaned against the corridor wall. “Yes-” He gestured for Izzy to go. “I’m fine. I’ll catch up in a minute.” Izzy raced on ahead, trying to remember the code to get into Alec’s ward.

Magnus watched her go and opened the door that was next to him. He’d been here on occasion to shout his anger at the hand he had been dealt. He hadn’t told Alec, but before his diagnosis, him and his father had gone to church every Sunday. His dad still continued to go, now and then, but Magnus had lost his faith along the way. He opened the second door that led into the hospital chapel. It was a beautiful place filled with warm light and comforting words if you chose to ask for it. He walked to the front and sat down on the carpet. He stared up at the large cross on the wall.

He closed his eyes.

 _Please. If there’s anyone up there, please listen to me. I’m so sorry that I lost my trust in you. I was wrong. Punish me if you must but all I’m asking is that you do this one thing for me. I promise that I’ll find my faith again-_ He sniffled, and his teary eyes made the candles in front of him look like smudged dots. _Listen- I thought my life was over until a few months ago. I couldn’t cope with the fact that I was so miserable, even though I had seen so many of my damn friends fade away in front of me, I couldn’t be grateful that I had lived even though I wanted to live a good life to make up for the life they lost. I had no purpose and nothing to look forward to-_ He sniffed and laughed. _-and then you gave me Alexander. Beautiful and sweet Alexander, with his bright eyes and even sweeter smile. He changed everything for me, and I can’t live without him now. I won’t. Please, God, if you are listening. Please just let Alec accept Jace’s cells and get better. Please. We can deal with everything else afterwards, but I need him- I need him to get through tonight and come back to me._ His voice shook as he wiped his eyes. _I love him so much and I promise to tell him that, every single day, if you just help us get through this._

***

Robert brushed his hand over Jace’s hair. He whispered softly as they watched the anaesthetist prepare the things he needed. “Are you frightened?” Jace shook his head. He was absolutely petrified. Robert patted his hand and looked up at the nurse who was walking over to the bed. “I’m so proud of you, Jace. We all are.”

The nurse walked over and spoke in a sweet voice. “Okay. We’ll be ready to put you to sleep in a minute, Jace. It’s standard procedure to tell you what we’re going to do, just to double check everything, if that’s okay.” Jace nodded. “As you know, what we are doing today is preforming a bone marrow extraction. You have two types of bone marrow: red and yellow. Yellow bone marrow is older and is found in the length of your arms and legs. Red bone marrow is what we’ll be taking from you. It is found in the ends of your bones, the vertebrae of the back and the hip bone. In a minute, we will be putting you under anaesthetic. It will take about an hour to carry out and we’ll use long needles to withdraw liquid bone marrow from both sides of the back of your pelvic bone. It will then be taken upstairs for your brother and you’ll be taken to the ward for observation. Okay?”

Jace nodded. “Will it hurt?”

“The procedure won't, no. You’ll be asleep the whole time. You’ll probably be a little sore afterwards, but we’ll take good care of you. It  usually takes around twenty days to completely recover.”

The anaesthetist walked over and set his tray down. “Are you ready?”

Jace nodded as a nurse moved him to lie flat. A mask was placed over his face and as he stared up at the ceiling, he closed his eyes and reached for Robert’s hand. 

He heard Robert’s voice as he was pulled under. “Be brave, Jace.”

***

Alec coughed and spluttered as one of his nurses held a bowl under his head, shaking and struggling to hold himself up.

Maryse put her hand on the top of his head and spoke softly as she held out a cup with a straw. Alec took a sip to wash his mouth out before spitting it into the bowl. He had been feeling better today and had tried to eat some ice cream. He didn’t think he’d be trying it again any time soon. “Shh. It’s okay, sweetheart. You’ll feel better now.”

Alec sat back and wiped his mouth as he turned to his nurse. “Why are my hands shaking? God, I hate this.”

The nurse put the temperature probe into his ear and it clicked once. “It’s hard to say. It’s probably a combination of dehydration, low blood pressure and your medication.”

Alec sat back as Maryse put a cloth on his head. “Oh. Is that all?! Well that’s fantastic!”

Maryse tilted her head on her shoulder. “Please excuse him. He’s grumpy because he hasn’t spoken to his boyfriend today.”

The nurse smiled as she poked Alec’s arm. “Ooooh, Alec. You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend!”

Alec went bright red and hid behind his hands.

The card reader on the door beeped and there was a knock. A nurse in scrubs walked in with a polystyrene box. Maryse put her hands on her face. “Is that it!?”

The nurse nodded as she set it down on the table. “Sure is. Jace has just woken up and his surgery went well. There were no complications and he’s in recoveryo. Your husband is with him. He had a really good amount of bone marrow actually. Quite impressive. We’ll bring him up to the ward, later.”

Maryse smiled as she watched Alec’s nurse, who had started to unpack the box. “Thank you so much.”

The woman in scrubs waved. “Good luck, Alec. I’ll drop in with your brother and father and tell them that you’ve got it.”

She walked out and closed the door behind her.

Maryse walked over to look in the box. The nurse was preparing the donation and injecting something into the top. “That’s amazing. I didn’t know what to expect, but it looks just like blood.”

Alec crossed his arms. “They said this morning that there’s still a chance I could reject it. They said that I’m going to have to take more medication to try and stop it happening-” He watched as the nurse walked over with the bag of cells. “-Jace would never let me hear the end of it if I rejected it.”

Maryse looked down at her feet. She didn’t want to hear about Alec rejecting it. Jace would be the least of his problems if he did.

The nurse hung up the bag. “Do you mind undoing your shirt, so I can prepare your port?”

Alec started unbuttoning his pyjama top and Maryse put her hand on his shoulder. “We’ve got to fatten you up again once this takes-”

There was a buzz on the intercom outside, as the nurse finished cleaning the port. Maryse looked to Alec. “It’s probably your dad. Do you mind if I open the curtains?”

Alec threw his head back, laughing softly. “Mom, it’s fine. It’s not like I care about dad seeing me with my top open.”

Maryse peeked through the curtain and laughed. “It’s actually Izzy and Magnus.”

Alec screeched as he fought to do up his buttons on his shirt. “Hang on! I’m not decent! Don’t open the curtain!”

***

Jace put his hands on his waist and groaned.

He felt a hand across his forehead. “Hey. It’s Dad. Everything went well.”

His eyes fluttered open and then shut again. “They got it?”

Robert smiled over him. "Jace, you’re an absolute lifesaver. Yep, they’re taking it up to Alec, now.”

Jace nodded slightly. There was a tube or something stuck under his leg. He whispered, barely a murmur as he chuckled and went back to sleep. “Good. Tell him he can’t ever complain again about me not sharing with him.”

***

Izzy waved from the window, laughing as Magnus jumped up and down. ”Alexandeeerrrr! Can I come in and see you now?”

Alec smiled and pointed to the nurse that was in the room. “She’s the nasty lady who is keeping us apart.”

The nurse laughed as she put her hands on her hips. “Doctor’s rules, not mine! It’s up to Alec to accept the cells.”

Izzy looked in, as the nurse attached the bag to Alec’s port. “Alec, I swear! Me and Jace will kick your ass if you don’t accept it!”

Alec stuck his tongue out. “Good luck! You can’t get in without a card!”

Maryse startled as she looked to the side. Magnus had his hands and the side of his face against the glass door. “Maryyyssseee. You’ll let me in, won’t you?”

She laughed as the nurse leaned over and whispered to Alec. She gasped, mockingly, and winked, poking him in his arm. “Is that the boyfriend?”

Alec wiggled his eyebrows. “Dishy, huh?”

Maryse laughed, reminding Alec that she was sitting right there. “Sorry, Magnus! I’ll make it up to you! My purse is on the table. Get me something from the vending machine and get something for yourself and Izzy.”

Magnus sighed, walking away from the door. Maryse knew he had a soft spot for candy.

The nurse pulled a chair over and sat down next to Alec. “What a sweetheart-”

After a moment, Izzy popped up again in the window. “Mom! It didn’t fall, and Magnus is kicking the vending machine!” Maryse rolled her eyes. She pulled off her apron and latex gloves and went out of the door.

The nurse patted Alec’s hands. “Magnus is sweet. Have you been dating for long?”

Alec shook his head. “I met him downstairs when I started treatment. It’s not a passing thing though-”

The nurse smiled as she stood up and squeezed the bag on the drip stand. “I can tell. That look in both your eyes… I think he’ll break the door down soon, so you better get better quickly.”

Alec smiled and played with the corner of his blanket. “Yeah, I'd better. I’d do the same to get to him though.”

She smiled and tilted her head. “You really love him, don’t you?”

Alec lifted his head, meeting her eyes. He spoke sweetly. “Yes. I really do.”

***

Maryse walked into the room. Jace had been moved onto the ward and was currently sitting up in his bed and eating toast. She rushed over and hugged him, making him wince slightly. “Sorry, Jace! How are you feeling? I am so proud of you for helping Alec.”

“Not bad actually. A little tired. They said that they’ll wheel me to see Alec tomorrow, but I’ll walk.” Maryse met Robert’s eyes and hid a smile. There was no way that Jace would be walking there.

Maryse pulled over the chair. “The drip just finished. We just have to wait and see now. It’ll be a long road. He’ll have to accept it and then start chemo again, but the doctors are being hopeful. You saved your brother’s life, Jace.”

Jace fiddled with the cannula in his hand. “It was nothing. He would have done it for me-”

Magnus and Izzy ran into the room and Maryse held her hand out to stop them jumping on him. “Woah, guys. He’s still sore.”

They sat down on either side of the bed. The cubicle was getting quite crowded and Robert knew that the nurses wouldn’t like too many people around. He held his hand out to Maryse. “Let’s go and see Alec. We need to phone and see how Max is doing, anyway.”

They left the cubicle, leaving just the three of them. Izzy reached into her pocket and tossed a candy bar to Jace. “Don’t tell Mom. She’s convinced Dad to only be giving you healthy things when you get home, to get your strength back.” She paused. “How long were you planning this, Jace?”

Jace gestured to the cup on the table and Izzy passed it to him. He took a sip and passed it back. “Five days ago…”

Magnus shouted. “Five days!? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“We all agreed. We didn’t want to get your hopes up. It was actually Max’s idea. Dad was typing an email to our head teacher about asking anyone in school if they wanted to be tested. Max heard Dad say that the odds were really low of finding a random match and Max said that I had the same chance as anyone in school.”

Magnus shook his head. “That’s amazing. Smart kid. So, they started testing you then?”

Jace nodded. “Yep. Every time that I went with Mom and Dad, they were doing more tests. Alec had started getting worse, so they decided yesterday to go for it. It was why they called me in in the morning.”

Izzy laughed. “You sneaky thing. I guess we’ll have to treat Max somehow. I’m going to see Mom and Dad. See you in a minute.”

She walked out, leaving the two boys. Magnus shifted slightly. “Jace, thank you-”

“Don’t mention it-”

“-No, let me speak. You have no idea how amazing it was for you to do this.” He looked down and played with his sleeve. “I haven’t been with your brother for long, but I don’t plan on letting him go. I know this is till going to be a long road, but I really want to make him happy. I want to know everything about him and take him places. I want to show him the world and all the wonders that come with it.”

Jace smiled and patted the space next to him. “Sit here.” Magnus looked confused as he moved over. Jace growled, jokingly, and threw his arm around Magnus’ neck as he roughed up his hair.

Magnus screeched, and several ‘shushes’ came from behind the curtain. Jace smiled and let him go. “I’d give you some sentimental shit about give you my blessing to be with my brother, but I know that you guys would stay together with or without my or anyone else’s approval. So, I’ll do something else for you instead. Go down to the shop and grab us some drinks and some snacks. Come back here and I’ll show you Alec’s favourite shows on my laptop. I’ll tell you what he likes, his favourite foods, his dream holiday. I’ll tell you all about him. How about it?”

Magnus smiled. “You’d do that for me?”

Jace nodded. “That’s what brothers are for. Let’s do this.”

So that's what they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 Nothing to add here, other than just to thank you for the support both on here and twitter. Try and join the blood donor registry if you can, or encourage someone else to <3


	11. From Me to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has spent the night at the hospital. Robert is bringing Max to see his family and Magnus' father finds out about Alec.
> 
> "The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 11:[ "Find My Way Back."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo78yaLDOHs&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=13&t=0s)

Robert clicked Max’s seat belt and adjusted it, so it wouldn’t rub against his neck.

“Dad? Is Alec feeling better?”

Robert sat down and turned the keys in the ignition. He looked in the rear view mirror and waved as he pulled out of the drive. “Not today. He’s sleeping. The special blood from Jace might make him sick for a little while. He has to get used to it being in his body.”

Max fiddled with a bottle lid that he had found on the seat. “Does Jace miss the special blood that they took from him?”

Robert turned the steering wheel. “You’ll have to ask him. He will make more though. It just takes a little while.”

Max paused. “Did he miss me when I stayed in Tavvy’s house last night?”

“I bet he did. We’re going to see him now. Did you and Tavvy behave for Andrew and Eleanor?”

Max nodded. “Yeah. Tavvy has lots more brothers and sisters than I do… Is Mommy with Jace or with Alec?”

“Mommy is with Alec. His room has to be really clean, so he doesn’t get sicker. The fewer people who go into Alec’s room, the better, so Mommy is staying with him until he is well enough to come out.”

“Can Alec and Jace come home soon?”

Robert rolled his head. The children’s counsellor had told them to answer as many of Max’s questions as they could. He saw the world differently and it was his way of understanding things that didn’t make sense to him. “Jace should be able to come home in a week. He’s also very sleepy today, so he might not want to talk much. They took the stuff for Alec from the bottom of his back, so he’s going to be sore for a while. I don’t know about Alec. It depends on how he reacts to the donation.”

Max thought for a second and looked out the window. “Where’s Izzy and Magnus?”

***

Magnus rolled over and rubbed his eyes. He’d fallen asleep awkwardly on the couch in the family room. He groaned and shook out his arm, realising he had been woken because of a tap on his shoulder. He spoke groggily as he rubbed his eyes. “Oh, Father. What are you doing here?”

Asmodeus put his hand on his son’s arm. “I’ve been worried sick. I got home, and you weren’t there. I phoned the hospital and asked to speak to Catarina in case you had been brought in. She said it wasn’t her place to say why but you were safe and in the family room.” He pointed to Izzy, who was sleeping in the chair. “Have you been sneaking in here with this girl or something?”

Magnus put his hands over his face. “Father. No. No. No. No. NO. Can we talk outside?” Asmodeus gestured with his hand out flat and Magnus followed. He sat down on the bench in the hallway. “Father, I can explain.”

“Magnus, I haven’t seen you in weeks. You’re always running off and getting in late. I nearly lost you once. More than once-”

Magnus rubbed his face and placed his hands over his fathers’. “I know. Father, I’m sorry I haven’t been home much-”

“Have you started drinking again?”

“No...” He paused, holding back what he wanted to say. “Okay, here goes. I’ve been dating someone... kind of. I am dating someone…”

Asmodeus turned his head. “I don’t understand…”

Magnus sighed. “I should’ve told you what was... He’s got cancer, Father. Leukaemia. He’s on the isolation ward across the hall because he had a bone marrow transplant last night.” He choked up. “I nearly lost him, Father. He’s really ill.”

Asmodeus froze and spoke quietly. “…You have a boyfriend?”

Magnus stood up. “If you have a problem with that-”

Asmodeus stood up slowly and chuckled once. He shook his head. “I should’ve known. You hate hospitals. You never would have been here without good reason-”

Magnus scowled and turned his back to his father. “I said. Do. You. Have a problem with that?! Because I have to tell you- I don’t!-”

Asmodeus shut his eyes and rubbed his temple with his index finger. “And this boyfriend... you… care for him...?”

Magnus crossed his arms. “No, Father-" Asmodeus looked up. "-I absolutely love him.”

Asmodeus walked over slowly-

-and wrapped his arms around his son.

Magnus’ breath caught in his chest, as his father hugged him.

“My son. I am happy for you-” He let Magnus go and put his hands on his shoulders. “I only wish that you had told me. You’ve been through so much and all I care about is your happiness. I know we’ve had our disagreements, but you are my son and I love and support you. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you think otherwise.”

***

Maryse went onto her knees in the hospital entrance and Max ran into her arms. “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!”

Maryse scooped Max up and swung him around. “Oh, my beautiful baby boy! Momma has missed you so much!”

Max clung to Maryse tightly, his little hands digging in the back of her hair. She leaned around Max and Robert kissed her quickly. “Is everything okay with everyone? Spend some time with Max and then go home for a bit, Maryse, and get some sleep.”

Maryse nodded affectionately. Everything was manic at the moment and she was exhausted. She’d just come back from seeing Jace and had been introduced to Magnus’ father. He seemed like a nice enough man but was a little intimidating. He approved of Alec, not that he needed approval, so that was all she cared about. After introducing his father, Magnus had reported that Izzy was sleeping on the chair in the family room and had gone back to check on her. Asmodeus had stayed a while, swapped phone numbers and then gone home. Maryse had left it a while and when Magnus hadn’t returned, she had gone to check on him. Him and Izzy were both crashed out together on the couch, so she had borrowed a blanket, draped it over them and left them to rest. Alec was flat out, sleeping in the dark with the curtains closed. He was being sensitive to light and had been having headaches, so was having rest and minimal visitors for today.

Maryse set Max down and took his hand. She was taking the opportunity while everyone else was asleep to spend some time with just him. He had been nothing but patient lately, being passed around to various people, but he was still just a little boy. A little boy who needed his mom.

“There’s a shop here, Max, and a little café. Do you want to pick some stuff out?” Max nodded, and she led him over to a stand that could be turned. It had loads of things such as pencil cases and bookmarks, each one with a different personalised name.

Max pointed to the blue cup at the bottom. It had a domed lid and a swirly straw sticking out of it. “Are you sure? You don’t want to look for one with your name on it?”

Max nodded. “I’m sure. Hey, Mommy, can I go pay for it by myself?”

Maryse pulled a note out of her purse and handed it to Max. “Sure, sweetheart. I’ll wait right here.”

***

Izzy stretched out her arms and yawned. Her hair was in a tangle over her face and she swept it back with her hand. Magnus had his back to her and was doing something with what looked like a makeup bag.

She yawned. “Gooood morning. It’s a little too early for makeovers, isn’t it? I mean I know I probably look a mess but pouncing on me with eyeliner probably isn’t going to cut it.”

Magnus smiled and carried on looking down. Today was a bright and sunny Saturday. He felt hopeful. “Sadly, Medication, not makeup. My father just dropped it off for me. It should have been my first thought but ironically, where I had my glioblastoma means it makes me forget things.” Izzy got up and went over to look at the table. She was studying chemistry and biology in school.

She recited, as if from a textbook. “A glioblastoma is a type of astrocytoma, a cancer that forms from star-shaped cells in the brain called astrocytes. This cancer usually starts in the cerebrum, the largest part of your brain. Glioblastoma tumours make their own blood supply, which helps them grow. It's easy for them to invade normal brain tissue… shit, Magnus, you don’t do things by halves, do you?”

Magnus shook his head and laughed. “Oh, that’s not all. Mine was practically in between my parietal and frontal lobe. That means I get the best of both worlds when it comes to symptoms. Left sided weakness because of it being on the right hand side. Organisation problems, clumsiness and poor spatial awareness from the frontal lobe. Seizures, sensory problems and poor memory from the parietal lobe. Chemo caused ringing in my ears, hormonal issues, sleep disturbance, nausea. The list does go on.”

Izzy watched as he brushed what must have been ten different pills into his hand. He used the other to fill up a cup from the water fountain. Finally, he sat down next to her and put one tablet in his mouth.

“There’s survivors. Not winners”

***

Alec's nurse adjusted the drip of saline that was connected to Alec's hand. She looked down to observe him as he slept. It was too soon to say if the transplant had worked yet. Poor kid. She watched Alec's heartbeat as it picked up on the monitor. Whatever he was dreaming about, it looked like it was frightening him, and she wondered if it was crueller to wake him up or let it carry on.

***

_Alec looked up at the night sky. Millions and millions of tiny stars. Flecks in distant galaxies. Worlds billions of lightyears away that he would never get to see. He tilted his head up in wonder, catching glimpses as the leaves on the trees swayed and shifted to block his view._

_“Look how big it is. How can our problems seem so much to us when all of that is out there?”_

_A branch snapped behind him and Alec spoke without turning his head. He crossed his arms._

_“Don’t try it. I’m done running. You’ve lost.”_

_The voice screeched into his ear, raising the hairs on the back of his neck. He ran his hand over his hair and pulled his fingers through it. “But you haven’t reached your goal yet.”_

_The ground moved, once. Alec turned around and gasped, falling to the floor. He sat on the hard ground, unable to see through the dark._

_He shielded his eyes as a tiny spark flickered in the inky darkness. He put his hand against his forehead and squinted into the trees. The spark caught on one of them and he scrambled to get up. It grew within seconds, crackling as it spread, filling the forest with the sound of breaking branches and the arid scent of burning leaves._

_He turned before his feet had even touched the ground._

_Branches scratched his face and pulled at his clothes, as he ran across the ground._

_Alec gasped as he met the grass that led to the lone tree._

_He turned with his arms stretched out, as if he could block the torrent of flames that were catching up to him. Alec shouted over the sound of snapping branches. “Leave it alone!”_

_The voice screeched from his head. “Why do you choose to save one tree when I’ve just burned down an entire forest, Alec? You need to learn quickly, Alec Lightwood. Learn quickly. I don’t want to be your enemy. I’m just trying to help you.”_

_Alec ran over the scorched ground, racing to get to the middle of the field. The tree was perfect and full of life. Void of darkness other than the black shadow that remained in the top branches._

_His feet scraped the bark on the bottom of the tree. There were no branches low enough to get a grip on._

_The voice whispered. The flames had stopped in a perfect circle around the tree._

_It laughed. “Oh, Alec. No, no, no. I don’t want you to climb.” Alec looked up at the top branches, as the flames crackled and popped around him._

_The voice screeched._

_“I want you to watch him fall.”_

***

“Hey, Kiddo!” Max ran into Jace’s cubicle and found him sitting up in a chair. Max hugged him tightly with one arm and grinned. Something was behind his back. "What you got there?”

Max produced the blue cup with ‘Brother’ written on it. “You gave Alec something important to you, so I wanted to get you something.”

Robert spoke softly from behind him. “Max. Your mom wanted you to have something for yourself.”

Jace looked over the cup and handed it back. “He’s right, Max. I want you to have this.”

Max took the cup and ran his thumb over the writing. He was awfully fond of it already. “Are you sure?”

Jace hugged him tightly, closing his eyes. “You deserve to have something, Max. You’re the one who saved Alec, not me. It was your idea for my bone marrow to be tested.”

Max looked up at him with big, brown eyes. “You’re the one who gave it to him. And I already got something anyway.”

Jace looked at him. “What did you get?”

Max smiled. “Three big brothers and the best sister I could ask for.”

***

Izzy smiled as she handed the coffee cup to Magnus. She blew on the top of hers and passed Magnus’ over. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

Magnus took the coffee gratefully and took a sip. “Thank you. Have you spoken to your parents yet?”

Izzy nodded. They were sitting in the family room again. They’d walked around for a bit  but couldn’t find anyone. They hadn’t wanted to press the intercom button for Alec’s room, in case he was asleep. They had agreed to separate for a minute because Magnus had wanted to run to the shop to buy mints and a hairbrush, and Izzy had wanted to find her parents. “Well, I just saw Dad, anyway. At the coffee stand actually. He said that Max was in the games room, playing video games with Jace, so he took a minute to get a drink.”

“Did he say if your Mom was with Alec?”

“Mom has gone home to sleep and shower and stuff. I know her though, she’ll probably be back later. He said that Alec had wanted to sleep for a bit. You’ll never believe this though, guess what?!”

Magnus stirred his coffee. He had really wanted to speak to Alec. “What is it?”

Izzy grinned and hit his arm. “They tested my blood type to find out what it was when they looked at my bone marrow. My bone marrow wasn’t a match, but my blood type is O-, I just ran into Alec’s nurse and she said that Alec is having a blood transfusion today because his platelets are low or something. Being O- means I can donate to anyone, so Alec can have my blood!”

Magnus jumped up and hugged her with tears in his eyes. “Oh, Izzy. That’s fantastic!!”

She beamed. “I’m going to go down to the blood room now. Do you want to come with me?”

***

"Arrghh! Jace, Ima catch you!!"

Jace swerved the car around the corner of the screen. He cut in front in Max's car and it fell off the cliff on the side of the road. Jace raced his car over the finish line and the screen cut to his character cheering with a first place trophy. Max threw his controller down.

Jace chuckled as he flicked through the case of console CDs. "Nice try, buddy. I've literally been playing video games since before you were born."

Max looked around the room. There were board games stacked up against one of the walls. "This room is so cool!! I'm going to ask Mom and Dad if we can have one of these in our house! We can stay up all night and play video games!"

Jace zipped up the case and switched off the TV.  He laughed. "Yeah. That sounds like a great idea. Alec would spend the whole time telling us to be quiet."

Max sat down next to him. "Jace? Alec is coming home, isn't he?"

Jace pulled Max against him. "Of course, he is! It will just take a little time, that's all-"

"It's just that I haven't seen him in ages. Mommy and Daddy haven't taken me to see him."

Jace kissed the top of his head. "I promise that we'll go and see him tomorrow, if he's feeling better. Hey, I know where Izzy and Magnus are-"

Max jumped up. "You do?!"

Jace smiled and patted his head. "Sure. I'll ask if we can go and see them."

***

"I thought you didn't like needles. Why are you smiling?"

Izzy grinned as the blood was taken from her arm. "I'm trying to be brave. Think of when Alec is told that he's going to be getting a little of both me and Jace in him."

Magnus smiled as he patted her head and stood up. The nurse finished off and they all turned at the sound of giggling and footsteps running in the corridor.

Max burst through the door and jumped into Izzy's lap. "Hey, Buddy! I've missed you."

Jace was wheeled in reluctantly and both of the nurses left the room.

Jace joked as he laughed and crossed his arms. "Typical you to get what you want, Iz."

Izzy held her arms up. Max was wrapped around Magnus' waist in a koala hug.

Magnus rocked back and forth while Max made cute little sounds. "Are all Lightwoods huggers like this?"

Jace chuckled. "You think he's bad? Wait until Alec gets his hands on you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 Please drop a comment, either on here or on twitter with the hashtag #Flutterfic.  
> I've added a few links, if you'd like to look into anything I've talked about.
> 
> The first is about the parts of the brain and what each section does. The link is[ here.](https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/how-dementia-progresses/parts-brain)
> 
> I've also included another on the long term effects of having radiotherapy. The link is[ here.](https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/brain-tumours/treatment/radiotherapy/long-term-side-effects)
> 
> The third is on aftercare after donating bone marrow. The link is[ here.](https://www.anthonynolan.org/8-ways-you-could-save-life/donate-your-stem-cells/support-donors/taking-care-yourself-after-pbsc)


	12. Greenhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec exhibits some strange new symptoms.
> 
> "We get high on all sorts of drugs, when all we need is love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a filler chapter. As requested, Alec is back and on top form. I wanted to put in a bit of a funny chapter to lighten this fic up a bit <3
> 
> Song for chapter 12:[ "Vanilla Twilight."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdc3RdXoFwA&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=14&t=0s)

Magnus stared out of the window as the car moved. His father was driving him today.

“Are you going to be back for tea?”

Magnus nodded. “I want to. Visiting time is stricter on Sundays, so they won’t let me stay too late. I thought I would cook for us. I haven’t done that in a while. I thought maybe when Alec is better that I would try and cook something for us to eat together. I’ll have to get some practice.”

Asmodeus nodded as he pulled the car in. Magnus still had his principal of walking up to the hospital. “Ring later and I’ll come and pick you up.”

Magnus opened the car door and jumped out. “Thank you, Father. I’ll see you later.”

He shut the door and waved as Asmodeus pulled the car out.

Magnus pulled the strap on his backpack and tossed it over his shoulder. His left arm and shoulder were always playing up because of the weight of his school books and his father was constantly telling him to put the bag on his back properly. He had school tomorrow and was not looking forward to it. He also knew that Max and Izzy were going to school though, so he was going to try and text Izzy through the day.

As he walked through the hospital entrance, a woman was holding a donation tin for a local children’s charity. He reached into his bag and brought out several pieces of change. The woman smiled gratefully and then looked on in shock as Magnus dropped some of the coins on the floor.

Magnus rushed to pick them up. "Sorry! I’m so clumsy!” He didn’t feel like going into his cancer-tastic history with a stranger.

He put the coins into the woman’s tin and she smiled. “Oh, that’s no problem. Thank you very much.”

Magnus continued on his way. Nothing was going to ruin his mood today. Izzy was at home but had texted to say that Alec was up and talking, and that he had a bit of an appetite today. Magnus was practically skipping as he reached the foyer. He’d been told off about 10 times for buying Alec flowers because of ‘infection control’. That didn’t mean he couldn’t get him something else.

He went into the shop and scanned the wall. The woman who ran the shop waved from behind the till.

She smiled. “It’s nice to see you. I haven’t in a while. Have you stopped coming in on Thursdays?”

Magnus grabbed a pack of Oreos from the bottom shelf. He tossed them in the air before catching them again and setting them down by the till. “Oh, I know! I’ve been visiting my boyfriend each day. I promised him that I’d go to his first group session with him, when he is better, so I haven’t been lately. I want my next one to be with him.”

The woman scanned the Oreos as Magnus looked around the shop. Alec couldn’t really have any gifts other than food at the moment because his risk of infection was so high. Magnus had bought a few things for when Alec was better. He’d still be in the hospital for a while, even after coming out of isolation. Magnus knew that things such as drips and chemo took a long time to run through. Alec would need things to do. Magnus had gathered together quite a hamper. He was considering getting a teddy that he’d seen at the mall to go in it but didn’t know if that was Alec’s kind of thing. So far, he had: fuzzy socks, a few different snacks, an adult colouring book about birds; with coloured pencils, and several novels.

He picked up a magazine on makeup for Izzy but admittedly, he had been getting funny looks from the amount of time he had been flicking through it. He grabbed a bottle of water and set them down on the desk.

The woman scanned them through as she spoke. “I know it’s strange to remember, but I remember you saying that you wouldn’t buy Oreos again. That really bad day when I went over to the fountain to talk to you. I noticed you’ve been buying them again-”

Magnus nodded, knowing what the woman was trying to say. “They’re not for me. I know I said that I stand by my principles, but Alec means more to me. Strangely, they're one of the only things that don't make him feel sick.”

The woman paused. “Alec? The one with the bobble hat?”

Magnus nodded. “He may have been seen lately, sporting a hat from ‘yours truly’, but yes. He is the one with the bobble hat.”

The woman put his things in a bag and handed them over. She ducked her head. “I’m rooting for you guys. I hope he gets better soon.”

***

“I hope you’re looking after my blood.”

Alec smiled. He’d been able to get out of bed today and was sitting in a wheelchair by the window. He tapped the cannula in his hand. “Sure am. Thank you, Iz. It was so kind of you to do that for me.

Izzy smiled. “It was nothing. I’m glad I could help you.”

“How’s Jace? He came by for a bit, first thing, but he was really tired. He didn’t stay for long”

Izzy twiddled with one of her earrings. “He’s okay. It will be strange going to school without him, tomorrow. Magnus said we could text each other.” She smiled, wishing she could squish Alec’s cheek. “He’s a nice guy. You better not let that one go, Alec.”

Alec lifted his chin up. He had a cup in his hand, and he took a sip before speaking. “I don’t plan on it.”

“Oh! I forgot! Check this out!” She pulled her phone from her pocket and put the screen against the window. “Mom gave Magnus a lift home last night and while he was waiting on the couch for his dad, Max fell asleep on him! Look how cute this is!”

Alec nearly spat out his drink. He moved to get a closer look, placing his fingers on the glass between himself and the phone screen. Max was curled up in Magnus’ lap. Magnus arms were curled protectively around him. Magnus’ head was tilted to look up at the camera and half of his mouth was curled upwards with an adorable, boyish smile. Izzy squealed. “Look at Magnus holding him!!”

Alec spluttered in a strained, high pitched voice. “…Can you send me that?”

Magnus popped up behind Izzy. “Did someone say my name?” He caught sight of Alec and winked, either forgetting or more likely for Magnus, not caring, that Izzy was there. “Hey, Gorgeous.”

Alec’s cheeks went red. What was he playing at today? “Izzzyyy! Tell him not to flirt with me while I’m stuck in here!”

Magnus wiggled his fingers. “What did I say?! Trust me, darling-” He winked again. “I could do a lot worse than that.”

Izzy held up her hands in surrender, jumping down from her seat. “That’s it! I’m out! I’m going to see Jace!” She waved and set off down the corridor.

Magnus leaned forward and put his hand against the glass. He pouted. “Miss you.”

Alec put his hand against Magnus’. “Miss you.” He paused. “Love you.”

Magnus smiled and Alec’s heart fluttered. His heart was racing. What was the matter with him today?

“Love you, too.” Magnus took a shaky breath and lit up in a grin. It had been a long time since they had just been able to talk between themselves. “…I’ve been thinking about our first kiss.”

Alec groaned. “Honestly, all I’ve been doing is trying not to think about it-” Magnus looked up. “-only because I’m going mad in here.” Alec laughed, turning red. “My God, Magnus, if you had any idea what I wanted to do to you right now.”

Magnus voice caught in his throat. This Alec was not one that he had met yet. He had explained some strange symptoms to Izzy, but apparently, this wasn’t one he was willing to discuss with her. Magnus thought for a second. Was he really going to humour Alec and play along with his ‘condition’?

Magnus grinned mischievously. “Exactly how reinforced is that door?”

***

“Hey, bro!”

Jace looked up and clicked his phone off. One of the girls opposite had come in with a broken leg and he’d worn her down into giving him her number. He suspected the nurses were getting annoyed with having him around. “Hey, Iz. What’s up?”

She sat down next to his bed and crossed her legs in the chair. “Not much. I think Alec is going a little mad being locked up. He’s been acting really weird.”

Jace narrowed his eyes. “Weird how?”

Izzy reached to the table. She pulled out a piece of candy and unwrapped it before putting it in the mouth. She moved it to the side before speaking. “I don’t know. I snuck a peek on his chart thing outside the door, this morning and it said something about a ‘hormone medication.’ I don’t know what it does or even if that’s what’s causing it though. I know I wanted Alec to be better, but it looks like he’s actually going up the walls. He’s all jittery and won’t sit still.”

Jace shook his head and put one of the pieces of candy into his mouth. “Strange…”

Izzy sucked on her piece of candy and nodded. “Sure is. Magnus is with him now. Maybe speaking to him will calm him down a bit.”

***

Magnus looked behind himself. He couldn’t just get up and walk away from Alec, but he didn’t know what to do. Jace’s words ran through his head when he wished they wouldn’t. Maybe telling Alec about it wouldn’t be his wisest choice.

_Jace chuckled. "You think he's bad? Wait until Alec gets his hands on you."_

Alec had his head and arms on the table.

“Your eyes! You must get stopped and complimented aaallll the time.”

_Okay Magnus. Think this through. Just nod and smile. Nod and smile. This is perfectly fine. He’s on new medications, chemo drastically messes with your hormones, he’s been trapped in that room for ages, unable to see his, quite dashing, new boyfriend, I might add. He’s a teenager, his mind is bound to be going there now and then. Ohmygod, I should not have mentioned our first kiss to him. What kind of monster am I?! Don’t show how much you want him out of there. Just sit there and nod. Sit there and nod._

Alec tilted his head. “Magnus? Are you listening?”

“Yeah, yeah. Go on.”

“-so, they said that my results are promising. I’m still open to getting an infection and will be for a while, even when I get home, but they said that they’re starting me on chemo again. A different one this time.”

Magnus put his hand against the glass. “I hope this one doesn’t make you as sick as the last one.”

“Hey, guys!” Izzy was wheeling Jace over. “We thought we’d see how you were doing!”

Alec copied Magnus, not looking up. “Me too, but I don't really care. The sooner I can get out, the sooner I can get my hands on you.”

Jace made a double chin and tilted his head back as his eyes widened. “Magnus? What did you say to him?”

Magnus held his hands up. “Nothing, I swear!”

Izzy sat behind the desk and fished out the magazine that Magnus had brought. She flicked through the pages with her head down.

Jace got up slowly and sat down in one of the seats. “Sooo. What have you guys been talking about?”

Alec wiggled his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak. Magnus intercepted him. “-Alec was just saying that his results were looking promising.”

Jace clapped with his fingertips. “Oh, that’s good! What do you think is going to be the first thing you’ll do when you get home?”

Alec purred. “Magnus-“

Magnus jumped up. “Magnus and Alec were just talking about it!! They might go out to a restaurant or something!”

Izzy looked up from her magazine. “Why are you speaking in third person?”

Magnus sat back down. “Oh, you know me! I’m always coming out with weird and wonderful things!”

Alec put his head in his hands. “It’s one of the things I love about you.”

Izzy met Jace’s eyes. Jace coughed. “Anyway… Mom said she might bring Max down later.”

Alec tapped his hands against his face. “Oh, yayy!!" He looked suggestively to Magnus, remembering the picture from earlier. "Are you guys going to look after him?!”

Izzy set the magazine down and looked at Jace. She tilted her head. _"Jace? What the hell is going on?"_

Jace looked back and shook his head, silently. _"I don't have a clue."_   His eyes widened.

Izzy turned her head. _"What is it?"_

_"They’re planning a thank you party for our donations and are trying to freak us out into leaving!"_

Izzy stood up and rolled up the magazine. “I better get Jace back. He’s been ogling over the red haired girl opposite and she’s going home today.”

Jace moved back to his chair and crossed his arms. “I have not. Jace Lightwood doesn’t ogle.”

Izzy walked behind the chair and started pushing. “Let’s go, Jace. We’ll leave them talk about what they’re planning.”

Jace clapped his hands. “Yes! I can't wait to see it!”

Magnus laughed and turned his head. Izzy and Jace were already gone. “Hehe, yeah. Hang on-WHAT?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading XD If you liked this chapter, please drop a comment, either on here or on twitter with the hashtag #Flutterfic. Also this chapter marked 100 kudos so thank you so, so much <3


	13. Out of the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus tells his classmates a story.
> 
> "Happy endings come after a story with lots of ups and downs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 13:[ "Uneven Odds."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=190WHotPutM&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=15&t=0s)

“Good afternoon class. I know it’s a last lesson on a rainy, Monday afternoon, but I will still be expecting best behaviour-”

The classroom door slammed open and Magnus ran in, dragging his bag and his dripping coat behind him. “Sorry! So sorry!-”

“Mr Bane! Nice of you to show up. Would it be at your convenience to share your answers with the class on this week’s essay question?”

Magnus sat down behind his desk. _Essay question?_

“Or perhaps you’d like to share your thoughts on the latest chapter of your reading homework?”

Magnus flipped open his notebook. _Reading homework?_

“Or perhaps, Mr. Bane, you would like to explain why you’ve turned up late to my class, trailing water and mud across my classroom floor?”

Magnus held up his index finger. _Aha! Now there’s something I CAN do!_

***

06.36 AM 

_Alec. Alec, no! You’re fine. Look at me! Look at me! Why have his eyes rolled back?! Somebody help me! I can’t carry him. Why’s he shaking? What’s happening?! Where is everyone?! Someone please help us! Anyone!_

Magnus’ eyes half opened, and he panted as he tapped the space next to him for someone who wasn’t there. Had never been there. His eyes opened fully, and he sat up, brushing his hair back. He bunched his pyjama top in his hand, clutching his hand to his chest. He was soaking from sweating in his sleep. He took several deep breaths. He’d been shown breathing exercises, but they didn’t always help.

 _Yo_ _u’re fine. He’s fine. It was just a dream, Magnus._

Magnus rolled over in his bed and pulled out his phone from under his pillow. He squinted at the time and noticed the charging icon next to it that read 10%. The cable was plugged in the bottom and he followed the line of it, down to the extension cord under his bed. The plug wasn’t turned on. _Fuck._

He held down the on/off button. The phone had been playing up for months and would never charge in time for school now. At least turning it off would save some of the battery. He was still shaken up and knew he would never get back to sleep.

He strolled into the adjoining bathroom. The advantage to only himself and his dad living in the house was that he got a bathroom to himself. It was probably stupid having two bathrooms when only the two of them lived there, but it meant he didn’t have to try and convince his dad to get moving so that he could do his hair and makeup in the morning. As much as he tried to explain the importance of equal eyeliner and of keeping your makeup brushes clean, his dad never seemed to be that interested.

He pulled off his pyjamas and chucked them into the hamper in the corner. He walked over to the toilet and whistled while he did what needed to be done. He finished off and turned to the shower. He turned it on and let it heat up for a second. He jumped in and stuck his head under the stream of water. He paused with his eyes shut, letting the water flow over his shoulders and down his back as he rested with his arms against the shower wall.

He turned around and reached up to grab the bottle off his favourite shampoo, off the shelf. Two others fell and within a split second, he ducked his head out of the way. Being hit on the head could cause him to have anything from a mild headache to a full blown seizure, and he definitely did not need that today.

He picked up his bottle of sandalwood shampoo and shook it. He compared it to his conditioner that was almost full. Where has it all gone? He shook the shampoo upside down and managed to get just enough out. He worked the shampoo into his hair, being careful not to get any in his eyes.

He had washed about half of it off when the shower went cold. He screeched and jumped backwards, looking at the suds on his hands, in disbelief. The two bottles fell off the shelf and he ducked his head again. The sound had reminded him of the nightmare he had been trying to forget. The sound of the slamming doors as he ran through the corridor, pulling Alec behind him.

He flicked his head under the cold water a few times, both to wake himself up and also to get the images out of his head. His dad must have forgotten to top up the meter again. He jumped out and used a towel to dry himself before grabbing his dressing gown from the side. He threw his arms into the sleeves and tied the cord across it.

***

Magnus looked up. The students were listening closely, with their heads in their hands. Even their somewhat strict but firm teacher was quietly listening from her chair. Despite Magnus’ lateness, she had been in a meeting with his father recently, and while he couldn’t be allowed to get away with everything, they could be a bit lenient with him if he had a good excuse.

One of the students spoke up quietly. Her sweet voice carrying through the biology classroom. “But, Magnus, how could that possibly make you late for last lesson?

Magnus held his hand up. “Hang on, I’m getting there.”

***

06:52 AM 

Magnus sat in front of his bedroom mirror, with his makeup case in his lap. He’d tried about ten times to get his eyeliner equal on both sides. He threw the pencil in anger and it broke against the mirror. He didn’t usually allow himself to get worked up like this, and he hated it. Like Alec having good and bad days with his treatment, Magnus could have mood swings of any proportion, on any given day. One of his medications ‘numbed’ his emotions, but he didn’t like taking it very often. Life and all its wonder and heartbreak couldn’t be wiped out by chemistry. He wanted to feel it. He knew he wasn’t mad about the makeup. Not really. He was mad about the injustice of Alec’s illness and the separation it had caused between them.

He jumped up and down, stamping his feet. There was a bird on the fence, in the garden below, that hadn’t stopped screeching all morning. It was too early, and he was too sleep deprived to be dealing with it. He went into the bathroom and tipped his toothbrush glass into the sink. He filled it up with water and stormed across his bedroom. He jumped up on his bed and pushed the window out.

“Shuuut uuuup!!” He threw the cup of water and there was an almighty screech from below.

He looked down to see next-door's cat glaring up at him. The cat was dripping wet and displaying a look that promised revenge of biblical proportions. The bird looked down at the dripping cat and back up at Magnus.

“Caww!”

***

There were several giggles from around the room. A few of the students had walked over and were now sitting on the desk next to Magnus. The teacher was reading a book at the front, apparently forgetting that she was supposed to be starting the class test.

She coughed and scratched her head without looking up. “So, what happened next?”

***

07:11 AM 

Now dressed in his school uniform, Magnus ran downstairs with a hairbrush in his hands. He skidded into the kitchen and nearly slipped on the tiles.

Asmodeus looked up from his paper. “Why are you up so early?”

Magnus rushed over to the coffee machine and put his mug under it. Asmodeus shook his head. “What?”

“Haven’t you turned a light on or something, this morning? Electricity is out in the whole street. They’re sending someone to fix it now.”

Magnus jumped up and down, narrowly avoiding dragging his hands through his now styled hair. He tried not to hate the scar on his head, but kids were cruel, and he made sure that his hair was always perfectly styled to hide it. “Are you kidding me?! I’ve spent nearly the last hour raving that I forgot to turn my phone charger on!”

Asmodeus walked over and put his hands on Magnus’ shoulders. He spoke in a gruff voice. “Magnus, look at me.” Magnus shook his head and sighed before meeting Asmodeus’ eyes. “What do you always tell me when I’m mad about something?”

“Your light is the seed, and the darkness the dirt.”

 

It was a line from a song that Magnus loved.

 

_Maybe your light is a seed_

_And the darkness the dirt._

_In spite of the uneven odds_

_Beauty lifts from the earth._

 

It had got him through some of his most difficult days; Playing it through headphones at a reasonable volume because loud music gave him headaches. You need storm clouds to appreciate the sunlight. Light is nurtured by darkness, and without it, the light can’t grow.

Magnus nodded when Asmodeus looked over with concern. “I’m sorry, it’s just- I really miss Alec, and I know it’s stupid because we’ve hardly spent any time together without a glass wall between us-”

“Hey- I get it.”

Magnus spoke with his head down. “Father, I had a really bad dream last night-”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “No, not really. It’s just that it’s made me worried. What if it meant something?”

Asmodeus sat down, knowing the dream was about Alec without having to ask. “I seriously doubt it. Could you ring one of his parents to reassure yourself? Or his sister maybe?”

Magnus shook his head. “No, it’s too early. And I’m not supposed to ring, in case I wake someone up.”

Asmodeus reached across the table for his wallet. He brought some money out and put it into Magnus’ hand.

“What’s that for?”

“Go for a drive and calm yourself down. Go and get us both a coffee and something to eat from the drive through. Come back here and we’ll have breakfast together.”

***

Magnus looked up again. More students had gathered around him.

One held her hand up. “Oooh! Oooh! You didn’t get the coffee and fell asleep?!”

One of the other students nudged her. “That wouldn’t make him that late.”

Magnus pointed. “Good guess, but no.”

One of the boys spoke up from the back. “He went to see his boyfriend, idiots.”

Magnus held his hand up. “Yes and no. I’m getting to it.”

***

07:33 AM 

Magnus pulled the car up to the drive through window. “Can I please have a medium caffe Latte, a tall white chocolate Mocha, a blueberry muffin, and a lemon and poppy seed one?”

The woman disappeared from the window and came back. “That’s $12.80.”

Magnus swore under his breath, cursing overpriced coffee corporations, and dug in his pocket. His dad hadn’t given him enough money. He pulled his bag over from the passenger seat. He’d brought it so he could go straight to school and he always kept some coins in the front. He closed his eyes and counted to five, ignoring the beeps from behind him. He’d given his change to the woman with the collection tin, yesterday. He turned back to the window. “You know what? Forget the blueberry one. Just give me the coffees and the lemon muffin, please.” The woman tapped the screen, not trying to show how much she wanted to keep the line moving.

“That’ll be $10.35.” Magnus handed her $11, and she handed back the change. “You’ll have to wait in the collection zone. There’s a hold up. What’s the name?”

Magnus spoke with his head down, realising he’d forgotten to change out of his slippers. “Magnus.”

The woman blinked at him. “Okayy. Please drive through to the collection zone.”

Magnus pulled the car up, a little further away. He turned off the ignition and looked at the clock on the radio. 07:44. He was supposed to be leaving for school by eight. He would never make it in time for registration now.

He waited for what seemed like forever. Just as he was about to decide it wasn’t worth it, a woman appeared in his wing mirror, with his order. He watched as she looked at the ticket with the order and went back inside. If he didn’t run on caffeine instead of oxygen, he definitely would have left by now. He’d been told on numerous occasions to cut it down because it wasn’t a good combination with his medication. A minute later, the woman came back. She headed straight for the car as it was the only one there. “Sorry about that. This order said you wanted a blueberry muffin, but we didn’t have any. We’ve substituted it for a chocolate one. Is that okay?” Magnus nodded and took the tray. There’d been a mix-up somewhere, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get out of there. He didn’t really eat a lot of chocolate, but someone would have it.

He let out a breath and turned the ignition on. The woman left and walked back into the shop. Perhaps today wouldn’t be so bad anyway. He had his coffee and sure! He’d be a little late, but he would get there soon. As long as he could stop worrying about Alec.

He lifted his coffee from the tray and blew on the top. His eyes caught focus on the writing on the side of the cup that was facing away from him. He turned the cup around and ran his thumb over the writing.

_Mangoes._

Magnus rolled his eyes. “OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-”

***

One of the girls laughed with her hand over her mouth. “That is so funny!”

Magnus chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Oh, just you wait. It actually gets worse.”

Several of the students jumped up, all shouting at the same time. “Nooo!”

***

08:46 AM 

Asmodeus looked up as Magnus ran into the kitchen. “Where the hell have you been? You’re already late for school.”

Magnus panted between words, setting the tray down on the table. He’d already downed his coffee, so he set his father’s down with the lemon muffin. He tossed the chocolate one in the air, narrowly catching it. “Accident- on- main-road. -Going-now.”

He sprinted out of the house and Asmodeus ran after him, barely catching his sleeve before he jumped back in the car. “Magnus! Wait! You haven’t taken your medication.”

Magnus turned on his heel and ran back into the house.

Asmodeus followed behind. “You’re supposed to be using the pill buddy to save time in the morning.” The ‘pill buddy’ was a container with little doors, marked with each day of the week. Asmodeus was always trying to get his son to use it, but he hadn’t succeeded yet

Magnus reached into the top cupboard and pulled down a large box with loads of different medication in it. “And I told you that I’m not an arthritic old man with a dodgy hip and a pacemaker!”

Asmodeus ran his hand down his face. “No, you are not. You’re a young man with a life ahead of him. A life that needs to be looked after. You may not be old, have a dodgy hip or a pacemaker, but you’re still recovering from a very aggressive brain tumour. You’ve got anxiety, nausea, balance problems-”

Magnus popped one of the packets into the pile that was already building up on the table. “You don't need to remind me! I am well aware of my problems, thank you! One problem I don't need is you hovering over me while I try to get the right medication out! If you keep talking to me, then I’m going to make a mistake-”

Asmodeus sipped his coffee and spoke under his breath as he moved out of the kitchen. “I wouldn’t need to talk to you if you just used the pill buddy.”

Magnus jumped up and down. “I don't WANT to use the pill buddy!!”

***

All the students had now gathered around Magnus. Some stood while others were seated on the desks around his own. One of the boys spoke and the others laughed. “Sounds like you need to use the pill buddy…”

Magnus laughed and held his hand up. “Don't even-!”

***

09:13 AM 

After double checking and triple checking his medication, Magnus threw them down with a few glasses of water and ran out of the house. He didn’t even know why he was rushing now. It was nearly the end of first lesson. He usually would have just got the bus, but he didn’t feel like waiting. The sky was looking grey and miserable, and he didn’t want to risk getting caught in the rain.

He sat down and pulled his phone out of his bag, remembering that it was switched off and almost flat. He wanted so badly to call Maryse and check if Alec was okay. He pulled the car out and there was a ding from the dashboard. He glanced behind the wheel and looked at the petrol gauge as he drove up the road. It was nearly on empty and he didn’t have any money on him now. He hit his hand down on the wheel and pointed up as it blared.

“Oooh, you are really testing me today! Fine! Carry on! If this is what I have to pay for my light, then so be it!”

Blue lights appeared in his mirror. He swore and pulled over. He knew that he’d done nothing wrong, but he had to pull over because flashing lights weren’t good for him. One of the many daily challenges of being epileptic. He leaned against the door and put his arm over his head. The window was open, and he heard footsteps approaching. There was a tap on the roof, and he raised one eyebrow in confusion. He had expected them just to pass.

“Excuse me, are you aware that your tail light has gone out?”

Magnus spoke in disbelief, with his head down. The police officer sounded young. Really young. Probably not much older than he was. “Please officer. I’ve had the worst day. I promise to get it sorted-”

“I’m sorry, but I can't hear you with your head down.”

“Oh, sorry.” Magnus lifted his head but still shielded his eyes. He realised he was probably looking really suspicious, so he lifted out the medallion from under his shirt. “Sorry, but I’m severely epileptic and the lights reflecting off the sirens will make me have a seizure if I don't cover my eyes.”

The young officer jumped. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know. Hang on.” He disappeared for a second and came back. “It’s okay. I’ve turned them off now.”

Magnus slowly pulled his hand away from his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Can I have your license please?”

Magnus reached into his bag and brought out his wallet. The officer was in fact a similar age to him. He must have been put on traffic duty to start him off, and he’d been in the right place at the right time. Or the wrong place at the wrong time. Magnus’ shameful, old self would probably have tried to flirt with him, to get out of it. Magnus felt like he was this officer’s type. Bear in mind, he was probably everyone’s type. That would probably be a bad idea though, even if Magnus didn’t currently have a boyfriend who he loved very much. It didn’t matter that Alec was in isolation, and had started chemo again last night, on his current medication, he would probably break out of there and knock seven bells out of this guy if he thought he was going to make a move on Magnus. He pulled out his license and handed it to the officer.

The officer flashed a white smile. A contrast to his dark, honey coloured skin. “Great picture, it’s hard to take nice license photos.” Magnus’ eyes widened as the officer walked off to his car. He returned a minute later. “I’ve seen that you’ve got no past convictions on your license. I can let you off, this one time, if you promise to get it replaced as soon as possible.”

Magnus took the license back. “Thank you! Thank you!” The young officer leaned against the door of the car.

“So... You headed off anywhere special?”

Magnus pulled his seat belt and turned on the engine. He spoke and the police officer apologised for his advances and headed back to his car.

“Sure am! I’m going to surprise my boyfriend. He’s six foot tall and on medication that’s making him bat-crap crazy for me at the moment. I’d keep an eye out for him.”

***

One of the boys nudged Magnus’ arm. They knew that Magnus had a boyfriend in hospital, but they didn’t pry about what was wrong with him. “No way you said that!”

Magnus nodded and grinned from his chair. The teacher gestured for him to take his feet off the desk.

The same boy as before jumped up. “Aha! So, you did go to see your boyfriend!”

Magnus swung back in his seat. “Again, yes and no.”

***

09:51 AM 

Magnus pulled into the pavement of the hospital car park. He knew he should have been heading to school, but it was already halfway through second lesson and he wouldn’t be any use to anyone if he didn’t reassure himself that Alec was fine.

He got out of his car and realised once again that he didn’t have change for a parking ticket. He looked back and forth between the door and the parking metre. It will only take ten minutes. I’ll just run straight in and back. He grabbed the chocolate muffin that was still on the seat. His dad had a stupid rule about eating in the car anyway, and he didn’t want it to melt on the seat if it started getting hot. He looked up at the sky that was covered with grey cloud and considered just putting the muffin back. When he realised he was stalling, he threw up his hands in desperation and ran towards the hospital doors with the muffin in hand.

He rushed past the shop and the woman behind the till waved. Her five year old grandson had been bad the last few days with chickenpox. Magnus had recommended a cream that he used when his skin flared up because of radiotherapy. She waved him over and he huffed in his head. He couldn’t exactly ignore her and carry on.

He waved as he walked over. “Hey, sorry but I’m in a bit of a-”

“It’s good to see you! That cream worked wonders for him! Cleared him right up!

“Oh, that’s good, It’s just-“

She reached under the desk and brought out a poorly drawn 'thank you' card. “He wanted you to have this. Just as a little thank you.” Magnus took it, still trying to balance the goddamn muffin in his hand, as he read inside. The hand writing was illegible.

“That’s very kind of him” He chuckled and pointed to what either was a star or a letter ‘A.’ He spoke in a high voice, “Ah, that’s lovely that is.”, and then regained his usual composure. “It was no big deal. I’m glad I could help.”

The woman rushed over to the stand. “Take some candy with you! My treat!” Magnus spoke as she insisted, and several packets were put into his arms.

“That’s very kind but I’m not really supposed to eat straight after taking-”

“-Take some with you! I’ll wrap them up for you. Let me grab a bag- now, where are they?”

She searched around the till for a few minutes, while Magnus watched on with his arms full of candy. “Oh-I know I’ve put them somewhere-!”

Magnus inched towards the corridor. “It’s okay. I can carry them. Thank you so much.”

The woman ran back behind the till as two young women walked in. “No problem, Poppet. Promise to give Alec a big hug for me!”

Magnus waved and ducked out the door, remembering what he had been panicking about; wishing more than anything else in the world that he could just hug Alec again.

***

Magnus sat on the back desk and moved the classroom lizard across his hands. He’d always liked how they regenerated themselves when they lost a limb. You wouldn’t see a lizard limping around and scratching ‘help’ into their glass tank. They just grew another leg and cracked on with it.

One of the students was staring out the window. “Okay, so I’m guessing now that this isn’t just about one thing. Did you find your boyfriend at least? And what about the muffin? Did you lose it? Did you drop it?”

Magnus set Lorenzo down in his tank. They’d done a draw and Magnus had won with the name of a prickly co-worker of his fathers’.

“I’m getting there. And no, I didn’t drop it. But I did lose it.”

The students all looked at one another and back at Magnus. “Huh?”

***

10:15 AM 

Magnus pressed the elevator button over and over. _Why is it taking so long?_ Eventually, the door dinged, and Magnus jumped back as a girl tried to get out on her crutches. Several packets fell from his hand and she looked on apologetically, as she couldn’t help him pick them up.

She spoke in a sweet and soft voice as she moved out of the elevator. Magnus silently grumbled to himself. “I’m sorry, it’s just-” She stuck her plastered leg out. She laughed as Magnus stood up. “My best-friend backed me over with his stupid van. I was supposed to go home yesterday but my medicines weren't ready. Sorry, I'm rambling.”

They stood to the side, as several people passed. Magnus tried to balance all the packets again. “No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have stood so close. My balance is no good.” She let go of her crutches and held them in one hand. She had a heavy bag on her back and the crutches were obviously hurting her hands. Magnus set his things down on the bench. He honestly didn’t care if he came back and they were gone. They were only a few packets of candy and a muffin that he was sick to death of seeing.

She carried on speaking and Magnus zoned back in. “-picking me up from outside the main entrance.”

Magnus held his hand out. “Give me your bag.”

The girl put her hands on her straps. Magnus was beyond done for the day. Even if he wanted to mug her, she wasn’t going to get far with a toe to thigh, pink plaster cast. “What?”

“Let me take your bag. I had crutches once, for two days, and they killed my hands. Let me carry your bag outside for you.” The girl heaved her backpack off her shoulders.

“Are you sure? You don't have an appointment or anything to get to?”

Magnus shook his head. “I’m visiting someone-” The girl looked at him. Usually, he didn’t go into sob stories with strangers, but this girl had a warm and inviting presence “- Umm, my boyfriend is on the cancer ward-” The girl looked at him with big eyes.

She pouted her bottom lip. “He is?”

Magnus nodded and followed as she started making her way to the entrance. She turned to look at Magnus. “Yeah- He’s doing okay. I’m supposed to be in school, but I wanted to see him because I was worried about him. He had a bone marrow transplant from his brother-”

They’d reached the hospital entrance and a poorly pained van pulled up. The girl sighed and spoke under her breath. “I told him not to bring the stupid van... Hang on a second!- Alec Lightwood is your boyfriend?!”

“Yeah. How do you know-”

A boy jumped out and helped her, with some difficulty, to get into the front seat.

She grumbled as she pulled herself in. “I told you not to bring the death van!”

He shut the door and ran around to the driver seat. Her window was open, so Magnus could hear them speaking. “Stop calling it a death van, Clary! It was an accident! I have to go to work to pick up my pay. So, I needed the van. I can’t miss it because I’m saving up until the band takes off.”

She waved to Magnus as the car pulled out. “Thank you for your help! I hope I see you again sometime!” She turned back to the front. “For goodness sake, Si, you work in a sweet store! How long do you think that’s going to take?!”

***

The students all looked out of the window. The sky was starting to clear, and the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds.

One of the girls moved towards the window. “Did you find out how she knows your boyfriend?”

Magnus shook his head. “No. Thinking about it now, she might have been on the same ward as his brother. I’ve only known him a little while and from what I’ve gathered, he’s got a bit of a reputation when it comes to the girls. I don't see why this one would be any different.”

She spoke again. “So, what happened next?”

***

10:34 AM 

Magnus walked back into the building. The muffin was still sitting there with the candy. He picked them up begrudgingly and moved towards the elevator. At the same time he rushed for the door, a man in a wheel chair came around the corner, obviously heading the same way.

Magnus held up what of his hands he could. He nodded towards the lift. “No, it’s okay. Go on.”

“Are you sure?”

Magnus nodded and turned around. The stairs were only a little further away. He walked over to them and started climbing up. It made him feel old, but he hated taking stairs because of his balance. He also couldn’t hold onto the railing because his hands were full. He made his way up slowly and sat down on the bench at the top. The bench was behind a glass panel that over looked the main entrance. He sat for a moment. He felt light headed and out of breath. He was fine until his adrenaline wore off. He had thought that when he came out of hospital, he could just carry on as if it all had never happened and never have to see the hospital again. He was thankful on occasion, he wouldn’t have met Alexander if he hadn’t been there, but it was still difficult when he got dizzy walking long distances or the other students looked at him with pity, when he had to sit out of sports in school, in case he hit his head.

He took a deep breath and stood up. Alec’s ward was just down the corridor. He could have walked there with his eyes shut by now. This particular corridor that led to both the children’s ward and the teenage cancer ward, always interested him. The corridor was painted with train carriages, all the way down. It had obviously been painted by a youth club or some sort but was actually very good.

He went onto the ward and walked past one of the bays. There weren’t many people around, so he took a moment to speak to Jace who was sitting in the corner on his laptop.

“Hey, Jace.”

Jace put the screen down and pulled his headphones from his ears. “Hey, Magnus! Playing hooky to see the boyfriend, are we?”

Magnus sat down on the edge of the bed, his arms still full. “I was just coming by to-”

Jace pointed to the muffin in Magnus’ hand. “Hey, you gonna eat that?”

Magnus moved the candy to one arm and held it out. “NO. Please , take it!”

Jace took the muffin and bit into the top. He spoke with his mouth full and pointed towards the door. “You here to see Alec?” Jace’s phone dinged and he pulled it out. “Hang on for a second-” He looked at the screen and grinned before turning the screen off and setting it down again.

“Well I can't say that I’d ditch school to come and see you, Jace. No offence. I’m heading there now.”

Jace spoke with his mouth full and waved his muffin in the air. “None taken. You bring me food and we’re good.”

Magnus stood up. “Well I better go-”

“Hang on for a second!” Jace stood up slowly and moved around to his bed. He plugged his phone charger into his phone and laid out with an arm behind his head. His phone remained in the other hand.

“Listen, Jace-”

“-This will just take a second. I want a new profile pic, but I can’t choose which one is best. I mean they’re all awesome but-”

“Jace, I really have to get going-”

Jace set his phone down by his side. He spoke sadly but he had a little smile on his face. Magnus could tell that he was getting fed up of being in hospital now, and that he didn’t get much company in the day. “Sure. I get it. Go tell Alec I said hi anyway.”

Magnus sighed and set the sweets on the table. He sat down next to Jace and dumped the phone back into his hands. “Go on then. Show me what you’ve got.”

Surely, it would only take a few minutes. How many photos could Jace have?

***

One of the boys was drawing on the whiteboard. Their teacher was sitting at her desk and snoozing as she sat up. Her glasses had slid down to the end of her nose.

“How many photos were there?”

Magnus shook his head. “You don't even want to know.”

***

11.20 AM 

When he finally managed to get away, Magnus gathered up his candy and set off down the corridor. He went around the corner and walked straight into Maryse’s back. “Oh, Maryse- Thank goodness. I’ve been so worried-“

She blinked at him. “Magnus, Alec’s gone-”

Magnus started blubbering “WHAT?!”

“Magnus, calm down. Alec’s gone to sleep. What are you doing here?”

Magnus clutched his hand to his chest as he leaned over. He’d dropped all the packs of candy again. “My God, Maryse- Don’t- Don’t do that to me.”

Maryse picked them up and handed them back to him. She guided him towards the bench in the corridor and he sat down with the packets in his lap. “I’m so sorry, Magnus! I didn’t mean to scare you like that!”

Magnus held a hand up. “It’s fine.” He let out a breath. “Is he okay, at least?”

“He’s doing well today. I’m sorry you came all this way, but I don't think it’s fair to wake him up.”

Magnus nodded. “No, I agree. As long as he’s fine, that’s all that matters.”

She smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling slightly touched that he didn’t try to hide even for a second, how much Alec meant to him. She noticed his uniform. “Do you need a lift to school? I’m just going to find Robert and meet with Alec’s doctor. If you don't mind waiting-”

Magnus gathered the candy in his hands again. “No, it’s fine. Thank you though. The car’s downstairs, so I’m going to drive.” He stood up.

“Okay then. Have a good day in school. Ring if you need anything.”

Magnus nodded. “Thanks Mo-” He coughed and Maryse hid a grin.”-Thanks, Maryse, but I can’t ring because my phone is flat.” Maryse reached into her purse and brought out several things that included tissues, two juice boxes, a compact mirror, an empty perfume bottle and a pack of wet-wipes. When the whole bench was strewn with the various things, she reached to the bottom of her bag and pulled out a portable charger with a short lead.

“Do you want to borrow this?”

***

Magnus glanced at the clock. The teacher was flat out sleeping with her head on her desk. He considered waking her, but he wouldn’t be that cruel. It was kind of annoying though that the only reason he had made sure he would be there for last lesson was because they had a biology test he didn’t want to miss.

A voice piped up from the back. “Carry on! What happened next!?”

***

11:44 AM 

Magnus rushed down the corridor. If he could just get to school by half twelve, he could be there by the end of lunch. His shoes pattered across the ground and he just wanted to throw the candy and leg it. Izzy walked out from around the corner and he skidded to a halt.

“Magnus! Hi! What are you doing here! Our school had a plumbing fault, so I didn’t need to go in after-”

“Izzy! Ohmygosh, thank you! Please just take these- Give them to Max or eat them yourself, I don't care. Just have them-” He shoved the packets of candy into her arms.

“Oh, thanks but you don't need to bother. I was just going to the candy store actually. I figured maybe Max would like something-”

Magnus panted as he ran. As much as he wanted to talk to Izzy, he couldn’t miss his test. He’d told her about it yesterday but would explain later if he needed to. “Well now you don’t need to! I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go. Catch you later!”

Magnus sprinted off down the corridor and Izzy stood still. She looked at the packets in her arms. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

Magnus threw his arms above his head as he ran down the stairs and outside. It had started raining and a downpour was going to start at any minute

His feet splashed through puddles. The car had been parked outside for way longer than it should have.

_Please don't have a parking ticket. Please don't have a parking ticket._

The large white car came into view. He gasped to get air in his lungs as he skidded in front of the hood. His eyes scanned the front windscreen. _YES! NO PARKING TICKET!_

He rushed over to the driver side door and looked down.

And that’s when he saw the wheel clamp.

***

All of the students shouted. One of the boys jumped up and down. “NOOO! You got clamped!”

Magnus nodded. “Not my smartest idea to just pull up, but I literally thought I’d be in and out again.”

One of the girls jumped up and sat down on the desk. “Was your dad angry?”

Magnus shrugged and laughed. “I don't know. I haven’t told him yet.”

***

11:52 AM 

Magnus stood in the hospital foyer with the phone and charger in his hands. Maryse walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. She crossed her arms and shook her head. “From all your running around today, I bet that you haven’t eaten or drank anything.”

Magnus hung his head slightly, noticing the empty feeling in his stomach. “Ugh, I know. Thank you for offering to drive me. Again. I’ll get something after school.”

She produced a carrier bag from behind her back. “No. I said I’ll drive you. But only if you promise to look after yourself and have the food and drink that I bought you from the shop.”

A few minutes later, Maryse was pulling her car out with Magnus in the passenger seat.

The rain was pouring down now, and she switched her windscreen wipers on. “Magnus, slow down. You’ll hurt yourself if you keep stuffing it like that!”

Magnus looked up with a mouthful of coronation chicken sandwich. He’d already downed the little chicken satay with sweet chilli sauce. He swallowed what was in his mouth and set it down to open his bottle of diet coke. He hadn’t realised how hungry he was. “Maryse I love you! Thank you for this. And for giving me the lift.”

She laughed as Magnus took a sip of his drink. “Oooh, I love this song!” She moved her hand to turn up the radio.

Magnus set his bottle down. They weren’t far from the school now. They met eyes across the middle of the car as Magnus spoke. “I love this song…”

***

Several of the students were throwing paper aeroplanes around. Magnus caught one and threw it back

One of the boys spoke as he caught it in the air. “Sooo. Jamming in the car with your boyfriend’s mom. That’s-”

Magnus interrupted. “That’s awesome and no one’s going to tell me otherwise!”

***

12:16 PM 

_We’re cominnngg afteeerr yooou_

_No-where to ruuun_

_We’re commmiing after you_

_Nowhereee to ruuun_

Magnus jumped up and down in his seat and clapped as the song ended. They were just up the road from the school and the traffic was awful. Magnus lifted his bag from the floor and pulled his coat out. Maryse looked sideways at him and spoke in a low voice. His hand was on the door handle and his head was tilted to look between the cars. “Magnus…Don’t even think about it.”

He looked up with teary eyes. “Maryyysee, I’m going to be late!”

“Magnusss!”

“Pleeasse. Pleeasse. Pleeasse. Pleeeaseee.”

Maryse looked up at the sky. “Fine. Run quickly. What time do you finish?”

“Two O’clock, but I can dri- Ah shit, my car is clamped.”

“Don’t swear.”

“Sorry.”

Maryse rubbed her temple. “I don't want you walking to the bus stop in the rain. I’ll come by at two and pick you up.”

Magnus opened the door and hugged her across the middle of the car. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“No problem, sweetheart… Now go!”

Magnus threw his coat on and jumped out. He could hardly see through the rain as he ran down the road. Water splashed up his legs as he raced past the cars.

“I’m commminnng!!”

The school gates were just in sight now. He was going to make it!

_After everything that has happened today. Please just let this one thing work out. Please let me be there in time and not get in trouble. I’m not asking for the world. Can I just ask for one thing to go well for me today?_

The gates were barely five metres away when a horn blared from behind him. In retrospect, he should have just kept running. It was only when Magnus jumped and stopped, turning around for a split second, that the lorry raced past the pavement, and the flood of water went over his head.

Magnus stood for a second in disbelief, his makeup was running down his face and his hair was messed up and flat against his forehead. He urged himself not to cry as he ran into the school yard. Stay positive. Good things are coming. There’s darkness before a rainbow, Magnus. You’re okay. It’s not far away now. In a few hours from now, you’ll be with Alec again, and everything will be fine.

Magnus looked at the clock in the corridor as he ran into the building.

_Yes! 12:29_

What Magnus didn’t know was that clock was five minutes early.

He slicked back his damp hair as he ran, throwing his bag into one hand at a time as he sprinted while pulling his coat off.

"I’m here! I’m here! I made it! …Why is everyone already in class? No, no, no, no, no!!"

“Good afternoon class. I know it’s a last lesson on a rainy Monday afternoon, but I will still be expecting best behaviour-”

The classroom door slammed open and Magnus ran in, dragging his bag and his dripping coat behind him.

“Sorry! So sorry!-”

“Mr Bane! Nice of you to show up.”

***

All of the students stared at him in disbelief. One of the boys spoke across the silent classroom. “Is that it?”

Magnus stared at them. “What do you mean: ‘Is that it?’ I’ve just spent the past hour and a half telling you a story of love and heroics and sacrifice. Is that all you seriously have to say?”

One of the girls spoke. “Yeah, okay. But we thought it was going to have some spectacular and book worthy ending. That was a little…anticlimactic…”

The school bell sounded, and the teacher’s head shot up off her desk. She snored slightly as she looked up. “Huh? Oh. Good work class. You’re dismissed.” The students looked at each other in amazement and shot out of the classroom cheering.

Magnus followed slowly behind, dragging his slightly dried, but still damp, coat and bag behind himself.

***

Maryse was leaning against the car when Magnus found her. The rain had stopped but it wasn’t doing much for his mood. He just wanted to get home now and have a hot shower. His mood had finally hit a low point, from the cold of the day and the disappointment on his classmates’ faces' when they said that the ending of his story wasn’t good enough. He jumped inside the car and rested his head silently against the window.

They had reached the hospital car park by the time either of them spoke. Maryse pulled the keys out of the ignition and turned to look at Magnus. “Are you okay? You haven’t said a word the whole way here.” Magnus pulled the handle and jumped out. Maryse followed and they started walking towards the hospital.

They reached the stairs before Magnus spoke. “I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.”

“Remember what you said in the car? On the way to school? Sometimes you have to go through something dark to come out better.”

Magnus nodded as they reached the top of the stairs. “Yeah. I know. Is everyone else coming?”

Maryse dragged her feet slightly. “They’ll be here in a bit. I just phoned Robert and he’s bringing Max and Izzy down. I thought you’d like some time with Alec before they came.”

Magnus smiled up gratefully. “Thanks.”

Maryse pointed to the other corridor. “I’m just going to see Jace. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Magnus nodded and they went their separate way.

His heart raced as he turned the corner. The door at the bottom of the corridor was open and he pushed it with his foot before walking in.

_I don't understand…_

Alec appeared from the outside corridor and walked in. He held his face as he grinned.

“Magnus. I’ve got something to tell you…”

Magnus looked at him and his eyes teared up immediately. He put his hand over his mouth as he spoke. “What’s happening…?”

Alec matched his expression, as tears rolled down his own face. “My parents saw my doctor this morning. My chemo is working amazingly and my blood cell cou-”

Alec was interrupted as Magnus’ mouth collided with his own.

Magnus mumbled against Alec’s mouth and Alec’s back bumped against the wall. He had colour in his cheeks which wasn’t just in favour of his medication working. “Oh, my Alexander. My beautiful Alexander. You have-” Magnus spoke in between kisses. “-you have- no- idea. How long- I’ve waited for this-”

Alec grinned against Magnus’ mouth. “Me too-” He shook his head. “I never want to be without you again.”

Magnus shook his head and kissed Alec again. “You won’t. Not now. Not ever.”

***

Asmodeus looked up from the kitchen table, as Magnus came through the front door. Maryse had rang earlier about the car and he had got it sorted. Magnus would be doing extra chores for a month, but that was a discussion for tomorrow.

Asmodeus spoke slowly and sadly. “Heyyy, buddyy. You okay?”

Magnus interrupted. “Ohmygod, Father. I have had the best day!”

Asmodeus looked at him, as Magnus sat down and started hungrily eating the spaghetti that was at his place on the table.

“You have?” Magnus’ hair was in a messy tangle and his lips were red. Poor thing, he’d obviously had a horrible day and was trying to hide it.

“Ohmygod, yes. The best day.”

Asmodeus nodded and walked out of the kitchen. “Okayy theenn. There’s cake in the fridge if you want it.”

Magnus laughed to himself as he shovelled the spaghetti down. It was only when Alec had got out of breath, that they’d had to cool their reunion down. That and the fact that they were in a hospital room with a glass window that was facing the corridor. He felt hopeful for the future. Even if everything went wrong, every day, from now on, he could deal with it as long as he had his precious Alexander by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading <3 This chapter is the longest I've ever written and I hoped you enjoyed it.
> 
>  
> 
> I just wanted to add that the painted train in the corridor was taken from when I was in hospital. It was really, really cool 😎


	14. Making the Most of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is spending his last evening with Magnus before he moves to the communal hospital bay. Jace finally gets to go home and Izzy wont tell Jace where she's getting her nice candy from.
> 
> "By making the best of all things, we make the most of ourselves."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 14:[ "Handsome Man."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8uocNOr7aY&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=16&t=0s)

The sunlight was just fading past the window as Magnus sat in the chair next to Alec’s bed. He hadn’t been able to concentrate in school all day and had literally ran through the car park and up the stairs on his way there.

Alec slept soundly on his side. His mouth moved in a little smile and Magnus watched as the fibres on the blanket by his nose swayed back and forth with his breathing.

Magnus ran his fingers over Alec’s head and behind his ears. His new chemo hadn’t been making his hair fall out and there was a shadow over Alec’s head, where it had grown back a few millimetres. Magnus’ breath caught as Alec leaned into the feel of his hand.

There was a cough from the door. One of Alec’s nurses had stuck her head in. She whispered as she walked over. “Sorry for disturbing you.”

Magnus went more than slightly red and sat back. He whispered, so not to wake Alec up.  “It’s fine.”

She walked over with a little cup with a few tablets in it. “We usually insist on watching patients take the tablets. You know, in case they forget or something-” She looked at Alec, as he snoozed on happily. “But it feels like a crime to wake him when he looks so content.”

Magnus looked over and held his hand out. “I can give them to him when he wakes up.”

The nurse smiled.  “Are you sure?”

Magnus nodded and she handed them over. “Can I ask what they’re for? I used to have cancer myself. I could probably qualify as a pharmacist tomorrow with all the stuff I learned while I was in.”

She looked over to Alec and pointed back and forth between them. Magnus spoke again.  “He’s my boyfriend.” He tried very unsuccessfully to hide his smile.

She looked at the tablets. “It’s not much. Antibiotics, hormone regulation, anti-sickness.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow and gulped. _Hormone regulation? I thought he was off that?_

The nurse checked Alec’s file before waving and leaving the room. Alec was still on his side and opened one little beady eye. He chuckled at Magnus’ expression as he looked in the little cup. He hadn’t noticed that Alec had been lying there with his eyes shut the entire time.

“You heard her.”

Magnus moved closer to Alec and laughed. “You faker! I thought you were asleep!”

Alec ignored him and rolled onto his back. He stretched his arms out adorably and Magnus tried not to look as his pyjama top rode up. “You heard the lady. Hand them over.”

Magnus gulped and looked down again at the tablets. _Oh, dear Lord._

***

“Mom, I can walk. It’s fine.”  Jace tried to turn in his seat as he was wheeled down the hospital corridor. He winced as he turned back round.  “Mom! Seriously! They wouldn’t let me go home if I wasn’t!”

Izzy skipped in tow of the wheelchair. She was grinning into a bag of fizzy pic-a-mix that Jace knew they didn't sell in the shop. She'd rudely refused to share. She'd been turning up all week with all sorts of candy but wouldn't tell Jace where she was buying them. He'd have to do some snooping.

Jace screwed up his face. “What are you grinning at?”

Izzy looked up from the bag. “Nothing. I just thought that you’d be happier to be getting out of here quicker.”

Jace crossed his arms. “I am happy to be going home.” He grumbled under his breath. “At least at home, I won’t have to hear the other kids talking about seeing the two boys kissing in the hallway.”

Maryse lifted her head. She’d been looking at the bag that was on the bottom of the chair. “What now?”

“Nothing.”

They’d reached the entrance and Jace covered his eyes. It had been so long since he’d seen anything but hospital walls. He was glad to finally be out and even more surprisingly to be starting back in school next week. And sure, if one or two girls happened to hear about his heroic act of saving his brother’s life, then who would he be to deny them a conversation or two?

Maryse pointed. “There’s Dad.”

They watched as the blue car pulled up next to them. A few seconds after stopping, the back door opened and Max ran from the car.

Maryse scooped him up in her arms and closed her eyes before setting him down. He still smelt like a baby to her. “Max, we told you no jumping out unless Daddy says so.”  Max wasn’t listening. He was hugging Jace tightly and smiling up at him.  Maryse sighed. “Okay then. Let’s get Jace home.”

***

Magnus was sitting up on Alec’s bed and eating more lime Jell-O that Max had brought. One of the nurses had been in a bit earlier and drawn the curtains across because it was getting late. Magnus wouldn’t be staying much longer anyway. Maryse had offered to drop him home when they took Jace, but Magnus was going to drive home in a minute.

Magnus looked up with a spoonful of Jelly, halfway to his mouth. “Alec? What the hell are you doing?” Alec had one leg up in the air and was half hanging out the door. He was looking side to side down the corridor. Magnus knew he was feeling better, but he was still too weak to walk far and should have really been in bed.

Alec turned around and Magnus raised his eyebrows as he kicked the door closed.  “Alec- you do realise-”  Alec shot across the room and knelt on the bed next to Magnus.  “What the hell are you-”

Alec cupped Magnus’ face in his hands and giggled as he kissed him. “Ssssh!”

Magnus laughed against Alec’s mouth. “Alec? What on earth are you on? We’ll get caught!”

Alec pointed to the table and a shiver of cold went through Magnus. Alec hadn’t even taken his medication yet. “I’m not on anything. They’re moving me to the normal ward tomorrow”

Magnus’ speech was muffled as Alec kissed him again. He nearly forgot to reply as Alec kissed him passionately. Their mouths made noises as they danced off one another and Magnus moaned softly. “What are you saying?”

Magnus had to remind himself that Alec was supposed to be taking it easy. Alec was unbothered and threw his leg over Magnus, so that he was sitting in his lap. Magnus eyes widened but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Alec at that second to stop. Alec’s fingers trailed across the back of Magnus’ neck, making him shiver as they moved in sync with one another’s mouths. “I’m saying-” Alec kissed him again. “That it’s a communal ward. That means no more-of this-until I’m home. I’m making the most of it.”

Magnus kissed him back, lifting his head up off the pillow. He grinned under Alec's burning lips and spoke in a low voice. "Never- say never. I'm sure we can sneak in a few kisses now and then. No one will care if we keep it PG around everyone else." Magnus moved Alec over so that he could lean over him himself. Alec was getting tired, and quickly. His eyes were already fluttering shut. Magnus put his hand against Alec’s face and kissed him once, softly. Alec’s eyes darted back and forth as Magnus broke away. He knew what he was going to say. “Alexander, I have to go.”

Alec spoke like a little child. “But I don't want you to go.”

Magnus grabbed his coat off the chair and threw it on. He grabbed his satchel from the floor and slung it over his shoulder. Alec was now pouting and facing away with his arms crossed. Magnus walked over to Alec and slowly kissed the soft spot between his ear and his jaw. Alec was trying to look angry but at the same time was trying to put his arm over his face to hide his smile.

He turned to face Magnus and caught his mouth against his own. Their games of ‘one more kiss’ had made Magnus late for school twice and late for dinner three times in the past four days that Alec had been out of isolation. Magnus paused with his hand on Alec’s face. “Alexander, I really have to go now.” Alec nodded and pointed to his medication and the bottle of water that was on the table. Magnus knew how Alec always took them quickly to get it over with. He was stalling and going as slowly as he possibly could.

Magnus laughed. “Alec, you’re stalling.”

Alec played with the bottle cap and set it down again. “Am not.”

At that second, one of Alec’s nurses walked in with a bag of fluids in her hands. She smiled pleasantly and laughed. “Oh, Magnus. You’re still here?” She whispered something to Alec, but Magnus’ couldn’t see what it was.

Magnus purposefully moved his bag on his shoulder. “I was just leaving.” 

Alec stuck his head out from behind the nurse. He grinned at Magnus as he started unbuttoning his shirt to give her access to the port in his chest.  He wiggled his fingers. “Okayy thennn. See you tomorrow.” Magnus face went pink. He rolled his eyes and turned to walk out. Alec held his hand out. “Magnus, wait.”

He turned around. “Yes, Alexander?”

Alec glanced at the nurse. He was playing a dangerous game but apparently was getting a kick out of it. He spoke and pouted his lip. “You forgot goodbye kisses.”

The nurse clutched her hand to her chest  “Awww!! Guys!”

Magnus tilted his head and sighed, really wishing he could show Alec up and tell the nurse what he was up to. He walked over and glanced at the nurse before kissing Alec softly. He squished Alec’s cheek. “I love you, you stupid idiot.”

Alec grinned. “Love you too. Call me later?”

Magnus nodded. He walked to the door and looked back once more. Alec had his head down and was watching as the nurse connected his drip to his port. Magnus kissed his fingers and held them out before leaving. _I love you more than words, Alec Lightwood._

***

Maryse unlocked the front door and Jace followed her inside.

“It’s good to be home.” Jace gestured to the living room. “Max! Recliner!” Max ran past him, eagerly wanting to help in any way he could. Maryse rolled her eyes. Jace was almost back to normal now, but she’d let him enjoy himself by condemning them all to slavery for a few more days.

Izzy was dragging Jace’s bag in from the car and moaned as she pulled it along the ground and over the lip of the door.  “Jesus!”

Jace sat down in the recliner and Max rushed to pull off his shoes for him as Jace put his arms behind his head. “I agree with the biblical analogy, but it's Jace.”

Izzy huffed as she dumped his bag in the living room doorway. Robert walked in and put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. She turned to look back as Max brought Jace a drink and put a pillow behind his shoulders. “Dad? Can I deck him yet?”

Robert put his arm over her shoulder and kissed the top of her head as he laughed. “One more week, I promise.” Jace gestured for the TV remote and Max screwed up his face and handed it over. “Although arguably, someone might beat you to it by then.”

***

Magnus looked down into his food and moved his fork around the plate. It had been a few hours since he gotten home and his adrenaline and endorphins had finally worn off.

Asmodeus looked across the table and wiped his mouth. “What’s the matter? You don't like your food?”

Magnus set his fork down. “It’s great. I’m just not hungry. Can I go?”

Asmodeus sighed. Magnus had always struggled with his appetite. But lately, he’d been a lot worse. He couldn’t blame his son for being worried about the other boy, but he also needed to take care of himself. He also hadn’t been well until recently although he was sleeping a bit better now. “I’ll put something away for later if you’re hungry.”

Magnus stood up and pushed his chair back. “I’m just going to go to bed, alright?” He walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs.

A short while later, he had showered and put his pyjamas on. He climbed under the covers of his large, double bed and pulled the curtains open a bit. He didn’t like sleeping in the dark.

He laid on his side with the phone plugged into the charger. The phone was on its side, on the pillow next to him so the screen was facing him. His phone case had a ring on the back, so it stayed up as he rested it. Just as he was about to flick up the screen, an incoming video message notification popped up.

He pressed the screen and leaned his cheek against the hand on the pillow. “Hey. I was just about to call.”

Alec smiled. “It’s ten-fifteen. You always call me at ten.”

Magnus spoke softly. “I’m sorry. I got held up. Are you tired?”

Alec smiled again. “No. You know I can’t get to sleep without you.”

Magnus smiled into his pillow. “The same with you.” He touched his finger to his lip and touched it to the camera. “Well, goodnight then.”

Alec spoke softly. His eyes were finally starting to feel heavy. He could nap in the day but him and Magnus had both found out recently that the other hadn’t been sleeping at night. It was only when they’d tried to video-chat and talk before bed, that they had both kept falling asleep and realised they could fall asleep much easier if they could see one another.

Alec lifted his phone and kissed the camera. “Goodnight. Love you.”

Magnus smiled as his eyes finally started to close. “Love you too. See you tomorrow.”

***

The following morning, Magnus woke up feeling refreshed and in good spirits. His phone was in standby and he flicked the screen up. Alec was sleeping on the screen and smiling into his pillow. Magnus hung up and stretched. He'd slept awkwardly on his left arm and had pins and needles running through it. He stood up and walked to the adjoining bathroom. Sunlight was pouring through the skylight. Saturday. The best day of the week. All young people his age would be out with friends or celebrating and running around town, looking for something to do. Not Magnus. He knew exactly where he would be today, and what he was doing. And he would never want to spend it with anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	15. Diving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has moved to the communal ward and it's getting late. Magnus hasn't visited or called for the first time since they began dating and Alec is starting to get worried.
> 
> "Love is like water. We can fall in it. We can drown in it. And we can't live without it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 15:[ "Grow As We Go."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhna6YQEvz8&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=17&t=0s)

“Your bed is just through here. The one on the end.”

Alec nodded as was wheeled into the room. His bag was in his lap and he dropped it down on the floor before standing. Magnus had insisted that he wanted to be there when he moved, but a bed had become available and they needed the isolation room. Alec hadn't been able to get hold of him. “That’s great. Thank you.”

“Sometimes the TV is on, or the speakers on the wall with music. If you want them off at any time, give us a shout. We also have a time around seven that we call ‘quiet time.’ It’s just a chance for everyone to get some rest or relax a bit. Some patients like leaving the curtains open while they're here and some like keeping them closed. It’s up to you, but you tend to find on the teen cancer ward that most prefer a bit of peace and privacy.”

“Okay, thanks. I think I’ll keep them closed. I like my quiet.”

“That’s fine. Give me a shout if you want anything.”

Alec sat down on the bed, as the nurse left the room. A few doctors were walking in and out. They had said he could go outside for a few hours when he felt up to it. A few of the other teens in the room actually looked sicker than he did in his opinion. Alec felt a little cold because the window opposite was open, but he didn’t feel like getting up or asking anyone to close it when he had just got there. The nurses had said that his temperature would go up and down until he put weight back on again. He knew it was hot outside from the afternoon sunlight. He would probably be warm again, in a minute. He pulled his bobble hat from his head and unzipped his holdall. He lifted out the cap on the top and set it on the bed. He then dug around and found the comfy sweater that Magnus had given him. He looked around and bunched up the sweater in his hands. He sunk his face into it and smiled as he inhaled and hugged it gently. He pulled it over his head slowly, being careful of the port in his chest. His cannula had been removed earlier and they would see tomorrow if he would need it back. When he had put the sweater on, he put his bobble hat back in the bag and put the other hat on his head. He didn’t turn it backwards this time, showing the M.B. initials in all their glory. Magnus would get a kick out of it later.

He pushed his bag under his bed. He didn’t feel like sorting it now. Maryse would only pull all his things out and rearrange them when she came by later. Now he was back on the ward, visiting times were restricted to what they called ‘before and after school’ hours. Alec sat back in his bed and put his feet up on the covers. He didn’t feel like taking them off for the moment. He was conserving his energy for any visitors that he saw later. His Mom had visited quickly that morning, while the doctors were doing their rounds. He had just been waking up when doctor had noted how drained he looked and had asked if he had been doing any ‘strenuous activity’ the day before. Straddling Magnus’ lap came to mind, but he didn’t think either the doctor or his mother would appreciate hearing about that.

He checked the time on his phone. It was early evening and Magnus was usually there at half two. His parents and Magnus alternated their visiting each day. One day Magnus would come at half two, and his family in the evening, and then next day they would swap. It was nearly time for Alec’s family to arrive and he was getting worried that Magnus hadn't been. Did Magnus not want to visit anymore?

A few minutes later, Alec was lying on his bed and huffing to himself. Just as he considered changing into his pyjamas for the night, Magnus came around the corner. Alec hadn’t gotten up to pull the curtains closed yet and turned his head as Magnus walked in. Magnus was pushing a wheelchair over and smiling. Several faces picked up to look but quickly turned back to what they were doing. There wasn't a patient or staff member on the whole floor who hadn't heard about Alec and Magnus. Magnus leaned down next to Alec and held his hand to the side of his face. He kissed Alec softly and smiled.

“Hi.”

Alec smiled. “Hi. I was worried. You kept me waiting today.”

Magnus kissed his forehead. “I'm sorry, but there was no need to be. It was with good reason-” Magnus stood up and held his hand out. “Come on. You’re coming with me.”

Alec swung his legs around and Magnus offered his arm for him to take. Alec gasped mockingly. “Magnus Bane, are you here to kidnap me?” Several eyes were rolled around the room. Alec stood up and took Magnus’ arm.

Magnus smiled as he walked Alec to the chair. “A ravishing thought, Alexander. But, no. I’ve got something else planned.”

***

“Hey. Anyone home?!”

Simon walked through the front door and closed it again. As he had literally grown up with Clary, he’d never had to knock before he came in.

Clary shouted from the living room. “In here!”

Simon jumped over the couch and immediately regretted it because he’d been told not to do it before. Simon smiled and patted her head. “How’s my favourite little red-head?”

Clary pouted. “The ONLY red-head. Still mad at you for mowing me down. Have you seen the giant, pink plaster on my leg?!" She softened. "Did you bring them?”

Simon turned and reached into his bag that he had chucked on the floor. “Okay for starters, I did not mow you down. It’s highly debatable-”

Clary hit him repeatably on the arm. “Give-me-my-damn-red-gummy-bears!!”

Simon shielded himself as he pulled out the bag. “Okay! Okay! You know you’re bad for the store? It took so much convincing for my boss to stock jars with only red gummy bears and you’re the only person who I’ve ever seen buy them.” He chucked the bag. “Here! Take them, you soulless monster!”

Clary caught the bag and pulled it open with a grin. “Soulless monster?! You mowed me down with a van, Simon!”

Simon threw his hands up in the air. “For the last time, Clary! I lightly ran you over, I did not mow you down!”

***

Alec covered his eyes as instructed, while Magnus pushed him down the corridor. “Did you check that this was okay? I don't want to have an SOS put out to my parents that you've been caught wheeling me out. Oh God, I can hear Jace and Izzy's laughter from here.”

Magnus laughed. “Yeah, I checked with everyone and it’s all been sorted. I’ve got something to tell you too.”

Alec lifted his hands from his eyes and Magnus paused to push them back. “Now see, THAT makes me nervous.”

Magnus laughed. “Don’t be. I sorted it out, so your parents are having dinner with my father. I bought Jace and Izzy movie tickets and Max is staying over his friend’s house. We’ve got the rest of the day together.”

Alec still had them covered but moved his eyes in confusion. The day was still boiling hot, despite being evening, but he felt a gentle breeze as Magnus pushed him outside in the wheelchair. “Mmm…I still think you’re kidnapping me. I can't get in the back of your car to hide if you don't let me uncover my eyes.”

Alec felt the chair move from pavement to softer ground. They moved for another minute before Magnus stopped, telling Alec not to take his hands from his eyes. “Okay, Magnus, where the hell-”

Alec stopped speaking as Magnus walked around the side of the chair. “Keep your eyes covered!”

“Okay!!”

Magnus put one arm under Alec’s knees and the other round his back and under his arm. He probably wouldn’t have been able to do it if Alec was at his full health. Alec laughed as Magnus tossed him up slightly and caught him in the right position.  “Okay. Open your eyes.”

Alec pulled his hands away. He’d been able to hear water but had seriously doubted that Magnus was taking him for a late evening skinny-dip.

Alec glanced around from Magnus’ arms. The hospital was a little distance away and the grass away from it led to a little stream and then a little wooded picnic area. The trees all around it were strung with lights and there was a blanket laid out with food and battery powered candles. Alec let out a breath. “Magnus…”

Magnus moved over the grass, still carrying Alec in his arms. The little stream had stones across the low water. Alec turned his head and rested it in the crook of Magnus’ neck as he carried him across, wishing he could fall asleep in his arms right there.

They made their way across slowly and Magnus lowered Alec to lay down on the blanket. There was another folded up and Magnus moved it so they could lay their heads on it. Alec took off his hat and placed it on the side, as Magnus reached into the basket and brought out a bottle. “Again, no alcohol. I have a bit of a bad history with it and it’s not good for anyone on long term medication.” Alec nodded politely. He didn’t want tonight to be about their health. He just wanted it to just be about them being together.

“Yeah. That’s fine. I never liked alcohol anyway.” As he sat up, Magnus poured a little into two plastic wine glasses.

He passed one to Alec and held out his own. “To us.”

Alec smiled and sat up on his elbows. “To us.”

Magnus crawled over and put his hands against Alec’s face. He paused for a second, his eyes skimming back and forth.

Alec’s face softened. “What is it?”

Magnus shook his head. “It’s just- I think I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

Alec went slightly red.  “That’s how I feel about you.”

Magnus set his drink down on the grass and cupped Alec’s face between his hands. Alec still had his drink in one hand and was holding it outright, so not to spill it on the blanket. Alec bit his lip while looking at Magnus’. He whispered quietly.  “Ohmygod, Magnus, please just kiss me already.”

Magnus crawled closer and swung his leg over Alec, taking most of his own weight so he didn’t hurt him. Alec still had the drink in his hand and glanced at it before throwing it into the grass.

Alec wrapped his hands around the back of Magnus’ neck and grinned as he looked up at him. Magnus only stared down softly in reply. Leaning down closer, Magnus brushed his lips with Alec's and rubbed their noses together, teasing him by not giving him the kiss that he wanted. Alec tilted his head in disapproval as Magnus grinned. Alec tried again, and Magnus ducked his head, planting a kiss just in front of Alec’s ear.

Alec moved his hands, further around the back of Magnus’ head. He made a noise in frustration as he pulled Magnus further on top of him. They stared at each other for a second, in some cat-and-mouse like game. Magnus still wouldn’t make a move. Alec leaned up, as if to whisper something and trailed his lips slowly down the side of Magnus’ neck. Magnus shivered despite the warm air. He whimpered and tilted his head as Alec slowly ran his tongue against his skin. His hands ran down Magnus’ back and Magnus’ eyes widened as he felt Alec’s hands trailing down his butt. Alec was grinning and winning at their little game as his hands squeezed, pulling Magnus towards him. Magnus put more of his weight onto Alec, so that he was practically lying on top of him with his forearms flat on the ground. His arms were now either side of Alec’s head. He lifted his body slightly, leaving a space between them that was driving Alec mad. His feet were either side of Alec’s legs and he was stretched out over him, as if in a press up.

Alec was lost in his own actions, gently taking the skin of Magnus’ neck between his teeth. He bit down slightly before licking him again. Magnus’ arms shook as he tried to hold himself up. He pulled his neck away, still feeling where Alec had bitten, hoping that he would leave bruises there. Alec’s chest moved up and down quickly and his eyes sparkled as he rested his head back on the blanket. He whispered and Magnus tried not to laugh as Alec clutched his face. He sounded like he was bordering on crying, at the fact that they hadn’t kissed yet.

Alec let out a whimper. “Magnus. Please.”

Magnus lifted Alec’s head gently and pulled the blanket from under his head. Now with it gone, Alec was lying flat on his back. Magnus finally lowered himself, so that their bodies were touching from the bottom of their legs to the tops of their chests. Magnus pulled Alec’s hands from his face and pinned them flat against the ground. Alec moaned as Magnus rocked his hips against his own and pulled at his bottom lip with his teeth.

Magnus finally lost his resolve and kissed Alec full on the mouth. His tongue slipped through the gap in his lips and ran against Alec’s. Alec had told Magnus shyly once that he had never kissed anyone before him. Magnus found that a little hard to believe. He seemed like he really knew what he was doing. Alec’s tongue met his own and they fit perfectly together. Teeth, lips and bodies moving in perfect harmony. Magnus gasped as Alec hastily undid the buttons down his shirt and pulled it off over his shoulders.

Magnus rolled onto his back and pulled Alec down on top of him. Alec grinded his hips against Magnus’, wondering how anyone got anything else done when they could be doing this all day. Alec smiled and Magnus’ watched as Alec ran his hands down his chest in wonder. Alec moved downwards and ran his tongue over the lines on Magnus’ stomach. Magnus gasped and pulled Alec back up by his shirt, so that he was by his face again. Their kisses grew in speed and intensity until they were both moaning and gasping to catch their breath, inhaling and exhaling in perfect sync.

Alec’s hands were still against Magnus’ face as Magnus’ hands trailed down his sides. Alec was lying bonelessly on top of him. He gripped Alec’s shirt with his arms in an ‘X’ over Alec’s back. Alec was nodding in desperation, as Magnus tried to pull his shirt over his head. For a split second, the shirt caught on Alec’s chest port, reminding Magnus that they were not just two hormonal teenagers, they were two sick teenagers. One in remission and still having symptoms, and the other still with leukaemia. Magnus pulled his hands away as Alec continued to kiss him.

He moaned against Magnus’ mouth. “Please, Magnus. Don't stop.”

It broke his heart to do it, but Magnus ducked his head away, without meeting Alec’s eyes. “Alexander. We have to.”

He turned to look back at Alec. Alec was sheet white and panting. They both were. Magnus' head was pounding. Alec’s eyes teared up. He had wanted something like this-someone like this- for so long. He had never imagined both the wonder and soul crushing desperation that came with it.

Magnus spoke softly and rested his hand against Alec’s face. Alec leaned into his hand with his eyes closed. Magnus licked his lips. “Alec. I’m sorry.”

Alec opened his beautiful, hazel eyes and kissed Magnus' palm. “Don't be. I understand.”

Magnus kissed him once, softly. “Believe me… I want to. But this isn’t right. Neither of us are well enough and I don't want anything to be ruined. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. We’ll get there, okay? But only when we’re both healthy enough to enjoy it. ”

Alec smiled and rubbed their noses together before nodding. He grinned. “It’ll be amazing, huh?”

Magnus put his finger under Alec’s chin and kissed him once again, slowly. Their food remained uneaten and they would have to start heading back soon. It had gone completely dark and the stars were sparkling above them, in all their splendour.

Magnus ran his fingers down the side of Alec’s face. Alec closed his eyes and leaned into his touch.

Magnus smiled. “Yeah. It will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 You may have noticed (or not) that I've changed my tags and ratings a bit. It was a big decision to step up this fic and make it more slightly more mature, but I hope it'll be the right one. Massive thanks to my regular crew for patiently helping me out with this chapter. I love you guys <3


	16. My Promise to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maryse makes an interesting discovery, Simon has something he needs to tell Clary and Jace is quite literally 'putting out fires' for his siblings.
> 
> "If being crazy means living life as if it matters, then I don't mind being completely insane."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter 16:[ "I Won't Give Up."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cNhpIzUreI&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=18&t=0s)

“The weather is so beautiful today. It’s always nice to have good weather on the weekend.”

Magnus smiled as he sat down next to Maryse. The fountain was running as usual ,and the weather was hot and bright. The evening sun flowed in warm rays, through the glass in the ceiling, filling the foyer with warm light.

Magnus listened and took in the sounds of the hustle and bustle in the foyer. He knew Maryse liked to come down here while Alec was getting himself changed and things. As he had only just arrived, he had found her sitting there and contemplating things silently. The way Alec often did. He had actually been there all day but had just reluctantly gone home for dinner and returned.

Maryse nodded. “It is. I’d like to thank you for arranging for us to have dinner with your father yesterday. Him and Robert are getting along well and it’s really nice to see. Also, I heard from Jace about the movie tickets and I want him and Izzy to pay you back, okay?”

Magnus shook his head. “Honestly, it’s fine. I feel kind of bad though, for pushing everyone out yesterday, but I told you I wanted Alec to have some fresh air outside and to do something nice to cheer him up. I knew he wouldn’t agree if he thought that he was putting me above his family visiting, while you were all sitting at home. I hope no one is mad.”

Maryse laughed and hugged Magnus’ shoulder against her. “Magnus, Alec is a teenager. I’m sure he’d rather spend a few relaxed hours with his boyfriend than sit in a hospital bed and listen to his siblings talk about school and life outside. It’s okay to want time alone with him. It’s normal.”

Magnus nodded shyly, with a little smile. Maryse tilted her head to look at him.  “You really care about him. Don’t you?”

Magnus turned his head and smiled. “I love him. I hope that’s not weird of me to say to you.”

Maryse laughed, hugging him tightly. He’d never been a natural hugger, but he gently hugged her back.  “It’s not weird. It’s wonderful to hear. Alec was so troubled once with who he was. We went through months of him coming home upset and refusing to tell anyone what was bothering him. It reached a point where he broke down and it wasn’t pretty. He told us everything and finally everything was resolved. From then on, he was so much happier. All I wished from then was that he would find another man, eventually, who would make him feel happy and loved. I’m so glad he did.”  Maryse stood up and placed a hand on Magnus’ head. ”I think I left my purse by Alec’s bed, but I want to call Robert and check on the kids. Would you mind looking for it and I’ll meet you back here in a minute? I’ll buy you a hot chocolate or coffee, if you want.”

Magnus smiled and stood up. “Sure. If you don’t mind that is. I’ll go get it and meet you back here in say, ten minutes?”

***

The phone rang three times before the other end picked up. The voice that answered wasn’t Robert. There was a smoke alarm going off in the background.

Jace spoke casually through the sound of a dish cloth being waved. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, Jace… Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Dad is over Magnus’ house if you’re after him. Something about model trains. I dunno.”

Maryse moved her phone to the other ear. “Okay. Can you tell me why the smoke alarm is going off? It’s making me slightly worried.”

Jace spoke quickly. “Oh, yeah, that. It's all fine. We’ve just got to open a few windows and-” He shouted. “-Max! Max, you can’t eat that!”

Maryse spoke in a low voice. “Jace…”

“It’s fine. By the way, Izzy’s cooking list now no longer includes ham sandwiches… Gotta go!”

***

Magnus strolled into the ward. He had found that several of the patients kept their curtains closed. Everyone was asleep. He couldn’t blame them, he’d been the same when he was in hospital. He looked around for a second before finding which one was Alec’s. It was hard to figure out who’s hospital bay was who’s with the curtain’s all drawn.

He looked through the crack in the curtain, but Alec wasn’t there. He must still have been getting changed, or in the bathroom, or something. Magnus hummed tunefully as he opened the cabinet by Alec’s bed. The purse wasn’t in there. He pulled out one of the draws. Alec’s underwear were in there and he blushed before pushing it closed again.

There was a voice from behind him and Magnus’ heart jumped. A pair of arms were wrapped around him and he felt a chin resting on his shoulder.

Magnus smiled shyly. They had to keep their voices low. “Hi-oomph!” Magnus jumped as Alec started kissing his neck. “Well, hello there.”

He turned around and put his arms over Alec’s shoulders. He ran his hand over the back of Alec’s head. Alec placed his hands on Magnus’ waist and whispered in his ear with a low voice.  “Magnus? Are you trying to get into my pants?”

Magnus went up on his tip toes and brushed his nose against Alec’s, Alec went to kiss him, and he pulled his head back. He whispered quietly as he grinned and bit his lip.  “What if I was? What you going to do about it?”

Alec grinned wickedly, as he pushed Magnus backwards. It was probably cruel, but Alec sometimes took advantage of Magnus’ lack of balance. Magnus didn’t seem to be complaining as he fell backwards onto the bed and Alec dominated him by leaning over him.

Alec tended to sleep flat on his back, so the bed was completely level. Magnus smiled as his head was pushed back by the force of Alec’s kiss. Alec pulled at his hair as he kissed him messily and hungrily, Alec’s chin moving forwards, over and over again, in little motions, as he pinned Magnus' arms behind his head. Magnus had to break free and push him back for a second, so that he could catch a breath. He pulled Alec into him by his shirt.

Alec moaned quietly, relishing in the sound of Magnus’ gasps, as he pulled Magnus’ shirt over his head. He wasn’t messing around today. Magnus had thought that after yesterday, Alec would be tired or feeling slightly more satisfied at least. Apparently, it wasn’t the case. He was even worse, now that he had had a taste of the fun that they could have together. Magnus moved him over and stood up for a second. He pushed Alec, so he was now the one lying flat. Alec threw Magnus’ shirt to the bottom of the bed. Magnus leaned over him on the bed, holding himself up with his arms straight on either side of Alec’s head. He let go of some of his weight and ran his hand down the inside of Alec's leg. His nails scratched against Alec's  pants as his hand moved further upwards. They kissed quickly and desperately, urging each other on as their bodies moved and responded to one another. Alec lifted his head up and groaned his boyfriend's name, as his and Magnus’ tongues flowed against one another’s in quick succession. Magnus gasped. "Alexander..."

“You’re not going to find my purse in there-”

Magnus’ head shot around as he was still bent over Alec. “Ohmygod-”

Maryse crossed her arms as Magnus rushed to stand up. She pulled the curtains to make sure they were closed and reached over to the end of the bed. She grabbed Magnus’ shirt and he tried to hide a grin as Maryse chucked his shirt at his chest. He felt warmth in his cheeks but didn’t know if it was because of how quickly things were developing or the fact that they had been caught.

She whispered quietly. “Seriously, boys!? Have you got no shame?! This is a hospital for goodness sake!”

Alec leaned up on his elbows, not totally in control of what he was saying. He’d had another dose of his hormone medication today, in preparation for his chemo tomorrow. He was in a state of euphoria and was wondering if Magnus knew about it.

He tilted his head and smiled. “…Celebration of life?”

Maryse rolled her eyes as Magnus pulled his shirt down. He had expected Alec to look mortified at the prospect of his mother walking in to see his topless boyfriend on top of him and running his hand up his leg. He actually looked like he wanted to tell Maryse to leave, so that they could carry on.

Magnus smiled with his teeth clenched. “Sorry, Maryse.”

She whispered very quietly. “I understand that there are emotions at play here, and you’re both teenagers and this is all very new-”  Magnus held his hand up and nodded with his eyes closed. He didn’t need her to say any more. Alec was huffing loudly, flat on his back and pouting at Magnus while he rolled his eyes. Maryse ignored him.  “-but you can’t let this go too far.”

Alec shot up on his elbow’s and pointed to Magnus. “Don't even go there! He put a stop to that yesterday! I was enjoying myself perfectly well-”

Magnus shot forward and spoke as he held his hand over Alec’s mouth. “Ssshh! Alec!” His voice lowered. “Sorry. We’ll behave, I promise.”

Maryse nodded and her phone rang. She looked at the screen and back to the two young men. “I will be back in five minutes. And I mean it.”

She left without completely closing the curtains.

Magnus pulled his hand away. Alec had been licking it the entire time. He wiped it on his trouser leg as Alec stretched with his arms behind his head.  He pouted adorably and tilted his head. “Just one more little kiss?”

Magnus sighed and held up one finger. He knew he shouldn’t have been encouraging Alec, but he wanted everything as badly as he did.  “Just one. Your mom is right. You’re lucky it looks like everyone’s asleep. I’m leaving the curtain open, too.”

He walked over to Alec and watched as he grinned. Alec gestured him closer with his fingers and Magnus rolled his eyes, laughing as he leaned down.

Alec grabbed Magnus’ collar and pulled his lips against his own. Magnus sighed, melting into the Alec’s warmth and the feeling as Alec parted his lips with his tongue. Magnus gasped, nearly losing himself in the kiss, before he realised Alec was trailing his hands down to his butt again.

_ This was a very bad idea. _

***

“Clarrry! When you said to come over to watch a movie, I thought you meant Star Wars, not some chick flic!”

“We’ve watched Star Wars a million times, Si! Sit down and watch it!”

Simon sat down on the couch and crossed his arms. He was supposed to be working today, but Clary had persuaded him to have a day off. Now he wished she hadn’t.

When the movie was about half way through, Simon’s eyes teared up as one of the characters declared to his best friend that he was in love with him. He felt Clary tense. Their relationship had been sweet and brief, and they had parted on good terms, but it was still awkward at times ,when they got teased in school, or when someone mistook Simon for Clary’s boyfriend, when she came into the store.

Simon reached over Clary, to the arm of the chair. He picked up the remote for the DVD player and paused the screen. Clary looked at him.  “Si? What’s wrong?”

Simon sighed. “Clary. I have to tell you something.”

Clary turned slightly, as much as she could with her broken leg up.  “Are you okay?”

Simon nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. Good actually-”

Clary put her hand on his shoulder. “Then what is it?”

Simon looked down at his shaking hands and wrung them together.  “I know this might be a little awkward to talk about, considering- considering what we-we had- It doesn’t mean- doesn’t mean I’m going to have any less time or attention for you- you need to know that-”

Clary’s eyes lit up and she punched him lightly on the arm. “You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?!”

Simon lifted his head and smiled. “Yeah. She’s beautiful and really sweet, but she knows how to handle herself. It’s very new but I’m really enjoying spending time with her.”

Clary smiled. “Simon! I’m so happy for you! That’s fantastic! Have you been on any dates yet?!”

Simon grinned with his head down and pushed his glasses up his nose. “A few. We went to the movies and went to get ice cream. She loves anything chocolate, so we shared a sundae.”

Clary jumped up and down, or as much as she could on a couch, with a leg in a cast. “Simon!!”

Simon was blushing and trying to hide his smile. “I hope everything’s okay between us, Clary.”

She grinned. “Of course, it is!” She paused and Simon met her eyes. “Simon, I’ve got something to tell you too...”

***

Maryse walked back in with her phone in her hand. She had needed to speak on the phone for a good fifteen minutes and was half curious but half dreading what she was going to find. She knew that Alec and Magnus were crazy about one another, but she didn’t expect the degree of intensity in their relationship already. She already knew that she would have to set some ground rules for when Alec came home. She hoped that they weren’t rushing into things.

She walked in and the room was dark. She could see from the lack of light above the curtain that one of them had just left the little overhead light on. She was about to pull the curtains aside and shout about trying to create ambience in a hospital when she paused. She could just hear Magnus whispering. She looked around the curtain quietly.

The back of the bed had been put up slightly. Magnus was sitting in the middle of the bed. He had kicked his shoes off and was leaning back with his legs up. He was talking softly and running a hand over Alec’s short hair.

Alec was curled up and sleeping in his lap. Magnus spoke softly. He had one arm around Alec’s back. With the other, he was now using one finger to gently brush Alec’s cheek as he spoke.

“-and we can go to theme parks. We could go grocery shopping together. Go-karting, bowling, movies. I can put lights up in my backyard and we can slow dance under the stars." He paused. "There’s something you have to know, Alec.-” Maryse’s breathe caught and she touched her hand to her chest. Magnus was looking down and watching Alec’s eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. “-when you were really sick, I went to the hospital chapel. I lost my faith a long time ago, but I prayed that your bone marrow transplant would go well. I know you’re not totally better yet, but I’m so glad everything went okay. I found my faith again and I’m going to start going to church again, with my father. I love you so, so much Alec. I can’t wait for all our crazy adventures together. Our lives together, if you’ll have me.”

Maryse walked in while Magnus kissed Alec’s forehead. Alec was smiling in his sleep and their fingers were now laced together. Magnus looked up, startled for a second. Maryse held her finger to her lip. “Sssh. It’s okay.” She pointed to the chair. “Is it okay if I sit?” Magnus nodded and she took the chair.

She spoke softly. “He loves you so much, Magnus.”

Magnus looked down and smiled.  “I feel the same way.”

“The nurses might come around in a minute and say we need to leave. I’ll talk to them in a minute and ask if we can stay a little longer. It seems a crime to wake him up. I’ve never seen him look so relaxed.”

Magnus’ eyes teared up. “He just fell asleep while I was hugging him, and I scooped him up. Maryse, I can’t even explain to you- how much he means to me.”

“You don't have to. I can see it in your eyes. He feels the same way.”

“I wish there was something we could do. Like a celebration. Something happy to prove how much we mean to one another.”

Maryse smiled.  “Maybe there is.”

***

The next day, Maryse stood at the back of the chapel and watched on. She had found the priest and explained her idea. He smiled at her and looked to the front where Alec and Magnus were hugging one another. They were dressed in smart clothes but nothing too fancy.

“Thank you for doing the blessing. It means everything to them.”

Father Zachariah smiled. “It was no problem. I felt inspired after hearing word of them through the hospital. I wanted to help in any way I could. Have they got their words ready?”

Maryse smiled. The chapel was lit with softly glowing candles and flowers.  “Yep, I think they’re ready.” She smiled and opened the door. “I’ll see you later.”

Alec and Magnus broke apart as soft music played through the room. Father Zachariah approached them and clasped his hands together. “Are you ready?”

They both smiled and held each other’s hands. They had both spent all day in silence upstairs, writing and then learning their vows by heart. Grinning at each other, over their pieces of paper.

Father Zachariah held his hands up.

“Almighty God. We are gathered in front of you today, to give blessing to the love of Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood. We ask that you seek them friendship in times of happiness, and loving comfort in times of sadness. We give thanks today, for their first encounter, and every day it brings them in their future.” He paused for a second. “Would you like to say your vows?”

Magnus nodded and spoke as they held hands.

“Alexander Lightwood. Today, I give myself to you. I promise to encourage and inspire you. To laugh with you. And to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times. And in bad when everything seems hard." He grinned. "When our love is simple. And when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you. And to always hold you in my highest regard. These things I give to you today. And all the days of our lives.”

Alec smiled and let out a breath. Magnus nodded encouragingly and he spoke.

“Magnus Bane. I take you to be my best friend, my faithful partner and my one true love. I promise to encourage you, and inspire you, and to love you truly through both good times and in bad. I will forever be there to laugh with you, to lift you up, and to love you unconditionally. Through all of our adventures and all the days of our lives.”

Father Zachariah came forward with a small bowl. He placed a dot of water onto each of their heads, before bowing his own. “Lord, we thank you for your blessing. Let Alec and Magnus’ love for one another be a symbol and an inspiration to us all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	17. First Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the hottest night of the year, Alec is given an ultimatum. Is he going to play by the rules? Or is he going to take matters into his own hands?
> 
> "There is never a fire as strong as the one in the human heart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just adding a warning to this chapter. As the nature of Alec and Magnus' relationship develops, you will find that this is first NSFW chapter of this fic
> 
> Song for chapter 17:[ "I'm Yours."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QpXBUsBV0E&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=19&t=0s)

“Dad! Lift me higher!”

Max laughed as Robert swung him up to put the basketball in the hoop. Today was a baking hot, Monday afternoon. Max, Jace and Izzy had been in school all day and had just got home. Robert had taken Max out the back garden to play with the basketball hoop, while Jace did chores inside that he should have done a week ago. Izzy was sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet in, watching as Robert put Max on his shoulders and Max put the ball through the hoop.

Max shouted and waved as Robert set him down. “Izzy! Come play ball with us!”

Robert stretched with his hands on his back. “Moo, I think I’m getting too old for this.”

Max sat down on the floor and crossed his arms. Izzy towelled off her feet and walked over. “What’s his deal?”

Robert leaned over and patted Max’s head. “I think he misses being a little child. We all gotta grow up one day, kiddo.”

Max shook his head. “No. I don't miss being little.”

Robert crouched down. “Max, what is it?”

Max looked up at him. “I miss Alec, Dada. I miss him being home and reading bedtime stories to me.”

Max looked up as Robert stood up and smiled. Izzy looked on in confusion.

“What if I said that Alec was visiting today?”

Max and Izzy jumped up and down. Izzy clapped her hands. “Really?! That’s great!”

Robert smiled. “Yes, but just for one night to have his chemo at home. Mom is bringing him home now.”

***

“Are you excited to be coming home?” Maryse looked across the middle of the car. Alec was looking down and texting, grinning as he typed quickly and hit send.

“What?”

“I said ‘Are you excited to be coming home?'’”

Alec nodded and his phone buzzed again. He answered as he smiled at the screen. “Yeah, I mean as much as I can be. I still have to have chemo and the nurse come by, but it’s been so long- Oh.”

Maryse looked across, as she turned the steering wheel. “What is it?”

“Oh nothing. Just that Magnus’ dad is out of town for work until tomorrow. Magnus doesn’t know what to do because he’s not supposed to be alone, in case he has a seizure. Usually he calls his dad every so often so he can check he’s okay, but the place his dad is going won't have signal.”

Maryse rubbed her eyes with one hand. “Okay-” She took a deep breath “-this conversation has been on the cards for a while, but I’ll take the chance now, while it’s just us in the car.”

Alec looked over, trying to hide the shaking in his hands. “What is it?”

Maryse sighed. “I’ve seen how you and Magnus are together and I just want to have a conversation with you. Mother to son. Relationships are tricky, Alec, and there’s a lot of expectations. Even if you and Magnus decide that you want to take things further-”

Alec scowled and crossed his arms. “Whoa, Mom!- I am not having this conversation with you.”

Maryse let out a breath. “Yes, you are, Alec. You’re not getting out of this. Even if you and Magnus decide that you want to take things further, you have to remember that neither of you are at your full health and I don't want you to rush into things. Sex can be a wonderful and joyous thing-” Alec hit his head repeatably against the window. “-but it can also be frightening and neither of you should feel pressured until the time is right.”

Alec glanced over at her and blinked. “Are you done now?”

Maryse sighed. “I will let Magnus stay over ours tonight, on one condition.”

Alec’s ears pricked up. “Yes...?”

“While you are in my house, you have to be mindful of your behaviour. You have younger siblings around-”

Alec groaned. “-Trust me, Mom. If anything was going to happen between me and Magnus- I don’t think it would happen at home.”

“You say that now, but when the temptation is there, and everything is new and exciting-”

“Urrghh! Mommm!”

“I will let Magnus spend the night at ours-” Alec went to speak and she held her hand up. “-BUT you must keep your bedroom door open.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Serriousssly?” Alec groaned. “Okay, is that it?”

“And I want you to promise that you’ll practise safe sex when it does happen.”

Alec held up his hands and groaned. “Fineee. Can we talk about something else now?”

***

“Guys! Alec’s home!” Max ran to the door and pulled it open. He looked over as Alec walked up to the door. Maryse was further down the drive and closing the car. “Where’s your bag? I wanted to carry it into the house for you-”

Alec walked in and put his hand against Max’s face. “It’s only one night, Moo. I’ve got everything here, okay?” Max ran up the drive to see Maryse. Alec walked into the kitchen and was met by his other siblings. Izzy ran to hug him while Jace watched on silently. Izzy let Alec go and he watched Jace with his arm over her shoulder. “Come here.” Jace walked forward and Alec gathered him in a tight hug. “Jace I want to thank you prop-”

Jace smiled as he patted Alec on the back. “Don’t even mention it-”

“You saved my life.” He looked to Izzy. “You both did.”

Alec’s phone buzzed in his hand and he turned it to look at the screen. Max ran in and Jace spun him around before picking him up. Jace saw Alec turn his phone screen off as he hung his phone down by his side.

“That lover boy?”

Alec snorted, and Izzy rushed to put her hands over Max’s ears. Max batted them away. “It’s fine, Iz. I saw them hold hands before.”

Jace looked as Alec’s phone buzzed again. He gestured to the door. “Go answer it. We’re not going anywhere.”

Alec made his way upstairs quickly, or as quick as he could. He went into his room and pulled the door shut as he glanced around. It had been so long since he’d been home. Max must have been in there at some point because Alec found his old teddy, tucked up under the blanket.

He sat down on his bed and ran his hand over the tightly fitted covers. His bed was his favourite place in the world sometimes. A warm comfort when he needed to feel secure.

Alec sat back against his pillows and set his phone to video call. He waited for several seconds before Magnus picked up.

Magnus smiled as he held his phone up. Since today was so hot, he had decided to walk home from school. He finished slightly later than the Lightwoods did, so when he picked up, he was walking through the park.

Magnus smiled and winked. “Hey, Gorgeous. How’s it going?” He paused for several seconds when Alec didn’t reply. “Alec? Why is your mouth open...?”

Alec coughed with a dry mouth and tried to keep his cool. He giggled into his hand. “I’ve never seen you in your school uniform before…”

Magnus laughed as he looked down. “What? This? Trust me, there’s many more things that I look better in.”

“I’ll say.” Alec tried to wink but ended up blinking with both eyes. “Uh-Magnus? Are you free at the moment?”

“Yeah. I’m just walking home, and then I thought I’d make myself some dinner and then I’d drive down and see you.”

Alec grinned. “What if I said that you could come here and stay over?”

Magnus laughed. A shadow went over his face, as he walked past some trees. “Okay, I get that you like my uniform. I’m flattered. But that isn’t a good enough argument to encourage someone to let me sleep in your hospital bed.” Alec turned the phone screen round and back again. He smiled at the camera. “No way!! Are you at your house?!”

Alec nodded. “Just for the night. You are never going to believe this…my mom had ‘the talk’ with me in the car here.”

Magnus held his hand up. He plugged his headphones into the top of his phone and carried on walking. “No!!” He laughed. “How bad was it?!”

Alec laughed. “So bad! I told her about you being on your own- and you are never going to believe this- she said you can stay here tonight.”

Magnus rubbed his neck. “I’m grateful but I don't think Jace would appreciate sharing with me- I mean- I presume I could stay on the floor-”

Alec laughed. “That’s just it! She said you can stay in my room!”

Magnus looked confused. “Alexander. I don’t know what medication they’ve given you today, but you might need to speak with her again.”

“No, that’s just it! That’s what the conversation was about! She was going on about our ‘behaviour’ and how we have to respect younger siblings and all that -and I admit I kind of blanked at that point because you sent me that selfie-”

Magnus stopped walking as someone passed him. “Are you seriously suggesting that the same woman who interrupted our ‘happy time’ yesterday is letting her hormonal, teenage, son, spend the night in the same bed as his boyfriend while his little siblings are running around the house?”

Alec crossed his arms and pouted. “I am not hormonal.”

“Sure, you’re not, hunnie. I just had to put makeup on my neck this morning because I had an unfortunate run-in with a vampire. What were the conditions?”

***

After the nurse had been to do Alec’s chemo, he was curled up on the couch and watching TV. Everyone else was seated around the table because Alec didn’t want to eat again.

The doorbell rang and Robert got up to answer it. He walked in with Magnus and whispered. “He’s being difficult. Do you think you could persuade Alec to eat something?”

Alec carried on watching TV. Robert handed two plates to Magnus. One for him with chicken, carrots and mashed potatoes, and another with just mash for Alec. He would completely refuse anything else. Magnus went to sit down next to Alec, placing his own fork on his plate. Alec had the recliner up and scooted over for Magnus to sit next to him.

Magnus balanced the two plates on his lap and gave Alec a quick peck on the lips. “Hey, you okay?”

Alec nodded. “Yeah. How was school?”

Magnus picked up a forkful of mashed potatoes and put it into Alec’s mouth. Alec ate it as he waited for a reply. “It was okay. The weather was nice, so I had a lesson outside-” He paused and ate some of his own food before putting another forkful of mash into Alec’s mouth.

Alec nodded as he swallowed. “That’s good. Mom and Dad have filled up the pool for the first time this year. I wanted to go in because it’s so hot, but I can’t because of my immune system.”

Magnus carried on eating while Alec spoke. “You’ll always have time to use it. Maybe further into the summer when you're better and it’s not too hot to be outside-”

As time went on, everyone stared with their mouths open as Magnus and Alec talked amongst each other on the couch. Max whacked at his mash with a spoon. They had been arguing with Alec about eating for weeks, and he had just sat there and eaten a whole plateful.

Izzy laughed and whispered, gesturing her head to Magnus. “He can stick around.”

Robert put a forkful of food into his mouth. He looked out to the window. It was starting to get dark and was a school night, so he’d have to interrupt them in a minute and tell everyone it was time for bed.

Robert laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about that. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”

***

“Oh my God. It’s boiling. I thought it was supposed to cool down by sunset.”

Alec sat up in the bed. He had pyjama shorts and a t-shirt on, so he wasn’t as warm as Magnus was. “Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to bring long pyjamas.”

Magnus looked down at his top and played with the hem. “Alexander? Would it be okay if I slept without a shirt? It’s just-I don’t want to impose-but I think that if I wear one, I don't think I’m going to get to sleep.”

Alec smiled while looking down. “Magnus, trust me. If you don’t wear a shirt to bed, I can guarantee that neither of us are going to sleep.”

Magnus jumped off the bed and pulled his shirt over his head. Alec’s heart stopped for a second, as Magnus turned to put it on the chair, watching the graceful curves of his back, leading to his pyjama bottoms that sat low on his waist, and the muscles showing in his back while he stretched.

Magnus turned back and Alec blushed when he’d been caught staring. “What do you mean by that?”

Alec stood up for a second and walked over to the door. He pushed it to the latch and sauntered back over.

Magnus laughed and spoke quietly. “Surely you’re not suggesting that we sleep together while your family are all sleeping in the rooms across the hall?”

Alec sat down on the bed. “I didn’t say that. I just thought that maybe we could-make out a little- it doesn’t have to lead anywhere. Not until we’re both fit and ready.”

Magnus nodded as he sat back against the pillows. “I know we talked about it by the stream, but actually talking about it while we are sat here is a different thing. I agree though. It won’t be much fun for you if you’re sick.”

Alec licked his lips. “Okay there’s something I want to ask. You don’t have to answer but I was just wondering-“

“-You’re wondering if I’ve ever slept with anyone?”

Alec nodded with his head down. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to-”

Magnus sat up straighter. “Alexander. I want to be honest with you-” He paused. “I’ve done other stuff with both guys and girls but- I’ve never actually gone all the way. Is that okay?”

Alec laughed. “Is that okay? I don't care how many people you’ve been with. None of that matters to me. At least one of us should have an idea of how to do things. Maybe it’s a problem but I should tell you too-”

“I already know that you haven’t slept with anyone, Alexander.”

Alec crossed his arms and smirked. He’d have a good go at making Magnus regret saying that later. “How? Is it that obvious?”

Magnus shook his head. “I don't care how many people you haven’t been with. You told me that I was your first kiss, so you couldn’t have had sex with anyone. And trust me, Alexander, if anyone saw you, they would presume that you had takers lining up and down the street.”

Alec grinned mischievously and crawled over the bed. He sat down next to Magnus, and Magnus put his hand against Alec’s face, leaning over to kiss him softly. Alec smirked and pulled his head back before he could.

_“So that’s how it’s going to be, is it?”_

Magnus shoved Alec onto his back. The wind was knocked out of him as Magnus climbed over him and straddled his lap. Magnus went to kiss him, and Alec pursed his lips and turned his head to the side. It was strange that in such a short time together, Magnus had found that he was able to predict exactly what Alec was going to do. As Alec tried to hide a grin, Magnus’ ran his tongue up the side of Alec’s neck. Alec shivered and gasped under his breath, as Magnus sucked at the perfect spot between his neck and his collar bone.

Alec groaned as Magnus moved against him, shoving him slightly so that he fell on his side. Still with one leg over Alec, Magnus continued to kiss under Alec’s jaw while he ran his hands up the front of Alec’s T-shirt. Alec didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of taking it off, even though he was close to breaking, and pinned Magnus down to kiss him.

Magnus’ pupils widened in the darkening room, as Alec pulled his own shirt over his head. Despite being thinner because of his illness, Alec still had a beautiful and willowy form. Magnus had never seen Alec completely without a shirt, and that was the final barrier to his self-control.

Magnus climbed back on top of Alec and rammed their lips together. Their jaws moved backwards and forwards as Alec’s arms were pinned behind his head. Still being mindful of Alec’s port, Magnus ran his hands flat over Alec’s chest. His thumb moved in circles over Alec’s nipple and Alec gasped before switching them around and throwing Magnus underneath him.

Alec grinded his hips against Magnus’. Magnus gasped into his mouth and arched his back up to glide his hips against Alec’s, creating a perfect pressure and an amazing rhythm as they moved in unison together, feeling how much they wanted one another. Magnus moaned into Alec’s mouth as Alec pulled at his waist band. The tips of Alec’s fingers slipped below the cut of Magnus’ boxers.

They stopped kissing for a split second, and they locked eyes together. Alec licked his lips and spoke in a low voice. “Just because sleeping together will be too much for me, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have some fun.”

Magnus raised his eyebrows. “Is that okay?”

Alec put his hand against his face and kissed him softly. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Magnus grinned and nodded excitedly. They were still trying to keep their voices down, so they would have to be careful. He whispered before brushing his nose against Alec’s and kissing him lightly. “Okay then. That is, if you don't mind.”

Alec adjusted himself so that he was on his hands and knees over Magnus. Magnus tilted his head back and let out a quiet gasp as Alec kissed him and slowly slipped his hand into his pyjama bottoms. “Alexander…That feels so good.” Magnus groaned as Alec took him in his hand. Alec grinned at Magnus’ open mouthed expression, as his fingers danced, and he slowly moved his hand up and down. Magnus whimpered and tried to whisper, as Alec kissed the base of his neck. “Alexander…if this is going to carry on-ahh-ahh- then we might need to put some provisions in place.”

Alec grumbled into Magnus’ neck, as he pulled his hand out. “If you mean condoms, then I haven’t got any.”

Magnus chewed on the side of his mouth. “Jace might.”

***

Alec pulled the door shut with a bump and walked out into the hall. He didn’t know what time it was, but he was more than awake. He thought to himself as he tiptoed across the landing. Several of the floorboards creaked and thanks to Jace’s inability to let his siblings sleep in on Christmas day, Alec knew exactly which floorboards would make a sound if he stepped on them.

His heart was racing with adrenaline as he moved across the carpet. He hadn’t exactly expected a pillow wall tonight, but he still couldn’t actually believe that this was going to happen. He’d left Magnus with strict instructions to keep his hands out of his pants while he himself slipped out and across the hall.

Alec pushed Jace’s door with his fingers, racing for the door handle when it squeaked. He poked his head in. Jace was sleeping on his stomach with his head against his pillow. His arm was draped over his head and he was snoring softly.

Alec crept over and looked around the room. He didn’t think Jace had slept with any girls yet, he was only sixteen, but maybe that was just misguided optimism. However, Jace seemed like the kind of young man who was always prepared for any eventuality.

Alec looked over to him. With his head turned to face Jace, he pulled out the top draw. He repulsed himself by having to dig through Jace’s boxers and found himself panicking when he couldn’t find anything. There was a mumbled whisper from across the room and Alec jumped out of his skin. He looked over to Jace, who still had his eyes shut.

“In the closet, you idiot.”

Alec looked around with wide eyes. He could bargain with Jace later, but he didn’t want to leave Magnus on his own.

Jace had another door to his room that led to a small walk-in wardrobe. There was no light in there so Alec squinted as he tried to see where anything was. It was ironic that he had spent most of his life in a closet and now he was back in one, looking for a condom for his boyfriend. He lifted his arm up to move a box and his elbow hit against something, knocking it to the floor.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!”

“For fuck’s sake, Alec.” Jace stormed in, dragging his sleepy frame behind him. He rubbed his eyes as he reached to the bottom shelf and pulled out what looked like a black makeup bag. He shoved it into Alec’s arms, with his eyes half shut, and pushed him towards the door.

Alec’s face was red as Jace pushed him, his feet sliding over the floor. As Jace pushed him across his bedroom, Alec saw what he had picked up, from when it fell off the shelf. When he reached the door, Jace pushed him out and shoved the door closed as quietly as he could while still being annoyed. Alec stared at and turned the pink, fluffy diary in his hands. It had a little lock on the clasp and felt hearts on the cover. Alec stood, still facing the door with his mouth open. The door opened again and Jace snatched it back before shutting the door in Alec’s face.

“Give me that!”

***

Magnus laid down on Alec’s bed and twiddled his thumbs. It seemed like Alec had been gone forever but there was no fear or worry under the hum of excited energy that was coursing through him. The room was completely dark, but his eyes had adjusted to the light. Despite that, neither him or Alec had seen much of each other yet. He let his mind wonder with the thought of seeing Alec naked, and his body pulsed, as if in agreement.

He tapped his pinkie finger against his cheek and looked towards the door. Alec’s sheets were in a messy tangle and Magnus moved back and got under the covers. He patted the space next to him and wondered what was taking Alec so long.

He peered over to the door for a second and sat up with his knees bent. He bit into his cheek as he lifted up his waist band and chanced a peek at himself.

_Not bad…_

He looked towards the door and slid his hand into his pyjama bottoms. He ran his thumb over himself before cupping himself in his hand. He shut his eyes and smiled slightly as he guided his hand up and down, slowly. He heard a creak in the hallway, apparently Alec was done with silent creeping. Magnus jumped and his hand shot out of his pants. His breath caught when he realised that Alec had caught him touching himself. Alec walked in and pushed the door to the latch again. Technically, they could still say that they hadn’t shut the door. Although if they were found out, shutting the door would be the least of their problems.

Magnus’ cheeks turned red as Alec walked across the room. Alec jumped onto the bed and shoved his tongue against Magnus’ mouth. Magnus parted his lips and tilted his head up as Alec deepened the kiss. His hands cupped the back of Magnus’ head and grabbed his hair in his hands.

They broke apart. Magnus gasped to catch his breath, as Alec hissed mischievously in his ear. “You were supposed to wait for me. That’s my job.”

Magnus pulled Alec against him again. His knees were parted like a cradle and Alec lay between him as he kissed the side of his throat. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?”

Alec moved and bit Magnus’ bottom lip before leaving him go. He got up for a second and reached down to the bottom of the bed. Magnus already felt a cold emptiness without Alec lying against him. He pouted his lip and reached out his hands. “Alec, come back.”

Alec threw the case up to Magnus and he caught it with one hand. Magnus undid the zipper and looked into it. “Blimey, Jace. I know it was probably expected but-”

Alec crawled up the bed and leaned with one arm over Magnus to kiss him quickly. “Ssssh. How about we not talk about my brother while we're doing this?”

Magnus nodded. He looked through the case for a second and pulled a packet out before handing it to Alec. “Okay then, here we go. You ready?”

Alec smirked. “Are you?” He fumbled with the packet, trying to be suave, and accidentally threw it in the air before catching it again. Alec blushed with his hands over his face. Magnus brought them down to hold them.

“Alec, it’s okay. Breathe for a second. Do you want me to put it on?”

Alec shook his head. His hands were shaking. “No. I can do it. Sit back.”

Magnus reached over to the case. There was an unopened bottle in there and Magnus pulled open the lid. He pointed it towards Alec. “Lubricant. Put this on your hand when you’re ready.” Alec took the bottle and placed it next to them on the bed. Magnus parted his knees again and Alec lay over him. Their kisses grew wilder and more desperate. Magnus arched his back as Alec thrusted their hips together. He groaned into Alec’s shoulder as their bodies moved and responded against one another. “Alec, now might be a good time…”

Alec nodded, trying to get a word out. Even though he wanted tonight to be about Magnus, his own crotch was hard from the friction between their thin pyjama bottoms. He reached over and pulled the condom from the packet, glancing at Magnus’ lap before meeting his eyes. “Can I take your pants off?”

Magnus nodded desperately. “Yes, but quickly. Come on.”

Alec leaned over Magnus and kissed him as he hooked his thumbs in Magnus’ pyjama bottoms. His eyes lit up as he pulled them down and chucked them on the floor. “Ohmygod…Magnus.”

Magnus groaned. “Alexander, please.”

With a slight hesitation, Alec slid the condom onto his boyfriend. Magnus gasped as Alec trailed his hand from his chest, down his stomach and then finally to his crotch. There were a few seconds of pause where Alec picked up the lubrication and put some into his hand. Alec moved back to Magnus, moving his hand slowly at first, getting them into a rhythm that worked for them both. As their kisses increased in speed, so did the swiftness of Alec’s hand. Magnus gathered Alec’s blanket against his mouth and stifled a shout. “More, Alexander, more. Go faster-”

Alec groaned. “Magnus I can’t take this-the pressure- I want to take my shorts off-”

Magnus nodded. He was close to coming and it took every ounce of his defiance to stop for a second and pull Alec’s shorts down. Alec stood up and kicked them off. That was the final straw. Seeing Alec in front of him with no shorts was the point where his body gave into itself. He climaxed into the condom and Alec jumped onto the bed again to pump him with his hand. Magnus thrusted his hips in response to Alec’s grasp, his knuckles white as they gripped the bed. He grabbed one of Alec’s pillows and shoved his face into it as he screamed Alec’s name. “Alexander- Uggghh that feels so good-”

A minute later, as Magnus sat back and panted, Alec rolled onto his back and shook his head. “Magnus, please-” Magnus nodded and rushed back to the open case. Alec shook his head and sat up. “No. Sit behind me.”

Magnus stood up on the bed and almost ran to sit behind Alec. “Are you sure? It might get messy.”

Alec nodded desperately. “I want to feel your hands on me. Hurry-” Magnus moved over and sat with Alec between his legs. He put one arm around Alec’s neck, pulling him against him. Alec groaned as Magnus hesitated, pulling Alec’s thin blanket over his lap. “Please, Magnus-”

Magnus cupped his other hand around Alec. Alec gasped and shuddered with little thrusts as Magnus’ movements grew quicker. He alternated between slow, long, strokes and quick little gestures, until Alec was falling apart in his grip. Magnus teased at Alec’s reddening head with his thumb. Alec gasped as Magnus kissed his neck, his heart racing in time with Magnus’ pumps and the fear of anyone walking in at this moment. “Magnus, I’m close… ”

Magnus grinned. “You want me to stop?”

Alec shook his head with his eyes closed. Magnus pumped Alec quicker, and he let out a low throated moan. Alec arched his hips and Magnus felt warmth filling his hand. Alec’s head rolled to the side and his body twitched against Magnus’ as he groaned. “Uggh, Magnus, that’s the best thing I’ve ever felt.”

Magnus grinned. “I’m glad. You deserve it.”

After a few minutes, Alec relaxed into Magnus’ body. They both panted and Alec wiped his forehead with his arm. “That was incredible- we- we’ve got to do that again sometime.”

Magnus leaned his head over Alec’s shoulder and Alec turned his head to kiss him. “We will. But now you need rest. Come on.”

Magnus got up and walked around the bed. He removed the condom from himself and tied it. Alec lay flat on his back with his mouth open, as his chest raced up and down. Magnus leaned over Alec. “Alec? Are you okay?”

Alec nodded and held his thumb up.

Magnus looked around for a second before whispering. “Have you got any tissues?”

Without sitting up, Alec pointed to the bedside cabinet.

Magnus pulled a few out and wrapped the condom up. He grabbed his pyjama bottoms from the floor and pulled them on quickly. He chucked Alec’s shorts at him, as he finally sat up and ran his hand over his head. “I’m running out to the bin, okay? I’ll be literally a minute.” Alec nodded as he pulled his shorts on. His arms felt like jelly and it took him a good while to get them on again. By the time he had, Magnus had returned with two bottles of water from the kitchen. Alec’s eyes were fluttering as Magnus climbed under the covers next to him.

“Here.” Magnus pulled the cap off and passed Alec one of the bottles. “Sorry I took so long. I just went to the bathroom and washed my hands. We’ll have to come up with something tomorrow so we can both take a shower when we get up. You’ll have to change your sheets in the morning.”

Alec nodded as he drunk quickly from the bottle. He hadn’t realised how dry his mouth had gone. He panted. “Yeah, okay. It’s laundry day tomorrow anyway.” Magnus held his arm out and Alec relaxed against him. Alec snuggled his head into Magnus’ neck and spoke softly with his arm draped over Magnus’ chest. “Did I do a good job?”

Magnus smiled and kissed the side of Alec’s head. Alec’s breathing relaxed as he finally fell asleep. “Honey, you did an amazing job.”

***

Just before he had fallen asleep, Magnus had walked over and pulled the door open. In the morning, while carrying a laundry basket on her hip, Maryse stuck her head around the door and pouted with her hand touched to her chest.

During the night, Alec and Magnus had started spooning. Because of the heat in the room, Alec’s sheet was just resting over their waists’.  As they slept on their left sides, Magnus’ left arm was flat out across the pillow. Alec was sleeping on it, in the crook of Magnus’ arm, with his right fingers laced between Magnus’ left. Alec was smiling soundly in his sleep. Their legs were entwined, and Magnus’ right arm was over Alec’s waist, cuddling him protectively.

Maryse smiled as she pulled the door to the latch. The other kids would be up in a minute. It seemed like a special moment. Waking up for the first time together would be one of their many firsts. She didn’t want Alec and Magnus to be woken up or disturbed. She felt a slight relief that they had managed to keep some clothes on, even if not their tops. Perhaps Alec had actually listened to her advice, after all.

She made her way down the stairs with the basket on her hip. Robert was at the kitchen table and sipping coffee. It was his turn to take the kids to school and between the bickering that would come in the car, over music choices and the fact that Jace was never ready to go when everyone else was, he needed all the caffeine he could get.

Maryse walked in and set the basket down.

“Well?”

Maryse walked across the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. She sat down next to Robert with the mug in her hands. “All very quiet. There’s nothing to worry about. I just checked in and they’re still asleep.” She grinned into her coffee. “-Apparently Alec is ‘the little spoon’ after all.”

Robert exclaimed something like ‘dammit’ and reached into his pocket. He slid a dollar bill across the table, and they looked up as they heard movement upstairs.

***

Alec groaned as the early morning light flowed through his window. He grumbled as he moved his head against Magnus’ arm. A soft beeping went through the room and Magnus pulled his arm from under Alec’s head. He’d set an alarm for earlier than they needed to get up. His phone was in his bag, across the room and Magnus yawned as he walked over to switch it off.

When he came back, Alec was curled up in the warmth of his boyfriend’s side of the bed. Alec pouted as he held his arms out with his eyes still shut. “Here. Warm.”

Magnus walked back around to Alec’s side and sat down on the bed. He leaned over Alec and lifted his chin with his finger, before placing a gentle kiss on his mouth. “Morning, honey.”

Alec rolled onto his right side, inviting Magnus to lie behind him. Magnus’ curved himself around Alec’s back and fitted their legs together. Sliding his arm back under Alec's neck, he placed three slow kisses down it before kissing Alec’s collar bone.

Alec grumbled before turning around in Magnus’ hold. Alec licked his lips and Magnus’ breath caught as he opened his large and doe-like eyes. Alec grinned and buried his head in Magnus’ chest as he spoke. “That’s the best thing to wake up to, ever.”

Magnus closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Alec’s forehead. “What, morning kisses?”

Alec shook his head against Magnus’ chest, burying himself even further in to the warmth, and into Magnus’ sweet and boyish scent. “No. You. I want to wake up with you every day.”

Magnus turned his head to the side to yawn. “What, even with my messy hair and morning breath?”

Alec grinned as he mumbled and pulled his head back to look into Magnus’ eyes. “All of it.”

With his knee bent over Magnus, Alec draped his arm over Magnus’ chest. He tilted his chin up and planted little kisses along Magnus' mouth. He licked his own lips. “Last night was fun, huh?”

Magnus chuckled as he ran his thumb over Alec’s cheek. “It was. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

Alec grinned before kissing him softly again. “Really?”

Magnus smiled down, pulling Alec against him. “Really.”

Alec crawled over Magnus, so that he was lying flat on top of him. He rested his cheek against Magnus’ chest and listened to the thudding of his heart. He spoke sleepily. “Your heart is racing.”

Magnus smiled and Alec lifted his head up, to meet eyes with him. Alec placed his hands on either side of Magnus’ face. Magnus hands ran flat against the smooth skin of Alec’s back. “Yes, well, you have that effect on me.”

Forgetting about the door, Alec lifted his head and kissed Magnus deeply. They both groaned as their tongue’s met through their parted lips. Alec mumbled as his jaw moved forwards slowly, over and over again. Magnus’ hands moved down, and he pulled the covers over them both. He cupped Alec’s bottom in his hands as they began to stir against one another. As Alec gasped and went to say Magnus’ name, Magnus’ second alarm went off from the bedside table and Magnus groaned as he thumped his head back against the pillow. “Alec, we have to get up.”

Alec groaned as he rolled off and stood up. He stretched and Magnus moved to the end of the bed. He pulled at his waist one final time, to bring him close and kiss him gently. Alec turned around to pick up their shirts, grinning as he heard Magnus’ intake of breath. “Alexander? Has anyone ever told you how magnificent your ass is?”

Alec turned around and grinned. He put his hands against his face, excitedly. “Really?”

Magnus nodded as Alec walked over and kissed him again. Magnus lay down on the edge of the bed, pulling Alec over him. They sank into it until they heard footsteps across the landing and broke apart. Without any hesitation, Max ran into the room and jumped on the bed in his space pyjamas.

“How was your sleepover?!”

***

While Robert was upstairs, helping Max get ready for school, Jace and Izzy sat with their mother and started helping themselves to food. Maryse wondered why Jace had been so keen to get up early. He was in a good mood and chatted to Izzy as they both sat in their school uniforms. Izzy always got up really early, to do her hair and makeup before school.

There was toast stacked on two plates and large containers of cereal next to a jug of milk. Maryse turned her spoon over and chuckled to herself as Alec and Magnus walked into the room and sat down without meeting eyes with anyone.

Jace rubbed his hands together, slowly, like the cat who had got the cream. “Sleep well?”

Alec nodded with his head down. He offered the plate of toast to Magnus, before taking a piece for himself. “Yeah. A bit stuffy though. It was really hot. Say, that reminds me, Jace, how’s your writing going?”

Jace slunk back into his chair, as Izzy put a spoonful of cereal into her mouth before speaking. “It was! I had to get up in the night and open my window.” She paused as Maryse walked out and disappeared into the kitchen. She leaned over the table and whispered. “So, guys…” Alec and Magnus glanced at each other. “What was it like? Sharing a bed with someone you’re dating?” She gasped mockingly. “Did you snuggle up to one another?”

Jace brought his bowl to his mouth, to drink the milk in it. He met eyes with Alec, across the table. Izzy was passing a knife to Magnus. Jace sipped the milk and wiggled his eyebrows without breaking eye contact with him.

Alec blushed. “A little bit, I guess.”

Maryse walked into the room and Izzy laughed as she pointed at her brother. “Look, Mom! Alec’s blushing!”

Maryse laughed quietly as she shook her head. “Izzy, you are supposed to be adults and he is in a relationship. Don’t tease him.”

The room quietened for a moment and Jace looked between Magnus and his brother. Jace coughed, clearing his throat. “Umm, Alec?”

Alec lifted his head and his eyes widened. “Yeah?”

Jace wiped his mouth and set his napkin down. “You know my ‘pencil case’ I lent you yesterday?”

Alec raised one eyebrow. “No?”

“Sure, you do. The one you borrowed yesterday evening.”

Alec shook his head as Maryse and Izzy glanced between them. “No- I don’t remember-” Jace felt a slight bump as Magnus kicked Alec’s leg under the table. Alec’s face reddened slightly and he looked down, into his cereal. “OH! Oh, yeah- sure that ‘pencil case’. What about it?’”

Jace crossed his arms and glanced between the other two boys. He gestured with his hands. “I want it back!”                            

***

After everyone had eaten, Alec and Magnus were the only two left in their pyjamas. The nurse was coming by later to clean his port. The same one that had been there when Alec didn’t want Magnus to go before.

Alec’s ears pricked up as Magnus spoke quietly to Maryse. The temperature was going up already and today was going to be boiling again.

Magnus cleared his throat. “Maryse? It might be rude to ask but it’s so warm and I’m going to be in school all day. Could I bother you and ask if I can use your shower before I go? I’ll be really quick.”

Maryse laughed. “Sure, you can, sweetie. There’s guest towels in the cupboard at the top of the stairs.”

Magnus nodded and Alec followed as he walked from the room. Alec held his hand up as he trotted behind him. “I’ll just pop out for a sec and show him how the shower works.”

Maryse held her hand out and caught Alec’s waist. “No, you won’t. Nice try. You’ve got to get ready for the nurse to come by anyway. It was our deal if you were going to stay here until lunch.”

Alec groaned as Maryse snapped her fingers at Jace and pointed to the door. Jace rolled his eyes and followed while throwing his arms up in the air.

***

Jace pointed vaguely to the two parts on the shower that turned. “That one is for water pressure-” He pointed to the other one. “-that one is for temperature.”

Magnus crossed his arms. “Je- thanks. I never would have got that without your help.”

Jace tilted his head at him. “It wasn’t like you needed help. Mom just didn’t want Alec panting after you.”

Magnus lifted his chin. “We got a problem?”

Jace recoiled a bit. “No, no problem. I’m just making sure that we all understand our boundaries.”

Magnus scoffed. “Are you trying to give me the ‘big brother’ speech? You know that Alec is older than you, right?”

Jace shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. He’s my brother and I don’t want him getting hurt. Yes, he’s enjoying himself, but he’s also ill and vulnerable. I want to minimise any chance of him being hurt.”

Magnus gestured to the stool in the bathroom and Jace sat down without looking up. Magnus crouched down next to him. “Jace. Look at me.” Jace lifted his head. He hadn’t meant to be snappy. It was just that he was scared for Alec. He was already going through enough without the risk of having a broken heart on top of it.

Magnus sighed. “Jace, I want you to know that I would NEVER do anything to hurt Alec. Maybe when you find the one like I have, you’ll understand better. I can’t even explain to you how much I love your brother. I’m not ashamed of saying that. I absolutely promise you that I will protect him with my life, okay?”

Jace nodded and stood up. He patted Magnus on the back. “Good. Well, I better leave you to it then.”

He walked towards the door and Magnus caught his arm. “Jace?”

“Yeah?”

Magnus nodded. “Thanks for everything. For yesterday, I mean. Thanks for being cool about it and not saying anything.”

Jace patted his shoulder. “No problem. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.”

***

Alec stood in the doorway as his siblings were piled in the car. He spoke quietly as Maryse and Robert were around the other side, looking at one of the tires that Maryse thought looked a bit flat.

Alec leaned against the wall and held Magnus’ hands. He was in his school uniform, had styled his hair and applied a bit of makeup. Alec’s eyes skimmed over him as he listened to Jace and Izzy arguing from the back of the car. Just the one door was open.

Alec whispered quietly in Magnus’ ear. “I know you’ve just put that uniform on, but God- I wish I could be taking it off you right now.”

Magnus chuckled in his ear. “A lovely thought, but I do have to get going” He put his hand against the back of Alec’s head and kissed him softly. Alec moaned quietly and placed his hand against the side of Magnus' face.

Maryse walked around the car and shouted. “Okay, lovebirds! Let’s keep it PG or the neighbours will start talking!”

Alec laughed as he spoke quietly. “You visiting tonight?”

Magnus smiled. “You know it.”

Alec leaned to kiss him again and put his hand flat against Magnus’ chest. Once, he would have cared that his family were right there, but different things mattered to him now.

The two boys jumped apart as Jace grabbed the back of Magnus’ shirt.

“Let’s go! I’m not telling my class that I was late because my brother was rubbing gums with his boyfriend, on the doorstep.”

Magnus waved, winding up Jace by winking, as he was dragged to the car. Magnus pouted his lips and made a kissy face. “Love you, my little sugar lump!”

Alec pouted and puffed out his cheeks. “Love you! I’ll miss your squishy cheeks!”

Magnus winked again and shouted. “Which ones!?”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Ohmygod, you guys are gross. Get in the car, Magnus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 This was a long chapter and a bit frightening for me, as it was my first chapter of this type. I hope you enjoyed it.


	18. I Will Carry You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the family hit a bump in the road. They will need to closer now than ever before, but they find that they can get through anything, as long as they have each other.
> 
> "One of the greatest gifts a person can give another, is support."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @giftingclace was so kind to make a social media edit for Clary, which I thought was amazing. If you want to check it out, you can find it on her twitter,[ here.](https://twitter.com/giftingclace/status/1150248459963895813)
> 
> Song for chapter 18:[ "In Case You Don't Live Forever."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNTLk_6ngow&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=20&t=0s)

“Your phone is going off again.”

A few evenings later, Magnus was in his pyjamas, having dinner with his father, as his phone rang. His father was strict about having phones at the table, so instead of turning the screen over to view it, Magnus pressed the button on the side and started shovelling food down as quick as he could. He hadn’t felt like eating, but his father had insisted.

He had heaped about half of his pasta in his mouth, in the space of about twenty seconds, by the time the phone rang again. He looked at his father, with half it hanging from his mouth, and tilted his head. _Please?_

Asmodeus sighed and held up his hands.

Without his feet touching the floor, Magnus grabbed the phone and swallowed everything that was left in his mouth. He rushed upstairs to his room and shut the door behind himself.

The calls were from Maryse and not Alec...

His heart raced and his hands shook as he dialled the number back. The phone beeped to say that she was speaking with someone else and he paced back and forth as he dialled the number over and over again.

***

Asmodeus looked up from the table with his fork halfway to his mouth. Magnus ran in with his sneakers in his hands and threw them on the floor. He had put on a different T-shirt and was hopping on the floor in his boxers, and attempting to pull his pants on.

Asmodeus grinned into his bowl. He knew his son. Since Maryse had told him that Magnus had stayed at the Lightwood’s without asking the other day, Magnus had had a rosy glow, a shimmer in his eyes, and a permanent good mood. Asmodeus wouldn’t disrupt their short-lasting peace by bringing it up, but even though Magnus was sometimes reckless, he was a stickler for following the rules. Magnus could have driven up to his Aunt’s for the night if he absolutely had to. Going to the Lightwood’s house and spending the night without asking, and then not telling him about it, only added further to what Asmodeus had already suspected.

Asmodeus grinned as Magnus ran in and pulled at his laces. “I’m presuming that was your boyfriend, if you’re rushing out of here with no pants on.”

Magnus looked up as he did up his belt. His eyes went wide, and his cheeks flushed. He sat down on the floor and pulled his shoes on angrily. The second Asmodeus had said it, Magnus’ eyes teared up and he immediately regretted it. He could see something was wrong.

Magnus gritted his teeth as he pulled the second one on. He wiped his face with his hand and raced to grab the car keys off the table. “I have to go out.”

Asmodeus leaned over and put his hand over the keys. “Look Magnus, it’s not fair on me. I’ve hardly seen you the past few days- I need the keys because you didn’t go shopping like I asked yesterday-”

Magnus shouted. “I fell asleep at Alec’s bedside!! I didn’t think I would try and explain it to you. What would you know about loving someone like that?!”

Asmodeus recoiled but still continued to clutch the keys. He cleared his throat. “Magnus, we have to eat, and this was the last of what we had here. I need the car tonight.”

Magnus growled quietly, under his breath. “For your information, that was Alec’s mother. She rang five times and now I can’t get an answer. Alec has been ill the last two days and was up all of last night being sick and half delirious. You might think it’s not fair on you-” He pointed to his chest as his eyes teared up, accenting on each word. “-but I couldn’t stay there with him, even though it was destroying me! I haven’t slept in two days because I’ve been pacing with my phone! I took him my favourite, fluffy winter pyjamas last night because he was shivering and was crying out for me to hold him!” Magnus closed his eyes and counted to five slowly, before speaking quietly. “I have always let you have the car when we both want it, Father, so instead of making crude jokes about mine and my boyfriend’s sexual prowess, please- pleaseee- just this one time, Father, let me have the keys. You can have the keys any other time but-” He wiped his face as tears rolled down his cheeks and he practically begged. “-he is my world and I need to see that he’s okay.”

Asmodeus sighed and sat back. He slid the keys across the table. “Fine. Go. We’re going to have a serious talk when you get back”

Magnus grabbed the keys and turned around without his feet touching the ground. He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and threw his arms into it. He had a spare bag down by the door, with things he always took for Alec It was next to his school bag and he threw it over his shoulder as he raced to the car.

***

Maryse held her hand to her ear as she paced in the corridor. “No. Stay with the kids. I’ll call if I need you to get them here. I spoke with Andrew and Eleanor just in case, but they should all be okay together if you need to be here. Mmm-yes-yes-I know. Okay. Right I’ll call you straight away if anything changes. Okay. Bye. Yes, love you too.”

Maryse hung up the phone and sat down on the bench in the hallway. Alec had been having much stronger doses of chemotherapy lately, in the hopes that they could finally kick his cancer, once and for all. Over the last two days, he had been suffering from fevers, chills, sickness, weight loss, visions. The list went on.

Maryse rubbed her eyes and stood up. Her and Robert had been taking turns over the past few days to stay with Alec. The visiting hours could be wiggled around when a patient was as sick as he was. He’d also been crying and calling out, so the only way the nurses could get him to settle was by letting him go in his own side room and asking his parents if they didn’t mind staying. Maryse knew what Alec wanted, what he needed, but there was no way they could ask Magnus to stay with him all night. They all knew that he would do it in a heartbeat, but he worked and had school. They didn’t just want him to drop everything. Even though they knew he would.

Maryse walked down the corridor. Alec had been sensitive to light lately. The curtains were drawn, all around the room, and she opened the door a crack before peering inside. She couldn’t see Alec, or anything else for a moment, in the dark room. She peered around and her eyes widened. She pulled the door open quickly and her eyes teared up. She had her hand over her mouth and felt sick to her stomach.

“Oh my God.”

***

Not wanting to use her crutches, Clary had recently resorted to hopping around the house. She’d managed to persuade Simon to give her a few piggy backs lately, when she felt spontaneous and he happened to be over, but he had disappeared out and she didn’t know where he had gone. Now that her pain was under control, she would be able to go back to school on Monday. She was lucky that it was nearly summer because she couldn’t get her school pants over her cast and had needed to buy new skirts.

She hopped to the door as it was knocked again. “I’m coming! Chill your butt!” She pulled the keys down from the hook and opened the door. “Oh! Hi! Would you like to come in?”

Jace smiled as he walked through the door. His mother and father were swamped at the moment, so he’d taken himself and Max to have haircuts. He ran his fingers over his head. It was usually a more ‘traditional’ boyish style, but he’d had the sides shaved shorter and it had been left longer on the top. It was more edgy and definitely suited him more.

Clary smiled as she pushed the door shut. She blushed innocently as she spoke. “I like your haircut.”

“Thanks. I didn’t really need one, but Max was refusing to have his done. He needed one badly, so I went with him.”

Clary smiled. “Listen, I would offer you a drink, and we have cookies in the cupboard, but I can’t carry them without making a mess. If I go sit down, would you mind getting the cookies from in the cupboard that’s on the left? The right has plates and there’s juice boxes on the counter. Sorry we don’t have much else. My Mom and Luke have gone shopping.”

Jace smiled. “Yeah, sure. I’ll only be a minute.”

It took Jace two to find everything and another three to calm himself, stop shaking and get everything out. As he walked back into the living room with the plate in one hand, his bag over one shoulder, and the juice boxes in the other, he overtook Clary who had started hopping after sitting down on the stairs for a break. He set the stuff down on the little table by the couch and walked back. “Are you okay?”

Clary panted. “Yes. Fine. It’s- It’s just heavy and I- I’m catching my breath." Jace laughed as he went behind Clary and scooped her up. She screeched as he easily tossed her up in his arms and carried her across the carpet. “Watch my leg on the door!” Jace swerved, narrowly avoiding another trip to the hospital, and laughed as he moved sideways to get them through the door frame. Clary linked her hands. One around his shoulders and the other over his chest. She spoke sarcastically. “My hero! Do you frequent carrying princesses in distress?”

She had meant it as a joke, but as he set her down gently on the couch, there was an edge of awkwardness to it. Jace had been open with her about his past. Despite being young, he’d developed a reputation of having a number of girls around him at any given time. Never a girlfriend, but a harem of ladies who swooned at his very feet. “I don’t actually. That was a first. Juice box?”

He fumbled for a second to put the straw in one. He was trying to be cool, but he couldn’t get it out of the plastic wrap. Clary laughed as she held her hand out and Jace handed it to her. She opened it before handing it back and did the same with the other, for herself.

They tapped the juice boxes together and took a sip each.

Jace rubbed his head. Why was he so nervous? Jace Lightwood didn’t get nervous around girls. Perhaps he was coming down with something. Yeah, that must have been it.

“I thought I would end up bumping into your best friend if I came here earlier than usual.”

Clary took a sip of her drink. In a way of making sure they still had time for one another, on weekends, Simon saw the girl he was dating in the morning and Clary in the afternoon. On Sundays, he visited Clary in the morning and went out for the evening with the other girl. Clary did the opposite with Jace and it was working perfectly. Simon was supposed to be there now, but he’d picked up an extra shift or something. It happened sometimes. She didn't know why Jace had spontaneously visited.

Clary offered Jace a biscuit and took one for herself. “He might be working? I have no idea. Either that or he heard that you were coming by and he ran off. He is a bit skittish.”

Jace laughed as he bit into a cookie. “I’m not threatening. I just want to meet the guy who mowed down the girl I’m seeing.”

Clary held her arms up. “Thank you! Although I think you might scare him a bit. He’s kind of nerdy and a little awkward until he gets to know people. One of the best people I know though. I think you’ll get along. Eventually anyway.”

Jace nodded and set his cookie down on the plate. “I forgot! This- is yours.”

He reached into his bag on the floor and Clary held her hands out. There was a little key on a string, around his neck, and he pulled it over his head.

“My book! What did you think?!”

Jace ran his hands over the fluffy cover and passed it to her with the key. “Your drawings are absolutely incredible! Why do you keep a lock on it?! The world needs to see these!”

Clary smiled shyly. “I mean, I draw in school, but these are different. Not even Simon knows about these. It’s something that only I know about and I draw in there once everyone’s gone to sleep.”

Jace laughed. “You showed me.”

“I guess I did. I trust you though. You showed me those recordings of you playing the piano. The songs you wrote yourself that you don’t let anyone know about.” She hopped down the couch and dug in the back of the draw that was next to it. She put her hand to the back and pulled out a white envelope. “Here.”

Jace took it and opened it up. Inside was another key on a string. “I don’t understand.”

“I want you to have the other key." She laughed. "Don't worry, you don’t have to wear it-”

Jace put it around his neck quickly. “No, I want to! Here-” He reached into his bag and pulled out his house keys. On the keys were two USB sticks and he pulled one off. Clary watched as he took her own key in his hand and threaded the USB stick onto it. “My songs. You’ll find a file on it called ‘Music for Clary.’ I’ve written a few and recorded them. I was hoping to keep it a surprise until your birthday, but I was going to cave soon anyway.”

Clary hopped over and hugged him tightly. Jace jumped before hugging her back. She lifted her head from her chest and looked into his eyes. She placed a hand against Jace’s face, and he smiled as they lent their heads forwards. The front door opened, and they sprung apart to opposite ends of the couch as Luke shouted. “We’re homeeee!!”

Clary sat back and bit her lip. She rolled her eyes and shouted sarcastically. “Great!!”

***

Magnus raced down the corridor with his bag in his hands. He ran into the communal room and a confused girl on a drip stared back from Alec’s old cubicle.

Magnus’ eyes darted around and all of the heads in the room followed as he darted back out again. He ran to the nurses’ station and put his hands on the counter. “Where’s Alexander?!”

“Magnus-”

Magnus turned around at the sound of Maryse’s voice. His eyes widened. Her sleeves were rolled up and she had her arms held up in the air. The front of her clothes, her arms, her neck, were all covered in blood.

Magnus nearly fainted. “What happened?!”

Tears filled her eyes.

“Alec yanked his cannula out of his arm. They’re trying to calm him down and stop it bleeding but he’s crying, and I can’t stay in there and watch it. He won’t listen to me. He’s losing blood and I don’t know what to do.”

Magnus looked past her. Tears were rolling down her face. He hated blood.

“I’ll go.”

“Magnus, you can’t-”

“You can’t stop me.”

Magnus shot past her. The door to one of the side rooms had been left open in the panic and as he stuck his head in, two nurses we’re trying to talk to Alec who was crying in a ball in the corner.

Magnus swallowed a gasp and put his hand over his mouth. His face already had tears running down it.

One of the nurses turned around and shook her head. She would have shouted but Alec was frightened enough already. “You can’t be in here-”

Magnus walked forwards and held his hands up. The two nurses were also covered in blood and were trying to persuade Alec to uncurl and lift his head, so that they could get to his hand.

“I’m his boyfriend. Please, let me talk to him.”

One of the nurses shook her head and started to speak. He didn't recognise her but the other was the sweet one that he already knew. “Let him try. He needs all the blood he has. He can’t lose any more.”

The nurses stepped back and Magnus rushed forwards, onto his knees on the floor. He placed a hand on Alec’s head and spoke softly. “Alec, sweetie-”

“I want Magnus-”

“It is me- look.”

Alec stopped rocking for a second and glanced up. He’d lost so much weight in the past few days and his face was pale. His eyes were red and bloodshot. He murmured, barely audible and let out a shaky breath as he spoke quietly. “Magnus…I don’t understand what’s happening.”

Magnus moved forwards on his knees. He’d thrown old clothes on anyway but would have surrendered his best Sunday clothes to comfort Alec. He spoke softly and quietly. “Hey. Alec? Tell me my vows to you. You learned them, remember? After our blessing?”

Alec spluttered with tears as he spoke. He’d been off his head lately, between his condition and his medication. Magnus had expected a few words, in order for Alec to focus, but he recited it perfectly. “Alexander Lightwood- Today-today I give myself to you-”

Magnus nodded encouragingly. “Yes. That’s it. What’s next?”

“I promise to encourage and inspire you. To laugh with you. And to comfort you in time- to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.”

Magnus ran his hand over Alec’s head. Magnus said the next line. “I promise to love you in good times. And in bad, when everything seems hard.”

Alec lifted his head and uncurled slightly. “When our love is simple. And when it is an effort.”

Magnus leaned over and pressed his lips to his forehead before speaking. “I-” His voice cracked. “I promise to cherish you. And to always hold you in my highest regard.”

Alec pulled his bleeding hand out and reached it out for Magnus to hold. One of the nurses rushed forward with a sterile cloth and Magnus pressed it firmly to his hand. They spoke the last lines together.

“These things I give to you today. And all the days of our lives.”

“These things I give to you today. And all the days of our lives.”

Maryse walked back in the door and stood between the nurses. She had dreaded what she was going to find but found Alec sitting quietly while Magnus held the gauze tightly against his hand and spoke softly. “There you go. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus looked under the dressing and turned to them all. There was blood up his arms, on his shirt, and on his knees where he leaned. Maryse was wearing hospital scrubs that one of Alec’s nurses had given her to change into. They’d have to find some for Magnus somehow because he couldn’t go home like that. “The bleeding is stopping.”

Both of the nurses, and Maryse, breathed a sigh of relief. Maryse crouched down and held her hand out to her son. “Come on Alec. Let’s get you up. The nurses need to take you and get you cleaned up.”

Alec shook his head and curled up again. “No. Not happening.”

Maryse looked desperately to Magnus. She hated that she wasn’t Alec’s main source of comfort anymore, but he was growing up and she had to accept it. Things were shifting with all of them and she knew that Alec loved Magnus more than anyone else in the world.

She turned to look at the two nurses and held up her hand as they all thought the same thing. “Magnus-”

“I’ll do it if you want- I don’t mind.”

Maryse sighed and looked at Alec with her hand on his face. “Alec, you need to be cleaned up. Just your arms and we can get you changed”

“No. No nurses! I can do it. I’ll walk.”

Alec stood up slowly and Maryse held her hands out. Alec’s knees buckled underneath him and he fell against Magnus.

***

The front door made a noise as it was closed. Robert glanced over from where he was standing. Jace was walking in, eating from a box of chocolates. Robert creased his eyebrows at his son, as he walked in while stuffing his face. “Where the hell did you get those?”

Jace bit into one and put the other half back when he realised it was a coconut one. “Some nerdy jackass with glasses just turned up on the doorstep with them, asking for Izzy. Don’t worry, I was a good brother and told him where to go.”

Izzy walked from behind Robert with her hand over her mouth. Jace met her eyes over Robert’s shoulder.

Robert shook his head. “Jace, I appreciate you being all ‘big brother’, but Izzy can take care-”

Izzy had tears down her face. She ran past, hitting the box out of Jace’s hand and shot out of the front door without her shoes on.

Jace looked at Robert and bent down to pick up the box. He spoke as he picked several of them up. “I know she’s funny about her reputation, but she didn’t need to chase after him. I’ve already had a word and I don’t think he’ll be bothering her any time soon.”

Robert picked one up and looked at it for a second. His eyes went wide. “Jace? Didn't you wonder where Izzy had been getting her candy from?”

Jace looked up. “Ohmygod, what have I done now?"

***

“Simon! Wait!”

Simon stopped walking in the middle of the street. He spoke with his head down. “So, I met your brother. Smashing guy.”

Izzy walked around him on her toes. The gravel of the pavement was digging into her feet. “I’m really sorry! He’s just protective.”

Simon softened and laughed. “It’s fine. Honestly. I have an older sister and I’m protective of her.” He laughed. “When I left, your little brother gestured with a ‘watching you’ sign in the window.

Izzy put her hands against her face. “He didn’t?! Oh, they are both so going to get it later.”

Simon laughed. “You’ve got two very protective brothers, by the looks of things. I'm fine. I was just going to call you later”

There was a bench just a bit further down and Izzy gestured for Simon to follow her to it. She balanced with her bare feet on the pavement. This was nothing compared to a long night out in heels.

They sat down and Simon watched expectantly. “You know how when we met that I was buying my little brother a lollipop? Because my older brother was in hospital?”

Simon nodded. “Yeah. That was him, right? You told me the other day that he was coming home.”

Izzy put her head in her hands for a second. She was doing everything to keep herself together. The past few months had been so difficult, and Alec had been so ill the past few days. She didn’t want to upset Simon, or make him feel bad, but it was time for her to open up a bit.

“The little one was Max. He’s seven. He loves hugs and helping Mom when she’s cooking. He can’t sleep if he eats red candy before bed.” Simon smiled and Izzy carried on.“My older brother is Jace. He’s sixteen. He’s stubborn and winds me up, but I love him despite it. My parents took him in when he was three after- after his parents passed away in a car accident. They were my parents’ friends and they had known them since high school.”

Simon smiled sadly. “I’m sorry to hear that, Iz. Your brothers sound wonderful though. Maybe I could meet them properly sometime?”

Izzy sighed and met his eyes for the first time since they had sat down. “And the third…”

Simon looked at her with a gentle expression. “You have three brothers? Your house must get crazy.”

Izzy shook her head. “No, Alec’s not home at the moment.”

Simon’s heart rate picked up, being careful in case he said something wrong. “Does he live away?”

Izzy shook her head. “No-um. He’s in the hospital.”

Simon sat back. “Oh. Is he alright?”

Izzy shook her head and tears filled her eyes. Simon moved next to her and awkwardly put his arm over her shoulder, relaxing when she leaned into him with her arm around his waist. “He’s so ill, Simon. He’s-” She sniffed as her voice croaked. “He’s got leukaemia. The reason Jace was in hospital was because he gave him his bone marrow. Jace saved him but between that and the medication, he’s really sick. My mom spends nearly all the time at the hospital, and I can’t talk to my brothers or my father like I speak to her. I’ve been holding it together for so long. I mean I try and be there for them all-”

Simon pulled her arm out and tilted her chin for her to look at him. “Hey, Iz. Listen, I’m sorry about your brother. You don’t have to be strong all the time-”

Izzy shook her head and wiped her eyes. She was still so cross at Jace for nearly driving Simon away. If it wasn’t for his sweet and forgiving nature, she was sure he would have. “I do though. If I don’t keep it together, then who’s going to be there for me?”

Simon hugged her tightly and bumped their heads together. “I will. I’ll be there for you.”

***

“How was staying over Tavvy’s? Jace raced the car around the corner of the screen. Max followed closely behind as they raced over the line.

“It was fun. His big brothers made us pancakes and syrup-” Jace took a sip of his drink while Max carried on speaking.“-Tavvy’s dad got mad because Tavvy’s big brothers were wrestling on the couch and broke a cup.” Jace nodded as he continued drinking. The door opened and Max got up to see who it was. He spoke casually as he walked around the couch. “Alec and Magnus wrestled at their sleepover-”

Jace spat out his drink and shot up. He ran in front of Max as the door opened. Just as he did, Izzy walked in with her arms crossed. “Jaceee!! You complete and utter dipshit!!”

Jace grabbed Max under the arms and lifted him up. “Ugh, I know! I’m the worst- I just need to speak with Max a second-”

“No! You’ll speak with me!!”

Max kicked at Jace and struggled to be put down. “Let me go!”

“I’m really sorry, Iz. It’s important.”

Jace threw Max up and ran upstairs with him over his shoulder. He ran to him room and chucked Max onto his bed. “What did you see?!”

Max sat back with wide eyes. “What do you mean?!”

Jace’s heart was racing. He took a breath for a second and calmed down. Shouting at Max wouldn’t get them anywhere. “At Alec’s- sleepover – what happened.”

Max sat back. “Nothing! My teddy was in his room and I can’t sleep without it. They were sleeping and Alec and Magnus’ tops were on the floor. I remembered that we used to take our tops off; last summer when we wrestled in the garden.”

Jace let out a breath. “They were sleeping?”

“Yeah. Alec was sleeping one side and Magnus was sleeping on the other. I didn’t wake them up. Honest.”

Jace sat down on the bed. “Listen Max. You’ve slept without a top on before? It was really hot that night, wasn’t it?”

Max nodded. “Yeah. So, they weren’t wrestling?”

Jace shook his head, as his heart started to go back down to a normal level. “No. They weren’t. Alec is still sick. Remember?”

Max nodded. “Maybe I shouldn’t say anything. It might upset him if he’s too sick. Right?”

Jace lay back on the bed and let out a breath. “Yeah. Let's just keep it between us."

***

Magnus half walked with, half dragged Alec down the hospital corridor. He hated to think how awful they both looked.

His eyes avoided the glass as Alec’s feet started dragging. He stumbled and Magnus stopped for a second, so he could get his footing.

“It’s just down the corridor, Alec. You said you didn’t want a-”

“No chair! I don’t want it.”

The door to the bathroom was just in reach now. He’d been offered help but had insisted he was fine. They only needed to clean their arms and change their clothes really. Just clean up a bit and then Alec could go back to bed and try and get some rest.

Magnus pushed the door open with his foot, pulling Alec behind him. His own hands were tingling from the effort of helping Alec to the bathroom. Magnus set him down gently on the chair and held his blood covered arms up. “I’m going to put some water in the bath. You only have to sit on the edge with your feet in and I’ll sort you out with a cloth, okay?”

Alec stared down at and rubbed the dry blood on the top of his arms. Cannulas didn’t usually bleed that bad, but Alec had done a good job of pulling it out. That and the fact that his blood platelet count was low, and their purpose was to help with blood clotting. “I don’t like it.”

Magnus turned around softly, to look at Alec as his hand swilled at the water. “I know. Just give me two seconds.”

When there was a few inches of water, Magnus walked back over and held out his hand. The last two days of hell were finally taking their toll on Alec and his eyes flittered from where he sat in the chair. He pouted his bottom lip and held his arms out.

Magnus sighed, “come on” ,and scooped Alec up. He was so much lighter than Magnus remembered, and he wished that he was carrying him over the stream again. Not to the clinical looking bath, in a room adjoining the hospital corridor.

He set Alec down on the edge of the bath, with his feet on the bathroom floor. Magnus kicked off his sneakers and chucked them to the side. He bit his lip. How had he gotten himself into this? How had both of them? Alec was still clutching at the blood that went under his short pyjama top.

Magnus leaned down and rolled up the bottom of Alec's pants. Alec watched on sleepily as Magnus did the same to his own. Magnus only had a bit of blood on his shirt, but Alec’s would have to be taken off in order to sort himself out and clean the tops of his arms.

Magnus gestured for Alec to hold up his arms. Alec did as he was told and Magnus gently lifted his shirt over his head, trying not to gasp at his visible ribs and collar bones. Magnus scooped him up again and lifted him before setting him down so that he was sitting over the end of the bath with his feet in the water.

Magnus crouched down in front of him. The water just low enough so it didn’t soak his pants. Alec held out his arms and Magnus worked silently, with a cloth and a bar of soap, to remove the dried blood without hurting him. Alec remained silent and then murmured as Magnus nearly finished. The water in the bath was stained pink. “Your hands.”

Magnus looked at him. “My hands are fine, Alexander.”

Alec shook his head, pointing to the cloth.

Magnus sat down next to him and passed Alec the bar of soap. Alec sniffled quietly as he turned the bar between his hands and took Magnus’.

Magnus watched silently as Alec cleaned his own blood from his hands. He didn’t know anything he could say. He felt that anything he could say would end up making things worse somehow.

Alec broke the silence, as he set the bar down. “I’m sorry.”

Magnus turned to him. He put his arm over him and kissed his forehead. “You have nothing, nothing, to apologise for Alec.”

“You shouldn’t be here with me-”

“I told you it’s fine. It’s what you and I do for-”

Alec sobbed into his hands. “No. You shouldn’t be here with me! You’re better now! You don’t need this! You should be far away from here, living life to the fullest. Not stuck in a bathroom and cleaning me up like a child. You should have someone else-”

Magnus shook his head and stepped over the bath. Alec groaned as he lifted him and carried him across the room, setting him down in the chair. Magnus grabbed a towel from the holder on the wall and wiped at Alec’s hands.

“Alexander, listen to me. There is no one else for me, okay! You are the person I want to be with! All I’ve ever wanted, since the day by that damn fountain, is to be by your side. What about our vows? In sickness and in health? You are the person I am going to spend my life with, so stop feeling sorry for me!” Tears were running in trails down Magnus' face as he stood up. He gathered Alec’s head against him, and Alec put his arms around Magnus' shoulders. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. You are the only person I have ever loved and ever will love, Alec. Let’s just focus on getting you better so we can go and see the world, okay?”

Alec sniffled as they broke apart. He put his hand on Magnus’ face. “Magnus, you are my world.”

***

Asmodeus looked up as Magnus walked in. He was wearing poorly fitting hospital scrubs and looked exhausted. Asmodeus had been waiting on the couch for hours with no answers as Magnus had forgotten his phone.

Magnus slipped into the living area. “Hey, Dad. You okay?”

Asmodeus tapped the seat next to him. “Is Alec okay?”

“He’s fine. He’d just pulled his cannula out of his arm and I got blood on my clothes. What are you looking at?”

Asmodeus had a smooth black box in his hands. He ran one of them over it. There was an ‘A’ on the lid. He pulled the lid up and Magnus watched closely. “There’s something I have to tell you. I’ve needed to for so long. I was going to, and then you got sick and I was waiting for the right moment. That time has come.”

Magnus looked over at the box. He could see papers, but they were all folded or in envelopes. There was something else at the bottom. “Okay, Dad. You’re freaking me out.”

Asmodeus sighed. “When we argued earlier, you asked me what I knew about loving someone the way you love Alec.”

Magnus hung his head. “I know-I’m sorry.”

“I did love someone once in that way. And I always will.”

Magnus looked at him. “Who?”

“Your mother.”

Magnus looked around the room. As long as he’d been alive, his mother had never been mentioned in their house. He’d always presumed that his dad had been left with him as a baby or something. Something he was too ashamed to talk about. Now he wasn’t so sure...

“Magnus, this is not going to be easy for you to hear. We’ll get through it, but we need to start being there for each other.” He took a note out and folded it in his hand. He passed the rest of the box to Magnus. “It’s time I told you your story… Our story.”

Magnus sat back and listened without looking in the box.

“Her name was Aminah. Her name means 'to feel safe'. She was beautiful, Magnus. A beautiful soul as well as a beautiful face.” He reached into the box and pulled out a square locket. He undid the clasp and passed it to Magnus. The picture showed a boy and girl, younger than Magnus was. The boy had dark hair and a chiselled face. He was smiling at the camera as a beautiful young girl, with ebony black hair, kissed his cheek with her eyes closed.

“We grew up in Sukoharjo. The capital of the Central Java province In Indonesia. Your mother grew up in a family that came from nothing. They worked hard and made good luck charms, central to countries all over the world. They sold them to tourists when they could, but the city wasn’t as evolved as it is now. Your mother was one of many children. She used to tell me stories, when we played together after school. Her two older sisters were married off to wealthy, older men, and she knew that the day would come when the same would happen to her.”

Magnus looked down and ran his thumb over the picture. Asmodeus reached into the box again and pulled out a red object and handed it to him.

“That one is your mother’s omamori. When he were fifteen, she caught sight of it on the table and brought it to show me. We’d been meeting in secret, but she’d heard plans of an arranged marriage between herself and some man that she didn’t know. She brought the charm to me and told me to keep it. A goodbye gift of sorts because she knew she’d be expected to move away. Marriages like that were next day things then. The next day was her sixteenth birthday and like an object, she would be owned, by sundown the next day. I had known her since my first day of school and I had no intentions of letting her go. My family were reasonably well off, but not enough so for her family to agree to her being with me. I came from a close knit family and they tried to help, but her family always found out and it made things worse for her.”

Magnus looked down, expecting his dad to look upset. “What happened?”

Asmodeus smiled.

“We ran away together. We were barely adults, but we knew what we wanted. I helped her climb down from her window that night and left everything we knew behind.”

Magnus looked at him. “You just left your family?”

“I did. We lived where we could. I managed to find little jobs and your mother loved kids, so she used to look after children for other people. When we had enough money between us, we caught the first plane we could to this country and never looked back.”

“A pretty crazy decision.” Magnus laughed.

“There was no other option. It’s what you do when you love someone like that.”

Magnus nodded and smiled shyly.

“I started out by cleaning computer monitors. I built my way up, one day at a time. Getting promoted until I set up my own programming business. This was years later, and everything was perfect. We had the perfect house, clothes, food. Everything we were once deprived of. Everything that we have here now is something that was created with only the hard work and the love we had for one another.”

“Sounds like it couldn’t have been better.” Magnus smiled.

“It did for a short while. We found out that she was pregnant with you. There’s something you should know, Magnus. It was what I was going to tell you two years ago.”

Magnus looked at him with concern. It had gotten dark and shadows were cast over both of their faces.

“I couldn’t tell you once you were diagnosed. It would have terrified you. We researched, didn’t we? When you were diagnosed.”

Magnus nodded, remembering it well. “Yes, Father. It’s just a horrible lottery really.”

Asmodeus sighed. It was too late to turn back now. “It can also be genetic. There’s a faulty gene that can make cancer more likely-”

Magnus’ eyes teared up. “No.”

Asmodeus nodded.

“When your mother was five months pregnant, she started having headaches, vision problems, mood swings. She dismissed it because they can be pregnancy symptoms. I suspected something was wrong and she was checked. Glioblastoma. Grade three. The same as you had.”

Magnus looked at him as tears rolled down both of their faces. His lip wobbled. “She passed away?”

“You know how quickly they grow. When she was eight months pregnant, they delivered you early and she took every invasive treatment she could. It was tragic. I begged her not to spend her limited time in agony and sickness because I knew there was nothing we could do. Everyone did. But she wanted to fight it with everything she had. She loved you so much. She used to clutch you against her as she sorted out all her affairs-” He laughed. “She never set you down. She used to sing lullabies to you that I knew she had never had sung to her. Because of the horrific treatments, she lived to celebrate your six week birthday with me.”

Magnus rubbed at his eyes.

“I lost her a few days later. She was at home and she slipped away peacefully in her sleep, with you soundly on her chest. She was in her own bed and despite everything, she passed away still beautiful and with a sweet smile on her face. The same that I first saw in the school yard, when I was four, when I knew that I would marry her.” He turned some of the papers over. “There’s a few letters for you here. Your mother wrote them while you slept on her chest.”

Magnus set the omamori down and ran his thumb over one as he smiled.

_To open with someone you love…_

“I’ve got a paper here. Every birthday, she suggested something to get you, so she could be a part of it. Some were practical things like swimming lessons and school bags. Some were experiences for us to do together. We let balloons go for her when you were one, your first bike at seven, our trip to see elephants in India when you were nine. Swimming with dolphins when you were twelve.”

Magnus thought back to all their spontaneous trips. He had never understood until now why they’d never been on holiday to the same place.

“She sounds wonderful.”

“She was- She is. All she ever wanted was to see you happy.”

Magnus teared up. “But she never got to see me grow up... How many birthdays did she write down for?”

“Eighteen. But it’s not on the list. There’s a letter here with something inside.”

Magnus looked at it.

_For Magnus. To open on your 18th…_

He set it down again. He didn’t need to wonder about it. It would come around eventually. “I’m so sorry, Father. Thank you for telling me.”

“She would be so proud of you, Magnus. Of everything you’ve fought for.”

Magnus paused for a second, looking at the locket. “Have you not been with anyone since Mom?”

Asmodeus shook his head.

“No. She was my first and only love. Sometimes, there’s people born into the world that you are destined to love. No illness or war or separation can do anything about it. You will always find your way back to each other.”

Magnus looked down. “But things get so difficult sometimes. What do you do? When you find your someone like that?”

Asmodeus smiled.

“You love them. You hold them close. And you never, ever let them go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	19. Night Owls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprises are in store when Magnus plans a night out.
> 
> "I want to hold hands and waste my nights with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Warning <3
> 
> Song for chapter 19:[ "Let's Fall In Love For The Night."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yua-rAyVvmY&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=21&t=0s)

“Max, Jace is sneaking your cards from under the board.”

Jace met eyes with Max from across the bed. “Am not, thank you, Alec. That card is mine.”

Izzy picked it up and read from it. “That’s Max’s. That’s the one you said you didn’t want.”

“Right, that’s it!” Jace reached over the board that was on Alec’s hospital bed. He knocked over all of Izzy’s counters. She pushed him backwards and Alec shouted as the whole board got knocked over.

“Guys! Make sure you don’t lose any pieces. This isn’t my game.”

Izzy laughed and stacked up some of the round counters in her fingers. “We used to play this in school, remember? All the kids used to get mad because Alec was too good at it.”

Max was sorting the play money by colours. “How did he get good? We’ve never got through a game without Jace knocking it over.”

Jace gasped from the floor, where he was picking up coins. “That’s not true! One time it was Izzy!”

Izzy sat back mockingly. “When we were like four! And may I remind you? I had my fingers wrapped up because you shut them in the car door!”

Jace laughed. “I still didn’t knock it over!”

Max sat back with the board in his hands. “I agree with Izzy. Also, Alec is sleepy because he’s not moving around like he's supposed to, and he’s trying to hide it.”

“Right that’s it!”

Jace pulled Max towards him and tickled his stomach. They hadn’t changed after school and had come straight there, so Izzy shrieked about Jace scruffing up Max’s uniform. Izzy looked over to Alec, who was lying in the bed. As Max screeched, there was a few annoyed voices from around the room. The Lightwood siblings were a noisy bunch. They should have expected it by now.

“Alec? You’re sleepy?”

Alec shook his head and crossed his arms. “I am not.”

Max looked from in between Jace’s arms, as he was pinned on top of Alec’s legs. Izzy put the last of the board game into the box and closed it.

Max smiled.“You are! You do grabby hands when you’re tired.”

Jace and Izzy smirked at each other and Jace laughed. “What the hell is ‘grabby hands’?”

Max giggled with his hands over his mouth and pointed to Alec. “When Magnus comes in the room, Alec goes grabby hands for him to come and see him. He does it when he’s tired as well. And when he wants hugs.”

Jace and Izzy ‘awwed’ as Alec blushed.

“No I don't! …That’s a perfectly normal reaction when you want something, anyway!”

Izzy and Jace ‘awwed’ again and Izzy squished Alec’s cheek. “Look at my adorable little squish bean! Are you sleepy and want cuddles from your bugaboo?”

Alec patted her hand away and stuck his tongue out. “Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!”

Izzy smirked. “So you don’t want ‘Magnus cuddles’?”

Alec curled up in a red ball, earning him jeers and shouts from his three siblings. “Well-I never said that.”

Izzy laughed as their parents walked in. Maryse grinned as Robert stood in between his two eldest sons and spoke. “Well it’s a shame he’s working, Iz. But listen right here guys-”

Alec shouted and put his palms on his head. “No, no, no ,no, no.”

Robert whispered and put an arm around Jace and Max’s shoulders. “When he gets here- Alec and Magnus are going on a date!”

Izzy shrieked and clapped her hands with Maryse. Alec pulled his blanket over his head and sat with his knees curled up, earning him kissy noises from everyone around the room.

Alec hissed as Max pulled the blanket off his head. “MOM! I told you that in confidence!”

Izzy leapt on Alec and started trying to get his short hair into some kind of style. Maryse was looking in the cupboard for a top that didn’t resemble pyjamas. "Maybe we have time to run and get something."

Alec held his hands up. “Whoa! Guys! It’s just a movie and something to eat. Calm down, okay?”

Jace stood up. “Yeah. Chill your butt. He’s a grown man, perfectly capable- OF PICKING SOMETHING FOR HIS DATEEE!”

Alec groaned, as Jace hugged him and scruffed his hair. Everyone was shouting and teasing him again. He felt his face going warm. “Thanks for that. And where the hell did you get that phrase from?” Alec knew his brother. If he was using new phrases, then that meant he was hanging around someone new. Someone he hadn’t told them about, which was a new development. “Jonathan Christopher Lightwood! Have YOU been going on dates by any chance?!”

Jace shook his head and jumped up and down. His cheeks went red to match Alec’s. “Have not! Have not!”

Izzy laughed. “Ha! Now we can tease Jace! Do you hold hands and kiss goodbye?”

Jace looked at her and crossed his arms. He tilted his head. “Do you?! With the boy you’re dating?!”

Izzy went bright red. There were several pointed fingers and ‘oooooh’s’ from around the room. It had been about a week and a half since she had told Simon about her brothers. She was dreading the interrogation already, but knew what they were like. She’d had a friend over last year, a boy from school. He only came over to study once and she had walked into the kitchen to find him tied to the chair. Jace and Max had had bowls and pasta strainers on their heads and were questioning him with a wooden spoon and a spatula.

Maryse stood back and Robert walked over. The kids were all poking each other and winding each other up. Robert put his arm around Maryse’s waist and pulled her into him. She rested her head against his side and spoke quietly. The kids were now all piled on Alec and trying to tell him what he should and shouldn’t do on his date.

“They’re growing up. Aren’t they?”

Robert smiled. “They are. Looks like they wont need us any-”

Jace pushed Max back and his elbow caught Alec’s cup on the table. It clattered to the floor, spraying flavoured water everywhere. Four pairs of eyes looked expectantly at their parents.

Maryse laughed. “I wouldn’t say that.”

***

Magnus pulled into the hospital car park and turned the keys off in the ignition. He was worried that he was late. He’d been cleaning up the store and had needed to lock up for his boss. He’d missed a couple of shifts lately and owed some favours, so he couldn’t really say no. He tossed the shop keys into the cup holder and moved his mirror to double check his hair.

He wanted everything tonight to go smoothly. Alec had insisted it would and had joked that he wanted every cliché in the book. A movie wouldn’t have been his first thought. That was two hours where they could have been learning about one another, but Alec was only just recovered from his bad spell and it would be his first time out and about.

Magnus reached next to him and lifted the flowers from the seat. A dozen red roses. Not cheap, shop, ones like when he decorated Alec’s room. These were hand picked by his friend in the florist. Each petal perfect and smelling completely different from the kind you got in a regular store. He’d been given a discount but it had still cost him a few shifts to pay for them. Alec and himself had had a ‘heated debate’ over who would pay for what that night. They had admitted that they would try and outdo each other anyway, but since Magnus was the one not in hospital , he could do whatever he wanted for this one. Alec would pay for and plan for the next. To give him something to do while he was stuck inside.

Magnus smiled. They’d never actually had a proper argument. There had been moments where one of them got upset, but they always got through it together. Their argument about who was paying had actually resulted in Alec dragging Magnus into the cleaning closet. After what Magnus had dubbed to be ‘the most heated make out session he’d ever experienced’, Alec had got his wicked way and they had reached third base for the first time. Magnus hadn’t been able to do his house cleaning for a week because of how riled up it got him. He felt awful, but his father knew that because of his previous condition, sometimes cleaning things and chemicals made Magnus feel sick. His dad had spent the week looking for different cleaning products that Magnus could use and he didn’t have the heart to tell him that wasn’t the reason why.

By the time Magnus had collected his thoughts together, he’d reached Alec’s new cubicle. This hospital bay, he noted, only housed four patients at a time and they weren’t nearly as sick as the kids in the other one. He heard whispers from behind the curtain. He had expected Alec’s family to be gone by now. He shyly held the flowers behind his back, his cheekbones turning red. Max narrowed his eyes as he poked his head out from between the curtain.

Magnus spoke shyly. “Umm, Max? Is Alec home?”

Max pulled the curtain aside and Magnus stepped in. Izzy and Maryse were cooing over Alec as the other boys stood with their arms crossed. Izzy held up her finger, without turning around, as if to say ‘one minute.’ Eventually, Izzy and Maryse moved to the side and grinned back at each other, clearing out the way so Magnus could see. Alec was wearing a long sleeve, light blue shirt. It fitted him perfectly without being too much. He had smart, black trousers on with a thin silver belt, and shining black shoes. Magnus tried not to gasp as his eyes settled over Alec. Izzy had styled his short hair and roughed it up just enough that he looked slightly boyish but still devilishly edible.

Magnus bet to himself that if Alec’s family hadn’t been there, their date night probably would have taken a different turn right then. He held the flowers in front of himself and tried to think of gross things while Izzy and Maryse preached about ‘ground rules’ and the fact that Alec had to be back at the hospital by ten. And not a minute later.

***

Alec stood by the car and sniffed at the beautiful roses. Magnus was tying his shoe lace next to him.

“Magnus, these are beautiful, but you didn’t have to go to such a fuss.”

Magnus stood up and Alec put his arms over his shoulders, still holding the flowers in his hand. Magnus naturally placed his hands, just between Alec’s waist and ribs. He had told Magnus once that he preferred it to his hips, and Magnus was making his best effort to remember it.

Magnus spoke quietly, as he smiled and his eyes teared up slightly. “Alexander, you look so gorgeous.”

Alec smiled shyly. Magnus was wearing a long, white shirt that was slightly open down the front. He had tight, red skinny jeans on that were ironically nice enough that under any other circumstance at the moment, Alec would have wanted them off him. Alec fiddled with the two chains around Magnus’ neck. His medical ID, and a square one that he hadn’t seen before.

“So do you.” Alec put his hands by his sides as Magnus cupped his face in his hands. Magnus’ eyes darted around Alec’s face, as they shone. “What is it?”

“No-it’s just you.” Magnus gasped. “-I cant even tell you how much I’ve looked forward to tonight. I can just show you off to the world and tell everyone how proud I am of you.”

Alec’s eyes teared up and he spoke on a breath. “Magnus, I love you. More than anyone else in the world and-” He stopped speaking. He couldn’t think of anything else to say. He didn’t need to. Magnus leaned forward and Alec put his arms over his shoulders again. Magnus pressed his lips gently against Alec’s. That small gesture was enough to render them both breathless. Alec bit his lip and spoke quietly, forgetting the world around them. “Magnus…did you really want to see that movie? We have a car and a few hours to spare. It been so long since we've had some time alone  together.” He tilted his head suggestively.

Magnus shook his head and they kissed passionately. Their tongue’s glided over each others as they melted into each other’s forms. They broke apart as Alec’s stomach growled. He was actually hungry for a change. Alec covered his stomach with his arms and smiled cheekily. “We could get food later.”

Magnus laughed and went onto his tiptoes, kissing the end of Alec’s nose. He spoke in a low and teasing voice. “Alexander, you do know that I want to get to know you and not just your genitals?” Alec eyes went wide and he cleared his throat. An old woman walked past, looking like she’d seen a ghost. Both of the boys grinned with red faces and she shook her head while she laughed, gesturing that she was going and to ignore her.

Alec’s stomach rumbled again and Magnus pulled the car door open. “Mr. A .Lightwood, would you like to accompany me on a ridiculously over-killed dinner, followed by some ill-advised conduct in a country lane somewhere?”

Magnus took Alec’s flowers as he laughed and led him to his car seat. “Well Mr.Bane. That does sound ravishing, but we must remember that I am under curfew.”

Magnus winked as he handed the flowers back, kissed Alec and shut the door. “Don’t worry. I’ll have you back on the dot. But not a minute earlier.

***

“Do you know what you would like this evening, sirs?”

Magnus was about to nod when he saw Alec pick the menu up for about the fourth time. “I think we’ll need another minute.”

The waiter walked away quietly while Alec’s eyes racked the menu. “I haven’t eaten properly in weeks and this all looks so good. I don't want something that’s going to be too much for me.”

Magnus pushed the menu down. “There’s roasted chicken there. You can have it with mash or fries. I used to come here after I came out of hospital and I promise you that it never made me sick.”

Alec nodded. It sounded good.

The waiter returned a minute later and took their orders. Magnus ordered lasagne but knew he wouldn’t eat half of it.

When the waiter had left, Magnus reached across the table and took Alec’s hand. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Alec smiled. “Of course, I’d enjoy myself anywhere as long as I’m with you.”

They hadn’t realised they were speaking out loud. There were several ‘awws’ from around the restaurant, from ears that had caught wind of them talking. How it was their first proper date out, and that Alec was still a patient in hospital.

When their food had arrived, Alec listened carefully while Magnus held his hands and quietly told him about what he had found out about his mother. Alec sat back with wide eyes. It was quite a lot to process, even for him.

“So your dad has never been with anyone since- since he lost your mother?”

Magnus shook his head as he ate another bite of his food. “Nope. We have a funny phrase between us actually. When I was little, every movie I watched, I used to ask my father if the second to the lead was their ‘forever person.’ I guess it meant the person they would end up with, you know because they are never with anyone else after it? Well I’m guessing she was my dad’s ‘forever person’ because he never wanted anyone else. There was no one else for him.”

Alec smiled sadly. “That’s sad. I mean I get it, but if something happened to me-”

“Alec. No-”

“-If something happened to me then I wouldn’t want you to spend your life alone. We’re young and-”

“No, Alec, listen. I know what my dad meant. I am not going to lose you, okay? You’ve been doing so much better. We both know that you’re stubborn enough to stick it out. Think about it, just a little while longer and we could be free from it all. We can try to move past our illnesses and start over together. I want a life with you, Alexander, and I will not hear another word. You are going to get better and we are going to have our happily ever after, okay?”

There were several quiet claps from around the room. Several customers were on extra drinks or desserts, in an attempt to see how this all unfolded.

Alec nodded quietly and took Magnus’ hands again. “I love you so much, Magnus. You brought me light in my darkest days, and I will always be eternally grateful for it.”

They leaned over the table and pecked each other on the lips. Several customers were sighing and leaning into their hands.

The waiter walked back over. “Would you like to request desserts tonight?”

Magnus met eyes with Alec from across the table. He smiled ecstatically and Magnus handed his card to the waiter. “No, I think we’ll just have our bill, please.”

The waiter disappeared for a moment and came back. Just as Magnus was worrying there was a problem with it, the waiter smiled and shrugged.

“It seems your meal has already been paid for. Have a wonderful evening.”

***

Both the boys sat in silence as Magnus pulled the car up. They’d driven for a few miles and found the perfect spot, hidden behind a crop of trees. Magnus turned the ignition off and bit the side of his cheek. They’d both been smiling into their hands all the way, making awkward eye contact and giggling at the fact that both of their families probably thought they’d still be at the movies by now.

“Okayy. How did you want to go about this..?”

Alec turned around and shook his head. “I don’t think we should plan this. Let’s just- let it happen.”

Magnus nodded and looked to the back. It was a large car and the seats had been put down in the back anyway because his father had helped a friend to bring a table set home yesterday.

He twiddled his thumbs shyly.

“We could go in the back- un-dress each other.” Alec’s eyes went wide and his cheekbones went red. It was a look that Magnus was beginning to recognise. Alec shifted awkwardly in his seat and his hand was already on the door handle. They both turned their heads with their mouths open, a second later, they were racing each other to get in the back.

Magnus slammed the boot closed as he started working at Alec’s buttons. They fumbled and giggled as Magnus worked to undo Alec's belt buckle. Maybe one day, this frantic and desperate behaviour would shift to something calm and different. Quiet and gentle caressing instead of ravenous aggression and slamming doors. That day wasn’t today.

Alec gasped against Magnus’ neck as Magnus pulled the belt from his pants and undid his zip. Something felt animalistic and dangerous about being pulled up in the lane. Even if it was far away from anything.

Alec groaned and his eyes rolled back as Magnus’ hand slipped into his pants. Alec was still finding it difficult to tell Magnus what he wanted, but as their jaws worked backwards and forwards, over and over again, Alec found he didn’t need to. Alec shivered and whimpered quietly as Magnus traced down him with his fingers. He’d been hard since they had pulled up, and he was pretty sure that Magnus knew about it.

Alec’s body hummed in Magnus’ capable fingers. Alec placed his hands on either side of Magnus’ face. He groaned quietly before speaking. Not wanting Magnus to take his hands away, but it was a necessity if this was going to happen in the back of Magnus’ father’s car.

“How many have we got left?” Alec groaned, frustrated, as Magnus pulled away. He was straddled with his legs around Alec, but he still managed to reach his backpack that had been chucked in the back. Alec grinned at the fact that Magnus had even brought them. He had already guessed how tonight was going to go.

Magnus kissed him as he spoke. “The last two. I didn’t want to take too many before giving Jace’s case back. We’ll go shopping, okay? We’ll have some fun with it.”

Alec nodded. “One for each of us then?”

Magnus grinned and pulled at Alec’s lip with his teeth. “Unless you fight me for them both.”

Alec smiled mischievously and flipped them over. He rubbed his nose against Magnus and they giggled as Alec tried to grind their hips together. Difficult when he only had the front of his pants open. It had been a few days since they had even kissed properly. Magnus had been in work or school and Alec had been having treatment. Things had only really heated up a few times between them. It was growing increasingly harder, ironically, for them to be kept apart. It was also more difficult to be sensible when they were together.

Alec rolled his eyes in annoyance, when Magnus snorted and laughed at him. Alec was still trying to glide their hips together. Magnus’ pants were off, no hiding how desperate he was also feeling. Alec growled under his breath as their mouths moved together. “Just get these stupid clothes off me-”

Magnus smiled with a twinkle in his eye. “Get up then.”

Alec tried to stand in the back of the car, but his tall frame was not built for it. He hit his head on the roof and Magnus laughed before pulling him to lie down again.

Alec undid the buttons on Magnus’ shirt and chucked it to the side. Alec’s shirt followed, leaving just Magnus in his underwear and Alec still clothed from the waist down. Alec held out his hands. “Well?”

Magnus jumped over and straddled his lap, sliding their hips against each other. Alec gasped into his hand, remembering then that they wouldn’t have to be as quiet as usual. His eyes fluttered and he moaned as Magnus moved against him. How could Magnus do that so well? He couldn’t do that himself earlier.

Magnus hissed in a low, throaty growl. “Ask again.”

Alec narrowed his eyes as Magnus kissed his neck. “Please, Magnus.”

Magnus pushed Alec’s head back again, sliding his thumb into the top of Alec’s underwear before stopping. “Mmm. No. You don’t sound like you want it badly enough.”

Alec threw Magnus underneath him, holding the sides of his face. Alec laughed. “Are you trying to make me beg you?!”

Magnus laughed. “About time!”

Alec’s face went blank from being made fun of. Magnus’ heart rate picked up for a second, worrying that he’d hurt Alec’s feelings. It was only when Alec smirked that Magnus realised he was only playing him at his own game.

Alec grinned as he slipped his thumbs into Magnus’ underwear. “I was thinking…”

Magnus looked at him for a second. His hands were shaking. “Yeah?”

“You know the supply closet the other day?”

Magnus blinked at him. “You want to do that to me?”

Alec nodded against Magnus' neck. “Is that okay? I want to make you happy.”

Magnus laughed. “Of course, it’s okay. I’m happy if you’re willing to try. Don’t be disheartened if we don’t get it right though. It can be tricky.” Magnus looked at Alec who was beginning to look uncomfortable. They’d been messing around, but it was enough, and he knew Alec wanted his pants off. Magnus laughed. “Come here.”

Alec sat down next to him and Magnus leaned over him to kiss him gently. Magnus grabbed the edge of Alec’s trousers and brought them down low enough for him to kick them off. Alec grinned as Magnus paused for a second. Still with their lips together, he ran his hand down Alec’s chest. He kept his eyes closed until Alec had kicked off his boxers and they broke apart. Magnus cast his eyes down and Alec’s cheeks went pink. This was different to their few frantic experiences in the dark.

Alec brought Magnus’ chin up to meet his eyes. It was pretty difficult because Magnus was quite persistent in looking down. Alec threw Magnus underneath him and pulled off his boxers in one go. He’d had enough of sitting around. Magnus’ eyes widened as Alec’s hands trailed down his waist.

Magnus pulled Alec back into him and their lips clashed together in a heated kiss. Alec adjusted himself and kissed a line from the centre of Magnus’ chest to the sensitive spot next to his hip bone. Magnus threw his head back and bit his lip. His body was pulsating against Alec and he needed a release.

Alec moved off for a second and Magnus kept his eyes closed. There was a crinkle from nearby and he felt as Alec returned and pressed their lips together. He slid the condom onto Magnus and a second later, Magnus was grasping at anything he could while Alec’s eyes drifted closed and he kissed a trail down Magnus’ stomach.

Magnus moaned with his head back. Alec parted his lips and ducked his head. Magnus began to feel a warm pressure and nodded encouragingly.

“That’s it…watch your teeth.” Magnus sat up slightly, running his hands through Alec’s hair and groaning as Alec took more of him in. “Uggh. Yes, Alec! That’s it.” Magnus got carried away and thrusted his hips forward, making Alec gag. “Oh shit! I’m sorry! Are you okay!?” Alec nodded and laughed as he moved back down. It was growing increasingly difficult for Alec to keep Magnus in his mouth. He breathed deeply through his nose as his slick tongue moved up and down. Magnus groaned again, as Alec found the right rhythm. “Alec…I’m getting close. Do you want to keep going or finish off by hand?”

He didn’t need an answer. Alec slowly ran his hands down Magnus’ thighs and around his butt to pull himself closer, moaning as he took in every inch that he possibly could. Magnus’ arms shook as he climaxed and threw his head back. “URRGGHH!! ALEXANDER- Keep going! Keep going!

Magnus’ body pulsed and twitched under Alec’s gentle grasp. He thrusted his hips and Alec’s tongue slid further again. He couldn’t go all the way, but it was a very good first attempt. Magnus sat back and tried to catch his breath. He was still pounding but he guessed it would take a while to go down. It had been a long week. Alec collapsed in a mess. He was lying on his back and his chest was rising up and down as he laughed and cheered. He closed his eyes for a second before pulling Magnus on top of him. “Quick! I’m barely keeping myself together here!”

Magnus didn’t have enough time to help him get a condom on. Alec threw his head back and arched his back as a tear ran down the side of his face.

“UGGGGHH! Magnus! Please!”

Magnus bent down quickly in a press up, running his tongue along Alec’s head before taking him in his mouth. Alec’s eyes went back in his head and his vision went dark as Magnus massaged at him with his hand and guided him in and out of his throat as he swallowed. Alec tucked his legs up as he climaxed into Magnus’ mouth, Magnus taking in every inch possible with a swift but gentle rhythm. He’d realised when they’d been touching each other a week back that Alec much preferred skin to skin contact anyway.

When he couldn’t catch his breath any longer, Magnus pulled his head away and wiped his mouth. “Was that okay for you, Alexander? You went a bit quiet there.” Alec smiled, nodding from where he was lying. His eyes were still closed and his body was twitching. Magnus lay down next to him and panted for a minute. “Have you got your breath back?”

Alec spoke quietly, sounding like he was high. “Yeah.”

“Good. Because we might need the other condom.”

Alec sat up and looked at Magnus’ crotch. Magnus pulled his condom off, tied it and set it on the side.

“You’re still stiff. Did I do it wrong?”

Magnus shook his head. “Quite the opposite. It happens. Can you do it with your hand?”

Alec nodded as he rolled over to Magnus’ bag. He grabbed the last condom and opened it. He crawled back over to where Magnus was gasping and slid the new condom on. Magnus’ tip was red and pounding with no release. Alec helped him sit up for a second and sat behind him. The way Magnus had done for him.

Magnus turned his head and they kissed slowly and gently, running their tongues over each others. Alec took Magnus in his hand and stroked him slowly at first, watching Magnus’ expression and learning what he liked. When he had a good idea, Alec increased his speed, until Magnus was thrusting his hips and Alec was struggling to keep his grip. Alec felt his hand grow increasingly hot as Magnus finally climaxed again, breathing a sigh of relief and whispering Alec’s name. It had began to be unbearable. He’d never had anything like that happen before.

When they were both finally back down to planet earth, they removed the condom from Magnus and tied it. There was a tissue box in Magnus’ bag and he put it in with the other to get rid of later. Both of them were sweating as Magnus reached into his bag and pulled out two water bottles. Alec laughed. “You came prepared. You so knew that would happen.”

Magnus shook his head. “Not like that, I didn’t.

Alec looked sadly at their scattered clothes. "I suppose we better get dressed."

Magnus sat up and rubbed his face. "I completely forgot. There's somewhere I want to take you tonight. If you're up to a little drive.”

Alec smiled. "Sure. With you, I'll go anywhere."

***

"Ohmygod! Best date idea ever!! Alec laughed as they sat in the pet shop pen. Puppies were running around them and fighting to get their attention. Alec laughed as he rocked a sleeping, golden retriever, puppy in his arms. "I think this one is my favourite. What's her nam- say, Magnus, where are you?"

Magnus held his hand up from under the stack of puppies. They were licking his face and jumping all over him. "Over here!" Alec walked over, still carrying the sleepy puppy, and laughed as he pulled at Magnus' hand. They sat against the glass with their sides touching, watching as the other puppies ran around them. "Would you like one at some point?"

Alec smiled, looking down at the blonde puppy with a red bow. None of the others had them but that wasn't why he liked her. She had ran straight between them when they came in, staring at them with beautiful chocolate coloured eyes. "One like this? Yeah. Sure. My family talked about getting one before, but I got sick and we never got around to it."

Magnus smiled. "I've always wanted a dog, but we can't because my Dad works. Something's been on the cards for a while but we we're waiting for you to get better-"

Alec looked at him. "What is it?"

"Our parents agreed that if we share duties, we can have a puppy and keep it between our two houses."

Alec looked at the puppy and then at Magnus as his eyes teared up. "We're having a baby?"

Magnus laughed as he put his arm around Alec's shoulder. They stared at the puppy that was sleeping in Alec's arms. Alec laughed ecstatically as Magnus kissed the side of his head. "I mean she is a puppy but I guess you could say that. Our first responsibility together. Isn't that amazing?"

Alec put one hand against his mouth. "Is- Is this really happening? Are- are we having her?"

Magnus smiled. "Yep. Next day you're free, we can come in and pick her up. I've been hoarding dog supplies all week so I'll drop some stuff at yours. We haven't told your siblings yet."

Alec didn't reply. He was still staring down and playing with the puppy's little paws.

***

Alec spoke sleepily in Magnus’ ear as they reached the hospital ward. “Magnus, I don’t think I can walk much further.”

One of the nurses rushed forward with a chair. They had all guessed that Alec would come back tired. He would need a few days of rest now, and some blood work done. Magnus helped Alec to sit down. He was blinking sleepily but he was smiling.

“Did you boys have fun?” Magnus told her all about the food in the restaurant. The nurse had a boyfriend and was always asking around for recommendations. She hadn’t expected such a good report from two 17 year old's. “That sounds amazing. What about your movie? Did you like what you saw?”

Alec smirked. “Oh, totally.”

“That’s good. Well I’m glad you enjoyed yourselves but you’ve got to rest up now. The doctor will be around in the morning to check your blood work and we’re doing tea and cake in the afternoon. We’re raising money for the teen cancer trust if you’re interested.”

Magnus nodded. “Sure. That sounds great. I’ll ring Alec’s siblings and ask if they want to come.”

The nurse smiled as they reached Alec’s bed. “Here you go.”

After changing into joggers and a T-shirt, Magnus helped Alec to climb under the covers. Alec’s eyes were dragging but he was still smiling. Magnus pulled the blanket over him and kissed his forehead.

“Goodnight, Alexander. I love you so much.”

Alec murmured softly and Magnus put his ear by his mouth, asking him to repeat himself. “Magnus, I have to tell you something. There's something you should know”

Magnus' heart raced. “What is it?”

Alec smiled and whispered. "I love you too."

Magnus laughed, brushing Alec's short hair through his fingers. "Was that it?"

Alec shook his head. “You're my forever person, Magnus. I can't wait for our happily ever after”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 Feel free to leave a comment


	20. Surprise Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a warm, bank holiday Friday, everyone decides to go out. Maryse and Robert are waiting patiently in the hospital when Alec's doctor asks to meet with them.
> 
> "Every person is a new door to a different world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick 'thank you' to 'The cool kids' group chat on twitter. I never could have got to here without you guys, so thank you!! <3 <3 Also a huge thanks to everyone who has read, shared, reacted and commented so far. All of you guys! I can't believe how far we've come and here we are on the 20th chapter! Much like our characters, I can't say what the future holds, but I can say that I have loved taking you on this story so far. <3
> 
> If you've enjoyed so far, please drop a comment on here or on twitter with the hashtag #Flutterfic. I always love to hear what you guys think ❤️❤️
> 
> Song for chapter 20:[ "Don't Give Up On Me."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4S1qXaG42A&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=22&t=0s)

“Alexander, what are you thinking?”

Alec lifted his head as they drove down the freeway. The day was hot but not too hot and they had music blaring with the windows open. “Hmm? Oh well, nothing really. I was just thinking that this could kinda be our life. Here we are, racing down the freeway with the wind in our hair.”

Magnus laughed as he looked back in the mirror. “Suuure. Car rides. Going to check the puppy. Buying ‘provisions.’”

Alec stuck his head back in the window and turned to face Magnus. “Hang on a second! You didn’t tell me that was happening today?”

Magnus laughed. “Well it is kind of a necessity now. I thought I’d scare you off if I mentioned it beforehand. Don’t worry, you don’t have to come in-”

Alec looked at him with big hazel eyes. “No, I want to. Yes, this is a bit frightening for me, but you’re right, it is a necessity. We have to be grown up about it. Besidesss…” He wiggled his eyebrows and Magnus laughed.

“We’re almost there. There are a few other things I want to get but maybe we could get food or something. When was the last time we went out like this?”

Alec thought for a second. “Well I don’t think we’ve been shopping together yet, but the last time out was... a week ago. When we had our date.”

Magnus pulled into the mall car park. “Ah, yes. Our ‘date’. I learnt so much about you.” Alec laughed and Magnus shook his head. “No, I’m serious!” He softened slightly and tilted his head. “I’m learning what you like.”

Alec tilted his head. “Go on then. Tell me what I like.” Magnus leaned across the middle of the seats and gestured for Alec to lean over, as if to whisper something to him. Alec closed his eyes and Magnus turned Alec’s head, slowly kissing his jawline with his tongue, right below Alec's ear. Alec shivered and shifted in his seat, not convincing either of them. “Mmm, I don't think that’s it.”

Magnus kissed him softly and whispered in his ear. “Alexander, your pants say otherwise.”

Alec looked down and blushed, leaning with his elbows on his knees. “Thanks for that! I can’t walk around the mall like this!”

Magnus laughed and sat back. “Well it’s a good thing we’re going anyway. We can just sit here a minute.”

They waited about a minute in silence, laughing at the fact that any stranger walking past would think that they were waiting for someone, not waiting for a very worked up Alec to calm himself down. Magnus looked at Alec and smirked as Alec rolled his eyes. “Right, get out the car, Magnus. This is never going to work. Not when you’re sitting next to me looking all gorgeous like that.”

***

“Hang on, if you’ve got crutches then you’re not going to be able to carry your shopping bags around. You’ll have to leave them here.”

Clary looked at Simon before hopping on her leg. “I’m not going far, anyway. Just the makeup shop a bit further down. I thought I’d come back here and sit with you for a bit. Maybe we could get food and I’ll call Luke to come and pick me up.”

Simon nodded as he set a box down on the counter and opened it. The store was quiet today because it was a bank holiday Friday and most people were down the beach.

“Well, as much as I hate working Fridays, I knew we’d just spend the day moping around and then shout at ourselves by the evening for not getting anything done. You don't do your homework until the day before it’s due, and tomorrow’s Saturday, so it’s not like you were going to study with me. Why not be proactive and ask for an extra shift? There’s hardly anyone around anyway so there won’t be much work to do. You can help me cut samples up if you promise not to eat them.”

***

“Izzzyyyyy!! I don’t want to go shopping with you!”

“Jaceee! You’ve been begging me all morning to go out with you somewhere. Now I get Dad to drop us off and you decide that you don’t want to go!” Jace dragged his feet over the pavement as Izzy pulled at his jacket. “Besides, you love going to the mall. What do you say?” Izzy spoke in a forced, male voice. “Geee, Izzy, but that’s where all the hot girls hang out, duuuh!”

Jace crossed his arms. “I don't sound like that! You didn’t let me have second breakfast! Besides, maybe I’ve decided to stop chasing girls. Maybe I’ve decided to calm down. You don’t know me.”

Izzy let him go, clutching her sides with laughter while Jace fell to the floor. “Yeah! Sure! That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said. Dear Lord, I hope the poor girl you’re giving the run around to knows what she’s got herself into.”

***

“There she is! My babyyy!!”

Alec grinned as he followed Magnus into the store and up to the glass pen. A new shipment of toys had come in yesterday and as part of the advertising, a load of them had been put in with the puppies. All of the puppies were preoccupied at the other end, fighting over various ropes and squeaky toys. The second they walked into the little area, one stuck her head out from a pile of toy stuffing.

They both sat on the floor as their little puppy ran over. She was more awake today and dragged over a hole ridden teddy that was way too big for her. Alec laughed as he held her up under her arms. She licked his face and squirmed with excitement. Magnus laughed. “Ergh. Alec! Don’t let her lick your face!”

Alec pouted as he held her up, the side of her face to his. “Your Papa is just jealous, isn’t he!? Oh yes, he is! He is! He is!”

Magnus held her hands up. “That’s it, hand her over!” Alec carefully passed the puppy to Magnus, bundling her legs together so she didn’t fall and hurt herself. Magnus laughed as he took the puppy in his hands. “Just to be clear, did you mean jealous of you holding her or jealous because she gets to lick your face and I don't?”

Alec leaned back on his hands. “I meant holding the puppy. And nice try but I’m not letting you get me worked up again. We’ve got to be careful. We actually have things to do today and once we start talking like that, all productivity goes out the window. Mom and Dad are meeting with my doctor today to talk about my blood work. I need to be able to get back there quickly if they call, so you’ve got to keep your pants on, Mister.”

Magnus pouted as he rocked the puppy in his arms. She yawned and panted at him with big eyes. “While we're here, we might as well have a look at collars. There won’t be room for both of our addresses on there, but we can put her name and both our phone numbers.”

Alec stood up, brushing at his pants. “Sure. If you choose one, we both know she’s going to end up with ten different outfits and bows in her fur, so I’ll go if you want to stay with her. Try and think of names- sensible ones!” Alec walked out of the pen and Magnus stared down at the puppy who was sleeping in his arms again.

“Hmm. What we gonna call you?” The puppy slept on quietly. “Goldie? No. Sophie? No. Kitty? Well I like that, but your Dada will say it’s stupid.” Magnus picked his head up and noticed that Alec had walked down the wrong aisle. He laughed and leaned back against the glass. “Hey, Honey!” The puppy opened her eyes but continued to lie on her back. Magnus looked down at her. “Honey. Do you like that?”

She wagged her tail in response.

***

“Simon, is this going to take all day?”

Simon carried another box open and cut across the top. “Clary! It’s called working. Surely you didn’t expect us to just sit around all day and eat chocolate?”

Clary tapped her cast. That was exactly what she had thought. Simon had let her have his seat behind the desk, but she was too hot just sitting there and doing nothing. She announced that she was going down to the makeup store for a bit. Simon never would have agreed to go with her anyway. Simon waved her off as the phone out the back rang. They’d been having trouble with one of their suppliers and he'd been ringing all morning.

Clary grabbed her crutches from the side and slowly made her way over. They were having a sale today and there were a lot of people in there. She didn’t want to be pushed around, so she sat on the bench outside and waited for the line to go down a bit.

Clary stretched her legs out while a shape threw herself down on the seat next to her.

“Ugh, what is wrong with boyyys?!”

Clary laughed. “Guy trouble?”

“Brother trouble- Oh! I know you!”

Clary turned to look at the girl with dark hair. Clary’s eyes widened and she turned back to look at the floor. “You’re Jace’s sister, aren’t you? I recognise you from the hospital.”

Izzy nodded. “You better believe it. Honest to God, I don’t know what girls see in him. What an ass. I just wanted a quick visit to the makeup store. In and out. And he’s insisting on buying candy for himself and Max, and who knows who else? Not for me though, and I brought him with me!”

***

“Alec, you look like you’re attempting a federal crime.”

Alec stared down at his feet while Magnus pulled him by his arm, swinging a basket in the other. They’d collected snacks and various other things. Magnus wanted bubble bath and Alec just wanted to get out of there. “What if we see someone we know?!”

“We won’t. No one is going to pay any attention to us. We’ve put it off to last for you, so let’s just get it over with. It’s not a big deal so stop making it one!”

Alec sighed as Magnus pushed him down the aisle with a hand on his back. “If I agree, Will you stop looking so keen then, and stop eyeing me up like a snack?! Because I might look like I’m attempting a federal crime, Magnus, but you look like you’re arresting me for one!”

Magnus let him go as they had nearly reached the end of the aisle. “I was actually waiting to tell you, but I’ve decided to do a public services degree when we go to uni. Since you only had a few months off and you’re sorted to try a few hours back, that means that we could apply for courses this year and go together. If you start getting better soon then we could apply before long and we could go in September."

Alec stopped walking. That wasn't that long away.  “Public services? You want to be a paramedic?”

Magnus shook his head. “No, a police officer!”

Alec’s cheekbones went red. “Are you messing with me? Because I swear-”

“I’m not. I swear on Fish’s life. I’ve been thinking about it and I want to do something to help people. I don’t want to be a firefighter and I don’t want something medical based, so I thought- Oh so now you’re the one dragging me!” Magnus laughed as Alec pulled him by his hand. They stood at the end of the aisle and looked up as Magnus chucked a box in. “There. Let’s go.”

He went to walk away but he got pulled back as Alec didn’t move. “Bu-bu-bu- hang on a second.”

“Oh, so now you want to stay?”

Alec pointed to the lube bottle on the bottom shelf. “What about that?”

“We still have the bottle from the first time.”

Magnus rolled his eyes as Alec bent to pick it up. “It says ‘warming.’ Is that for outside?”

Magnus cackled as he took it from Alec. “No. It just feels good. We can get it if you really want.”

Magnus went to talk away again, and Alec pulled at his hand. “Wait- what about those ones?!”

Magnus sighed as he started to drag Alec behind him by the back of his top. “That’s a tingling one and that’s strawberry flavoured. Now let’s go!”

Alec stopped walking for a second. Magnus nearly fell over as Alec raced back to get one of each. “Strawberry flavour!? They do that?!”

Magnus groaned as he followed. “Fine! We can keep some at mine and some-” Magnus looked down at the basket and then at Alec who was excitedly running towards him. “On second thought, we better grab another box of condoms.”

***

Maryse’s hand shook in Robert’s as they walked down to the doctor's room together. Robert had suggested that Izzy and Jace go shopping, even though they thought it was their idea, and Max had gone to play at Tavvy's house. They needed it to be just them so that they could see the doctor and find out what he wanted to tell them. Alec didn't like speaking to the doctors, so always heard afterwards from Robert and Maryse, but he hadn’t needed much persuasion to go out with Magnus for the day.

“Robert, I’m scared about what he’s going to say.”

“I am too, but we’ve been through it all before. We’ve just got to get through this together, okay?”

They sat down on the bench outside the door. People from all walks of life walked past, oblivious to the time that had slowed around them. “It just all keeps on going, doesn’t it? How did Alec ever deserve this. He had everything going for him. The best grades. Archery captain. All wiped out with the lottery of biology.”

Robert took her hands. “That’s not gone, Maryse. He can still have all that. He’s still the same Alec, he’s just taken some time out. Having a bad diagnosis isn't always the end of life. Maybe it's just the start of a new life in a different direction. He doesn’t sit there complaining or feeling sorry for himself because you can’t do that. When something like that is thrown at you, you just have to get off your feet and tell it that it’s never going to defeat you. We have to be better than the pains that we suffer.”

Maryse rested her head against his shoulder and wiped her eyes. “I could never have gotten through this without you. You’re right. We need to be strong for Alec, whatever we’re told today.”

The doctor’s door opened, and he gestured for them to follow him inside. They took a seat each and stared at him desperately while he wrote something down on the desk behind them.

“Thank you for meeting with me today. I have some of your son’s results to share with you.”

Maryse looked up and Robert took her shaking hands. “You have?”

“We’ve been running some tests on Alec’s spleen. Deeply involved with the function of the blood, the spleen and the liver are commonly affected by leukaemia, usually by increasing their size as they force their metabolic functions. One of the purposes of the spleen is to clean up the blood from ageing or remove useless red blood cells, and it often activates during leukaemia, trying to fight off the disease. In the process, the spleen becomes larger. After the most recent examinations, we found a significant improvement in the condition of Alec’s spleen-”

Maryse sat forward. “Oh, that’s fantastic!-"

“-Yes, but there’s something else you need to see. I have some notes here on Alec’s blood work and liver function if you would like to take a look.”

Robert leaned forward and took the clipboard. His eyes skimmed the text that was recorded, and the table showing the level of stem cells in Alec’s blood. Robert’s eyes teared up as he silently passed the clipboard to Maryse without looking at her.

***

Simon put the phone down as he heard the bell ring from the door. It was probably Clary again, wanting to show him girly things he had no interest in. At least if they went to the video store, they could pick a game or movie they both liked.

“Just a second!” Simon ran in and dug under the desk for a second, looking for the extra roll of receipts. A bag of red gummy bears was placed on the counter and he rolled his eyes as he looked up. “Clary, I told you-” Simon met Jace’s eyes for a second. “You- You’re the one who stopped me seeing Izzy.”

Jace crossed his arms. “I did no such thing, you ran off-”

“Hey, Jace!”

Jace turned around for a second “Hey!” and turned back to Simon.

“Listen here, buddy-” Jace turned around again, realising Clary and Izzy were in the door. “Hang on- what is going on?!”

Clary pulled her arms out of her crutches and put a hand against her face. “Simon, you’ve met Jace?!”

Simon stared back, making the connection between the boy and the red gummy bears on the counter. “Oh no.”

Simon turned back to Izzy. “How do you know Clary?!”

Izzy blinked at him. “Hang on, how do you know Clary?!”

Jace jumped up and down. “WHAT IS GOING ON?! Hang on, Clary, the nerdy jackass with glasses is your friend?”

Simon jumped up and down. “Excuse me?!"

At that second, Alec walked backwards through the door, clutching Magnus shirt. They’d been planning just to run in quickly and get some candy for the car drive home, but when Magnus had tripped while Alec was laughing and walking backwards, he’d caught him, and they’d got a bit carried away.

Alec ran his hand down Magnus’ face and murmured as their tongue’s glided together messily. He spoke in between each stroke of Magnus’ mouth.

“Mmm- I can’t wait-”

“Alexander-”

“-to get back to yours-”

“Alec-”

“-and pull those clothes off-”

“Alec!-”

“-and try-”

Magnus pushed him away. “Alec!”

“What?!”

Alec followed Magnus’ gaze over his shoulder. He gulped as his eyes went wide and his face went bright red. While Izzy and Jace laughed into their hands, also bright red, Magnus waved at Clary and Simon who were standing next to each other. “Hey, guys!”

Jace jumped up and down again. “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

Alec was nearly in a puddle on the floor. He would never live this down for as long as he lived. Izzy quirked her eyebrows at him and smirked with her arms behind her back. “Try what, Alec?

Jace looked between them all. “Magnus? How do YOU know Clary?”

“I met Clary in the hospital. How do you know her?”

As they all argued about who knew who, a humiliated Alec stood up for a second and went to go sit outside.

When it looked like Jace was about to hit Simon over the head with a lollipop, Izzy held her hands up and shouted. “ONE AT A TIME!!” Izzy rubbed her eyes as she looked to her brother. “Right, Jace, this is Simon! The boy I’ve been dating!” Jace held his hand up and she held up her own, flat against his face. “Shut up a second! Simon, this is Jace who you already met when he was an asshole on the doorstep! I met Simon here when I bought candy for Max and Simon is Clary’s best friend. Jace, how do you know Clary?!”

Jace spoke as Izzy finally pulled her hand away. “She's my girlfriend! Clary is the redheaded girl from the hospital that I told you about!” He pointed. “The girl who broke her leg when her jackass friend mowed her down!”

Simon held his hand up and Izzy interrupted him. She tried to catch a breath while they all gawped at Jace, including Clary. “Right, we’re getting somewhere. Magnus, how do you know Simon?”

“I met Clary when Simon picked her up!”

Jace rubbed his eyes, it was all too much to process. “Hang on, Magnus. How do you know Alec?”

The room was finally silenced, and they all stared at Jace. Magnus went red as they all burst out laughing.

There was a weary voice from behind them. “Uh… guys?-“

They all turned around. Alec had his mouth open and was staring at the floor with wide eyes. His phone was hanging by his side, in his hand. His face was white and there were already tears down his face. Just as Simon moved to grab the chair, Alec’s legs gave way under him and Magnus caught him from behind. They slid to the floor together as Alec sobbed in his arms. Magnus met the glances of Alec’s siblings. The tears already forming in their eyes, before Alec had even said anything. They all knew he was expecting a phone call today. His numb and broken expression already said enough. Alec sobbed against Magnus’ shoulder and all he could do was sit there and hold him. He didn’t know what Alec had just been told, but there were no possible words that he could offer to comfort him. He should have been there when Alec took the call. Now he would just have to hold him until the tears stopped falling. Alec howled with his arms around Magnus’ neck, trying to get words out that were drowned his shaking sobs.

All of the others gathered around them, holding and placing comforting hands wherever they could. Alec breathed for a second and sat up as Magnus wiped his face with his sleeve.

Alec finally choked out some words. His nose was running. “Iz, Jace, that was our parents-”

Izzy met eyes with Jace, and he took her hand. “It’s spread…hasn’t it?”

Magnus closed his eyes slowly and kissed Alec’s forehead. “Alexander, whatever has happened-”

Alec spluttered, wiping his nose with his sleeve. They all stared at him. “No, that’s not it.” Magnus gathered Alec against him and held him tight. He closed his eyes, dreading what he was about to hear. Alec spoke as he wiped at the tears on Magnus’ face. “They just spoke with the doctor. I’m in remission.”

Magnus opened his eyes. "What?"

Alec spoke on a breath and bounced up and down from where he sat. "My leukaemia is gone. I'm free."

They all stood up for a second, all except Magnus who was still sitting with his arms by his sides. Jace gathered Alec against him, hugging him tightly. Izzy wrapped her arms around them both "Alec, I am so proud of you."

Jace kissed Izzy's head. "I wish Max was here."

Izzy smiled. "But think how excited he'll be. Alec can tell him. Himself." 

Alec grinned as a redheaded girl hugged his waist. He had no idea who she was.

When they'd all stopped jumping up and down and hugging each other, Jace's stomach was rumbling and they all laughed as Izzy suggested they all go get food. Alec looked around for a second. Magnus was still on the floor with his mouth half open, looking slightly dazed. Alec turned to look at him while Izzy held onto his sleeve. Magnus wiped his eyes, not caring that the room was full of people. He stood up and walked over to Alec, putting his arms around Alec’s neck and kissing him full on the mouth. All of the others cheered and wolf whistled as they locked together in a heated embrace. Just before things started to take a new turn, they broke apart and stared into each other's eyes. They bumped their heads together and Magnus licked his lips. "I love you so much. I knew you could do it."

Alec lifted his chin and kissed him again. The others jeered around them and Izzy and Clary clapped their hands. "I love you, too, Magnus. I couldn't have done it without you. Here's to the rest of our lives together. Here's to forever with you."

Magnus smiled, like he didn't believe what he was hearing. "The rest of our lives?"

"The rest of our lives."

Jace's stomach rumbled again as he put his arm over Clary's shoulder. "Can we go eat now?"

***

After everyone was sitting down with burgers and fries, Izzy held up her cup to everyone at the table.

"To the best, most weirdest triple date ever!"

They all held up their drinks and cheered together.

Magnus held his up again. "To Alec's remission!"

They all cheered together. "To Alec's remission!!" 

Alec snuggled into Magnus' side. His arms were around his waist and his head on his shoulder. He didn't care about any jokes his siblings threw at them. They had each other and his leukaemia was gone. That was all that mattered. While everyone was chatting and eating, Magnus lifted Alec's chin to look jim in his eyes. He whispered quietly. "Hey, you know I'm going to my aunt's tomorrow for the weekend? That means you're going to be stuck on your own while your family goes to that wedding."

Alec sat back. He hadn't thought of that. He knew he probably wouldn't have been able to go anyway but it was too late now. He had insisted that they go, and he was okay in the hospital. Now he might have to spend the weekend at home alone. 

Magnus smiled at him softly. "If you're stuck at home, maybe you could start getting stuff sorted to bring Honey home. We could drive up after I finish school on Monday, and we could pick her up."

Alec smiled before kissing him softly. "Yeah, let's do it." He leaned over and grabbed his cup, tapping it to Magnus' as he whispered softly. "To the rest of our lives together."

Magnus raised his cup. "Life is one grand adventure, Alexander Lightwood. It would be my absolute honour to spend the rest of mine with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	21. House Husbands: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recently discharged from hospital, Alec is planning to spend a quiet weekend alone. It's only when the phone rings that plans are changed and he has an unexpected visitor.
> 
> "No, I don't want to return your phone calls. I like them and I want to keep them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, this isn't the end. Far from it. We still have a lot of story to cover. The following few chapters all take place over the weekend where the Lightwoods are away at a wedding. The chapters will be split into four and as you might have guessed by now, I'm giving you NSFW warning. Happy reading- A
> 
> Song for chapter 21:[ "God Damn You're Beautiful."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NqL124idWc&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=23&t=0s)

It was the next morning when Alec stood at home, leaning against the wall in the hallway. He closed his eyes for a second, taking in the sounds of his siblings squabbling over DVDs for the car and his parents double checking lists to make sure that they had everything packed. All the wonderful chaos that he had missed for so long. Today was Saturday. He had got home late last night and some part of him had wished that he wasn’t going to be left alone today. It was nice to finally be home, even though he would still be under observation for a while. But he had got to ring the bell by the door on the cancer ward, finally signalling that he had won his battle and was going home.

Because everything was still all up in the air, Max had stayed over Andrew and Eleanor's the previous night. He’d only just been dropped off, and since his stuff for the weekend had already been packed for him, he was currently being used to weigh down Izzy’s bag, so that she could get all of her outfits and shoes in.

Max was sat on the bag with his arms and legs crossed. “Izzy, I don’t think It’s going to shut.”

Izzy gestured Jace over and Alec laughed as he lay on the bag. They were leaving this morning and returning the same time on Monday. He didn’t understand why Izzy needed so many clothes. Jace had packed in five minutes and had just tossed everything in.

Max walked over to Maryse and raised his arms up to her. He was getting too big to be picked up now, but he was the last of her babies and she didn’t want to let him grow up just yet. She lifted Max up and balanced him on her hip, struggling to hold him while she put her hand on the other side of his face and kissed his cheek. Max clung around her neck and spoke quietly.

“Momma. You go and I stay and look after Alec. He can’t stay on his own if he’s sick.” Maryse smiled and looked at Alec. They watched as Jace jumped on Izzy’s bag like a starfish and she pulled the zip around finally. They all cheered as Jace lay on his stomach and kicked his legs in victory. Of course, them getting it packed up again would be another problem. But that was one for tomorrow. 

Maryse set Max down and he ran over to Alec, hugging his legs. He stared up at Alec with large, glassy eyes and Maryse nodded from across the room. “Go on. Tell him.”

Max blubbered into Alec’s trousers.

“The nasty doctors are taking you back again, aren’t they!? Please don’t go, Alec. I’ve got vitamins shaped like dinosaurs that will make you better. You can stay here and I’ll look after you. I’ll give you hugs until I squeeze all the badness out that is making you sick.”

Alec crouched down on his knees and Max cried as he hung around his neck, making his shirt damp. “Max- Max- Listen.” Max shook his head as his little hands clutched at Alec’s back. Alec gently detached his hands and wiped Max’s eyes with his sleeve. Maryse passed him a tissue from her bag and Alec wiped Max’s eyes before kissing his forehead. “Moo, listen. The doctors are good. They made me all better. I’m staying home and my cancer’s all gone now-” His voice cracked slightly. “-I’m in remission, Moo.”

Max sniffled as he looked at him. “They took it all away?”

Alec smiled. “Every last bit.”

Max wrapped around his arms around Alec's neck again, but this time he was grinning instead of crying. Alec looked up to see everyone else tearing up. Jace was a sobbing wreck and was lying face down on the sofa with his arms straight down by his sides.

Alec watched as Robert walked over and poked Jace to see if he was okay. Jace insisted it was his horrific allergies, even though there was no pollen today and he’d never had hay fever in his life. Maryse looked at her phone. She hated it, but they would have to leave in a minute.

Max whispered in Alec’s ear. “Did my hugs help take the badness away?”

Alec clutched him tight. He never wanted his little brother to grow up but there was a beautiful pleasure in finally knowing that he would. “Absolutely, Moo. I couldn’t have gotten better without you.”

***

Magnus held his phone to his ear and listened carefully while his aunt spoke on the other end. She wasn’t his aunt really, she was a friend of Asmodeus’. She worked at his company and Magnus had spent quite a lot of time with her over the years. She was fun to be around. More like a big sister who let him get away with more than she should’ve. She had dark hair like Asmodeus and even though they didn’t look alike, people who knew that Magnus referred to her as his aunt often presumed that they were brother and sister.

“Okay, yeah. That’s fine.”

Magnus quickly looked at the time on his phone. His dad had long gone. Left for his business trip, hours ago. Magnus was supposed to be staying with Aunt Lily, but she had come down with a nasty bug and she didn’t want him to catch it. She hadn’t told his dad yet but they were trying to sort something out. Magnus listened again as she spoke.

“I know you don’t like being on your own, but you can call me like you do with your dad-” She paused for a second. The problem with that was that Magnus could have a seizure during the night and no one would be there.

Magnus stopped pacing, as he sprinkled food into Fish’s bowl. He swam around excitedly. "Okay, Lilly, I have an idea, but you have to promise that you won’t tell Father.”

“Ooooh! Actually- I can’t promise that but tell me what it is.”

“My friend is staying home alone this weekend. Maybe if I ask really nicely then I might be able to stay with them. I just need you to cover for me because Dad will freak out about it.”

“Why would he freak out? Surely staying at your friend’s house is a sensible idea. I’m sure their parents won’t mind. We can tell him about that.”

Magnus rubbed his eyes with his fingers. He hated lying to Lily because they told each other everything. “Okay, Lily, you want to know something? He’s not my friend. He’s my boyfriend. Dad is strict about me being back at certain times, even though it’s stupid and pointless, so I know he would say no. If I see if I can spend the weekend at his, will you please cover for me? I’ll owe you big time and I promise to ring or message and let you know that I’m okay.”

She paused for a second. “Can you promise to behave?”

Magnus grinned as he ran his toe over the ground. His phone was between his ear and his shoulder.

“You know me! I can’t promise you that.”

“Maaagnusss.”

“Please-please-please-pleaseeee.”

Lily groaned into the phone. “Fine, but you owe me big time. One more thing-”

Magnus looked at his reflection in the kitchen window. “Yup?”

“If you can’t behave, that’s fine, but if you can’t be good, be safe.”

Magnus nodded. “That’s the stupidest phrase I’ve ever heard; but I promise.”

There was silence for a moment. “So tell me about this boyfriend!”

***

Alec stood next to Jace in the doorway. The last of the bags were being packed up and Izzy and Max were already in the back of the car. Jace smirked at Alec with his arms crossed. “So what time is Magnus getting here?”

Alec narrowed one eye and carried on looking at the car. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, I’m not stupid.”

Alec looked at him. “What do you think I’m playing at, Jace?”

He scoffed “Magnus at his aunt’s. He’s probably in his car around the corner. Ahhhhh. A wholeee weekend with no parents and no rules. Staying here on your own. Pfft, please.”

Maryse looked up from the car. “Right! Jace! Let’s get moving!”

Jace smirked and waved with his finger tips. “Have fuuuun, Alec.”

“You’re deluded, Jace. Deluded!”

Jace waved and his eyes picked up with laughter as Alec’s phone rang. “Tell him I said hi!”

Jace pulled open the car door and got inside. Two seconds later, the car started and Alec waved as they pulled out onto the road. Alec walked back into the house and looked around. It was too quiet really without his siblings, but he’d have plenty to do. Maryse had given him a list of chores and he might have needed to go shopping. Alec dialled back the number and threw himself over the sofa. It was strange little acts like this that he loved. Having the energy to do whatever he liked. He ran his hand over the plaster that covered the little nick from where he’d had his port taken out yesterday. It only took a few minutes to take out, numbing it first. Nothing in comparison to when they put it in.

As soon as he rang, Magnus picked up. “Oh, Alexander, thank goodness.”

Alec sat up. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s just that you didn’t pick up. I was so worried because usually you answer straight away, and then I called back and I thought-”

Alec held his hand up. “Magnus, either you’ve forgotten your anxiety medication or you’re having a panic attack. Grab a cushion and breathe with me.” Both of the young men grabbed a pillow from their respective sofas.This was something they had come across over the past few weeks. They had been going to support group and had been talking about what to do when they were stressed about something. They had come up with this idea and they both benefited from it. They both set their phones on speaker and lay down on their sofas with their phones on their chest and a pillow on their stomach. Alec spoke softly.

“Now remember, if you’re panicking, you breath with your chest and not your stomach. Count with me and breathe so that the cushion goes up and down and not your phone.”

They counted slowly together, breathing in and out ten times and watching as their cushions moved up and down slowly. They had tried it with a whole manner of different objects but a phone and cushion worked best because it added to it that they had a loved one to coach them through it. Alec picked up his phone in his hand as Magnus spoke. He was now much calmer. “Thank you. Sorry, I was just worried about something.”

“You never have to be sorry for anything. Do you want to tell me what’s happened?”

“My father has already left for work and Aunt Lily is sick. She doesn’t want me to go to hers, in case I catch it but-”

“-You can’t be left alone. That’s easy. Stay with me. We can have a relaxed first weekend together. Sort out stuff for when we get Honey. We can cook and play games and watch movies.” Magnus breathed a sigh of relief. He knew that Alec probably wanted a peaceful few nights to himself.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Alec brought his phone from his ear, as it beeped. His phone was dying so he made his way upstairs to use the charger in his room.

“It’s just that I didn’t know if that was crossing some kind of line. I can imagine your mother would probably flip out.”

Alec reached his room and plugged the charger in, setting his phone on speaker and placing it on his bedside table. “My mother doesn’t have to know anything we don’t want to tell her. We’ve slept in the same bed before.-” Alec paused as he noticed a piece of paper on his bed.

“Alec? What is it?” Alec shot up and stood on his bed, looking around the room. “Alec? Why did you stop?!”

“It’s just a stupid thing from Jace. I’ll just finish cleaning up from breakfast if you make your way over.”

Magnus smiled. “Sure. I love you. Thank you for calming me down and letting me stay with you.”

Alec laughed. “No problem. Love you too. See you in a bit.”

Alec hung up and his heart raced as he looked around, the note falling from his hand. Somehow, Jace had managed to fail English. Lit, but this?! This he could do!

 

[ ](https://postimg.cc/BXg4XY86)

“I’m going to kill him. I’m actually going to kill him.” Alec rang Jace from his phone. It rung once and Jace declined the call. Jace sent a gif of an evil raccoon rubbing its hands together and when Alec rang him again, he’d turned his phone off. “I am talking high, HIGH grade torture here.”

Alec threw himself down on his bed before remembering that Magnus would be coming around soon and how suggestive it would look if he was finding condoms in weird places. Alec did a quick scan of the room and managed to find three. One under his pillow, one tucked on the frame of his mirror and one in the pocket of his robe. God knows how many Jace had actually hidden.

Alec ran downstairs and was just finishing with the clearing up by the time Magnus tapped on the door. Alec shouted that it was open, as he carried the last of the bowls and dumped them in the sink. It would only take a second to wash the last of them. The sink was filled with soapy water and as Alec hummed quietly while he cleaned them, Magnus came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, making him drop the bowl with a splash. Alec grinned as Magnus buried his face in his shoulder and grinned back in return. "You’re really distracting. You know that? Why do I get the feeling that we’re going to get nothing done this weekend?”

***

Max wriggled in his car seat. Izzy was crammed in the middle because their parents had used the extra seats in the back for luggage. You would think with the people carrier that there would be enough room, but apparently Izzy took after her mother who had brought as many outfits as she had.

“Mooooom. How long will it be?” Max laughed. Mooing at Maryse to hurry up and park was the thing that had gotten him his nickname.

“Moo cow, we’ve only just set off. Ask Jace if you can watch videos on his phone.”

Jace met eyes with Max, over Izzy’s head as she dug through her bag at her feet. “It’s flat.”

“How can it be flat? You took it off charge before you left the house?”

Izzy spoke as she tried to re-adjust her makeup. They hit a bump and she paused with her mascara wand in the air. “Okay, I don’t know what you’ve done to Clary, but I like her, so if you’ve said something stupid then please just give into your ego for once and apologise. You don’t want to drive her off.”

“Izzy, I am not messing her around!”

Robert looked in the mirror as he turned around the corner. “Hang on a second? Clary Fairchild? Luke Garroway’s step daughter?”

Izzy pulled her belt and stuck her head between the front two seats. “You know her stepdad?”

“Sure. He’s high up in the police force. When there was that break in at work last year, he was the one who came to investigate it. Believe me, Jace. He will defend that girl with his life. If you’re messing her around-”

“I am not messing her around!”

***

Alec laughed as Magnus kissed him and pushed him backwards into his room. Their faces pressed together as Alec tried to hop out of his shoes. He pulled Magnus on top of him as he fell down on his bed, relishing in the fact that no one else was there and they didn’t have to close the door or be quiet. 

Magnus groaned quietly as their jaws moved in alternating sequence. As he straddled Alec on the bed, his hands were already picking up at Alec’s shirt. Alec squealed as Magnus touched the spot where he knew he was ticklish.

They stopped kissing for a second and looked at each other. Magnus laughed and buried his head in Alec’s chest. It was rising up and down quickly. Alec licked his lips and whispered. “What on Earth is going on here?!”

Magnus laughed and rolled onto his back. “I don’t know. I seem to remember your hands covered in bubbles and- Alec? I got you were keen but why is there a condom in your light shade?” 

Alec’s face went bright red and he covered it with his hands. “I was hoping to avoid it. Jace has been messing with me and leaving them everywhere. We’ll have to think of some way to get back at him.”

Magnus stood up on the bed and Alec held his hands up, in a reflex, in case Magnus fell. He jumped up slightly, knocking the light shade. When the condom fell, Magnus picked it up and crashed down so he was sitting on the bed. He twirled the packet suggestively. “Why don’t we play him at his own game?”

Alec sat up on his elbows. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, he’s obviously trying to embarrass you. If he was so sure that I would end up staying here, then don’t deny it. Bluntly thank him and don't give him the satisfaction of winding you up. When someone gives you a means, you- use it.”

Alec leaned back. “Man, you really are trying to get in my pants, aren’t you?”

“You don’t have a good defence, Alexander, when your hand is already drifting to your fly.”

Alec threw his head back and laughed as Magnus crawled over to him. “Were you REALLY supposed to go to your aunt’s in the first place?”

“I was actually but – this will be so much more fun.”

Magnus grinned as Alec pulled him closer by his shirt. Magnus ran his hand over the back of Alec’s neck, moving his fingers through his hair. He broke away for a second and smiled shyly. “I love you so much, Alexander. I think this weekend will be amazing.” 

Alec kissed his top lip before speaking, his hands were on Magnus’ back, sliding under his shirt. “I love you too. Just you- and me- and a whole house to ourselves-”

Magnus kissed him back, tracing his tongue through Alec’s mouth. “That’s a whole lotta house-”

Alec broke the kiss and pulled up Magnus’ shirt, helping him take it over his head. “We don’t even have to go out-”

Magnus grinned as he pulled off Alec’s top. Alec watched as Magnus’ traced his thumb over the plaster on his chest.

Magnus flipped them over, so he was underneath, and rubbed his nose against Alec’s as they giggled. “We don’t even have to wear clothes-”

Alec gasped. Magnus’ hand went down the back of his trousers and he smoothed it over his butt. Alec put his hand against Magnus’ face. “I may have to take you up on that-”

Alec sat up excitedly and watched as Magnus slowly reached over to him and pulled down his zip. Magnus moved the pillow and pushed Alec back, so that Alec was laying flat. Magnus lowered himself slowly, barely touching their lips together. He purred as Alec lifted his head and tried to kiss him. “I might make you work for it-”

Alec threw Magnus underneath him, running his tongue over Magnus’ nipple in one long and languorous stroke. Magnus moaned and shivered with his mouth open, trying not to laugh as he tilted his head back.  “Are you sure you’ll wait that long, Magnus?”

Magnus shook his head as Alec laughed and slid Magnus’ pants down. Alec pushed them off the bed, onto the floor, and Magnus laughed as Alec jumped up and kicked his own off. “Aren’t I supposed to be doing that, Alexander?” Alec giggled against Magnus neck as he jumped back on the bed and rolled them over twice, so that Alec ended up on the bottom. Magnus shook his head and kissed Alec’s neck as he chuckled. “Man, you have got it bad today!”

Alec pushed Magnus over, so that he himself was now on top. Alec rocked their hips together and Magnus exclaimed a sound somewhere between a laugh and the sound you make when you hit your toe. Alec grumbled with a low voice. “Do you want to tease me or do you want my boxers off?”

“Alec, I know you’re trying to be seductive but if I waited, I can assure you-” Alec rocked their hips together again. “Ugggh! -that you would have them off- ughh- in the next thirty se-conds.”

Alec groaned and laughed against his mouth. “Okay, good point. This is getting unbearable.” Magnus pushed Alec over and walked across the room. He'd been part of a theatre group before he got sick and was planning to start going back again. They had always said that there was a fine line between making your audience wait and keeping them in suspense and ruining the show by putting it off for too long. Alec was almost squirming on his back as Magnus slowly ambled over to the window and pulled the curtain across. “Magnus, I’m not messing around! Hurry up!”

Magnus stretched his back slowly and dug to the back of Alec’s draw. Alec had his face buried in one of his pillows and was fighting his body with every ounce of defiance that he had. Magnus strolled back over with the warming lubricant and one of the new condoms they had bought yesterday. Alec was pulling himself up to reach his lap and Magnus batted his hand away. “Okay! You wanted me to beg you? Then fine! Dear for the sweet love-”

Magnus pushed him backwards and Alec’s head hit the pillow with a thud. “Hold ON a second!”

Alec tucked his legs up. “This is torture! Pure! Absolute!- oh-” Alec rolled his head back as he felt Magnus slide the condom onto him. A second later, as Magnus’ hand slid up and down him, he clapped as he was gifted with a pleasant, warming sensation. “Oh. That feels so good.”

Magnus laughed. “I’m going to do it by hand, okay? Let’s start slow. There’s no point rushing in when we have a whole weekend together.” Alec nodded with his head back. He felt Magnus kissing a trail down his stomach as he breathed out of his nose. It was wonderful and yet unbearable as he felt the pressure building up and up. Alec sighed. “Magnus-”

“Ssssh.”

Magnus pulled Alec so he was sitting up and he crossed his arms behind Alec’s neck, literally taking his breath away as he kissed him slowly and parted Alec’s lips with his tongue. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’ back. Their kisses didn’t always need to be crazy and intense, sometimes it was the sweet little gestures that did the trick. Magnus observed Alec was getting increasingly harder by the second. He was too, but he knew how to compose himself much better. He pulled Alec up by his arm and led him over to the wall. Alec crossed his arms over his head and leaned against it. His legs shook as Magnus ran his hands all the way up his thighs to the spot that he liked them placed under his ribs. “Magnus? Where are you going?” Alec turned his head slightly as Magnus disappeared and reappeared behind him.

“To take my boxers off. I’m just as uncomfortable as you are.”

Alec put his head back under his arms, as Magnus slid his hands over his waist. He took Alec in both his hands and kissed between his shoulder blades. Alec’s legs trembled as Magnus took him in his hands and moved them in several slow and sleepy strokes. “Uggghh. Magnus, your hands are magic.”

Magnus closed his eyes. He rested his cheek against Alec’s back as his hands increased in speed. His body was turned to the side slightly. With Alec naked and standing in front of him, everything was leading in the right direction for full penetrative sex. Which he wasn’t sure that Alec was ready for yet.

Alec moaned and stood up straighter, putting his hands over Magnus’. Alec guided Magnus with the occasional moan and shortly after, he was groaning and thrusting his hips into both of their hands. Alec turned around and moved across the room, throwing himself on the bed as he pulled Magnus down on top of him.

“I’m close. Take me in your mouth.”

Magnus looked at him. He was keen but thought things were going to take a slower start. Alec threw his head back and Magnus rushed back over to the draw. He opened the strawberry flavoured bottle and put a few drops on his lips. Alec nodded desperately and as Magnus ducked his head, Alec lifted his hips to meet him. Magnus licked Alec’s pounding tip for a second before he began to slide his length into his mouth.

Alec threw his head back and his knuckles went white as he gripped the bed. The climax came in long, hot waves that coursed through his body and shook him down to his very soul. Magnus expertly guided Alec in and out of his throat and Alec could feel every inch being devoured, over and over again as Magnus massaged at him with his hands.

“Uggggh, Magnus- Go faster- go faster!” Magnus increased in speed and pressure until Alec’s vision was going dark around the edges. As Alec finally started to relax, Magnus threw himself down onto his back and a few seconds later, Alec followed and lay over him. Their mouths clashed together in a burning frenzy as their hips clashed together, over and over again. Magnus mumbled as Alec kissed his neck. “Alec, draw.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Alec returned a second later and slid the condom on. Magnus watched as Alec touched the strawberry lubricant to his mouth, the way he had.

“Are you sure you’re not too-Urgghh” Magnus shivered as Alec ran his tongue all the way down the side of his length. Magnus had been containing himself quite quietly, but the second Alec parted his lips and took him in his mouth, he was gone. He thrusted his hips as he climaxed. Waves of pure adulterated pleasure. When Alec’s jaw began to tire, he lay over Magnus and kissed him softly, dragging out every last little movement with his hand until Magnus’ breathing slowed.

They both panted and Alec grinned, burying his damp forehead against Magnus’ chest. “That was good. I love you so much”

Magnus laughed. “That was good, and I love you too. Come here and lay by me.” After both of them tied their condoms and chucked them in the bin under Alec’s desk, Alec walked back over and lay down next to Magnus. He closed his eyes and wrapped one arm over his chest. They stayed there with their eyes closed for a moment, happy to be taking in the sound of each other’s breathing and their normalising heart rates.

Alec chuckled against Magnus' chest. “So much for taking it slow.”

***

“Moooom! Izzy’s talking to boys again!”

Izzy rolled her eyes and Maryse hit her head repeatedly against the window. Between the kids arguing, two stops for Max to pee, and the one time they had to go back because Jace left her purse in the gas station, Maryse was exhausted and wondering how she ever got this done with four kids. Even if Alec usually just listened to music and ignored everyone.

Izzy pushed Jace over. He was falling asleep on her shoulder and as she shoved him, he hit his head against the glass. He always got sleepy on long car journeys but Izzy was waiting until the right moment to announce that he'd been up all night on the phone with Clary. 

“Mom! Izzy shoved me and made me hit my head.”

“Are you bleeding?”

Jace put his hand to his head and looked at it. “...No.”

Robert cheered in exhaustion as they pulled in front of a big manor house. The woman who was getting married was one of their friends and her parents had won some questionable insurance pay out a few years ago. They would be staying in two of the rooms that were located at the back of the manor house. Parents in one and kids sharing in the other. Maryse had crossed her fingers that herself and Robert would get put in one far away from the kids. She loved them, of course, but between the late nights that they would all have, weak alcohol, and the kids probably being stuffed with sugary cake, she wanted to be as far away from them as possible.

***

Magnus laughed as he sat back in the passenger seat. “It’s funny how you and Izzy are polar opposites.”

Alec kept his eyes on the road as he gripped the steering wheel like a vice. “What do you mean by that?”

Magnus laughed again. “How do I put this delicately? She drives like a turbo jet.”

Alec continued looking at the road. “Yeah, so?”

“Alexander, you just been taken over by a woman on a mobility scooter.”

Alec rolled his eyes as he put his foot down slightly. “The yellow light means get ready, not go! I was getting ready and she was on the pavement. It’s not my fault that you’re a great driver. It makes me look worse.”

Magnus laughed, holding on to the handle above the door. The car jolted as Alec slammed the break and Magnus gritted his teeth. “It’s fine! You haven’t driven in months probably. Just don’t tell my Father that you’re driving our car or he may just freak out because you’re not exactly insured on it, are you?”

Alec’s eyes widened. “Your dad doesn't know that I'm with you, let alone driving your car. Hang on-WHAT?! How illegal is this?!”

Magnus looked at his nails. The supermarket was next to the main mall and he wanted to get a better black polish that didn’t chip so much.

“Magnus?!”

“Whaaaat?! We’re literally pulling in now- Take that space in the corner!- I don’t want to get the car scratched up if your parking is as bad as your driving- anywayy- What about when we live together? Or when we get married? You’re going to have to practice if both of us are going to drive.” Alec slammed the break and Magnus’ belt caught over his shoulder. Alec clutched his hand to his chest. They were lucky that the car park was reasonably empty.

“Don’t drop things like that on me!?”

Magnus blinked at him. “It was just a reflex. We always talk about the rest of our lives. That means marriage and a white picket fence, doesn’t it?”

Alec laughed. “Yes, but we don’t need to have those conversations yet.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re avoiding talking about something?”

Alec put his hand on the door handle.

Magnus pouted his lip slightly. Alec was upset about something. It was okay if he didn’t want to talk, but Magnus was willing to try anything to make him feel better.

Magnus gestured for Alec to follow him. He walked around the back and opened the trunk so they could sit next to each other and talk. Alec followed slowly and rung his hands nervously, sitting down next to Magnus. The seats were still flat in the back, so there was plenty of room to sit.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you know. I can just sit here with you if you want. Until you're ready to go shopping.”

Alec sighed and rubbed his eyes. Today was supposed to be a happy day, but his problems caught up with him sometimes and he still found himself emotional both because of his treatment and what he had been through. It made him feel even worse that he was even feeling like that in this moment. Today. He was alive and that was something to be thankful for.

“They did some tests on me while I was in hospital. I’m going to have some symptoms for a while. Maybe a long time. I guess I was just frightened about it. Talking about the future is so scary when I’m just trying to survive in the now and take each day as I can.”

Magnus sat back on his hands. “Okay. I get it. I’m sorry. Some things are a long way away and we don’t need to talk about them now.” He smiled. “I just get a bit excited sometimes.”

Alec smiled back at him for a second, before looking down at his hands again. “You still have lots of symptoms, don’t you? How do you deal with it?”

Magnus held out his hand and Alec linked their fingers over his knee. “You just do. Some days you just have to be strong because there’s nothing else you can do. When you’ve already gone so far, what’s the point in giving up? It would mean that every little battle or struggle that you ever went through, everything that made you stronger, was for nothing.”

Alec nodded with tears in his eyes and Magnus brushed his cheek with his thumb. “Magnus, I love you.”

“I love you too. Are you okay?” Alec nodded but looked down again. Magnus put his arm around his shoulder and kissed the side of his head. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Alec lifted his legs and curled himself up. Like Magnus’ breathing exercises, Alec liked to make himself as small as he could when he was upset, in the hope that the gentle pressure would do the same with his problems. He took a deep breath and leaned into Magnus. “A little while ago, they started doing a few tests on me. No big deal. Just to see if everything was working and improving so I had all the information for when I got to come home eventually-”

Magnus nodded. Alec was making it seem less than it was. The tests were horrible and endless and he wanted to hunt down the doctors for doing them, even if they were necessary. “-Well they told me some of the things they found. They thought maybe I had anxiety but I don’t know if I want to see anyone about it yet. They said everything was going according to plan but something flagged up on my blood tests and then they came back and asked me to do another test for them. It was awful and humiliating and I hated them for it.” Magnus looked at him. His eyes were already tearing up, before Alec had even said what he wanted to. He had a feeling what it was.

“Alexander? What did they find?”

Alec curled up tighter in the back of the car and burst into tears with his arms over his head. “Magnus, I can’t have children!” Magnus put his hand over his mouth and tears fell down his face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you! It was destroying me because I was scared it was a deal breaker for us. I’ve seen how much you like little kids and Max-” Alec had to stop speaking because his breathing was getting out of control.

Magnus lifted his legs in the trunk so he was sitting inside and pulled Alec against him, holding him tightly. “Alec breathe. Count to ten with me- One-”

“Magnus I am so sorry! I should have told you!-”

“-Alec, I can’t have children either!”

Alec lifted his head and gasped. “...What?”

Magnus pulled Alec’s face against him. They held each other in the back of the car. "Alec, the same happened to me-" He wiped his eyes as he groaned. "-because of chemo. Every time we've talked about the future, it's been in my head because I’ve seen how you are with Max. I kept putting it off-”

Alec shook his head and put his hands on either side of Magnus’ face.  “I don’t care about that if you don’t. Magnus, I grew up hating myself for who I was. I never thought I’d ever find someone so wise and generous. Someone I could have all that with. And then I was scared because I didn't know how you felt- but I was so afraid to lose you because people like you come around once in a lifetime. I've always dreamed of meeting someone like you. People like me don't even get to find people like you! You’re incredible-” Alec gasped and stopped rambling as Magnus’ lips clashed with his own, in a fever hot embrace. He’d felt so isolated for so long, never realising that Alec was going through the exact same thing.

Alec pulled him against his chest, fisting Magnus' shirt into his hand.

Magnus met his eyes. Bright and sparkling with life. “Is everything okay then? We’re both sorted now? No more secrets? Promise me no more secrets!”

"I promise you. No more secrets." Alec nodded quickly, pulling Magnus on top of himself, pulling him even closer than he thought possible. They both gasped and breathed deeply as Alec grinned. “We could adopt.”

Those three little words were all it took from Alec and Magnus was gone. In all his wildest dreams, he’d never imagined finding someone who not only accepted all of his flaws but loved him for them too. Their mouths made little noises as their tongues and jaws moved together in unison, finally finding the feeling of being whole after so long with it playing on their minds. Alec murmured against Magnus’ mouth as he straddled him and they rocked their hips together, not caring that they were in the corner of a car park. Even though there were no cars nearby, it added to the fear and the paralysing intensity of what they had surprisingly found between themselves again in the heat of that moment. The new and fun discovery that beautiful things like this could happen, would happen, for as long as they couldn't manage to keep their hands off each other.

Alec lay on his back and his cheekbones went red as Magnus pulled the trunk shut.

***

Maryse walked down the hallway, chuckling with her phone in her hand. They’d been at the venue for a few hours and Alec wasn’t picking up his phone. In a panic, she’d rung her neighbour opposite. Apparently Alec was a little bit of dark horse and had been doing some sneaking around.

Robert whispered to her over the table as Jace lifted his face from the pile of food he had gathered. “Who was that?! Why’d your phone go off?!”

Maryse picked up a forkful of food, trying to keep a straight face. Robert bumped her knee three times. She had grown up with very strict parents and when they began dating, it was how he signalled he wanted to speak to her without making it obvious. He would go out for something and Maryse would follow a minute later. Jace and Izzy were sat opposite and Max was on the end of the table next to Maryse.

“Nobody. Okay- I just texted Alec to see if he was okay and he rang me. He’s going shopping for groceries.”

Izzy watched as Max leaned across and slid one of her fries off her plate. One of the nice crispy ones that she was saving for last. “HEY!”

Jace grinned, still with his mouth full of food. “How’s Magnus?”

Maryse blinked at him while Robert got up, announcing he was going to the bathroom. “I don’t know. Alec's not with him.”

Izzy chased after Max’s hand with her fork. Jace had somehow convinced her too. She looked at Max who was bumping two chips together and making kissy noises. “I hope if they’re...hugging, that It’s not happening where I watch my TV.”

Maryse rolled her eyes. It was none of their business. They shouldn’t have even been talking about it. “Well, they are adults and what they get up to is their business. Magnus is with his aunt though so once again, Alec is not with him.”

Maryse excused herself from the table for a second. Robert was around the corner and caught her arm as she went past. “Hey. Who was call-”

“ALEC IS WITH MAGNUS!!”              

***

Alec lay on his back and panted. “Well-that-that escalated quickly.”

Magnus grinned as he straddled Alec’s lap and did his belt and zip up with shaking hands. “I'm sorry-I-I don't know what came over me- I don’t know what happened there.”

Magnus let Alec go and they lay side by side for a moment. Alec was rolling his head back as his chest went up and down. “Believe me! I am NOT complaining. As nice as that was though, I think we need to go shopping. Now all that's sorted and out of the way.”

Magnus laughed, pulling Alec up by his arm and kissing him softly. “Score two for me.”

“What do you mean ‘score two’ for you? It takes two to tango, Magnus.”

Magnus laughed as he pushed the trunk open. “Yes, but it was me who pushed you into your room and you never would have had THAT done to you in the back of a car park unless I had initiated it.”

“Oh, you are so competitive! I might have asked you politely!” Magnus laughed and Alec rolled his eyes. He jumped out of the car, actually seeing how steady he was on his feet first. He held out his hand to Magnus, helping him jump out himself. “I didn’t realise this was supposed to be a competition.”

Magnus grinned as Alec tossed him the keys. He clicked them twice and they started walking hand in hand to the supermarket. “Oh, am I supposed to just let you win?”

By the time they had decided to get a trolley and not a basket, Alec had got his breath back. Even though he had, his heart was still singing and he couldn’t meet eyes with anyone in the store without blushing. Magnus had wanted to hold his hand the entire time but apparently his trolley pushing skills were not as good as his driving and so they had to let go of each other’s hands.

Alec watched as Magnus scanned the aisle, reading the precise list that Alec had been given, and recommending things for Alec to try sometime. Things that he loved himself and bought for his own house. As he turned away, Alec was putting them into the trolley. Him and Magnus had very different food tastes, but he wasn’t going anywhere. Alec wanted him to feel at home in the house and was seriously considering just giving up his dignity and begging Maryse when she got back to just let Magnus stay there a few nights a week.

When they’d gotten the essentials, they decided to make their way over to the aisle that housed sweets and snacks. They were planning to find a movie later and wanted something to have while they cuddled up on the sofa for their first proper evening together. Alec made pretty good pasta, which he knew Magnus loved, so they were going to try and cook together later and see how it went. Alec had always hated shopping with his parents but there was something so freeing and domestic about making the decisions with Magnus, about what they were going to get, and all the new possibilities that they had together.

Magnus stood in the aisle as Alec told him that he’d never eaten peanut butter cups before. Maybe he wasn’t a chocolate person but Magnus had insisted that he try them. Magnus reached up on his tiptoes and shivered as he felt Alec’s hands on his waist, just brushing his skin as his shirt lifted up. “Ohmygod, you are so adorable! You can’t reach the top shelf.”

Magnus turned around, trying to look annoyed but doing a very bad job of it. “Stop being mean! It’s not my fault that you’re a tree! I’m not short by the way, you are just a freak of nature.”

Alec laughed as he grabbed a couple of packets. He chucked the rest in but kept one to look and see what the hype was about. They carried on walking down the aisle and Alec read off it, Magnus walking slightly ahead with the trolley. “There. I think that’s it. Was there anything else you wanted?

Magnus carried on walking ahead as Alec read with his head down. “Do you have bubble bath at yours?”

“I think so. In my cabinet somewhere. The bathroom going off my room only has a bath and the family one only has a shower so at least I don’t have to fight over everything with my siblings. I got the biggest room other than my parent’s one because I’m the oldes- that’s a pretty random thing to ask. Why did you ask that?”

Magnus carried on walking. “Well, I just thought if we wanted a bath together later then we better get some.” Magnus heard the packet drop to the floor. “What is it?”

Alec caught up, walking much quicker than he had been before. “I thought that was something from movies. You can actually do that?!"

Magnus laughed. "Of course! Would that be okay? I get that might not be your thing-"

They paused for a second as a few people passed them. "Are you kidding me?! Hurry up so we can get home and have dinner already!!"

They collected the few other things they wanted and made their way over to the till. Alec was surprisingly quiet but that was because his family were well known there and if it made it back to his parents that Magnus was with him, he would be expecting his phone to blow up with more than a few calls.

The woman scanned the items through and listened as Magnus suggested ideas to Alec for their dinner and how he was probably better at judging how much to make because he always cooked for himself and his dad. Alec argued that he cooked more often so he would be the better cook and their best option. The woman tried not to laugh as Alec stood behind Magnus with his hands on Magnus' waist. Magnus' arms were behind his head and were lightly and affectionately brushing either side of Alec's neck. 

"Are not!" 

"Am to!" 

"Are not!!"

"Am to!"

The woman finished scanning as they giggled and made childish sounds of annoyance at each other. Magnus turned his head up and rubbed their noses together. Alec kissed him softly with his eyes closed and blushed as she cleared her throat.

Magnus looked at the final price on the screen and handed his card to her. Alec protested strongly but Magnus wasn't having any of it.

The woman laughed and joked as they finished putting their stuff into bags. She handed Magnus his card back. "So, you two been married long?" 

Alec blinked at her. “What?”

Magnus turned to him and laughed before winking. “Alexander, relax. I haven’t gotten your ring yet.”

Alec went even redder and gasped as Magnus linked their fingers. Alec turned to the cashier again and chuckled, holding up his free hand. “No, no. We’re not married” and then turned to Magnus as he grabbed the trolley to leave. “Maybe we should pick up some toys for the baby before we go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! If you'd like to leave a comment, please do so underneath or use the hashtag #Flutterfic on twitter. Thanks <3


	22. House Husbands: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recently discharged from hospital, Alec is planning to spend a quiet weekend alone. It's only when the phone rings that plans are changed and he has an unexpected visitor.
> 
> "Dinner is better when we cook it together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just adding a NSFW warning and an expression that any pizza opinions from this chapter, pineapple or otherwise, may or may not reflect my individual views.
> 
> Song for chapter 22:[ "You Are Enough."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASuQbXT2IV0&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=24&t=0s)

It was just about evening by the time Alec had walked into the house and chucked his keys onto the kitchen table. Magnus walked behind, carrying two of the bags and blubbering as he went.

“Magnus, we’re just leaving her for two days. Not even that. Just tomorrow and then on Monday afternoon, we can go get her!”

Magnus set the bags down. “But she’s so little. What if she doesn’t understand? Her Dada and Papa keep showing up and then we have to leave her there! What if she thinks we’ve abandoned her?!”

Alec pulled a bag from him and set it on the table. He walked over to the sink and ran his hands under the tap. “Magnus! She’s fine! She knows we love her and that we’re coming back for her. Let’s just get food sorted. It’ll distract you.”

Magnus pouted. “Fineee. I’m going to put my pyjamas on.”

Alec nodded as he dried his hands and pulled out a chopping board. “Your bag is in my room. I hung your robe on the back of my door. I’ll get started and we can put most of the stuff away later. I’ll pull the ice cream out and put the meat in the fridge”

Magnus chuckled, feeling slightly confused. “...Why did you pull my robe out of my bag?”

Alec blushed and turned around to face the stove. “You left your bag open when you changed your shoes. I thought it would look cute hanging next to mine on the door.”

By the time Alec had put the ice cream and meat away, and had gotten the water boiling on the stove, Magnus’ footsteps could be heard pattering down the stairs. Considering how much he had gone on about cooking, he didn’t actually seem that interested in helping out with it. Alec felt Magnus’ chin rest on his shoulder. Magnus’ voice purred in his ear, tickling Alec’s ear with his breath. “What if I told you that I had absolutely nothing on under this robe?”

Alec carried on looking ahead, as if fascinated by the boiling water that had yet to have any pasta put in it. Alec’s voice croaked slightly. “I would say that you’re trying to get another score on whatever twisted chart you have by initiating something and making me cave.”

Alec felt Magnus’ cat-like grin over his shoulder. He heard the sound of paper and Magnus held up a roughly drawn tally chart with an ‘A’ on one side and an ‘M’ on the other. There were two strokes under Magnus’ name and Alec’s side was blank. Alec grinned as he tried to snatch it, presumably to put it in the pot on the stove. Magnus ran away with it and Alec chased him around the kitchen table.

Alec reached for it again and Magnus gracefully slid on the kitchen tiles. Apparently his theatre group had done wonders for his manoeuvrability. Alec laughed. “Oh, you are SO dead! Give it here!”

Magnus tried to run past him and Alec caught his waist with one arm. Alec finally snatched the paper from his hand and held it high enough so that Magnus couldn’t grab it. Magnus jumped up and laughed as Alec held it over his head. “You’re just jealous I got two marks because you’re easy!

“Oh! Is that how you want to play?! I am not easy! You’re just extremely hot and have an ass that just won’t quit!”

“Are you kidding me!? I could whip this robe open right now and you’d be in a puddle at my feet!”

“You can try but thanks to your little drawing, you’re not getting lucky tonight!”

Magnus threw up his hands, still trying not to laugh. “Fine! You’ll crack before I do!”

Alec shook his head. “Not a chance!” He walked over to the fridge and pinned up the paper with two magnets. He strolled across the room and crossed his arms at Magnus while he smirked. “Fine! I’m going to get changed then! Put the pasta in and I’ll be back!”

Magnus turned around and tipped a good portion of the pasta into the pot. Alec had bought pesto somewhere and it was in one of the bags. The packet said that the pasta would take ten to twelve minutes to cook, so he had plenty of time to look around. Within seconds, he found the little pot in one of the smaller bags. Alec apparently had a better knack for organisation than he had for keeping his pants on. Magnus stood facing the door with the little pot in his hand. He caught Alec’s return in the corner of his eye, but didn’t look up from reading. He continued to look down as Alec spoke, leaning against the door frame. “You know I have something that could get you to cave right now. I’m going to get me a line on that paper, Magnus.”

Magnus continued to look down. “Yuh, huh? Well good luck becau-” Magnus lifted his head and the jar of pesto fell from his hand, the lid breaking open across the tiles. Alec was facing him, leaning against the door frame in just an open robe and nothing else.

“Oh, come on! That’s hardly fair!”

Alec chuckled as he walked over, avoiding the mess, and put his arms around Magnus’ neck. Magnus licked his lips and spoke in a strained voice as he tried to keep his eyes from drifting down. “If you are insisting...that pasta will take ten minutes at least…”

Alec whispered in his ear before pressing their lips together. “We could do a lot in ten minutes…”

***

"Maryse, will you please stop pacing?" Robert sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes.

"He should have told us he was letting Magnus spend the weekend!"

Robert stood up. Maryse was looking in the mirror and she watched as he walked up behind her. She grumbled and looked teary as she tried to put her earrings in. Maryse was always composed but this wasn't her when she was angry. This was something different.

"He deliberately disobeyed us. What? Did he think we weren't going to find out?"

Robert put his hands on her shoulders. "Maryse, we both know that isn't what it is about."

"Then enlighten me, Robert. My young son, still recovering from cancer, decides to invite his boyfriend to our house without asking and then lacks the decency to tell me the truth when he calls, pretending that nothing is going on and that he's having a fine time by himself?"

Robert turned his head and grumbled, walking around so Maryse had to meet his eyes. "Maryse, look at me-"

"No-

"Look at me!" Maryse wiped her eyes and Robert pulled her close. It was nearly evening and everyone would be meeting downstairs for drinks in a minute. Robert spoke softly. "I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Alec is an adult now. Everything that happens with him and Magnus is their own business. They are in a relationship and that includes everything that comes with it. I know Alec and he would NEVER want to talk about any of that with us. I know he is still your little baby, and he always will be, but he's also a man who is in love. We are going to have to accept that and let him grow up. I know he has been sick and we want to wrap him up but it has also made us all more aware of the need to live the best lives we can. That includes Alec. Yes, he is recovering, but for the first time in a long time, he is both happy and healthy. That's all we want for any of our children."

Maryse nodded and wiped her cheek. She could hear Jace and Izzy arguing in the hall. She laughed a little. "I guess there's still plenty more to look after."

Robert chuckled and kissed her head. "Just wait until Jace is that age-"

Maryse held up her hand and walked towards the door. "Let's not go there yet, okay? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Besides, like I said, Alec is still recovering. I'll let it go this time and ignore what may or may not be going on at home, but only because they are both unwell and I know they're not going to go too mad."

***

Within seconds of their kiss, Magnus’ robe was being untied from around his waist. Alec thought to himself, as his arms went around Magnus’ back. He wished he could go back to his lonely sixteen year old self and tell him of what he was going to have in this very room. His sixteen year old self who came downstairs at night and cried as he sat at the kitchen table because he didn’t believe others could ever love him when he couldn’t even love himself. Here he was with everything he had ever wished for, quite literally at his fingertips. He wished he could tell his sixteen year old self that he was going to be the luckiest man in the entire world. He just had to be patient and he’d have everything he ever wanted.

Magnus groaned against Alec’s mouth, thankful that he’d drawn the blinds before he’d started cooking. Alec slipped Magnus’ robe from his shoulders and tossed it through the door and into the hall. Alec’s robe quickly followed and as they both stood naked in the kitchen, they clashed together in a burning frenzy, Magnus pushing Alec backwards so he hit the tall breakfast table with a gentle bump.

Alec’s hands slid over Magnus side and gripped his bottom firmly. Magnus groaned in approval as Alec squeezed his hands, pulling Magnus even closer into him. Their hips were firmly pressed together, painfully so, as Alec tilted his head back and Magnus ran his tongue over Alec’s neck. Magnus’ hands were sliding flat over Alec’s stomach. Alec bit his lip and gasped as Magnus pulled his skin between his teeth. Magnus spoke with muffled speech before licking Alec’s neck again. “Our condoms are upstairs. Do you want me to stop and get them?”

Alec shook his head. “I have an idea.”

He moved away for a second and pushed one of the stools over. He whispered a silent apology and a promise of a thorough cleaning before climbing up with his foot on the stool and sitting down on the edge of the table. Magnus rushed forward and ran his tongue down the length of Alec’s thigh. Alec’s hands were in his hair and he groaned as his legs shook and Magnus moved his head, taking Alec’s pounding tip in his mouth. Alec put his hands flat on the table, His legs were hanging over the edge and Magnus lifted them so Alec’s legs were over his shoulders. Alec inched forward and thanked the heavens that he was still slightly underweight and that Magnus was used to lugging around heavy bags of pet food. Magnus stood up properly and lifted him so that Alec was sitting on his shoulders. He quickly raced across the room and pinned Alec against the wall, holding Alec's butt in his hands.

Alec’s fingers combed through Magnus’ hair, his own head turned to the side. He thrusted his hips forward and Magnus tasted the start of his labours in his mouth. Magnus pulls his head away for a second. Being on his shoulders, Alec hadn’t realised how hard Magnus was becoming underneath him. Magnus took a breath, not wanting to lose control and come all over the wall of Alec’s family kitchen. As he felt Magnus’ shoulders shake, Alec asked to be set down. Magnus did as he pleased and lowered him down slowly, thinking maybe Alec was tired or didn’t want this to be happening in the kitchen. It was only when Alec grabbed his hand and ran him past the stairs that Magnus realised Alec had other plans. Alec pulled him over to the couch and climbed to lay over him, giving him full access to take him in his mouth again. The only difference this time is that Alec was now in such a position that he could take Magnus in his mouth at the same time. Without a moment’s hesitation, they both began to move in unison, lifting their heads and thrusting their hips in a perfect rhythm. Alec groaned as he licked at the end of Magnus’ tip. Trying to keep his focus and remember to move his mouth and give as well as move his hips and receive. Alec breathed heavily out of his nose. “Magnus-”

Magnus ran his hands over Alec’s bottom. Pulling his cheeks apart as he easily took Alec’s length in his throat. Alec's eyes rolled back and he took slightly longer to find the right method but pretty soon, they were both moving in waves and gasping.

Alec groaned and spoke through the tightening pressure in his mouth.

“Ugghhh- I’m close.”

Magnus nodded the best he could. “Me too. Pick up speed.”

As they moved together, Alec came slightly quicker and Magnus swallowed as he felt Alec pounding in his mouth, releasing everything he had in thick hot waves. Magnus came shortly after. Alec spluttered as he tried to swallow, not doing a bad job but still needing practise. As they tired, Alec collapsed slightly onto his side, wiping his chin.

"Holy shit, Alexander." 

Alec didn't reply for a second and then he sat up. "Something's burning-"

Magnus panted with his eyes closed. "Well, that- that was probably-pretty rough going for you without lubricant-AND that is the third time you've had that done to you today. Maybe we should take it-" 

Alec shot up. "No, Magnus-"

Their eyes widened as they met across the couch.

"The pasta!"

"The pasta!"

Alec threw himself over the couch and ran into the kitchen, finding his robe on the way and chucking his arms into it. With his own robe still discarded in the hallway, Magnus strolled lazily behind him, stretching with his hands on his back. "Holy fuck, Alexander. I think I pulled something-"

Alec was chuckling wickedly as he raced to grab the pot off the stove. Magnus took note of Alec’s priority when it came to fire safety concerns. His first move had been to add a line under his name on the fridge. He nervously chucked the pot in the sink and turned the cold tap on. The room filled with a sizzling sound and that was when Magnus finally came round and saw the smoke. He lifted the blinds slightly, tying them up a little, and pushed the window open. Alec lifted the pot and looked at it. All the water had boiled away, just leaving a charred black mess.

Magnus looked over Alec’s shoulder. "Alexander, I think you might have over cooked it."

***

"No, no. You've got to carry the four over underneath and add it to those numbers there."

Clary sighed and rubbed at the paper with the end of her pencil. Simon was frustratingly good at this maths homework and his good mood wasn't helping. "So what do you do with-oh, forget it! Who needs it anyway? half the stuff they teach us we're never going to use anyway. They should just let me stay in the art classrooms all day"

Simon walked over and yawned as he looked through the paper. He usually would have circled Clary's mistakes in red pen for her, but she didn't usually make many. She couldn't focus today and so far, she had been messing up all evening. "You do realise you're not concentrating because Jace is texting every few seconds?"

Clary's phone buzzed as Simon held up his hands. She entered a quick message and tapped at the heart emoji over and over. She clicked send before wiggling her finger at Simon and holding out her hand. "So?! Show me one of Izzy's uploads from today that you haven't liked or commented on."

Simon hissed and clutched his phone to his chest.

***

Forty minutes had passed by the time Alec and Magnus’ pizza had arrived. It had taken them a while to decide what toppings they wanted because they couldn’t agree on anything. The pizza place that Alec always used knew the house well. What the usual delivery guy hadn’t expected was to see someone new, opening the door in a robe.

Things had nearly ended very badly when the doorbell had rung. Magnus, not bothered about nakedness, had forgotten that he still hadn’t put anything on. He’d gone to walk to the door and Alec had literally needed to run out of the kitchen and tackle him before he could open the door.

The pizza guy’s eyes had widened. He knew Alec from when he was in school. He’d heard through the grapevine that Alec was better but Jace had been tweeting about boring relatives all day and Izzy had just about covered every social platform with selfies of her trying on her bridesmaid dress and having her nails done. Alec didn’t use social media but everyone had presumed he was well enough to go with them. The boy delivering had expected to open the door to someone house sitting or watering the plants or something, not to a guy their age in a hastily tied up dressing gown. “Uhh, your pizza is here.” Alec, also still in just a dressing gown, ran behind with his wallet, leaning over Magnus shoulder, and giving the guy the correct money, plus a nice tip. The boy passed Magnus the box and turned to walk away. Magnus went to shut the door and the guy turned back again. “Alec, I’m glad you’re doing better. Everyone in school has missed you.”

Alec thanked him and pleasantly nodded goodbye, before Magnus shut the door. Magnus carried the pizza box into the living room and Alec followed closely behind. “Who was that?”

Alec pulled the little table closer to the couch. “Not a clue. I used to keep to myself in school unless I saw Izzy or Jace around. I had a few friends but they all mysteriously faded away once I got sick.

Magnus nodded. He had lost touch with his old friends too. Cat and Ragnor and Raphael. It was so easy to lose connections when you were sick.

Magnus set the pizza box down and Alec opened the lid. He pulled the recliner legs up and they jumped down next to each other. Magnus had made the phone call for it while Alec used the bathroom and Alec curled up his face in mock horror as he saw what Magnus had chosen for his side of the pizza. “You are kidding me?”

Magnus picked up a slice and laughed as he blew on the cheese to cool it. “What?”

Alec shook his head. “Nothing.” Magnus ate his first bite and sat back against the couch. Alec spoke under his breath but loud enough for Magnus to hear it. “I can’t believe I’m in love with a guy who likes pineapple on pizza.”

Magnus choked on the pizza that was in his mouth. “What?”

“Pineapple shouldn’t go on pizza!”

“Screw the pineapple! You just said you were in love with me!”

Alec creased his eyebrows and picked up a slice of his own side. “I thought that was kind of a given?”

Magnus blushed and set his pizza down so he could hide his face. “Yeah, but you’ve never said it like that before. Come here.” Alec inched forward with the pizza in his hand. Magnus leaned forward and pulled Alec’s chin towards him with his finger. Magnus pecked him on the lips and let him go, picking up his own pizza again. “I’m in love with you too. Even if I have to look past the fact that you’ve got no taste in pizza toppings.”

Alec looked down as Magnus ate another piece of his pepperoni. “Back off! If my choices are so bad, then why are you eating mine?!” He laughed as he spoke. “Get back to your own side!”

Magnus reached over and ate another piece. “I just wanted a try. I don’t want it all.” Alec nodded, moving on to grab his next slice. He laughed and nearly spat out the last of the pizza in his mouth as Magnus spoke. “I’ve had enough sausage this weekend anyway.”

Alec cracked up with laughter. “Oh you are so disgusting!”

Magnus leaned forward and laughed into his lap with his legs crossed. “Oh this is so much fun! I never want to go home!”

Alec caught sight of the edge of Magnus’ eyes. How they turned down as it hit them both that they didn’t want to be separated after this.

Alec set his pizza down and moved closer to Magnus, putting his arm over his shoulder and smushing their cheeks together. “Oooh, I love you! Please don’t be sad. We’ve still got plenty of time.”

Magnus nodded and set his own pizza slice down. He dusted off his hands and rubbed his nose against Alec’s, hugging him close and shutting his eyes. “I love you, too. Did you maybe want to watch a movie? Or we could just talk?”

Alec kissed the side of Magnus’ head. “Talking is good.”

Magnus absentmindedly ran his fingers over Alec’s chest. “I have to say, Alexander. You’re doing pretty great for your first relationship. If that’s okay for me to say.”

Alec linked his fingers with Magnus’, over his chest. “You’re just so easy to love.”

“You mean that?”

Magnus sat up and pouted with his hand against Alec’s face. Alec put his hand over the top and closed his eyes. “I wouldn’t say if I didn’t mean it. How you didn’t get snaffled up before I came along, I’ll never know.”

Magnus sat back. “Would it be weird if I told you about my ex?”

“Not at all. You say what you think.”

Magnus sat up and played with the ring on his thumb. He looked nervous so Alec held out his hand, just to hold gently, and Magnus wrapped his fingers around it. “I used to have a girlfriend named Camille. Before I got diagnosed. Brain tumours, as well as chemo, can mess with your head, ironically. I made a mistake, or maybe looking back it wasn’t a mistake. I told her about my brain tumour and if I survived it, I didn’t know how I was going to react to things. I knew it was a hard ask but I needed her to stick by me. I needed her to stick with me until everything was okay again. To hold me, if I lashed out, instead of running away. To sit with me on the bad days when I felt sick, and talk to me and distract me while I was having chemo.”

Alec spoke quietly, barely a whisper in the otherwise silent room. He brushed a tear from Magnus’ cheek. “What happened?”

Magnus licked his lips and swallowed before he spoke and met Alec’s eyes. “I wasn’t even that bad yet, Alexander. I was about to go into surgery to see if they could get some of it out. I rang her, trying to get her to come in and see me before because I- I was frightened about what would happen and I felt so sick. To put it bluntly, I didn’t want to live any longer. I just wanted someone to hold my hand and tell me that I was going to be okay.” He sighed. “It’s just- It’s like what I said about friends-”

“She didn’t come to see you-”

Magnus shook his head and his mouth screwed up in anger as he spoke.. “I was about to go down for surgery and she got her friend to text me. She said that it was too much for her to handle and she wasn’t visiting me anymore. She wanted to break up. I was the one with a fucking brain tumour. I was the one facing surgery. I was facing months of chemo and what turned out to be a year of radiotherapy and she couldn’t handle it.”

Alec slowly brought Magnus’ hand to his mouth and kissed it gently, wrapping their hands together. “Magnus, I am so sorry. You deserve so much better than her.”

Magnus shook his head, wiping his eyes. He stood up and Alec pouted his bottom lip in concern. “It doesn’t matter, Alexander. I’m better off now. I have you and I have my health. That’s all I need.”

Alec moved to the edge of the couch, flipping the lid over the pizza box. “Are you sure that you’re okay?”

Magnus walked back over and leaned down in front of Alec. He put one hand on Alec’s face and kissed him softly. “I’m okay. I’ve brought something to show you. Wait here a second.”

Alec sat back on the couch and listened as Magnus’ bag moved against the table behind him. “Okay, Magnus, I’m really tired. I’m not sure I can go again but if you really want-”

Magnus walked back around the couch and tilted his head. He had what looked like a note in his hand. He couldn’t help laughing. “Can you stop thinking about what’s in your pants for two seconds!” 

Alec laughed as Magnus purposefully tied his robe tighter and sat down next to him. He passed the note to Alec and he saw that it wasn’t in fact a note. It was an envelope. “What is it?”

Magnus put his arm over Alec’s shoulder and kissed the side of his head. “Turn it around.”

Alec turned the envelope and ran his thumb over what was written.

[](https://postimages.org/) 

Alec turned his head to look at Magnus. “What is it?”

Magnus kissed him softly and rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. “Remember when we went out to dinner and I told you that my mama left me some letters? Each one has something written on the front, but this and the one for my 18th are the only ones that I’ve looked at yet.”

Alec looked at the envelope. “You read it?”

Magnus chuckled. “I might be a bit vain sometimes but opening it with someone I love probably doesn’t imply myself. I’ve looked at the front but I haven’t opened it yet. I was waiting to open it with you.”

Alec pouted. “Magnuuusss!”

 “Open it!”

“Are you not frightened? This is probably actual words from your mother, Magnus.”

Magnus shook his head. “I want to get to know her. Go on. It’s okay.”

Alec carefully ran his thumb under the lip. The envelope was old. He didn’t want to mess up something so important to Magnus. He finished opening the top and pulled out two pieces of paper. He cleared his throat before hesitating.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

"-Magnus. This is yours to read. Take it."

Magnus hands shook as Alec carefully handed the papers to him. The handwriting was uncannily like his own. Magnus cleared his throat before speaking quietly.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Magnus put his hand over his mouth as he grinned. “Ohmygod- this- this is her- I can tell.”

Alec gently pulled Magnus against him. “She called you 'Emas'. That’s beautiful. I wonder if it means something?”

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

He rubbed his eyes and put his hand over his mouth. “Ohmygod, Alexander.”

  
Magnus took a deep breath and Alec put his hand on Magnus’ arm to steady him.

  
Magnus sniffled and Alec reached over and grabbed him a tissue.

Both Alec and Magnus chuckled. He was just like him.

  
Magnus pouted at Alec and Alec wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in Magnus’ chest.

"That’s what my father said to me."

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Magnus looked up and nodded silently.

Magnus was trying to wipe his eyes. Tears were rolling down his face and he was struggling to get his words out. Alec looked at him, waiting for Magnus to nod before he took the note from him. Magnus settled in next to him, wrapping his legs around Alec’s, on the recliner, and listened as Alec read.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Alec gasped softly. “Magnus, she was-is such a beautiful person. She’s so like you.”

"That’s so beautiful. It’s like she knew how special you were already.” Alec gently set the paper down and picked up the other. He sat back and kissed Magnus' forehead before he spoke.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Alec put his hand over his mouth and paused for a second. Magnus wiped Alec’s cheek with his thumb before kissing him softly and taking Alec’s free hand, lacing their fingers together.

 Magnus smiled once again. “Maybe we could have all that one day.”

Alec smiled back, pulling him closer. “I’d like that.”

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Alec shook his head and Magnus blushed. “Aww, little baby Magnus! You are like her though! You are literally her!”

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Alec paused, taking a breath. Magnus gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and he carried on.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Alec let out a shaky breath. “I get it. That’s what love is. She just wants him to be happy.”

[ ](https://postimg.cc/KRdtPbhw)

Alec put his hands over his face. “That’s beautiful. Magnus, she loves you so much. You and your father.” Alec looked over the paper tenderly and passed it to Magnus. Magnus ran his hand over it and gently set it down with the other on the table.

Alec let out a breath that he hadn't realised he had been holding. He’d really dreaded that Magnus would be upset but he was smiling. It was like he’d been given a little piece of her that he had always wanted. “Are you okay?” Alec looked around the room. It had gotten dark and he got up to pull the curtains closed. Magnus nodded and Alec gestured him over. “Come here.” Magnus smiled as Alec held out his hand. Magnus walked over to Alec and linked his hands, his arms over Alec’s shoulders. Alec placed his hands on Magnus’ waist and rocked back and forth slightly as Magnus rubbed their noses together.

“Alexander, thank you. For everything. I'm glad I got to open it with you.”

Alec smiled and yawned to the side, making Magnus grin at how he crinkled his nose. “It’s what you do for someone you love. Your Mom sounds like a great lady, I wish I could have met her. I promise I’ll do her well and look after you... I love you so much. Thank you for sharing it with me”

Magnus buried his face in the side of Alec’s neck. “She would have loved you, Alexander. I love you, too. More than words.”

They both sighed and stood in silence for a moment. Both tired after their long day but sleeping meant that they would have less time to spend together.

Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead multiple times,with his eyes closed, before speaking quietly. “There’s some little candles under the sink. There’s strawberries in the fridge and if I go melt some chocolate in a bowl, we could have them in that bath we were talking about. How do you think that sounds?”

Magnus went up on his tiptoes and brushed his lips against Alec’s. “I’d say that sounds pretty good.”

***

"Jace, Jace, Jace, Jace!!"

Jace was crashed out on the bed in his room. His phone was in his hand and he chuckled as he texted. He had several lipstick stains on his face and Izzy hoped for her own sanity that they were from her older family members and not bridesmaids. Jace circled his face with his finger, putting her at ease. "Leave me alone, Iz. As you can see, I've had enough of relatives for one day."

"Jace, you have to see this!!"

Jace rolled onto his back. "Ugh, what is it? I'm busy."

Jace giggled at his phone, pressing the heart emoji and trying to send more than Clary. Izzy held up her phone between Jace's face and his own. He rolled onto his stomach and ignored her.

"Jace! Listen to me! Alec is with Magnus!"

Jace rolled his eyes and pressed send. "That's what I thought but Mom said-"

Izzy jumped up and down and shoved the phone in his face. "Look!! Look!!"

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Jace laughed and tapped at his phone screen, finding Alec's contact. Max was always snooping so he'd deleted the messages from earlier.

Izzy shook her head and showed Jace her outgoing calls. "I've rung him three times. His phone is off."

Jace snorted.

"Yeah, I bet it is. Alec, Alec, Alec."

[ ](https://postimg.cc/rK8w7YCs)

Izzy sat down on the single bed next to Jace's. "Are we gonna go tell Mom?"

Jace chuckled as he switched back to texting Clary. "Absolutely not. We're going to have some fun first."

***

“Pass the bowl to me and I’ll carry it.” Alec carefully handed over the chocolate bowl. It was too hot to handle so as they stood in the hallway, he helped Magnus to grab the tea towel that he had around it. They had both just taken the medication that they needed for the night and were ready to go upstairs. “Watch yourself, baby.”

Magnus took the bowl with one hand and held out his other to Alec. Alec had the container of strawberries in one hand but linked his free hand with Magnus’. They grinned at each other as they went up the stairs, Magnus in front. Both exhausted and yet still wide awake. They stopped halfway up and the banister dug into Alec’s back as they stood and kissed, just because they wanted to. Alec screeched and laughed as Magnus’ lips parted and he got carried away, nearly spilled the hot chocolate over them both.

Magnus pushed open Alec’s door and they walked in. He set the strawberries down next to the candles he had brought up earlier. Because of Alec’s deep seated need for peace from his siblings, he had convinced his parents a few years ago to let him get a lock for the bathroom adjoining his room. He had been getting fed up of Izzy’s makeup in the sink and Jace always blindly walking in to pee while he was in the bath and asking him what he’d had for lunch.

Alec ran his hand along the top of the bathroom door, grabbing the key. His parents knew where it was in case of an emergency, but anyone else in the house would need to know where it was, pull something over and stand on it to be able to reach the key on the ledge.

Alec slid the key in the lock, still holding onto Magnus’ hand with the other. Magnus hadn’t been in the bathroom upstairs yet.

“Here you go. My little piece of quiet. Mi casa es tu casa.” Magnus looked around the room. Alec had to let go of his hand, in order to go and get the other things. Alec put one hand on his face. “I forgot the lighter downstairs for the candles. Why don’t you start running the water? The bubble bath is in the cabinet above the sink.” Magnus nodded and Alec kissed his cheek before he left the room. Magnus set the bowl of chocolate down on the edge of the bath. His fingers were starting to go numb from holding it. He shook his hand as he walked over to the cabinet.

Apparently, Alec’s key location wasn’t a total secret. As Magnus opened the cabinet, he stifled a laugh and blushed as several packets rained down on him. “Thanks for that, Jace.” He put them back in neatly and pulled out the bottle of bubble bath, unscrewing the cap and taking a sniff. Despite their food differences, at least they both liked lavender bubble bath. Magnus always bought the same one.

He walked over to the bath and put the plug in. He didn’t know how Alec liked it so he set it reasonably hot. They could always add more cold later. He tipped some of the bubble bath in and the room began to fill with steam and the smell of flowers.

When the bath was half done, Alec returned. “Sorry that took so long. My Mom just called and wouldn’t let me go.”

Magnus nodded. “That’s fine. Check the water and see if it’s okay for you.”

Alec swished his hand around and dried it on one of the towels on the rack. “That’s perfect for me. I can’t imagine it’ll need much more with both of us in there. Do you want the tap end or the other?”

Magnus went on his tiptoes with his hands behind his back. “Either’s fine.”

Alec laughed. “Make a choice. I don’t want to choose.”

“I don’t want to choose!” They grinned at each other. Alec had his arms crossed and Magnus had his hands on his face. Magnus threw his hands up. “Fine. I’ll take the tap end then.”

Alec looked at him and back to the bath. “Won’t that be more uncomfortable for you? I’ll take the tap end.”

Magnus laughed. “Have you seen how long your legs are? It’s a big bath but if you need to put your legs up outside it, it’ll have to be from the side without the taps. I promise you, I’ll be fine. The taps are too far back to be a problem anyway.” Magnus winked, making Alec blush. “That’s probably not going to be my first thought anyway.”

Alec nodded. “Okay, well I need a pee first so why don’t you go get the other stuff and you can come back in a second?”

Magnus turned to shut the taps off. The water was high enough. “Alexander Lightwood. Are you self conscious about peeing in front of me?!”

“You wouldn’t pee in front of me! It’s hardly going to set the mood.”

Magnus laughed with a hand on his hip and pointed to his mouth. “Alexander, you do actually realise where your dick has been today, right?”

Alec pushed him, turning bright red. “Yes, yes, you did a very nice job but I’d like to keep a little mystery between us. I’ll only be a second.”

Magnus held up his hands and walked out the door.

By the time Magnus had gathered everything into his arms and hands, the toilet flushed and Alec opened the door again. “There how long did- let me take some of that.” Alec took the container of strawberries and half the candles. He put the strawberries on one end and dotted the candles around. Magnus put his candles around the inside corner and moved the bowl of chocolate to his end. Alec lit each of the candles in turn and walked over to switch the light off. He stood next to Magnus and wrapped his arms around his waist. “You ready to get in?”

Magnus bumped their heads together before nodding.

Alec turned to Magnus and put his arms around his neck as Magnus slowly untied the robe from around his waist. Magnus’ fingers trailed over Alec’s stomach as his eyes drifted down casually. Alec tilted Magnus’ head up and slid his arms out of his sleeves, chucking his robe over the hook on the door. Magnus sat down on the stool in the corner and Alec followed. He sat down in Magnus’ lap, wrapping his legs around Magnus’ waist and forgetting for a second about the bath. One arm was over Magnus’ shoulder and the other was flat over his chest. Magnus moaned softly as they kissed slowly, Alec’s tongue parting Magnus’ lips. Alec broke away for a second and stood up, holding out his hand for Magnus to stand. He untied Magnus robe and ran his arms under it and over Magnus back, as they continued to kiss gently. Magnus pulled his arms out of his sleeves and dropped the robe to the floor. Alec took his hand, helping him to get in the water.

Magnus sunk down to his chin, letting the hot water and sweet smells wash over him. He lifted his hand out for a second, taking Alec’s as he climbed in and lay down facing him. They remained in silence for several moments, happy to just be in silence and enjoy the heat with their heads back. Alec opened his eyes and reached for the container on the side, offering a strawberry to Magnus. Magnus held out the bowl of chocolate to him and they both laughed as they realised the problem with having each of them at both ends.

“Here.” Alec picked up one of the smaller strawberries and set the container down on the side. Magnus held the bowl to him so he could get some chocolate for himself. Alec dipped it in for a second and laughed as Magnus set it down.. “No, here.”

Magnus inched forward. “Oh! Okay!” Alec rubbed their noses together, a tangle of legs in the water. There was something so domestic in the way Magnus looked. For as long as he’d known him, Alec had never seen him go out without his hair styled. Alec didn’t know if it was because they hadn’t left the house much or for another reason entirely but Magnus had no products in his hair today. Alec used the strawberry to trace some chocolate over Magnus’ mouth before parting his lips with his tongue. Alec sighed into the kiss as Magnus’ tongue found his own. Before things got too heated, Alec laughed and made what sounded like a growling sound, trying the stuff the strawberry into Magnus’ mouth.

Magnus laughed as it was shoved in his mouth and he chucked a load of bubbles on top of Alec’s head. “Oh, that’s it!”

Alec turned and moved his legs behind him so that he was stomach down, his legs couldn’t fully extend because of the length of the bath and his position. He moved through the water and placed his hands on Magnus’ hips. Magnus chuckled as Alec grabbed his own load of bubbles and put them on Magnus’ head. He dotted a tiny bit onto Magnus’ nose and rubbed them together before touching their foreheads. He whispered quietly and his eyes went teary as they met Magnus’. “I love you so much, Magnus.”

Magnus sighed, running this hands smoothly down Alec’s side and cupping his bottom. “I love you too.”

Their lips locked together as their jaws moved in unison. Magnus’ hands squeezed slightly but it was difficult to get purchase and keep his head up without his hands free, with Alec on top of him, burning close and driving him crazy with the friction between them in the water.

Alec bit his lip and whispered softly. “I want more."

Magnus’ eyes widened. "Are you saying…?"

Alec kissed him softly and nodded. "If you do then yes, I want more. Make love to me, Magnus."

“Sure I do. Are you sure?”

Alec nodded, standing up and holding his hand out. Magnus could see from Alec’s bubble covered body that he didn’t need an answer. “Yeah. Come on.”

Alec climbed out of the bath and offered his hand for Magnus to take. Magnus stood up and Alec’s cheekbones went red as his eyes drifted down. They stood opposite each other and as their bodies pressed together, it was as if there was actual electricity between them. Magnus shivered slightly, not knowing if it was anticipation or the fact that he had just gotten out of the bath. 

Alec reached over and grabbed a towel from the rail. He put one over his own shoulders and did the same to Magnus’, brushing up his nose with his own. Alec had a line of bubbles on his neck and Magnus wiped them with the corner of his towel before kissing Alec's neck softly. “You’re so beautiful.”

Magnus tilted his head back as Alec kissed the base of his throat, taking in the sensations as they dried each other. Magnus running the towel down Alec’s arms. Alec running the corner of his over Magnus’ collar bone before kissing it gently. Magnus leaning forward and running his hands flat on Alec’s chest and over his shoulders and back. Alec laughing as he pulled up Magnus’ towel to rest it on his head, drying his hair gently.

When they were both dry, they found that they were burning hot instead of cold. Alec slid his hands over Magnus’ waist. His skin warm and smooth under Alec’s touch. Alec spoke shyly, his eyes fever bright. “Do you wanna go to the bedroom?”

Magnus nodded and took Alec’s hand.

***

Maryse yawned as she settled into bed next to Robert. "Me and Izzy are going to get up early tomorrow for a final check on our dresses. I don't know if you want to do something with the boys but I doubt you'll want to come with us."

Robert put his arm around Maryse's shoulder and kissed the top of her head, setting down his book. "We need to go tie shopping for Jace anyway. I don't get how he managed to get his tie stuck in a lift."

Maryse chuckled and her phone buzzed. It was a goodnight text from Alec with three 'X's' on the end. He must have been in a good mood. He never usually added any unless him and Jace, or Max and Jace, or Izzy and Jace, had broken something and they were trying to cover it up.

"He was texting Clary. It seems he's getting quite attached to her."

Robert nodded. "He is. I hope it works out. I know he's only young but it would be nice to see him settle down a bit. He might not play up his teachers so much then. That reminds me that we'll have to speak with his English teacher when we get back."

Maryse sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Maybe English just isn't for him. He's happy with his music and his sport. We all shine in different areas. Thinking about that, did you see my second cousin going on and on? It was kind of difficult to listen about her 'perfect' daughter when Jace and Max were flicking peas at each other across the table."

"Our children are perfect the way they are-"

There was a crash from across the hall.

Jace burst through the door. He was in long red plaid pyjama bottoms and a white T-shirt. He did a lap of the room, his arms full of packets of some kind. Max ran behind him in a circle, doing exactly the same as they whooped and cheered and ran out again.

"Were those from-"

Robert rubbed his eyes. "From the mini fridge next door? Yep."

***

Alec threw his phone down on the bed and chuckled as he backed into the room. Magnus’ hands were on either side of his face and Alec was grinning as his hands squeezed Magnus’ butt, pulling him closer. Alec stepped back towards the bed and pulled Magnus down on top of him. Their mouths clashed together in a heated frenzy and Magnus tried to speak in between kisses. “Do you- want top or bottom?”

Alec’s eyes widened slightly, suddenly nervous that this was becoming very real. “Can you top this time? Is that okay?”

Magnus nodded and rolled them over for just a second. Alec’s heart jumped a few beats when he jumped up and rushed into the bathroom. Did he not want to do this? Alec calmed down as Magnus came back in with a towel flat in his hands. He had the hot, extinguished candles and the lighter on it. Alec relaxed and sat back. As much as he could relax considering how hard he was.

Magnus chuckled as he set half the candles down on the bedside table. He walked around the bed and did the same on the table that side. Alec rolled over and trailed his fingers down Magnus’ side as he lit the remaining candles. “It would be a pain to have to stop if the house started burning down. We’ve already nearly started one fire today.”

Alec grinned as he moved over and Magnus leaned over him, kissing him more gently at first before things heated up again. Alec groaned as Magnus ran his tongue in short strokes over Alec’s Adam's apple. His hands were in Magnus’ hair and he moaned softly at how good it felt to have Magnus’ naked body brushing against his own.

Alec bit his lip as their bodies slid over one another. “Magnus- I’m not going to last much longer if we don’t get a move on.”

Magnus nodded, lifting his head back. “Not trying to ruin the flow but it’s important to me that you enjoy yourself. Is there anything in particular that you want?”

Alec rolled his head back and shook it, biting his bottom lip. “It's important for you too, but by all means, take the lead.”

Magnus walked over to Alec’s draw, picking up the normal lubricant and one of the condoms out of the box. He walked back over and leaned while standing up to kiss Alec softly. “Can you get on your hands and knees for me?” Alec’s hands were shaking and Magnus held them for a second, calming him down. “Hey. It’s all at your own pace, okay? Tell me at any time and we’ll stop right away.”

Alec nodded and got onto his knees. He watched as Magnus pulled open the lid on the lubricant, taking in the sight of Magnus and how he looked like he probably wanted this as much as Alec did. Alec cleared his throat, feeling slightly shy and over exposed.

Magnus chuckled, putting his arm over Alec’s shoulder and kissing his head.

“I need to prepare you first. Are you ready?” Alec nodded as Magnus lightly ran his hand over his back and went behind him. “Okay, you’ve got total control, okay? You’re okay.” Alec nodded and let out a breath as he heard the lubricant bottle click shut. A second later, he felt Magnus hands on his bottom and instinctively moved his knees apart slightly. He gasped as he felt Magnus brush his butt cheeks apart. “Just try to relax, okay? You’re safe with me and it’ll make things easier for both of us.”

Alec’s eyes widened as he felt Magnus’ fingers trace over his hole. With each gentle stroke, Magnus looked over to him and Alec urged him to carry on.

After a minute or so, as Alec relaxed, Magnus slipped his index finger inside him. Alec groaned with his face against the pillow. If this felt so good, he couldn’t imagine everything that would follow. Alec sighed, finally relaxing. Magnus spoke gentle words of encouragement and a little while later, he slipped his second finger in. “That’s it. You’re doing great. It feels good, doesn’t it?”

Alec nodded and another short while later, Magnus slipped a third finger in. Alec’s eyes went back in his head slightly and he spoke as he sighed. “Oh-ohmygod. It's-this is amazing.” Magnus chuckled, running his free hand over the curve of Alec’s back, sweeping his other set of  fingers inside Alec, earning him another deep throated groan. Alec picked his head up. “Uggh- don’t- don’t stop. It-it feels so good.”

Magnus pulled his fingers out and Alec heard a crinkle behind him. “It’s about to get better. You ready for some fun?”

Alec nodded desperately and gasped. “Magnus- I think I’m close already.”

Alec moved his knees, planting them wider as he looked down. He felt Magnus hands on his sides and arched his hips backwards as Magnus finally slipped inside him. Magnus bit his lip and tilted his head back. Alec was still a little tight but not as much as he would have expected. He felt amazing.

“Then come. It’s fine, baby.” As he felt Magnus begin to slide inside him, Alec lost his resolve. He took himself in his fist and pumped his hand quickly, groaning as he came over the sheets. “That’s it baby. Just let it happen.”

An incoherent moan rippled through Alec as he arched his hips back, calling out Magnus’ name. Whispered moans escaped Alec’s throat until he turned to begging. “More, Magnus! More! Urggh!” Magnus pushed further, until he was halfway in. He looked to Alec who was nodding desperately. He pulled out and slid back in again, each time going a little further until the whole of his length was inside Alec. Their skin made sounds as it hit together, Magnus increasing in speed. “Please-please don’t stop baby-urgggh-keep going!- keep going!!” It wasn’t long until they were ramming together at full capacity, moans escaping both of their throats. Alec gasped between spoken words.“I’m-close-again. How?”

Magnus thrusted his hips forward again with a groan and Alec bit his lip. Magnus could feel Alec tightening around him and knew that Alec climaxing again would push himself over the edge. “You’re enjoying yourself, that’s why! Come, baby. I’m close too.”

Alec threw his hips back and shouted Magnus’ name as he came again on the sheets. “Urggghh- Magnus, I love you!”

Alec tightened and Magnus threw his head back. Alec’s knuckles were white as he gripped the bed and pushed back against Magnus.

Magnus bit his lip as he thusted his hips forward over and over again. “I love you too!” Magnus gasped as he finally came, Alec groaning with each pump as Magnus’ orgasm ripped through him. Magnus silently thanked every cell in Alec’s body for getting better and allowing for this to be possible between them. Magnus groaned, holding firmly on Alec’s waist. He gave a final rub along the walls of Alec’s inside and pulled out.

Alec laughed as he collapsed onto his front. His shaking arms and legs no longer able to support him. Magnus crawled over and after Alec rolled over, he collapsed weightlessly with his arm over Alec’s chest. His head hurt but he didn’t care. It was like the earth had been born and renewed again.

Magnus chuckled as he panted, trying to catch his breath back. “Was-was that okay for you?”

Alec laughed as Magnus’ head moved up and down with his ragged breathing. “Yeah- I’m -I'm glad my first time was with you.”

Magnus wiped his head with the back of his hand. “Don’t forget, that was my first time too.”

Alec’s eyes widened. He’d forgotten about that. He licked his lips and shook his head as he continued to pant. “You wouldn’t think it. God- that was amazing!”

Magnus grinned and buried his head in Alec’s chest. He sat up for a second and then got up. He pulled his condom off and walked into the bathroom. He came back a few seconds later with his robe tied around him. He chucked the condom into Alec’s bin and bunched the bag up in his hands. “I’m going out to the bin. Do you want anything?”

Alec put his hand on his stomach and laughed. “There’s jelly doughnuts in the bag on the kitchen counter.”

Magnus laughed, leaning over as he clutched his stomach. He wiped tears from his eyes. “God- I love you so much! I meant a water but if you want doughnuts, Alexander, then jelly doughnuts in bed it is.”

***

Asmodeus looked around his empty hotel room. He hated working away but hadn't had much say in the matter. He was considering either a change in departments or a whole new career change entirely but hadn't decided yet. Magnus would be going to university before long and he wanted him to be sorted before making any drastic life choices. Magnus had just texted to say that he was okay, had taken his medication and was grabbing a quick snack before turning in for the night.

Asmodeus flicked on the bedside light and brought up Lily's contact before setting it down again. She hadn't been feeling great this week so he'd wanted to check on her, but she was probably asleep by now if Magnus was and he didn't want to bother her.

He picked up his phone again and searched back through his files. He'd opened some new envelopes and found some polaroid photos of Magnus as a baby. He would never forget what she looked like for as long as he lived but it broke his heart that there hadn't been any with Aminah in them. Only a pair of hands or the back of the scarf she used to wrap around her head. He laughed at some of the photos. They must have been taken when Magnus was around five weeks because he had just started to become more alert and was grinning whenever he heard Aminah sing. She had a beautiful voice, high and sweet. She was bed-bound at that point but she still used to sing Indonesian lullabies to Magnus as he slept on her chest.

Asmodeus set the phone down once again and reached into the draw next to him. Magnus usually wore his mother's locket but he liked his father to hold onto it when he went away. 

Asmodeus unhooked the catch and looked at it fondly. They were so young then. So unaware of everything that would happen. He so wished Aminah could see Magnus now. She would be so proud of him. Asmodeus kissed the picture and hung it over his neck. He flicked off the light and turned over, looking at the otherwise empty bed.

***

Alec lay on his back like a starfish, as he heard Magnus coming back up the stairs. He’d left the door open and grinned as Magnus came back in with a plate in his hand and two bottles of water. One in his free hand and one under his left arm. Alec reached out his hands in a grabbing motion and Magnus held the plate out while he laughed, fully expecting Alec’s excitement to be about the two jam doughnuts he was carrying. He walked closer and Alec sat up, taking Magnus’ face in his hands. Alec squished his cheeks and pecked him on the lips. The grabbing motion had been for him. “I missed you.”

Magnus sat down and laughed, putting one arm around Alec from the right. Alec lifted his left arm up and linked their fingers together. Alec had pushed the covers down so they now lay on the bed with their legs entwined, the sheets just over their feet.

They each took one of the doughnuts off the plate and tapped them together. Alec went to take a bite and Magnus made a sound. “Uh, huh.”

“What?!”

Magnus wrapped his right arm around Alec’s, taking a bite out of the doughnut Alec was holding and screwing up his face.. Sugar coated their fingers as they laughed, bumping their heads together as Alec bit into the one that Magnus was holding. 

They passed their respective doughnuts to each other and Magnus grinned. “I think this is may be the best idea you’ve ever had.”

Alec grinned and jumped up and down excitedly. “Are you kidding me?! Sex and doughnuts?! This is the best idea ANYONE has ever had!

Magnus spoke with his mouth full, looking at the doughnut in his hand.

“Between the strawberry lubricant, the strawberries in the bath and now jelly doughnuts, I can’t help but think you must have a thing for strawberries.”

Alec grinned as he took another bite. “I definitely won’t be able to eat anything strawberry around my family ever again. I wouldn’t say I had a thing for them though. Maybe a thing for you-”

Magnus grinned. Alec often said these poetic things without realising. He shouted as Alec stuck his tongue out. He was a quick eater and had just finished his. “Don’t lick your lips!”

Alec nodded as Magnus leaned over him. He held the remains of his doughnut over the edge of the bed. “When we were little, me and my-” Alec creased up in laughter as Magnus fell over him and stuck his tongue out like a child, shaking his head with his tongue out and lapping at Alec’s lips as he screeched and laughed. “Okay, they didn’t do that!”

After they’d both finished eating and more than a little mouth and finger licking, Alec and Magnus were both yawning with their eyes drooping. Magnus was flat on his back and closed his eyes while Alec ran his fingers through his hair. “You look so beautiful without makeup and stuff in your hair. I mean you do with it but- It makes me feel like we’re just at home together.”

Magnus slid his hand around the back of Alec’s neck. “It’s just something I’ve always had. My way of expressing myself. I get what you mean though. It’s more comforting to let you see me as I am.”

Alec kissed him softly. “I don’t know why you think you need it. You’re beautiful the way you are.” Magnus wrapped their hands around each other's and kissed Alec's gently. Alec grumbled softly and tilted his head to look up. "Magnus?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for today. For showing me your letter. It was really important to you and I'm go grateful I got to share it with you."

Magnus pulled him closer. "I wouldn't have wanted to open it with anyone else. It was nice to learn new things about her. I never knew about the nickname she had for me. I think Father locked some parts of her away. Shielded himself."

Alec nodded. "Are you going to ask your Dad to call you 'Emas'? It's such a beautiful thing. Like the way you call me 'Alexander.'"

Magnus thought for a second. "I'd like to. I mean it's part of me. I'm not sure yet though if it would upset him."

Alec rolled onto his front and put a hand against Magnus' face. "Maybe I could call you that sometimes. Only if you wanted though-"

"Of course, I'd love that-" He kissed Alec softly. "-but we should try and get some sleep now."

Alec nodded and rolled onto his back. “Don’t think I have any other motives here because I am absolutely exhausted but would you mind sleeping without your robe on? I want to be as close to you as I can.”

Magnus nodded and stood up for a second. He untied his robe and chucked it to the chair across the room. His few other sexual experiences since coming out of hospital had been hasty and in the dark. He’d never imagined he’d feel so comfortable with his clothes off in front of anyone. Magnus slid in next to Alec and they wrapped their bodies together. Arms, chests and legs together.

As they slept that night, exhausted from their long day, they were no longer the two broken boys who had met in that hospital foyer so long ago. As they slept peacefully for the first night in a long time, they weren’t two young, broken boys but two strong men who had defied so many odds to be together.

Stories often have heroic tales of heartbreak, sacrifice and glory, but beautiful stories can be found in the ordinary too. In the middle of chaos and suffering, this is sometimes where we find out who we are and the true value of what's important to us.

Alec and Magnus were two broken boys who had gone into a battle alone and come out of it stronger, braver and better. No longer alone because they had found something in the midst of their battle; an undying love and someone worth fighting for. A tiny spark had lit during their dark journey and built to a wall of flame, bright enough to burn up the entire night sky. A force to be reckoned with, Alec and Magnus had gone into a battle alone and had come out together, as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ❤️ ❤️
> 
> Just adding a special thank you to @Kennedy15769680 for blessing me with her handwriting for Aminah's letter. She did me a great favour despite us being in different countries and I love her for it <3


	23. House Husbands: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recently discharged from hospital, Alec is planning to spend a quiet weekend alone. It's only when the phone rings that plans are changed and he has an unexpected visitor.
> 
> "Together is my favourite place to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just leaving a reminder that any medical information given in this fic should not be taken literally. While I have researched extensively, this is a work of fiction and I am not yet qualified to give medical advice.
> 
> Song for chapter 23:[ "I Like You So Much You'll Know It."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Otet0o-twsg&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=25&t=0s)

 

Magnus smiled as the early morning light peered across the room. It cast rays as it peeked through the curtains, calling out that the day would be warm and hopeful, full of bright light and endless opportunities. Magnus had somehow managed to end up on his stomach, at the bottom of the bed. He pushed back the blanket from his head and peered around the room, still not quite believing that people like him got to have things like this. To wake up in the bed of someone he loved, still aching from last night’s activity at one, two, four and five AM, when one of their insatiable appetites had awoken the other with a grin. He smiled to himself, feeling perfectly contented to either just stay there or journey the world with the man he loved. Either would be fine as long as he had Alec by his side.

He stood up and stretched his back, pushing the blanket away. Alec was curled up on his side and smiling happily. He hadn’t looked that relaxed in a long time. Magnus pattered across the room and pulled the covers to get under them, sliding in to Alec’s side. Alec smiled and instantly nestled into Magnus’, putting his arm over Magnus’ chest and wrapping their legs together as he licked his lips. Magnus put his free arm over Alec’s waist, running his hand in smooth motions across his lower back. “Good morning.”

Magnus smiled and kissed Alec’s head, brushing his hair back that had grown just about long enough that he could catch it in his fingers. “Good morning. You sleep well?”

Alec nodded against Magnus’ chest as he spoke. “I know we had plans today but I don’t ever want to get up. I’m going to stop time right now and stay like this forever.”

Magnus chuckled, cuddling Alec close as he closed his eyes, the lull of sleep and the warmth of Alec’s smooth form, against his own, pulling him back under. He licked his lips. “Hmm. And how are you gonna do that?”

Alec grinned. “I’ll think of something. I’m stubborn. I’ll do it”

Magnus smiled. “I believe you could. I’m happy with that. I was thinking, it’s funny after all we’ve been through, all the pain and treatment we’ve had, just how wonderful the body can be. Emotions, feelings, sensations...” Alec lifted his chin up and looked into Magnus’ eyes. “Alexander? Everything okay?”

Alec nodded and put his hand on Magnus’ face, his fingers tracing feather light trails. “Yeah. I just love waking up with you. God, I love you so much. You know that? My heart feels so full.”

Magnus nodded. “I feel the same way. I don’t want to be apart from you now. I want us to live together.”

Alec pouted as he spoke sleepily. “Maybe we won’t be able to now... but in the future we can. It’s obvious my whole family must know by now that you’re here so I’m thinking of just- not even asking- just saying that we’re going to stay over each other’s houses some nights. Would that be okay? I wanna wake up with you and have breakfast with you each day. Being apart now seems unbearable. What do you say? I know we go to different schools but we can work something out. It’ll only be until uni and we’re practically together all day anyway.” 

Magnus grinned, putting his arms around Alec’s neck as he hugged him. “I’d love that. Say, do you think your mom would let honey sleep upstairs with us when we sleep here? I mean she’s probably going to be at yours in the day because my father works and your mom works from home.”

Alec grinned. “Probably not, but have we ever listened to anything we’ve been told?”

Magnus laughed. “Probably not, considering I’m actually in your bed right now-” Alec tilted his head. “Okay- definitely not.”

Alec grinned and climbed over Magnus to lie on his chest, brushing their lips together. Alec spoke in between kisses as Magnus tried not to laugh. “We could- sneak her up here- and snuggle- with her. We could- put her in your hoodie- and zip her up.”

Magnus laughed and flipped them over, so he was on top, running his hand over Alec’s leg as he wrapped them both around him. “What about when she’s big?”

Alec bit his lip and thought for a second. “Then we’ll get our own place.”

Magnus grinned and spoke sarcastically. “Wow- you’ve really thought about this!”

Alec laughed and nodded into Magnus’ shoulder as Magnus kissed him gently. “I have.”

Magnus closed his eyes as Alec ran his hands over his lower back. Alec flipped them over, relishing in both Magnus’ expression and the hopeful optimism that they could have all this someday and never have to worry about being apart again. They could just have a big, beautiful house and be together, nothing to ever pull them apart.

***

Max and Jace groaned as Izzy yanked back the curtains to their room. “Get up, butt heads! I wanna go swimming before it gets too crowded!”

Jace rolled onto his stomach, putting his head under his pillow. “Izzy it’s like... seven AM. It’s practically the middle of the night.”

Izzy tugged at Max’s blanket. He’d taken the pull out bed because he was the smallest and had also refused to share with either of his siblings.

Izzy walked across the room and glanced at the open mini fridge. “Jace! Have you been eating at night again?! You know it’s not good for you, right?”

Jace chucked his pillow onto the floor. He’d never get back to sleep once there was light in the room. “You’re supposed to eat at night, Iz! Why do you think there’s a light in the fridge!?”

Max sat up and rubbed his eyes, clutching his teddy in his hand. “Why are you up so early?”

“BECAUSE me and Mom are having a final check on our dresses and JACE still needs to find a tie because he nearly got pulled up an elevator by his.”

Jace rubbed his bruised neck. “Let’s not be dramatic.”

Max ran over to Izzy and hugged her waist. It was already worrying her how tall he was getting. She didn’t want to end up being the shortest which was also why she usually wore heels. “He’s not ever getting up, is he?”

Izzy shook her head. “Jace? What if I told you there’s an unlimited continental breakfast going on downstairs?”

Jace walked over the bed and jumped down, shoving his other pillow into Izzy’s chest as he left the room in his pyjamas. Max smiled up at Izzy. “Are you going to tell-”

“Nope.”

***

After spending half of the morning dozing, warm in each other’s arms, Alec and Magnus finally decided to get up.

Alec threw back the blanket and yawned as he went to peek out of the curtain. “Looks like today’s going to be nice. We said yesterday that we were going to go to the park so we could take some food or there’s a stand there where we can buy something?”

“That would be awesome. Do you mind if we drive round to mine first? I’ve got to feed Fish and there’s a few things I want to pick up.”

Alec nodded and stretched as he rubbed his eyes. “I’m all tuckered out from last night but do you want to take a shower together? We can get dressed then and I’ll make us something for breakfast.”

“Yes, I’m tired too. Sure we can. We’ve got to clean up the house after, remember? I think there’s still some pesto on the kitchen floor and the whole living room probably smells like pizza.”  Magnus groaned as he stood up. He laughed and tried not to show how much his hips were hurting from last night’s events. He walked over to his boyfriend and traced his fingers over the back of Alec’s neck. “Right, we better get going. Stuff to-”

Alec interrupted him by pressing their lips together softly. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“I have no idea.” Magnus held out his hand and Alec linked their fingers together. Magnus led Alec behind him. The other bathroom, with the shower, was just across the hall, but Alec was walking slowly and trying to kiss him every few steps. “Okay, Alexander, I may have planned something today and you might wanna hurry up?” Magnus nearly tripped. Alec had his arms around Magnus’ waist and his head was buried in his neck as he sighed.

Alec lifted his head up for a second. “And what’s that?”

Magnus grinned with his back to Alec, feeling slightly exposed to be just standing there naked in the hallway. “What if I told you that I’ve pulled some strings and because I work there, I’ve arranged for us to take honey for her lunchtime walk?”

Magnus turned around and saw as Alec put his hands over his mouth. “You did not…”

Magnus grinned and nodded. “I did. But just for lunch and then we have to take her ba-” Alec ran at Magnus and threw him over his shoulder. Magnus screamed as Alec ran with him to the bathroom. “Alexander! Put me down!

“Okay, I’ll put you down! You need a work out! Too many strawberry doughnuts!”

Magnus chuckled as Alec set him down on the tiles. “Is that how you want to play? Huh? Workout? Well I have a few ideas.”

Alec purred. “I’m listening”

Magnus pushed Alec and his back hit the bathroom wall. Within a second, they were kissing like their lives depended on it. Gentle yet demanding, beckoning each other forward, their souls calling out and proclaiming that there would never be anyone else for each other. They fit perfectly together, moving as one being.

Magnus pulled Alec’s hands from his face, pinning them flat against the wall. Alec groaned as Magnus kissed his cheek, his jaw, his chest, his stomach. Urging him for more, more, more.

Alec broke away with a wicked grin, walking around an put his hand flat against Magnus’ chest. He pushed him backwards, still remembering to try and be gentle so he didn’t hit his head. As Alec gripped his face and kissed him hungrily, Magnus nails dug into Alec’s shoulder blades, dragging him closer with his teeth against Alec’s bottom lip. Magnus’ hands slid down over Alec’s back before firmly grabbing Alec’s butt and Alec lifted his leg so his knee was against the wall by Magnus’ hip. Magnus ran his hand down Alec’s leg it in one long motion and Alec shivered and gasped, losing himself in the feeling of their mouths clashing together, his heart racing with adrenaline. “Screw being tired. You want to have sex in the shower?”

Magnus shook his head and bit his lip as Alec kissed his throat. “We don’t have the right lubricant- urgh- shopping- trip.”

Alec ran his hands flat over Magnus’ chest, tilting his head down to intensify the kiss. “Bedroom?”

Magnus broke away and turned the shower on. Fine mist sprayed around the room as Magnus jumped in, laughing as he pulled Alec after him. Water poured down them both, creating an almost unbearable friction. It was everything and yet not enough. They giggled as they threw their heads under the water in turn and Alec groaned at Magnus’ hands that were sliding over his waist from behind. “Magnus- I can’t-”

Magnus finished flicking his hair back through the water and jumped out, taking Alec’s hand as they panted. “Is there a towel in your room?”

Alec nodded as he climbed out. “Yeah. On the radiator. Why?”

Magnus threw his arm behind Alec’s knees, literally sweeping him off his feet.

Neither of them knew how they made it back to Alec’s room, Magnus running across the hallway with Alec in his arms. He kicked the door open with his foot, dropping Alec onto the bed.

***

Jace watched silently as Maryse walked over with his tie. Her and Izzy were in fancy dresses and the boys had plain, white shirts with black ties. They’d managed to find one for him eventually, but it had taken a lot of hunting.

Jace looked down as Maryse. Robert and Izzy were in the next room, trying to get Max sorted. Maryse put the tie around Jace’s neck, crossing it over. “Jace? Can I ask you something?”

“I expect you’re going to.”

Maryse lifted her chin at an angle while she did up the tie. “Do you think you might get married someday? Would you like to?”

Jace rolled his eyes. He didn’t like talking about things like this. “Mom, I’m not Alec.”

“So you don’t?”

Jace shook his head. “No I mean, I might someday but I don’t plan out every second of my future like he does. I’ve seen how he looks at Magnus. He’s practically running through invite designs and cake flavours every time they talk. Mom-”

Maryse chuckled. She’d finished with the tie and jace pulled it looser, making her sigh as she sat down on the bed. “You know, don’t you?”

“About them being together? Yeah...I do. One of our friends from school texted Izzy-”

“Jace, promise me you wont give him a hard time for it. I’ve never seen Alec this happy. You do crazy things when you’re in love like that-”

Jace held up his hands. “Okay! Enough with the mush fest. Alec is in love! We get it!” Jace’s phone buzzed from the bed and he picked it up, putting it to his ear as he ran out. “Hi, hi, hi! I know! I miss you too!”

Maryse laughed. “I’m presuming that isn’t Alec? Mush fest.” She shook her head. “...You’re just as bad as he is.”

***

Alec panted on his back, laughing and shaking his head as he watched Magnus finish pulling his shirt on. “Magnus, I don’t think my legs work anymore.”

Magnus walked over and grabbed Alec’s clothes off the chair. He chucked them at Alec from across the room. “Come on, we’ve gotta go. We haven’t had breakfast yet either and we both have medication to take. As great as it would be, we can’t just stay here and have sex all day.”

Alec rolled his eyes and pulled on his underwear. “Uggh, Okay!”

Magnus laughed as he chucked a pair of socks at Alec. “And call your mother.”

“Okayyy!!!” Magnus threw himself down on the bed and did his belt up. Today was going to be hot, so he’d thrown on a long, white, top that he could unbutton if it got too warm. He’d also chosen a simple pair of tight, black  pants that he knew he looked great in but were still cool enough to wear. Alec rolled onto his stomach, still just in his boxers. He picked up Magnus’ make up bag and pulled something out. “What’s this for?”

Magnus looked sideways, trying to bring his kohl pencil to his eye while holding his compact mirror. “That’s eyeliner.”

Alec placed it back and brought out another, dotting a bit on his finger. “What’s this?”

Magnus looked sideways again. His hand was shaking slightly and he paused for a second. “That’s highlighter. I don’t usually wear that in the day though.” Magnus looked over and pulled a small palette from Alec’s hands. “Seriously, go get dressed! And that’s eyeshadow which I do want so give!” Alec rolled away and got up, pulling his  pants on. He did up his button and zip as he sent a quick text to his mom. Magnus gave up with the kohl pencil. He didn’t know what was the matter with him today. His hands were still shaking. Probably with adrenaline or low blood sugar, he needed to eat. “You know it might be warm later?”

Alec walked over to his draw and pulled it open. “I’ll wear a top I can open like yours but I’m not sure because I don’t like people seeing my chest. There’s marks from where my port was taken out.”

Magnus got up and walked behind him, putting his arms around Alec’s waist. “Don’t you know how gorgeous you are?”

Alec smiled. “Do you? You’re wearing makeup.”

Magnus recoiled a bit. “Yes, but it’s minimal. I also wear it because I like the process of putting it on.” Magnus turned around and walked back to the bed, picking up the case and zipping it shut. Alec picked up the pack of makeup wipes that was on the side and Magnus looked down as he texted his dad. “Hey Ale-” Alec grinned as he threw a wipe, flat into Magnus’ face.

“Alec-”

“Beautiful!”

“Alec- what are you-”

Alec threw another. “Beautiful!!”

Magnus laughed as Alec chucked a third. “Okay! I get it! Stop messing up my wipes!”

Alec found the top he wanted and strolled over, buttoning it up as he leaned down, kissing Magnus softly. “I’m only teasing. Like I said, you’re beautiful with or without it. You ready for breakfast?”

Hand in hand, the two of them made their way downstairs. After sorting out their medication, Magnus sat down at the table, watching as Alec tried to impress him and catch pancakes from as far up as he could toss them. “You do realise that you’re going to get one stuck to the ceiling, right?” Alec laughed as he tossed one and spun around before catching it.

As Alec put some of the pancakes onto a large plate, Magnus strolled over to the fridge and pulled off the piece of paper. Alec sat down and set out two smaller plates, laughing as Magnus walked back over. “Okay then, let’s see where we are.” Magnus sat down and slid the paper across the smooth, kitchen table. There was a pot with pens in it and he grabbed one, tapping it on the paper. “So when we went upstairs, you had one mark and I had two-”

“Yes! But I asked when we were in the bath!”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Fine. I guess I could stretch-” Alec chuckled and nodded. Magnus ignored him. “-and give you that one. So that would have made it equal. I woke you up at one and four and you woke me up at two, so I’m still one ahead.”

Alec held up his hands. “Hang on! I woke you up at five!”

“That doesn’t count!”

“You said yes! How does that not count?!”

“Because, Alexander, you fell asleep before we could get anywhere with it!!”

Alec smirked and rolled his eyes, holding up his hands. “Fine. Oh, hang on! We’re equal now then, because of earlier.”

Magnus set the paper down. “I guess we are. I might have to do something about that.”

Alec looked over the paper and grinned with red cheeks. “That’s pretty impressive for two days, if I may say so.”

Magnus laughed. “It is. For the love of God, please remember to take it down before your family comes home. I won’t be able to make eye contact with your father again if they realise what the joke is about.”

Alec moved one of the pancakes to a smaller plate and passed it with a few others to Magnus. “Will do. Now, I don’t know what you like on these, but I’ll learn. I like chocolate spread and strawberries usually but I’m not looking at them for a few days.”

“Lemon and sugar usually. You got them?”

“Sure. There’s a lemon in the fridge and the sugar is in the jar over there.” Alec pointed a few cupboards across and Magnus jumped down before returning with them both. “I’ve got something to show you, by the way.”

Alec grabbed his phone from the side and passed it to Magnus. He read over it and laughed softly.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

 

“Wow, you little poet. Hang on- Jace is afraid of ducks?”

Alec nodded, biting his lip. “He flew over one and fell in a pond when we were younger. Says the duck tripped him and grinned. He’s been petrified of them ever since.”

Magnus’ eyes went wide.This would open up a whole new world of opportunities. “Putting duck photos around his room-” Alec breathed in sharply and Magnus clapped his hands. “-I love it! Haha!” Magnus set the phone down and went back to eating. “Remember after we’ve finished eating, we have to clean up a bit. There’s still pesto in the corner from where I dropped the jar and we haven’t gone through the list that your mother gave you yet.”

Alec squeezed a bottle of honey over his pancakes and sat back. “Yeah. I suppose we better. We also need to sort out what we want to take with us. A blanket to sit on and some bottles of water for-” He held up the bottle “Well-Honey.” 

Magnus stuffed another pancake into his mouth. He usually didn’t have an appetite but Alec’s pancakes were really good. “Sounds great. Do you know how good sugar and lemon goes together? Don’t tell anyone but I actually bake sometimes and lemon drizzle cake is my favourite.”

Alec shook his head. He’d actually never tried it on pancakes but he couldn’t help smiling at the thought of Magnus making cakes and walking around with a mixing bowl in his hands. “I’ll try in a sec, just let-” Magnus walked over and threw himself in Alec’s lap, kissing him softly with his arms around Alec’s neck. They broke apart and Alec laughed as he shook his head and licked his lips. “Mmm... I fell straight for that one. Right, let’s get everything cleaned up.”

***

Lily yawned as she strolled over to the phone. She’d only just woken up and felt even worse today. She was glad that Magnus hadn’t come over. It was a long drive and she hated when he drove on his own anyway. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” She sniffled as she put the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hey, Lily-blossom, it’s me.”

“As! How are you?”

“Listen, Lil- My phone is about to die so I have to talk quickly. I’m outside the cafe where you met Aminah. There’s something wrong with the car. There’s no garage around here but if they tow it to yours, maybe they can get the part for tomorrow. Can I be a huge pain and ask if I can stay at yours tonight?”

She thought for a second. He sounded desperate and he had helped her out a million times before. Asmodeus had been given the car from work and he was planning to drop it back on the way home but he sounded like he was really stuck. Magnus had- oh no.

“Umm, sure, but-”

“Oh, Lily! You are a true lifesaver!”

The phone beeped as his phone died and she couldn’t respond. It looks like she’d have some explaining to do.

***

Alec stared around as Magnus unlocked the front door. Magnus chatted cheerily as he pushed it open. He had his bag on his back but had told Alec to bring some of his clothes along. Alec carried them nervously in his hands. Just a small pile for now, a few things that he would need if he spent the night. They’d stopped in the pharmacy along the way and Alec had excitedly taken the time to buy himself another toothbrush for Magnus’ house.

“I never thought we’d get that lot cleared up. Turns out pesto really sticks- but- Oh! Make yourself at home. I guess it kinda will be after tomorrow if you’re going to sleep here- it might be a little weird at first but my father works away a lot so it shouldn’t be-”

Alec looked around with wide eyes. The whole house was open plan and very modern. There were steps going up in a curve, in the middle of the room. “Wooww! Your house is huge.”

“I forgot that you haven’t been here before. My room is just up the stairs if you want to check it out and put your stuff away. I’ve just got a few things to do.”

Alec made his way upstairs and peered around. His house had family pictures all over the walls but Magnus’ had framed artwork dotted around. He didn’t know much about interior design but it looked like Magnus’ father had a real knack for design and choosing colour.

Magnus hadn’t specified which room was his so when Alec walked into one and saw the double bed, he had no idea if it was Magnus’ or his fathers. Alec opened the wardrobe. Magnus had said to make himself at home but he guessed it would still feel like he was intruding for a while. Alec looked in for a second and closed the door again. From the suits and lack of colour range, he could tell that the room was actually Asmodeus’. He paused for a second. He could see the box that Magnus had been telling him about. It was high up on the top shelf. There was a dress with a cover over it and Alec could see from the bottom that it must have been Aminah’s wedding dress.

Alec quickly made his way out of the room. He tried the next one and breathed a sigh of relief when it was apparent that he’d found the right one. There was obvious evidence that a teenager lived there: Multiple chargers, some posters from a band or TV show that Alec didn’t know and a mini fridge in the corner, next to a set of speakers.

There wasn’t a set dresser in the room, more like a vanity table. There were two other doors leading off and Alec opened one, peering in. There was a large bathroom with a tub and a shower over it. The sink was in the corner and there was a long mirror going down the whole of the back wall. Alec put his toothbrush next to Magnus’ with a smile and closed the door again. He tried the next one, laughing as he opened it.

Alec walked in and found himself surprised at the sheer number of clothes that lined the walk-in wardrobe. There was space to walk down the middle, in between the two rails of clothes. Alec couldn’t even name all the colours or fabrics, let alone explain how Magnus managed to find what he wanted, but Magnus obviously had some sort of system. The things Alec had seen him wear more often were all closer to the door to his room. There were shelves above with shoes and various other things. Alec carefully placed his clothes onto one of the shelves. This was still Magnus’ space and as it was Magnus’ little corner and his own way of expressing himself, Alec didn’t want to claim any of it unless Magnus said it was okay.

***

“Good morning, Fish. Were you waiting for Papa? Oh yes, you were!” Magnus looked up as Alec started coming down the stairs. “And this is your new stepdad, but just because Papa also loves someone else now, it doesn’t mean he’ll have any less time for you.”

Alec laughed as he walked into the kitchen area. Magnus was sprinkling flakes into the fish bowl. “Have you told him about the new baby yet?”

Magnus laughed and set the flakes down, jumping in front of the bowl. “Shh! We’ll work up to telling him that.”

Alec grinned and pulled Magnus close, hugging him tightly and rocking slightly. “What was that for?”

Alec tilted Magnus’ chin up. “Why’s it gotta be for anything?”

Magnus put his hand on Alec face and they kissed softly. It still managed to get them both out of breath. Magnus ran his hand down Alec’s face and Alec closed his eyes as Magnus spoke. “I love you so much.”

Alec smiled. “I love you too.” There was a beep from the corner and Alec lifted his head. “Coffee machine. You’ll hear it a lot when you’re staying here.” Magnus laughed. “I think me and my father have a problem. You want a cup?”

Alec would have normally refused, but Magnus explained the different types he could have and the fact that neither of them had gotten much sleep the previous night. “Sure. Just a small one though.” Magnus walked across the room and Alec moved towards the table. He paused for a second. In his house, everyone had strictly assigned seats. Jace had come up with something called ‘turtling’ which basically meant his siblings having their chair pulled from under them and landing on their back if they sat in his spot. “Where do I sit?”

Magnus laughed and brought two cups over. “You are so cute! Wherever you want. Me and my father don’t really sit anywhere in particular.”

Magnus handed Alec the coffee and he took a sip as he winced. “This, this is great.”

Magnus walked across the room and pulled the fridge open. There wasn’t much in the fridge but there was a carton of milk. Magnus poured a little into a cup and tasted it before pouring some into Alec’s espresso. “Try putting milk in it. I drink mine without but it’s probably a bit strong.”

Alec took another sip. “Oh, that’s much better. Thank God. The doctors said I’m not supposed to have lots of caffeine because of long term medication though. There was literally a list of stuff.”

Magnus laughed and drained his cup. “You gotta live a little. There’s no point otherwise, is there? Is there anything else you can’t have?”

“Not really, just keep to a healthy diet where I can maintain my weight. They want me to eat more dairy stuff because it’s high in fat and has calcium. Also to just be aware of infection risks. I’m not allowed to go swimming until I get the all clear in a couple months and I’m supposed to take it easy, which is annoying because I used to love the gym and my archery. I’ll have to wait now.”

Magnus noticed his shoelace was undone and spoke as he leaned down. They were supposed to pick up Honey soon and being late would mean less time with her. “Well I need to train myself up for when I take public services in uni. I was going to start running but maybe we could go to the gym together when you’re better.”

Alec set his cup down and tapped on Fish’s bowl. “Sounds like a plan. Have you got everything?”

Magnus smiled, watching the fish swim as he followed Alec’s finger. Alec rested on one elbow, the sun peering down on him from the ceiling, casting him in golden light.

“Yes, I have. I’ve got everything.”

***

Simon walked over with the two small tubs of ice cream and handed one to Clary. When they were younger, they’d always come to this spot on a Sunday afternoon. They’d sit on the wall and watched the ocean sparkling as they ate ice cream from the little stand that was a little further up. “We should bring Jace and Izzy here. It’s so peaceful.” Simon pulled the top off his ice cream and pulled out the little wooden spoon. “Do you remember the first like- three- times we came here and we didn’t know the spoons were in the top of the lid so we licked them?”

Clary laughed as she set her lid down and licked the top of her chocolate ice cream. “Sure do. We were pretty young though.”

Simon ate another spoonful and kicked his legs. Clary was resting sideways and facing him  so she didn’t have to hold her broken leg over mid air. “You ready for school tomorrow?”

Clary nodded and licked her ice cream. “Yeah. Jace and Izzy are back really early so they’re coming in to school after all. They’ll probably be really tired though.”

“Do you think we should have checked in on Alec for them? Like I know we haven’t known him that long but everyone’s kinda- like- family- aren’t they?”

Clary grinned into her ice cream. “No need. Jace told me that Magnus is there with him.”

Simon’s eyes widened and he lowered his spoon with his mouth open. “Ohmygod, your mom would go mad if you did that.”

Clary thought for a second, changing the subject. “Have you and Izzy kissed yet?”

“Woah! Where’s that coming from?!”

Clary laughed. “Calm down. I was just wondering. Don’t say anything to Izzy but something always comes up between me and Jace and it worries me. I know he’s kissed girls but I haven’t been kissed before…”

Simon leaned forward and kissed the end of Clary’s nose. “There, you have. Don’t worry about it. It’ll happen when it needs to. I’ve kissed Izzy on the cheek when I walked her to her doorstep but no, we haven’t kissed properly yet. Although Jace may have been standing there with his arms crossed.”

Clary laughed. “I’ll talk to him. Same goes for you guys though. It’ll happen when you’re ready.”

***

“Look at her little nose!”

“And her little paws!”

Alec and Magnus cooed over Honey as they stood by the door with her. Magnus’ boss was giving them strict rules about when to bring her back and how she’d have to be carried if they walked far because puppies got tired. Magnus had said that she could go in his backpack with her head poking out but Alec wanted to carry her himself.

“You guys aren’t listening to a word I say, are you?” They continued to make little noises and Magnus laughed as Honey bit Alec’s nose with the little needles that they called teeth. “Okay, have her back in a few hours. If you run away with her, I will come searching.”

Magnus’ boss walked back into the store and Alec set Honey down to clip her lead onto her collar. They just had a plain one for now and a longer, extendable one, but Magnus was whittling Alec down into getting one with rhinestones on it. Magnus reached into his pocket. Alec knew Magnus had bought something online for her but he’d been keeping it a surprise. When Magnus put the little cap on Honey, pulling her ears through the holes, he couldn’t help but laugh. It was an exact replica of Alec’s with ‘MB’ on the front. She looked ridiculous but it was probably going to be the first of many pieces of clothing that Magnus would buy for her. She’d probably end up needing her own wardrobe if he had his way.

Honey pulled at the lead in Alec’s hand, excited to be going somewhere without actually knowing where that was. The car wasn’t far but Magnus reached his hand out for Alec to hold, the little family heading out for their first day together.

“This is nice. Isn’t it, Alexander? It just feels like a normal Sunday afternoon with our dog. It’s like we’re taking her out and then going back to ours to cook lunch before the family comes round.”

Alec smiled, swinging their hands together. The car was already in sight but the park wasn’t far away and they could walk together again in a bit. “I was frightened for so long that I would never get this. There was a part of me that just felt I would never get to go home.” Alec’s voice cracked and Magnus stopped walking.

“Come here.” Alec put on a smile as Magnus went up on his tiptoes kissed his forehead. “You’re okay, Alexander. We both are. We are going to be okay, alright? It’s all over with now. No more hospitals. I promise.” Alec nodded and kissed him softly. They continued walking to the car with their hands linked together and Magnus pulled the passenger side open. “Hold her tightly, okay? We’re gonna have to get something to clip her in but she’ll be okay for now.”

Magnus shut the door and rushed around to start the car. Up until now, it had felt like this was some crazy dream. Here they were. He just had school tomorrow and since Alec was starting back for a few hours on Friday, they would be able to get Honey in the afternoon and just have their new start. He couldn’t wait. Everything was going to change tomorrow.

Magnus jumped into the driver's seat and started the car. Alec’s face was hurting from grinning. The car was hot so Magnus turned on the AC and opened the window on his side. “Can you pass me my sunglasses? They’re in the glove compartment. The bright light is giving me a headache.”

Alec pulled them out and handed them over. “Are you okay?”

Magnus put them on as he smiled. “Sure am. I have painkillers in my bag but I don’t usually need them. I’ve just gotta be careful with bright light.” He pulled the car out of the car park and Alec spoke as they pulled out onto the road.

“Are all epileptic people the same? With light?”

Magnus shook his head.

“They’re called triggers. A lot of people don’t get them after having what I had. I was just unlucky. Seizures can happen for different reasons. They can very from person to person. Light, loud music, sleep deprivation, alcohol or drugs, stress, fevers, missing medication or of course, actually having a tumour.”

Alec’s eyes went wide. “That sounds like a lot.”

Magnus licked his lips and turned the steering wheel. “I haven’t had a big one since I was in hospital. I know it’s over kill but maybe it would be a good idea for me to teach you what to do if I have one. I have a card in my wallet that I always carry. It has the steps on it and it says on my necklace to follow the instructions. Seizures are tricky though. There’s different types. I can have minor ones where it looks like I zone out. They’re called ‘Absent’ seizures. I could even have had them with you already and you not realised. They only last about ten seconds and look like I’m daydreaming. I don’t know I’ve had one unless someone tells me but they aren’t a problem and I can still drive.”

Alec looked over and stroked Honey’s head. “What are the others?”

“A ‘Myoclonic’ seizure is if my body or limbs jerk like having an electric shock. They happen after waking up and only last a second. There’s ‘Clonic’ seizures where your body shakes but doesn’t go rigid or anything and you might lose consciousness, I’ve never had one of those though, and ‘Tonic’ seizures are when your body goes rigid. It’s an over complicated process if you ask me. Oh- and ‘Atonic’ seizures make your body go rigid and you lose your balance.”

Alec swore under his breath. “Is that it? Holy crap that’s a lot to remember.”

Magnus smiled, trying to reassure him by putting his hand on Alec’s shoulder for a second. “The only thing you would ever have to do is follow the card. I don’t have to go to hospital unless I have multiple ones or one lasts longer than five minutes. There is one more though and that’s what the card is really for.”

Alec gulped, feeling overwhelmed. This was frightening but it was nothing compared to what Magnus had to live with. He might actually save Magnus’ life one day by learning this. “What one is that?”

“It’s called a ‘Tonic-clonic’ seizure. It’s what you stereotypically see on TV shows and stuff. The tonic stage is losing consciousness and the clonic stage is the jerking about. It’s horrible but I could lose control of myself, bite my tongue or cheek, have difficulty breathing. I don't mean to frighten you or anything but it's important to know. And besides, I haven’t had one of those since I went into hospital. I don't plan to have one either or you’ll have to drive us because I won't be able to drive for a year afterwards. If that happens, get me on my side in case I’m sick and don't try to pull my tongue out of my mouth or anything. I know it sounds stupid but some people think of doing that. And don’t put anything in my mouth to bite on because that could break my teeth. Right can we talk about something else now?"

Alec nodded. "Yes. Let's talk about Honey instead."

They turned the corner and the parking area loomed up in front of them.

Magnus pulled the car into one of the slots. “No need, actually. We’re here.”

Alec undid his seat belt and Honey yipped as he passed her over the middle of the seats. His hands were under her front and she kicked her little back legs as she wagged her tail. “Take the baby for a second. I have to get the stuff out the trunk.”

Magnus pushed his door open and lifted Honey in the air with his mouth open, bringing her up and down again as she wriggled. “Annnnd we goooo...Up again! Annnnd Honey gooooess...up again!”

Magnus set her down in his lap as Alec walked around to his side and set their bags down. His own had a blanket rolled up in it and the stuff for Honey. Magnus’ had the medication they needed for lunchtime, along with two water bottles and their phones and wallets. Alec double checked his bag before he spoke. “You ready to go, baby?”

Magnus’ eyes went wide and he put his hands on his face. “Awww! Yes, let’s go!”

Magnus stood up, kissing Alec’s cheek as he handed him the puppy. Magnus leaned down to close his zip properly. Alec laughed into Honey’s fur. He’d actually been talking to her but Magnus didn’t need to know that.

“Right, that’s everything. Where do you want to go first?”

Alec looked at his phone. “It’s nearly lunchtime. Why don’t we go to the grassy area and put the blanket out? One of us can wait with puppy and the other can go get us food.”

Magnus shut the car door and locked it. Alec had brought out Honey’s other lead and clipped it on. It would extend so she could have more freedom without the worry of her running off. “Sounds good... Is it a crime to eat hot dogs in front of an actual dog?”

Alec laughed. “I don’t think they’re actually made of dog, you know?” They followed the path as several people walked past. The park was busy today and many people ‘Awwed’ or pointed at Honey as they walked with their hands linked, probably at the fact that she was wearing a baseball cap. It actually made a nice difference for them to be noticed for just having Honey. In their opinion, it didn’t even warrant commenting or glances. They were just a regular teenage couple. It shouldn’t have made any difference that they were two guys. Alec swung their linked hands as he spoke.

“It’s so nice to just take a walk as a normal couple. Like there’s no one here that knows what we’ve been through. There's no one looking at us with pity or anyone worrying about us. It’s just a normal Sunday lunchtime.”

Magnus nodded and put his sunglasses up on his head.

Alec passed the lead to Magnus and pulled his bag off his back. He brought the blanket out as they approached a nice grassy area that was dappled with shade from the nearby trees. “This seems like a good spot.” Honey sniffed around the grass as Alec and Magnus got their stuff out. A butterfly flew around her in a circle and instead of snapping at it, she panted softly as it landed on her nose.

“Honey! Come here, sweetie!”

Honey snuffled as she turned around to the sound of Alec’s voice, tripping in the grass as her little legs carried her excitedly to her proud parents. Alec held his arms out and pouted as Honey raced straight past him to Magnus, who was sitting on his knees. “You traitor!” Magnus grinned and shook a treat packet. “That’s cheating! You’re buying her with treats!” Magnus rolled onto his back on the blanket and laughed. Honey jumped all over him as he gave her another treat. Alec crawled over and took the bag, laying down next to Magnus. “I am not playing bad cop but if you keep giving her treats, you’re either going to make her sick or she’ll end up so fat that she’ll need to run around on a skateboard!”

Magnus lifted her in the air as she panted. “Your Dada's just jealous!”

Alec crossed his arms over his chest, watching as Magnus set Honey down to sit on the blanket. “Am not. I’m hungry.” Magnus sat up and started unbuttoning the front of his own shirt. “Woah! Hang on! What are you doing?”

Magnus looked at him. “It’s hot. I’m taking my shirt off. What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Fine. There’s sun block in my bag if you want some.”

“Alexander, I don’t burn. I tan. Are you just trying to get your hands on me because you know we’re in the middle of a park, right?”

Alec laughed and crawled over. He’d never been this honest about himself in public before. As he sat down, practically in Magnus’ lap with his arms around his neck, Alec thought to himself that he’d never imagined being this close with another man when there were so many strangers around. Alec whispered as he laughed. “I want to take mine off but I’m comfy now and it might look a bit suggestive If I start taking clothes off while I’m sitting in your lap.”

Magnus laughed and slowly unbuttoned Alec’s shirt as he kissed him softly. “No one’s watching, come on.”

Magnus pulled the shirt back and Alec pulled his arms out, dropping it onto the blanket. Magnus lay down and Alec followed, lying over his chest as they kissed, losing themselves in the warm summer sun. Just as they remembered they were in fact in a public park, a bundle of fur jumped between them. Alec rolled off and sat up as Honey jumped into his lap. “Guess that might be harder with the baby around.”

Magnus laughed and winked, making Alec blush. “Guess tonight’s our last night of freedom. We’ll have to make the most of it.”

***

The wedding had been held in the grounds of the manor house. Maryse listened to the cheering at the bride and groom and the upbeat music that played through the gardens. She watched from up on the steps as Robert handed her a drink. “The ceremony was nice.”

“It was but I just want to get back now.”

Robert kissed her head. “Won’t be long. I dread to see what state the house will be in.”

The couple watched down to the grass below. A load of tents had been put up and people were dancing and laughing. Jace and Max were wrestling on the ground as Izzy stomped her feet at them. They were hooked up on cake and the only way anyone would get sleep tonight is if they let them work it off now.

“I don’t know why I find it reassuring but even though they’re growing, they still act like kids.”

Robert nodded before he spoke. “You spoke to Alec?”

Maryse nodded and sniffed her drink. She didn’t want to know how much alcohol was in it. She watched as Izzy cackled and Jace nearly pushed Max into the fountain. She looked at it again and took a big sip. “Yes, we talked. I didn’t pry but everything’s okay. Him and Magnus are going to the park and they managed to get the puppy for a few hours. He was a little upset that they’ll have to take her back because they’ll have to wait until after school to get her but I’m going to let Alec have the car and pick up Magnus so they can go get her.” She paused and smiled while looking down. “He’s so happy, Robert. I never thought I’d see the day when Alec was head-over-heels in love with anyone. He’s come so far.”

Robert nodded. “He has. You know, I remember when we first met. We both got stood up at the same restaurant and ended up at tables next to each other. Four kids later and here we are. I hope they all end up with what we found.”

Maryse hugged Robert’s waist and he kissed the top of her head. There was an almighty cheer from the crowd that had gathered to dance. Jace had sat behind them on the grass, out of breath as Max ran over with more cake. Jace watched with wide eyes as the bouquet was thrown and landed in his lap.

***

After Alec had brought out some water and food for Honey, Magnus decided to go to the food stand. Alec had told him that they did good burgers so he set off to stand in the line.

There was a tap on his shoulder and was about to tell Alec to stay with their bags when he realised who it was. Her Mom, who she was named after, was actually Magnus’ nurse when he was in hospital.

“Cat! It’s been so long!” She stood modestly in front of him. They had been so close once but that was a long time ago.

“How are you, Magnus? I’ve felt so awful. My mom has mentioned seeing you in the hospital but I felt so bad about us drifting that I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I’m really sorry.”

Magnus smiled as they moved up in line. He’d missed Cat but it would take a while to forget the feeling from when his friend’s visits had started to get more spaced out.

He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. I’m doing good. Really good actually.”

“Mom said that you’re not having treatment now. She obviously couldn’t say much because of confidentiality but I’m glad you’re doing better.”

Magnus reached the front of the queue. “Can I have two burgers please? One with cheese and one without?”

He handed over the money and the man told him to wait around the corner of the hut. He strolled around and after Cat was given her ice cream, she waited with him. Cat motioned to the two burgers being prepared. “You here with your dad?”

Magnus shook his head and grinned down. “Umm, no actually. I kinda have a boyfriend.”

Cat’s face lit up and she punched his shoulder playfully. “That’s fantastic! Have you been together long?”

The guy behind the hatch called Magnus’ name and he walked over to get the burgers. Alec didn’t want any sauce on his so Magnus pulled the top off his cheeseburger and put some barbeque sauce onto it. He licked his thumb before picking them up again.

“A little while. I know all teens say it, Cat, but I’m going to marry him. I am. I know we haven’t spoken in a while but I don’t even care about saying it. He’s my soulmate, Cat. We’re meant for each other. We’ve got a puppy together and everything’s just perfect. I’m so happy.”

Cat put her hand over her mouth, holding the ice cream in the other. “I’m so happy for you, Magnus. I have to get back but please say we can be friends again.” She pulled her phone out and tapped at the screen. “Would you mind giving me your number? I tried before but I guessed you got a new one.” Magnus had been having an off day when he was in the hospital before and had thrown it against a wall in a fit of rage.

“Yeah, I got a new one.” He typed his number in and waved as Cat ran off.

**

Alec lay on his back with his arms behind his head, watching as a butterfly danced around the sky. Honey was lapping water from her collapsible bowl and he listened to the sound of the water and all of the people around him. There was a group of boys kicking a ball around, a little further down the field. Honey growled and tilted her head at them.

“Honey, don’t.” Honey growled again and Alec sat up. He was sitting on the handle of her lead and as he went to reach for it, Honey shot off across the grass. “Honey! No!” Considering how short her legs were, the little puppy sure could run. Alec’s heart raced. Sure, amorous activities with Magnus were one thing but sprinting across a field was quite literally, a whole other ball game. Alec panted as he ran, not caring that he’d left all their stuff, he’d never forgive himself if he lost her. Honey skidded into one of the boys who was about to kick the ball. She rolled with it, grabbing the ball in her mouth and shaking it. Alec whispered silent apologies as he tried to catch her. Some of the boys laughed while others crossed their arms. Just as Alec was on the verge of crying, a tennis ball was rolled to him and Honey dropped the football, racing back to his feet. Alec picked her up and she chewed the tennis ball as he held her out in front of him, tapping her nose.

“Naughty, Honey! You gave Dad a heart attack!”

Alec carried her off and the boys continued with their game. Alec threw himself back down on the blanket, panting as a shadow loomed over him. Alec put his hand over his eyes and squinted. The sun was shining behind whoever it was and because they were also not wearing a shirt, his heart picked up for a second when he thought it was Magnus.

“Oh hey…”

“Andrew.”

“Yes! Andrew, how are you?”

Andrew sat down on the grass and Honey strolled over with the ball. “I just wanted to say you could keep it. My boyfriend is here with his dog and we’ve got a whole load of them.”

Alec sat up. The sun was boiling on his head and that with short hair wasn’t a good combination. He pulled his bag over for a second and pulled out his cap, putting it on backwards. Andrew laughed slightly at how Alec and Honey were now matching.

“Oh, you threw it? That’s kind of you. Thanks.”

“I didn’t know you had a puppy. I text Isabelle sometimes and I see her and your brother in school but they never mentioned that you did.”

Alec put his head on his knees. “Well we haven’t officially had her yet. My siblings don’t know. This is just for a couple hours and we pick her up tomorrow. Magnus managed to pull some strings because he works in the pet store. She’s actually both of ours though. She’s going to live between our houses.”

Andrew tugged at some of the grass as he spoke. “Wow. So you’re going to own her together? That’s pretty big. I didn’t know you guys had been together that long.” He chuckled as he stroked Honey’s head. “Apologies for not keeping up-”

Alec held his hand up. “Oh, no, it’s all good. I’m actually starting school for a few hours on Friday so we can catch up. Can you keep a secret?”

Andrew sat down next to Alec and nodded. “Sure.”

“I’m not going to bore you with some squishy story but even though we haven’t known each other long, there’s something special with me and Magnus. I’m going to marry him one day. I know it.”

Andrew smiled. “That’s great. To be honest, I can’t wait to feel like that about someone. My boyfriend is captain of his football team. He’s tall and athletic with blond hair and blue eyes. Guys and girls go crazy over him and always tell me I’m really lucky... but I don’t think he’s- “the one”. There’s no excitement or spark between us. I need to be with someone who likes art and history like I do.”

Alec pouted and put his hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear that. You’ll find him eventually though-” Honey’s ears pricked up from where she was lying on the blanket, as much as they could with the hat on her head. She wagged her tail as Magnus walked over and sat on the other side of Alec, putting the burgers on the blanket. Magnus put his arms around Alec’s neck, kissing his cheek before looking up and turning his hat around to show his initials to Andrew.

“Hey, you’re the pizza boy, aren’t you? We met the other day.”

Andrew backed off slightly. It seemed that Magnus was very protective but Alec was grinning and rubbing their noses together so it looked like he found it more endearing than annoying. “Uh, yes, Andrew. I used to go to school with Alec. Listen, I’ve got to get back so I’ll see you guys around.”

They both waved as Andrew patted Honey’s head and set off. Alec kept smiling for a second and then laughed as he pushed Magnus onto his back and turned his hat back round.

“Ohmygod you are so jealous!” Magnus laughed as Alec squished his face. “Seriously! Can you imagine me being back in school?! It’s bad enough I have an unattainably hot boyfriend but now there’ll be word going around that he’s a nutcase and I coordinate my clothes with my dog!!”

Magnus sat up on his elbows as he grinned. “You think I’m hot?”

Alec laughed, leaning forward. “Oh, shut up.”

Their faces pressed together and Alec’s tongue parted Magnus’ lips. They melted into it as Magnus lay flat, pulling Alec on top of him. Magnus’ hands ran over Alec’s back as Alec’s hands gripped either side of Magnus’ face. There was a yip from behind them and Alec broke away and sat up. “Seriously? What is her problem?”

Magnus laughed as he leaned up on his elbows again. “She wants food.” Honey was wagging her tail patiently at the burgers on the blanket. He picked one up and looked at it before handing it to Alec. “That one’s yours.”

After they both sat up properly, they took the medication they both needed and ate their burgers in silence for a few minutes, watching everything that was going on around them. Alec leaned his head onto Magnus’ shoulder, closing his eyes with his spare arm around Magnus’ waist.

Alec swallowed what he was eating and then spoke. “I love you.”

Magnus smiled, bumping his head gently against Alec’s. They turned to each other and pecked each other on the lips. “I love you too.”

Alec thought for a second and finished his last bite. “I wish there was another way to say it. Like it means so much but I can’t tell you any more than that. Does that make sense? I want to tell you more without bursting into a song in the middle of a park.”

Magnus laughed, giving his last bite to Honey. They lay back together and Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s shoulders, kissing the side of his head. “Yes, that makes sense. There is another way though.”

Alec narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Alec, aku cinta kamu.” Magnus grinned.

“That’s beautiful. What does it mean?”

Magnus pushed up Alec’s hat. “I remember my father saying it when I was little. I think now that it was something my mother said to him. It means ‘I love you’ in Indonesian. I can’t say I know much about my heritage but I think it’s sweet.”

Alec snuggled into him. The warm breeze that was drifting across was making him feel sleepy. “Magnus, aku cinta kamu.”

***

Lily unlocked the front door and Asmodeus followed her in. He’d apparently not had a good night and had been nodding off most of the way. She’d wanted to tell him about Magnus before they got to the house but it was a bit late now. He couldn’t go anywhere, anyway. It had taken him about an hour and a half to get to the cafe. It had taken another three hour round trip to get him back to hers AND it would be another two hour drive to get back home. 

She threw her keys on the table. She felt rotten but she couldn’t have exactly leave him stranded. “Listen, As. I’m going to lie down-”

“Where’s Magnus?”

Lily rubbed her eyes. “Okay, don’t be mad-”

“What’s happened?! Where is he?!”

Lily sighed. “He’s fine. I’ve been texting him- Okay- I’ll tell you. I’m really sick, okay? I’ve driven hours and I just want to sleep. I didn’t want Magnus to catch anything so I said he could stay with his friend-”

“LILY! He’s not staying with a friend’s house! I know exactly where he’s gone!”

“Okay! His boyfriend’s then! Does it matter?! You have to let him be an adult.” She rubbed her eyes and breathed for a second. “He’s fine, As. I promise.”

Asmodeus turned away and faced the window. “Okay. I’m sorry for shouting.” His eyes teared up and he blinked it away. “He’s my son. Of course, I’m protective, but he’s also Aminah’s. I owe it to her to keep him safe. He’s all I’ve really got left of her.”

Lily pouted and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, As. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Magnus is okay though. He’s happy.”

Asmodeus turned back round to face Lily. He put a hand on her face for a second and she sat down on the couch. She felt faint and closed her eyes for a second. Asmodeus sat down next to her and touched her forehead. “You’re burning up. I’m sorry for making you drive to get me.”

She pulled away. “It doesn’t matter. Don’t stay though. You’ll get sick.”

Asmodeus laughed. “I don’t have much choice and I don’t care. I’m staying here and looking after you.” Lily lay back in defeat. She curled up and snuggled into her blanket on the couch. She was known in work for being the only woman who could give Asmodeus a run for his money but even she was defeated today. Asmodeus walked across the room and into the kitchen area. Aminah had sworn on him having lemon and honey in his tea when he was sick. Asmodeus spoke as Lily lay down with her eyes shut. “I told Magnus about his Mother, by the way.”

Lily opened her eyes and closed them again, speaking softly. “How’d he take it?”

“Okay. Listen, as mad as I am for you guys lying, I can’t really be mad, can I? Magnus is crazy about the other boy. You should hear him at home. He’s literally incapable of talking about anything else.”

Lily smiled and took the cup as Asmodeus sat down next to her. “Don’t try and change the subject. You were the same with Aminah anyway… Don’t you think It’s time to get back out there? I don’t like the idea of you being on your own once Magnus goes to university.”

“I know. You said before.” Asmodeus sighed. “Some days, I think I could... but I have Magnus as a priority and I’d feel like I’m betraying her somehow.”

Lily thought for a second. “Well, you don’t have to be alone tonight anyway-”

“What do you mean?”

“Take the couch tonight and I’ll sleep upstairs. Listen, As. I loved Aminah. I still do. She was an amazing woman and an amazing friend-” She paused “-but I also knew how much you meant to her. She’d always put you first. She wouldn’t want you to hang on to the past and be alone.” She sat forward and put her hand on his face. Asmodeus tended to avoid talking about Aminah, despite how much he still loved her. It was as if everything was still raw and painful for him. A terrible shame, it was. They had their whole lives ahead of them with Magnus. Maybe they would have had more children, moved to a bigger house in the countryside somewhere. “Listen, As. You’ll never love her any less by being with someone else and she knew that- knows that. The right woman for you will accept that you have to hold on to her and will love you for it anyway. Don’t miss out. You deserve to have someone special who cares about you.”

***

As the afternoon sun started rolling over the sky, Magnus and Alec packed up their stuff so they could take a walk. They decided to go the long way back to the car, to try and draw out the time left as much as they could. Magnus screeched as he tried to shorten her lead. She shot off in the direction of the ducks and Alec laughed.

“Alexander! What if she can’t swim!?”

Alec reached over and calmly pressed the button on the handle. Honey stopped running and slowly strolled back to them. “Magnus, she’s a dog.”

Magnus laughed. “Oh, yeah. I wouldn’t want her to wreck her hat either.”

They’d planned on lifting Honey to show her the ducks in the pond safely, but as they carried on walking, her eyes were rolling and she ended up falling asleep In Magnus’ arms. He rocked her gently as she lay on her back, licking her lips while she dreamed about whatever it was that puppies dreamed about. Alec smiled as they walked with their hands linked, their arms wrapped tightly together.

There was a bench next to the pond and as they reached it, they sat down for a second, listening to the cool sounds of the water. When they had been setting up to go, Magnus had shown Alec what he’d had last Christmas. It was a small, square device that he could rest his phone on and instantly print out little photos. Alec wasn’t as tech savvy as he was but was desperate to have a go with it. Magnus lay Honey on her back, resting her on his legs as he pulled them both from his bag. They wouldn’t be able to print loads but he had had the idea to take some of the duck photos they talked about for Jace’s room. Alec had a printer and could photocopy them when they got back.

Magnus handed them to Alec and Alec held the phone up to take a picture of them both. Magnus lifted Honey, who was still sleeping, into his arms and Alec snapped the photo as they grinned and Alec laughed.

Alec lay the phone down on the little device and shook the photo when it came out.

Magnus pointed. “You can’t keep that! It looks like a photo you send to your family when your wife’s just given birth!”

Alec cackled and slid the photo into the clear screen of his wallet. “Forget the hat. I’m having that on a T-shirt!”

Magnus smiled as he watched Alec take photos of three different ducks. He printed them and slid them into the back of Magnus’ phone case. Alec eventually sat back and took Honey as Magnus stood and took selfies with the water behind him. He moved the camera to different angles but Alec knew that each one would end up perfect. Alec lay Honey on his chest and she licked her lips and yawned, making him smile. This point was the perfect ending to one of the best days Alec had ever had. He wanted again to just pause time and stay in this moment. Magnus sat back down and Alec made him print three of the selfies for him because he loved them so much. Alec stacked them together and smiled at them fondly before sliding them into his wallet and holding up the camera again. He put his arm around Magnus’ shoulder and kissed his cheek with his eyes closed. Magnus grinned, pressing the button to take it. Magnus took the phone from Alec’s hand and snapped another photo with their heads bumped together. The third ended up with Magnus smiling, looking perfect, and Alec screaming with a startled look as Honey woke up and jumped at him. Magnus printed two of each and took half for himself, reaching into his bag and pulling his own wallet out. Honey was a blonde blur as she jumped at Alec’s face.

Alec looked at the time on his phone. “I hate to be the bringer of bad news but we’ll have to start heading back.”

Finally awake, Magnus set Honey down. They put the short lead back on her and she skipped along as another butterfly danced alongside her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 Sorry this chapter took ages, I had the worst writer's block I've ever had and restarted my whole chapter because I wasn't happy with it.
> 
> Just adding two links on epilepsy if anyone would like a read. Please try and look in your local area for courses where you can learn basic first aid. It's a fantastic thing to do and you never know how you might end up helping someone.  
> The links are[ here](https://www.epilepsysociety.org.uk/seizure-types#.XTXP3ehKi00) and[ here](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/epilepsy/symptoms/)


	24. House Husbands: Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recently discharged from hospital, Alec is planning to spend a quiet weekend alone. It's only when the phone rings that plans are changed and he has an unexpected visitor.
> 
> "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Warning ❤️
> 
> Song for chapter 24:[ "Running After You."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L-jWBZ6jYM&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=26&t=0s)

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

“Don’t you think we should get up now?”

Alec grumbled as his nose buried into Magnus’ neck. They had only planned to go back to his quickly and had ended up snuggling on the couch for an hour. Despite it only being early afternoon, they were wrapped up in the warmth of each other and were close to falling asleep. Alec played with Magnus’ hands, taking in everything about them and mapping out every mark.

Magnus mumbled with his eyes closed and licked his lips. “We should be getting to mine but I’m so comfy. Can’t we just stay here?”

Alec twirled the rings around Magnus’ fingers, pulling one off and putting it onto his own thumb. He sat up and turned Magnus’ head, kissing him softly and hitting his leg as he laughed. “Right! Come on!”

Alec rolled off Magnus’ side and strolled across the room. He grabbed Magnus’ satchel off the table and his shoes from the floor, chucking them over the back of the couch. “You’re such a spoilsport!”

“Am not! You wanted to go to yours so move your butt!”

Magnus stood up, stretching his back as he watched Alec run around excitedly and throw things into his backpack. “Alexander? Do you know where my shirt is? I can’t see it anywhere.”

Alec laughed as he walked around the couch and moved the throw cushions around. “You better find it!”

“What do you mean ‘I better find it’?! You’re the one who threw it somewhere!”

Alec groaned. “I’ll find it when you drop me back tomorrow morning. Just go upstairs and borrow one of mine- but I better get it back!”

Magnus crossed his arms as he ran to the bottom of the stairs. “Hypocrite! You keep stealing my rings! I’ve lost like four to you! I wouldn’t worry, anyway. We don’t exactly have the same style.”

Alec was wrapping up his phone charger when Magnus came back downstairs wearing his zip-up hoodie. He looked up for a second before turning back to his bag. “You’ll be boiling in that!”

Magnus laughed as he flapped the sleeves which hung down over his hands. He walked up behind Alec and curled his arms around Alec’s waist. “It’s only until we get to mine. I can take it off then...” He looked down for a second as Alec finished zipping up his bag. His phone pinged and he pulled it from his pocket to read the text. Magnus slid his arms up Alec’s front, pouting when Alec continued looking at the screen, pulling his arms away again. “Or zip it down a bit. I guess I am pretty hot. I’ve got nothing on underneath it though. Just thought I’d tell you...”

“Mmhmm?”

Magnus hit his sleeve across Alec’s butt and jumped on his back, wrapping his legs around Alec’s waist as he laughed. “Pay attention to me!”

Alec chuckled as he continued walking and sorting things out with Magnus over his back. “Okay, clingy! I was going to get my house keys so we could go but you can come with me if you insist!”

Alec strolled over to the kitchen door, slightly slower with the added weight. Magnus had his arms around Alec’s neck and kissed under his jaw, making Alec stop; shivering and loosening his grip on Magnus’ legs.

“Hurry up then, Alexander!”

Alec grabbed his keys while still trying to hold Magnus up. “Right I think that’s everything.”

Magnus stayed put and nestled into Alec’s neck. “Can’t I just stay here?”

“Nope. Come on, jump down.” Magnus slid off Alec’s shoulders and pouted as Alec went out of the room. He walked back in with his full rucksack, slinging it over his shoulder. He had Magnus’ bag in his hand and held it out. “We should probably go now. Fish to feed and we have to decide what we’re going to have for dinner.”

Magnus spoke grumpily as he took the bag. “I fed Fish this morning actually. Can we just get chinese or something? I don’t feel like cooking.”

“You feeling okay?” Alec took Magnus’ hand as he led him to the door, turning to face him as they walked.

“I’m fine.”

Alec jabbed Magnus in the ribs. “You’re grumpy because we had to take Honey back.” He let go of Magnus’ hand, putting his arm around Magnus’ neck, and kissed his head. “Don’t worry. We won’t have to after tomorrow, will we?” Magnus finally smiled as they walked out and Alec turned to lock up the door.

“Guess not. It doesn’t feel real in a way. Like I can’t believe it’s actually happening. We’re literally counting down the hours now.”

Alec grinned and took Magnus’ hand again. The car was pulled up over the road and their arms swung as they walked. “I know! Not long to go!!”

***  

Robert laughed as he held Maryse’s hand. They’d found some time to have some peace and quiet while the kids went to the pool. It would take a few hours to get home the next day so they were planning to be leaving by six the following morning. The boys would complain but they could sleep in the car on the way. Since this was the last day, Robert and Maryse were making the most of the time they had before everything went back to being crazy again. It was nice to be a couple instead of just ‘Mom and Dad,’ for a little while.

Robert chuckled as they walked through the gardens, remembering the pink rose in the middle of the table when they had met. How he always brought them when Maryse needed cheering up. How he’d been so excited when Max was born and had accidently bought white ones instead.

“Soo… Not long to go now- Until we’re back. You get to see your baby again.”

Maryse laughed. “Yes, my eldest baby. I’ll finally be able to relax when I see he’s okay. I know he’s texted but it’s not the same. It’ll be nice to see Magnus, too. No way am I letting them think they’ve got away with this though.”

Robert chuckled and shook his head. They approached a bench on the edge of the lawn and sat down together. “Two teenage boys. Hate to see what state the house will be in. Do you think they’ve cooked or cleaned everything this weekend? Probably having the time of their lives.”

Maryse rolled her eyes and laughed. “The trash bin is probably filled with pizza boxes. I guess I’ll have a load of washing to do tomorrow, as well. ”

“Yep. No matter how old they get, I think they’ll always have washing or cleaning for us to sort out. They’re still our little children. The Lightwood Clan.”

“It’s okay. They’ll get their fill when they have their own children.” Maryse licked her lips. “Robert...When the doctor said about Alec not having children. Do you think that upset him more than he let on?”

Robert took her hands. This had taken a bit of a darker turn. “Well, of course, it’s a lot to take. There’s no absolute guarantee anyway. There’s scientific developments all the time and just because someone has news like that, it doesn’t always mean they won’t have children. You hear miracle stories all the time. Think about it. We wanted a bigger family and had Jace. Not long after, we found out you were pregnant with Max. These things aren’t planned but sometimes life takes a different turn. There’s always other options for him anyway but let’s just stay in the moment. These conversations can be crossed when we come to it.”

Maryse smiled. “Yes, whatever happens, Alec knows how loved he is. He’ll always have us to support him. I know it’s way off but if him and Magnus stay together, maybe they’ll adopt.”

Robert brushed her face with his thumb. “See? Positives. They’ve been through so much already. I don’t think there’s anything they can’t do if they set their minds to it.”

***

Because Magnus had school the next day, the two of them decided that it would be better to spend the night at Magnus’. He was taking the car, so they could get up early and he could drop Alec home before his family got back. 

Alec had suggested that they stop to buy some food on the way home for the night, even though they weren’t planning on cooking. Magnus’ father would probably be hungry when he got back the next morning and there was nothing in the house. He had a few different places to drive between with the company car and was apparently very busy but Magnus still couldn’t exactly explain to Alec what it was that his father did.

Magnus unlocked the front door and Alec strolled in behind him. He still wasn’t used to being there. He wondered if he’d miss being in his own bed. But bearing that in mind, Magnus had been okay at his, so he’d have to learn to be. He’d get used to it eventually though. It might take some explaining to his siblings, particularly Max, that he might be spending some nights away; but that didn’t mean he loved them any less. He was dreading all of it, particularly with his parents, but even if it caused arguments, it was something that needed to be done. Him and Magnus were together now, and adults. It was time they started being treated like them. He was willing to fight with them for his own happiness if that’s what it took.

“You can chuck your stuff wherever you want it. I can tell you now, if my Mama was here, I don’t think the house would look like this. There’d always be food in the fridge and flowers on the table. At least I think there would be. You can totally tell that it’s just two guys living here.”

Alec copied Magnus, pulling off his shoes and gently setting them down by the front door. It was nice to hear him talk about her, but he didn’t get how Magnus was able to talk so openly about his mother without getting upset. He knew she’d never been there physically but Alec thought to himself that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to passively talk about his mom if anything ever happened to her. “You mind if I use your bathroom?”

Magnus smiled as he walked into the kitchen area with the shopping bags in his hands..

“Not at all, sweetie. You don’t have to ask, you know?” He pointed across the living area. “There’s one over there. Around the corner.”

Alec nodded and wandered off slowly, his feet making little noises over the laminate flooring.

Magnus turned back to the fridge and started putting the stuff away. They’d bought some snacks and ice cream so they could watch a movie later. Magnus had told Alec all about his favourite childhood movies and after a lot of whining on Alec’s’ part and adorable blushing on Magnus’, Alec had worn Magnus down and persuaded him to let them watch one of them later.

Magnus had put nearly everything away by the time he heard Alec’s feet pattering over the floor. He was reading through the chinese food menu on the fridge when Alec placed his hands on his hips from behind, kissing under Magnus’ jaw. Magnus grinned and lifted his chin. He didn’t know where this had come from but he wasn’t one to question it. Things were starting to shift between them and for the first time, this didn’t feel necessary because they were alone. It felt necessary because it felt good and they just wanted to be together and have fun.

“Can I help you with something, Mr Lightwood?”

Alec grumbled into his ear. “You tell me.” He traced three feather light kisses up Magnus’ neck. Magnus shivered and tilted his head, exposing his neck. They’d learned so much about each other over the past few days and he felt his knees weakening as he sighed and Alec kissed exactly the right spot.

“Mmm. That feels good.”

Alec tried not to grin as he spoke in a husky voice. “It does? What about this then?” Alec slid his hands around Magnus’ waist, running them flat over the front of Magnus’ thighs. Magnus moaned and put his arms around Alec’s neck, playing with Alec’s hair at the nape of his neck. Alec’s nails scratched against Magnus’ pants as he ran his tongue over the side of Magnus’ neck in long strokes.

Magnus’ voice shook. “That feels even better.”

Alec pulled his hands up slightly and dipped his fingers below the hem of Magnus’ boxers. He kissed under Magnus’ jaw again and wondered how in the space of a few minutes, he’d gone from walking through the hallway to seeing Magnus putting their shopping away and had just melted with overwhelming love from the sight of him.

Magnus grinned and turned around in Alec’s arms as he spoke. “Okay then. What about this?”

Magnus went up on his tiptoes and grabbed the back of Alec’s neck, crashing their lips together. He vaguely remembered in the back of his head that he had ice cream to be putting away but found that he couldn’t care less. Their lips locked together, over and over again, as they both groaned and the hoodie that Magnus was wearing was quickly chucked to the floor. Before they knew it, Magnus was pushing Alec across the living area with his hand fisted in Alec’s shirt, Alec no longer having any worries about sleeping in Magnus’ bed as his own top was pulled off and thrown across the room somewhere.

Magnus crashed down on the couch and pulled Alec on top of him. Alec gasped against his mouth as Magnus’ hands went down the back of his pants, kneading as Alec grabbed at the back of Magnus’ head. Alec sat up for a second and lay back at the other end of the couch. Magnus pounced on him, undoing the zip on Alec’s pants, laughing and working them down low enough for Alec to kick them off. Forever in their fight for dominance, Alec pushed Magnus over, making him fall flat on his back. Magnus bit his lip as Alec kissed his neck and only registered any movement when his own pants were chucked over his head.

Magnus gasped as Alec sucked at the base of his neck. “You wanna go to my room?”

Alec shook his head. “No time. I’m taking you here. I was doing a good job before I fell asleep last night. I’m finishing what I started.”

Magnus tilted his head back and groaned as Alec’s hand went down the front of his boxers. “Mmm- So authoritative.”

Magnus groaned as he parted his knees and Alec pulled his hand out, rocking against him. The friction and tight pressure was almost unbearable between them. Something animalistic inside Magnus was screaming that Alec on top of him and crashing their hips together wasn’t enough and that he wanted more. There were too many layers between them.

Alec slid his tongue along Magnus’ own, grabbing his hair and lowering himself further to deepen the kiss. Magnus moaned as Alec pinned him, sliding their tongues together. Magnus lifted his hips, trying to gain some control as Alec pushed him down again.

He licked and sucked at Alec’s neck; the only control Alec would give him. Magnus waist was being rubbed with a perfect rhythm and he’d become a whimpering mess under the heat and friction of Alec’s body. Some part of him told himself that this shouldn’t be happening here, they had boundaries and rules in the house for a reason, but the feeling was too euphoric to encourage him to stop. He gasped as he felt Alec’s hand glide back into his shorts. His neck stung as Alec bit his skin and his body hummed with wound up energy that he couldn’t release. He’d never considered before that pain could feel so good.

Before long, Magnus was a mess of moans and groans, thrusting his hips up with each stroke of Alec’s hand. He gasped again, feeling a familiar heaviness in his shorts. “Alexander- Can you go get-”     

Alec shook his head, pulling his hand out.

“Nope. Come in your shorts.”

Magnus eyes went wide as Alec got up, pulling him up by his shoulders and chucking him so he was lying in the other direction. Alec threw himself over Magnus as he parted his knees again, Alec’s hips moving quicker and quicker as they crashed together. At the last second, as Magnus threw his head back, Alec slid his hand back down the front of Magnus’ boxers, grabbing him in his hand and twisting with quick strokes. Warmth filled Alec’s hand and soaked the front of Magnus’ shorts. Magnus’ back was arched and he thrusted with each pump of Alec’s hand, gasping as he rocked his hips. “Ugghhh. Alexander-”

Alec purred. “Tell me how good it feels.”

Magnus nodded with his head back, hot waves crashing over him. “Mmmm- So good! Keep going!”

In one quick motion, Alec pulled Magnus’ shorts down his thighs and chucked them to the side, relishing in the literal and metaphorical mess he’d made of him. Alec pinned Magnus’ knees up to his shoulders and all Magnus could do was lay there and take in the sensations as Alec licked up the side of his length, his thighs, his stomach. Alec disappeared for a second and Magnus nearly screamed for him to come back. Alec returned with the bottle of lubricant that he’d put into his bag, coating his fingers. “Lie back and shut up.”

Alec lay back over Magnus, kissing him with everything he had. Magnus felt his face going warm as Alec slid his over his hole and slipped it inside. This was a whole new Alec than the one he knew. He couldn’t exactly say that he wasn’t looking forward to getting to know him a little better. Alec swept his finger around as Magnus groaned, his eyes going back in his head. “You like that?” Magnus nodded with his head back. “What about this?” Magnus jumped as Alec pulled his hand away, roughly sliding two of his fingers inside him. Alec grinned at Magnus’ open mouthed expressions. “Get on your hands and knees.”

Magnus did as he was told and moaned at the feeling of Alec’s hands running down his sides and over his waist. He paused for a second and Alec spoke as he stopped moving himself. “Am I doing something wrong?”

Magnus shook his head. “No such thing. Alec, we have to go to my room or go get the condoms, okay? I know you like skin to skin but I can’t do this on my own couch.”

Alec nodded and moved away. Magnus turned around and sat back on his knees, wondering if he’d ruined the moment. He looked confused for a second when Alec walked around his front and put his arms around his neck. Magnus got what Alec was doing and grinned against Alec’s mouth, wrapping his legs around Alec’s waist so he could carry him upstairs. They giggled against each other’s mouths as their lips crashed together hungrily. Just before they reached the stairs, with Magnus wrapped around Alec and biting his lip, Alec tossed Magnus up slightly, holding Magnus’ butt up with one arm as he grabbed Magnus’ satchel with the other, slinging it over his shoulder.

***

“Simonnn sayyys… Touch your toes!!”

Clary scowled as she leaned over to scratch her foot with her pencil. It was propped up on a cushion that was placed on the coffee table. “Simon, this cast is driving. Me. Insane. I swear to God, if you make one more ‘Simon says’ joke at me-”

Simon laughed. “Simonnn saysss: Stamp your feet! Get it!? Because you’re mad at me? Not because you actually can-” Simon puffed out his cheeks as Clary crossed her arms at him. “Tough crowd.” He poked her in the back. “Claryyyy? Come on, you can't stay mad at me..”

“Why not?! I’m fed up of being stuck inside. I have to have help to do anything and Jace won’t text me back...”

Simon moved over on the couch, putting his arm over Clary’s shoulder. “Hey. I’m sorry. Jace is probably just caught up with family stuff. We’ll see them tomorrow in school anyway.”

“Sorry. I’m just fed up.” Clary nodded.

“I know, Fray. It won’t be long until it’s off anyway. Then you’ll be free to go wherever you want.”

Clary bumped their heads together. “Free enough to come to the candy store for gummy bears?”

Simon laughed. “I’ll have to think about it.”

***

When they reached the bathroom, Alec set Magnus down so that he was standing, their bodies still pressed firmly together. Alec chucked the satchel down by the door, pulling out the silicone lubricant and a condom. Magnus’ hands trailed down Alec’s back, grabbing his butt in his hands as they kissed passionately. The tension Alec was feeling in his own body was a constant reminder of how much he wanted this between them. He knew Magnus felt it too.

Magnus broke away and turned on the shower over the bath. He listened for the ever familiar crinkle of Alec opening the packet that was on the counter, followed by the click from the bottle that they’d bought earlier..

After testing the water temperature with his hand, Magnus jumped in. He let the steaming water rush over him and rolled his head back as it poured over his head. He had a knot in his neck and worked at it with his thumb, jumping for a second when he felt Alec’s warm hands, gliding over his shoulders and taking care of it for him. Magnus chuckled. “Thanks.” He turned around in Alec’s hold, brushing their lips together. Alec’s hands caught as he moved them to grip Magnus’ hips, the friction of the water and heat between their skin. Alec turned Magnus around again, his hands sliding down Magnus’ inner thighs, making his breath catch.

“Don’t mention it. I love you.”

Magnus smiled, flicking his hair back and blinking water out of his eyes. “I love you too. Are you ready?”

Alec chuckled as his hands moved slowly over Magnus' body, making him roll his head back and moan quietly. Magnus’ back was pressed against Alec’s front and he could feel everything as Alec dug into him. “Funny. I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Alec moved away for a second. He’d put the bottle of lubricant on the edge of the bath. He coated his fingers as Magnus put his hands flat against the wall.

“Alexander, if we don’t do this now, I may just go out the window. Also, the blinds are broken. They don’t go up. So I’m really going to have to put in a lot of effort.”

Alec kissed between Magnus’ shoulder blades before lapping at the water on his neck. Despite the boiling water, he was shivering and his hand shook as it trailed down the line of Magnus’ butt, his other around Magnus’ front.

“I’m all for effort. Sorry I told you to shut up earlier.”

Magnus laughed and then gasped as he felt Alec’s fingers inside him. “Enough of the niceties. It turned me on. Just fuck me already.”

Alec laughed as he pushed Magnus’ knees apart with his foot. Alec put his head next to Magnus’ and as he gasped, lining up and pushing into him, Magnus whimpering at the grunt in his ear. “Mmm...Alexander, faster, faster!”

Alec slid his hips forward again, his own eyes rolling back as he began to feel the tightness around himself. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Magnus shook his head. “You won’t. I promise. I need you inside me. So badly.” Alec pulled his hips back and pushed forward quickly, earning a filthy groan from both of them. Alec slammed back into him again and Magnus tilted his head back, trying not to hold his mouth open in the stream of water. “Ugggh- Ale- this- this is amazing. It feels so good. ” Alec only mumbled back in response, too caught up in the incredible sensations to reply. Magnus panted, taking himself in his hands. Alec slid his hands over Magnus’ waist, placing his hands over the top and pumping quickly with each thrust of his hips. Magnus stuttered. “Oh, Oh! Ale-Alexander-”

Alec moaned in his ear, over the sound of the water and their bodies hitting together. “Ugh, I know. I can feel it. Take your hands away.”

Magnus removed his hands and lifted them over his head, grabbing the back of Alec’s neck and pulling him forward quickly with each thrust as he pushed back against him. Alec took Magnus in his hands, using the friction of the water to his advantage as he moved his hands quickly. Magnus arched his hips back into Alec, his head against Alec’s shoulder as he climaxed against the tiles. Parts of him ached in a way that he didn’t know they could but it felt so good at the same time.

Magnus’ clenching was enough to tip Alec over the edge. As Magnus thrusted his hips back, over and over again, a garbled moan came from Alec, making him lose control of his body. His own head shot back and Magnus gasped as he felt Alec coming inside of him. Like Magnus had done before, Alec put the last of his energy into drawing out everything he had. When he was breathless and he could no longer feel his legs, he gave one final rub and pulled out.

Magnus gasped with his forehead against the wall for a second. Once Alec had gotten some breath back, he kissed the back of Magnus’ neck and jumped over the bath, sorting himself out and speaking as he panted. “You- you okay?”

Magnus laughed and held his thumb up. “I’m fine. That was so good, Alexander!”

Alec pulled back the shower curtain, a towel over his arm as he held his hand out to Magnus. “I mean, look what I have to work with. Come on then, love. Let’s get dried up.”

Magnus laughed as he took Alec’s hand and climbed over the bath, standing with his mouth open and his hands on his hips. “Love?”

“What? No good?”

Magnus laughed again. “No, it’s fine. It just sounds like we’re an old married couple.”

“You mean we’re not?” Alec put a towel over Magnus’ head and kissed his nose, making him blush while they both tried to catch their breath. Magnus put his arms over Alec’s shoulders, kissing him softly before biting his own lip and looking down. “Magnus? What is it?”

Magnus looked up with glassy eyes. “I have to tell you something…” He breathed in sharply. “I’m so in love with you, Alexander. So much. I have to tell you. It’s like I can’t do anything without thinking of you- and I’m scared because everything goes back to normal tomorrow.”

Alec lifted Magnus chin up as he rubbed the towel over Magnus’ head, breathing in the scent of Magnus and the steam filled room. “Tomorrow is a long way away, okay? No worrying. No being sad. Tomorrow’s just the start. We get Honey and start our new journey. If it helps, I’m really in love with you too.” Magnus laughed. “So badly, Magnus. I don’t think I can live without you. I’m not going to. Ever. You’re stuck with me.”

Magnus laughed. “ I thank God every day that we found each other, Alexander. I’d go through it all again if I could meet you. I would.”

They stayed silent for a moment, drying off. Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead. Now they had calmed down, they were starting to get cold. “Ugh, Magnus?” Magnus looked up and smiled, brushing Alec’s damp hair back. The longer it got, the more relieved he was that Alec was moving on from his illness. He knew himself that you never truly recovered from going through something like that, at least emotionally anyway, but he was glad they were moving towards a bit of normality. “-My clothes are downstairs.”

Magnus grinned, flashing his white teeth. “Annd?”

Alec blushed. “Would you mind going to get them for me? You can just chuck your robe on and I don’t have anything up here to wear.”

“But I quite enjoy watching you walk around with no clothes on-” Magnus pouted, brushing Alec’s side.

“Magnus…”

Magnus rolled his eyes and laughed. “Ugh, fine! I’ll throw your bag up to you.”

***

Izzy laughed as she watched Jace drop a load of things onto the counter by the cash register. “Jace, we’re a couple hours from home and we’ve been gone for two days. I really don’t think you need to be buying Clary souvenirs.”

Jace dug in his wallet and handed a couple of notes over. “We’re going back to the manor house in a minute and I don’t care what you think of me. I want to see Clary’s face when I show her the colouring pencils I found. She’s miserable, being stuck inside, and I want to cheer her up.”

Isabelle shook her head. “OhmyGod, Jace. You’re whipped.”

Jace looked at her, picking up the pencils and keyrings. “I’m what?” Izzy made a whipping sound, motioning with her hand. Jace rolled his eyes. Their parents were waiting for them and he didn’t have time to be listening to Izzy’s nonsense. “Am not. I’m winning Jace points.”

“Jace points? You mean boyfriend points?” Jace stuck his tongue out. “Real mature. Wait until Alec finds out that you’ve bought stuff for Clary and not him.”

Jace crossed his arms as they walked out of the store. “I’m not talking to Alec.”

“Why not?! Whatever he texted you this morning, you’ve been grumpy about it all day. Kiss and make up already. Hang on...Are you being grumpy because of what Alec sent or is it because you’re missing your girrrllfriennnd?”

Jace grumbled. “I’m not kissing Alec, thank you very much.”

“It was a joke-”

“I don’t care- leave that to Magnus. Let’s just go already.”

***

Alec reached out and tried to catch his bag for the third time. “Magnus! Stop messing around! I’ll just find something of yours and come and get it myself!”

Magnus lowered the bag and flexed his left hand. His hand felt odd. Maybe he’d sprained it somehow? Something about standing against walls came to mind. “I don't support this wearing clothes business! ”

He threw the bag again with his right hand, instead of both, and Alec caught it, disappearing from the top of the stairs but still within earshot. “Go order food!”

Magnus shouted back. “What do you want, anyway!”

“Anything! I’m not bothered! I’ll be down in a minute.”

Alec walked quickly, back into Magnus’ room. The weather was still really hot so he just threw on a pair of boxers with his robe open over them. Magnus wouldn't be bothered anyway. He only had a robe on himself.

Alec moved over to the large window behind the bed, pushing half of it open. He grabbed the two towels off the floor and went into the bathroom, folding them over the radiator. He’d always enjoyed domestic little chores at home. It made him feel useful. But something felt even more special when it involved Magnus. It was like a premonition of everything they could have one day when they had their own place.

Alec reached down to his bag, pulling his charger out and unraveling it while he looked for a socket. He crouched down next to the bed and something caught his eye. There was a large case pushed under it and Alec pulled it forward. He unzipped the case slowly as he looked back to the open door for a second. It was obviously some kind of instrument but Magnus had never spoken about playing anything before. Alec couldn’t exactly argue though. He hadn’t told Magnus about himself. He lifted the lid back. Inside was an antique violin. Obviously well used but not recently. The bow had several broken hairs hanging off it and when Alec ran his fingers over the four strings, it was so out of tune that it barely made a sound. It hadn’t been played in a long time.

He was debating if he should ask Magnus about it when he remembered that Magnus was probably wondering where he was. Alec flipped the lid shut and zipped up the case, pushing it back under the bed.

Alec strolled down the stairs and his eyes went wide as he went from walking to jogging across the room. Magnus had been tipping spaghetti into the pot on the stove for some reason but half of it was across the top. The stove wasn’t on and Magnus was leaning over it on his elbows, staring at the glass behind the hob. Alec gently placed a hand on Magnus’ shoulder, making him turn to face him. Alec spoke in a soft voice. A voice that was only reserved for the time that Max accidentally broke his favorite cup or when Izzy had been in a fight with one of her friends and shut herself in her room.

“Hey. Magnus. You okay?”

Magnus turned back to him and nodded slowly. “I...I forgot.”

“What did you forget?” Alec ran his thumb in comforting circles over the base of Magnus’ neck. He guessed this could have been one of those absent seizures Magnus had been going on about. He wasn’t sure. He’d just have to wait until he came round from it. Magnus turned back to the stove. He pouted his bottom lip and his eyes went glassy with tears. Alec’s heart raced in his chest.

“I...I was going to order chinese food. I forgot.” Magnus reached over to the counter and grabbed the empty box, holding it out to Alec. Alec took it gently, setting it down on the counter next to him. He turned around and pulled out one of the chairs from the table behind them. Alec spoke softly, calmly guiding Magnus to sit down, even though his heart was racing. This would probably be the first of many episodes that he would see but he knew for a fact that he’d never be prepared to see Magnus go through any of them. He hadn’t expected this today. It was probably a stupid thought but everything today had been so perfect that he hadn’t thought of anything going wrong.

Magnus took in the sight of the chair and sat down slowly.

“Magnus, I think you might have had a seizure, okay? You’re okay. You’re safe. Just talk to me. Tell me what I can do for you.”

Magnus was coming around and snapped his fingers as he thought to himself. “Can you- can you bring me my satchel?” Alec didn’t want to leave him but knew Magnus kept his medication case in the inside pocket. Alec raced up the stairs without his feet touching the ground, living off pure adrenaline until he got back to Magnus and put it on the table. Magnus pulled out his case of daily medication and a small notebook that was in the front pocket. He clicked his fingers and spoke groggily before rubbing his eyes. “Can you bring me a pen and a glass of water?”

Magnus had chucked his key onto the little table by the door when they came in. Alec remembered there were two pens in the pot there so he rushed back to it without taking his eyes off Magnus. Again, without looking away, he reached into the cupboard next to the stove and pulled out a glass, filling it up at the sink. He turned back to the table and set them down quietly, placing a reassuring hand on Magnus’ shoulder.

Magnus picked up the pen and flicked through the pages off the notebook. Alec wondered what the hell he was doing but remained silent. Magnus set the notebook down on its face and pulled his bag over, taking out a box of medication that Alec hadn’t seen before. He took a tablet out of the blister pack and slid the box over to Alec. “You think I had a seizure?”

Alec nodded, trying not to cry. He rubbed at his nose. “Yes.”

Magnus nodded with his lip pouted. “Was I shaking? Did you find me on the floor or anything?”

Alec took a deep breath and shook his head. “No, you- you were leaning over the stove. It wasn’t on, thank God...Shit, that scared me, Magnus. I don’t know what you were doing.”

Magnus swallowed the tablet and passed the box to Alec while he drank, tapping it as Alec looked at it. He set the glass down. “Remind me to take one of these if it happens. I wouldn’t usually but I had a headache earlier. I might have to go to the doctors and get them to change my medication if it happens again. I usually don’t bother taking anything after because I don’t know if it’s happened but it might be a good idea if you think you saw me have one. I’m sorry for scaring you...”

Alec leaned over Magnus and hugged him tightly. Magnus rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. “Don’t apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. I love you and I’m here for you, okay? We’ll get through it together. I’m just glad that you’re alright now.”

Alec broke away and kissed Magnus’ forehead.

Magnus looked back to the notebook, turning it over. He moved over to the edge of the chair and patted for Alec to sit next to him. Alec sat down, putting his arm over the back of the chair as Magnus spoke quietly, showing him the pages. “If I know one happens, I’m supposed to write it down. They gave me this when I left the hospital.” Alec flicked through a few pages and stopped. He didn’t really want to see proof of what Magnus had been through. Not because he didn’t care, but because it was too upsetting for him at the moment. There were far too many pages written on. Magnus didn’t deserve any of this. No one deserved to live with that kind of fear. Magnus looked at the clock on the wall and recorded the time. He noted that he’d had a headache that morning and that he’d had an ‘Absent seizure’ as well as the medication he had taken and the dose. Magnus recorded that he’d had numbness in his left arm, which he hadn’t mentioned. Alec watched carefully, hoping that he would never have to do this for Magnus, even though something deep down told him that he would.

Magnus closed the notebook and put it into his bag with the case of his medications. A paper had fallen out and Alec picked it up. “What’s this?”

Magnus glanced over and carried on drinking his water. “A- a  list of things I’m supposed to do, or not do- to- to stop myself having a seizure. It’s a general one that they give to everyone though. Not all the triggers are ones that I have.”

“This is all my fault.”

Magnus stood up and rubbed his head as Alec looked over the paper. “What are you on about? How is any of this your fault?”

“It says you’re supposed to have regular sleeping hours. I kept you aw-” Alec held out the paper. 

Magnus rushed over, taking the paper from Alec. “No. Don’t- don’t you dare. Everything between us has been just as much my choice as it has been yours. I know how I’m supposed to look after myself and I- I haven’t been. It was one small episode, Alexander. Like I said, it’s probably happened before anyway and you’re only aware of it now.”

Alec hung his head and looked up. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Magnus leaned with his knee on the chair and kissed Alec softly, his thumb brushing over Alec’s cheek. “I promise, okay? I’m just a bit tired though. Do you mind if I go lie down for a bit? You can watch the TV or my laptop is on the couch.” Magnus blushed. “My password is ‘Alexander’ if you want to use it. If you want to make something or order food, I’ll have some when I wake up. I put the shopping away but you should find everything alright. There’s takeout menus on the fridge but I don’t really feel like chinese now so maybe pizza if you don’t want to cook.”

Alec nodded, standing up. “Can I have a hug?”

Magnus moved around the chair and went into Alec’s arms. It still caught him off guard how perfectly they fit together. Like two puzzle pieces that needed to find each other. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, finally allowing Alec to hold him up. Alec curled his arms around Magnus’ waist, pulling him close with a promise that he would always stand by him and protect him. They both closed their eyes, letting the tension in their bodies ease. It was always like this. Just being close, together, was sometimes enough to make everything in the world okay again.

Magnus broke away finally, kissing Alec’s cheek but keeping their faces together as Alec’s hands rested on his waist. “I love you, Alexander.”

Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead and then brushed his hair back, still flat from the shower. Finally, he took Magnus’ hand in his own two. “I love you too. Get some sleep, okay? I’ll come and check on you in a bit.”

Magnus smiled and nodded, brushing Alec’s cheek as he walked past to move around the table. Alec carried on looking ahead, at the picture on the wall in front of him. He listened to the sound of Magnus’ footsteps and by the time he turned around, Magnus had disappeared up the spiral staircase.

***

Lily smiled as Asmodeus watched her eat from her bowl of soup. She was tucked up in bed with her blanket over her waist. “You didn’t have to make this for me.”

Asmodeus sat on the edge of the bed and wrung out a cloth that was in a bowl on the bed stand. “Nonsense. You’re sick. Besides, it’s nice to be taking care of someone. Magnus is like a goldfish. I feed him but he kind of just takes care of himself.”

Lily snorted, nearly dropping her spoon. “That’s- one way to put it.” She sniffled. “Are you sure you don’t want to ring him?”

Asmodeus dabbed the cloth on her forehead. “You’re still burning up-”

“Aaas-”

“He’s fine, Blossom. He’s text you to let you know he’s fine and I’ll just speak with him when I get back. Now come on, eat some more. I’m going to get you something to try and bring your fever down.”

Lily held the bowl out, she’d eaten a fair amount but didn’t want any more. Asmodeus took the bowl in one hand, putting his other hand on her head as he did it. “Thank you for taking care of me. You’re a good friend.”

Asmodeus smiled. “That’s what friends are for. Try and get some sleep, okay? I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

Asmodeus got up and moved towards the door, hovering in the door frame and looking back.

“As?” Lily muttered under her breath, facing away.

“Yeah?”

“Love you.”

Asmodeus smiled and chuckled. “Love you too, Lil.”

***

About an hour and a half later, Alec turned his head from where he was sitting on the couch. The TV was on with some nature program and he had Magnus’ laptop open on his lap. He’d got everything done that he had wanted to and had checked Magnus about five times. He didn’t use social media so he’d been looking up a bit online about how to comfort a loved one after illness.

Alec looked up as Magnus started coming down the stairs. He was wearing a black tank top and boxer shorts. He’d put on something light to sleep in because the weather was still hot and muggy. Alec listened at the sound of Magnus’ feet stopping and grinned with his back to him. Alec had changed into short pyjamas and had thrown his robe over the top.

“What’s all this?”

Using a clever combination of the kitchen chairs, the table, and some string he found in the kitchen drawer, Alec had gathered a load of sheets from the cupboard upstairs and made a fort. Magnus smiled as he took it in, the contraption taking up a huge section of the room. Alec had filled it with quilts and pillows and grinned as he set the laptop down on the couch. He got up and took Magnus’ hand, leading him over to it..

“It’s cool, huh? I wanted to make tonight special for you. Me and my siblings used to make them when we were younger. Used to drive our parents mad. I made dinner for us and I thought we could watch a movie on the laptop later or we could just talk. Look- this is the best bit.” Alec held onto Magnus’ hand as he went to switch off the lights. Through the sheets, Magnus could see that Alec had strung up electric lights inside. The ones from the cupboard under the sink.

Magnus let out a breath. “Alexander, this is incredible.”

Alec grinned. “Go on in! ...Are you ready to have food?” Alec lifted one of the sheets and Magnus went inside. His hands were against his face and it hurt from grinning. Alec had really pulled out all the stops.

“Sure. What did you make?”

Alec disappeared for a second and came back with a big bowl in his hands. “Tagliatelle carbonara. I hope you like it. I saw the recipe on your fridge-”

Magnus laughed.  “Of course! I like it! Are we eating from the bowl? Father always makes me eat at the table so this is new.”

Alec walked in and lay down next to Magnus, handing him one of the two forks. “Yep. Less washing up and I thought it would be fun.”

Alec put the bowl between them and Magnus tried not to laugh as Alec tried to pick it up. Magnus turned the fork around effortlessly and ate a mouthful before he spoke. “This is really good.” Alec was stabbing at the bowl, getting frustrated at trying to support the bowl with one hand and pick up the pasta with the other. “Come here.” Magnus twirled his fork around and fed the forkful of pasta to Alec. Alec dropped his own fork into the bowl as he ate it and grinned. His eyes lowered when Magnus didn’t react.

“What is it?”

Magnus laughed. “You’ve got sauce on your cheek.”

Alec ran his thumb over the wrong side. “Did I get it?”

Magnus laughed again while he blushed, thankful that Alec couldn’t see him in the dim light. He dropped his fork into the bowl and leaned over, kissing Alec’s cheek softly. He broke away and licked his lips, his hand against the side of Alec’s neck. “I got it.”

Alec reached into the bowl and laughed as he dotted some of the sauce onto his nose. “Any more?”

Magnus leaned over Alec again, kissing the end of his nose and speaking quietly. “I got it.”

Alec tapped inside the bowl and touched it to his lips. Magnus set the bowl down on the floor, on his other side, and moved so he was sitting in Alec’s lap. He wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck and brought his mouth close enough that Alec could feel the warmth of his breath. “I got it.”

Alec’s breath caught in his chest as Magnus rested his arms over his shoulders. Magnus kissed him slowly, his tongue parting Alec’s lips as their noses brushed against each other’s. Magnus moved over and Alec lay down, tapping the pillow his head was on, gesturing for Magnus to lie down next to him. Magnus adjusted the pillow and looked into Alec’s eyes, running his hand over Alec’s silky soft hair. Alec’s hand ran down Magnus’ side.

“I love you, Alexander. Thank you for doing this.”

Alec smiled. “I love you too but I’m not done yet.”

“You’re not?”

Alec laughed and shook his head, rubbing his nose against Magnus’. “You’ll find that I’m full of surprises tonight.” Magnus raised his eyebrows as Alec sat up and held out his hand.He laughed, trailing behind as Alec pulled his hand and guided him out of the fort. “Follow me. Come on Magnus! Oh, no, wait a sec!”

Magnus laughed  again as Alec ran across the room and back. “You just told me to wait and now you’re telling me to hurry up?!”

“Close your eyes!”

Magnus put his hands over his face, laughing when he tried to keep his eyes shut and Alec tried to guide his boyfriend’s arms into the hoodie that he had borrowed earlier. “What are you doing-”

“Eyes shut!”

“Why does this feel familiar?”

Alec laughed and Magnus felt the muggy air as Alec opened the double doors. The garden was enclosed from all sides but had a little patio with a barbeque, leading to a large expanse of grass. Trees swayed at the bottom of the garden, anticipating the rain from the darkening sky.

“I wanted to do something for you. I had a dream once where you said you wanted to string up lights in your backyard and slow dance under the stars. I wanted to do that for you. Now I know there aren’t actually that many stars yet-” 

Magnus pouted. “Alexander!”

“Okay, you can look now.”

Magnus brought his hands away and Alec linked their fingers. Alec grinned as Magnus took in the sight of the back garden. The stars were like a thousand fireflies, glistening in the inky blue of the early evening sky. The white lanterns in the trees had been lit and their footsteps made no sound as they walked barefoot over the grass, hand in hand.

Alec moved away for a second and pulled his phone from the pocket of his robe. He set it to a slow, gentle piece of music and put it back, pulling Magnus towards him as Magnus spoke. “Now, I can’t promise you that I’m the best dancer, Alexander, but you said earlier that you were all for effort, so here I am.”

Alec lifted Magnus’ arm, twirling him around and bringing him close to his own chest. They touched their heads together as they moved gently to the music, one arm each around the other’s back and their other hands clasped to the side. Magnus sighed and turned his head, resting it against Alec’s shoulder. For so long, he’d been in a battle with himself. Not only to survive but to live well. It was only in this moment that he realised he hadn’t been living. Alec had come along with his hazel eyes and sweet smile, waking him up from his deep sleep. He’d been a beautiful gift. All silver and clean cut lines. Turning Magnus’ world upside down and putting it all back together at once.

Alec swayed to the music. He’d never been much for dancing. That was more Izzy than him but as Magnus pressed his lips to Alec’s shoulder, with his arms wrapped around his neck, Alec thought to himself of a fear that had grown inside him of what he would be willing to do to keep Magnus safe. He placed his hands over Magnus’ lower back, the rain starting to fall in dots around them. It was beautiful, in a way, but it felt unreal. Like someone as perfect and amazing as Magnus couldn’t truly exist. Alec felt that if he made any sudden movements, he would wake up as his sixteen year old self at the kitchen table, wondering where his prince had disappeared to. There was a rumble above them, drowning out the music. Magnus laughed as rain poured over them and Alec spoke. “Magnus, I better get you in, in case there’s any lightning.”

Magnus shook his head, pulling Alec’s arm and running with him to the minimal shelter of the trees at the bottom of the garden. “We haven’t seen any yet. I just want to watch the rain with you.” Magnus jumped in the wet grass while he laughed, making Alec crease up.

“You’re certifiably insane, you know that? You’re actually crazy.”

Magnus kicked at the water in his bare feet, still pulling Alec behind him, shouting to compete with the torrent of rain around them. “I’m not crazy! I’m in love! There’s a difference! I want to stand in the rain with my boyfriend!! Haven’t you always dreamed of something like this?!”

Alec grinned as Magnus pulled him over to the trunk of one of the trees, shouting back against the rumble of thunder. “I’ve always dreamed of meeting someone like you! And I actually don’t think there’s much difference! I guess that makes me insane too!”

The sky broke open and the two young men watched as the rain fell around them. It ran in beads of glass, sliding over branches and dropping down. Magnus held out his hand that wasn’t linked with Alec’s. “I don’t understand it!”

Alec turned to him, laughing as the rain fell down his face. “Understand what?!”

“Why people hate rain! Every living creature on earth needs water to survive. It’s just as important as sunlight!” Magnus brushed a droplet from Alec’s face. “Without rain, we wouldn’t have flowers! There’s a balance, Alexander!. You need a storm to appreciate when the sun shines!”

Alec shook his head. “How on earth did I ever find someone like you!? It’s like a fairytale! People my age don’t get to find someone like this- get to have things like this. Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re real! You’re like a thought that I’ve just dreamed up!”

Magnus went up on his tiptoes, brushing his lips against Alec’s and tasting the rain; No longer shouting over the rain as they were close enough to hear each other. “I could do this forever and ever.”

Alec kissed Magnus with a little more pressure, his hands running over the sides of Magnus’ soaked top, thankful that despite the rain, the weather was still so warm. “Forever is a very long time, Magnus.”

Magnus shook his head and laughed, running his hand through Alec’s wet hair. “Not when I’m with you. I want every second I can get.”

The rain was slowing down, the evening sun throwing amber light through the garden and catching on each drop that fell from the branches.

Alec smiled. “Promise that to me then. I’m not saying we just abandon everyone and run off into the sunset but- it’s just- I want to spend every minute with you that I can. Promise me through everything that happens- good and bad- that we stick together and just be there for eachother. There will NEVER be anyone else for me but you, Magnus. I want every second with you that I can get.”

Magnus nodded, his hands on Alec’s face as they both laughed, blinking rain from their eyes. “Oh, Alexander. I promise you! I promise with everything I have! I don’t care how it happens, as long as I’m with you. Let’s get married one day and have a beautiful house, children, however we get there. I know we’re young but this isn’t just wishful thinking, You are my soulmate. I promise you that I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted, okay? Everything you’ve ever wanted, Alexander. Name it and it’s yours. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve your happily ever after. I’m going to look after you, okay? I’ll build a life for us.”

Alec kissed him softly and they broke apart. Magnus shivered with his arms wrapped around Alec’s waist. “Magnus, come on. Neither of us should be getting cold. Let’s go inside.”

Magnus held his hand out to Alec, turning as Alec darted around him. “Alecc? What are you-” He laughed as Alec swept him into his arms. “Alec! You can’t! You’ll fall!” Alec jumped, tossing Magnus in his arms as he screeched, running with him through the garden and splashing through the flooded grass. Alec went to speak and Magnus interrupted him.”-And don’t you dare put a cheesy joke in about falling for me!

***

“I know. Yeah- Yeah, I was out. Mmmhmm. Yep.”

Izzy barged into the room, pulling Max behind her. “Jace! You were supposed to be watching him while I called Simon from outside! I don’t get signal here! We can’t all have nice phones like yours!”

“Hang on, Angel. Oh please, I earned the money for my phone!”

“By washing desperate girls’ cars!”

Jace spoke upside down, hanging off the bed. “He can look after himself. He’s like eight-”

“I’m seven…” Max held his hand up.

“Whatever.” Jace put his phone back to his ear, rolling his eyes at the upside down view of Izzy with her arms crossed. “I’m. On. The. Phone. Whatdoyouwant?! 

“He keeps asking me questions. Watch him for me.”

“No way! Give him to Mom and Dad if you’re so desperate to talk with the nerdy jackass.”

“Stop calling him that! Their door was locked. God knows why because I saw them back here earlier.”

Jace sighed and rubbed his face, lying back on his bed. “Yeah, yeah- I know! No you are! Oh, for fuck sake, Iz!” Izzy rushed to put her hands over Max’s ears. ”Leave me alone! They’ve probably just gone out somewhere. They never get time away from us kids and are probably taking advantage of it. They probably just lost track of time. You’re a God-Awful babysitter, Iz, so they won’t be gone long.”

Max threw himself down on the other bed, his face on the pillow.

“No I’m not! I’m a great babysitter!”

“THEN. GO. BABYSIT!”

Izzy grabbed Max’s hand, dragging him away. “Fine! I will! Come on, Max. Let’s go get facials!”

“But I don’t want-”

“I don’t care! Facials! Now!”

***

Back in the fort and changed into dry pyjamas, Magnus smiled as he nestled into Alec’s side. They’d dried off together upstairs and were sipping hot chocolate that Alec had made. Magnus lifted his teaspoon out and licked the marshmallow off the end. “This is so good. It’s like chocolate milk but you put marshmallows in it.”

Alec shifted slightly, adjusting his arm that was over Magnus’ shoulder. Their feet brushed together under the quilt. “This’ll warm you up. Hang on...Surely, you’re not telling me that you’ve never had hot chocolate before..?”

Magnus laughed, burying his head under Alec’s arm. “I might have at Aunt Lily’s when I was younger but Father makes something else. I bet my buttons that you’ve never even heard of it.”

“Try me.” Alec drained his mug and set it down.

Magnus smiled. “Bir Pletok.”

Alec stared at him. “Was that a cough?”

Magnus punched him in the shoulder. “Ruuuude! No it wasn’t!” He counted on his fingers. “It’s made from ginger, lemongrass, cardamoms, cinnamon, sappan wood, and sugar.”

“Oh so a whole weekly food shop then? I don’t even know what half of those are!”

Magnus shook his mug of hot chocolate before finishing it off. “It’s more like spiced tea. Sweet. I’ll make it for you sometime.”

“Shit! I forgot! Pass me your mug!” Alec slapped his hand against his forehead.

Magnus handed it over. “What is it?”

“I made something for you earlier because: A) You weren’t feeling great and B) Because I’m adorable and I thought you’d like it.” Magnus creased an eyebrow as Alec disappeared out of the fort, the blanket door falling down behind him.

“Be careful! Turn on the lights if you have to!”

Magnus picked his phone up from the side, checking the time and sending a quick text to Lily to let her know that he was okay. He hated that he couldn’t message his dad but he wouldn’t be in range, even if he had his phone charged, which he usually didn’t.

Magnus saw Alec’s shadow returning and raced to the front of the fort, grinning as he stuck his head out. “Password?”

Alec laughed. “What? Are you five!?”

Magnus smirked. “You wouldn’t think that if I told you what the password was.”

Alec crouched down, holding something in both hands behind his back. He leaned into Magnus, kissing him and parting Magnus’ lips with his tongue.

“Is that good enough?”

Magnus laughed and pulled his head back inside. “Yeah. That’ll work.”

Magnus tucked his phone under his pillow as Alec walked forward. He had to crouch slightly. “I cant promise you it’s the best but I found the recipe on your fridge. It won’t be as good as yours-”

Magnus’ eyes teared up as he put his hand over his mouth. Alec showed him the plate of lemon cake, a wide grin across his face. “You did that for me? Although you should know that I’m not massively hungry right now -”

Alec sat down. He put one arm over Magnus’ shoulder, with the plate in his hand. Magnus’ fingers clutched at Alec’s shirt as they kissed, Alec tilting the plate and nearly dropping it on the quilt. Magnus took the plate gently, taking in the delicate scent of lemon from the icing.

Alec watched excitedly. “I don’t care. You’ve not eaten anything all day… I’ll force feed you if I have to. You have to eat and we didn’t have much for dinner. I’ll make you something else later, if you want, but I just wanted you to try it. Now don’t get your hopes up massively high because I haven’t made it-” Magnus took a bite and shook his head. “Oh, is it no good? I wanted you to have first taste but-”

Magnus set the plate down, pouting his lip. He looked up at Alec and smiled. “It’s perfect.”

Alec looked at the plate in Magnus' hands and grinned. “It is?”

Magnus smiled, putting the plate on his lap. “It is. It’s so good but I don’t want to eat much if we’re going to have something else. I don’t have much of an appetite.”

Alec picked the plate up and turned it in his hands. His grin could only be described as ecstatic. “Oh, of course, of course. I’ll put it on the counter for later!”

Magnus smiled and wiggled his fingers as Alec ran out. He saw Alec’s shadow as he did a little jump and pumped his fist. It was only then when Magnus reached into his bag and pulled out his bottle of water, taking a long sip. Okay, so maybe Alec’s first attempt wasn’t great (it was pretty awful actually but Magnus was being kind) but he could learn. Magnus could offer to cook with him. He’d get better with practise and nothing was better than the sound of him jumping happily around the kitchen.

A few hours later, Alec and Magnus were curled up on the couch, under Magnus’ duvet. Magnus had chosen one of his favourite movies about a dog and Alec was trying to not obviously cry as it followed its owner around. Magnus spoke with his arms around Alec’s waist. He reached over to the bowl of popcorn between them, putting a piece in Alec’s mouth. “Alexander, are you crying?”

Alec sniffled, facing away. “No.”

“You are!” Magnus put his fingers against Alec’s chin and tried to bring his face towards him. “Come here!”

Alec laughed. “No!”

“Come here!”

He pointed at the screen. “Look, it literally has a minute left!

Magnus climbed over Alec, pushing the blanket back and wiping the single tear on Alec’s face. Magnus knew the final words on the screen by heart and listened as the music played. Alec watched over his shoulder. “Why didn’t they go back? They could have left together!”

Magnus turned his head around as the credits rolled, his hands on Alec’s waist. “I know but it gave their lives more meaning. They never made a sequel but I like to think that they would have found their way back to each other anyway. Whatever life comes next.”

Magnus got up, grabbing the popcorn bowl and the two plates from the side. Alec’s microwave hotdogs were much better than his cake. Thank goodness.

“Do you think about that?”

“What? Other lives?”

Alec nodded, standing up and stretching his back as Magnus put the dishes in the sink. “Yeah. Do you think that- say- ‘couples’ find each other in each life they go through? Do they meet again?”

Magnus shook his head as bubbles filled up the sink. Alec walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ shoulders and kissing his head. “I don’t know. Father talks about heaven sometimes. He’s been more open since he told me about Mama, but I don’t know about all that. As far as I’m concerned, heaven is what you make of it. There’s no way of knowing so there’s not much point spending time worrying about it.”

Alec moved his arms, hugging Magnus’ waist as he washed up. He rested his head over Magnus’ shoulder, mumbling as he breathed in the scent of him and closed his eyes. “What’s heaven to you then?”

Magnus smiled as he finished the last dish and set it on the draining board, drying his hands on a cloth. “Heaven is anywhere as long as I’m with you.” He turned around in Alec’s hold and Alec rested his hands on Magnus’ face, staring into his eyes. Alec shook his head as Magnus spoke. “What?” Alec sighed.

“Nothing. I don’t even have words for you, Magnus Bane. You’re special.”

Magnus went up on his tiptoes, his arms around the back of Alec’s neck. He parted Alec’s lips with his tongue and they both groaned as Alec’s hands slid down his back. They could have just stayed there all night, locked in each other’s embrace, but there was an energy between them of pure exhaustion. An admittance that even though they didn’t want to, they’d have to go to sleep.

Alec took Magnus’ hand, switching off the TV and lights before going upstairs. Alec crashed down onto Magnus’ bed, face first, laughing as Magnus jumped down next to him.

Alec yawned, running his hand over his head. “If we- go to sleep now- then we can get up early and clean downstairs before we go out.”

Magnus nodded, his eyelids drooping. He fell with his face on the pillow and Alec chuckled. “Sure. Wanna cuddle? I know you always like being a little spoon.”

Alec blushed with his face hidden in his crossed arms. “Well I wouldn’t say always…”

“So, you don’t want to be a little spoon?” Magnus laughed. 

“I didn’t say that…”

Magnus yawned. “Switch off the light then.” He pulled the covers up and climbed under, lying on his side. He tapped the space in front of him as Alec got up and the room went dark. Alec climbed under the covers, finding his way without the light. He smiled as he rested his head on Magnus’ arm. His other was over Alec’s waist. Magnus snuggled into Alec’s neck, sighing contentedly and moving to fit their legs together. He closed his eyes and opened them again as Alec chuckled in his hold. “What the hell is it? Why have you got the giggles?”

“We forgot about putting the duck photos up for Jace.”

Magnus laughed and shook his head. “Why’s that funny?” He felt as Alec’s laughter shook through him.

“He’s going to be looking for them for so long.”

Magnus sighed, grinning against Alec’s neck. “Good. He won’t mess with us again then.”

Alec shook his head, finally trying to fall asleep, failing as both him and Magnus cracked up with laughter.

***

“Hey, Lil?” Asmodeus spoke softly as he pushed the door open. He was carrying a fresh glass of water and set it down on her bedside table. Lily was asleep, facing the empty side of her bed. Asmodeus walked around and sat down next to her, gently touching her forehead and breathing a sigh of relief. Her fever was going down. He hated seeing her Ill or upset over anything.

He’d been in a few bad situations over the years and she’d always been there. They’d been there for eachother really. She’d been there to help him when Aminah was ill, sleeping over and taking care of Magnus. She’d been there when Magnus was teething and screaming the house down. When he was five and had refused to eat anything but ice cream for tea. His first day of middle school, his first day of highschool. The day he was rushed to hospital. She’d always been in the background with gentle encouragement and smart solutions. Asmodeus had been there for her too. Letting her stay on the couch when she was arguing with her ex-husband. Bringing Magnus and tubs of ice cream around when he unfairly received custody of their son and moved away. Those had been dark, dark, times. But they got through them together and had each found a forever friend.

Asmodeus brushed a piece of hair back from Lily’s face. He’d considered being with Lily a number of times, if she ever thought about him that way, which she probably, almost certainly, hadn’t. He couldn’t do it though. Not to her. It wouldn’t be fair. He was still stuck in his past. How could you move on and find someone else when you were still in love in the first place?

He sat back and felt himself falling asleep, jolting himself to try and stay awake. He had some typing to do and definitely needed a coffee. He rubbed his face for a second, resting his hands on the joggers that Lily had found for him, wondering if she would be mad if he just fell asleep there. Probably not but just to be sure, he grabbed the pile of scatter cushions that he’d chucked on the floor. He didn’t know what women saw in them but he was thankful in that moment for something to put between them. He wasn’t frightened of his occasional and misguided feelings, absolutely not, he knew that he was probably just miserable and feeling alone. It was no reason to take advantage of her hospitality.

***      

The clock read two AM as Alec tossed restlessly in his sleep. His eyelids moved as Magnus held his hands but Alec was too far under to take comfort from it.

_“Hello again. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”_

_Alec’s head whipped around at the voice behind him. “No. NO! I’m done with you!”_

_Alec listened as the wind ripped through the trees. The leaves whistled as they shook against the barren sky._

_“I’m not here to hurt you, Alec. I just want us to talk…”_

_“NO! I’m NOT speaking with you. You’re gone! Finished!”_

_Alec shot off, thinking of the only place he could go to get away from the darkness and the shadows. Towards the only place in this empty landscape that was green and full of life. The ground rolled and crumbled behind him and he gasped as his feet hit the floor. It was only when he reached the opening to the scorched plains that he realised the baking hot ground wasn't lapping at his heels again. It was breaking up on either side of him, leaving a clear path and driving him forward. He skidded to a stop, the tree just up ahead. He saw the familiar shadow in the branches but it wasn't sitting like it once had been. It was standing and clutching the trunk, leaning over and looking at the ground. The ghostly whisper spoke as the ground stopped moving around him._

_"This has never been about you, Alec Lightwood. I said I wanted to be your friend and I meant it. Sometimes humans are quick to judge. Especially when they are frightened and vulnerable."_

_Alec shook his head as he panted, his shirt clinging to him in the scorched landscape. "I don't understand. You don't want me?"_

_Even though he couldn't see it, he felt the voice chuckle around him softly and shake its head. "No. I don't. Sometimes we need to go through hardship to be pushed in the right direction. I need you for something. I didn’t bring you here to take you away. I brought you here for him-”_

_Alec lifted his head and looked up to the distant tree._

_The shadow stepped forward. It’s foot walked out onto the empty air, as it let go of the trunk. There was a hallowing scream in the air as he fell. Alec lunged forward and his whole world came crashing down._

_“Alexander!”_

_The ghostly voice called out as Alec ran forward, his feet hardly making contact with the ground. “You see, Alec, you’ve been running for so long... but this was never about you. I don’t want to see you fall-”_

_Alec held his arms out as he ran across the ground. He was still so far away. He’d never make it. He gritted his teeth and raced with everything he had, the shadow finally coming into view. “Magnus-”_

_“I want you to catch him.”_

***

Alec’s eyes shot open as he clutched his hand against his chest. Magnus was on his side, facing away from him. Alec leaned over him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Magnus’ eyes fluttered for a second and he licked his lips before turning over. He spoke groggily. “Hey. You okay?”

Alec settled around him, spooning his back and pulling him closer. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay.”

Magnus nodded, relaxing slightly. “You had a nightmare.”

Alec nodded, burying his face in Magnus’ shoulder. “Yeah. How did you know?”

“Your heart’s racing. You’re safe though, Alexander. You’re safe. They can’t hurt you.”

“I’m not worried about myself.” Alec closed his eyes, letting out a breath.

Magnus smiled, being pulled back under. “That’s good. Try not to worry, anyway. Try and get back to sleep, sweetie. They’re only in your head and besides, I get nightmares too.”

***

_Magnus sat on the blanket, running his hand over the dusty ground as he spoke._

_“Not a good place for a picnic, is it?” The voice chuckled, swirling around him as Magnus poured tea into the lid of a flask. “Although this seems to be the only spot with any life. The tree, I mean. All the rest in the forest are dead. We should do something about that.” Magnus sat with his legs crossed, biting into his sandwich. “It’s pretty lonely when I come here though. I’m glad for your company, even if you just watch and don’t talk much.” The grass shifted around him, the only way he knew that his friend had moved at all. There was a distant scream from the forest and the crash of a tree falling. He always heard it but never knew which direction it came from. “Maybe we should help him. Maybe he wants to tell us something.” The voice shook it’s proverbial head. Magnus wanted to run to the person who was screaming but his legs were always stuck underneath him. He didn’t know why his subconscious was stopping him from running. It was the only thing that frightened him in what was usually a pleasant dream. That and the screams._

_The voice spoke quietly. “We’ll see him eventually. Can you help me with something?”_

_Magnus smiled. “Sure, friend. Anything for you.”_

_The voice ran it’s hands over Magnus’ shoulders, turning him to make him look. “There’s two apples up this tree. The most delicious looking apples. I would like to share them with you but my corporeal form stops me from reaching them. Do you think you could climb up the tree and get them for me?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sorry about the bit of a wait. This was a long chapter and it took a lot of work so I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Just adding a link for those of you that like reading up. It's about aftercare from having an absent seizure and I'd like to imagine it's one of the things Alec looked up to help him support his boyfriend.
> 
> The link is[ here.](https://www.drugs.com/cg/new-onset-absence-seizures-in-adults-aftercare-instructions.html)


	25. I Want to Love Like a Man.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their weekend away, Maryse and Robert are driving back with three of their children. The only question is this: What will they find when they return home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay thank you for being so patient. The good news is, the wait is over. I've got three chapters for you over three days and I hope you enjoy reading as much as I have enjoyed writing them. These next few chapters will be the most emotional and angstiest so far, so you have been warned. I'll also add to pay attention to the times for this chapter. Not all the scenes are in order. Happy reading!
> 
> If you'd like to tweet along, please use the hashtag #Flutterfic or you can contact me with @Allie_Enigma on twitter. I have poured my heart into these three chapters and would love any feedback from you guys x
> 
> Song for chapter 25:[ "Land Or Sea."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg1LOazb2tY&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=27&t=0s)

Monday:

08:44 AM

Asmodeus yawned and licked his lips, blinking his eyes in the early morning light. For as long as he could remember, he’d woken up with a chill around him. It had been the only thing he’d known since falling asleep with Aminah for the last time, watching her fade as she held Magnus to her chest.

It was only when Asmodeus opened his eyes properly that he realised there wasn’t the familiar coldness from the other side of the bed, or the familiar coldness from the space next to him. His arm was draped over Lily, pulling her close to him. Their legs were tangled together, and she breathed softly against him. Their foreheads were pressed together, their lips dangerously close to touching. Lily made a murmur as she moved her head and blinked at him, both of their eyes opening wide at the same time, realising what had happened. Asmodeus pulled his head back slightly, not knowing what to do as Lily's eyes darted around his face. The pillows were on the floor by the bed and they both blushed as they tried to pull apart. Asmodeus pulled at his left arm that was stuck under Lily and their feet flayed together as they fought at the same time to get up.

Asmodeus shot up, scrambling off the bed and standing with his arms crossed. Lily sat with her knees bent, laughing with her arms bent over her head.

“Lily, I’m sorry. I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to-”

Lily chuckled softly. “As, it’s fine.”

“I- I don’t want you to think-”

Lily rolled her eyes. Asmodeus had always had a vision of maintaining his image of masculinity. He’d had a few frantic stumbles with women over the years, but they had never spoken about it with each other. He made it very clear to these women that they weren’t welcome to stick around, and they weren't usually the type to. No feelings attached and they were gone by morning. Lily only knew of them because of whispers in work from when others thought that she wasn't around. She didn’t know which was the more likely cause of his unwillingness to settle down again. Was he like that because he wanted to maintain his image? Or was it because he was afraid of making himself vulnerable and opening his heart up again? 

Lily moved to the edge of the bed, rubbing her eyes. She moved on instinct to the side that Asmodeus had fallen asleep on because it was closer to the door. How they'd both ended up in the middle of the bed, she had no clue.

Asmodeus leaned down to pick up the cushions from the floor, turning crimson red as he looked up and narrowly avoided hitting their heads together.

“Lily! Sorry! Sorry-”

“No- no. It’s my fault.”

“No, no, no- I shouldn’t have-”

Asmodeus cheeks turned beetroot red as he rubbed his face; putting it down to the fact that it had been so long since he’d woken to company. She was his friend. What on earth would she think of him?

Lily yawned as she smiled with her hair in a mess. She never took things quite as seriously as Asmodeus did and actually found it a little funny about how worked up he had gotten himself. It was one of the reasons they got along so well. A balance of personalities.

She observed him quietly as the early morning light peered through the linen curtains. He had a chiselled face. Nice to look at. The kind that the women in work whispered and giggled about, even if he rarely gave them attention for it. What she also knew that no one else did was that in private, he was incapable of hiding a single thing he ever felt. He blushed easily and smiled at the smallest things. His eyes darted as he hovered by the patio door in the evening light. How he liked to watch quietly and look out as rain pattered down, sniffing at the air. How his lip wobbled when he was worked up or frustrated, and how he could be tricked into being calmed by being given a book he hadn't read before. She smiled to herself quietly, as he grumbled and ran his hand through his dark hair. She knew that he clenched his fists when he got excited, usually when trying to explain how different computer systems worked. How he always spun his watch when he was getting impatient or how, even after all these years as friends, he still asked every single time that he wanted to use the bathroom or get something to eat or drink. She laughed to herself. Every little expression was mirrored exactly the same in his son. 

Just as she was reaching to tell him that he had nothing to be embarrassed about, there was a loud knock on the door.

Asmodeus rubbed his eyes.  “Do you usually have callers at this time in the morning?”

Lily shook her head, jumping up and grabbing her robe from the chair, throwing it on and tying the cord. “Probably my neighbour. He’s always locking himself out and I have a spare-” There was another knock, sounding more desperate than before. She rushed across the hallway and down the stairs, running quickly to see who it was. “Hang on! I’m coming!”

Asmodeus separated the blinds and looked out. His eyes widened as he took in the car that was pulled up on the curb. The blue sirens on top were blaring, causing neon light to be thrown up and down the street. Curtains up the road were being pulled aside and he found himself thinking on instinct. Sirens blaring. If Magnus was- 

“Magnus-”

Lily grabbed her key from the table and turned it in the lock. She looked through the frosted glass, taking in the two figures who were wearing dark clothes and hats. Her breath caught in her chest as she yanked the door open, wondering what on earth had happened. There were two officers on the doorstep. A man and a woman. They glanced at her and then at each other, pulling off their hats as the male officer spoke.

“Excuse me, Miss. I’m Constable Fisk and this is Officer Vargas. Do you mind if we come in and have a word with you?” 

***

07:18 AM

Magnus strolled lazily from behind the kitchen table, putting his lunch into his school rucksack. His old bag was getting a bit tatty now and he had asked Isabelle to find out where hers was from because he'd taken quite a shine to it. He smiled quietly as he put the other lunch box into the bag that was next to his. Alec's bag. Magnus had needed to pack himself a lunch for school so had thought that he might as well have packed one for Alec. It was something he had loved. The methodical order of making food for both of them and the look on Alec’s face when he saw it. When he had come downstairs and placed his hands on Magnus' hips, seeing what Magnus was doing for him. Magnus had turned around and kissed him softly, telling him that when they were older and both had jobs, he would still get up early, every day, and make Alec's lunch with a note inside. Alec had nearly melted at both the tenderness of it and delicate shyness in Magnus' eyes. 

Magnus zipped up Alec's bag and turned back to watch him quietly. His mind was still humming with thoughts of what had happened yesterday. How Alec had made so much effort to put his mind at rest. Magnus yawned. He’d tried not to toss and turn last night, Alec still needed rest, but things had been playing on his mind and he hadn't gotten as much sleep as he had wanted to. 

_“You think I had a seizure?”_

_“Yes.”_

Magnus watched as Alec flipped a pancake up in the air. It had actually been the perfect morning so far. They’d had a quick shower together and had gone back to Magnus' room to chuck their pyjamas back on. They wanted to change at the last minute, drawing out the time until Magnus had to put his uniform on, and Alec had to be dropped home.

When they had gotten back into Magnus room, they'd found themselves carried away with their thoughts. A quick nose rub and a grin from both of them had resulted in them ending up on Magnus' bed, Alec straddling him and them both moaning loudly as they kissed hungrily and moved against one another. Unfortunately for them both, as Alec was clutching at Magnus' pyjama top and lifting it to pull it over his head, Alec had glanced at the digital clock on Magnus' bedside table. Magnus had cursed him silently for bringing his attention to it but had accepted that he couldn't be late for school. All frantic acts of copulation would have to wait until another time.

Magnus smiled to himself. He didn’t know if it was because Alec had been worried about him or because the weekend was almost over, but he found it funny that they hadn’t been able to stop kissing each other all morning. Waking up, in the shower, greeting each other every time they passed one another. Magnus had never felt so in love. Seeing Alec with his messy hair, laughing as he tossed pancakes in the air. His pyjama bottoms were riding low on his hips as he jumped around and laughed, making Magnus' face go all warm and fuzzy. 

_“I know all teens say it, Cat, but I’m going to marry him- He’s my soulmate,- We’re meant for each other- Everything’s just perfect. I’m so happy.”_

Something hung in the back of Magnus’ mind though, even as he walked over and put his arms around Alec’s neck. Alec had now plated up food for them both and was sat at the table. He grinned at Magnus as he turned his head. Magnus put his head against Alec's for a second and met eyes with him. Their lips crashed together on instinct and Alec's eyes widened slightly in surprise before he relaxed. Magnus kissed him slowly with enough pressure that they both breathed deeply out of their noses. They broke apart and Alec grinned with a sparkle in his eyes. "Well, good morning."

Magnus grinned back. "Good morning."

They hugged tightly for a second and Magnus walked around to sit down opposite Alec. He hadn't been hungry again, but pancakes were one of the only things that Alec currently excelled at making. He wasn't going to deny him that on their last day alone together. Magnus eyes lowered as he sat down, what had happened yesterday still caught him off guard, even though he knew he couldn’t help it. It still worried him. Anyway, it was only a small one and he was doing better now. 

_“-I haven’t had one of those since I went into hospital. I don't plan to have one either-”_

Magnus shook his head, ignoring his racing mind and just trying to appreciate everything that he had in front of him. Everything he needed. He reached out his hand, over the table, and Alec took it. Alec stood up for a second, leaning over the table to kiss Magnus again softly before sitting back down again. Magnus took in the sight of the strawberries and pancakes that Alec had made for them as Alec grinned with a pink face.

_“Can you pass me my sunglasses? They’re in the glove compartment. The bright light is giving me a headache.”_

Alec tilted his head in concern. “Hey, hey, Magnus? You okay?”

Magnus nodded, picking up his knife and fork. “Yeah, yeah. I’m great. I’m just sad that our weekend is over.”

Alec stuffed pancake in his mouth. “Oh, we’ll get others. We might have to get creative though because our families are going to- why are you looking at me like that?”

Magnus smiled. “What? Can’t I just stare at my boyfriend? You're very good looking if I may say so.”

Alec grinned again, his cheekbones turning red. He smiled and held up his glass of orange juice. “To our next crazy weekend together!”

“To the next crazy weekend!” Magnus clinked his glass against Alec's and laughed.

_Alec rested on one elbow, the sun peering down on him- casting him in golden light._

_“Yes, I have. I’ve got everything.”_

Alec glanced over, concern on his face again. Magnus kept insisting that he was fine, but there was a little voice somewhere that was just screaming at Alec. Screaming that something was wrong. He didn't know why.  “Magnus, are you absolutely sure that you’re okay?”

Magnus went to nod but shook his head instead. “Sorry. I’m not feeling great all of a sudden.”

Alec set his fork down, walking around and putting his hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “You’re not? You wanna go lie down?”

Magnus shook his head, his fingers on either temple. “I Just feel a little sick- Just give me a sec- I’ll be-” He breathed deeply out of his nose, closing his eyes and counting to five.

"You want to go to the bathroom?"

Magnus shook his head slightly, breathing in with his eyes closed as he spoke quietly. "Could-you-get me a glass-of water?" 

Alec nodded and turned around, rushing to the sink. By the time he had turned back, Magnus was racing to the downstairs bathroom with his hand over his mouth.

***

07:58 AM

“So, this was a pleasant weekend!”

Maryse smiled over at Robert. They’d been on the road for a while and both the traffic and the inhabitants of the car had been very quiet. Max was sleeping, leaning against one door with his legs tucked up. Jace was leaning against the window on the other side, strangely silent as he watched a video on his phone with earphones on his head. Izzy was in the middle, listening to pop songs with her headphones in and staring into space with her head back.

Robert smiled. “It was a pleasant weekend. Shame that it has to end but it’ll be nice to-”

Robert stopped talking as Maryse’s phone started vibrating from in her handbag. Her bag was at her feet and she reached down quickly, unzipping the side pocket and glancing at the screen. “It’s an unknown number-” Maryse looked across to her husband. Robert turned the steering wheel and cursed quietly as they went past their turning. “-Should I answer it?”

Robert glanced over and nodded. “I would.”

Maryse swiped at the green circle and placed the phone to her ear, her eyes meeting Robert’s across the car. “Hello- Yes. Yes- This is Maryse Lightwood. Can I ask who’s calling?”

Robert looked in the rear view mirror and back to Maryse again. His heart leapt in his throat as she clicked her fingers for him to take a different turn. His mind always jumped to the worst case scenario whenever one of their phones went off. They'd been going to a couple’s counsellor to keep on top of things, even before Alec was sick, and she had told them that this nervousness could go on for a long time. That it was perfectly normal after what had happened. Since Alec's diagnosis, they had always been on high alert. Robert had been keeping things to himself until last night; when he had caved and told Maryse everything. He had finally got it off his chest and admitted to her that he often woke up in the night, swearing that he heard his phone ringing. It always ended with him getting up and checking that Alec was okay; Peering through Alec's door and standing there until he saw him breathing or moving slightly.

Maryse had also admitted that she'd been struggling with her own self conflict. Torn between letting the kids have whatever they wanted, such as dinner choices or things from the shops, and going back to a normal routine. They'd been through so much and she couldn't win with herself; feeling bad if she said no because of what had happened or saying yes because they were getting spoilt and it wasn’t good for them. The conversation had been very much needed and had lifted a huge weight off both of them. Some time to just talk and be a couple had been long overdue and they'd agreed to make more time to spend as just the two of them once things got back to normal. Whatever normal meant.

Maryse nodded as she listened to the phone. Robert didn't know where they were going, and she pointed again at the next turning. She nodded and rubbed her face, checking the time on her phone and turning to Robert. “Right- Okay. Okay-We’ll be right there.”

***

07:25 AM 

Alec stood with his hands on Magnus’ shoulders, unable to do anything but just be there for him and offer reassuring words. “You’re okay. I got you.” Magnus leaned with his head in his hands. His elbows were on the toilet seat, his body unable to give any more. His stomach wretched and Alec tightened his fingers, rubbing his thumbs in circles over Magnus’ neck. “There you go. You should feel better now. You’re gonna be okay.”

Magnus sat back on his knees, the cold tiles of the bathroom cutting into his legs where his pyjamas shorts didn’t cover. Tears fell from his eyes and his hands shook as he wiped his face, dropping the paper into the toilet and flushing it.

He spoke quietly as he sat against the bathroom wall. “Sorry I’m such a mess. I didn’t feel sick earlier.”

Alec brought a cloth over, warmed from the tap. He ran it over Magnus’ forehead with a gentle touch, crouching in front of him while he spoke softly. “Heyy. Don’t apologise. You’ve seen me at far worse.” He smiled, trying to cheer Magnus up. “Although if my pancakes were that bad, you could have just said something.”

Magnus chuckled. “Your pancakes are fine. I’m probably just under the weather. Thanks for staying with me.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ll always stay with you. For better or worse... In sickness and in health and all that...” He brushed Magnus’ hair back and felt his head. “I think you might have a stomach bug though. It could have been what caused your seizure yesterday. When I was reading up about them, it was listed as one of the things that can cause them.”

Magnus leaned into Alec’s palm. His head was boiling but he felt shivery. That and a little touched that Alec had been looking up about how to help him. “You think so?”           

Alec nodded, laughing softly. “Either that or you’re trying to trick me into letting you stay home.”

“Oh... I was supposed to drop you back.” Magnus rubbed his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter, don't worry, okay? I’ll get you to bed and call Dad to pick me up once I know my family is home. I might be able to catch my siblings before they go to school.”

Magnus leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes as Alec brushed his cheek. He licked his lips and within a second, Alec was handing him a glass of water. Magnus took a sip and grimaced, handing it back as he chuckled with his eyes closed. He leaned against the tiles and he appreciated the coolness against the back of his head. “I never thought the last time you’d take me to bed this weekend would be under these circumstances… I’m sorry I ruined our breakfast.”

Alec shook his head, standing up and laughing at Magnus’ attempt to lighten the mood. “Heyy, don't worry about anything, alright? We’ve had an amazing weekend together. You haven’t ruined anything. Give me your hand and I’ll help you upstairs.” 

Magnus held his arms up weakly. He didn’t think he’d be able to get all the way upstairs in one go. Maybe he would need to stay on the couch instead. Magnus’ eyes teared up, fresh tears falling down his face. He hated looking weak in front of anyone and now he was a sobbing mess that couldn’t even walk up to his own bed. “Alec- I can’t. I feel awful.”

Alec stood up and leaned down to Magnus, concern on his face. Magnus instantly put his arms around Alec’s neck, allowing himself to be lifted like a little child. He had carried Alec so many times and he’d never thought of Alec having to carry him while he was sick instead. Magnus told himself to stop being dramatic. Maybe Alec was healthier in this moment, but a stomach bug would only last for a few days and then he’d be back to himself again.

Magnus closed his eyes, resting his head against Alec’s shoulder. Alec made soothing sounds and Magnus’ bare feet swayed over open air as Alec carried him with his arm under Magnus’ knees.

_Magnus laughed. “Alexander! Put me down!”_

_“Okay, I’ll put you down! You need a work out! Too many strawberry doughnuts!”_

Alec made his way upstairs slowly, stopping a couple of times to catch his breath. Magnus insisted that he was fine, and that Alec should be careful as he was still recovering. Alec just shook his head and carried on. All he cared about was Magnus.

Alec walked into Magnus’ room, setting him down so gently that the sheets were barely disturbed. Magnus moved over and pushed the cover down, lying on his left side. Alec kissed his head, barely keeping it together. He didn’t want to frighten Magnus by showing him how upset he was himself. Alec sat down with his feet up and let Magnus snuggle into his side. He had nowhere to be and would stay there until Magnus woke up if he needed to. Magnus curled up in the crook of Alec’s arm and his fingers dug into the side of Alec’s pyjama top as his right arm went over Alec’s middle. They’d been through a lot together since they’d met, and this was just a thing. It was something they could deal with. A minor bump in a long and beautiful road. 

_-they weren’t two young, broken boys but two strong men who had defied so many odds to be together._

Magnus let out a sigh as he closed his eyes. He didn’t want his bed to be filled with sad memories. His room was a place of comfort. A sanctuary. He was sure that Alec felt the same about his. He thought of Alec’s sweet smile, taking in the feel of Alec’s fingers that were laced with his own. Their legs touched with no barrier other than their shorts and all that could be heard was the soft sound of their breathing in the otherwise silent room.

_“-would you mind sleeping without your robe on? I want to be as close to you as I can.”_

Magnus muttered against Alec’s side. “I love you, Alexander. Thank you for taking care of me.”

Alec smiled. “I love you too and of course I’m going to take care of you. I promised your mom that I would look after you and I’m going to do everything within my power to make sure that you’re okay. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I promise. I’m staying right here.” 

***

08:56 AM

Lily sat with her hand over her mouth. She glanced over to Asmodeus who was rushing to gather his things. “As- I don’t- he should have been here. I should have been here with him.”

Asmodeus shook his head, pulling on his shoes as he watched the two police officers with their solemn expressions. “It’s not your fault. It wouldn’t have made any difference. I bet that damn boy hasn’t been looking after himself-”

Lily held her hands up. “As, calm down. You’re just upset-”

“He’s being rushed to hospital, Lily! Of course, I’m upset!” He turned to the police officers. “How bad is he!? Have you heard anything?!” The constable looked down.

“One seizure that we know of so far...” His voice trailed off. “-We were in contact with the paramedics-”

Asmodeus stood up and grabbed his jacket. “Right- we need to go- NOW.”

***

07:40 AM

Alec sat up as Magnus shot off the bed. His eyes darted around for a second and he licked his lips, putting his hand to his mouth. Alec’s heart raced as he stood up, holding his hands out. “You feeling sick again?” Magnus shook his head, moving to sit on the end of the bed. He looked around in panic, not totally aware of what he was trying to do. “Okay, Magnus, you’re worrying me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Alec- I’m scared.”

“What’s going on? What’s happening?!”

Magnus stuttered, trying to rush over and grab his jacket off the chair. He was still only in pyjamas so couldn’t have wanted to go anywhere. “You- you need to help me get changed.”

Magnus stumbled and nearly fell over. Alec just about caught him, trying to get him to go back to bed. “No- you need rest. I said I could call-”

Magnus shook his head, his hands in Alec’s shirt. “No! NO! Alexander- you have to help me! I- I- I can taste metal in my mouth!”

Alec rushed over. “What-what-what does that mean?!”

Magnus put his hand over his mouth. “A seizure Alec- a bad one! It’s the auras I used to get!”

Alec took a deep breath. He was petrified. What should he do? There was no one else here. He’d never seen one of these before. Why was this happening? What if he did something wrong? He took a deep breath. He needed to stay calm and help Magnus. “Okay, listen. I’m going to run and get your wallet from your satchel in case I need to read off your card. Stay calm- I’m- I’m going to look after you, okay-” Magnus’ hands shook as Alec held onto them. “I’ve got you- okay? Don’t be scared. I’m right here.” Magnus looked down and Alec lifted his chin. “You trust me, right?”

Magnus nodded. “With my life.”

“Good. I’ll be two seconds. I’m going to run and get it...”

Magnus nodded and within a fraction of a second, Alec was racing across the hall and thundering down the stairs. Magnus sat on the edge of the bed and heard a crash from downstairs somewhere, but he didn’t know what had caused it. It was a both a mercy and a curse to him that he wouldn’t remember the seizure after he had it. That meant he didn’t know what to expect. Despite not remembering the actual seizures he’d had, he remembered being aware while they were happening and what they felt like. The uncontrollable feeling of falling as his eyes rolled back. The tightening of his limbs and how his head was thrown back. The horrific symptoms when he couldn’t keep control of himself. The shouts of those around him and the bitter taste if he managed to bite his tongue or his cheek. 

Alec burst back through the door, throwing Magnus’ bag onto the bed while he panted. “I- Just- brought- the whole bag.”

“What happened?! There was a crash.”

Alec’s hands shook as he fought with the zip of the satchel. “I- tripped over a chair leg and knocked over the cake. I’m fine though! Let’s get you sorted.”

Even though Magnus’ hadn’t expected him to, Magnus knew that Alec was trying his best to appear calm. Magnus suspected that Alec was only keeping it together for his sake and tried not to panic himself so Alec wouldn’t be scared.

Magnus let out a shaky breath. Alec sat next to him on the end of the bed and Magnus spoke quietly. “Okay. I don’t know when It’ll happen. My wallet is in the side pocket-” Magnus clenched his eyes as he grimaced at the taste in his mouth. His head was hurting, and he couldn’t think clearly. “Alec- you have to know something- I have to tell you something-”

“No, no. You don’t. You’ll be absolutely fine. I’m here, okay?”

“No, I have to tell you.” His eyes teared up and his voice shook. “We promised each other. No more secrets. I’ve been having symptoms for months, Alexander. I- I thought it was stress- that they would go away. I tried to ignore it. Headaches. Forgetting things. Dropping things. I couldn’t bear to say anything. What- what- what if the tumour is back? My cancer?” His voice broke and Alec pulled him closer. “What- what if-”

Alec shook his head and spoke softly, taking a deep breath. “Hey, there’s no guarantee of anything, okay? There are so many things this could be. We can go to the hospital together and we can get you checked out.” He paused, trying to hold back tears as he read over the card from Magnus’ wallet, not taking it all in just yet. His heart skipped as he read the steps, grabbing his phone from the side for the timer and trying not to look panicked. “Magnus, you should have spoken to me-” Magnus’ lip wobbled. “-but it doesn’t matter. Getting upset will only make things worse. Let’s just deal with this together, like we always do, okay?” 

Magnus nodded. “Yeah, I-” He held his left arm up, trying to flex his fingers. “Alec- there’s something wrong with- there’s something- some- thing.”

Alec’s heart jumped as Magnus’ eyes rolled and he fell back onto the bed. By the time Alec tried to get him on his side, Magnus’ whole body was seizing uncontrollably.

***

08:02 AM

“Okay, guys. Your Mom and me have something to tell you...”

Max and Jace’s heads shot up, looking to the front where their father was speaking. Max clapped his hands. “Are we having a little brother?”

Maryse shook her head, her face turning red. “No. Sorry, Max.”

Max shrugged and turned back to the window, quickly losing interest. Jace and Izzy breathed a sigh of relief each, audible from the front of the car.

“Your Mom and I had a call. We’re picking something up on the way home. Before you go to school. But we can’t tell you what yet.”

Jace crossed his fingers. “Please don’t be Simon. Please don’t be Simon.” Izzy punched him in the arm and Jace rubbed it with his hand. “HEY!”

Maryse rolled her eyes. “Okay this was in the plans for after school but when we get home, we’re going to surprise Alec and Magnus-”

Jace raised one eyebrow and held up his hands. “Woah, woah, woah, woah, WOAH! Let’s be realistic here! They break the rules, defile my living quarters-”

Izzy interrupted. “-How did they defile-”

“They DEFILE my living quarters!- cover Max’s ears!- they defile my ROOM! -have probably been doing God knows what because of an unsanctioned honeymoon and now you’re rewarding them?!”

“I didn’t think you knew words like that, Jace!” Izzy clapped her hands.

Maryse put her head back and looked up in exasperation. “Jace, I don’t know what you’ve heard but don’t talk about your brother like that. Or Magnus for that matter-”

Max shouted from the back seat. “Can Izzy take her hands off my ears now?!”

“-Alec is an adult. He’s been through a lot, Jace, and deserves to be happy. It’s not our business to discuss and it will be the last time ANY of us talk about the matter but whatever has happened this-”

Jace held up his hands. “Yes, yes, YES! OKAY! I don’t need details! Be-lieve me!- I won’t push for the discussion. Now, what are we picking up?”

***

07:46 AM

“Shit, shit, shit.” Alec had nearly timed a minute by the time that Magnus’ nose started bleeding. He read off the card in steps, trying to use the order to keep himself calm.

“Okay, Alec. You can do this- Magnus, you’re okay, sweetie. I’ve got you-”

_Step one: Don’t panic._

“Oh fantastic! Wish I’d thought of that, you bloody great, stupid, piece of plastic!” 

_Step two: Allow plenty of space._

He grabbed Magnus the best he could and pulled him over to him. “Fuck!” Alec swore under his breath. Magnus’ head repeatedly hit against Alec’s chest as he lifted him, and Alec struggled to keep hold of him. Alec lifted him and set him down gently on the rug that was on the floor. “Okay-” Alec let out a breath. “-You can do this.”

_Step three: Protect from injury._

“Right, we’re okay there. I’m never going to let anything hurt you, believe me, Magnus.”

_Step four: Put something soft under the patient’s head._

Alec stood up, pulling off his robe. He bunched it up and lifted Magnus’ head, gently sliding it underneath as he teared up. His voice broke as he spoke. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, okay? We’re okay. We’re a team. We work together, you and me, don’t we? Okay-”

_Step five: Loosen anything tight around the patient’s neck._

Alec glanced over. Magnus hands were clenched in claws and Alec was worried that his nails were hurting his hands. He brought himself back to the current thought. Magnus’ hands weren’t the main priority right now. “Okay, Magnus. I’m taking your medical ID off. I don’t know if I should, but I’ll keep it safe for you.” With a touch as soft as falling snow, he lifted Magnus’ head and carefully pulled the chain over, putting it in the pocket of his shorts. Magnus usually wore his mother’s locket but had given it to Asmodeus to take with him. Alec looked at the timer again and rubbed his face. 

Four minutes.

Alec let out a shaky breath. “-Okay.”

_Step six: Turn patient on side if vomiting occurs or seizure subsides_

Alec spoke quietly. “Shh. Shh. You’re okay- I’m here. Well we only want one of those, don’t we? But we’ve had neither so-”

 _Step seven: Never put anything in mouth_ and _Step eight: Never restrain._

“Right, got it. What’s step nine?” Alec looked over to the timer that was displayed on his phone

5:34

_Step nine: If seizure persists for longer than five minutes- Call an ambulance._

Tears rolled down Alec’s face. He couldn’t stop them now. He was terrified. Magnus’ mouth was bleeding from somewhere and Alec brushed his cheek with a finger as he dialled the phone.

“Hello- Service required?”

“Come on, Magnus! Come on!“ Alec took a deep breath. His hand was shaking so he set his phone on speaker, placing it on the floor. “Ambulance- Ambulance, please!”

The phone rang for a second and an operator picked up. “Hello- ambulance service. Is the patient breathing?”

Alec spoke desperately. “Yes, yes, he’s breathing! We need help!”

The operator spoke painfully slow and if they hadn’t needed help so badly, Alec would have been less polite with them. “Can you tell me the nature of the call?”

“My-my boyfriend! He’s seventeen! He’s- he’s been having a seizure for- Six minutes! He’s an epileptic but has a history of a grade three Glioblastoma- he’s been in remission for a year-”

“Okay, remain calm. please. Is he still seizing? We’ll try and prioritise but there aren’t currently any-”

“No! I mean yes! Yes! He is! He’s still seizing. We need help now! He can’t wait-”

“Sir, you need to remain calm.” Alec took in the sight of Magnus’ rigid form, his nails that were digging into his hands, his bleeding mouth, his nose, his eyes back in his head as he shook on the floor. Magnus groaned quietly as tears ran down his face. “Okay, keep reassuring him.”

“Stay with me, Magnus. Come on. Stay with me.” Alec rubbed his eyes as his voice cracked. “Please. Please, you need to help him.” Magnus hands stopped shaking and Alec gasped. Magnus’ head rolled back, and he looked up. “Hang on- He’s coming around! Magnus! Please. I’m right here.” Alec heard a few computer keys being tapped as the operator spoke. 

“Are you far away?”

Magnus was starting to stir, and Alec pulled him against him. Tears covered Alec’s face as he touched his forehead to Magnus’ chest, his shirt was gathered in Alec’s hands. Magnus’ eyes were shut, and he was licking the inside of his mouth.  “Not too far.” 

The operator clicked a few more keys. “Okay, if you want to, you can make your own way here. I can arrange for a team to be waiting. Or if you’d rather wait then-”

Alec shook his head, realising the operator couldn’t see him. Magnus was blinking at his hands. There was blood under his nails. “No, I’ll bring him right now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

“Okay remember to drive carefully. Call back if there’s any problems and you’ll be put straight through. Can I take both your name and the patient’s, as well as your phone number?”

Alec kissed Magnus’ head. “Hey, baby. You’re okay- I’m Alec Lightwood and the patient is Magnus Bane.” He recited his own number. Magnus’ phone was on the bedside table. “I’ll have my phone if I need to ring.”

“Okay, that’s all sorted for you.”

Alec thanked them and they both hung up. Magnus groaned as Alec lifted him and set him to sit up against the bed. Alec crouched next to him on his knees, offering what support he could while he spoke softly. He put his arm around Magnus and kissed his temple, pulling him close as he shut his eyes and breathed himself for the first time in minutes. “Hey. You’re okay. You’re okay. I’m taking you to the hospital. I love you. I love you so much.”

Magnus nodded sadly as Alec ran into the bathroom and back. Magnus turned over his hands and rubbed at his aching palm with his thumb. His hands were bleeding and there was blood on his lips from where he had bitten his cheek. He rolled his head to the side and licked at his lips while Alec came back with a dampened cloth. He spoke softly as he turned Magnus’ hands over and dabbed at where they were bleeding. They felt heavy and cramped; like they had been stood on.

Alec turned the cloth over and Magnus sat helplessly while Alec wiped the blood from his mouth. “Hey, there you go, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of you, okay?” Alec’s voice broke slightly. “I’m going to look after you. Keep you safe, yeah? That’s what we do for each other. We take care of one another.”

Alec disappeared from his side, he came back a second later with one of Magnus’ zip up hoodies. He rolled up each sleeve in turn and helped Magnus to put it on. He pulled up the zip, kissing Magnus’ forehead before he turned away again. He walked across the room, chucking his own jacket on over his pyjama top and zipping it up. Alec reached under the chair and grabbed his shoes from the floor. He pulled them on without any socks and moved back towards Magnus. Magnus held his arms up quietly, just wanting Alec to hold him.

_Alec squished his cheeks and pecked him on the lips. The grabbing motion had been for him._

_“I missed you.”_

Magnus closed his eyes and grumbled as Alec slid one arm behind his back and another under his knees. He had Magnus’ satchel over his shoulder and the rough strap rubbed against Magnus’ cheek as he lifted him. His bare feet swayed over the open air and his nose nestled into Alec’s neck. He listened quietly, tasting the blood still in his mouth as Alec carried him tenderly and whispered words of reassurance.

_Alec had a line of bubbles on his neck and Magnus wiped them with the corner of his towel before kissing Alec's neck softly._

_“You’re so beautiful.”_

When they reached the end of the hallway, Alec kissed Magnus’ head again and adjusted him so that he could carry him safely down the stairs. “There you go. I’ve got you, baby. I’m going to look after you.”

_“I promise I’ll do her well and look after you... I love you so much-”_

Alec took a deep breath as they slowly made their way downstairs. Magnus’ arms were around Alec’s neck, his hands sticking slightly with drying blood. Alec watched as Magnus’ bottom lip quivered, wishing he could do more to help him. His heart ached. It was bad enough that his loved one was going through this; it would upset anyone, but Alec was barely holding back tears. He knew himself of the horrors that would come flooding back with returning to the hospital and as they reached the bottom of the stairs, Alec fought with himself not to think about it. How his only thought should have been staying focused and getting Magnus to the hospital.

_A single tear ran down Alec’s face and he wiped it before it had a chance to fall. “I don’t want it.”_

Alec whispered quietly with soothing sounds, carrying Magnus over to the couch and placing him down for a second. He returned another second later, Magnus’ keys in his hand. Alec took a deep breath, and leaned down, kissing Magnus’ cheek. His lips lingered and Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec again, groaning as Alec lifted him as gently as he could.

_“It doesn’t matter, Alexander. I’m better off now. I have you and I have my health. That’s all I need.”_

***

09:06 AM

Asmodeus hugged Lily tightly, his chin resting on top of her dark hair as she spoke. “Call me as soon as you hear anything. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

Asmodeus nodded and broke away, listening as the police officers got into the car and shut their doors. He was going with them in the back of the car but there’d been an accident and they didn’t know how long it would take. They’d known to look for him at Lily’s because she was listed as his emergency contact. He’d had no contact with family members since leaving Jakarta with Aminah. While the police had spoken to them, Lily had sat with Asmodeus and held his hand, making him wonder what he had done to deserve a friend like her. He’d needed to sign consent forms and Lily had been so supportive while he did it; signing for any procedures that Magnus might need before he could get there with the police.

Asmodeus smiled sadly as he held his hand up to her, pulling the car door open. Lily’s arms were wrapped around her middle and she looked up the street, shaking her head as a few of her neighbours looked on. They whispered and gossiped over the minimal and incorrect facts that they knew. One made presumptions about Asmodeus being arrested and another murmured that he had a teenage son with a shaky past. Lily shot them a glare, quickly reducing them to silence. Lily glanced down at her socks and back at the people who had gathered. She wiggled her toes, in her socks that looked like kittens, and thought for a second. Shoes on or not, she dared to bet that they wouldn’t get away quick enough if they muttered another word.

No one spoke about either of her boys like that.

***

08:21 AM

“Okay, sweetheart. I’m going to put you in the front and lock the front door. I love you, okay? I’ll be two seconds.” Alec helped Magnus to the front seat, and he set him down carefully. Magnus sat silently, still aching all over. Every part of him hurt. Physically and emotionally.

_“I love you too. Just you- and me- and a whole house to ourselves-”_

Magnus’ lip wobbled as Alec helped him get his feet in and pulled the seat belt across. Alec kissed the top of his head and caressed Magnus’ cheek, making Magnus lean into him. As he went to go and lock the door, Magnus reached out with his right arm and caught the sleeve of Alec’s jacket. “Stay with me, Alec. Please- please don’t leave me. Don’t leave me on my own.”

_“-You can’t be left alone. That’s easy. Stay with me. We can have a relaxed first weekend together.”_

Alec leaned back down and hugged him tightly. Magnus’ hands gripped the back of his jacket, still stinging from where his nails had cut into his palms. Magnus was petrified. He’d been ill once before and had lost so many people. He wouldn’t be able to cope if he lost Alec too. “I have to lock the front door, baby. I’ll be one second. I promise.”

Magnus wiped at his face. “Are you going to leave me?”

Alec shook his head. “No, Magnus. I’m going to look after you. I’m not leaving you. Ever.”

Magnus nodded, putting his head back against the headrest. He wanted nothing more than to just curl up, but he couldn’t tuck up his legs until Alec shut the door for him to rest against. He was so tired anyway that his legs weren’t listening to him properly and it took a great effort just for him to move them. 

Alec came back a second later, brushing Magnus’ cheek. He made sure Magnus was in properly and as comfortable as he could be before shutting the car door.

Magnus muttered quietly as Alec slid into the driver's seat and turned the keys in the ignition. When Alec glanced at him and rubbed his arm, Magnus closed his eyes slowly. “Hey, hey, Magnus. Stay with me, okay? Don’t go to sleep. Talk with me, okay?” Alec reversed off the drive, knocking over the empty trashcan. He winced as he hoped he hadn’t marked the car, thinking how Magnus had made fun of his driving. It had been because he had always been scared of being on the road, but this was a different kind of fear. As they pulled out, his foot slammed down on the pedal. “Hey, Magnus? Remember when we were going to the candy store and you fell in my arms? That was funny, right? Remember what I nearly said in front of everyone when we were kissing? How much I embarrassed myself?”

 _-but when Magnus had tripped while Alec was laughing and walking backwards, he’d caught him, and they’d got a bit carried away._  

Magnus spoke quietly, slowly turning to face away so that he could tuck his legs up against the door. He couldn’t find the strength to, so he just turned his body. Alec bit his bottom lip as they joined the main road, watching for a car coming from the other direction before chancing a glance at Magnus again. A Magnus who was silent and leaning against the door, quietly reserved with his eyes closed, was so different to the Magnus he knew. He looked so small and helpless. Magnus was thinking to himself, his head against the window. Alec was trying to distract him. Keep him talking. But he was so tired. He didn’t want to ruin the memory for Alec by saying that tripping wasn’t a good sign for him. Magnus mumbled weakly and picked his head up. He could sense Alec sneaking glances at him. “What about Honey?”

Alec tapped the wheel. “Yes! When we first went to see her?”

_Alec looked at the puppy and then at Magnus as his eyes teared up._

_We're having a baby?"_

Magnus shook his head. “No. We were supposed to pick her up.”

Alec indicated his turn and put his foot down again, letting out a sigh. His heart was still racing. He hated driving. Hated seeing Magnus sick. He hated all of this. “Magnus, it doesn’t matter. You’ll probably only be in a few hours so they can watch you. We can get her tonight and I’ll stay at yours or something.” He spoke softly and smiled to try and reassure Magnus, even though he wasn’t looking. “It could be something to look forward to.”

“What about my school? And my father? He never answers his phone.”

Alec rubbed his eyes. The light was shining and he reached across, pulling Magnus’ sun visor down before doing the same with his own.

“Magnus, don’t worry about anything, okay? Someone at the hospital will get hold of your dad. He’s probably nearly back by now anyway. Don’t worry about your school either. That can be dealt with later.”

Alec took the next turning. It was so easy to worry about all the little things that needed to be done, but they didn’t matter. He just needed to get them both to the hospital in one piece. Of course, he knew that this one journey would probably one of the bravest and yet frightening things he had ever done.

_It remained to be seen that the world would just keep moving along, oblivious to who he was._

_The world didn’t stop for you; it kept going and turning._

***

08:40 AM

Simon checked his watch. Himself and Clary were standing by the school gate and staring out at the crossing where all the pupils walked over. They had planned to walk up the drive with Jace and Isabelle, but they couldn’t see them anywhere. “Si, where are they?”

Simon scratched his neck, jumping because something in his rucksack was digging into him. “Relax. When has Jace ever been early for school?”

“Well he hasn’t exactly had regular hours up until now. What if Alec is sick again?” Clary hopped on her crutches, taking some of her weight off her good leg.

Simon shook his head. “You can’t think like that. They got back really early this morning, Fray. They’re probably just running behind. Will you stop pacing? I know you want to see Jace but you’re making me nervous. We’re going to have to go in a minute anyway if they don’t get here soon.”

Clary looked up the pavement. The crowds of pupils were starting to thin out a bit. They were usually two of the first people at school in the morning, usually going to the library or to get toast from the canteen. Sometimes they’d sit at a table; reading comic books, manga or graphic novels. It usually depended on their mood. “I don’t like it, Si. We promised we would wait for them. They should be here by now. Their dad always likes to make sure that they leave on time.”

Simon looked at his watch again, gesturing for Clary to take her bag off her back and give it to him to carry. One positive to her still being on crutches was that it could give them an excuse to be a little late. “Sorry, Clary, but we have to go. We’re just going to make it as it is.”

Clary hopped on her good leg, speaking sadly and taking one last look. She’d really wanted the chance to speak to Jace and Izzy before break time. “Okaay. Let’s go then.”

***

09:11 AM

The phone rang once and Lily picked up. “Hello?! Hello?!”

“Hey, Lil. It’s me.”

“What’s happened?! Any news?! Where are you?!”

Asmodeus rubbed his eyes, listening to the sound of someone speaking over the radio. “Lily, I literally just left yours. I’m still in the car. I haven’t heard anything. I just wanted to hear your voice. They were right. There’s been an accident somewhere and it’s absolute hell.”

Lily sighed. “You’ll get there. Just stay hopeful. I know you’re worried but he’s brave, As. They probably just need to adjust his medication and he’ll be all back to normal.” She laughed softly. “Poor kid’s gonna sound like a gumball machine.”

Asmodeus chuckled and shook his head. “Poor kid’s been through a lot.”

“Everyone has. Listen- I know it’s probably not going to be at the top of your list right now but when Magnus is a bit better, would you two- do you think you’d like to go somewhere with me? A vacation somewhere. Maybe Magnus could bring his boyfriend with him? If you and his parents agree to it. It might be nice.”

Asmodeus nodded slightly. “Yes. Yes, that would be nice. Magnus’ birthday is in a few months. Maybe if I check with the other boy’s parents, we can surprise them.”

Asmodeus heard the familiar click as Lily switched her kettle on. It was only early but she was already behind on her daily coffee schedule. “Sounds good. It’ll give them something to look forward to.” She smiled. “Us too.”

***

08:31 AM

Alec sighed quietly and looked across the car. Magnus was still facing away but had stopped talking to him a while back. Alec was torn between keeping his eyes on the road and trying not to panic every time that Magnus hesitated between breathing in or out. “Magnus, come on. Stay with me. Remember when you came to see me after my bone marrow transplant? How crazy I was going at being stuck in there? You remember? Huh?”

Magnus mumbled quietly, under his breath. “I don’t want blood tests.”

_Max spoke quietly. “My blood works. You can have some of mine if you want.”_

Alec rubbed his temple. Magnus was having a bit of a mood swing now that the adrenaline had worn off. “Listen, sweetie. I know you don’t want them but it’s for the best. You want to get home, right? And see Honey? And sleep in your own bed? Then you need to be brave and have whatever done that you need.”

Magnus turned and pouted at Alec. He smiled slightly with it not quite reaching his eyes. Alec suspected that he might enjoy being taken care of himself for a change. “I’m not a child, Alexander. ...Off topic but would this bed include you in it?”

“You’re nuts. You know that? Alec chuckled quietly, they were still a little distance away but there were no other cars around. They were just about to reach the bend behind the trees where the creek was. He used to go there with his siblings when they were younger and collect stuff for autumn projects for school. Leaves and various acorns. Their parents always let them have free rein because cars never went there. It was only that Alec knew a shortcut that he’d decided to take the other turning a while back. “Listen, Magnus. I know this isn’t how you imagined our weekend would finish, but what did you say to me once about starting over together? This isn’t the end of anything, okay? It’s a bit of a rough start but we have everything to look forward to. This is just a bump. Do you remember what I said?”

Magnus breathed in and spoke quietly. “We can try to move past our illnesses and start over together. But- that was before all of this.”

Alec smiled, quoting what Magnus had said to him once. “It doesn’t matter. I want a life with you, Magnus, and I will not hear another word. You are going to get better, and we are going to have our happily ever after, okay?”

Magnus groaned with his eyes shut. No matter what happened, he always kept his sense of humour. It was partly what was getting Alec through this journey.

Magnus smiled and blinked his eyes. “Do- yoou- remember what else I said to you once?”

Alec shook his head. “What did you say?”

Magnus smiled, blinking up at the trees that covered them from the view of the road. He really did not want to go to the hospital and was willing to attempt anything, despite the fact that he knew Alec would get his way and that it was for the best.

“Before our date. Would you like to accompany me on a ridiculously over-killed dinner, followed by some ill-advised conduct in a country lane somewhere?”

Alec laughed. “Nice try. How about a date in the hospital cafeteria before they let you home later?”

Magnus grumbled in response and turned back to the window.

_“But things get so difficult sometimes. What do you do? When you find your someone like that?”_

Alec turned back to the road, the leafy trees casting shadows over their faces. The sun was blaring down, and Magnus was trying to ignore it and think about Alec instead. 

_“Alexander, listen to me. There is no one else for me, okay! You are the person I want to be with!”_

_“All I’ve ever wanted, since the day by that damn fountain, is to be by your side.”_

Magnus bolted upright, his hand on the door handle as his eyes darted around. “Alexander... Can you pull over?”

***

8:21 AM

Robert and Maryse grinned at each other as their three of their kids stood in front of them with their hands over their eyes. Maryse placed a hand on Max’s shoulder as Robert crouched on the floor in front of them. “Okay, guys. Alec was supposed to pick her up, but we had a call when we were in the car and an adult over eighteen needs to sign.”

Max and Izzy looked at Robert, squealing with their hands over their mouths. Jace spoke without uncovering his eyes and what he said made Izzy stamp on his foot.

“And does Magnus know that Alec is picking up girls?” Jace pulled his hands away, watching as Robert put the puppy into Max’s arms. Max promptly burst into happy tears and his lip wobbled as she struggled to be let down. Jace and Izzy reached to pet her, but she darted behind Max, peering out at all the strange new people.

Robert cleared his throat. “Guys, maybe it’s actually a bit much for all of us to be here at once. Why doesn’t Max stay here while Mom signs the paperwork and I’ll wait in the car with you?”

Izzy glanced at Jace. Both her and her brother had needed to make some sacrifices along the way but as Max sat down and Honey climbed into his lap, he giggled as she licked his fingers and they knew they could make one more sacrifice and wait outside for a few minutes.

***

08:37 AM       

Magnus crouched on his knees, his hands clutching at the grass on the edge of the road. Alec was at his side, pondering if they should just stop there and call an ambulance but he’d left his phone on the car seat. Magnus was a shade of sickly white he had never seen before and his breathing was raspy as he gagged. Alec was starting to get really worried that they wouldn’t make it there; with Magnus being so sick and with the cars he kept taking his eyes off while he drove. His heart was racing, and he felt like just giving up and crying, despite Magnus telling him that they only had a little further to go. They’d travelled further than he had thought, and he couldn’t just give up now.

“Shhh. I’m here. I’m right here with you.”

_“There you go. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”_

Magnus clutched at his stomach. His dinner from last night and his breakfast were long gone. His body trembled as Alec held his sides.

“You okay? You want help to stand up?” Magnus nodded, too weak to help himself do anything. His ears were fuzzy, and he wasn’t hearing clearly, barely able to make sense of what Alec was saying. Alec lifted Magnus’ arm over his shoulder, the two, broken, boys dragging themselves back to the car. Alec strained as he gathered Magnus into his arms, wondering if it would be better to lie him down on the back seat. It would be more comfortable, but he wouldn’t be able to see him, and he didn’t want to risk him being sick again if he was on his back.

Just as he went to lower him into the passenger seat, Magnus went floppy in his arms and his head rolled back. “Magnus! Magnus! Magnus, sweetie. What’s happening?!” Alec placed him on the seat and Magnus rolled his head towards him, blinking at him in confusion. Alec spoke softly. He was starting to think this was more than just a stomach bug. “Hey, hey. You back with me?”

Magnus’ eyes teared up and Alec leaned down to the bag that was in the middle. He pulled out a packet and cleaned Magnus’ face and hands with a wipe. He’d had the idea to grab them from the bathroom and throw them in Magnus’ bag before they left. “I’m sorry, Alec. You shouldn’t have to do this.”

_Alec sniffled without meeting his parents’ eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that you have to do this.”_

“Be quiet. I love you and it’s my job to take care of you so stop apologising. We’re literally minutes away, alright? You are my world, Magnus and I’m going to get you to help. I’m putting my foot down, okay? So, hang on. I’m going to get you to that hospital if it’s the last thing I do.”

 _“-he is my world and I need to see that he’s okay.”_  

Magnus coughed and shut his eyes. “Can I sleep now?”

Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead and shut the door. He ran quickly to his own, jumping inside and turning the ignition on again, glancing across at Magnus who was curled up. He wanted to say yes. Magnus was so tired. But even though they were only mere minutes away, and it would be a mercy to let him sleep for just a few seconds, he was terrified that if Magnus went to sleep, he wouldn’t be able to wake him up again.

_“I’ll see you when I wake up, okay?” Max burst into tears and Robert rushed to pick him up. Izzy and Jace silently took each other’s hands._

***

08:45 AM

Izzy grinned as she swaddled Honey in her arms. Her brothers had lost the fight to carry her in from the car and Izzy was making the most of the time they had before they got in. Max and Jace were going to rush to get dressed so they could play with her for a few minutes, before they left for school. The school was a five minute walk away and because they’d had to stop and pick up Honey, they were cutting it fine. Robert had told them all to be ready to go in ten minutes which was a little extreme, but he was stern. If he wanted something, it got done. Jace had wanted to take the puppy to show Clary after school but Maryse had insisted that she was only little. She needed a little while to settle in and get used to both houses before she was shown around to friends. “Oh, it’s so nice to have another girl in the house! I’m going to put little bows in your hair!-”

Maryse walked behind Izzy, putting her key in the door. “Ssssh. I want to surprise them. I know you’re excited but try to remember that she’s Alec and Magnus’, okay? They bought her together. You ready?” Izzy grinned into Honey’s fur. Honey ‘woofed’ excitedly and wagged her tail as Maryse pushed the door open. “Guuyys? We’re home! We’ve got something to show you!”

The family piled in. The house was a lot tidier than Maryse and Robert had expected. They didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. Maryse and the kids walked past the kitchen and into the living room. Robert was pulling bags in the door as he whispered to Maryse.

Izzy ran up the stairs while she called them, but she couldn’t hear them anywhere. “Mom! They’re not upstairs!”

Maryse shouted up. “Did you check Alec’s room?!”

Izzy hesitated and shouted back. “...No and I don’t really want to!”

“Knock the door! Maybe check Jace’s?! They have to be here somewhere!”

Izzy’s footsteps could be heard creaking away from and then back to the top of the stairs. “They’re not in Alec’s room!”

Jace walked to the bottom of the stairs and looked up. “Oh, for goodness sake, I’ll go! Anyway, why would they be in my- Oh the love of- YOU BETTER NOT BE MESSING IN MY ROOM!”

As he went up, Robert shook his head at Maryse who was starting to get worried and patted her shoulder to reassure her. They listened to the sound of Jace pushing his bedroom door open with the broom from the landing cupboard. Robert spoke gruffly in Maryse’s ear. “Listen, Mar. Maybe they just went out somewhere and lost track of time. They’re teenagers. Oh, maybe Asmodeus got back early, and Alec went to drop Magnus off at school with him? Try ringing Alec anyway. He always picks up.”

Maryse tapped at her phone for a second. She looked across the living room and put it against her ear. Max was fighting with Honey for his jacket and she made little growls as he laughed.

She paced and shook her head. “He’s not, Robert. He’s not picking up. Where the hell are they?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Sorry for the emotional trauma but hang in there! I stand by my promise of a happy ending x
> 
> This title, like the next two comes from the song 'Body' by SYML, which you're probably familiar with from 3x16. You'll find it is a recurring theme to these few chapters.


	26. I’ll Build You a Home When I Can.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a very sick Magnus in tow, Alec is racing to get to the hospital. There are important questions that need to be asked but can they bear to know the answers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I promised I wouldn't keep you in suspense so here we go! I hope you enjoy and can only apologise again for the emotions caused <3 Please leave a comment on here or with the hashtag #FlutterFic or my twitter handle is @Allie_enigma. Hearing from you guys absolutely means the world to me -Happy reading!
> 
> Song for chapter 26:[ "500 Miles."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU81DihqD0c&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=28&t=0s)

09:07 AM                                  

“Okay, Magnus. Magnus, sweetie, look at me. Wake up for me, okay? We’re almost there. Just a little longer. Please, please don’t go to sleep now. I’m begging you.”

Magnus lifted his head to glance at Alec and narrowed his eyes before turning back again. His hair was sticky against his forehead and as Alec looked at him, Alec’s eyes teared up for the millionth time that day.

Magnus was leaning with his head against the car door. Deathly pale. There hadn’t been a second since they first spoke that Magnus hadn’t wanted to talk to Alec but as specks of light swam through the darkness of his vision, he had a strange thought. He wished that Alec would just stop the car there, carry him to the back and sit on the edge of th trunk, letting him fall asleep in his arms. He’d be warm. Finally, warm. Yes, that was it. He just wanted to fall asleep in Alec’s arms.

“-so, there’s lots of- to look forward to. We’ve- wait a little longer, that’s-”

“Alec, I don’t want to go to hospital. I’m so tired. I just want to go home.” 

_Fresh tears rolled down his face. He was bordering on begging. “Please, Mom, don’t take me back to the hospital.”_

Alec sighed. “Magnus, we’re almost there. You can sleep as soon as we get there.”

“Where are we going?”

Alec’s hands shook and he tightened his grip on the wheel. “The hospital...remember?”

Magnus growled with his right hand over his forehead. “I don’t want it! I don’t WANT to-”

“Magnus, this isn't you. You’re having a mood swing, but you’ll get through it, okay? You’re just upset and not feeling well. You’re not thinking clearly. We’ll get you sorted-”

“I WANT TO GO HOME!”

Alec drove a little faster. “Magnus...you can’t... I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do to make it better.”

Magnus growled again, turning around to face Alec. “It’s not your job to make it better!”

Alec’s breath caught in his chest. Magnus had never raised his voice before. He didn’t care whatever Magnus said to him though, as long as it kept him awake. Magnus could spit any insults at him and Alec wouldn’t take any notice. He didn’t mean any of it. “...Well what am I supposed to do? Answer me, Magnus. Talk to me!” Magnus didn’t respond. He was looking at his hands. His body went rigid again and Alec swore as he tried to keep control of the car. “Shit! Magnus! Magnus! Stay with me! Okay?! We’re almost there. Don’t- Not now- We’re so close!” Magnus’ head was thrown back and his hands were shaking as he slid down in the seat. Alec swore and swerved the car as a horn sounded. There was nowhere to pull over. “Magnus-Magnus. I’m here, okay! We’re nearly there!” His voice broke. “Just- just hold on, okay?”

Magnus relaxed slightly. This seizure didn’t last as long as the others and Alec breathed again as he blinked tears from his own eyes. He was exhausted and his hands were slipping on the wheel.

“Magnus, just stay awake a little longer, okay? Please. I’m begging you. Please don’t go.” Magnus shook his head, closing his eyes, and Alec had an idea. “Magnus...tell me our vows.”

Magnus eyes flickered and he grumbled under his breath. He didn’t have the strength in his arms to pull himself back up in his seat and Alec couldn’t stop. Magnus licked his lips before mumbling quietly. It seemed that no matter how his memory or temperament or hearing was being affected, he’d never forgotten the vows that him and Alec had made to one another. “I promise- to- love-you in good times.”

Alec turned the wheel. “That’s it! That’s it! What’s next?!” 

“And-in bad when everything seems hard." He swallowed. "When our love is simple. And when it is an effort.”

“That’s it! And what did I say to you?”

“I promise to encourage you-” He coughed “-and inspire you- and to love you truly-”

Alec repeated the last line with him. “-through both good times and in bad.” Alec spoke as he breathed out, turning the steering wheel and racing into a parking space near the doors. “Magnus, we’re here. We’re okay. We’re here. We made it.” He breathed out and looked up, wiping his face with his hand. He’d got them both there. Maybe not in one piece but he’d done it. He turned off the engine and pulled the keys ouraced round to open Magnus door, whispered softly as he undid Magnus’ belt. Magnus’ satchel was by his feet and Alec pulled it over his head, the strap across his chest. They’d been told that there would be someone waiting but where was that? In the foyer? On the ward? Should they go to the ER? “Come on, let’s get you inside.” 

Magnus batted his hand away, turning slowly. His left leg dragged as he tried to climb out on his own. “I can walk. I need to-”

“Magnus, you’re not. I’m sorry. Now, come on.”

“I WANT TO WALK!”

Alec rubbed his head, looking behind himself. It was a quiet Monday morning and no one else was around to help. There would be people in the main entrance, but he wasn’t leaving Magnus on his own for even a second. “It’s either a wheelchair or I carry you, Magnus. I’m sorry but we need to go. Now.”

_“I don't care how useless I am, I am not using the fucking chair.”_

Magnus nodded and held up his right arm for Alec to put it around his neck.

Alec moved the satchel strap over his shoulder and scooped Magnus up, jumping a few times to get a better hold of him. Alec kicked the door shut, not even bothering to lock it. His heart was racing, and he felt terrible himself but all that mattered to him was getting Magnus to help.

Magnus muttered quietly, his face against Alec’s chest as he was carried. “Can- I sleep now?”

Alec’s heart stuttered as he hurried along, jumping again to get a better grip. “Yes, you can sleep. Just for a minute though.”

“Are you coming up to bed, Alexander?”

Alec looked down, his feet moving quickly across the carpark. Magnus wasn’t aware of what he was saying but he played along with him. “No. I’m going to stay awake a little longer... You go up to bed though.”

Magnus nodded, burying into Alec. They were so close. So close.

_Alec smiled again. “No. You know I can’t get to sleep without you.”_

And so, Alec ran; his sick boyfriend in his arms. And nothing in the world would have ever convinced him to stop.

***

08:55 AM 

Robert whistled. “Honey! Come here, girl!”

_Where are dem hoomuns? Hmmmm. Oh! Run to food place! Step. Step. Step. Step. Step. Rawwwr! Jump on pillow! Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Honey found food place! Biiiggg hoomun sitting spot in food place. Honey sits! Yes! Honey sits! Honey good girl! Yes she is! Tail! Tail! Aha! Got you! RAWR! Ooh! Hoo-Mom in sitting place. Hoo-Mom barks into talking box. Hoo-Mom looks sad. Like when Honey finished aaalll her food. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. WOAHH! Honey floating up! Hu-Dad! Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Waaggg. Hu-Dad talkin! He asks me queston? ...Honey’s the good girl! Honey’s the good girl! She is! She really is! TREAT! Treat. Treat. Treat. Treat. Treat. Omnomnomnom. Good Hu-Dad! Huh? What behind Hu-Dad’s back? BALLL!! BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL. Honey down! Honey run! Honey run! Honey slideeeee on rug! Honey got ball rawwwrr! Shake. Shake. Shake. Honey show ball to Papa- woof. Papa-woof and Doggo-Dad. Honey be a good girl. She sit. Carry ball. Carry ball. Carry ball. Sit by front door. Wait for Papa-woof and Doggo-Dad to come home. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait._

***

09:13 AM 

As Alec ran through the hospital entrance with Magnus in his arms, a team of four were rushing towards them with a stretcher. Alec had half expected to see them run past but as he stood for a second and tossed Magnus up in his arms, they stopped next to him and one of the two men moved the stretcher for Alec to put Magnus down. When Alec had blinked the tears from his eyes, he noticed that Catarina was one of them who had been waiting. She took Magnus’ bag from Alec and silently rushed in front, handing it to someone. Magnus had told Alec that he’d made contact with her daughter again and Alec thought about what he was going to say to her. He shook his head. It wasn’t important.

He spoke quickly as he ran alongside them. His ears were ringing and he felt sick himself.

“He had a big seizure this morning! Six and a half minutes- and- and two in the car, I think. He went floppy once- he was sick on the way- and- and he had another shaking one like the first, but it only lasted a few seconds.”

The two men and the other woman- doctors? Nodded and spoke to each other as they ran. Alec couldn’t even make out what they were saying. Alec’s heart could have shattered right there; watching as they ran past the fountain with Magnus curled up on the stretcher. The whole entrance was silent, despite being full of patients and visitors that were whispering and shaking their heads with pity. 

Alec didn’t want their pity. He wanted his boyfriend back in his arms.

One of the men turned around for a second. “Has he had any prior symptoms?!”

Alec shouted back. He was struggling to keep up now. His heart was hammering in his chest. “I don’t know! He had an absent seizure yesterday and he mentioned headaches. I don’t exactly know about anything else.”

_Magnus gasped with his forehead against the wall for a second.- “You- you okay?”_

_Magnus laughed and held his thumb up._

_“I’m fine-”_

_“-The bright light is giving me a headache.”_

_-when Magnus had tripped while Alec was laughing_

_Magnus had always struggled with his appetite. But lately, he’d been a lot worse._

_He felt light headed and out of breath._

_He tossed the chocolate one in the air, narrowly catching it._

_He’d forgotten to change out of his slippers._

_He threw the pencil in anger and it broke against the mirror._

_Magnus dropped some of the coins on the floor._

_He groaned and shook out his arm,_

_“Iz. Go on ahead a minute. I’m out of breath.”_

_The little boy ran forward and hugged his legs. Magnus had to put in an effort to keep himself from falling over._

***

09:12 AM 

Robert’s knee was tapping rhymically as he sat opposite Maryse. They’d tried Alec and Magnus’ phones multiple times and had rung the hospital. No one with Alec’s name had been brought in so he couldn’t have been taken ill again. Maryse sighed, putting the phone down and trying to come up with another solution. They were very close to calling the police, but it would be too early for them to do anything yet. Robert scrolled through his phone as Maryse tried Asmodeus’ number again.

“It’s engaged. So, he’s talking to someone.” Maryse gasped with her hand over her mouth. She was so worried. “What do you think that means?”

Jace pulled his head out of the fridge, creasing an eyebrow at the paper that was held up by the magnets. “Mom, I can’t believe I’m saying this but we’re already late for school. “ Maryse had told Izzy to take Max upstairs for a minute and help him get ready.

Robert spoke gruffly, walking over to put a hand on Maryse’s shoulder. “They won’t have gone far. Listen- the kid’s school is only a few minutes away. Why don’t they walk on their own today?” While Jace and Izzy were old enough, there were two main roads to get across on the way, which were risky with Max trailing behind, so they usually went in the car or one of their parents walked with them. “Izzy and Jace can drop Max off on the way.” Robert turned to Jace who was still eating his toast. There were crumbs down the front of his uniform and Robert brushed at them before straightening Jace’s tie. “Would you be okay with that?”

Jace spoke with his mouth half full. “Don’t matter to me. Call when Alec and Magnus turn up though.” Robert looked to Maryse and she shrugged. They listened as Max’s socks hit the floor in the hallway. He always missed the last three steps on the staircase. He jumped into the kitchen, Izzy following behind as she brushed her hair.

“Moooom?! Where are my school shoes?”

Maryse rubbed her face. “I don’t know, Max. Where did you see them la-”

There was a frustrated growl from the hall. Honey ran into the kitchen, pulling Max’s shoes by the laces. Jace and Max always tied each other’s shoes together as a joke, despite their parents telling them that it was going to get one of them killed. Honey pulled them in, grumbling and shaking her head. She noticed everyone watching and sat down with her back legs sticking out either side of her. She panted with a smiley face, wondering why everyone was staring.

Max squealed happily and ran over, making her wag her tail. He sat down next to her and Izzy leaned over, helping Max tie his shoes while Robert spoke to them all. “Right, guys, change of plan. Izzy, you and Jace are going to walk with Max today. You’re old enough but be sensible and watch for traffic. We need to stay here and get to the bottom of what’s going on.”

Izzy stood up straight and Max jumped up, his shoes hitting the ground. Izzy picked up Max’s bag from the table and handed it to him before grabbing her own. She remembered that Magnus had asked where she had got it and she’d forgotten to tell him. “Mom? Dad? Is everything okay?” Maryse and Robert met eyes across the room. “You can tell us, you know?”

Robert held out his hand. “Come on, Max. Mom put the toy you bought for Honey in her bag. Why don’t we go see what she thinks?” Max nodded excitedly and ran out, Robert and Honey following behind.

Maryse turned back to Jace and Izzy. “We don’t know what’s happening but I’m sure it’s nothing. We’re ringing around and Alec and Magnus will be back in no time. We just need you two to take Max to school. I can pick him up tonight if you want to go somewhere with Simon and Clary. I promise one of us will ring as soon as we know anything.”

Izzy nodded. She looked nervous and Jace took her hand. He was never usually affectionate with his siblings, but he knew how to comfort them when they needed it. He smiled and Izzy placed her hand on top of his. “Come on, Iz. We can get through this. I’ll be with you the whole time.”

***

09:27 AM 

They ran down the corridor and burst through the double doors, into a large room with monitors and equipment. Because of Magnus’ history and the length of his seizure, they had been updated by the paramedics and were already waiting for him. Some doctor was also there who Alec had seen Magnus speaking to before. They moved Magnus from the stretcher to the bed; two people lifting him like a ragdoll. Alec watched silently. Catarina had disappeared somewhere, and everyone was rushing around, not taking in the boy who was standing by the door in his pyjamas. One doctor was putting a cannula in Magnus’ hand, to get him on a drip and another was hooking him up to a monitor. One had cut down the front of Magnus’ pyjama top.

... His favourite one.

One of the doctors shone a torch in Magnus’ eyes, bringing Alec back to his senses. “His pupils are unequal.”

Alec’s heart raced. “What- what does that mean!?”

The doctors all turned around, finally remembering that he was there. Alec stood there numbly as they read out of Magnus’ notebook. Catarina came running back with a paper, showing it to the doctor. His eyes skirted over it and he passed it to another. He whispered to Catarina, looking around her to Alec.

Catarina nodded and turned around. “Alec, come with me to the family room. You must be cold in those shorts- I can get you a drink-”

Alec’s eyes filled up as Catarina tried to touch his arm. He pulled away, looking at the crowd around Magnus. He stepped back, bumping into a nurse who dropped the box of gloves she was carrying. “Sorry- NO! I’m not leaving him!”

“Alec, come on. You’re not helping-”

“I promised I would stay with him!” Alec put his hands over his mouth. “He- Said ‘stay with me’. -I promised! I PROMISED HIM!”

Catarina knew of the harsh words that some of the doctors could come up with if Alec didn’t listen. Their only interest was with treating their patient. She knew both Alec and Magnus; their stubborn commitment to each other- and how it wouldn’t help anyone if they tried to take Alec out. Alec wasn’t going to be moved by any force that they threw at him. His love and dedication to Magnus was stronger than that.

Catarina walked forward, speaking softly to Alec. The doctors were discussing what the monitor was showing and talking to each other with words that Alec didn’t understand. She looked up as she stood by him. It was strange in having to be so gentle with the young boy who was actually taller than her. “Listen, Alec. You want what’s best for Magnus, right? He won’t want you here, looking upset. I bet you haven’t eaten or drank anything all morning-”

Alec grumbled. “What makes you say that?”

She spoke softly, pulling him to the side and looking at his hand while she turned him to look away. She knew they were about to give Magnus an injection and she didn’t want Alec to see it. “You’re shaking. Low blood sugar.”

Alec clenched his fist, looking over her shoulder. “How do you know that it’s not just because I’m upset?”

She turned his head back with her finger against his chin. “I’m a nurse, Alec. You’re clammy and the paramedics gave us the time you rang this morning. I bet you were either about to have or were having breakfast when it happened. Come on. You’ll only end up feeling faint and we don’t need another patient to look after, do we? We’ll get you sorted, and I promise you that they’ll tell you if anything happens. You have to remember that you’re only just in remission-” Alec noted she didn’t use the word ‘yourself.’ “Besides, It’s the end of my shift. Let me show you the family room with the good coffee machine and I’ll wait with you until we hear something.”

Catarina guided Alec around the corner. He turned to look back every few steps until Magnus disappeared from his sight. She opened one of the doors and Alec followed her inside as she pulled up a chair. Alec sat down and put his head in his hands. Now the chaos was over, she was unsure of what to say to him. Part of being a nurse was learning how to communicate but she was clueless at this moment in time. You could try and say what you wanted but nothing ever really brought comfort to a person who’s loved one was being treated. “They’ll take good care of him, you know?”

Alec nodded, wiping his face. “I know. I’m just so scared-” He choked to get his words out. “And- and-what if-” Catarina switched on the coffee machine and the jug started filling up with black coffee. She pulled out two cups as Alec rubbed his face. He didn’t want Catarina to see him cry. “I don’t want coffee, thanks. I can’t sleep without Magnus as it is. Can I have a water?”

Catarina nodded and walked over to the water cooler. She filled up a plastic cup and carried it over to Alec, sitting down next to him and putting her free hand on his back. He was still leaning forward with his head in his hands, but he relaxed as she rubbed his back gently. “No, ‘What- if’s’, Alec. There’s no point in jumping to any conclusions until we hear from the doctors. Now, come on. Have a drink. Just a few sips.” Alec sat up, taking the cup from her. He drank a little and screwed up his face, remembering how the hospital water always tasted like chemicals.

“You know, my sister told me something once. She wasn’t trying to be a downer or anything- It was just something Magnus said in passing to her. They’d been sleeping in the family room while Jace was having his bone marrow taken and when they woke up in the morning, Magnus was taking his medication-”

Catarina tilted her head. “What was it?”

Alec took another sip and grimaced before tapping the cup. It tasted horrible but he hadn’t realised how dry his mouth was. “He said. ‘There’s survivors. Not winners.’ ...Is this how it’s always going to be? Always like a shadow behind us?” Catarina shook her head sadly. Everyone always assumed that once a person had the all clear and came home that they just magically moved on and forgot about what they had been through. Some did but she herself had been sick as a teen and still to that day panicked and jumped to worse case scenarios if she was ill and didn’t know what was causing it. “-Catarina, it’s like. I never told anyone, not even Magnus but I have bad dreams-and I think I have panic attacks sometimes- and-and I can’t be in enclosed spaces because I have flashbacks to the scanner... I want to tell you something but it’s a little embarrassing...”

“Alec, I’m a nurse. I promise you can tell me anything. I won’t say a word.”

Alec sighed, his face turning slightly red. “Well, me and Magnus were kind of alone all weekend, and we went- in the shower together a few times. I always jumped out first because I can’t even stand staying in the shower for more than a few minutes at a time. I’m supposed to be happy with Magnus around but once I got out- it was like I couldn’t breathe. The last time especially. I had to ask him to go and get stuff for me so I could sit down and stop panicking. What if it never goes away? I hate lying to him…”

Catarina listened quietly. Alec was finally giving in and letting someone know how he felt. It was such a huge step for him. “Alec, I think you just need to be honest. Magnus loves you but sometimes it’s the most difficult to talk to those who are closest to us. I’m sure Magnus hasn’t been totally honest with you either and I think you know that. I’m sure things will change once he’s better but that’s relationships for you. You work at them and you learn to be better together.” Alec nodded and took a few deep breaths, followed by another sip of water. Catarina paused, changing the topic. “Alec… I really think we need to get you some help, okay? More than just drop in sessions. I can speak to someone  and get them to come and talk to you. Magnus too if he wants. Someone more specialised in post trauma in teens. Would you like that?”

Alec nodded, wiping his face. “Yes. I think I need some help. It’s just. I feel so helpless right now...”

She put her hand on Alec’s shoulder, making him look at her. His eyes were welled up with tears, but she could see the difference; this wasn’t sadness. This was relief.

“Do you know how strong you are? You’re still here and it counts for so much. And you’re far from helpless, Alec. You did everything right with Magnus today. You helped him through his seizures and managed to get both of you here. We had to speak with control to get the information and they said you handled everything as perfectly as you could. You have to remember, Alec that you’re still fighting in your own way. You’re only just recovering and not many teens with a clean bill of health would have been able to do what you did today. I know it’s a long journey and it’s been tough, but it’s made you appreciate what you have. Your family- what’s important to you.” She smiled. “Magnus is so proud of you, Alec. I know he is. I am too. He looks at you like you hung the stars.”

Alec chuckled, wiping the tears down his face. His mind was still racing with concern for Magnus, but it felt so good to have finally got some of this out in the open. Speaking with Catarina had been exactly what he had needed. Maybe today would be the worst day of his life but it was hopefully going to set them in the right direction. Maybe, one day, everything would be okay again.

***

09:39 AM 

Magnus eyes flickered and he groaned on his back. All he could see were strips of light and all he could feel was the gentle bump as he was pushed along the corridor. Someone, somewhere said something to him. All he could hear was echoes and he just wanted to know if Alec was okay from the scare he’d had from getting them both there. He felt himself getting worked up, so he just thought of some happy memories to pass the time. 

-Izzy grinning at him in disbelief.

_“Iz. They’ve got a match.”_

-Alec’s crazy messaging and the first time he told him he loved him . 

_“-I really, really love Magnus. Like a lot. But you can’t tell him I said that cuz Ima tel, him when I get to hug him again-”_

\- Talking with Maryse while they sat down.

_“-I would give every cell I have for Alec to get better and come home.”_

\- And finally, something Maryse had said back to him, herself. Something, until now, he had used to keep himself going while he was healthy. Now he was unwell, he found himself using it as a tool to get better again. It worked both ways.

_“-there’s something special between you two. Everyone can see it. You give him a reason to keep going.”_

So that’s what Magnus did. He kept fighting; knowing that if he held on longer, he would get to see his precious Alexander again.

***

08:40 AM 

“Clary, I think we’re going to be late.”

Clary stopped hopping on her crutches. She stretched her neck and looked at the blisters that were developing on her fingers. “Si- I can’t- I need a second- go on ahead. Jace and Izzy have a different lesson than me and you so it looks like we’ll have to catch up later. When they actually get here, that is.”

Simon nodded. Him and Clary had been late before, since breaking her leg, and their teachers were understanding.

Simon ran ahead and turned back when he heard a shout, stopping in his tracks with Clary’s bag trailing by his side. He could only describe what he saw as a bolt of golden lightning across the school yard. Jace was sprinting towards Clary, Izzy mirroring Simon exactly with Jace’s bag in her own hand as she stood opposite. Jace bolted towards Clary; rambling quickly about being late and missing her and how he’d brought her colouring pencils, all said in one breath. Clary laughed as Jace crashed into her, her crutches falling to the ground. Izzy met eyes with Simon, laughing and waving shyly as she wiggled her fingers. Simon waved back and shielded his eyes in mock horror. Jace had Clary’s face between his hands and they were both grinning as they kissed in the middle of the school yard. Izzy eventually had to rush in and pull Jace away and Simon laughed as he watched Clary, who was cracking up with laughter, and Izzy who was jumping up and down every time that Jace tried to run back to kiss Clary again.

Simon shot on ahead. They were already late, and he needed to get both his own and Clary’s marks for the morning before registration closed and they’d have to sign in at reception. They were a strange group of friends, gathered through a bunch of unfortunate situations, but he wouldn’t change any of it for the world. It had brought them all together and he didn’t plan on letting any of them go. Even if Jace might need a ‘big brother’ style speech later for his conduct on the school yard, he made Clary happy and that was good enough for Simon.

***

10:11 AM 

The next thing Magnus recognised was a whirring above him and a faint clanking sound. There was a faint voice that spoke through something by his head, but he didn’t know what it was what they were trying to say. He stopped moving back and forth after a minute and a person put their head down by his own, tapping his shoulder and mouthing something to him. Magnus narrowed his eyes and they looked back across the room, shaking their head in the direction of what he presumed was a glass window with people sitting behind. Magnus was too tired to care who or what or why. He closed his eyes again and let the warm comfort of sleep brush over him, going back to his happy memories of Alexander.

_Magnus smiled as he looked back and forth across the hallway. “It’s clear.” Alec rushed forward, and they kissed each other quickly through their opposite sides of the glass._

_Magnus nodded shyly. “I promised you a dance. So, I brought the dance to you.”_

_"Why don’t we wait these two weeks -after that, then we’ll start our relationship together. Nothing attached. No medication or hospital visits. Just two guys who get to go on long drives and amazing dates together. What do you say?”_

***

10:44 AM 

There was a knock on the door and Alec’s head darted up. Catarina was holding out a plate of biscuits and set them down on the coffee table. A person that Alec hadn’t seen before walked in and shut the door, sitting down opposite them. Catarina held onto Alec’s hands as they both stared and the man cleared his throat. “I’m Charlie Cooper. I’m one of the paediatric neurosurgeons-” _Neurosurgeons?_ “-We’ve carried out some blood tests and an MRI scan on Magnus-”

Alec tilted his chin forward, barely holding himself back from snatching away the file that the doctor was carrying. The doctor handed it to Catarina, and she’d lifted a clipped piece of paper to read something. Alec couldn’t see what was written and glanced at them both, holding out his hands. “Well?!”

The doctor looked to Catarina again before he spoke. “His father is still on his way. He’s signed the procedure forms with the police. They’re bringing him in now.” Catarina nodded and Alec looked between them, wishing they wouldn’t talk like he wasn’t there.

“What about Magnus?! Can I see him?!”

The doctor nodded. “Yes. We have some preliminary results, but your boyfriend has said that he wants you to be with him when he hears them.”

Alec stood up, setting his empty cup down. “Well?! Let’s go!”

“Alec, sit down for a second.” Catarina held up her hand.

Alec put his hand against his chest. “What-what-what is it?!”

The doctor cleared his throat again, adjusting his tie. “It’s likely to be caused by the seizures but Magnus has been- compromised a little. It’s nothing to worry about-”

“What does that mean?! You’re frightening me!” Catarina reached for Alec’s hands, making soothing sounds to calm him down. She looked to the doctor and once Alec had settled slightly, he nodded and spoke.

“Alec, Magnus is having problems with his hearing-” Alec looked at them both and he carried on. “-He’s okay. We don’t know how long it will last though. He’s okay if it’s quiet but we’ll have to run some tests. We’re having to write things down for him and he’s pretty upset-”

“-take me to him!”

Catarina rubbed her temples. Her daughter was in school, but she needed to go home and sleep before her next shift. The surgeon stood up to leave, followed by Alec and she opened the door for them both. She placed a reassuring hand on Alec’s shoulder as they left, handing the file back to the surgeon. Alec nodded and thanked her. Once again, she was unsure about what she could say to him but at least him and Magnus would find out everything together.

Alec tried to take deep breaths as him and the surgeon walked in silence. Eventually his curiosity and longing for Magnus got the better of him and he spoke, interrupting the quiet of the empty hallway. “You’re a surgeon? Does that mean Magnus is having an operation?”

The surgeon licked his lips. “I can’t discuss Magnus’ results without him present.”

Alec sighed and carried on walking, thinking of the second he had first spotted Magnus and how much they had been through together already. By the very fountain that they ran past today. Alec had been lonely and miserable and had just wished to have someone in the world who understood him and stood by him. He found himself wondering again if he could go back to the fountain and have another go. Ask for Magnus to be better again. Something told him that you only got one shot.

_He sat down and fished a penny from his change. The bottom of the fountain was covered in pennies and he closed his eyes before tossing it in. He looked further down the bench and spoke softly._

_“Hey. Are you okay?”_

He’d always imagined that he would be the sick one. It had been all that they’d really known since they met and now the roles were reversed. He remembered something else that Magnus had said to him when they met. It seemed painfully ironic after the heartache he had been through today.

_“Alexander Lightwood, it would be an absolute privilege to have my heart broken by you.”_

The surgeon stopped in the corridor and pushed a door open. Magnus was lying on a bed in the corner and Alec raced to him, nearly knocking everything over. Magnus’ breathing stuttered as Alec hugged him tightly. “Alexander.”

“Magnus, I love you so much! It’s so good to see you!”

Magnus blinked at him and welled up, barely able to make out the words in the quiet room. “I love you too.”

_“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.” He held out his hand. “I’m Magnus. Magnus Bane”_

_Alec smiled. “Alexander- Alec Lightwood.”_       

***

10:06 AM 

Izzy rolled her eyes as Simon sat down next to her, offering her something from a small white bag of pic-a-mix. “And Jace called Alec gross…”

Simon lifted his head. Jace and Clary were walking over to them. Jace was carrying Clary’s bag and was gushing while he explained something, gesturing with his hands and making her snort with laughter as she hopped on her crutches. Izzy was still worried out of her mind. She hadn’t got much work done in her first two lessons with Jace, even though he’d kept insisting that everything was fine. Sometimes his laid back personality was a blessing. Sometimes it was a curse.

Jace and Clary finally reached them and Jace helped her to sit down. They’d commandeered this particular spot on the floor a while back and they always came here at breaks. It was close enough to both the library and the gym. It was also shaded enough that Clary didn’t end up burning, even when the sun was really bright.

Neither Simon nor Clary had spoken with Jace or Izzy properly yet, so Izzy had been pleasantly surprised to get to their spot and already find Simon waiting. Clary had been late out due to having an extra-curricular art lesson before break. She’d been selected for some project that was being kept secret so Jace had gone to find her and walked her from her class.

“So, guys-” She clapped her hands together. “How was your weekend away? Jace told me about the puppy! I can’t wait to meet her!” Jace met eyes with Izzy and she opened her mouth, unsure of what to say.

Simon looked between them and grinned. He’d also been told about the puppy by Isabelle but took their silence to mean that there’d been an argument or something while they were away. “That bad, huh? Family holidays can be-”

Izzy shook her head, making Simon go silent which was usually a difficult ask. Jace adjusted himself as he sat, looking to see if another group of pupils were sitting close to them. He whispered and looked between the other three. “When we got home this morning, Alec and Magnus weren’t there…”

Simon looked between them and laughed. Clary recognised Jace’s worried expression and reached for his hands, making Simon guess that it wasn’t the right tone for the conversation. “Okaayy, so they were at Magnus’? I know it’s not where they’d said they’d be but surely your parents can’t be-” He went quiet and Clary spoke, Simon finally realising that the situation was more dire than he had first thought. “So...do they have ANY idea where they are?”

Jace shook his head. “Mom and Dad tried everything. Neither of them are answering their phones and they couldn’t get hold of Magnus’ Dad…”

Clary held his hands and shook them gently, her thin bracelets clattered on her wrist. “I’m sure it’s nothing, okay? They’ll be back soon with some crazy story. Sure, your parents will be mad, but at least they’re together, right? They’ll keep each other safe.”

Jace nodded and chuckled. “Yeah. They probably wanted some more time together or got carried away and woke up somewhere. They’re crazy about each other.”

Simon put his hand on Izzy’s shoulder, speaking softly as Clary and Jace laughed, speculating wild theories about where they could have gone off to. Clary and Jace were a perfect balance. Always reassuring or grounding one other when they needed to. “Hey, Iz. It’ll be okay.”

She smiled back, putting her hand over Simon’s. “Yes, I know. As long as they’re together, right? They’re a team. God help anything that tries to mess with Alec and Magnus.”

***

11:04 AM 

Alec had been asked by the doctors to step outside for a second, which he thought was unnecessary, but when he returned, Magnus had been put into a hospital gown. Alec walked in and Magnus held up his arms. It was a little big on him. Asmodeus had laughed when Magnus had complained he was shorter than Alec, although he didn’t mention how crazy it made him because he had to go on tiptoes to kiss him properly. Asmodeus had told him that he’d had a growth spurt himself when he was around Magnus’ age so he would probably catch up.

Alec sat down next to Magnus while they waited for the surgeon to come back. The room was silent, but Alec still knew he would have to speak clearly. Having hearing problems would be huge for Magnus. A loss of identity. He didn’t want to have to comfort him and tell him that it would come back perfectly once he had recovered if there was a chance it wouldn’t. Magnus bumped his right foot against Alec’s leg before bumping their heads together. His own legs were hanging over the edge of the bed and he turned for the first time to properly look at Alec. Magnus spoke a little more loudly than he needed to. “...Have you seen my father?”

Alec shook his head, moving closer to him and putting his arm around his lower back. He pulled Magnus to him and kissed him quickly. “No. They said the police are bringing him. I heard them say he was at Lily’s but her house is a few hours away, so I don’t know when he’ll get here but-”

The door opened and Alec went silent. The surgeon walked in and a single nurse followed behind him, sitting in the corner as she wrote something down. “Okay. I have some preliminary results from your MRI scan-” He handed over a piece of paper and Magnus took it, Alec holding the other side with his fingers. The surgeon breathed in and rubbed his eyes, pointing to the right side image of Magnus’ brain. “We have identified what we believe to be a small mass- It’s on the right hand side so it’s affecting the left hand side of your body-” 

Magnus looked at his left hand and moved his fingers mechanically. They weren’t responding to how he wanted, and he pouted his mouth in frustration. Alec was staring away, looking at the wall with his mouth open. Numbness washed over him until Magnus spoke quietly in confusion, making him turn his head. “Small mass? What-what does that mean?”

Alec looked at the surgeon and picked up Magnus’ left hand. Magnus placed his right over the top as Alec closed his eyes. “Magnus… They’ve found a tumour…” 

“No. No. They couldn’t-”

“Magnus-”

“NO! They’ve done something wrong! It can’t be- there’s- I- It’s not true-”

Alec’s heart shattered as his voice cracked, tears spilling over his face. “Magnus, I’m so sorry.”

Magnus put his right hand over his mouth and burst into tears. Alec moved closer, wrapping his arm over his shoulder and letting Magnus sob against his chest. Tears ran down both of their faces and Magnus shook as he clung to Alec’s top. Alec glanced up and the surgeon nodded with sadness in his eyes. “It’s okay. Take the time you need to process.”

Alec wiped Magnus’ cheek with his thumb and turned back to the surgeon. “What does this mean going forward?”

“We-” Magnus gasped as tears rolled down his face. He looked up at the surgeon and Alec kissed his head. “We want to take you to surgery, Magnus. As soon as there’s a slot free. It shouldn’t be very long, and we’ll get you prepped, ready to go. Your Father is on his way- with the police- he’s signed the consent forms needed for your procedure-and we can absolutely wait for him if you really want to but-” He picked up the paper again and pointed to the shaded circle on the scan. “The tumour is located in a... sensitive location. You’ll have a much higher chance of a full recovery, the sooner we attempt to remove it. I have a document with risks of the surgery if you want a look-”

Magnus shook his head, closing his eyes. He hugged Alec as closely as he could with one properly functioning arm. He just wanted to be held. Without this stupid surgeon telling him all the things that were going wrong inside his head. Magnus licked his lips as he leaned into Alec. Both physically and metaphorically, Alec was the only thing holding him up. “Do you think it’s the same as before?”

Dr. Cooper thought for a second. “...You said you’ve been having symptoms for a while?”

_“I got drunk last night even though I hate drinking, and now my head hurts.”_

_-he was getting so worked up that he dropped the pen twice._

_-it didn’t help the hollow feeling in his chest, or the ache in his head._

_Magnus shouted back. “They’re my friends! I will raise my voice at you!“ He gestured with his hand, knocking over a glass or orange juice that he hadn’t realised was there._

_Asmodeus stared back in shock. Magnus was usually so placid._

_Magnus’ head was pounding and the light from the kitchen window was hurting his eyes._

_He reached for the bag and swore as he dropped half of them across the floor and the passenger seat._

_Driving always made his legs go numb._

_He dropped his keys and fumbled to pick them up. He’d slept awkwardly on his arm-_

Magnus nodded, tears running down his face. The surgeon reached behind and grabbed a box of tissues. The nurse had walked out at some point. Alec pulled a few out and passed a couple to Magnus before taking some for himself. “Well we won’t know what it is until we take it out. It’s impossible to say just from a scan but as you know, your previous Glioblastoma was very quick growing. If this has been happening over a long time, then maybe it’s not the same. It’s too early to tell and I don’t want to get your hopes up in any way but if we do the surgery tonight, we should have the biopsy reports by tomorrow and then you’ll have a definite answer.”

Magnus sobbed into his hand. “I can’t go through it again, Alexander. I can’t if it’s the same again.”

Alec let out a shaky breath, hugging Magnus as tightly as he could. “We don’t know anything yet but even if it came to that, you’re strong. You can beat anything. I’m going to be with you through it all and you’ve got this, okay?”

Magnus nodded and the surgeon found himself surprised. How a few words from Alec could comfort Magnus and reassure him as easily as that. “What about my arm- and my leg- and- my hearing?!”

“It all depends on the outcome of the surgery. Like I said, the sooner we get it out, the better. You will need extensive physio on your left arm and leg but try and stay hopeful. We’ll have to just wait and see with your hearing. It depends on the long term effects of the seizures, which can vary from person to person. We’ll also need to give you radiotherapy, chemo or both depending on the type of tumour. It appears to be slow growing though so I’m optimistic for you.” There was a beep and the surgeon pulled his pager from the pocket of his pants. “It seems a slot in the OR has been made available. Are you all okay to go ahead?”

***

11:20 AM 

_Oh, they’ve been gone so looongg. Oh, Honey still by door. Who’s der?! Hu-Dad is behind me? Oh yes! He is! Tuuuurrnnn. Walk. Waaalk. Waaaalk. Oh Hu-Dad, where’s Papa-woof and Doggo-Dad? I wait like good girl. I do! I do! Oh! Up! Up! Up in the air!! Pat Pat. Where we goin? WOAH! Honey up high! Hu-parents still waiting. They still bark in talking boxes. They looking for Papa-woof and Doggo-Dad me thinks. Woah! New place! Hu-Dad put on talking box. Honey sit by Hu-Dad on high place. Honey snif. Honey- oh! What Honey find here?! Something smell like Papa-woof. Something stuck down cushion. Papa- woof’s humun shurt. How dat get ther? Honey have shurt too. And a hat like Doggo-Dad. The best hat. I wear it to pond. Sniff sniff. Honey put head down. Lie on Papa-woof’s shurt. Honey protec and sleep on shurt until Papa-woof gets it back. She be a good gurl and wait. She look after it for him. Yawwwn._

***

11:32 AM 

The two young men went down to the OR together. They knew there would be a point where Alec couldn’t go any further, but they were trying not to think about it until the time came. Alec was walking beside Magnus, who was being pushed on the hospital bed. He’d wanted to walk himself, not only out of self-perseverance but because he had also wanted to walk while holding Alec’s hand. He’d argued tooth and nail about it, but his left leg couldn’t take any weight, so he had no choice in the matter. Alec leaned forward, talking in Magnus’ ear as he tried to keep up, reaching for Magnus’ hand in the silent corridor. “Magnus...Are you scared? You know I’m here for you?”

Magnus shook his head, speaking groggily as he leaned backwards. The two nurses behind them, the one pushing and the one assisting, had been talking quietly but they were now listening in silence. “Thank you. Am I scared of the surgery? No. Maybe of finding out what it is, yes. But getting upset won’t change what it is. I’ll just deal with what they tell us and get on with it.”

Alec nodded, not sure what else to say. Magnus’ determination to stay positive in any situation was one of the things he loved about him. The surgeon had disappeared while the two nurses had come in to get things sorted out. As the sides of Magnus’ hair was cut short, they said he was unlikely to need it shaved any more, but he would have staples in for a while after the surgery. He’d end up with another scar but there was nothing they could do. It wouldn’t be coverable like the one in the middle of his head but would fade slightly and become less obvious as time went on. Alec had kissed him softly while brushing his cheek and had told him that he was beautiful, regardless, making the two nurses coo over how sweet they were together.

Eventually, they turned the corner and came to the sign that pointed to the OR. Magnus glanced up as the nurses stopped walking. “Well, here we are.”

The two nurses nodded to each other and walked around the bed. One went on ahead while the other spoke next to Magnus’ ear. “We’ll give you two a minute, okay?” She followed behind the other nurse to tell the prep room that they were there. Magnus would be put under anaesthetic in the room adjoining the operating theatre and then be moved.

Alec put his arms around Magnus’ neck holding him tightly. He kissed Magnus’ forehead, his nose, his cheek, his lips. Magnus felt as Alec’s tears mixed with his own. Magnus nodded and licked his lips, neither of them knowing quite what to say now that they were there. “I’ll talk with your dad when he gets here. I’ll be right outside on the bench, okay?”

Magnus looked at him, leaning his face into Alec’s palm. “It’s going to be a long time. Why don’t you go home? Your family is probably going crazy and- you must be exhausted.”

Alec shook his head, kissing him again. “I’ll ring my mom in a minute. I promised that I would stay with you and that’s what I’m doing. I’ll see you when you wake up, okay? Give you the biggest hug.” Magnus looked down sadly and Alec tilted his chin to make him look at him. “Hey. I won’t lose you. I can’t. I’ll be with you through everything, okay? Whatever happens. I’ll see you when you wake up.”

Magnus smiled slightly and nodded. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

One of the nurses came back, looking apologetic. Alec and Magnus nodded at each other and bumped their foreheads together. Alec kissed Magnus softly, with his hands either side of his face and moved away, waving back as the nurse pushed the bed around the corner. Now that they were gone, Alec finally stood alone in the silent corridor, his hands hanging by his sides.

_“They removed the tumour and I was lucky. I had radiotherapy and chemo for a year and now I’m a year into remission.”_

***

“Okay, you ready?” Magnus nodded as the anaesthetist walked towards him. “Think of something nice while you go to sleep. Anything you’re looking forward to for when you’re better?” Magnus nodded and smiled, meeting eyes with the nurse next to him who grinned, trying to reassure him.

_It is only when you have been so close to dying, that you can truly open your eyes and start living._

“Lots of adventures, I think.”

The anaesthetist nodded, putting the syringe into Magnus’ cannula. “Anywhere special?”

Magnus nodded, feeling woozy for a second as he took deep breaths. His speech was muffled as a mask was placed over his face. “I don’t- mind where. Some long drives maybe. I like- I like travelling.”

_The air was arid. Mixed with the smell of tires and the pizza boxes that were on the back seat. The scent of freedom and second chances._

“That’s good. Where’s your favourite place to be?”

Magnus mumbled and the lights above him went hazy as he smiled. He’d been asked this before but this time he didn’t have a location in mind. His favourite place wasn’t a point on any map. It was a sweet smile, a pair of warm arms and two beautiful, hazel eyes.

_Twelve beautiful months of remission._

***

12:40 PM 

“Robert, I think it’s time we called someone and reported them missing. Alec never would have gone this long without contacting us.” Robert rubbed his eyes, knowing that the police wouldn’t be interested until they’d been gone for 24 hours. He didn’t know what they would do if it came to that. Maryse was reaching for her phone, off the kitchen table, when the house phone started ringing. Both Robert and Maryse rushed for it, Maryse picking it up from the stand. “Hello?!”

“Hey, Mom... It’s me.”

Maryse gasped with her hand over her mouth, nodding to Robert who breathed a sigh of relief with his hands on the back of his neck. “Alec, sweetie. I don’t care what has happened. Just come home and we-”

Alec’s voice broke. “Mom...I’m at the hospital.

Maryse’s hand started shaking as it went to her mouth. Robert’s eyes widened and he tilted his head forward. “Is everything okay?! Are you both alright?!” Alec’s voice shook and it only took one glance from her for Robert to realise that something was wrong.

“Magnus had a little health scare-” Alec sat back down and rubbed his eyes. He’d been allowed to use the hospital phone because his was still in the car and he didn’t want to leave. The phone was in the family room that was next to the OR but the cord stretched long enough that he could sit on the arm of the couch.

“Health scare?! What- what- is he okay?!”

Alec finally broke down, letting everything out that he’d been too afraid to show in front of Magnus. He curled his legs up, putting them up on the arm of the seat. He curled his arm around his knees and put his forehead against them. “No… No, he’s not-” Maryse lips quivered and as her hands shook, Robert pulled a chair over for her. She sat down and Robert knelt down in front of her, listening to the quiet voice from the phone. “Mom-” Alec sobbed. “He’s in surgery…” He sniffled. “He’s got a brain tumour again… He had seizures this morning and- and I thought I was going to lose him. I had to drive us both and- and there were cars everywhere- I was so scared, Mom.”

Maryse relaxed her arm with a blank expression, lowering the phone. Robert took it from her hand, watching helplessly as she moved and sat down at the kitchen table with her palms over her eyes. “Hey, buddy. It’s Dad…”

“Dad, I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared-” Alec’s voice broke. “I love him so much, Dad!”

Robert nodded. Maryse had her hands over her head and her shoulders were shaking. “I know you do, Son. I know. How long has he been in surgery for?*

Alec gasped as he wiped his face. “Two hours. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I fell asleep for a bit and- and- I’ve been so worried- I can’t think straight and I understand if-”

“Alec, Alec! Listen- It’s okay. We’re just glad we know where you are. I’ll ring Magnus’ dad and speak to him. Is he there?”

Alec sniffled and shook his head. “He’s on the way.”

“Stay strong, okay? We love you- and Magnus. If you want us to come get you-”

Alec shook his head, wiping his nose. “I’m staying. Dad- I’ll call when I know anything.”

Robert nodded. “We love you. Both of you.”

“I love you too. We... both do.” Alec sniffled.

Robert waited for Alec to hang up before walking over to Maryse. He put his arm over her shoulder and held her tightly. This may have been one of the most difficult things that they’d have to go through, but they’d been through hardship before and they were all going to get through it as a family.

***

1:32 PM 

“Forget what Simon says about cafeteria food being full of rubbish, I challenge you to make tater tots that are anywhere near as good as these!” Izzy grinned, sticking her fork in her mouth. Simon looked miserably at his sandwich, refusing to give in and try one. Clary looked past them. The cafeteria was crowded but she could just make out Jace as he left the hall. He was fighting to get away from the crowd as he spoke on his phone. They knew his phone had gone off an hour ago, but they had been going into their fourth class of the day and Jace had put his phone in his bag. He hadn’t seen the missed calls until now and they were all worrying but Simon had tried to argue that if anything major had happened, they probably would have been called to reception and would have been picked up by their parents. Clary wasn’t so sure.

Clary looked back to the table and smiled as Izzy shoved her plastic fork at Simon, making him laugh. He ate the potato and thought for a second. “Okay. They are good. Hey Fray, why don’t- what are you looking at?” 

Clary looked over Simon’s shoulder, making him turn around. Jace was rushing to the table, brushing his hair back over his head. Izzy turned to face him as she spoke. “Was that Mom?! Is Alec okay?!”

The hall went silent around them. Jace’s lip wobbled and he hung his phone by his side. “Yeah. They got hold of him.”

Izzy breathed a sigh of relief but noticed that Simon and Clary were still blinking at him. She turned back and her heart thundered in her chest. “Jace? What is it?”

Jace rubbed his face, holding back tears. “It’s Magnus. Guys... he’s- he’s had some kind of relapse.”

***

2:35 PM  

 _“Aleeeec?”_   

Alec’s eyelids moved as he lay on the cold bench outside the operating theatre. His heart was broken in a million pieces. He hadn’t wanted to fall asleep, but he was exhausted and broken himself, only allowing himself to hold it together because someone could come out any minute with news. Magnus had been in surgery for hours and his dad was still trying to race back. There’d been a major pile up somewhere which was all over the news. Traffic was being diverted and stopped, causing hours’ worth of jams. As it wasn’t a ‘code blue’ emergency, the police had been unable to put on their sirens and get through the bumper-to-bumper traffic. It was a relief in a way that Magnus had gone to surgery. They’d never would have been able to wait this long for Asmodeus. Alec had never had a lot of contact with Magnus’ dad, but that would change if Magnus got better. When Magnus got better. He had to. Alec wouldn’t allow himself to think otherwise.

_“Aleeec?”_

Alec murmured and shook his head. _“No.”_

_Alec looked up and opened his eyes. He was crouched in a ball at the bottom of one of the burning trees. The world was nearly all but destroyed. Ash flew through the air and smoke burned at Alec’s eyes as he silently remained. Broken leaves burned and crackled as they drifted on the air._

_“I didn’t take you for a quitter, Alec.”_

_Alec sniffled. “How DARE you call me a quitter! After everything I’ve been through! I’m strong! Stronger than you will ever be! You couldn’t just leave us alone! You’re not here to create! You were made to destroy! Just leave us alone! Let us have our life together! School! A house! A family! I don’t want that with anyone else but him! Magnus is my world and if he dies-”_

_The voice laughed and shook its proverbial head. “Alec, you still have time. You need to fight for him.”_

_Alec looked up. “What?”_

_“He hasn’t fallen yet, has he? You still have time. I can guide you to him.”_

_Alec stood up, brushing off his pants as he nodded. He looked around the trees as the voice ran a hand over his shoulder and drifted behind him._

_“Alec... run.”_

_Within a fraction of a second, Alec’s first step thundered through the ground. The voice breathed out softly and the burning trees began to turn. Fresh leaves unfolded in a shimmer of graceful movement and as the voice threw up its arms, the forest came to life. The sound of living animals roared through the trees and the ground healed with every step that Alec took, leaving only soft and flowing grass behind him._

_He reached the end of the trees and looked out, the ground there was still cracked, and it hurt his legs to run but there was no other option for him. He had to get to Magnus._

_Alec’s eyes widened as he raced for the tree, once again seeing Magnus’ step out on to the open air. Alec lunged forward with his arms out, still a little too far away._

_The voice spoke in his ear. Not as harsh as it once was. It was soothing to have it by his side, pushing him forward as he finally realised why it had done everything that it had all along._

_“Just a little further...”_

Alec jolted awake as a hand tapped desperately at his shoulder. He shot up from where he was lying down. The little circles from the metal bench had left marks all up his arms from where he had rested on them with his legs tucked up. He blinked at the figure in front of him as he opened his eyes. He hadn’t seen the man in person before, but it only took a glance at his features to know who he was.

“Excuse me, are you Alexander?!” 

Alec sat up properly. “It’s Alec. You’re Magnus’ dad?”

“We haven’t met. Would you please mind telling me why my son was with you all weekend?”

Alec stood up and held up his hands. He was too tired and too upset to be dealing with this. “Woah! Hang on! Magnus couldn’t go to your friend’s because she was sick! I literally drove him here in my pyjamas! I got him here safely because I love him and that’s all you can say to me?!”

Asmodeus sat down and rubbed his face. Alec softened when he saw the broken look on his face. He was just upset. “I’m sorry. I’m not thinking clearly but it’s no excuse, I know... I hope you can forgive me… Hell of a first impression.”

Alec nodded and sat down. “I’m sorry too. Arguing is pretty pointless at this moment… Have you spoken to anyone?”

Asmodeus sighed. “Yes. I just ran into the surgeon on my way in. They have to take a break every few hours, so he was getting a coffee-” 

“What did he say?”

“They’re still working on him but it’s too early to say. Could be a few hours yet.” Alec leaned forward and rubbed his face. “Listen, Alex- Alec. I heard you were at my house when- it happened. Did you have the key?”

Alec glanced at him and shook his head. “What key?”

“Oh, I just thought Magnus would have brought the spare, just in case, but it probably wasn’t-wasn’t his first thought. Why- why don’t you take my house key and pick up your things. Get yourself sorted out. I won’t be home for a while and I’m sure there’s things you need. Magnus too, if you want to bring anything in for him. Maybe some clothes and his phone. Could you do that for me? You’d probably have a better idea of what he would like than I would.”

Alec nodded, finally giving in as he pulled out Asmodeus’ car keys. “I’m really sorry I drove your car here-”

Asmodeus ran his hand over the back of his neck, leaning forward on the bench. “You did what you had to…  It’s okay. I spoke with your father and him and your mother are pretty upset. They were so worried about you.” Asmodeus tapped his phone and held it out to Alec so he could put his number in. “Why don’t you ask him to pick you up and then go home for a little while? I’ll call the second I hear anything.”

Alec handed the phone back and ran his hand over his head. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll be back later.”

Asmodeus nodded and smiled sadly. “I don’t doubt it.” Alec started walking. He needed a proper sleep, even though he doubted it would happen. “Uh, Alec?”

Alec turned around. "Yeah...?”

“Thank you. For looking after my boy.”

*** 

3:14 PM 

Max burst out of the classroom door to the spot by the fence that was under the big tree. When school was over, he was always told to wait for someone there. He grinned as he looked around. Jace and Izzy weren’t there. Or their friends. Max had come out late because he’d offered to put all the scissors away, so the yard was starting to thin out. He had a drawing in his hand that he’d done last lesson and couldn’t wait to show everyone.

Maryse’s voice called out from behind him and Max grinned as he turned to run to her. Maryse had Honey in her arms and Max’s face lit up as he hugged them both. Maryse was glad that he would have the puppy as a distraction while Asmodeus and Magnus were at the hospital. Maybe having a puppy running around would keep the kids from worrying a bit.

Max cooed over Honey which made her wag her tail in excitement. Maryse held out her hand and Max took it as they started to walk together. It was only a short walk home but a bit much for Honey until she was older. Max walked alongside Maryse, his little hand clasped in her own. At his age, all of her other children had stopped wanting to hold her hand while they walked. It was something she missed.

“Mom? Did Alec come home?”

Maryse nodded. Max was young but he was intelligent. He would get upset if things were kept from him so she did her best to explain in a way that wouldn’t be too much for him. She remembered when Alec had been sick, and the school counsellor had told her and Robert to try and answer as many questions from Max as they could. It was his way of making sense of what was happening around him. “He did. He was at the hospital. Not for him though. Magnus is sick.”

Max looked up at her. “I thought he was better?”

She carried on looking ahead, coughing to clear her throat. “He was. But sometimes people get sick again.”

“He’s going to get better again though, isn’t he?”

Maryse nodded to Max’s drawing. “Hopefully soon. What have you got there?”

Max held up his drawing with his free hand. “It’s our family. Can we go to the hospital and see Magnus? Maybe if I give my drawing to him, it might make him feel better again. And I haven’t seen Alec for a long time. Three whole days. He will be there too, and it might make him less sad about Magnus being sick.” 

Maryse swallowed and spoke. “Magnus is- sleeping for a little while. You remember when Alec had to go to sleep for the doctors to do things to make him better?” Max nodded. “Well I’m sure we can go and see him when he’s feeling well again. You could give it to him then.”

Max nodded again. “Is Alec looking after him?”

Maryse smiled down at him. “He is.”

Max thought for a second before speaking, his arm swinging as he held onto Maryse’s hand. “I don’t want Alec to be sad. He really loves Magnus, doesn’t he?”

“We all do but yes, Alec really does. Promise you’ll tell me if you ever get sad, Max. You can always talk to Mom and Dad. Or anyone else for that matter. You’ve got Izzy and- three big brothers who love you very much.”

“I will. I promise. Is there anything I can do to make everyone else less sad? Magnus too?”

Maryse leaned down to hug Max. Honey licked at his ear, making him laugh as he wiped his face with his sleeve. “You can help me look after Honey for Alec and Magnus while they’re busy. Could you do that for me? Help me walk her and play with her? Help me give her food and water?” Max stroked Honey’s head as he nodded excitedly. She giggled again as she licked Max's fingers and wagged her tail.

They had a long road ahead of them, and this was just the start, but as they walked home and Max laughed innocently, unaware of the full scale of what was happening, Maryse just that hoped that during this difficult time, Honey could be the glue that would hold them all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading <3 Please drop a comment!


	27. I Fought the World for Your Hand.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes down to this. Alec is living in a nightmare, Magnus is in surgery and everything has changed in just a few short hours. New and old loved ones are reunited in their efforts to come together and get him through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! The chapter I have been planning since the start. I have absolutely loved writing this one so I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for your kind words both here and on Twitter during this. This is for you guys <3
> 
> Song for chapter 27:[ I'll Keep You Safe.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KjP6FjWQFs&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=29&t=0s)

3:25 PM 

As Alec stepped out from the hospital entrance, so much had changed. Only that morning had he been racing in the very same door with Magnus draped in his arms. Now Magnus was having emergency brain surgery and was potentially facing yet another life changing diagnosis.

Alec stepped out, shielding his eyes, and he turned to remind Magnus to put his sunglasses on. Alec kicked at a stone by the door and cursed himself as he continued walking. He rubbed his aching eyes. Everyone around him was just carrying on, unknowing about how their lives had changed in just the past few hours.

Robert was pulled up in the car park, leaning with his back against the car door. He held his hand up to Alec, showing him where he was. Alec’s miserable stroll turned into a brisk walk. By the time Robert had stood up straight, Alec was barrelling towards him with tears down his face. Robert rushed forward and Alec clasped his waist, nearly knocking him down. Like his younger brother, Alec wasn’t one for casual affection. With anyone except Magnus anyway.

Robert hugged his son tightly, holding him up. Alec’s family loved him with everything they had and had been absolutely broken when they had found out about his leukaemia diagnosis. Robert knew the pain of finding out a loved one was ill and never wish it upon anyone. They’d known Magnus’ history and he had hoped that Alec would never be on the receiving end of it; yet here he was, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed, and Robert himself holding him up.

Robert spoke softly with great empathy in his voice. “Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here. Dad’s got you.”

Alec gasped as he clutched at Robert’s shirt. He hated crying in front of anyone, but all it had taken was a familiar pair of arms to break down the walls he had put up.

Alec sniffled and his breathing caught as he tried to force every word out. “D-D- Dad. I’m- I’m sorry.”

Alec let go and Robert brushed his face, kissing his forehead. Several people walked past, taking in the sight of the boy crying in his pyjamas. Many would still assume from this thin frame and short hair that Alec was the one who had received the diagnosis. “Don’t you apologise for anything, okay?” Alec nodded and sniffled, wiping his face with his sleeve. “Alec, it’s okay. I’d be far more concerned if you weren’t upset... Tell me when you’re ready and I’ll take you home.” Alec shook his head. “Get some food in you-”

“No! No, I mean I will. I need to go to Magnus’ first and get some stuff for him.”

“Alec-” 

“No! I’ll go home but only if you let me come back later.”

Robert nodded and pulled the door open. Once Alec knew what he wanted, it was near impossible to convince him otherwise. All he currently wanted was Magnus.

Once Alec was in, Robert shut the door and walked around to his own side. He’d imagined the conversation they were going to have when he was on the way there. How different it would have been if he’d been called to get Alec from Magnus’ house. If everything had been fine. He would have smirked and asked Alec if he’d had a nice weekend. Maybe tease him a bit and wind him up. It was how their relationship worked. But as he got in the car, taking in Alec’s collapsed form against the window, his messy hair, his jacket that wasn’t done up properly and his short pyjamas, he knew it wasn’t the right tone anymore. Alec just needed a few minutes of peace and quiet.

***

4:20 PM 

_The wind pushed at Magnus’ face as his stomach dropped, and he plummeted, clenching his fists tightly and preparing himself to hit the ground. His eyes were open and his chin up, watching each branch passing as time stood still._

_“I’m not ready yet.”_

_The voice spoke softly from underneath him._

_“No one ever is. We have to make do with the time that we have. Life starts and disappears in the blink of an eye-”_

_Magnus stared at the branches as he fell, taking in each leaf. Each bud. How the colours all blended together into one. The insects that had made their home there; the only survivors in the harsh and unforgiving landscape._

_If he was going to die, he would not die cowering with his eyes closed._

_As the ground loomed up under him, he prayed that Alec would be okay. His father too. Everyone would be there for each other and they would get through it._

_Magnus curled up with his back facing the ground. He crossed his arms and finally allowed himself to close his eyes. Not in fear but in a warming acknowledgement of the past few months of his life. Alec holding tissues out by the fountain. Thousands of electric candles as they danced in his room. Flat palms against glass windows. Clashing together as Alec ran around the corner and grinned. Waking up together for the first time. Laying together and kissing when they were supposed to be at the movies. Running across the candy shop floor and kissing in front of everyone else. Alec laughing in the bath with a strawberry in his hand. His beautiful hazel eyes in the morning sunshine as he threw pancakes in the air- that was all he remembered of that morning._

_Magnus silently thanked whoever was protecting him for bringing him Alexander and put his head back to hit the ground. If this was it, he thought, he wanted his last thought to be of him._

_The voice spoke again._

_“No one ever is. We have to make do with the time that we have. Life starts and disappears in the blink of an eye- Sometimes, something has to end so something new can begin again...”_

There was a faint beeping from the room and light flicked across his vision. Magnus groaned quietly and the beeping picked up. A hazy voice whispered something, and he felt a hand rubbing his right arm. He was on his left side and there were people walking around but that was all that he was aware of.

***

4:37 PM 

Alec sighed as he walked into the house. It was far too quiet. He pattered into the kitchen in silence. For some reason, it had been his first thought to feed Fish. He was swimming in his bowl on the counter and Alec looked at him sadly, sprinkling flakes in. He’d thought about saying something, just to comfort himself more than anything else, but didn’t find himself with anything to say. He’d asked Robert to wait in the car while he went in and sorted out some things.

Alec opened the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a brush and pan. Cleaning Asmodeus’ floor also hadn’t been his first thought, but he had enough to be dealing with without coming home and having to pick up cake and pieces of broken plate. Alec tucked the chair in that he had tripped over and got to work with cleaning up the cake. He’d have to make some more to help Magnus feel better, considering how much he had loved it.

When the floor was wiped and everything was in the bin, Alec made his way upstairs slowly, the stairs creaking in the silent house. He walked into Magnus’ room, taking in the duvet that was thrown across the room, the crooked rug on the floor, Magnus’ school clothes over the chair. He let out a breath and rubbed his face before walking to the closed door that led to Magnus’ walk-in-wardrobe.

He pushed down the handle and walked in, remembering that he’d forgotten to ask Magnus where the right place was for him to put his stuff. He didn’t need the clothes there anyway, but it had just entered his mind.

Alec walked to the back and found the holdall he had seen before. Magnus had spent hours telling Alec wonderful stories about elephants and white sand beaches. Alec’s family had always rented a cottage from a family acquaintance and had only ever travelled a few hours from home. He understood why. Having a holiday with four kids was expensive and some of their best memories were at that little cottage but when his eyes had lit up, listening to Magnus’ stories, Magnus had seen the sparkle in Alec’s eye, the desire to go off and see the world, and had promised him a lifetime of amazing adventures. That as soon as they could, they’d be off into the world.

Now that memory stung a bit.

Alec pulled the holdall out, packing some more sensible articles of clothing than Magnus probably would have chosen. Mostly pyjama bottoms, shirts and loose pants. A light pair of shoes. Alec adored Magnus’ willingness to experiment with his look and sometimes wished that he’d have a bit more confidence himself. Maybe he’d ask Magnus to paint his nails or put some colour through his hair. It would certainly cheer him up. Alec would have loved to see the looks on his siblings faces because they always complained that he never switched up his appearance.

Alec finished folded up the stuff and packed them into the bag, before going back into Magnus’ room. He walked across to the top draw and pulled it out. Something still felt weird about looking through Magnus’ underwear draw but he needed boxers and Alec told himself to get over it.

He put several pairs in the bag, followed by a few pairs of normal socks. He found a few fluffy pairs, probably winter ones, and added them. The hospital got cold at night and he didn’t want Magnus to have cold feet.

Magnus’ makeup case was on the dresser and Alec pulled the zip open, checking inside. There wouldn’t be much need for it probably, but it would be nice for Magnus to have something familiar with him. Maybe something to get him up once he was feeling better. Magnus would need to learn again to use his left arm properly so maybe Alec could come up with a few things to help him.

The final thing that Alec put in from the dresser was the little red charm that Magnus had lovingly placed against his standing mirror. Alec didn’t know what it was, but it had Chinese symbols on it and Alec made a mental note to look it up. He’d had it from his father when Asmodeus had told him about his mother and from what he gathered, it was very important to Magnus. There was a box of tissues on the dresser and Alec wrapped it up carefully. His own backpack was open on the chair and he put it in the front pocket. He wouldn’t forgive himself if it got damaged or if something spilled from Magnus’ makeup case and got on it.

After going into the bathroom and coming back with Magnus’ makeup wipes, toothbrush, toothpaste and Magnus’ 3 in 1, Alec zipped up both the holdall and his own backpack, remembering at the last second to add Magnus’ phone and phone charger.

He dragged the bags behind him in one hand and checked his own phone as he went across the hall. No messages or calls. He slid it back into his pocket and went into Asmodeus' room. It felt very odd, but he was considered family too, even if their relationship would probably be a bit shaky at the moment. He’d remembered seeing some jeans and shirts in the wardrobe and stuffed them into Magnus’ bag. After gathering together a few other things, Alec made his way downstairs and put the two bags by the front door.

He glanced around at the room. Their fort was still up but when he put his hand against the sheet that was hanging over it, he gripped it and realised he couldn’t bring himself to take it down. He hoped Asmodeus wouldn’t mind it staying there but his heart had been tossed around enough for one day without having to take that down as well. 

Alec walked around the front and sat down inside. They’d taken most of their blankets and pillows upstairs before their movie, but a few things still remained. Alec picked up Magnus’ thin blanket, bringing it to his nose as he fought off tears again. If he closed his eyes, he could still hear the laughter from last night. Everything still raw, burned into his thoughts. How he had dotted pasta sauce to his nose and how Magnus had kissed it off. How they laid together and had stared into each other’s eyes. How they cuddled under the duvet, sipping hot chocolate when they had come in from the rain.

In silence, Alec carefully folded up Magnus’ blanket and carried it out. He stuffed it into the top of Magnus’ bag and closed it again, thinking to himself for a moment. He went back into the fort and gathered the last remaining blanket, bringing it to his face and inhaling Magnus’ scent before putting it in his own backpack.

As he was zipping up his jacket, Alec’s phone started ringing. He pulled it from his pocket in a panic and as he went to grab it, it slipped out of his hands. The corner hit the ground first and Alec swore as he picked it up. He didn’t care about the cracks down the front; it was still ringing.

“Hello?! HELLO?!”

There was a crackled voice and Alec clutched his hand to his chest, leaning against the wall. As he was about to say every swear word he had ever learned, Asmodeus’ voice could be heard. “Hi. Alec?”

“It’s me! It’s me! Is-Is- Is he okay?!”

Asmodeus let out a breath and Alec’s heart skipped a few beats. ”Yeah. Yeah, he’s okay. We’ve got him.”

Alec closed his eyes, sliding down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. Tears rolled down his face and he put his hand over his mouth. At that second, the front door opened, and Robert walked in. Alec had taken longer than he thought, and he had started to get worried. His eyes skirted around the downstairs and took in the fort before he knelt down and took Alec’s hand. Alec nodded and spoke quietly, no longer caring what a mess he looked like, and told Asmodeus’ to tell Magnus that he loved him before hanging up.

Robert brushed Alec’s cheek, leaning with one knee on the floor. “How is-”

Alec sniffled. “He’s okay. Well, not okay but they’ve woken him up. Six hours, Dad. Six hours it took.” Robert hugged Alec tightly, neither of them knowing whether to cry or laugh. “Oh, Dad. I never want to go through that again. Ever.”

“I know, Son. He’s a fighter though. You both are.”

Robert stood up and picked up Alec’s bag. Alec grabbed the holdall before standing up and following.

They walked out together, and Alec locked up the door. He had Robert’s supportive hand on his shoulder and listened while he told Alec that he was proud of him and that everything was going to be okay.

***

5:05 PM 

The traffic had been terrible on the way to his house and Alec was starting to get agitated as they finally got out of the car. All he wanted was to get back to that hospital and give Magnus a hug, but Robert had insisted that they go home quickly on the way so that Alec could get change out of his pyjamas. It would probably be cold by the time he came home that evening.

Alec yawned as he pushed the front door open, Robert walking behind and carrying Alec’s backpack in his hand. Alec watched as his three siblings laughed and dragged toys around the living room floor. Honey was pouncing on them and looked immediately in the direction of the door. Her tail wagged and she dropped her favourite ball, charging through Max’s legs as he stood and laughed. She ran straight for Alec and he scooped her up, hugging her tightly. She squirmed and Alec smiled for the first time since getting to the hospital that morning. Honey made excited sounds as she licked all over his face, drying up the tears that had fallen.

“Oh, my sweet baby girl. It’s so good to see you.”

Alec closed his eyes and hugged her while Robert shut the door. He looked up to see his siblings who were staring back from where they were all sitting on the floor. Maryse was hovering in the door to the kitchen and was wiping at her eyes with a tissue. She walked over to Alec and hugged him tightly, being careful not to squish Honey between them. Alec set the puppy down gently and Maryse leaned up to kiss his head softly. She hugged him close, rocking slightly as she made soothing sounds. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re here now.”

Alec nodded before he let go and wiped his face. His siblings were all standing expectantly by the living room door. Alec didn’t feel like going into everything that had happened right then but told them that Magnus had needed surgery and had woken up okay. That he was going to see him.

They were going to have dinner that evening but Maryse offered to make something quick for Alec to eat. Alec refused but they managed to get two glasses of juice into him while he took his late afternoon medication. It was the best they were going to get at the minute but Robert and Maryse knew that they would need to sit down with him, probably the next day, and remind him that he needed to remember to take care of himself. It was so easy to get lost in your priorities when your loved one was ill.

After a lot of hugging and more than a few tears, Alec made his way upstairs with his bag. Robert told the kids that Alec was just coming home to get changed but he would be back later, and they all needed to try and help out by being nice to not only Alec but each other.

Alec changed quickly, throwing on his joggers. He changed his shirt before zipping up his jacket again and followed with a pair of socks and his sneakers. Without socks his other shoes had been rubbing his feet and they ached as he pulled them on.

When he came back downstairs, his siblings were all standing at the bottom. Robert had his hands on Maryse’s shoulders, and he spoke softly before breaking away and patting Alec’s back. “You ready, champ?”

Alec nodded, not knowing what to say. He stepped down off the last step and leaned down so Max could hug him. Max looked up with big brown eyes. They went wider and everyone looked at each other while he ran to the kitchen. He came back with his drawing and held it up to Alec. “I drew our family in school. One of my friends asked who Magnus was and I told them that my big brother loved another boy like how boys like girls and they thought it was really cool. Could you take my drawing and tell Magnus how happy everyone was to hear about him? It might make him feel better again.”

Alec leaned down on his knees, clutching the drawing in his hand. Maryse was crying silently against Robert’s side and he kissed her head.

Alec looked at the drawing and shook his head with a smile, handed it back. “I want you to show him yourself, Max. When he’s better, okay?”

Max nodded and took the drawing. He held up his hand and Alec squeezed it gently.

Max let go and Izzy came over. She hugged Alec tightly and as he rested his chin on her head, she closed her eyes and spoke quietly. “We love you. Both of you, okay? Tell Magnus that we hope he feels better soon.” Alec nodded and wiped his face again. Robert’s keys made a sound and Alec looked up, Izzy pulling her arms from around him.

Alec followed slowly and he heard a voice from behind him.

“Alec! Wait!”

Alec turned around as Jace walked towards him. Jace very rarely gave hugs but held up his arms, rushing to Alec. They crashed together, hugging tightly, as they patted each other’s backs, all brotherly arguments forgotten.

Alec put his hand on the back of Jace’s head and closed his eyes. “Alec, remember to take care of yourself as well, okay? Tell Magnus we’re thinking of him.”

Alec smiled and broke away. Robert was holding the door open. Alec looked back and waved. “Jace?”

“Yeah?”

“Love you, too. Thanks for being the big brother to Max and Izzy... and looking after them.”

Jace smiled. “No problem. Only until you’re back though. You can take over then-” Everyone laughed quietly and Jace continued. “-Now go and see your man. We can catch up later.”

***

5:57 PM 

To say Alec sprinted down the hospital corridors would have been an understatement. As he barrelled through doorways and around patients, visitors and staff members, everyone he encountered glanced around in shock to see the dark haired boy racing past them. Alec went the wrong way twice before finally finding the right corridor, his heart hammering in his chest. Magnus had been taken from recovery to the high dependency ward and had then been moved to the neurological ward. Eventually, Alec found the front desk and was directed the right way. The nurse pointed to the closed room, opposite the nurse’s desk. Alec thanked him and knocked on the door.

A different surgeon to the one Alec had met opened the door. Magnus’ tumour had been much more difficult to remove than originally planned and many staff members had been called back in to help.

Alec panted frantically as the surgeon opened the door wider. He was in such a state but just needed to see Magnus. “Is Magnus there?! Please, I have to see him!” There was a voice inside the room. Asmodeus’ voice.

“It’s okay. Let him in.”

The surgeon pulled the door open and spoke quietly with Asmodeus’. Asmodeus nodded and grumbled quietly, lines on his face showing how tired he was. Magnus was lying on his back with his eyes closed and Asmodeus’ had Magnus’ right hand in his own, Aminah’s locket clasped between them.

Alec put Magnus’ bag down and rushed to be next to him. He went to touch Magnus’ face but his hand hovered. He didn’t want to hurt him.

“Alec is my son’s boyfriend. Anything you say to me, you can say to him.”

The surgeon nodded and looked at the chart before speaking. Alec sat by Magnus’ side and took his left hand gently. With a huge sigh of relief, Alec gently kissed Magnus’ forehead, not caring about the fact that there were two nurses, a surgeon and a tired and grumpy looking Asmodeus in the room.

“So, as I was saying. It went as well as it could have. The biopsy results will be back tomorrow. There might be some personality changes with Magnus but that’s usually expected after major brain events. I can’t say which way they will go yet. Only time will tell.”

Asmodeus nodded, glancing over from his chair as Alec kissed Magnus’ hand with glassy eyes. “What about his hearing? And the use of his left side?”

The surgeon seemed a tad reluctant as he couldn’t promise anything yet. It was still far too soon to know. “We’ll have to do some tests on his hearing. Magnus had a weakness in his side from last time so it’s hard to tell. As soon as he’s recovered, we’d like to start him on an intensive physio regime to try and get him using his left side as soon as possible. Maybe some hydrotherapy once he’s recovered but like I said, baby steps. He did very well with the surgery. Let’s get the biopsy results first and everything else can be dealt with.”

Alec’s hands shook as he whispered softly. Asmodeus needed a coffee and to call Lily to update her so he stood up and told Alec he would be back in a bit, leaving with the surgeon. All that remained was one of the nurses and Alec wished he could just talk to Magnus without her staying, but Magnus needed round the clock observation.

Magnus’ eyelids moved and the nurse spoke softly. There was a bar up on the bed and Alec moved his hands through the gap.

“He’s sleepy but you can talk to him normally. He might not hear what you’re saying but he’ll recognise your voice. I’m just filling in his notes so just pretend I’m not here.”

Alec nodded, wrapping Magnus’ hands around his own. “Hey, Emas. Golden boy. It’s Alexander. I’m here with you, okay? I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you ever again. I promise.”

A faint smile appeared on Magnus’ face and the nurse looked up. His face screwed up slightly as he made a noise and then he relaxed again. 

“Hey, buddy! Welcome back!” She looked to Alec. “Do you want me to put the bed rail down?” Alec nodded and she set her pen down, walking over and lowering the barrier between them. “There you go. Ah, you’ve got a good one there, Magnus.” Alec blushed slightly and sniffled. The nurse smiled as she went to sit down, picking up her pen again. “I’ve just had to put into Magnus’ note that his heart rate has picked up but not for anyone to worry because it's an environmental, not a medical, cause.” Alec looked at her and nodded, not knowing what she meant. Magnus head was wrapped up by a number of dressings and big white bandages.

“He’s- has he got staples in his head?”

The nurse nodded. “Yes, he will for a little while. They don’t hurt but he’s on strong painkillers anyway.”

Alec looked back to him. Staples were the least of Magnus’ problems, but Alec knew that he always liked to look his best. It would be another thing to deal with once he was better.

Alec picked up Magnus’ hand and spoke quietly, the beeping of the heart monitor in his ears. “Can I ask something?”

“Sure, sweetie.”

Alec sighed. “I know it’s not probably not at the top of the list, but I’ve never seen Magnus without nail polish. They took it off for surgery and he hates being without it. There’s some in his makeup case-”

“I’m sorry, hun, but he can’t have it until he’s better. We need to be able to see if his nails turn blue and it messes with the oxygen probe. I’m sorry.”

Alec nodded. He hadn’t thought so anyway.

“Don’t be. I’ll help him do it when he’s better. I brought some of his rings. Would I be able to put some on him? I’m- I’m not trying to be a pain it’s- It’s just that I know how he likes things-”

“You’re not a pain at all. I don’t see why he can’t. Go ahead. We’ll have to take them off if he goes for a scan, but I’ll keep them on me if he does and make sure he has them straight back.”

Alec kissed Magnus’ hand before setting it down gently. He walked across the room and the nurse watched as he unzipped Magnus’ bag. Alec opened Magnus’ makeup case and pulled a few of his rings out. He chuckled softly as he zipped them both up again. “You should see his wardrobe. I’ve never seen anything like it. He'll be mortified later that I made him go out in his pyjamas.”

The nurse smiled. “Bet he has better fashion sense than I do.”

Alec laughed, walking over and sliding a ring onto each of Magnus’ hands. “There you go. Probably- but he has better fashion sense than anyone. I wouldn’t take it personally.”

After two more hours had passed, Asmodeus had come in and out a few times, bringing something for Alec to eat and drink, and speaking with the nurse. Both him and Alec spoke with each other, and to Magnus, quietly, and got used to each other’s presence. It was still a bit shaky between them, but they had a common interest in looking after Magnus that was more important. As Asmodeus’ went out again to speak with Dr. Cooper, leaving Alec and the nurse in silence once again, Alec was falling asleep in the chair. They’d gotten a few words from him, but Alec still didn’t know if Magnus had realised he was there. His heart was breaking slightly. All he wanted was for Magnus to acknowledge that he was there with him.

Alec rubbed his eyes as he yawned in the chair. “Magnus’ father said that after he speaks to the surgeon, he’s going to pull the car around the front and take me home.”

The nurse nodded. “Yes, you should definitely try and get some sleep. Magnus might be more awake tomorrow if you want to visit then.”

Magus’ hands were warm from where Alec had been clasping them for the past two hours. Alec set them down gently and rubbed his face while yawning again. “You’re probably right. I should get going. I'll go and see if I can find him.”

The nurse set her notes down as Alec picked up his jacket and walked over to the door. As his hand touched the door handle, there was a murmur from behind them. Alec would have thought it was just in his head if the nurse hadn’t walked back over to Magnus. He turned and slowly followed her. She leaned over Magnus and smiled, gesturing and holding her hand out to pull Alec over. “I think it's you he wants.” 

Alec dropped his jacket and it fell in a heap on the floor. He rushed over to Magnus and his eyes teared up. Magnus groaned and lifted his chin as Alec put his ear next to his mouth. “Hey, baby. It’s me. It’s Alexander. I'm here. I'm here with you.” Alec's voice croaked. "I love you. I love you so much." Magnus’ lips moved and he said something quietly. Alec pulled his head away and took Magnus’ right hand, feeling as Magnus laced his fingers with his own. “Magnus? I have to go home, okay? Get some sleep and I'll be back as soon as I can.” Magnus nodded with such a tiny amount of movement that Alec wouldn’t have seen it from any further away. “Is there anything you want?” The edges of Magnus’ lips picked up in a smile and Alec thought about how much he probably wanted to make a witty remark or a crude joke. Magnus nodded again and scrunched up his lips for Alec to kiss him.

Alec glanced behind at the nurse who was pretending to read through Magnus’ notes. Her hand was over her mouth, but she was grinning as her elbow rested on the table.

Alec whispered in Magnus’ ear, making him smile. “You’re terrible. You know that?”

Magnus was still smiling as he made a kissing motion again. Alec leaned over him, pressing their lips together softly while stroking his face. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I'm so proud of you.”

Magnus nodded and his mouth moved. No sound came from him, but Alec didn’t need to hear it to know what he was saying.

_“I love you too.”_

***

7:50 PM 

Robert sat down at the table and looked to see that all the kids had enough food. Jace was ravenously stuffing sausage and mash into his mouth and Izzy raised her eyebrows at him. She knew that he’d already eaten two sandwiches and a bag of potato chips since they had gotten home, as well as him and Max polishing off a packet of chocolate biscuits from the stash that they kept hidden in Jace's room.

Maryse tilted her head, putting her hand over Max’s to stop him hitting his fork around. “Jace? Did you have gym today because I thought I saw your kit bag by the door. You didn't forget it, did you?” Jace spoke with his mouth half full, making Izzy roll her eyes.

“No- no gym.”

Izzy grinned into her drink. “Kissing girls is hungry work apparently. Wonder how Clary’s holding up.”

Jace dropped his fork and gritted his teeth for Izzy to be quiet.

Maryse laughed. “Is that so? Well at least if Luke decides to pop in on a spontaneous visit, we'll know why.”

Jace rolled his eyes and moaned. “Izzzyy, I told you not to say anything!”

“It doesn’t matter. We’ve seen Alec kissing Magnus loads of times.”

Max grinned and piped up from the other end, holding up his finger. “Jace- do you remember about the wrestling?”

Everyone’s heads shot between Max and Jace, making Jace hold up his hands as they all shouted over one another. Izzy had her mouth wide open and looked between them.

“I can explain! I can explain! I CAN EXPLAIN!” The table went silent as they all looked at Jace.

Max laughed and clapped his hands. “Jace’s cheeks are all pink!”

Jace sighed and said everything on one breath. Alec would owe him big time for this.

“It was the night Magnus stayed over and Max saw them without shirts. That’s all! He remembered how we used to wrestle outside without shirts when we had that heatwave. Max didn't see anything he shouldn't have, and I’ve been covering and the only reason I haven't mentioned it was because Max didn’t want Alec to be sad that he was still ill. There!” Jace threw himself back down and gasped before he went back to eating.

Maryse narrowed her eyes as everyone looked on in confusion. “Okayyy…” She turned to Robert as the kids started chatting about school. “Alec shouldn’t be too long. Did you put his food on the side?”

“I did. I don’t know if he’ll eat much though. It’s why I made sausages and mash. It always made him feel better when he was younger- Max, stop dropping food to the dog.”

Max set his fork down and there was a thud as a piece of sausage hit the carpet, followed by the sound of a collar jingling. “I’m not.”

Maryse brought the conversation back to Alec. “We’re going to have to really keep an eye that he’s taking care of himself. Making sure he sleeps and takes his medication-”

Robert put his hand over Maryse’s. “And we will.” Maryse smiled gratefully for the act of reassurance. Everyone had finished eating and Robert laughed as he noticed that Max had purposefully left a single piece of sausage on his plate. “Go on then! ...But don’t tell Alec.” Max got up excitedly and whistled. Honey had been having a drink in the kitchen and came racing in as quick as her little legs could take her, water trailing from her mouth. Honey ran in one spot until the mat going into the living room curled up and ended up behind her. She kept going and barked while jumping up at Max’s feet.

“Honeyyy, sit!”

Honey turned in a circle and Max clapped, giving her the sausage while they all laughed. She wouldn't be the brightest dog by the looks of things and Jace and Max had been rewarding her for the wrong tricks all day, despite their parents telling them not to. It had reached a point where they were trying to teach her to bring a tissue box over and she’d torn a load of them up, making Robert tell them to take her outside. Someone would probably have to explain to Alec and Magnus at some point as to why their dog dropped on her back and played dead whenever anybody sneezed.

Robert started gathering the plates and Maryse moved to help him carry them out. She looked to Robert and he nodded encouragingly at her, making Maryse clear her throat. “Okay, guys-"

The kids carried on chatting and Robert gestured for her to try again.

"Guys-" They carried on talking and Maryse shouted, making them go silent as they blinked at her. "Guys, Listen! I want you asleep by ten. You’ve had a long day and you have school tomorrow whether you want it or not.” All the kids groaned. “No! No excuses. I don’t know when Alec will get in but if it’s after ten, you can see him at breakfast. Pyjamas, teeth, and pick a movie to wind down with. No arguing, boys, or me and Isabelle will put on Mamma Mia again.”

Max gestured dramatically as if he’d been stabbed and Maryse smiled as the kids all shot up the stairs. Maryse followed Robert into the kitchen and set the plates down, Robert holding out his hand for her to take. He walked towards her and she grinned as he hugged her with his hand on the back of her head. “I’m proud of you.” Maryse smiled while looking down, making Robert tilt her chin up. “Hey, we’ll get through everything together, okay? Like we always do.” 

Maryse nodded and smiled, kissing Robert quickly. “Together?”

“Together.”

Robert put his hand on Maryse’s face, bringing their lips together. They heard a pattering of feet and turned to see Max with his head stuck in the door. “Ewwww, guys! Mommy and Daddy are kissinnnngg!”

Robert laughed and ran after Max, making him scream as he tossed him up and tickled his stomach. “Riggght! That’s it!”

***

9:17 PM 

Alec yawned as he silently shut the front door. He could hear the TV going but the rest of the house was quiet.

He turned the key in the lock and heard jingling from behind him in the hallway. He turned around and crouched to the floor as Honey came running towards him with one of the toys that Magnus had bought for her.

“Heyy!” Alec scooped her up and stroked her head. The teddy was already ruined but Alec would buy another one if Magnus wanted it.

He walked into the living room as he hugged her tightly, Honey licking his cheek. His siblings were watching ‘Avengers: Infinity war’ and were just reaching a really important part of the end. It was their favourite movie and the boys watched it religiously, always winding Izzy up about it because they outnumbered her and Maryse, who always wanted to watch something else.

Maryse caught sight of Alec in the corner of her eye and shot up, running around to hug him. The three siblings nodded at each other in agreement and just as the character 'Thanos' said “You should have gone for the head,'' Jace picked up the remote and paused the TV.

They all ran over to join Maryse and Alec in a group hug. Robert laughed and followed over, taking Maryse’s hand and putting his own on Jace’s shoulder. They broke apart and looked at Alec expectantly. Max was yawning and Robert lifted him up as Alec spoke on a breath. “He’s okay. Just tired. I said I’d go see him tomorrow.”

Maryse brushed his face. She understood that Alec didn’t want to go into a full explanation. He was exhausted. They all were. “Me and your father cooked up some dishes for you to give to Asmodeus. He can warm them up, so he doesn’t need to cook for a while.”

Alec nodded as Robert walked over. Max was holding his arms out for Alec to hold him. Robert passed him to Alec and Alec rocked him gently with his eyes closed. “I told him about your drawing, Max. He can’t wait to see it.”

Max nodded and yawned, looking at Alec with big eyes. “Alec, there’s red on your neck.”

Alec put his hand to his neck, only then realising that his arm hurt from when he tripped, trying to get Magnus’ bag. “Oh, yeah. Magnus just hurt his hands a bit. That’s all. I’ll go wash it off and get something to eat. Thanks for letting me know, Max.”

Alec was struggling to hold him, and Robert took him back again, resting Max on his hip. “Right, five minutes and then bed. Alec, your plate is in the kitchen-”

“Thanks. I had a lunch packed but I’ll have to chuck it now. Do you know where my bag is?”

“Still in your room, I think.”

Alec made his way upstairs, dragging his tired legs behind him. He came back down with the box in his hands and walked into the kitchen.

Maryse turned to the kids, pausing when Alec came back into the room. “Alright, I think it’s time- Alec? Honey? What is it?”

Alec just shook his head and chuckled. “Just a note Magnus wrote. I’m fine, honestly.” Alec walked back out and read the note in his hand. There was a piece of foil attached to it with something inside it. Alec spoke quietly to himself as he took deep breaths. He wanted this to be a happy thing and he'd mention it to Magnus tomorrow if he was up and talking. He laughed softly to himself. Asmodeus had asked him earlier if he’d had the key but he hadn’t known what he’d meant.

_Surprise! Me and Father talked the other day and I managed to convince him to let you have a key. Can’t wait to pick you up after school! Have a great day!_

_You’ve unlocked something in me!- M  xxx_

***

03:36 AM 

Alec rolled over and glanced at the clock. He was so tired, but his bed was too empty without Magnus next to him. Maryse had insisted for both her, Robert and Asmodeus’ sake for when he got home that the puppy went to sleep in the kitchen. She’d told the kids that there would be no excuses. Even if she barked, she would settle down eventually and go to sleep. Alec tossed and turned as thought to himself, rubbing his eyes and thinking of the plans him and Magnus had talked about.

_“We could- sneak her up here- and snuggle- with her. We could- put her in your hoodie- and zip her up.”_

Alec rolled over again and sat up. He couldn’t sleep no matter how tired he was. He reached over to his bedside table and flicked the lamp on to the lowest setting. He opened the draw in his bedside table and pulled out his wallet, sniffling quietly as he smiled fondly at Magnus’ photos.

“Oh, Magnus. Magnus, Magnus, Magnus. What a day, huh? I can’t believe so much has happened since this morning.” He laughed and rolled onto his back. “You’d probably tell me to get over myself... To stop snivelling because it’s not a good look on me.” He sighed and ran his thumb over the photo of Magnus grinning. “I wish you were here with me. I just wanna hold you again. To kiss you and tell you that you’re going to be okay." He paused. "...I know you can’t hear me, but I hope I made you proud today. Like- I know it sounds weird, but I got us both to that hospital, didn’t I? I kept calm-” He laughed. “-even if we did have a car ride from hell. I know I'm just talking to myself here, but I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow. I'm so proud of you for getting through today and...whatever happens... I'll be with you the whole time.” Alec lifted his pillow and slid the photo underneath. He pushed back his blanket and stood up properly, stretching his back. He walked across the floor, avoiding the spots that he knew made creaking sounds. His door was on the latch and he made his way downstairs. Maybe if he walked around a bit, he’d be able to finally fall asleep.

He strolled across the living room. His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he walked over to the sliding doors. It was too cold to open them, so Alec sat down on the living room carpet, looking up at the very same stars that him and Magnus had danced under the night before.

“Look how small everything is. Down here, I mean. How can our problems seem so huge when there’s so much out there?”

There were Supernovas going on and stars burning up and here he was, sitting and looking out at something that had been there since the beginning of the universe, all leading to this day, this hour, this second; probably written in the fabric of the universe since the dawn of time. He didn’t like to think of how everything could have already been written and planned out for Magnus so instead he stood up, walking around to sit on one of the couches for a moment. Even if it had been written down, that would have meant that him meeting Magnus had been written in his stars too and so he could make his peace with the idea.

Alec peered through the dark. He understood that sometimes weird events went on in the house that couldn’t be explained but as his eyes narrowed, he wondered why there was someone sleeping on the couch. He couldn’t make them out but sat down on the armchair for a moment. He still wasn’t ready to fall asleep.

Something was under him and he pulled it out from the cushion, trying not to laugh. It was Magnus’ shirt that he hadn’t been able to find. Alec glanced over to the couch, still trying to figure out who it was. He bunched up the shirt and brought it to his nose, hoping they wouldn’t wake up. He pulled his own shirt over his head and put Magnus’ on, smiling and hugging it to himself. It was a bit small, even with him still being slightly underweight, but he just wanted something of Magnus’ close to him. The shirt reminded him of the blanket that he’d put into his bag. Maybe Magnus wasn’t with him, but they might have been able to help him sleep. He rubbed his eyes, finally allowing himself to get worked up. It wasn’t fair. Magnus should have been there with him. Alec stalked across the room and stood at the bottom step, his own shirt in one hand and the railing in the other. There was one other thing that could help him sleep but he hadn’t considered it until now.

***

03:52 AM 

“No! Don’t! Don’t drop me in the pond again…”

“Pssst! Psst! Jace! What are you doing!?”

Jace shot up, whispering as he clutched his hand to his chest. “Jesus, Iz! Are you trying to give me heart failure?!”

Izzy threw Jace’s feet off the end of the couch and sat down on the arm, speaking quietly. “I couldn’t sleep. I came to get a glass of water. Why are you down here?!”

Jace shuddered as he pulled his blanket around himself. “Umm, I saw a spider in my room.”

Izzy laughed and poked him, raising an eyebrow when he jumped. “I didn’t think you were afraid of spiders?! I thought you were up because you were worried about Magnus or maybe Alec...”

“Oh, yeah- that makes more sense-”

“What?!”

“I mean, yeah! That too!”

Izzy stood up and tied her robe properly. “I’m going to get a drink. You coming back upstairs?”

Jace shook his head, barely visible in the dark. “No- no. I’m comfy.”

“Are you sure because-”

“I SAID I’M COMFY!”

Izzy held up her hands. “Fine! I’ll be back in a minute! Stop shouting or Mom and Dad will come down!”

Izzy walked out and opened the kitchen door quietly. Jace shuddered again, wrapped in his blanket. “Not down. Anything but down. Stupid feathers and flat feet-”

Izzy ran back in. “Jace! Jace! Jace! The puppy is gone!”

Jace shot over the arm of the chair and ran into the kitchen, Izzy following at his heels. “She’s supposed to be here?! Where the hell is she?!”

***

Alec sniffed as Honey licked at the tears on his face. She was wrapped in his arms as he spoke softly, glad to have someone warm with him again. He would probably have to get up early and take her downstairs. Or maybe he wouldn’t. He didn’t think his parents could be too mad at him.

As Honey laid in his arms, he buried his face into her. With Magnus’ blanket around him and Honey in his arms, maybe he would finally get some well needed rest.

***

Tuesday:

07:18 AM 

Alec tossed his head as he moved in his sleep, burying his arms over his face. Honey was sleeping by his feet, glancing over and tilting her head. The first golden rays of morning were shining down on them both, casting them in amber light. Honey jumped down the bed, pouncing by Alec’s side and nudging his hand. He rolled over, turning his face away as she tried to wake him up.

***

_Alec blinked as he opened his eyes. The voice circled around him, still throwing life into the forest behind. Alec shouted, glancing behind himself. Magnus was still in the tree, his foot hovering over the air as if he was testing the temperature of a hot bath._

_“I don’t understand.”_

_The voice swirled around him. “Understand what?”_

_“Why you’re helping me.”_

_The white shadow moved and twisted around him. He hadn’t seen it like this before, but everything was changing. It wasn’t the time to be questioning the hues of phantoms or spirits or whatever this thing was that had been haunting his dreams. “I’m showing you. Are you ready to run again?”_

_Alec nodded and his feet kicked up from the ground. The white shape moved around him, drifting in circles as he ran._

_“Just a little further, Alec. You’re a fighter. Always standing up for what you want. Be brave, dark haired boy. Be swift and cunning. While your feet are on the ground and kindred spirit flows through your soul, YOU, Alec Lightwood will never be defeated.”_

_Alec panted as he ran, the green grass filling with life as his feet flew underneath him. “I get it. I get it now! You never wanted me! You wanted me to run and get Magnus! Because neither of us can catch him on our own!”_

_The voice laughed. “I’ve been telling you that! You just needed to open your heart and listen!”_

_Alec skidded to a stop, looking to the middle where the tree was._

_The original source of life._

_The only living tree in the burning forest._

_The physical embodiment of all that was bright and peaceful._

_Magnus._

_Alec watched and his own heart dropped as Magnus closed his eyes and stepped back from the branch, calling his name._

_For a split second, Alec was frozen in place. He felt his legs lift up from under him and looked down to see that the white spirit was guiding him. As it guided him, he glanced around at the field that was now lush and green. What had once been ash were now thousands of tiny white petals. What had once been burning leaves, crackling and floating on the air, were now hundreds of fluorescent butterflies. Everything moved through the sky, making it shimmer with an ethereal blue glow._

_“You’re never alone, Alexander. I will always be here for you when you need me. Both of you.”_

_The white spirit carried him forward and he watched as everything slowed around him again. “Thank you.”_

_'How does it know my name? My real name?'_

_As they reached the tree, the spirit set him down and disappeared in a wisp of translucent air. Alec skidded the final few yards and held his arms out, his breath catching as he looked up. The petals and insects swarmed in his vision and he hoped and prayed with everything he possessed that he was standing in exactly the right spot._

***

Asmodeus’ woke to the sound of beeping. One of the nurses came into the room and checked the monitor that was next to the bed. She pressed a few buttons and silenced the machine before whispering quietly to Asmodeus.

“I think he’s dreaming.”

He sat up and nodded, his back aching from the chair.

“Do you think we should wake him?”

The nurse walked over with the temperature probe and put it into Magnus’ ear.

“No. I would leave him. He needs all the rest he can after what he went through yesterday.”

***

_Magnus’ fingers ached as he spoke, clinging to the bark of the tree._

_“I’m not ready to fall.” The pearly figure floated behind him. His eyes were clenched shut and he hadn’t seen it shift. “You tricked me. There are no apples here.”_

_The voice spoke in his ear and warm air prickled the back of his neck._

_“A symbol, Magnus. Sweet things to come.”_

_Magnus looked out across the burning landscape. The screams were getting closer._

_He gritted his teeth as he tried to pull his foot back that was being dragged forward by an invisible force. He knew what would happen. The heart shattering drop and the smoking branches as he fell closer and closer to the ground each time. Always waking up, just as he was about the shatter like glass._

_“I was never one for symbols.”_

_The spirit chuckled, curling up its tendril like fingers. It pulled his leg again, so it was hanging over the open air. His breath caught in his chest and his eyes widened, watching as Alec flew out of the trees. His fingers scraped against the bark. The figure let go of his leg and he lost his grip, plummeting backwards._

_Down he crashed. Falling slowly and yet with enough speed to whip at his skin as he held his hands out. His fingers cut through the air, clutching at branches and leaves. Magnus watched as he fell slowly. A shimmering blue butterfly landed on his chest. He remembered seeing them in the park. When he and Alec had gone out the day before last. Magnus closed his hands around it and a neon blue light glowed between them. By the time he pulled his hands away and tilted his head back, the mysterious blue light had gone. He once again thanked the being protecting him for breathing life into him. For caring for him and looking out for him. He took in a deep breath, his hands held out. And found himself home._

_A sweet smile, a pair of warm arms and two beautiful, hazel eyes._

_Alec clutched Magnus as he sobbed against his chest. “You’re okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”_

_Magnus clung around Alec’s neck and Alec’s legs gave way. He slid to the bottom of the tree with Magnus in his arms. They grabbed at each other’s faces, just  to make sure that the other was real._

_Tears ran down Magnus’ cheeks as he held Alec’s face in his hands. “You caught me.”_

_Alec nodded and kissed him softly. They broke apart and Alec’s chest rose as he spoke. “Magnus, I will ALWAYS catch you when you fall.”_

_Magnus kissed him again before clinging around Alec’s neck. He didn’t want to let him go again. Not now. Not ever._

_Alec paused, looking over Magnus’ shoulder. Magnus turned his head, staring out across the green field. When he’d seen it last, it had been burning to cinders. The whole of the field was lit up with white petals and blue butterflies. They all moved together and danced on the breeze, gathering in the middle as something...someone... walked towards them. Magnus turned to Alec and back again, still being held in his arms._

_Alec spoke softly, watching as the figure moved and drifted on the air. “She helped me.”_

_“Who is she? Why is she here?”_

_Alec shook his head. “I don’t know.”_

_Magnus turned back to face Alec. He snuggled into him with his eyes closed, his head against Alec’s chest, feeling the gentle beating of his heart. Every rhythmic thud that was sending clean blood to his cells. Alec stared out and Magnus felt as his voice shook._

_“Magnus...That’s your Mom...”_

_Magnus lifted his head and looked up. The butterflies flew in every direction; the petals falling all around them. Alec put his knees flat and as they both stood up, holding hands under the tree, Aminah finally came into view._

_She smiled as she moved towards them. She had a pearly quality to her, glossy and yet clear but as Alec and Magnus looked more closely, they could see soft features, a captivating smile and long ebony hair that flowed down her back._

_“Hello.”_

_Alec let go of Magnus’ hand and gestured for him to walk forward. He stepped and looked back before sobbing and running into Aminah’s arms. “Mama! Mama!” He gasped and held her face. “What are you doing here?!”_

_Aminah smiled and hugged Magnus’ tightly. He was the same height as her. She spoke without moving her mouth, her voice beautiful and clear, filling both of their heads with its warm sound. “I promised your father that I would always look after you.” She glanced behind him and Magnus let go, turning and grinning at Alec. “I just needed a little help.”_

_Alec walked forward and took Magnus’ hand. Aminah gestured for them to sit, lowering herself to hover next to them._

_Magnus grasped at Alec’s hand and spoke quietly. “Mama, I wish I’d met you properly. I wish it all the time.”_

_She shook her head, brushing first his cheek and then Alec’s. “It’s not the way of the world. We all have a time in the sunlight and a time in the shadows. It is beyond our power to alter it.”_

_Magnus shook his head, squeezing Alec’s hands between his own. “I don’t understand-”_

_She smiled. “It is time, my golden boy. Time I told you of the butterfly effect.”_

_She held out a hand to each of the two young men, creating a circle with their hands. In the circle, the butterflies around them joined to make a drifting blue picture. Aminah spoke softly while the two boys listened. She nodded and an image of the earth appeared between the three of them._

_“The butterfly effect comes from the field of mathematics called ‘chaos theory’. It was first described as such in reference to weather; that the beating of a butterfly's wings in Brazil might set off a tornado in Texas months later. The theory is a metaphor that some small change may trigger a slightly larger change, which then triggers a slightly larger one, and so on, until it becomes completely impossible to predict the long-range effects.”_

_Magnus nodded and looked at Alec before turning back to the blue light. “But how does that apply to us?”_

_Aminah smiled._

_“Everything you’ve ever been through has an impact somewhere. Something so small and insufficient that you couldn’t see it has built up and up into something with a wider purpose. Everything you have both fought for, all you have been through together, has created something wonderful.”_

_Alec looked sceptical. “It has?”_

_Aminah nodded and the pictures changed as she spoke._

_“Magnus? Do you remember the day when you went shopping on your own? When you saw the two children? The boy and the girl?” Magnus nodded, looking at the image in front of them. “When you went up those steps, you had your keys in your hand, didn’t you? Well when you happened to be looking at the children, thinking of what you had been told, the sunlight reflected off the fountain, hit your keyring and caught the attention of the little girl. She asked her father to take her to the stationary store. So she could buy one herself.”_

_Magnus tilted his head but carried on listening. “The next morning, that little girl made her family late for leaving the house because she couldn’t find where it was; to put it on her school bag. As they were late for the school run, her father was rushing on the road and not paying attention. He hit a pothole and got a flat tire.”_

_Alec glanced at Magnus and back at the clearing image of the cars in traffic; their windscreen wipers moving in the rain. “Two cars behind, a young boy was being driven by his sister. They got stuck in the traffic and he noticed the droplets on the tail light in front. It reminded him to tell his sister that she needed to buy birthday candles for their father. The next day, when she went to the store, she ran into an old friend from school who she hadn’t seen in years. They arranged to meet up and joined each other at a restaurant a week later.”_

_Both of the boys watched as they saw an image of a waiter carrying a tray. “When they were out to dinner, the sister tipped over her drink, meaning the waiter had to clean it up. They apologised and left a generous tip on their departure.” Magnus nodded, still wondering what they had to do with this. “As he had extra change, the waiter decided the next day to take his little girl to the park. He wanted to buy her an ice cream as a treat because her parents never usually allowed it. It was only because he had change that he agreed.”_

_Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Okay so I got upset about not having kids and a little girl got an ice cream because of it?”_

_Aminah chuckled. “There’s more to the story. But I have to tell you Alec’s side first.” The two of them glanced at each other; the three still with their hands clasped as the butterflies drifted around._

_“Alec? Do you remember the day you shaved your hair? After being allowed home to see your family?” Alec nodded. “Well because you were home that particular day, you used the last of your bubble bath, didn’t you? Only by pure chance you were home that day, or everything would have ended differently. When you went back to the hospital, your father was clearing up your bathroom when he kicked the empty bottle across the floor. He remembered in that second that your second youngest brother had needed new boots for football. He took him to the sports shop the next day and your youngest brother decided to go with them.”_

_Alec looked at Magnus and they watched as the picture shifted to Max picking up a bottle of pop. “Your brothers convinced your father to stop on the way home for pizza. While they were there, your youngest brother knocked over a bottle of fizzy drink. He set it back without anyone seeing and they continued on their way.”_

_Magnus grinned at Alec and Aminah carried on. They were quite enjoying this. “The next customer was a mother and young son. He bought the bottle and opened it when they were in the car, covering himself in fizzy drink.“ Alec tried to hide a smile. Trust Max to do something like that. “On their way home, the mother stopped to buy wipes so the son could clean himself. She ran into a co-worker and they started chatting. Because of this, the food was cold by the time they got in. Her husband had had a bad day at work and the wife and him ended up arguing.”_

_Alec rubbed his face. “Please say they didn’t get divorced because of me.”_

_Aminah carried on. “Because they were arguing, he also decided to take his daughter to the park. So that she could have an ice cream and he could have some time outside.”_

_Magnus looked at her and then at Alec. “So...because of us...two little girls got ice cream?”_

_Aminah laughed. “There’s one final part. These two little girls ran into each other and became friends... Their fathers started talking to one another and tomorrow, for the first time, the two little girls are going to have a sleepover.”_

_Magnus nodded. “That’s nice... but it’s hardly Earth shattering.”_

_Aminah laughed, showing two teenage girls blushing and shaking hands. “This is Helen and Aline. Their little sisters are the girls who bought the ice creams. Because of you two, tomorrow, Helen and Aline are going to meet. Because of your situations and the horrible things that you both went through, something beautiful will be created. What they think is pure chance, an encounter at a doorstep, was actually because of a chain of events that both of you caused. They’re going to fall in love, get married and they’ll raise three beautiful children together-” Magnus and Alec grinned at each other with their mouths open. “- None of which would have happened without the two of you. Not so small and insignificant when you think about it.” Magnus leaned against Alec and Alec kissed his head. What they had was life changing and now everything they had been through had built up to create that for another young couple with amazing lives ahead of them._

_She pulled her hands away as the blue glow faded._

_“And that, my boys, is the butterfly effect. I’m telling you this for a reason. There’s been so many points where you could have given in, stopped running, allowed yourself to fall, but no matter what you face, all the things you ever encounter, you must work together with those closest to you and come out stronger. Your very existence can cause a ripple in the fabric of the universe with the most beautiful of outcomes and you owe it not only to yourselves but to all the lives you touch, will ever touch, and to all of those you’ve lost, to live the best you can and make your life count for something. You never know the impact that you could have simply by existing. You have to be strong for each other, and for those around you. Know that you matter. That you are loved. And that there would be less miracles happening in the world without you.”_

_Magnus chuckled and held out his hand again for Alec to take. Aminah leaned forward and ran her thumb over Alec’s cheek. She felt like a warm breeze and a cold ocean storm all at once._

_“It’s time for me to go. I wish I could stay with you but we all must get back to where we are needed… Alec?”_

_Alec opened his eyes. “Yes?”_

_“Thank you. For taking care of my golden boy. All I ever wished was that he would be loved and happy and I’m so glad that you two found each other. I’m so proud of you both.” Alec smiled and Aminah moved so she was standing at full height again._

_“I promise I’ll take care of him.”_

_Aminah smiled. “I know that you will.” She moved over to Magnus and hugged him tightly. He closed his eyes as he leaned against her shoulder._

_“Mama, I want more time with you.”_

_She shook her head. “I know, but you have a life to live first, Emas. Besides, I might pop in now and then to make sure that you two are behaving yourselves.” Alec and Magnus chuckled and as Alec laced his arm around Magnus’ and took his hand, Magnus had a thought. When all his trees had been burning and the sky had been on fire, Alec had been the one he was calling out to protect. They may face many things in their future, hardships, problems to be solved, but Alec was his world and what was most important to him. Nothing would ever change that._

_Aminah looked at them both and nodded, running her hands over each other. The butterflies all gathered around them again and Magnus’ eyes teared up as she spoke. “You might not see me, but I’ll be with you every step of the way. Knowing you still have possibilities is a luxury and you owe it not only to yourselves but to every life you touch to keep going and accomplish amazing things. It’s time to wake up and start living.”_

_Magnus reached his hand out to Alec and brought him closer. As the maelstrom of butterflies and flowers flew around them, they hugged each other and closed their eyes. When they opened them again, the chaos had settled._

_Aminah had disappeared in a spark of blue light._

*** 

The heart monitor picked up as Magnus opened his eyes.

“Hey, Magnus. The doctor is here to speak with us.” Magnus nodded and the doctor walked in. He closed the door behind himself, cutting off the sound from outside so that Magnus could hear him speaking.

“Okay, so we’ve had the biopsy results and I wanted to come down straight away and tell you both.”

Magnus licked his lips, listening as the faint sound from his heart monitor increased in speed. “You did?”

“I did. As you know, we identified that you had a gene called 'Neurofibromatosis II' that made you predisposed to getting types of cancer. It was what your mother passed to you and we identified that while you yourself exhibited the condition, you yourself are not a carrier to pass it on.“ Magnus nodded, trying to clench his left hand. “Well you’ve been, very unlucky to end up with a different tumour than before. What you had was called a 'Grade II Meningioma.' A benign tumour that is slow growing and starts in the membrane that covers and protects the brain.”

Asmodeus sat up. “So, what are you saying?”

The doctor smiled. “It’s not life threatening in any way. We got it out but all you’ll need is a few doses of radiation therapy, as well as some physio to try and get some strength back in your left side.”

Magnus’ face lit up and Asmodeus’ got up to hug him. “Oh, Son! That’s wonderful!”

Magnus wiped his eyes with his right hand. “No chemo?”

The doctor smiled and shook his head. “No. No chemo. When you’ve recovered and we get you walking again, you’ll be able to go home.”

Magnus grinned, still in a state of shock. Asmodeus had never been an emotional person but was fighting back tears at the news that Magnus was going to be okay. “Are you sure there’s no chance of it coming back?”

The doctor shook his head. “Very slim. I plan for you, Magnus Bane, to have a very long life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. You guys have been amazing! The good news is, it's all onwards and upwards from here <3


	28. Gravity in an Hourglass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything that has happened, Alec is returning to school. He is finally trying to move on from the chapter of his past. He doesn't know but with everything changing, a new story may just be beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient. I hope you enjoy ❤
> 
> If you want to join in with the fun on Twitter, the hashtag is #Flutterfic
> 
> Song for chapter 28:[ Smell.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS6rU1_D6RM&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=30&t=0s)

Alec smiled as he stared at his reflection. The sun was peering through the frosted window and as he stood up straight, feeling the warmth on his face, he smiled happily, letting the early Friday light wash over him. 

After brushing back his hair neatly, he took in the sight of himself in the bathroom mirror. He straightened his back, running his thumb over his freshly shaved cheek. It had been a long time since he had needed to shave and it was nice that things were appearing to get back to normal again. He’d told himself once that one day, everything would be okay again. Maybe today could be that day.

Alec straightened his black tie before peering out of his bathroom door. His bedroom door was open and he could see his younger brother who was standing in the hallway. Jace was fighting with his own black tie and was putting in a valiant effort, even though he was making a mess of it.

Alec laughed as he walked out of his bathroom and into the hallway. Jace looked up slightly and grinned at the sight of Alec in his school uniform; finally admitting defeat to the black menace that was around his neck. Jace dropped his hands and Alec started working to get the knots out, rolling his eyes as Jace smirked at him. “Jace, seriously. You are practically seventeen.”

Jace crossed his arms and laughed. “I’m going to get it right eventually! You’ll miss doing it for me then and you’ll still say I’m doing it wrong and insist on doing it for me!”

Alec chuckled and shook his head, crossing the tie over and pulling it through itself. “You’re probably right. Besides, what’s the point in breaking tradition at this point?” Alec finished the tie and Jace gestured to Alec’s arm, watching as Alec finished with the button on his cuff.

“What’s that on your wrist?”

Alec pulled his sleeve back and tried not to blush. In all the panic of the previous Monday, both Alec and Magnus had missed the three month anniversary of them meeting. Alec couldn’t believe everything they had been through together over the past three months. It didn’t seem real in a way. Magnus still hadn’t been able to get up but one of the nurses had been kind enough to give him a bracelet kit; both to pass the time and to help him with his fine motor skills with his left hand. He had sat for hours with his table over his bed; his eyes fixated on the thin, red and black strings as he crossed them in a neat pattern. He’d carefully followed the instructions, away with his own mind, and it had resulted in what Alec was wearing.

“Magnus made it for me. Isn’t it nice?” Jace laughed, shaking his head in amusement as he walked back to his room. Alec followed behind slowly, turning his bracelet on his wrist. “What?”

Alec watched as Jace pulled his bag up from the floor. There was a pen on his bedside table and he threw it into the front pocket. Maryse always bought all of the kids a full stationary set at the start of the year but somehow, Jace always ended up with a few borrowed pens from his siblings. Maryse had taught them all the importance of caring for their things (having four children was expensive business) but no matter how hard he tried, Jace somehow always managed to lose things.

Jace laughed at his brother’s confused expression. “Nothing. You two are just really sappy together.”

Alec rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He caught sight of himself in Jace’s mirror and wondered if he should have shined his shoes. He was only going to school for a few hours; both to see how he would cope with it and so he could build himself up to going back full time. 

Even though he had told Jace just that morning how much he was looking forward to going back, he hadn’t admitted to Jace about how much he just wanted to be with Magnus today. It was all he had wanted since he’d walked into Magnus’ room last Tuesday morning.

Alec had shot out of the car before Robert had even stopped. He’d sprinted to Magnus’ room and stared at him with a grin on his face. Words hadn’t needed to be said by either of them. Even without Magnus’ ecstatic expression, Alec had just known that he was going to be okay. He’d darted across the room and just hugged Magnus in front of everyone. The doctors had been doing their rounds of the patients and Magnus had laughed, his right arm hugging Alec tightly as their lips locked together. It had taken an embarrassingly long time until Magnus had opened his eyes and had needed to stop Alec kissing him in front of everyone.

Alec grinned with his arms behind his back, changing the subject slightly. After their crazy weekend, Magnus being in hospital was driving them both more than a little mad. Alec knew that Magnus wanted nothing more than to get out of there so they could be together again, and Alec had agreed, but it was going to be a long road. Alec had found lately that whenever Magnus was brought up in discussion, he was struggling to keep focused and stop his mind wandering.

He stopped blinking at Jace and decided to change the subject. “How’s Clary doing?”

Jace looked up, keeping a straight face. Alec grinned and tried to clutch his face as his cheeks broke out in a deep crimson. It broke Jace’s neutral expression as he zipped up his bag and Alec put his hands on his own cheeks, not knowing what had come over him.

Jace laughed and reached across his bed, grabbing his pillow and throwing at Alec to snap him back to the present day. Alec caught it and threw it back, smoothing down his school shirt. Jace pouted his lip, standing up and grabbing his bag in his hand. Brotherly teasing aside, it was good to be able to just talk again about everyday things.

“She’s good. She should be able to have her cast off next week. So… that’s good.”

Alec nodded slowly. “That is good. You can go out properly with her then...Have some funnnn.” Jace rolled his eyes and laughed, Making Alec blush again when he realised his mistake.

“Oh, so like you and Magnus have then?” Jace teased him. “Is that what you meant?” Alec rolled his eyes, gesturing that he was going to brush his teeth as he turned on his heel and strolled out. Jace smirked as he followed behind, stopping to lean in the doorway to Alec’s bathroom. Jace rung his hands nervously and opened his mouth a few times before closing it. Alec leaned over the sink and looked up at Jace with a mouth full of toothpaste.

“Whaf is id?”

Jace walked out and into the hallway for a second. When he was confident that there was no one around, he strolled back slowly. “Alec...can we talk about something?” Alec nodded with his eyes narrowed, moving his toothbrush to the other side. “...What you were saying about...having fun.”

Alec rolled his eyes. They were going to be late if they stood there much longer and he wanted whatever Jace had to say to be over quickly. Alec spat out his toothpaste and went to wipe his mouth.

“Oh, for God’s sake, Jace. We’re brothers. You’re nearly seventeen and I’m nearly eighteen. Can we please just both say what we mean to. On another note, if you want girl advice, you do realise that I am not the best person to ask, right? Just get out with it or we’ll be late.”

Jace bit his bottom lip, his cheeks turning pink. “Fine. Me and Clary were watching a movie over hers the other night and... there was a scene on TV between two teens. Nothing crazy but she said that for her, she felt too young to be getting involved in that kind of stuff… I mean it was just in passing, not to me in particular...”

Alec scratched his head. “You mean having sex?”

Jace shrugged. “...yeah.”

Alec nodded and bit the side of his mouth. “Well that seems sensible, I guess. If she doesn’t want to yet, then you have to respect that and be okay with it. Whether she said it in passing or not. You’re only young and you haven’t been together long anyway so I wouldn’t worry. Don’t be in such a rush to grow up, Brother.”

Jace nodded. “I know, I know. The reason I actually even said anything was because I just wanted to ask- in a nice way- not to tease me while Clary’s here or make suggestions at us or anything. I know we do with you and Magnus but Clary’s different. I don't know if it would make her uncomfortable and I don't want to bring up the topic again until she does.”

Alec smiled. That was not how he’d imagined this conversation would go. “That’s really mature of you, Jace. I’m always here if you want to talk.”

Jace smiled. “You too...On the same note, how are you holding up with Magnus in hospital?”

“I’m okay. He doesn’t like being in there but no one would. He’s starting work with the physio people but it might take a while.”

Jace smiled and narrowed his eyes with a smirk. “You know that’s not what I meant…”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Okay it’s been…” Jace chuckled and Alec sighed. “...Difficult. Even when he’s out, it’s going to take a while for everything to go back to normal again. I think it’s making him frustrated but we’ve spoken with that counsellor I told you about. She’s arranged for us to have some sessions with her together and then some on our own. He’s going to have to relearn to do a lot of things so we’ll just have to be patient and take each day as it comes.” Alec walked out of the bathroom and grabbed his bag from the chair. Jace poked him in the back as he followed behind and Alec shut his bedroom door after them both.

“And you’re going to help him? Learn to do things again?”

“Of course. Whatever he needs, I’m going to be right there for him.”

***

“Here you go, sweetheart.”

Izzy smiled as she took the cup of tea from her mother. It had been so long since they’d just been able to sit down and talk; even if Maryse was folding washing and fussing to get things sorted. “Thanks, Mom.”

Maryse sorted through the folded clothes and set them down on the kitchen table. Understandably, there hadn’t been much time for shopping and the kids were all in need of some new clothes. Maryse picked up one of Izzy’s bras from the pile and held it up to her. “Do you know the elastic has gone in this?”

Izzy nodded, sipping her tea as she looked down. “I know...I need new ones but it’s not like I would take Jace or Alec with me. Clary can't stay out long with her crutches and I didn’t want to go on my own…”

Maryse looked at her daughter and sat down opposite her. "Isabelle, didn’t you say anything?”

Izzy looked up and played with the mug in her hands. “There’s just been more important things going on. Alec being ill and now Magnus. You’ve been busy enough-”

“Isabelle, you’re important too. You should have told me.” Izzy shrugged her shoulders and took another sip. “I'll tell you what, why don’t we go out tonight? Alec is going to see Magnus when he finishes at lunch time, so he’ll be back for tea. I can order pizzas for the boys and your father and we can go shopping. We can get you some new clothes or go to the makeup store. We can even get something to eat while we’re out. No boys. Just you and me.”

Izzy smiled. She loved her brothers and her father but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d really been able to just be a girl. Izzy nodded and then opened her mouth for a second. She was unsure about how to ask what she wanted to. “Mom...if we went to the mall. Do you- would you maybe like to meet Simon? I mean you haven’t yet and if we’re there…”

Maryse’s face lit up. “Oh, Isabelle! I would love to!” She walked around to Izzy and placed her hand on her shoulder. “Listen, Iz. I’m sorry we haven’t spoken as much as we used to...but I want to fix things. You have to remember that you’ve been through a lot too and you still need your mom as much as your brothers do. You can come to me for anything, okay? You’re my baby girl.” Maryse kissed the top of her head and Izzy smiled. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Mom. It’ll be nice for us to just go out.” Maryse smiled and they both turned their heads as Jace and Alec walked into the kitchen. Max followed closely behind, not in a tie but with a black jumper on. Izzy had chosen to wear a blouse and skirt.

Maryse walked around as Izzy joined her brothers. She took them all in, watching as Robert stood behind them in the doorway. It had been so long since they’d all been in uniform together. Maryse laughed, grabbing her phone from the table as Robert looked on.

“Right, you lot. I want a photo!” There were four collective groans from the room and Robert laughed as he walked over and placed his hands on Maryse’s shoulder. She gestured for all of them to stand against the wall in the kitchen and held her phone up, gesturing Jace and Alec behind with Izzy and Max in front. Honey ran in through the door and sat by Max’s feet, waiting for Maryse to capture the photo. By the third attempt, Maryse had managed to stop taking pictures of herself and finally got one of them all. The four of them broke away with sarcastic cheers and Alec grabbed the car keys off the table. Jace and Izzy had started learning to drive but Alec was the only one who was actually able to drive on his own at the moment.

Alec tossed the keys in the air, laughing as he caught them over Jace’s head. Robert picked up the kids bags in turn and passed them over to each of them. He moved over to Maryse and together, they watched as the kids piled out of the house, laughing and chattering together as they walked out to the car. Robert held out his hand and Maryse took it gratefully as they watched, him squeezing her hand in reassurance before she squeezed it back.

Alec waved as he started up the car. Izzy was checking Max’s belt from the back and Jace was flicking through the CD’s from where he was sitting in the passenger seat. Maryse wiped her eyes silently and Robert whispered quietly, watching as the kids waved and Alec pulled the car off the pavement.

“Hey. They’re going to be okay.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “I know. They’re good kids. They’ll look out for one another.”

***

“Jace! This song is rubbish! Put something good on!” Izzy shouted from the back. They were nearly at the school but Alec was already going mad. The happy novelty of his first (sort of) day back with his siblings had worn off by the time the fourth argument had rolled around. Alec creased his forehead and shouted as he looked back in the mirror.

“Right! That’s it! One more word and I’ll turn this car around!”

Everyone was reduced to silence and Max giggled into his hand. “Was it me or-”

Izzy laughed, joining in with Max. Jace chuckled, watching as Alec’s face went red. “It was! That was literally Dad talking!!”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Very funny! You’re actually lucky I’m not making you walk the final bit. Oh, I forgot to say! You’ll have to walk home tonight because I can't pick you up after school.”

Izzy stuck her head between the front seats. “If you’re going home at lunch time, why can't you? It only takes a minute!”

Jace poked Alec’s cheek and watched as it went red. Alec kept his eyes on the road. “Ooooooh! He's going to see his boooyfriennd!”

Alec scoffed, ignoring as Max and Izzy made kissy noises from the back. “May I remind you two that you also have boyfriends or girlfriends?”

Jace and Izzy sat back again as Alec pulled into the car park. They immediately spotted Simon and Clary who were waiting under the lamp post by where Alec usually parked. As they pulled up and Alec turned off the engine, Simon and Clary made their way over.

By the time that everyone had piled out of the car and got their bags from the trunk, Simon and Clary had reached them. Simon had been carrying Clary’s bag and tossed it to Jace with a smirk. Alec watched quietly as Jace walked over to her, wishing that Magnus was there, even if he went to a different school. Clary grinned and stood up straighter, leaning her crutches against the car and wrapping her arms over Jace’s shoulders. They kissed without so much as a ‘hello’, making everyone else avert their eyes. Simon hugged Izzy softly as they waited for Jace and Clary to get their traditional welcome over with.

When Clary and Jace were acquainted again after their "treacherously long" twelve hours apart, both Simon and Clary made some small talk with the others; asking everyone how Magnus was and asking Alec how he was feeling about school; as well as discussing several pieces of gossip with Jace and Izzy about things in school that Alec had missed while he was off.

Alec quietly had a look at the time on his phone before informing the others that they would have to make their way to their classes. Because he had needed so much time off, Alec was being allowed to go into lesson with Jace and Izzy until he was back to his normal routine and he was eager to get going. Max held up his hand to Alec and all together, they began to make their way down the drive. As they walked, Simon and Izzy spoke quietly to each other about the movie they were planning to go and see. Simon offered to carry Clary’s crutches and laughed as she got a piggyback from Jace.

Max’s section was in a different part of the school but Alec had been told to take it easy so instead of rushing to keep up with his siblings, he walked with Max’s hand in his own, waving occasionally to various teachers or students who all said some variation along the lines of that it was good to see him back.

“Alec? When are you coming back to school properly?”

Alec looked down, swinging Max’s arm and making him laugh as the others made their own way over to their registration room. Max’s class was just up ahead. “Soon, hopefully. I just might be a bit too tired at the moment so it’ll take a while.” Alec knew to be truthful with Max and how much he appreciated it when people didn’t shy him away from conversations. He was the youngest but Alec didn’t believe it should have been a reason to leave him out.

Max nodded and as they reached his room, he pulled at Alec’s hand to bring him into his class. “No, Max! I can't go in-”

He yanked on Alec’s arm and Alec just about managed to grab the door frame of Max’s classroom. There was a group of children already in there as well as a teacher. Max jumped up and down excitedly as he insistently pulled Alec’s hand. “Look, everyone! This is my brother! This is Alec!”

Max finally let go of him and Alec held his hands up. A swarm of small children crowded around him and Alec laughed as he tried to keep his footing. “Uh, hello… many small children.”

The teacher smiled and walked over. She used to teach Alec when he was younger and had been hearing a lot about him; not only from Max but members of staff who were eagerly awaiting his recovery. Alec was a good student and well liked. He wasn’t aware of it but many staff members and pupils had been devastated to hear about his leukaemia diagnosis. They had needed to call an assembly in order to share the news and inform everyone to ask for support if they needed it.

“How are you, Alec?” She looked at Max who was hugging into Alec’s side. “We’ve been hearing a lot about you.”

Alec blushed and looked down. “I dread to think. Max, sorry buddy but I’m going to be late.” Max let him go again and pouted slightly. “Fine. One more hug.”

Max’s teacher laughed as five different children hugged Alec’s legs and Alec fought to hold Max up. “You certainly have a way with them, Alec.. If you want to help out for work experience week then you’re welcome to join us.”

Alec smiled as the children detached themselves and raced to get to the coloured pens. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

The teacher nodded and walked over. Max raced to join the other children and as Alec turned to leave, the teacher caught his sleeve. “Alec, I’m really glad you’re doing better.”

“Thank you. It’s good to be back.” The school buzzer sounded and Alec looked up at the ceiling, turning to walk out. He waved to the teacher and to Max who was preoccupied with talking to Tavvy, who was holding up a book to show him. “Alec?”

Alec turned to the teacher. “Yeah?”

“Tell Magnus we’re thinking of you both.”

***

There was a knock on Magnus’ door and Asmodeus lifted his head as he got up to answer it. Magnus was too engrossed in the colouring book that Alec had bought him to take any notice. He had headphones on his head which were playing so loud that Asmodeus could hear every word. He had gone out and bought him a pair that didn’t press the staples on his head and were comfy enough that he could lie down with them on. He knew it was probably bad for Magnus’ ears to be listening to music at that volume but he couldn’t really tell him to turn it down.

One of the doctors walked in with the nurse following behind. Asmodeus waved at Magnus, catching his attention and making him pull his headphones off. He tapped at his phone for a second and the music stopped playing. He pulled the headphones down to rest on the back of his neck and took a glance at his father.

The doctor shut the door firmly and spoke quietly with Asmodeus. Magnus watched as he nodded, getting annoyed at the fact that he wasn’t being involved in the conversation. As he was just about to say something, Asmodeus leaned down to speak next to him. “Magnus, you have to go and have some tests done, okay?” Magnus shook his head. “Magnus, you have to-” Asmodeus turned to the doctor and spoke quietly enough that Magnus didn’t hear him. “Sorry, he’s in a bit of a temper today. Just give him a second.”

The doctor nodded. He was patient with Magnus and had quickly become one of his favourites. The doctors still didn’t know the full extent of Magnus’ seizures or surgery and how it would affect him day to day. They had told Asmodeus to expect some personality changes from him now and then. ‘Highs and lows’ they called it. Magnus was currently needed to go for hearing tests but was purposely delaying it as if it would change what they told him. “Magnus. Come on. You have to be grown up about it-”

Magnus grumbled as he looked up, running his hands over the curve of staples on his head. With each staple, his fingers bumped slightly. “I already know what they’re going to say, Father. Everything happened on Monday. Today is Friday and it hasn’t gotten better-”

“They still have to test you, Magnus. They might be able to give you something to help you out-”

“I want Alec-”

Asmodeus rubbed his face. “Alec is in school. I promise, if you go and do this, by the time you’re back, he’ll be here waiting for you.”

Magnus looked to the doctor and swung his legs around, watching as he pulled the door open. Magnus caught sight of the nurse who was waiting in the corridor with a wheelchair. He sighed dramatically, letting everyone know how much of an inconvenience they were to him. He moved carefully so he was sitting over the edge of the bed, batting away his father's offer to help him up. Magnus shook his head, trying to place his foot down that wouldn’t cooperate. His left hand had become all but useless in the past few days and hung by his side as he gave in, allowing one of the nurses to slowly help him get into the chair.

Asmodeus nodded to the doctor as the nurse turned Magnus around. Magnus would be starting physio tomorrow so Asmodeus hoped that he would be in a better mood soon. He probably would be if Alec got to tag along with him but he just had to keep reminding Magnus that as soon as he listened and got himself walking again, the sooner he could come home.

***

Alec was staring at the clock on the wall when Jace poked him from behind with a pencil. “Oi! Stop daydreaming about going to see Magnus!” Several heads went up around the room and there were a few giggles at Alec’s expense. The day had started with everyone swarming around Alec and it had started to get a bit much. Thankfully, everyone had settled down.

The teacher ‘shushed’ them for laughing and Alec spoke quietly without turning around. “I’m not. You’re just jealous that I get to go home early.”

“Am not.” Jace looked over Alec’s shoulder and grinned. He gestured for Izzy to look over the other. “Aleeec? Why are you doodling ‘Alec Lightwood-Bane’ in the back of your English book?”

Alec flipped the book back to the front as Jace and Izzy giggled. “Don’t you have work to be doing?”

“Don’t you? You haven’t been focused all day.”

Alec rubbed his eyes and yawned. “That’s because I’m tired, Jace.” He had honestly expected today to feel like any normal day but Alec was exhausted. Maybe being ill and not doing much activity in so long would take longer to get over than he thought. He glanced at the clock again and their teacher checked his watch before clearing his voice.

“Okay, it’s lunch time but please don’t go until you are-” The students all started packing up their things and their teacher shook his head as they all started filling out of the door. “-dismissed.” He turned back to his desk and started collecting his papers. Izzy and Jace waited for Alec to gather his stuff together and their teacher cleared his throat. “It’s been nice seeing you again, Alec. Hopefully it won't be long until you’re back with us full time. Take the time you need though, hm? Don't rush if you're not ready yet. We're just glad that you're okay.” Alec nodded as he zipped up his bag, taking in what the teacher was saying. He wouldn’t say ‘Now that you’re better’ because Alec wasn’t completely better yet. His long journey wasn’t over yet and he still had a long way to go but he could only stay hopeful. Both him and Magnus had survived things that people could never even imagine and they both would just have to take each day as it came.

***

Magnus looked around the sound booth he was in. It was a tiny little area, no more than a few yards wide. The only door led to the little room where the audiologist was sat; on the other side of the window. The booth was strange. It was so soundproofed that he could hear his own heart beating in his ears and he’d had strange headphones put on him; cushioned on one side like normal headphones but with a smaller, rounded piece on the other that touched just in front of his right ear. There was a click and the audiologist spoke through his earpiece.

“Okay, Magnus. We’re going to test your left side first, okay?” Magnus looked down at the little button in his hand, wishing that Alec was there. “Just click whenever you hear a sound, no matter how loud or quiet it is. They are going to be at different frequencies, one at a time and will build up in volume. Press whenever you hear something, okay? Anything at all. When we’re done with your left, we’ll move onto your right. If you want to stop at any point, raise your hand for me and I’ll see through the glass, okay?” Magnus nodded.

After what must have been at least half an hour on each ear, Magnus was exhausted. He was sure that he would have the various squiggling or beeping sounds implanted in his brain when he would be trying to get to sleep that night.

At last, the audiologist opened the door and his nurse wheeled him back into the room. She had a final test which he had no explanation for. It involved a small earpiece in each ear and a quick blast of pressure that felt the same as when he’d been on a plane before.

“Okay, you’re all done. You’ve been absolutely amazing.”

Magnus responded with little more than a thankful nod. Between the combination of noisy hospital machinery, regular obs through the night and missing being in the same bed as Alec, he hadn’t been getting much sleep. “Can I go back now?”

The audiologist nodded. “You sure can. I’ll just have a look at the results and someone will be around in a while to discuss them with you, okay?”

Magnus nodded and waved as the nurse wheeled him out. They stayed silent for a few minutes as they made their way down the corridor to get back to the ward. Magnus went to scratch his head and spoke as he felt the increasingly familiar bumps that came in the form of his staples. “When can I have these out?”

“Hmm?”

“My staples. When can I have them out again? I’m absolutely dying to properly wash and style my hair again.”

The nurse continued pushing for a moment, looking up as they entered the door to Magnus’ ward. “Most patients have them in for seven to fourteen days, so a few days yet. Sorry, kiddo.”

Magnus laughed. “I hate looking such a mess. My boyfriend always looks incredible.”

The nurse chuckled as Magnus looked at his hand. He had hoped that after some physio tomorrow, he’d start to get better quickly, but the doctors had said that it could take a long time. “Speaking of…”

Magnus looked up and his eyes welled at the sight in front of him. Alec was grinning and watching as Magnus approached him in the wheelchair. Alec had known that Magnus had been having a few bad days and had made a few stops on the way home. In one hand, he had a carrier bag with lunch for them both and in the other, he had a small bunch of flowers. Alec was smiling sweetly and the nurse gushed from behind as they came to a stop by the door. Alec leaned down to kiss Magnus softly and her heart panged at the split second it took for Magnus’ face to light up again.

Magnus stroked at Alec’s face with his thumb, bumping their heads together. “Hi.”

Alec grinned again. “Hi.”

“You two are seriously the cutest! Honestly! You put my boyfriend to shame.” Alec followed behind as the nurse pushed Magnus into the room. “You need help to the chair or I can help if you want to lie down?”

Magnus shook his head and held up his right hand to Alec. Alec set the flowers and bag down on the table, helping him to get up as Magnus spoke fondly. “No, I think we’ve got it.”

The nurse smiled, shaking her head in disbelief as she left the room.

Magnus put his right arm over Alec’s shoulder and in one perfectly executed moment, Alec helped him to stand. He was still leaning heavily on Alec and probably wouldn’t have been able to stay up on his own but their only interaction for the past few days had involved being in a room with Magnus’ father or some medical professional so it was a nice change.

The day previously, both Alec and Magnus had spoken individually and then together with the trained specialist that Catarina had told Alec about. It had only been a quick visit so they all could get accustomed but she had told them of the importance of being there for one another. Usually Magnus would have refused help but he was already finding it nice to take her advice and accept that sometimes he would need a little help. That it was okay to ask for it.

Magnus panted slightly, half because any exertion took up his energy at the moment and half because Alec looked so nice in his uniform. It had been a while since Alec had been this close to him and Magnus had forgotten how good he smelled. With the combination of one steady hand splayed over Magnus’ chest and the other around his waist, Magnus found himself more than a little breathless.

“Bed or chair?” Magnus smirked and Alec blushed as he rolled his eyes. “I meaannn, where do you want to sit?”

Magnus bolted to attention. “Oh, bed is fine. You can sit next to me then.” Alec pulled Magnus’ arm from around his shoulder and Magnus hopped slightly, falling back against the tilted headrest. He moved back until he was comfortable and Alec walked around to the table to get their food. “What’s in the bag? The doctors want me on some stupid health regime but I swear, if there’s anything green in there-” He grumbled. “I did not survive two brain tumours just to be put on a diet.”

Alec laughed, shaking his head. “Cheeseburger for you and a plain one for me. I stopped by the fast food place on the way here.”

Magnus’ face lit up and he reached out to grab one of the burgers from Alec. Alec watched carefully, making sure to let Magnus unwrap it on his own unless he asked for help.

When Alec had spoken with the counsellor, she had told him to hold back on helping Magnus with everything. She had said that she could see how much he cared for Magnus but it would do so much more for him if he managed to do things on his own.

Magnus grinned triumphantly as he managed to undo the wrapper with one hand. He sat back with his eyes closed and took a bite from his burger. He looked so happy that Alec could have burst into tears right there. Magnus had been complaining about the hospital food all week and maybe this was what he had needed to cheer him up again.

Magnus reached over to the bedside table and carefully grabbed his drink bottle, taking a sip. “Alexander, you absolute angel! Come here.” Alec walked around the table, his own burger in his hand. Magnus set his down on top of the wrapper and tilted his head up for Alec to kiss him. Alec leaned down, kissing Magnus softly. He had been through a lot, even though Magnus wouldn’t admit it, and Alec was a bit frightened of accidentally hurting him.

At first, Magnus leaned up and gently pressed his lips against Alec’s; pulling him closer. As Alec gave in and relaxed, Magnus created more pressure between them, exclaiming a quiet noise of surprise, as if he'd found something new and wonderful all over again.

Alec found himself caught off guard. Magnus cupped the back of his head with his right hand, breathing heavily as he parted Alec’s lips with his tongue. Alec sighed into the kiss as his own moved against Magnus’ softly, opening his mouth as everything increased in intensity. Alec knew this was probably a bad idea but he didn't want to stop. It felt so good. They hadn't been alone since being back at Magnus’ house and if their usual kisses made Alec see stars, this made him see whole galaxies of them. Alec moaned quietly and Magnus moaned back as if in agreement. He leaned down further and Magnus moved back without breaking contact, letting Alec lean over him as their jaws moved in an alternating sequence and they both groaned quietly. Alec put his hand on Magnus’ collarbone, his thumb circling at the base Magnus’ neck. Magnus’ desperately gripped the back of Alec’s as he leaned forward and back again, pulling Alec with him as he hungered for more; pulling him close but not close enough as he felt himself going warm in the face. They breathed deeply out of their noses, sharing the same air, not caring that they were seconds from losing all self control with each other. Even though everything was difficult with only one working arm, Magnus was determined to keep a hold on Alec. There had been times where they had nearly slipped away from one another but now they were both determined to fight and hold onto each other with everything they had. He never wanted to let him go now.

Even though it was screaming against every instinct that he had, Alec had to be the one to stop them. He could feel Magnus’ kisses spreading further apart, deeper and unfocused as he got more exhausted. Magnus’ pulse was hammering under his fingertips and Alec knew that is was the right thing to do. He didn’t want Magnus to worry so thought on his feet as he broke away, holding up his burger between them. “Magnus, I’m sorry. You know I love you and as much as I could do this all day, I actually took my medication before I came so I need to eat. Is that okay?”

Magnus nodded, sitting back and rubbing his mouth as he laughed softly. He reached for his own burger with a flourish and took a bite. “Of course. You’ve got to look after yourself and besides, I’m not going anywhere.” Alec nodded, looking grateful as he sat down in the chair that was next to Magnus’ bed. “How are you feeling after school? And don’t say you’re fine if you’re not. Remember what the woman said to both of us.”

Alec pulled the chair closer and spoke next to Magnus’ ear. He made it look endearing but it was also because it would make it easier for Magnus to hear him. He leaned with his arm against Magnus’ chest and shoulder, bumping their heads gently. “I’m okay, actually. I’m a little tired after school but I guess I didn’t realise how much it would take it out of me.” Alec lifted his head and Magnus turned on his side to face him, shutting his eyes as Alec brushed the freckle on his cheek and spoke quietly. “I love being there and it was nice to see everyone but it’s just… I don’t know if I’m ready to go back yet. I don’t like admitting defeat to anything but between all the fuss from everyone, my anxiety and all that walking, I just-”

Magnus glanced up, meeting Alec’s eyes. The room wasn’t lit very well but Alec was still close enough to be able to count every gorgeous fleck that went through them. Tones of copper and specks of gold in each one. Alec had dropped Jace at Clary’s house yesterday and had gone in quickly to say hi. He’d seen some of her paintings, which were amazing, but he doubted anyone would be able to capture not only the beauty but the bright light that came from Magnus’ eyes. Full of life. Beautiful and kind.

Magnus spoke quietly as he reached for Alec’s hand. “Hey. I get it, Alexander. There’s absolutely no rush until you’re ready-” Alec sighed, gently rubbing Magnus’ fingers between his own.

“I know... but I wanted to start applying for universities. Magnus... I honestly don’t think it’s going to happen now-” Magnus blinked at him, preparing himself to have to explain how sometimes people had to take different paths and how it was all part of a higher purpose. “-But I think I’m okay with it.”

“You are?” Magnus looked up slightly and his eyes widened. Alec smiled sweetly as he nodded. 

“Yeah. I just…” Alec paused and Magnus nodded slightly, encouraging him to say what was on his mind. “...I don’t think I want to go to university anymore.”

Magnus sat up slowly and reached for Alec’s hand again as he faced him. “You don’t?”

Alec shook his head and kissed Magnus’ hand. “I mean... it would take years to get a degree, even if I knew what I really wanted to do and got through each year of it. It would be so much work and I think it’s time I was honest with myself... I’m just not prepared to put myself through it.”

Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand. He hadn’t expected to be hearing this but all he wanted was for Alec to be happy. “So... what are you thinking?”

“I don’t know yet. I think that I’d like to just get a job somewhere. I think I’d be happy with anything really. I mean, I know it involves you too because we might get a place together some day and have bills to pay. I know it’s way in the future but if when you went to uni-”

“Alexander... I’m not going either.” Magnus shook his head, taking in Alec’s startled look.

“You’re not? I don’t want you to decide not to because of me. I would hate to think-”

“No, no. It’s not because of that. I was looking into it. Like you said with the time it takes, the work and my health, it’s just not going to be possible anymore. It’s too dangerous if I had a seizure and I don’t think the police would take me anyway. There’s something you should know too... I asked my father to give in my notice at the pet store. I was only working part time anyway and they said I could go back once I was better but it will take ages and I’d rather them pay someone who can actually work.” Alec sat more upright and brushed his thumb over Magnus’ cheek.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Alexander. Sometimes, life just goes a different way.” Alec was looking down and Magnus tilted his own gaze down to get Alec to look at him. “I mean, look at us. It feels like we’ve had a lifetime together already and neither of us expected to find what we have. Just because things turn out different, it doesn’t mean that the story is over. It just means that a new one is beginning. I want a new start, Alexander… I want a new start with you.”

Alec leaned forward, pressing their lips together softly. “I love you so much, Magnus. Like I can’t even describe it-”

“I love you, too. More than words. We can look for jobs later-”

Alec shook Magnus’ hand. “There’s no rush now, okay? Let’s just figure it all out together. Focus on getting us both better. I don’t mind whatever happens as long as I’m with you.”

Alec sat back and Magnus groaned. His left hand was cramping up and Alec reached over, taking it in his own and rubbing it gently until it relaxed. Magnus watched the smooth motions of Alec’s gesture as he spoke quietly. “I can’t wait to just get out of here now…” He chuckled. “In the nicest way possible, I honestly hope you’re going as crazy as I am.”

Alec laughed, setting Magnus’ hand down gently before standing up for a second. “Are you kidding me?! It’s actually embarrassing. My Mom put strawberry ice cream in front of us all the other day and I had to stand in the hall for a second and calm myself down.”

Magnus laughed with his hand over his mouth, watching as Alec moved away. “You did not!”

“Oh, I so did!” Alec laughed again as he walked over to the table. “I guess it’s probably not the best idea to have bought these.” Alec reached into the carrier bag and pulled out two strawberry milkshakes. “I’m sorry but I couldn’t resist.” Magnus cracked up as Alec handed one to him with the straw on top, remembering to let Magnus open it himself unless he asked for help.

“Oh just what I could do with! Can you open the straw and put it in for me?” Alec smiled as he unpacked the straw and put it into the top of the plastic lid. Magnus took a sip and leaned back with his eyes closed. “Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more.” Alec took a long sip of his own, Making Magnus laugh when he gave himself brain freeze. “Careful, or you’ll end up in here with me.”

Alec sat back down in his chair. “Oh, the scandal! They’d quickly let you home then. Can you imagine?” Alec snorted as he took another sip. “They’d be so fed up of us.”

Magnus took several more sips of his milkshake and passed it to Alec, implying he’d had enough. Alec took it off him and set it down on the table so Magnus could have it later and yawned as he came back to Magnus’ side. “Believe me, Alexander. I love you being here but let me know when you want to go home, okay? I know how tired you get and if you’re anything like me, you probably haven’t been sleeping very well.”

Alec nodded. “Yes, I don’t like sleeping without you now...I’ll stay for a bit though.” Alec gestured to Magnus’ hand so that he could take his burger wrapper to the bin. Magnus passed it over and Alec walked away for a second. When he came back, he took Magnus’ hand in his own, kissing it softly. “You know...It’s strange to see you without nail polish.”

Magnus looked at his hands. He would be glad when he was better and could not only feel more like himself but actually look like himself again. “I know. I could do my left, now that they’ll let me, but I wouldn’t be able to do my right.”

Alec cocked his head. “I could do your right if you wanted to do the left.” 

Magnus nodded as his face lit up. “Sure. My bag is by the sink.” Magnus sat up properly and Alec brought the table over, moving it over Magnus’ bed. “Thank you for the flowers by the way. There’s a cup by the sink if you want to give them some water. They’re beautiful.” Alec turned his back and walked over to the corner of the room.

“Like you are then?”

Magnus laughed, his hand immediately going to the side of his head. “What? Even with these scars across my head?”

Alec nodded, pulling his seat closer and setting the makeup case on the bed. He opened it quietly and reached for Magnus’ right hand before opening the black polish and starting on his thumb. “I can’t promise it’ll be perfect. I’ve never used this before.” Alec lowered his voice as he traced Magnus, thumb. “You know, Magnus... you’re still beautiful with your tiger stripes. I know you might not like them now but I have different marks from my surgery and treatment, and I’m trying to accept them. I’m not saying you have to but they’re a symbol of everything you’ve overcome. I just… I don’t think they’re anything to be ashamed of. You should be showing them off, not hiding them.”

Magnus laughed. “‘Tiger stripes’...You’re something else, Alexander.” Alec blushed as he looked down and concentrated. “I get what you mean though and thank you. I never saw it like that.” Magnus looked down as Alec dipped the brush back in and set the bottle on the table. “Try taking some off the brush by moving it against the top.” Alec did as Magnus said and within a few minutes, each of Magnus’ nails were almost perfectly painted. Magnus smiled as held up his hand.

“Not bad at all.” Alec looked rather pleased with himself. Alec held out the bottle and grabbed a magazine to put under Magnus’ hand, watching carefully as Magnus' face lit up in wonder at the sight of painting his own nails. He had needed some control over his look again. “Say, where’s your dad?”

Magnus shrugged and stuck his tongue out while he worked. “On the phone with Lily, maybe. She’s been swamped with work and helping to fill in for Father so she hasn’t been able to come down yet. He video called her so I could see her though. She said she’d come down one weekend soon. There, what do you think?”

Alec smiled and nodded. "Looks great!" Both of them yawned and Alec did up the bottle, putting it back into Magnus’ case. He moved the table to the side and sat down on the bed, one arm around Magnus’ shoulder and the other over his chest. Magnus looked over his hands as he leaned into Alec, closing his eyes. “Oh, I could just stay like this forever.”

Magnus nodded and smiled as he repeated Alec’s words back to him.“Forever’s an awfully long time though, Alexander.”

Alec yawned again as he closed his own eyes, taking in the steady sound of Magnus’ breathing.“Maybe just for a few minutes then. And Magnus?" He chuckled. "Forever's not long when I’m with you.” Alec stayed in silence for a minute, watching Magnus’ chest rise up and down as he drifted off to sleep in total comfort. Alec moved so he was lying down next to Magnus, kicking his shoes off to the side. The room was silent and everything was good. They were warm in each other’s arms again.

Maybe they would only get a few minutes and someone would be in to wake them up. Maybe they would have a few hours. Alec didn’t know. But as Magnus’ slept quietly, finally at peace with himself, maybe, Alec thought, he could find himself some peace too.

***

“Is there anywhere else you want to look, sweetheart?”

Izzy smiled as she walked along with her hands full of shopping bags. It was going to get dark soon and they had been out for hours. Maryse had ordered pizza for Jace and Alec because Max was going to Tavvy’s but Alec had still been out when they had left. “I think that’s pretty much everything. Do you mind if we go and see Simon? He’s probably packing up the shop by now.”

Maryse nodded and followed behind as Izzy walked to the candy store. Izzy had had a few boyfriend’s over the years but Simon sounded different to the past boys Izzy had been out with. Maryse wasn’t sure what to expect but she had heard from her children and Clary was that he was sweet and a little bit nervous until he got to know people.

When they entered the store, Simon was facing away and putting things on the shelf behind the desk. At the sound of Izzy’s voice, Simon turned around and grinned. His eyes widened as he noticed Maryse standing behind her, swallowing as he spoke. “Um, hi, Iz. I didn’t expect you here today. If- If you want something in particular, I can help you look around if you- you’d rather look yourself then-”

Izzy laughed, grabbing Simon’s hand before he could run. “Social call. Simon, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Simon looked up at Maryse, holding out his hand. “Um, Lewis- Si-Si- Simon Lewis.”

Maryse laughed and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Simon. I’m Isabelle’s mother.”

Simon nodded as he put his hands behind his back. “Nice- it’s very nice to meet you.”

Maryse smiled at him, putting Simon at ease slightly. She’d never actually been properly introduced to a boyfriend or girlfriend by one of her children. She’d met Magnus when they had all been having their blood tested for Alec and she had met Clary briefly when Jace had been prematurely dropped home by Luke, after he had found Jace and Clary kissing on Clary’s bed with the door closed.

Izzy’s phone went off and she pulled it from her pocket, glancing at the screen. “Mom, Alec just got in and Jace says he might need you. I don't know why.” 

Maryse nodded, picking up half of the shopping bags from the floor. “Sorry for the flying visit but a mother’s work is never done. Simon, perhaps you and Clary would like to come over for dinner some time?”

Simon offered to ask Clary while Izzy picked up the rest of the bags. Maryse’s phone started ringing and she waved to Simon as she put it against her ear and walked out. The bell on the door dinged and Simon and Izzy were left alone in the empty store, Maryse just visible through the decalled glass.

Izzy took Simon’s hands, grinning as she held them both in front of her. “So...that’s my mom.”

“She looks like you. Thank you for bringing her. It seems less scary if it’s just your dad to meet, I guess.” Izzy looked over Simon’s shoulder. Maryse was speaking quietly but she didn’t look upset or worried so that was a good sign.

“Simon, I know with everything going on, we haven’t had a lot of time to go out-”

“Iz, honestly. It’s fine.” Simon chuckled, swinging Izzy’s hands and making her laugh. Without thinking, Izzy removed her hands and placed her arms over Simon’s shoulders. His heart was racing but he managed to remain calm as he placed his hands on the curves of Izzy’s waist. “I'm crazy about you, Iz. You're worth the wait. You really are." Izzy’s face went pink as she tilted her head. “I’m serious. If I’m coming over, I guess that means I’ll know your whole family...How...would you feel about dinner at mine sometime? You could meet my Mom and my sister.”

“I’d love that.” Izzy looked over Simon’s shoulder again. Maryse was facing away.

“Iz, you look nervous. Was there something you wanted-”

Simon was cut off as Izzy gently pressed her lips to his own. It was only a few seconds but it was everything they had both been waiting for. Simon leaned in, his thumbs brushing over Izzy’s waist before she broke away. Izzy spoke quietly, her nose next to Simon’s. They both beamed and everything in their future together flashed in front of their eyes.

“My mom’s waiting... I have to go.”

Simon mumbled quietly. “I don’t want you to...”

“I don't want to either. But I’ll see you tomorrow?” Simon picked up Izzy’s bags and walked her to the door.

“I’d love that. Maybe we could go out tomorrow night? I could pick you up and we could go out somewhere nice for food. My treat.” Izzy took the bags from Simon and kissed his cheek. “What’s that for?”

“For being you. Goodnight, Simon.”

Simon opened the door, making the bell ding. “Goodnight, Iz. I’ll text you later.”

Izzy waved as she practically skipped up to Maryse and Simon watched as she bumped against Izzy's side, making her blush. Simon closed the door and switched the sign from open to closed. He took a few steps, observing the empty store. He punched the air as he jumped, rushing to catch things as he knocked over one of the displays.

***

“Dios. I think it worked, Ragnor. They’re waking up.”

Alec blinked at Magnus, trying to figure out what had happened. His arm was numb from being laid on and Magnus had his right leg over Alec’s as they cuddled up to one another. It took Alec a moment to get his bearings. He blinked his eyes, taking in the dim light, the sterile scent of hospital and finally the three others who were in the room with them. Alec darted upright, pulling back the blanket as his cheeks went crimson red. Magnus looked at Alec and then laughed with the three other inhabitants of the room, making Alec more than a little confused as he stood up, trying to control his breathing. “Alexander, it’s okay. These are my friends. I messaged Cat earlier, asking if they could stop by.”

Alec nodded, finally calming down. “I think we fell asleep.”

“We did. Alexander, this is Cat Loss, Caterina’s daughter; Ragnor Fell and Raphael Santiago.”

Alec held up his hand in a greeting. Cat rushed over and hugged Magnus tightly. Maybe it was because he was so protective of Magnus or maybe it was because he was generally untrusting of new people but Alec found himself worrying that she would hurt him in some way. When Magnus grinned and hugged her back, Alec relaxed slightly. He noticed Alec’s expression and tapped next to him for Alec to sit down again. Alec eyed up the other three with a cautious look and put his arm over Magnus’ shoulder. “Everyone, this is Alexander. My boyfriend.”

Cat smiled and waved to Alec. Ragnor cleared his throat. He had a deep voice and an accent that Alec didn’t recognise but it seemed friendly enough. “I hope we weren't intruding. We just saw your father and he said to say hi for a minute. He said he’s coming with the doctor to speak to you so we just wanted to say hello quickly. It’s nice to see you happy, Magnus. It’s good to see that you are being taken care of.”

Magnus leaned back with Alec hugging his side. “Yes, the doctors and nurses are-”

The door opened and Asmodeus walked in; a nurse and a female doctor hovering behind him. Magnus sat up and hugged Cat again before they all promised to message later. Cat walked out, taking Ragnor’s hand to Magnus’ surprise. Raphael hung back for a second, nodding to Magnus.

“It’s good to see you again and I’m glad that you are doing better, hermano.” He moved to walk out but said one final thing as he turned to do so. Magnus tilted his head. Raphael rarely said exactly what he meant and was a bit cryptic at times but even though he had a funny way of showing it, he cared deeply for those close to him. “What Ragnor said about you being well cared for...He wasn’t implying it was about the doctors.”

Raphael shut the door behind himself and Alec and Magnus blinked at each other. Asmoeus pulled up the chair and sat down next to Magnus. Alec unwrapped his arm from Magnus’ shoulder, getting up and taking the chair on the other side. When they both looked up expectantly, Asmodeus’ spoke and gestured to the woman in front of them. “Magnus, this is the specialist audiology doctor. She’s here to discuss your test results with you.”

***

“Simon, do you realise what the time is?”

Simon clenched his teeth as Jocelyn pulled the door open. “Sorry, Mrs. F. I know it’s a school night but I just need to speak with Clary realllyy quickly.”

Jocelyn nodded and gestured her head up, indicating to the ceiling. “Clary’s in her room. No starting any novels, board games or movies, deal?”

Simon nodded as he rushed past, taking the stairs two at a time. He’d practically grown up in this house, as well as his own, and knew every mark and bump. The corner of the ceiling, at the top of the stairs, always had a cobweb or two because Luke was too busy with work to clean them and both Clary and her mother were too short to reach. The floorboard on the landing squeaked as he rushed because him and Clary had discovered a few years back that it could be used as a secret compartment. He noted the notch in the wall as he approached Clary’s bedroom door, from when he had seen a spider once and him and Clary had gone in one second from laying on their stomachs on Clary' bed to Simon screeching and nearly running over her back, like a cartoon cat, to run out.

“Hey, Fray. You in?”

Simon knocked on the door and listened quietly. Years of knowing and spending time with Clary often came into use. There had been a time when they were little and he would have just walked in but things had changed when they started high school. He could tell, even with the door shut, that from Clary’s tone, she was video chatting with her earbuds plugged in. Simon knocked the door with more force and Clary shouted for him to come in. He pulled the door open and stuck his head inside. “Am I interrupting?”

Clary pulled her earbuds out and set them down on her bedside table. She was in her pyjamas but she wasn’t under the covers and her leg was propped up on a cushion. “Not at all. I was just saying night to Jace. What’s up?”

Simon shut the door and flew across the room in one quick motion. He gestured with his hands up as if he were about to catch a ball. “Izzy kissed me!”

Clary grinned as she shot up, balancing on one leg. “WHAT!? Aww, Simon! That’s awesome!” Simon beamed as put his hands on either side of his face. He sat down on the bed and Clary sat next to him as she poked him and squealed. “Simon!! Sooo...How was it? Tell me everything!”

“Amazing, Clary! Just really sweet. She came to see me at the shop and I met her Mom. She went outside to talk on the phone and Izzy kissed me. I can't even describe-”

“Simon, I’m so happy for you!!" She laughed as she let out a breath. "...We both did pretty well, didn’t we?”

Simon held out his hand for Clary to take and placed his other on top. “We sure did, Clary.... I have a feeling that this year is going to be a good one.” Simon exclaimed. “The summer holidays are in a few months and then there’s just one more year of school for us. That’s it.”

"I can't wait!"

"Me either and I was thinking-"

Clary sat up straighter and held up her hand. “Hang on a second...You were working today?! Where are my red gummy bears?!”

Simon swallowed. "Umm…"

***

Jace lifted his head from where he was lying on the couch. He’d wanted to watch a movie but with no one else in the house, he’d quickly lost interest. His blanket was over him and he’d managed to convinced himself that the only reason he didn’t want to go upstairs to sleep was because, ironically, he was too tired to get up. As he lay on his back, he mumbled quietly. Honey was sleeping on his chest and her eyelashes were moving. Jace had never imagined he could have fallen for this little bundle of gold fur in the space of only the past week. He’d always imagined himself with a bulldog or an Alsatian or something but Honey had already left little paw prints on his heart. Between meeting Clary and now the puppy, Jace had found himself softening a bit. He’d always struggled with his emotions but both of his girls were opening his heart up and he'd surprised himself when he had found that he was actually okay with that.

Honey lifted her head and her ears went up. Jace hadn’t heard anything but Honey could hear like a bat. Within a few seconds, the front door was opening. She nearly left physical paw prints on his heart as she scrambled over him and Jace lifted her to set her down on the floor.

Honey screamed excitedly as she skittered across the floor. Alec was in the hallway, setting his shoes down on the bottom step of the stairs. 

“Hey, girl! Oh, hello! Hello! Have you been a good girl?! Look what Papa asked me to get you on the way home!” Jace listened as the sound of squeaking filled the house, looking up from the couch as Alec walked in. “Hey, Jace. I just saw Dad. Asmodeus wanted me to show him where Magnus’ favourite sneakers were because he kept bringing the wrong ones so we went to his and dad was bringing that bag of food for honey. I took Dad’s car here and Asmodeus said that he would-”

Jace grumbled. “Alec, you’re rambling. What’s wrong?”

Alec scratched the back of his neck. “Nothing really but I need to talk to you anyway. We got anything to eat?” Jace made a motion with his head.

“Mom ordered pizza but thought you would be back earlier. I left you some but I know you prefer cold pizza anyway. I did the usual routine.” Jace didn’t like pineapple and Alec wasn’t keen on ham so between them, they’d always order a Hawaiian pizza and switch toppings.

Alec went into the kitchen and came back with a plate in his hands. “Who are you texting?”

“No one really. Just checking the time. You were out for ages today. Everything okay? Remember that Mom and Dad said you’ve got to take it easy.” Jace moved his legs, creating space for Alec to sit down.

“I know and I have been. I’ve eaten more this week than I have in a long time and I haven’t forgotten or taken my medication late even once. And I know you’ll make fun but both me and Magnus fell asleep for a few hours earlier so I actually feel pretty good.”

“That’s good but something happened at the hospital, didn’t it?”

Alec took another bite of his pizza. “What made you think that?”

“You’re my brother. I know you. Come on. Spill.”

Alec set his plate to the side. “Okay. It’s not a huge deal and I talked to him about it and he’s coming around to the idea…”

Jace moved close to Alec, moving his blanket to the side. “What is it? Is Magnus okay?” Alec nodded, taking a deep breath. Jace's face dropped and he grumbled quietly. “Alec... Don't hide it. You’re really upset. Come here.” Jace put his arm over Alec’s shoulder and he sniffled quietly against Jace’s side. Honey was squeaking her new toy on the carpet but rushed over for Alec to pick her up.

“It’s umm… We saw a different doctor while I was there. Magnus has been having different tests and they had some results. I said I didn't have to stay if Magnus didn’t want me to hear first hand but he asked me to hold his hand while the doctor spoke with him...” Jace licked his lips. Alec was fiddling with Honey’s ears as she sat on his knees. “...Magnus isn’t going to get his hearing back. Not like before.”

Jace’s mouth opened slightly and he looked around the room. “What does that mean? I mean is he upset? How are they going to help him?”

Alec rubbed his face, wiping his eyes. Jace walked over to the fireplace. There was an unopened box of tissues on the mantelpiece and he pulled a few out, handing them to Alec. “He was upset, obviously, but I like to think I helped. They want to give him hearing aids and he refused at first... but I said that it would make things so much better for him and he maybe wouldn’t notice after a while. I argued that it’s no different from having glasses.”

Jace nodded. “It’s not. Is he going to have to wear them all the time?”

Alec licked his lips. “Maybe. He’s okay in quiet places so he might not have to at home if he's still not happy about it. We’re going to talk with the counsellor about learning some basic sign language so if he doesn’t want to wear them and I’m across the room somewhere, I can still catch his attention and ask him things. He really liked the idea.” Alec’s eyes teared up again but he actually looked a little hopeful. “He said that he might actually enjoy that because he loved when they did a lesson on it in his school and he genuinely meant it, Jace. I think I really made a difference to him. We talked for a while and it's early days but… maybe we could get Honey trained to help out. We were keeping it a surprise from everyone but we found a place where she can be trained to be a seizure alert dog for Magnus and they might also be able to train her to bring the phone and things when she's big enough.”

Jace patted Alec’s back. “Alec that's amazing!" They both chuckled as they stroked Honey's head. "She's going to help so much and of course you as well... It’s what you do when you love someone. You support them and help them to see the positives. I’m sure Magnus will need a little time... but you’ll be there for him and so will the rest of us.”

Alec smiled gratefully and went back to his pizza. “You know, I hadn’t realised why you were sleeping on the couch all week until now. You know we forgot to put up duck photos, right?” Jace’s mouth hung open and he started laughing. He threw his arm around Alec’s neck and scruffed up his hair, making him squeak. “I have to applaud your poetry, Jace. If it wasn’t so embarrassing on my part, I SO would have shown Mom and Dad.”

Jace cackled. “Well, at least I can go in my room again. You wanna go upstairs and talk? I remember we used to stay up when we were little and talk on my bed.”

Alec chuckled as he agreed. “Yes, I remember. Mom and Dad used to tell us off for laughing. I miss that.”

Alec went to the kitchen to set his plate down and take his medication. When he came back, him and Jace made their way upstairs with Honey following behind. Alec walked into Jace’s room, sitting down on the bed. Honey jumped up and he made a fuss of her, watching as Jace scrolled through his phone silently. “Jace, if you wanted to talk to Clary-”

Jace sat down with one knee bent on the side. “No, no. I was looking for something. Something for you.”

Alec pointed to his chest. “Something for me?”

Jace nodded and held his phone out so Alec could see the screen. “Yep. And something for Magnus. I’m going to teach you to sign ‘I love you’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ❤ Everyone's support has been amazing!


	29. Best Foot Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late on Sunday, Alec is making another trip to see Magnus at the hospital. The rain is pouring down but Alec feels hopeful. Maybe today could be the day that changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks everyone for being patient. This has been a lovely chapter to write and I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to join in the fun with #flutterfic on twitter <3
> 
> Song for chapter 29:[ We're Still Here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrP5ZxeGQmc&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=31&t=0s)

It was drizzling outside as Alec ran into the hospital. The weather had been miserable all day but Alec found for the first time that he didn't actually mind it. Magnus had told him once that rain should be appreciated for what it was. How could you hate something that provided life to every living thing on earth? Nurtured it? Sustained it? Alec found that he couldn't. But that didn't mean he should be out in it for a long time; no matter how vital it was.

Alec hopped through puddles and walked quickly up curbs. Magnus had always walked within the square stones outside the main entrance and Alec found himself wondering if it was a subconscious gesture or a compulsive one.

Various members of Alec's family had been visiting Magnus. Of course, they had their time alone together but Magnus was by all means, family to them too. At the moment, however, Alec was walking in on his own. Maryse and Izzy were going to the Mail office and were picking up a few supplies for the house. Robert was dropping them off and picking them up when they were finished so they had all said that they were going to stop by later. Jace and Clary had taken Max to the park for the afternoon but Jace had needed a little convincing. The park was a different one behind Clary's house that he'd never been to before and Alec smiled to himself when he'd remembered poking fun at his brother because he'd asked Clary to send photographic evidence that there were no duck ponds there.

As Alec ran in with his collar pulled up to his neck, he counted in his head how many days Magnus had been in for, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders. Alec had borrowed a hoodie from Magnus, when he'd been packing things up to bring him, and he took comfort in the fact that the hoodie was so large that it brushed past his own fingers. Images of Magnus' curled up on the couch came to mind; sipping tea with sleeves so long that Alec couldn't see where he was holding the cup. When Alec had been home for chemo and Magnus had stayed late one evening. When he had told Alec that there was nowhere else that he would have rather been in that moment. How he felt that his heart could have positively burst with the love he had for him. How he couldn't and didn't want to contain it.

Like when Alec was in hospital and Magnus had visited, Alec had been in every day to see him.

_ If today is Sunday... and we’ve met with the counsellor… six times...then Magnus has been in hospital for… nineteen days. _

As he finally reached the doors, Alec unzipped his coat and looked around the busy entrance. There were usually a lot of people around on Sundays and he’d begun to recognise a few who were regulars there; both patients and visitors. He made his way over to the small shop, picking up a couple of Magazines, a pack of biscuits and a few toffee flavoured yogurts that he knew Magnus liked. When Izzy and Maryse had been shopping two weeks before, Izzy had bought Magnus an eye shadow palette that had absolutely made him elated. After a few hours and a lot of laughing, Alec and Magnus had realised that eye shadow wasn't Alec's forte. He could do nail polish just fine but anything else would have to wait until Magnus could do everything he wanted for himself again. He didn't seem to mind some things though and Alec was more than willing to open things or take him places in his wheelchair. It had reached its peak when Magnus had joked that he'd wanted Alec to give him a bed bath without realising that both Asmodeus and two of his nurses had been  standing right behind him. 

After paying, Alec made his way over to the staircase that he’d sadly become all too familiar with. He'd actually been at the hospital that morning and had taken the elevator, but he hadn’t been there to see Magnus. He’d wanted to, badly, but Alec had been in himself for a checkup with the doctor and it had involved walking on a treadmill for ages. Alec had needed to drive home and have both dinner and a bath first. He still hadn’t gotten over his claustrophobia involving showers but when he’d mentioned it with the counsellor, she had told him that sometimes these things took time.

As he reached the second staircase, Alec noted that this was possibly going to be the first day that he’d ever been able to take both staircases to Magnus’ ward without stopping to catch his breath.

_ So far, so good... _

***

As Magus was pushed in his wheelchair, on the way out of the ward, he happened to run into Catarina. She had seen Magnus a few times since he'd been admitted but she tended to work more on the children’s ward so hadn’t been around much. Magnus had pulled her aside a few days ago and had thanked her for helping Alec when he had been brought in. Catarina had gotten all emotional and had wished both Magnus and Alec well with the counselling sessions she had helped set up for them. Cat and his other friends had visited several more times and Magnus had told them that it was likely that he wouldn't be finishing the school year with them but they'd managed to get both Magnus and Alec a ticket to the end of school dance. Caterina knew that Magnus still couldn’t hear well, especially because their were people talking in the corridor, but she'd dealt with similar patients before. She gestured quickly to Magnus, pausing until a few people stopped blocking Magnus view of her. Magnus had only been to a few signing classes and was already loving it, even if he wouldn't need it if he wore his hearing aids that he was getting later. It was primarily to give him something to do while he was stuck inside. Magnus had asked Alec to look into a proper course for them to do over the summer together and couldn't wait. Despite the minimal lessons, what Catarina signed to him in ASL (American sign language) was easy enough to interpret.

_ "Magnus, you look so much better!"  _

Magnus smiled and held his thumb up silently before signing back.  _ “Thanks. They’re taking me to physio again.” _

Catarina nodded and signed him good luck before a man walked up to her with a stethoscope around his neck. Magnus smiled to himself and wondered why kids weren't taught to sign in schools. It could be picked up so easily and beat shouting across a crowd any day. Catarina was always needed somewhere so was often in a rush. As she disappeared among the throng of people, Magnus' other nurse continued to push him on his way. Magnus looked up slightly at the rain that was pattering on the glass ceiling above. He put his hand on the side of his head, smiling when he realised that he had forgotten the bumps were no longer there. His staples had needed to stay in a little longer than planned but had been taken out a few days ago and he’d finally managed his first proper shower in weeks that didn't involve sticking his head out. Obviously, he hadn’t been able to stand for long but it had greatly lifted his mood anyway.  

For the past few days, Magnus had been going down to the physio department to build up his strength again. He hadn’t been able to walk yet which was still bothering him but he could stand for a short amount of time with a bar on either side of him. He’d also seen someone in the same department who came from something called ‘Occupational health.’ Basically, it was their job to take him into the area that was made up like a real kitchen and show him a load of cool ways to open things one handed, just using his left arm to hold things against himself instead of using his hand. A few mornings ago, he’d been able to make beans and toast for himself and was so happy that he’d cried to Alec over the phone. Alec was immensely proud of how he was doing and had said that as soon as Magnus could come home to him, he could make beans and toast for them both.

***

Alec was elated as he reached Magnus’ room. Despite his chest that was rising up and down quickly, he couldn’t wait to tell Magnus that he’d gotten all the way without stopping. Alec pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket, remembering the suggestion from the woman who was helping them. In one of their joint sessions with her, she’d asked Alec and Magnus to make a list of all the short and long term goals that they wanted to achieve. The goals were mainly individual but some were for them both to do together. Alec had typed up and printed them at home so they could each have a copy to carry with them. Of course, they could add to them when they wanted but Magnus suggested Alec type them out because he liked the control and order to using the computer.

Alec had helped Magnus tick off his list when Magnus had been finally been able to stand up unassisted again, even if it was for a few seconds, Alec said it had counted. Magnus had helped Alec tick off his when he had started his anxiety medication. It wouldn’t be a step for most, but was a huge achievement for Alec.

Alec peered into the room and set down the things he had bought. Magnus had text earlier to say that Asmodeus had gone home to do washing and things but Alec didn’t know where Magnus had gone. Considering he couldn’t stand for a very long time and he hadn’t been able to walk yet, he couldn’t have gone far.

Alec sat down on the edge of the bed for a moment, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He looked up as Catarina walked past the door. She did a double take and hung in the door for a second. Alec got up walk over because she usually insisted on hugging him but he noticed she was panting and she was holding up her arms with something all down the front of them. She noted Alec’s startled look and held up her hands as she chuckled. “Glue. Craft therapy with the kids.”

One side of Alec's mouth raised in amusement as Catarina pulled at a sequin on her arm. “Sounds fun. Do you know-”

Catarina responded before he asked, gesturing her head to her right. “Just seen him. Same room as yesterday.”

Alec thanked her and was gone within a few seconds.

***

“Okay. Are you ready to stand?”

Magnus nodded as he felt an arm under each of his own. He always had two men helping him with his physio but he didn’t know their last names. One was called ‘Raj’. One was called ‘Victor.’ As far as Magnus was concerned, they were both asses and the sooner he could walk again, the sooner he could get shot of them. Asmodeus had argued that they weren’t there to be his friends, they were there to do a job but as they helped Magnus to stand between the parallel bars on either side of the long, rectangular mat, he couldn’t help but think that it would be much easier if he’d had nice physios who he could crack a joke with.

Magnus chuckled quietly to himself as they helped him to hold himself up. They had told Alec off for distracting him the other day so (not that they needed encouraging) Alec and Magnus had been playing up to Raj and Victor by kissing each other whenever they could during Magnus’ physio sessions.

“Okay, we’re going to do the same as last time.” Magnus nodded as he looked at Victor who was in front of him. “Put your weight into your hands and pick your right leg up off the floor.” Magnus nodded as he gripped the bars. They were in line with his waist and with one on either side of him, he’d started being able to put weight onto his left leg for a few seconds. It would have been hard enough without his left sided weakness but when he’d had his surgery and had lost his hearing to a degree, his balance had been thrown off.

Magnus fell forward slightly and Raj caught hold of his arm from the side. The bars didn’t offer much support and dug into his hands. He shook his head in frustration. The last thing he wanted was blisters, especially when doing anything these days relied solely on his ability to keep hold of things. Magnus repeated the gesture a few times before slipping forward. Victor had moved around to his other side and both him and Raj caught Magnus under each of his arms. They were primarily there to stop him falling, despite the thin safety mat that was under him but it was still frightening when his hands kept giving way. Magnus steadied himself again and sighed as Victor nodded. Magnus gestured for them to stop a second. He was already sweating and unzipped the hoodie he was wearing as they helped him stand. He didn't have anything else on underneath it because he knew by now how warm the physio department got.

“Come on, Magnus. You can do it” 

Magnus sniffled. He didn’t want to get upset in front of them but he’d been at this for well over a week and felt as if he wasn’t much further along than when he had started. They kept insisting that Magnus was strong enough to stand unassisted and it was just about confidence but he didn’t quite believe them yet. “I need to stop for a second. I can't just do this with you rushing me!”

Raj slightly loosened his grip on Magnus’ arm. “You can. Magnus, we’re not trying to make your life hell. If you want to get home-”

“Don’t give me all that ‘you have to put effort in!’ I have put effort in! You try having two brain tumours, two lots of surgery and losing your sense of balance!” Magnus stopped for a second, listening as the door opened and closed behind him. He wanted to turn around and look but he knew by now that if he twisted in that way, his left leg would give way.

Raj looked at Victor and nodded. “Give him a break for a few minutes.”

Victor pushed the chair up to the end of the mat where Magnus stood and put the brakes on, nodding to Magnus that he could sit down if he wanted. They moved away for a second, whispering quietly amongst themselves. Magnus stood up straighter and panted as he gripped the bars as tightly as he could, putting his full weight onto his right leg.

Magnus grinned as a head was tucked into the nape of his neck, instantly relaxing him. Alec had come in quietly but had been waiting until Magnus was done with his exercises. Magnus sighed as he spoke. Alec smelt like rain and coffee.

"Hi, sweetie. You okay?"

Alec grumbled in his ear, teasing Magnus quietly. "You give me the word and I will end them."

Magnus stomach shook as he laughed. Alec rested his chin on Magnus’ shoulder and stood behind him so that Magnus could lean back into him and rest for a moment. Alec hadn't seen Magnus from the front so found himself pleasantly surprised when he curled his arms over Magnus' waist and found his hands slipping not over fabric but Magnus' warm skin. His stomach had toned up nicely since being on his intense fitness regime and Alec breathed out shakily against Magnus' neck, ignoring the murmurs from the corner as his hands brushed up Magnus’ stomach and then over his chest. They hadn't had a moment alone together in well over a week. Magnus turned his head so his lips here mere millimetres from Alec’s, sighing as they both leaned towards each other with their lips parted.

"Right! Back to work!"

Magnus bit his bottom lip and shook his head, half in anger and half as he tried not to laugh. Alec waited until he stood up straight again and kissed his cheek softly, drawing out the time as much as he could and making Magnus giggle. Alec slowly ducked under the bar, whistling slightly as he waved at Victor to carry on. Magnus noted to himself that Alec probably wanted to gesture something more crude for stopping them from kissing

Raj knelt down in front of Magnus and Alec watched as he held out his hand, as if he wanted a high five from Magnus’ foot. Alec had seen Magnus do this exercise before and knew that it involved Magnus lifting his right leg and tapping his sneaker against the hand of someone in front of him, as they moved it to a different position. Raj had pulled the chair away and put it to the side so Alec sat down carefully and watched silently, wanting to rush forward every time that Magnus' hands slipped and Raj caught him under the arms.

Alec crossed his own arms and lifted his chin as he murmured. "Why don't you raise the bars?"

Victor stopped for a second and blinked at Alec. Raj turned his head slightly but continued to hold Magnus up as he spoke. "Are you telling me how to do my job?"

Alec held his hands up. He got up and walked over. He glanced at Magnus, in case he didn't want Alec involved. Magnus nodded quietly with his head down and gripped the bars tighter, signalling that it was okay.

Raj glanced at Victor and he nodded. "Let him speak if he has an idea."

Raj sighed and held up his hands in defeat.

"I know Magnus, okay? He's more comfortable using the strength in his upper arms than his hands. Why don't you raise the bars so he can hold himself under his arms instead? He's not going to need his hands to walk, this is about building the strength in his leg, so why don't you see if he can stand using his arms to support him instead of his hands? Wouldn't that be easier than his hands slipping? Because his left hand isn't strong enough for it..."

Victor glanced at Raj who was looking mildly annoyed at how clever the idea was. "It's not a bad idea, Raj."

Raj nodded. "By all means, he can try it. Sit down for a moment and we'll adjust them." Raj and Victor helped Magnus back to the chair and both him and Alec watched as they clicked the buttons on either side of the parallel bars and lifted them up.

Magnus glanced up at Alec and reached for his hand. Alec took it, wrapping Magnus' fingers around his own. "You're so clever, Alexander. I hope this works." 

Alec smiled down at him. A sweet boyish smile that Magnus had come to love. Full of hopeful optimism and pride. "Me too. I love you."

"I love you too, Alexander."

Victor turned around and put his hands on his hips. "You'll have the mat under you so you won’t get hurt but we won't be able to catch you under the arms if you slip. Are you sure you're okay with that?"

Magnus nodded. "I want to try. The other way isn't working. Even if I can stand for longer with less weight on my leg, I think it'll help me." Alec set Magnus' hand down and both Raj and Victor put an arm under Magnus', pulling him up. Alec pulled the chair away and they lifted Magnus’ arms so the bars were underneath them. Alec walked around to the other end of the mat so Magnus was facing him. Magnus glanced down and a smile flashed across his face. He could finally put his left foot down flat and his face lit up as he pulled his right leg away. For the first time since before his surgery, Magnus was standing solely on his left foot.

Magnus glanced up at Alec who was ecstatic. His usual composure gone, Alec was jumping up and down. Magnus set his right leg down again and picked up his left. "What if I could do more than stand up like this? What if I could use it to walk?"

Raj glanced at Victor and nodded as he bit the side of his cheek. "He can try, can’t he? It's a lot of weight on his arms though..."

Magnus looked up as he caught Alec's eye from in front of him. "I don't mind. I- I want to try. If I fall, I fall, but I'll get back up and I'll try again."

Alec smiled sweetly. "You will, Magnus. You always do."

Magnus smiled back and put his weight into his arms. He leaned too far forward for a second and stopped to adjust himself. Magnus glanced at Alec again and Alec nodded back encouragingly as Magnus lifted his left foot. He swung it forward slightly and paused for a second before placing it down again as he gasped shakily. He lifted his right leg and put his weight onto his left toes before moving forward and placing his right foot down next to the other one. Alec jumped up and down as he clapped and Magnus' face hurt from smiling so much.

"That's it, Magnus! You stepped forward!! Oh, my God! I'm so proud of you!" Magnus chuckled as he repeated the same motion, moving his arms forward as he placed his left foot forward and met it with his right again. He repeated the action again in three quick motions, gaining confidence. This time, instead of stepping forward with his left, he stepped forward with his right letting go off the bars and with two strides, rushing into Alec’s arms. “Magnus! Oh, my God! Baby! I’m so proud of you!”

Magnus sobbed in Alec’s arms, panting as he looked up. “I did it! I walked again, Alexander! I walked!” Alec blinked tears from his eyes, gathering Magnus close to him and pressing their lips together. Magnus was exhausted but laughing as Alec held him up and kissed him. It was only when Magnus broke away to catch his breath that Alec looked up and realised they had an audience. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house as Maryse, Robert and Asmodeus clapped from across the room. Isabelle was wiping her face, holding onto Maryse’s side and even Victor and Raj were choked up and clearing their throats.

Magnus glanced up at Alec and blushed as Alec helped him turn around. Alec lifted Magnus’ arm so it was around his shoulders and bowed them both slightly, earning another round of applause from everyone else.

Magnus leaned into Alec’s shoulder as he smiled. The room sounded distorted as everyone else walked over and all congratulated Magnus at once. Seeing the drained look on his face, Asmodeus offered to help his son stand up and Alec brought Magnus’ chair over as everyone else spoke amongst themselves. Izzy was still wiping tears from her eyes as Alec leaned down to hug Magnus, speaking into his ear and wiping the tears on Magnus’ face.

“Magnus...you have no idea...” Magnus hugged him tighter and his face buried into Alec's neck. "...How proud I am and how happy I am for you."

Magnus licked his lips and bumped his head against Alec's. "I couldn't have done it without you...Alexander. Listen… there's somewhere else I need to go today. I was going to just go with my father but will you come with me?"

Alec smiled before kissing Magnus' forehead. "Whenever and wherever you want."

***

"Wow...when you said your dad wanted the best for you… you really meant it."

Magnus nodded as they watched the woman bring the case over. She was a few years older than Alec and Magnus. Pretty. Magnus' eye had immediately drifted to the scars on her neck and he had blushed and looked away, slightly ashamed even though he wasn’t sure what for. However, she had quickly put him at ease and told him there was nothing to worry about. She had also noticed the visible scar on the right side of his head and smiled in acknowledgement that they were both survivors in some form or another.

"I appreciate it, Father, but you didn't have to spring for something as hi-tech as this."

Alec lifted his chin as the lady unzipped the case.

"They're not that hi-tech, Son...they just have Bluetooth so you can listen to music and things with them."

"Okay, Magnus. You stay here, with Alec, and me and your father are going to go behind the glass behind you while I set things up. Just talk normally with Alec here and you'll hear a few beeps. I won't say when I switch them on but you should be able to tell the difference."

Magnus swallowed and nodded to her hands. "Is that them?"

"Sure is. What do you think of the colour?" She held out the open case, showing Magnus the hearing aids. Magnus smiled slightly. His hands were shaking and Alec held them gently.

"Great. They offered me skin coloured ones but I wanted the purple. Alexander was right. It's nothing I should try and hide."

The woman nodded and one at a time, she carefully put one of the hearing aids behind each of Magnus' ears. "How's the fit?"

"Great. I can't really feel them." Alec pulled his phone from his pocket, switching on the front facing camera. Magnus took it gratefully and glanced at the screen, turning his head to either side so he could have a good look. Magnus handed it back and nodded before taking Alec's hand in his right again. From where they sat on the couch, the woman leaned over and pressed something on the back of each one. They made a small tune each.

"That's just them saying ‘hello’ when they wake up. You'll have the instructions but different tones will mean different things. When battery changes are needed etc. You’ll get the hang of them quickly. Are you ready to get things started?"

Magnus chuckled nervously and Alec squeezed his hand. "Sure. It'll be nice not to sound like I'm in a fish bowl."

"Okay, Alec, if you want to take the chair across the room, me and Magnus' father will go into the office."

She nodded to Asmodeus and they both stood up. The door to the other section of the room was open and after Asmodeus and the woman sat behind the glass, Alec watched as she tapped at the computer and gestured for them to talk to one another.

"Are you nervous?"

Magnus shook his head. "Not really. Today's been a busy day, hasn't it?"

"It has. I'm really proud of you."

Magnus laughed and his cheeks went pink. "You keep saying that!"

"But I am! I'm so proud of you!"

"Now you know how I feel every time I see you do something new, Alexander!" Alec blushed himself and Magnus smirked. "What else can we talk about? OH! I know! Tell me about your homework that school gave you!"

Since it was so close to the end of school, Alec's teacher had agreed to let him do his work over email and Alec had briefly texted Magnus about it that morning. He would need to go in for a maths and English exam in a few weeks but at least he would have some qualifications from school. Magnus had decided what he wanted to do as a job but was still working it all out and hadn't told Alec yet.

"It was good. They gave me a few assignments and I sent one off today." He laughed. "I was trying to do it on the couch but Honey kept pulling at my pant leg because Jace had bought her a bone but had put it on the coffee table-" Magnus put his hand over his mouth and his eyes filled up with tears. "Oh, Magnus, don't cry! I made sure she had it!"

Magnus pulled his hand away. He was beaming as tears spilled over his cheeks. "Alexander, I can hear you!"

Alec rushed over, leaning in front of Magnus. "Magnus, I love you. I love you so much!"

Magnus started balling and Alec hugged him tightly as he cried against Alec's shoulder. "I love you too, Alexander! Ohmygod, I can hear you! This is amazing!"

Alec laughed as he brushed his hand against his own nose. Magnus turned his head in wonder as he heard the door opening from behind them. He turned to his father and Asmodeus patted him lightly on the shoulder.

"How's that, Son?"

"It's just...I don't have words, Father!"

Alec sat down next to him and shook his head jokingly. The audiologist was smiling sweetly. This job never got old.

"That's a change. Usually, I can't keep him quiet."

Magnus poked Alec in the side and bumped their heads together. Alec kissed his temple and turned away to yawn as Asmodeus spoke. "Right, it's been a long day.."

Magnus shook his head.

"No, no, no! I've just had my hearing back! I can't go to sleep now!"

Asmodeus glanced to the woman and she shrugged. "He's got a point!"

"Well, what do you want to do?" Magnus curled his hand in a 'C' and tapped it twice on his upper cheek, instinctively signing 'Cell phone' to Alec and making him grin when he got it.

"Can I use your phone to make a call?"

***

As Alec pushed Magnus outside and Asmodeus followed behind, he listened as Alec and Magnus giggled at each other. Magnus' mood was much better than it had been in a long time and Asmodeus shook his head every time that Alec stopped pushing and clapped with Magnus, both of them laughing every time that Magnus shouted out a new sound he could hear. By the time they had gotten outside and met with everyone else, Asmodeus was pushing the wheelchair and Alec was clutching his sides as him and Magnus cracked up laughing.

There was a small courtyard around the corner where everyone was sitting. The space was enclosed, round with a circle of benches. Max was sat on the pedestal in the middle, Honey in his arms. Magnus grinned. Everyone was there. Everyone.

Max set Honey down and her lead pulled as she bounded towards Magnus and Alec. Alec lifted her up and set her in Magnus' arms. He hugged her tightly and screwed up his face as she licked him.

"Ohmygod, she's grown so much!" Asmodeus pushed Magnus over and spoke quietly with Maryse and Robert. Clary rushed over and hugged Magnus before gesturing to Alec that he wasn't getting out of it. Alec hugged her quickly, making her laugh as his arms went around her neck and he rocked slightly. Izzy hugged Alec next with one hand, holding onto Simon's with the other.

Asmodeus whispered quietly to Maryse and Robert. "Those sons of ours…" he puffed out his cheeks and shook his head..

"Hey! I can hear you now!"

"Magnus, they look wonderful on you!"

"Thanks, Maryse! Alec helped me pick the colour!"

Alec put his arm over Magnus shoulders and kissed his head. “You’re beautiful, whatever colour.” There were several ‘aww’s’ from around them and a jab to Alec’s side from Jace.

Alec bounded over to talk to his parents. Clary reached for Magnus’ left hand as she spoke quietly. “How’s physio going?”

“Great. I walked today, biscuit. First time!”

Clary leaned down and hugged him gently from the side. “Jace said!! Izzy was a sniffling wreck, apparently.”

“I think everyone was. Tell your Mom thanks for the soup you brought me yesterday. It was really good. So tell me, what have I missed? We haven’t had a good catch up since I’ve been here and Alec doesn’t believe in gossip. Yawnn.”

 Clary turned Magnus in his chair slightly and sat down on the bench next to him. She glanced over to everyone who was chatting and making a fuss of Honey. Max had a bag of dog treats and Alec was telling him not to give her too many. “Hmm, let me think. You hear about Simon and Izzy?”

Magnus leaned forward and smiled with the old glint in his eyes. “Ooooh! Do tell, dear!” Clary glanced sideways and made a kissing motion. “No! When!?”

“Two weeks ago yesterday. I mean, the first time. Obviously, they have since-”

“Biscuit! We need to work on a way of getting my phone a better signal! This is important information! Carrier pigeon! Honey with a note tucked in her collar! I don’t care how we do it!”

Clary leaned forward and her shoulders shook with laughter.

***

Alec turned away from his parents and watched as Simon let go of Izzy’s hand. “Relax. Simon, stop looking like I’m going to stake you.” Simon smiled nervously and Izzy grabbed his hand again. “You better be treating her well, you hear me? Otherwise we’ll have a problem.”

Simon swallowed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Of course.”

“Simon, he’s teasing you.”

Alec’s face broke into a grin and they all turned their heads as Magnus and Clary cackled with laughter. “What’s so funny?”

Alec walked over to Magnus with Izzy and Simon following behind.

“Clary says that we’ve got competition. She thinks Simon and Izzy are cute but I said we’re cuter.”

“Oh, she does, does she?” Alec scooped Magnus up from the chair, tossing him in his arms and making Magnus shriek. Magnus put his right arm around the back of Alec’s neck and rubbed noses with him, making everyone else shout that they’d won and they didn’t need to kiss to prove a point.

Alec sat Magnus down on the bench and everyone spoke for a while. Magnus had his knees over Alec’s legs and Alec cringed against his neck when Maryse started telling the story of when they’d been to a family wedding and four year old Alec had refused to hand over his little bag with the rings inside. Alec was mortified and red in the face. Magnus was laughing so much that he was leaning back on the bench with his arms around himself and his head against Izzy’s side.

Asmodeus crossed his arms. “You think that’s funny-”

Magnus shot upright. “No, no, no! Father, don’t! I’m begging you!”

“Let me tell you-”

“Father!”

Alec pulled Magnus up and watched as he rubbed happy tears from his eyes.

Asmodeus spent the next few minutes weaving the tale of Magnus’ childhood holiday to Thailand. How he’d put a pack of peanuts in his back pocket and had scared himself silly when he’d realised that he had been followed back to the forest hotel by a baby elephant.

“Magnus!” Alec clapped.

“Thanks, Father! He’s not going to let that go now!” Magnus yawned.

Jace joined in with teasing him. “Ha! Magnus was scared by a baby elephant!”

“Oh, yeah?! You want to go there, ducky?”

Jace recoiled back into Clary and Asmodeus stood up. It was getting dark and crickets could already be heard around them. Several solar powered lights had come on at the top of the wall, casting everything in a warm, golden light. “Right, I think it’s time we all called it a night.”

Alec pulled Magnus closer to him and smushed their cheeks together. “Oh! Five more minutes!”

Maryse and Robert stood up as Maryse spoke. “Nope, come on. Alec, you can go back with Magnus just to say goodnight. The rest of you lot have school tomorrow so we’ll have to make a move.”

Clary’s phone buzzed and she showed the screen to Simon. “Luke’s here to pick us up anyway.”

Maryse gestured to Alec. “Okay. Right, Alec, say goodnight and the rest of us will wait here.” Asmodeus pushed Magnus’ chair over and Alec helped him to sit down.

After everyone said goodnight and Clary went off to find Luke, the rest of the Lightwoods and Asmodeus watched quietly as Alec and Magnus made their way back inside. They were speaking quietly and Alec leaned forward to whisper in Magnus’ ear. Both of them were radiating happiness as they giggled about something.

Jace turned to his mother and spoke quietly. Izzy hadn’t wanted to let Simon go yet and was walking slowly while she held onto his hand.

“Everyone’s really happy, Mom. Aren’t they? Everything’s going to be okay now, isn’t it?” Maryse hugged Jace quietly and wiped her eye. “Mom, don’t cry. We’re okay. Everyone’s okay.”

“I think it will be. Today was a good day, Jace. It’s just, I’m happy-” She sniffled. “-we witnessed some great things today. I can't wait to see what little surprises the future brings for us all.”

***

“Okay. Here we are.” Magnus yawned as they turned into the corridor where his room was. There were four nurses sitting behind the desk that was opposite Magnus’ door. They were laughing amongst themselves as the ward had gone dormant for the night and one of them alerted the others to Magnus and Alec approaching.

“Evening, boys! We were just having some cake that someone dropped in! You want some?!”

Alec held up a hand and declined but the nurses insisted that they’d been given a load and would wrap up some for him to take home. One of them handed Magnus a piece that was folded in a napkin and he took it gratefully as the nurses teased him and Alec. Magnus was used to them now and loved messing with them.

“We’re just saying goodnight, I promise! It’s been a long day!”

One of them shouted through the open door as Alec pushed him into his room. “Ten minutes, boys! Magnus needs his sleep! You can't stay up all night kissing!”

Magnus held up his hand, waving in dismissal and earning another round of giggling. They were more like friends than nurses to Magnus at this point.

“Okayy!”

There was giggling again. “Door open, boys!”

Alec and Magnus reached the bed and Alec stuck his head in the way of the door as he smirked. “You’re kidding, right?!”

Another one of them shouted and there was more laughter. “Got something to hide, Mr Lightwood?!”

Magnus nodded to Alec and lifted his hand as he shouted, wincing when he remembered that the ward was supposed to be kept quiet at that time. “You know us by now! We don't kiss and tell!”

Alec moved the chair closer and helped Magnus to sit back in his bed. He could get changed later but he was only wearing joggers and his hoodie so he was comfy enough for the time being. Alec lay down next to Magnus and kicked his shoes off for the hell of it. He put one arm over Magnus’ shoulder and the other linked with Magnus’ hand over his stomach.

Alec raised his eyebrows and let go of Magnus’ hand as he remembered something. He sat up for a second and reached to where Magnus had placed his chocolate cake on the table. Alec unwrapped it carefully and broke off a piece, putting it into Magnus’ mouth. Magnus ate the piece and listened as the nurses spoke amongst themselves outside. Finally, Alec pulled his paper from his back pocket and showed it to Magnus.

“I walked all the way here without stopping today.”

“Alexander, that’s amazing! There’s a pen on the table if you want to tick it off!” Alec got up for a second and lay back down. He folded over the paper and ticked next to the line that said ‘Walk to Magnus.’' Magnus’ paper was on the table and Alec grabbed it quickly, holding it up to Magnus and holding out the pen with a proud look on his face. Magnus grinned as he took it and made a rough ‘X’ next to the line that said ‘Walk with Alexander.’ He handed both the pen and the paper back to Alec and Alec set them down on the bedside table before lying back down.

Magnus glanced towards the door. He knew the nurses could see them but he could speak quietly enough now that they wouldn’t be able to hear him.

“Alexander. I need to tell you something. I know at this point that it’s like asking for the moon-”

Alec cut him off as he spoke in a low voice and turned to lie on his side. Magnus turned his head and looked up as Alec as brushed his cheek softly. “Magnus, if you want the moon, I will get it for you. You know that.”

Magnus licked his lips and nodded. He glanced towards the door for a second before meeting Alec’s eyes and whispering. “Alexander...I know this has been difficult for us both since I’ve been in here. Our weekend was amazing but it might be a while… before we have time alone together again and even when I’m out...I’m still going to have major problems with my arm and leg...and- and my balance-”

“Magnus...don’t worry about anything, okay? Those kinds of decisions involve both of us but absolutely everything is going to be at your speed. I know we’ve joked about that but I would never want any pressure on you. I love you, okay? All I care about is how you feel and you were patient while I was recovering. We’ve never been one for planning things so let’s just take each day as it comes, alright? We can learn everything together.”

Magnus smiled, feeling slightly more relaxed. “Sure. Besides... if I need to learn to hold myself in certain ways or... to use my arm properly...there’ll be a lot more time for this….” Magnus looked up and with huge eyes,  pressed his lips gently to Alec’s. Soft and hesitant at first and then more sure as his tongue slipped between his lips and was met with Alec’s. Alec moaned softly and breathed out. He clutched at Magnus’ face as their kissing became more desperate. Magnus lay back and Alec leaned over him slightly, vaguely hearing catcalls and clapping from the nurses behind the desk. When they could feel their self control slipping, they broke apart and Alec lifted his head. Magnus laughed as Alec brushed his bottom lip with his thumb.

“I think us waiting ... is going to be easier said than done…” Magnus agreed with a sparkle in his eyes.

Within a few minutes, Magnus was already falling asleep. Alec watched as Magnus leaned over to the bedside table and carefully took his hearing aids out, setting them in the case and placing it back again. Alec sat on the edge of the bed, pulling back the blanket so Magnus could get under it slowly. They stayed there for a moment, Alec brushing Magnus’ hair back and placing gentle kisses on his head, his cheek and his nose. Alec told Magnus again how proud he was of him and how he was the strongest person he knew but Magnus was far too gone to be able to hear him.

Alec knew he would have to leave in a minute but as Magnus’ eyes drifted shut and Alec sat there looking at his whole world, he thought that maybe he could allow himself to stay a moment longer. Like every day when he walked in on his own, he knew the time would come when he’d have to do the same with going out again. Despite that, everything Magnus had achieved that day was pointing him in the right direction. Alec would just have to be patient and wait for the day when he’d walk out again with Magnus by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


	30. Enclosed Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's pretty standard stuff, wherever you live. Apartments, houses, chalets; all made of bricks, sealed with a roof of tiles; but you'll find that it's the people around you that make your house a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! The great 3-0! Thanks to everyone reading. You guys have been awesome! Five more to go! <3
> 
> Song for chapter 30:[ North.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byHSQoemFvI&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=32&t=0s)

Water splashed over Izzy as she lay on her towel by the side of the pool. Because of both the sudden heatwave that had hit that week and that Clary had finally had her cast taken off, Robert had suggested that Simon and Clary come over so that everyone there could have a barbecue and they could fill up the pool in the back garden. Jace and Clary were taking turns to hold their breath under the water while Honey swam around excitedly with a ring in her mouth, barking at anyone who moved past her. Simon was pushing Max around the pool. Max was in armbands and laughing, trying to get Izzy to join them in the water.

“Come on, Iz. You’re being boring!”

Izzy glanced at Max and pushed her sunglasses back over her eyes. She admittedly hadn’t been feeling her best for the past few days but that was probably due to the stress of exams. They’d officially finished school for the summer and now that both the stress of exams were over and that Alec and Magnus were on the mend, she was sure that she would be feeling more like herself soon. “I’m quite happy sunbathing, thank you.”

Clary climbed out of the pool for a second and Izzy rolled her eyes as Jace (not so subtly) followed her with his gaze as she went to get a drink. Simon floated over to Izzy’s side of the pool and put his arms over the edge as he spoke quietly. He’d left his glasses on the side and he reached next to her, putting them on again, relieved to finally be able to see properly. “Hey, Iz. You alright?”

“I’m fine. I just don’t really feel like swimming.” Simon nodded and smiled shyly, looking to see where everyone else was. Max was being watched by Jace, and Clary who had joined them back in the water. Maryse and Robert were over on the lawn, starting to get food ready.

“We could go inside for a bit, if you want?”

Izzy nodded and sat up, watching as Simon got out of the pool and grabbed his towel from the side. His glasses had dots of water on them and as Izzy stood up, she brushed her thumb over the lenses. Simon took her hand quietly as they walked back into the house. Something had shifted in the past few weeks and all of the children were being treated more like grown ups. Maybe it was the end of an era or just a sign of growing up but no snide jokes or sideways glances were thrown at them as Izzy walked inside, Simon following behind her.

***

“How was the doctor's appointment?”

Alec sat by the side of the hospital pool. He’d brought a backpack but had stopped on the way to put it in Magnus’ room. In all other circumstances, a swim on a day like this would have been great but the hydrotherapy pool was heated and the room was like a rainforest. Magnus had told Alec to wear something cool but he’d never anticipated Alec turning up in shorts, a black tank top and flip flops.

“Good. He gave me the all clear. I can do what I like now, as long as I feel up to it. Of course, I’ll always have medication that I’ll need to take, like the one to stop my body rejecting my bone marrow, but it was nice to have a final sign off.”

Magnus moved towards the side of the pool. He had a pool noodle under his arms, to hold him up, but he let it float him gently to where Alec was crouching down. Magnus beamed and tilted his chin up expectantly, making Alec laugh as he slowly moved and laid down on his stomach, Alec shifted forward, pressing their lips together carefully so he could kiss Magnus and not end up falling in. He brushed Magnus’ cheek softly and said ‘hi’, making him blush.

“Alexander, that’s so amazing! Exactly what I wanted to hear! ” Magnus thought for a second and watched as Alec sat back. His front was damp where the water had touched the dark material. “Although, a better question would be: What are you wearing?!”

Alec pinched at the hem of his top, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hands. “What? You don’t like it?”

“I love it! I just didn’t expect it. That’s all.”

“Magnus! You’re supposed to be focusing on the last of your exercises, not kissing your boyfriend!” Magnus turned back to his hydrotherapist, remembering that he was actually supposed to be working. His hydrotherapist was a muscular guy, covered in tattoos. He was a lot nicer than the other physios and had been kind enough to let Alec sit in on one of the sessions. Still, Magnus knew he shouldn’t push it and went back to listening.

“Okay, lean back. It might feel strange but you’ve got the pool noodle under your arms and I’m right here so you’re perfectly safe. It might just feel a bit strange because you’re not used to being weightless.” Magnus nodded and leaned back slightly. He wanted to let go and grab something, even with the support holding him up. “That’s it. Now pick up your legs and try and stay on your back.”

Alec watched as Magnus made little splashes with his feet, thinking how much easier it was that his hearing aids were waterproof. He’d had a few physio sessions in the pool before getting them and it had been a right pain for him to listen to instructions. Alec kicked his flip flops off to the side and swished his feet in the water. It was warmer than he thought it would be, considering how hot the weather was.

“Okay, annnd relax. Take a breather for a moment. I’m going to help you to stand by the side of the pool so we can do the same as before, okay?” Magnus nodded as his physio helped him to remove his arms and grab the bar at the side of the pool. He knew he was safe but it was only a natural instinct to feel a bit uneasy. “Okay... so stand on your left leg and pick your right up. We’re going to do thirty second bursts, like before, okay? If you want to make it a bit more difficult, you can hold on with just your left hand but remember what I said last time. You haven’t been able to do it yet but you will when the time is right. Don’t push yourself to try it.” Magnus nodded again and watched as Alec walked over to sit in front of him. He panicked for a second when he let go with his right hand but found himself relaxing quickly. Hodge smiled and shook his head as Magnus linked the fingers of his right hand with Alec’s, Alec offering a different kind of support that quickly gave Magnus confidence; something sweet and caring enough that he was able to focus and keep himself held up for longer. It was as if Alec being there not only offered emotional support but something physical in the gentle encouragement that he offered, making Magnus stronger.

“There we go. We’re done for today.” The physio chuckled as he shook his head. He lifted his hand from the water and shook it slightly before offering it out to shake Alec’s hand. “I’m Hodge. I don’t think we’ve officially met...although I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Alec smiled shyly and watched as Magnus tried to hide his blushing. “Alec. Yes, I had leukaemia. I met Magnus when I was having chemo and I’ve never looked back really.” Hodge nodded sadly but didn’t say any more. Magnus still wasn’t walking completely unassisted but had been given a crutch to use in his left hand.

As Hodge helped Magnus out of the pool slowly, Alec handed it to him and kissed softly him on the cheek. Magnus grinned as he rubbed his nose against Alec’s, exhausted but happy that they would have the rest of the day to themselves. Still with droplets of water on his face, Magnus adjusted his hearing aid on his left ear and gestured to Hodge. “Thank you. I know my father is meeting with my doctor later and he’ll be pleased to hear that the exercises are working. I feel much better on my feet.”

“That’s good. If you want to hit the shower, you know where it is... Are you sure you don’t want me to get a wheelchair?”

“No. Thank you. I’ll see you around.”

Both Alec and Magnus waved to Hodge and he walked off slowly. Alec grumbled softly, taking Magnus’ free hand as they walked around the pool. “Your hand looks heavy...let me hold it for you.”

Magnus smiled and kissed Alec’s cheek. “Smooth.” He felt as his hand was squeezed in both of Alec’s, supporting him as they walked slowly.

“That guy is nice.”

Magnus hesitated. “He is....” Magnus bit his lip and looked down.

“Magnus? What is it?”

Magnus glanced across the pool. Hodge was long gone. “...His daughter had leukaemia. His little girl, Alexander. He mentioned it once...she was two.”

“Oh... I didn’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Magnus looked up at him. There was a pool float on the floor and Alec let go of Magnus’ hand for a second, putting it to the side and linking their hands again. “Nonsense. You didn’t know, like you said.”

Alec took a shaky breath. “Did she…” Magnus looked down sadly and shook his head. “Fucking cancer, man.”

Magnus nodded. “My thoughts exactly.”

***

Clary cackled and shook her head as Jace polished off his second burger. Max dropped a piece to the floor and laughed as Honey ate it quickly. “Jace, honestly! How are you still going?”

Jace laughed as he picked up a french fry. Simon was a vegetarian and was complimenting Maryse on the bean burgers she had made. “I dunno. Since I started taking Alec to the gym with me, we’ve been getting a bit competitive. Works up an appetite, I suppose. I don’t know why but freaking out about exams also worked up our appetites for a while so I’m getting my reserves back. Right, Iz?”

Izzy picked reluctantly at the bread roll on her plate. She hadn’t eaten much. “I guess. Although you didn’t study as much as I did.”

“-I didn’t need to. Dad’s friend was kind enough to offer me that job in the bike shop so it didn’t mat-”

Izzy slammed her hand down on the table. “Well you should still try! You might be okay wasting your life in some bike shop but it doesn’t mean you have to be such an ass about it!” Everyone went silent as Izzy shouted.

Robert rubbed his eyebrow. He was used to sorting squabbles with the kids but Izzy never usually shouted like that. “Isabelle... Apologise to your brother.”

Izzy muttered apologies as she scraped her chair back and ran for the house, wiping her eyes. Something was bothering her but no one had been able to figure out what. Simon got up to follow her but Maryse held out her hand. “I’ll go. Finish your food, everyone.”

Maryse ran after Izzy and was gone for what seemed like forever. When she returned, Maryse looked slightly more relieved. She told them that Izzy was sorry for how she acted and she was just feeling under the weather. Robert had brought out a tub of ice cream and asked her if Izzy wanted to join them. Maryse said that she wanted to stay inside for a bit and Simon offered to take her some. Maybe all this was just over nothing but if Izzy was going through anything, he felt it was his duty as a boyfriend to make sure that she had ice cream for herself and a shoulder to lean on if she needed it.

***

Magnus leaned against the changing room wall. It was only a short distance from the pool to the showers and another short distance back to the ward but his arm was aching and he could practically hear Alec’s ‘I told you so’ about refusing to ask for a wheelchair.

“I’m fine. Just give me a second.”

Alec lifted his head and looked across the room. “Is it that door? Over there?”

“...Yes. See? It’s not far. I just need-”

“Pass your crutch to me a second.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow and pulled his arm out, handing it to Alec and watching as he, himself, leaned against the wall. “I need that to walk, Alexander.”

Alec leaned the crutch against the wall and lifted Magnus’ left arm so it was over his shoulder. “There. That’s what supportive boyfriends are for.” Magnus smiled and with Alec’s help, he managed to slowly walk over to the shower room. It was designed with patients in mind so had a lot of clinical looking equipment in it. Lucky for Magnus, it also had a rail in the shower so he could stand for longer than in the shower that was on the ward. Alec helped Magnus to the chair that was in the room and stood with his hands on his waist. Magnus grinned and smirked, not very innocently, at Alec, confusing him a little. “What? NO!- No!” He laughed. “Even being in here is freaking me out. Don’t even- I am not-” Magnus pouted with a smile as Alec chuckled. “No! I’m waiting outside for you. Don’t even try it!” Alec shook his head as he went out. The offer had actually nearly tempted him, not that he would tell Magnus. It had been a long month.

Alec sat on the bench outside and listened as the sound of water started up. Hairs raised on his arms and he counted the minutes in his head.

There was the noise of a bottle being knocked over and Alec tilted his head. The sound of the water sounded different and he shot up, knocking on the door. “Magnus? Are you okay in there?”

Alec held his breath and listened as Magnus answered. “Alexander? Are you there?”

“I’m here, baby. What’s wrong?” There was another pause and Alec swallowed.

“I’m fine. I just slipped.”

“You need me to call someone?”

“No- I- I don’t want you to. I’m- in the shower.”

“Well you can’t just- You want me to help you up?”

“I suppose that’s my best opt- No, I can’t get up. You’ll have to-”

“Okay, I’m coming in.”

Magnus blinked up from the shower floor, holding his head out of the way of the flowing water. He reached for the shower curtain and pulled it slightly aside. He hadn’t fallen badly and hadn’t wanted to worry Alec but he did need some help. Alec pushed the door open and walked in slowly. He had one hand over his eyes and was using the other to find his way around, making Magnus laugh. “What the actual fuck are you doing?”

“What? I’m trying to help you up. Where are you?”

“On the floor! Where else would I be? And why are you hiding your eyes? You do realise that you’ve seen me naked before, right?”

Alec giggled as he reached Magnus, offering out his free hand. “Yes, I know that. Magnus but...we haven’t slept together in a month. Trust me, if I see you naked, we are going to have a big problem on our hands.”

Magnus snorted as Alec reached through the water to turn the shower off. He watched the water stop and laughed at Alec’s soaked head as he tried to keep his composure. “Big problem on our- someone speaks very highly of himself!”

There was more than a little laughing as Alec helped Magnus to stand up, helping to guide him across the room so he could sit down on the chair. Magnus grabbed his towel from the side and rubbed his face, less than a little willing to hurry up and get his clothes back on. Alec felt down his own front. He looked ridiculous as water ran off him but he continued to keep his eyes closed. “Great! Now you’ve got me all wet-” Magnus snorted into his hand. “Don’t you dare!”

“Will you just open your-”

“Nope! Not happening.”

“Fine. You’ll have to help me get dressed though.”

“You can get dressed just fine. I know you can.”

Magnus took advantage of Alec not being able to see and pouted. He tilted his chin down and grinned as he thought for a moment. “I’m really tired. Pleeaasse. I’ve still got to get back to my room and I’m exhausted.”

“Fine. Where’s your clothes? Ohmygod, the things I do for you.”

Magnus picked up the pile that was next to him. He handed Alec his boxers with a cheeky smile and watched Alec’s face change as he rolled his eyes behind his eyelids. Magnus grabbed Alec’s free hand. “Right, hold there while I unfold my stuff.”

Alec bit his lip and Magnus watched as Alec’s cheeks went red. “Umm, Magnus? ...Is that your leg?”

Magnus grinned happily as he shook his shorts out. “Mmm...Does that feel like my leg?”

Alec gasped and pulled his hand away, turning around to face the wall and not think of either Magnus’ lack of clothes or enthusiasm. After a few minutes, Magnus finished up and was drying his hair as he told Alec he could turn round. Alec peeped from behind his eyes and his face lit up with a wide grin. In a few strides, he walked across the room and hugged Magnus, rocking them both and making him laugh. Alec slowly and gently pressed his lips against Magnus’ forehead and they stood in silence for a moment. Magnus slid his right arm around Alec’s waist and Alec lifted Magnus’ left  one to wrap it around his other side. Finally, Alec met Magnus’ eyes and sighed softly. “I can’t wait to get you home.” Alec pressed his lips against Magnus’ for a second and broke away as Magnus nodded sadly.

“I can’t wait to come home, Alexander. ...I love you”

“I love you too. Are you ready to go back? I think your crutch is still outside-” Magnus sighed. He obviously didn’t like using it but Alec could see how tired he was. “-hang on a second. I’ve got a better idea.”

***

After everything had been packed up, Clary and Jace made their way back into the house. They’d all changed out of their swimming costumes before dinner but the air was still warm. Jace was telling Clary about how he hoped they could go to the beach sometime. Clary replied, telling him about the ice cream stand that her and Simon always went to and how they should all go out for the day once Magnus was better. They reached the patio doors and Jace absentmindedly offered his hand for Clary to go over the step. She smiled sweetly but was looking across the living room. There was a movie on the TV and both Simon and Izzy were on the couch. Izzy was sleeping soundly with her arms around Simon’s neck, leaning into his shoulder. Honey was next to them and insistently nudging Izzy’s side for her attention but she was far too out of it to notice.

“Is she okay?”

Simon nodded at Clary as her and Jace walked around the couch. “She’s great. Just tired, I guess. It’s been a crazy few weeks.”

Jace kicked the large footstool across and both him and Clary sat down as Jace spoke. “I guess I never thought about how everything has affected her. She’s had to go through a lot, you know?”

Clary nodded and reached both a hand both to Jace and one to Simon as she sat forward. Jace and Simon looked at each other with startled faces, making Clary roll her eyes.  “I’m not saying you two hold hands! It’s just- we’ve all been through so much and like Simon said, everything is going to change this next school year. Let’s just make sure that we’re all there for each other, okay? No matter what.”

***

“Alexander, people are staring at us.”

Alec stopped walking and jumped once, adjusting Magnus on his shoulders. “I’ve literally got your crutch in my hand. I can guarantee you that if people are staring, Magnus, it’s because you keep kissing my neck as I’m trying to carry you.”

Magnus grinned and buried his face against Alec’s shoulder. “Sorry? Was that a complaint? Because I can walk if you can’t cope, you know?”

Alec stopped for a second, tapping Magnus’ arm so he didn’t cling to him so tightly. Magnus’ moved his arms from around Alec’s neck so that he was hugging Alec’s middle. Alec didn’t mind Magnus hanging onto him like a koala but between Magnus clutching him close and breathing on his face, he needed all the oxygen he could get. Alec shivered and carried on walking as he felt Magnus brush his top lip against his ear. “No, no. I can put up with it.”

They walked for several more minutes and Alec stopped again, shaking his head.

“That’s it! I’m walking because you’re obviously too tired!”

Alec laughed quietly, getting a better hold on Magnus. “Magnus! Your fingertips are dipping into my waistband and people are very obviously staring now. Can you keep your hands to yourself for two seconds?”

Magnus gulped. He hadn’t realised what he’d been doing and only then noticed that Alec’s body temperature had gone up a few degrees. He’d presumed it was purely from the exhaustion of giving his boyfriend a piggyback but Magnus hadn’t stopped to think about how his harmless teasing had probably been driving Alec  mad. Magnus moved his hands up and held on the best he could. He’d actually been clutching at Alec’s clothes slightly and it took a moment for Alec to catch his breath and continue back to the ward.

“You’re lucky I’m fit enough to do this now.”

Magnus nestled into Alec’s neck, taking the scent of him in as he distracted himself. “Huh?”

“You’re lucky that I can carry you. Quit sniffing me!” Magnus bumped his head against Alec’s with his eyes closed. He was so happy right there that he could have frozen that moment and stayed in it forever. That was kind of the beauty of everything though. Moments were fleeting and that’s what made him appreciate them.

“Alexandeeeer?”

Alec passed Magnus crutch to his other hand. “Yeeess?”

“Do you know what would be absolutely perfect right about now?” Alec looked up and took a deep breath.

“What?”

“Being naked with you again.”

Alec nearly dropped Magnus and they giggled as a few people looked  at them from down the corridor and whispered quietly. Alec carried on but knew he couldn’t do anything to disguise the crimson streaked over his cheeks. They weren’t far now and his arms were burning but it wouldn’t be long until they got there. He just had to keep his mind clear. “Magnus, behave yourself. That’s not helping my current state.”

“I actually didn’t mean it in that way... I mean, obviously that but I was just thinking that I’ve missed being that close to you.” Alec moved sideways and very carefully, managed to get them both through the double doors. “You can set me down now, right?”

“Oh, right.” Alec helped Magnus to slide off his back and shook out his own hands before handing Magnus his crutch. Magnus made a startled sound as Alec scooped him up, carrying him bridal style to the end of the corridor. Magnus whispered softly with his arms around Alec’s neck, looking to see if anyone else was around.

“You don’t have to carry me.”

Alec spoke quietly as Magnus swayed in his arms and they reached his room. “Yeah, well, you carried me once... when I was sick.”

Magnus leaned into Alec’s shoulder for a second and Alec lowered him to sit on the bed, moving away to go back and shut the door after them. Magnus kicked his shoes off to the side. “I can’t wait to be home and back in my own bed, you know? It might be a while before I can sleep at yours though. Father is going back to work soon so if they let me out within the next few weeks, he might have to ask Lily to help out. She’s like a big sister-” Alec blinked at Magnus and he stopped talking. “What…?”

“Magnus? What are you talking about!? I’m going to look after you!”

“I know you are, Alexander, but you have to take care of yourself too! I know you would in a heartbeat but at the moment, I need you as my boyfriend, not as my carer. She practically lived at mine when she was going through her divorce and doesn’t mind helping out with cooking or cleaning. You can give me snuggles and watch movies with me, deal?”

Alec pouted and looked at the door before sitting down next to Magnus. He put his hand against Magnus’ cheek and Magnus put his right hand over the top. “Deal. Magnus… I have an idea.”

Magnus opened his eyes and kissed Alec’s palm. “Go on…”

“What you said earlier...about being close-”

“-Alexander, I want that more than anything but I can’t and we both know that. Also, we absolutely cannot undress each other in a hospital room-”

“No, no. I know that. I just thought about when we fell asleep before. It’s really hot today anyway so no one would take notice but-” Alec shook his head. “No...it’s stupid.”

“It’s not! Tell me.”

“Do you wanna just lie together for a while...without our shirts on? I get what you meant and I… I just want to hold you close to me again.”

Magnus pouted and smiled as he nodded. He fisted his hand in Alec’s shirt and brought their lips together gently as they smiled. Things had mellowed between them lately and they both knew for their own sanity that they couldn’t let themselves get carried away. Instead, they kissed softly for a moment, Alec’s hands on Magnus face as they both sighed. Magnus managed to use both of his hands, as they slipped down to hold Alec’s waist. They laughed against each other’s mouths as Magnus tried to pull it up and over Alec’s head in a few rough motions, his shirt getting stuck half way and making them both laugh like school children. It wasn’t hot or sexy by any means but it was real and sincere and Alec’s heart could have burst with love as Magnus eyes dropped and he smiled shyly, his face going slightly pink as he whispered and tried not to laugh. “Beautiful…. I don’t remember your chest looking so hairy though.”

Alec’s eyes creased as he tilted his head. Magnus chuckled quietly and kissed his cheek. “Yes, the effects of my chemo have been wearing off. Come on. Your turn.” Magnus put his arms around Alec’s neck, his left taking slightly longer to respond. He crossed them over one another and moaned quietly as both of their lips parted and their tongues brushed together. He felt as Alec’s hands ran down his front, taking an agonisingly long time as he felt each button of his shirt beng undone. It had taken him so long to get them done up but he didn’t care. Alec slipped Magnus shirt off his shoulders and helped him pull his arm out. Alec placed it gently at the bottom of the bed and ran his hands over Magnus chest, taking in every mark, groove or dimple. Mapping out every inch that he could as if at an art show just for him. Something beautiful and rare, only for his eyes, as if it was his duty to take everything in incase it could be taken away again.

“You wanna lie down?” Magnus nodded, finally letting the exhaustion of his long day take over him. Alec walked around the other side of the bed and laid down next to him. Magnus moved so he was laying on his left side and put his right leg over Alec’s, holding him tightly. Alec put his arm around Magnus shoulder and pulled him closer as they became one being. A little bruised and broken but still beautiful and whole as they fit together, each knowing exactly where they belonged.

Alec breathed softly against Magnus’ temple, closing his eyes. “I could never have believed... even six months ago...that I could end up this happy.”

Magnus lifted his head to look at him, holding his right hand against Alec’s left cheek. “You mean that? After everything that you’ve had to go through?”

Alec licked his lips. “Of course. I wouldn’t say it if i didn’t mean it. I mean, it hasn’t been easy but I found my soulmate along the way. I think that has to count for something. It wasn’t a journey that I was planning on making... and neither of us might ever get off this train completely... but if I’m going to travel anywhere, I can’t think of anyone else in my wildest dreams who I would rather take with me.”

***

The sun had gone down completely by the time Maryse had walked around the couch and found Simon running his fingers through the velvet strands of Izzy’s hair. The TV was flickering quietly in the dark room and the only other sound in the house was the delicate notes of Jace playing the piano up in his room. Clary had gone home earlier but Simon had wanted to wait until Izzy had woken up. Maryse whispered and placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder from behind. Isabelle had her head in his lap and was curled up. Honey was bundled within her hold, snoozing softly with her chin protectively over Izzy’s side. Simon’s free hand was brushing over Honey’s ears.

“She’s still sleeping?”

Simon looked up, taking his hand from Izzy’s hair as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “Yes. We were speaking on the phone last night and she told me she hasn’t been sleeping well. I don’t live far but I can walk home, it’s okay. I didn’t want to move and risk waking her up and Honey might bark if I do. She hasn’t left her side all day.”

Maryse sat down on the arm of the other couch. “I don’t want you walking home in the dark, sweetheart. You can stay on the couch if you want and I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow… I’m sorry you can’t stay in Izzy’s room but we have rules, you know? Alec might come in late because he usually has to be dragged away from Magnus for the night but I’ll send him a text, asking not to turn the lights on when he comes in.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Of course.”

Maryse stood up and rubbed her eyes. The sound of piano music had stopped so Jace was probably on the phone or his laptop, saying goodnight to Clary (again). Max was well asleep by now, as Simon should have been. 

“Tomorrow is Saturday, anyway, so she’ll be able to lie in if she’s still not feeling great. I’ll go with her upstairs in a minute. Let me just get that pillow and blanket.” Maryse walked around the back of the couch and pulled Honey out from Izzy’s middle. She struggled and made a fuss but Maryse made soothing sounds to settle her as she took Honey to the kitchen  Simon lifted Izzy’s head gently and moved to stand up. When he looked up again, Maryse had gone upstairs to the cupboard on the landing.

Simon glanced to the door for a second and slid an arm behind Izzy’s head. He put the other under her knees and whispered quietly as he lifted her. “Heeey. Come on, lollipop. Let’s get you up to bed.” Izzy murmured softly, her hands around Simon’s neck. He carried her through the living room and slowly made his way up. It was better than disturbing her and she wasn’t heavy.

When he had reached the top of the stairs, Izzy made a noise again, more insistent that he listened. Simon stopped walking and Izzy struggled in his arms. “Put me down.”

“Iz, it’s fine. We’re nearly at your room.”

“NO! No, Simon put me down. I feel sick!”

Simon set Izzy down gently and his heart raced as she ran into the bathroom. She didn’t close the door and Simon walked in after her, holding her hair back as she leaned over the toilet. “Hey, hey. I’m here, Izzy... Okay, I definitely think you have a stomach bug.”

Izzy shook her head, clutching her stomach as she heaved. “You think?! I’m not going to a hospital!” Simon shook his head sadly. Poor thing. Izzy had seen enough of hospitals and it was a shame that that had been her first thought. Maybe she did need more help than she had been letting on? They’d all been through a lot, like Clary had said, but siblings often get forgotten about, if not through the process of their brother or sister’s treatment then definitely after.

“You’re not going to the hospital, okay? You don’t need to worry one bit-” Simon looked up as Maryse walked past the door and did a double take at Simon holding Izzy’s hair back.

“Oh, Isabelle.”

“She’s okay. I’ve got her, Mrs. L.”

Izzy sat back on her knees and Maryse dampened a cloth in the sink, passing it to her. She gestured for Simon to swap positions with her and he sat on the edge of the bath as Maryse leaned down in front of her. Maryse grabbed a scrunchie from the side and tied Izzy’s hair back, kissing her forehead. “I told you and Jace that that food van looked dodgy. You’ve gotta listen to your old Mama.”

Izzy wiped her mouth and sniffled against Maryse’s shoulder. “I only had a hotdog.”

Maryse winced with her eyes closed. “Fantastic. That means Jace is going to get it too. It probably hasn’t hit him yet because you’re smaller than he is. At least we know what the matter is now...” They all looked up as Jace walked past the door. He had a slice of pizza for some reason and was in his pyjamas.

“What’s up, guys? I heard my name.”

Simon glanced up at Maryse, as she helped Izzy to stand shakily and spoke to her son. “Jace? When you guys went to that hotdog stand the other day, how many did you eat?”

Jace raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. “Three, I think. Why?”

***

“Magnus, it’s getting dark. I’m gonna have to go in a minute.”

Magnus shook his head against Alec’s shoulder, tightening his grip between Alec’s fingers. “No. I don’t want you to go.”

“Magnus, we’ve been over this. I promise that when you’re better, you can wake up with me every day for the rest of our lives but I have to go.”

“Nooo.”

“Maaagnuus-”

“No!”

“What are you going to do? Hold me captive? Go on, convince me somehow that it’s in my best interest to spend the night with you and face the wrath of my parents-”

In one motion, Magnus swung his right leg over Alec, moving so he was lying completely on top of him. Alec’s eyes widened. Magnus’ had a wild look in his eyes; a fire in them that Alec hadn’t seen in a long time. Alec spoke in a deep and rough voice. The voice that was quiet and reserved; only for Magnus.

“...Convince me.”

Alec felt as Magnus brushed his fingers down his left cheek. Alec had expected something different but this was a whole other way of Magnus expressing his love. He watched as Magnus traced the edge of his lips, making Alec kiss his thumb. He traced every line of Alec’s face. The short stubble across his jaw; ran his hands through Alec’s hair and combed it back; Traced between Alec’s eyes and kissed his forehead. “Magnus-”

“Shh.”

Each touch was like fire and ice all at once. Alec felt his cheeks burning from the tender look on Magnus’ face, as he looked everywhere but Alec’s eyes. His hand moved down and his left joined it, both of them on opposite sides of Alec’s neck. Alec shivered under Magnus’ feather light embraces and gasped softly as Magnus’ hands went over his shoulders and slid down the front of his chest. “Magnus- kiss me.”

Magnus ignored him, trailing his hands over Alec’s flanks; looking down with sparkling eyes, taking in everything that he could. Alec shifted slightly, trying to ignore the weight that was pressed over his lap as he pleaded.

“Please- I’m so sick of this. I want you home, Magnus. I want to wake up with you and kiss you whenever and wherever you want and- and sleep naked with you again-”

Magnus leaned forward and touched his lips to Alec’s, still agonisingly chaste. Alec’s bottom lip was between both of Magnus’ and his heart was racing at a thousand miles an hour. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Magnus so badly. But Magnus felt that he couldn’t give Alec that at that moment, physically or emotionally, besides the fact that they were in a hospital room, so Alec would just have to give Magnus his all here. In this moment. And hope that it would be enough. That HE could be enough.

Alec rolled them over as gently as he could. He was terrified of hitting Magnus’ head. He slid his hands to cup Magnus’ face, taking in every sensation as Magnus’ hands slid over Alec’s waist and down his back. Alec tilted Magnus’ chin up, parting his lips. Magnus made a noise in his throat, soft but surprised, that made Alec smile against his mouth. He roughly pressed his hands into Alec’s back, both of them giggling as Alec nearly fell on top of him. Magnus’ hands ran upwards, urging Alec’ for more as shivers went down his spine and Alec’s soft tongue moved against his own. Magnus murmured. This was dangerous, but being dangerous also meant it was forbidden and Magnus had never been one to hold back when he was told he couldn’t have something.

Magnus pushed Alec off to the side and his heart broke at Alec’s expression. If Alec thought for even a second that Magnus was pushing him away, he was wrong. Alec gasped and looked towards the door as Magnus pushed Alec’s knees apart and threw himself over his middle. “Magnus-”

“Shhh. I don’t want logic right now. I just want you.”

Alec nodded and grabbed the back of Magnus’ head, tilting Magnus’ face up as his own head moved on and off the pillows. The pull was mesmerising. Like oxygen that only Magnus could give him. Their kissing increased in speed, their mouths and tongues making little noises as they danced off each other, Alec’s legs crossed over Magnus’ back as Magnus leaned over Alec, his left arm bent on the pillow and his right arm straight and holding him up. They broke apart and Alec groaned and bit his lip, Magnus planting kisses and lapping at the sensitive spot where Alec’s pulse was hammering. It felt so good. Too good for Alec to try and stop it. It was only when Magnus lowered himself and grinded his hips against Alec’s and he felt himself going hard that some sense came crashing over him, like an unwanted rain storm, and he knew that he would have to put a stop to it.

“Magnus-”

Magnus moaned back. “A- Alexander…”

“No. Magnus, that’s enough.” Magnus sat back on Alec’s waist. Alec could see the hurt in his eyes. “Magnus, I want this but you are not well. We were sensible when I was recovering and I’m going to make sure the same happens for you-” Alec put his hand against Magnus’ face. “I love you so much, okay? But that means I’m saying no until we both agree. We are in a hospital room and even if we weren’t, you could hurt yourself somehow and I’m not willing to be the cause of that.” Magnus nodded sadly and Alec sat up, helping him to lie down. “You need to sleep, okay? We can spend all day together tomorrow but you need rest and you need to heal so you can come home with me.”

Magnus’ lip wobbled and Alec brushed each of his cheeks quickly, stopping the tears before they could fall. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be sorry for, okay? No crying-” Alec lifted Magnus’ head gently and kissed his forehead. “-I love you too damn much to see you cry.”

Magnus’ voice shook as he sighed. Alec moved back onto his own side and laid down, Magnus turning to put his leg over him like he had before. “Stay with me, Alec. Please. Stay with me.”

Alec nodded, leaning into Magnus. “I’m not going anywhere.”    

***   

Simon opened his eyes as bright sunlight shone into the room. He stretched for a second, or as much as he could on the couch, and opened his eyes properly. Izzy had come down in the night for a glass of water and had just crashed on top of him, falling asleep under the blanket that Maryse had brought down. Simon licked his lips and ran his hand down the back of her head. Izzy was wrapped around him with her left cheek pressed against his chest, still looking pale.

“Hey, Iz.” Izzy blinked up at him, realising why she wasn’t in her own bed. Simon stared back at her. He’d never seen Izzy without makeup on before. He didn’t know if it was because she apparently had food poisoning of some kind or, if it was that she was curled up in his arms, but there was something about her that looked so young and vulnerable in her plaid pyjama bottoms and grey cami. Simon tilted his head, silently putting his hand against Izzy’s to feel her temperature. He thought to himself quietly. He’d never seen anyone so beautiful. Guys like him didn’t find girls like this. They lay awake at night dreaming about girls like this. Izzy stretched, turning over and putting her arms around Simon’s neck before closing her eyes again. Simon worried that someone would come downstairs but what he didn’t know was that Maryse had heard Izzy getting up and had come downstairs a while later when she hadn’t heard her daughter come back upstairs. When Izzy had crawled on top of him and fallen asleep, his blanket had actually been on the floor. Maryse had picked it up and placed it over them both before going back upstairs.

Simon sighed out, hugging Izzy as she whispered quietly. “Thank you for looking after me.”          

Simon nodded and kissed her head. “Of course. I’ll have you know… I’m very protective of my family.”

***

Alec smiled at the warmth against his side. Magnus’ arm was over his chest and their faces were pressed together. A bundle of arms and legs in the dark room. Alec’s eyes opened slightly and then opened wider in the morning light. He could feel what a mess his hair was and that his lips were still kiss swollen. Maybe things hadn’t been as calm as they had thought they would be but they were still both in pyjama bottoms so anything was a plus at that point. Alec swallowed and his eyes flickered as he spoke groggily. His mother would probably have freaked out that he hadn’t come home last night.

“Hey. Magnus. I should get back home.”

Magnus shook his head, kissing Alec’s collarbone. “You are home. I don’t want you to leave, Alec. I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

“Me either, Magnus but-”

Alec blinked through the room. The shadows were casting hazy light and he was still half asleep but there was a woman with dark hair sitting in the chair at the end of the bed. Maybe it was Asmodeus’ friend but Alec was sure that wasn’t how Magnus had described her.

“Alexander, what is it?”

“Nothing. I just thought I saw-”

The door handle to the room was pressed down and Magnus pulled his arm from over Alec. Even though they were both still half asleep, they were awake enough to blush when the two figures walked in. Magnus sat up, trying to look like he hadn’t been caught half clothed and snuggled up to his boyfriend. Alec blinked back to the chair, wondering what was going on in his head.

“Ugh... hey, LILY! What are you doing here?!”

Lily laughed as she walked over, hugging Magnus tightly and turning his chin to see what a good job the surgeons had done of closing up the wound on his head. “Oh, Nellie. What the hell have you two been up to?” Lily grinned. “...I walked past the window last night and the two of you were having a right good snog. Proper going at it, you were-”

Magnus put his hand over his face, absolutely mortified. “THANK YOU, LILY!” Lily tilted her head at him. He gestured his head sideways and bit his top lip in mock anger. “This is Alec… by the way.”

“Oooh, the boyyyfriend!” Lily held her hand out. “Nice to see Magnus has better taste than I do when it comes to men.” Alec blushed furiously as Magnus laughed. “We popped in and out a few times-” She poked Magnus’ cheek and he batted her hand away as he grinned. “-But you and your beau looked so comfy that we didn’t want to disturb you. Your Dad has something to tell you, by the way.” Magnus glanced behind Lily to his father. He’d been standing there quietly with Magnus’ other holdall.

“Father? Are they moving me again? Where am I going?”

***

The sun was blaring as Alec stepped out of the hospital doors. There were a few people around the entrance. An elderly couple on the bench. Two women pushing a pram between them. Alec yawned as he held his bag strap in his right hand, swinging his left slightly as he looked to the side and felt the squeeze between his fingers. Alec grinned and Magnus grinned back. Asmodeus had gone ahead to get the car.

For so long, Alec had dreamed of the moment that he would be stepping out with Magnus by his side and that moment had finally come. As the sun shone down on them, Magnus moved his head to watch a blue butterfly that drifted past the doors in front of them.

“Are you ready?”

Magnus nodded, his feet hovering over the edge of the door frame. One more step.

He moved his crutch forward and followed with his right leg, smiling up at Alec and crossing the barrier. Physically and metaphorically, he was leaving everything behind. “This- this is it?”

Alec laughed, kissing Magnus’ temple. “Here’s to the rest of forever.”

Magnus shook his head. “I just- I can’t believe this is really happening-”

Alec looked up and watched as the white car pulled up to the curb. “It is. Come on, Magnus... You’re going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! <3


	31. The Lovers, The Dreamers and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love comes in many different forms. Even if people need different things at different times, in the end, all anyone just needs is love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had to include some warnings for this chapter but take them with a pinch of salt. You guys should probably know by now that I can be a bit misleading at times 😅❤ Hope you enjoy <3
> 
> I'd love to hear what you guys think of this chapter so please feel free to either drop a comment or tweet along, using the hashtag #FlutterFic. I also have to thank[ @kennedy15769680](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxhdywWbtEk) for all her help with this chapter. She's an amazing writer and friend who I could not have gotten through this chapter, emotionally or physically, without <33
> 
> TW// for chapter: Mentions of teenage pregnancy/ conversation about termination of pregnancy.
> 
> Song for chapter 31:[ Rainbow Connection.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxhdywWbtEk&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=33&t=0s)

 

“Max, stop pouting and finish your peas.”

Max scowled at his father, sarcastically shoving two forkfuls into his mouth at once. “There. Happy now?”

Robert rolled his eyes. His children had either been arguing with each other or with him and Maryse all day and it was starting to wear on his patience.  “Max, stop being cheeky. The dog has been here all week and she’s not just Alec’s, she’s also Magnus’. She’ll be there for a few days and you can even come with me to pick Alec up tomorrow morning if you want to see her quickly.”

“Izzy’s not eating her food. And she got ice cream before tea.”

“Izzy has a stomach bug. You’re just grumpy because you want your room back.” Robert looked across the table, pointing his knife at his daughter. “Izzy, you have to at least drink something. The doctor said food poisoning, or whatever this bug is, can take a while to get over and that drinking plenty and getting rest is the best course of action.” Izzy scowled at her father as she pushed her food around her plate. Jace leaned over her to grab the ketchup bottle and recoiled in a joking manner as if she was going to hit him. He was kind of loving the fact that he had been lucky and hadn’t come down with whatever Izzy had. She had been in a horrible mood over it for the past week but insisted she was actually feeling better.

“Oh, Jace, just leave me alone already!” Jace sat back down, squeezing the bottle onto the side of his plate. He leaned over her again, setting it back and hugging Isabelle in a brotherly way with his arm around her neck. “And why do you smell like toothpaste? Are you seeing Clary later? Because obsessive brushing in hopes of kissing is bad for your teeth and your-”

Izzy was interrupted as Alec walked into the room and Maryse shot up to rush over to him. Alec set his bag down quietly, trying not to grin at the fact that he was about to stay over Magnus’ for the first time in a week. Izzy looked down, hitting her fork against her potatoes.

“Oh! Look at my baby boy!” Alec rolled his eyes, leaning down to hug Maryse, pulling his head away as she squished his face. Izzy knew that Alec probably wanted to get going. “Remember to pack your boxers?” Alec rolled his eyes again and nodded in annoyance as Jace turned in his chair, speaking like the military commander from one of his movies.

“Where he’s going- he aint gonna need ‘em.”

Alec’s face went red and he scowled at Jace, not meeting eyes with his mother. “Thank you, Jace!” Izzy pushed her plate back as Maryse cooed over him. She’d stayed over Clary’s a few weeks back and her mom hadn’t made that much fuss over her.

“Mom, Alec probably wants to get going-” Robert picked up his plate and declared that he was going to have a drink in the kitchen before they left. 

Jace waved his spoon around and pointed it at Alec, making Max laugh. “Magnus might get grumpy if you keep him waiting…” Alec sighed at him, turning away and telling Max he needed to eat his vegetables or Honey would grow quicker than him. It was none of Jace’s business but Magnus hadn’t been in the best mood that last week. Alec couldn’t really blame him though. He knew himself how horrible it was when you weren’t healthy enough to go out and do whatever you wanted. He’d taken Magnus for ice cream a few days ago and they had taken little walks with Honey but they hadn’t gone much further than that because he got tired quickly.

Izzy watched as Robert strolled back into the room, grabbing his keys from the side table. Alec hugged Maryse and waved to the rest of his siblings before going out of the front door with his bag on his back. Max jumped down from the table, grabbing one of Honey’s toys and running after Alec before he could get into the car.

Izzy and Jace remained in silence until Maryse walked over, sitting opposite her two remaining children. She thought for a moment and they looked up at her expectantly.

“I’m proud of you all. I hope you know that.” She reached across the table, taking a hand from both of them. The house shook as Max ran in, shutting the front door after himself. Maryse waited to speak as he thundered up the stairs. He’d won a goldfish when he’d been to the funfair with Tavvy earlier and she guessed that he was going to Alec’s room to talk to it again, or feed it. Robert and Maryse hadn’t been very impressed when he had run in with the plastic bag but it seemed like it was staying now. Alec wasn’t happy about the two temporary roommates but they all had to make sacrifices. “You know, we were very young when we had you all. I always did worry that I wouldn’t be cut out to be a parent-”

“Mom…” Izzy interrupted her before she could speak. She didn’t know where it had come from but she didn’t want to hear it. “We couldn't have asked for better parents than you and Dad...”

Maryse smiled back at them sadly. “I never told you but- there were some people who didn’t approve... I was only just an adult when I found out I was expecting Alec. I always knew that I wanted to be with your father but when I got pregnant, there were people who I had cut ties with for our own happiness. Sometimes that happens. I know this is all out of the blue but I guess- I just want all of you to end up happy like we did. Seeing Alec there, on his way to Magnus’ just made me think- it was the best decision we ever made to have all of you.”

Jace tilted his head and Izzy let go of Maryse’s hand, allowing Jace to take them in his own.

“Mom, I’m so sorry that people weren’t fair to you. What- what on earth they say to you?”

“Jace-”

“No, Isabelle. It’s okay.” Maryse pulled her hand away and wiped her eye. “It’s been playing on my mind for a while and I needed to talk to someone about it.” She sniffled. “It upsets Robert so much, even now. They said that I shouldn’t have had Alec. That it was Robert’s fault that I got pregnant so young-”

“Bullshit- that’s horrible!” Jace shook his head as he swore but Maryse decided to let him have it. “Family members?”

“No, not family members- although neither of us had many. Just people from our community. They- they said I should have- that the best option would be if I decided to-” Maryse paused. She didn’t need to say it exactly. They knew what she meant. “It doesn’t matter now. I wouldn’t change having any of you for the world.”

Izzy put her hand over her mouth as Jace spoke, closing her eyes. Max made a noise upstairs and she shot off before anyone could say anything. Maryse looked up, worried that she had said something wrong as Izzy darted out and up the stairs. Jace got up, moving to hug his mother. She held him tightly, resting her head on his shoulder and feeling glad that she could finally put that part of her past away. “She’s okay, don’t worry. Well, you’ve got all of us and we have you. That’s what’s important, right? You made the right choice, Mom, and we love you, okay? You were able to manage four children- five if you include Magnus. That’s pretty cool.”

Maryse chuckled and let go of Jace, wiping a spot of ketchup off his face with her thumb. “Yes, I suppose that’s right. Sometimes, we just have to go through these things but I suppose that’s the beauty in it, isn’t it? It brings us closer together and makes us stronger. You don’t underestimate the power of family. Whoever that is to you.”

***

Magnus looked up and narrowed his eyes as Asmodeus crept around the kitchen table, leaning down as he skulked in one slipper. Honey was going through a rapid phase of growing and not only did that mean that she'd needed a new collar but she was also chewing up everything in  sight. Asmodeus pulled out one of the chairs out and clicked his fingers at the sound of ripping. Magnus looked across but could only see his father’s bottom in the air.

"Come on, girl. TskTskTsk."

Magnus glanced up, flicking through a pile of various magazines that Cat had given him when she’d popped in for coffee, earlier on in the day. He was currently looking through a men’s clothing catalogue and he licked his finger and spoke as he turned the page, making a surprised ‘ooh!” sound and circling another thing that Alec might have liked. "That doesn't work. Give her a biscuit instead."

Asmodeus tilted his head, pulling his slipper as Honey growled and slid on her round belly. "You can't give her biscuits for everything! It's rewarding her for delinquent behavior. May I also remind you, my son, that you still can't walk far enough to take her out and I've had to extend her route because you and your boyfriend treat her like a princess."

Magnus dramatically flicked the page again and turned the yellow highlighter that was in his hand. "You can actually blame Jace and Isabelle for that. Izzy is still sick and fighting tooth and nail with Jace because he still hasn't come down with food poisoning.” Magnus looked down again and switched his highlighter to an orange one, replacing the lid. “Honey hasn't left her side and Izzy’s been spoiling her. I have also been informed that Jace has trying to win her favour back with slices of ham. By that I mean Honey- Not Izzy.” Magnus reached over the table and pushed forward the treat jar without looking up. Clary had also brought Magnus some art kits to do while he was stuck inside and the front of the jar sparkled with Honey’s name. Asmodeus gave up, sticking his hand in and throwing the treat across the floor. He grabbed a pencil from the pot on the table and pushed the jar back from the edge, saving himself from trying to wipe the silver glitter from his fingers. Honey skittered after the treat, dropping the slipper and disappearing across the room to take it somewhere. Probably to the couch which Asmodeus had given up trying to keep her off. He defeatedly picked the slipper up, now without any material other than the sole, and sighed as he went to chuck both that one and the other in the bin. He’d needed new ones anyway.

“Hey, Father?”

Asmodeus flicked on the coffee machine which probably wasn’t a good idea that late but Magnus could sniff out decaf from miles away. “Yes?”

“Is it okay if I ask Alec if he could stay over tonight? I mean he hasn’t really been here this week anyway and with the pipe bursting in his bathroom and messing up Max’s room next door, Max has been sharing his bed all week and I think he’s getting fed up about it.”

Asmodeus narrowed his eyes and carried the two cups over, moving away again to get the milk from the fridge. “I don’t see why not. You did give him a key to get in. I actually expected to see more of him since you came out of hospital.” He tilted his head and closed the fridge door with a sigh. He needed to go shopping again. “Is everything okay with you both?”

Magnus nodded and slid his cup over quietly, tapping on the screen of his phone. Something had definitely changed since he had come out of hospital. Even with him still needing frequent hospital trips, everything was starting to go back to normal. Now him and Alec had all this free time over the summer and things had cooled down in regards to their relationship, there had been a bit of a lapse in communication somewhere. Magnus was hoping that this slight let down in communication would resolve itself soon but they really needed just to sit down and have a good talk. “Everything’s fine.” Magnus’ phone buzzed on the table and he glanced at it. “He said his dad would drop him off. He’s just grabbing something to eat and he’ll be over.”

Asmodeus pulled the chair across from Magnus and sat down; unspoken words between them. The old him would have joked that they had a spare room if Alec was staying over but he knew Magnus wouldn’t appreciate that now. Magnus had hardly seen him and Alec wasn’t staying anywhere else. “Magnus? Do you think I’ve done a good job? Of raising you, I mean?”

Magnus looked up from his phone, meeting his father’s eyes. He went to pick up the carton of milk and tipped it over for a second. Magnus growled under his breath as Asmodeus picked it up and stood up quickly, grabbing a cloth from the sink. “Well, of course! How could you ever think anything differently?”

“It’s just-” Asmodeus sighed, rinsing the cloth under the tap. “-Do you think you would have done better with your Mom here? A female authority figure?”

Magnus blinked at him as Asmodeus sat down again. “Father, having two parents doesn’t always mean a child has the best upbringing. There’s so many different types of families all over the world; all walks of life. Having one parent, two parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, anyone, raise you, doesn’t define who you are. It’s the love that they give to you and have in return. I’ll be honest with you, some days- I really miss Mama, okay? And I know it’s stupid because I never got to know her- but I do. It’s not like being upset will change anything though. She wouldn’t want it. We just have to deal with what we’ve been given.”

Asmodeus nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. “I think I did a pretty great job in raising you.” He looked down but smiled at his son, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. “I guess you won’t need your old man to look after you before long...”

Honey’s collar jingled from across the room and they listened to the sound of her drinking from her bowl. Magnus reached over, patting Asmodeus’ hand. “You’re my father. I’ll always need you. And it’s not like I’ve had no female figures around. I’ve got Lily… and Maryse now.”

Asmodeus chuckled to himself. He wouldn’t have got through the past month or so without Robert and Maryse and had offered for them to come around for food when Magnus was in slightly better spirits. “That reminds me, anyway. Lily is coming over so she can stay with you while I go on that work trip tomorrow. I know she’s been back and forth helping out but she’ll have to take the spare room for the night because I don’t want her driving in the dark if she leaves early in the morning-” Asmodeus got up and walked around to the other side of the table. He took Magnus’ mug, putting his hand on Magnus’ neck and messing with him. Magnus’ hair wasn’t styled today and was falling in his eyes. He was nervous about having his hair cut again because of the scar on his head. Asmodeus didn’t understand it since Magnus had always loved going to get his hair done in the barbers, and he had already had one scar in the middle anyway, but Asmodeus was trying to find someone they knew who would come out to the house and make it less of an ordeal for him. Magnus pushed his fingers over his forehead, knowing exactly what his father was going to say about Lily having the spare for the night. “-So Alec will have to sleep in your room… Not that you would mind that though.”

Magnus laughed, shaking his head. “That’s awfully nice of you to worry about her driving... And will you just say ‘In my bed’ already? I’m hardly going to make Alexander sleep on the floor because you’re scared of anyone having feelings.”

As Magnus spoke, Asmodeus had reached across the table to pick up the remaining mug. Magnus’ retort made him let go of it and narrowly catch it in midair. “Wha-what?! I’m not scared of- of-feelings. I just happen to have a very calm mannered personality.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, chucking his magazine onto the pile that was on the table. Having Izzy, Clary and Cat around was great because they all swapped once they had read something. He’d introduced Cat to Clary and Izzy, and had somehow infiltrated their girls’ night a few days ago. Since he couldn’t go far and Izzy still wasn’t feeling great, they’d all met at hers to make bracelets, have facials and bake cookies. Jace and Simon had walked in and screamed to see four green faces staring back at them, although the spacers between their painted toes definitely hadn’t helped.

Magnus spoke flippantly, lining up his highlighters on the table. “You’re- just- scared be-cause you don’t want to tell Lily how you feel about her. Getting in touch with your feel-ings means opening up your heart and making yourself feel vulnerable-”

“Woah, woah, woah, woah, WOAH! I do not have feelings for Lily!”

Magnus laughed. “Oh you so do! That’s right! I heard how you went to sleep together! If I hadn’t had my seizure and you hadn’t had the police knocking, I bet you would have spent the whole morning snuggling.”

“I was already up at that point! And how the hell do you know about that?!”

Magnus cackled at Asmodeus’ red face. He always creased his nose when he was mad. “Please! Me and Lily tell each other everything. Father, if you are in love then tell her how you feel about her! It’s okay to put yourself out there! ...Mama would want to see you happy.” Magnus made kissing gestures and crinkled his nose to match Asmodeus’, making him scoff at the idiotic accusation. 

“Oh, real mature! Says the one in an actual relationship. You- you- you better cut that out before she gets here!” Asmodeus slunk away to the bottom of the stairs, promptly ending the conversation with his grumbling before Magnus could say anything else.

“And we didn’t go to sleep together! Our pillow wall was defective!”

***

A short while after dinner, Jace jumped over the couch arm and threw himself down next to Izzy. She was eating from a tub of ice cream and sighed as Jace flashed his spoon in front of her. “Fine. Take what’s left.” Jace glanced at the large container of ice cream. It didn’t tend to last long in their house and there wasn’t much there. Robert had said that while Izzy was ill, she could pretty much have what she wanted, as the case had been for Alec. It was more important for her to keep up her body weight.

“You know what? It’s okay, Iz. I think I remember that I have some cookies left from the other day.” Jace disappeared into the kitchen and came back a moment later, reaching into the packet and handing one to Izzy. Her face lit up and she dunked it in her vanilla ice cream. “Listen, Iz. I’m sorry I’ve been giving you a hard time and that I’ve been a bit of a jerk to you while you feel like crap and I got away with it without getting sick. I’m your big brother and I should be looking after you while you’re sick, not winding you up.”

Izzy reached out her hands for the cookies and Jace passed her another one. Izzy looked down quietly, speaking as she took a bite. “It’s okay. It’s not like I want you to be sick. It’s just that I had plans with Simon this week and now it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. The timing isn’t great.” Izzy set down the ice cream container and chucked her spoon into it. 

 “I wish I had never taken you out for food if that’s what it was. Or that I had caught what you had so that you weren’t on your own…” Jace looked around the room, relieved that no one else was about. He lifted his chin gruffly. “Maybe Simon could come round here?” He poked Izzy and shrugged. “I could put up with him for a few hours.” Izzy scowled at him and tilted her head. “Oh, come on. I’m messing with you. He’s not a bad guy.” Jace picked up his packet of cookies again and shook the last one out. Izzy couldn’t see that it was the last from where she was and Jace looked at it before passing it to her. He handed it over with a blank expression that did not equal his internally fading image. Giving his sister the last of his cookies… what on earth would people think of him? Maybe he was ill after all.

“He’s not. He’s pretty great actually. How about we change the subject?” Izzy grinned. “What do you think is going on with Alec and Magnus?”

Jace laughed and shook his head. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“It is not-” Izzy finished the cookie. “Not to me anyway. Enlighten me, Jace.”

***

The sun was just starting to go down as Asmodeus went to answer the front door. Lily smiled back at him, the round moon reflecting in shiny waves off her dark glossy hair.

“Hey, housemate!” Lily beamed up at him. The handle of her suitcase was in one hand, adorned with stickers from various places she’d visited; some that he had joined her on. Asmodeus chuckled under his breath, pulling the door open wider as she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as he closed his eyes. Her head rested on his shoulder and his hands brushed gently over her back for a second as she looked inside. He shivered slightly and ushered Lily in before the cold could get into the house.

Asmodeus stepped to the side and held out his hand, gesturing for Lily to give him her suitcase. She passed it over and put her hand on his cheek affectionately, leaving it pink as she walked away and looked over to the square shaped couch. Asmodeus rubbed his cheek and watched as Lily placed her handbag by the side. He honestly didn’t know what she possibly could have kept in a handbag that big. He walked up behind her, waiting for her question as she looked into the living room area. Alec had arrived a little while ago and was sat on one end of the couch, typing into his phone; Magnus was on the other, apparently snorting and laughing over absolutely nothing. The TV was on, up on the wall, with some movie she hadn’t seen but neither of them were watching it. “What are they-”

Asmodeus rolled his eyes. “Don’t even ask. One of Magnus’ little friends has been developing some sort of app. A bit like the text-to-speech app that we use on our computer programming systems at work. They’ve-” Asmodeus sighed at the sound of Magnus giggling. “They’ve figured out-a way-to make use of the Bluetooth system on Magnus’ hearing aids and if he’s in close range, Alec can send him messages from his phone.” Asmodeus gestured for Lily to sit down at the kitchen table. It was a bit late for more coffee now, so he filled up the kettle. She pulled one of the chairs out, watching as Asmodeus grabbed a pack of biscuits from one of the cupboards and set them on a small plate.

“That’s pretty neat.”

“I suppose,” Asmodeus grumbled. “Although, I dread to hear about what the other boy has been saying into his ears... I might- try and figure out how to do it myself, if he’s misbehaving. It’s a shame he doesn’t wear them to sleep. It would be a great way to get a teenage boy out of bed in the morning-” Lily snorted and Asmodeus grinned before shaking his head and going to put water over the tea. “-although I don’t know what sort of father that would make me.”

Lily watched as Asmodeus poured water into two mugs. His back was to her now, but his ears pricked up as she spoke quietly. She glanced across the room. Magnus was lying on his back with his arms behind his head. Alec was laying over him on his elbows, speaking quietly as Magnus nodded, pouting his bottom lip. “You’re an amazing father. Magnus is lucky to have you.” She glanced up sweetly. “Anyone would be though.”

Asmodeus’ mouth hung open for a second and he turned around, bringing the cups over. He looked as if he was about to say something and Lily tilted her head in confusion. He mumbled something along the lines of forgetting to close one of the upstairs windows and how the tea needed to brew and disappeared upstairs for a moment.

After another minute or so, Lily was sipping her tea and nibbling on a biscuit. She knew that she probably shouldn’t have been because she was on a strict fitness kick at that time, but it was only one and Asmodeus had bought the dark chocolate ones that she loved. She thought to herself, turning the biscuit in her hand. Asmodeus’ had always hated dark chocolate and had never bought them before so she worried that they were Alec’s or Magnus’ or something and that she shouldn’t have been eating them. She took another and groaned happily as she looked up. She would have to ask them later.

When Lily was contemplating a fourth, she looked up in surprise to see Alec walking past her in bare feet. He was blinking sleepily and only half noticed that she was there, rubbing his eyes as he went to pour a couple of drinks for him and Magnus. Lily held out the plate of ‘biscuit’ silently, pouting at the empty space. Alec shook his head as he yawned. His jacket was over one of the chairs and he looked through one of the pockets for a second, apparently satisfied in finding what he was looking for without pulling it out. He pulled his phone from his back pocket and flicked the screen a few times, leaning over the table as she watched. Lily missed her son terribly sometimes and often wondered what he would have been like around her if everything had worked out. She still saw him on occasion, although rarely, and she missed being a mom. She still was in some way, but it wasn’t really the same. She hadn’t known Alec for long but both from what she had heard about him and from how she had seen how he treated Magnus, she had definitely taken a shine to him. She would have made it very clear if she didn’t think he was deserving of Magnus.

Lily got up from her chair and slowly strolled over to the front door. She grabbed her handbag and dug around for a second, pulling out a container of homemade marshmallows. She walked over to Magnus, who was checking the time as he lay on his back, watching as his eyes lit up at the familiar blue object in her hands. He reached up lazily as she peered over the back of the couch, pulling the box away as he frowned at not being able to reach it. “Nu, uh!”

“What?!”

Lily laughed as she handed the container to him, making Magnus smile. “Too busy to come and say hello?” Magnus looked up, about to apologise when he caught her smile. She leaned over, ruffling his hair as he slowly pulled off the lid, sending a puff of powdered sugar into the air. “What do you say?”

“Thank yooou, Aunnnt Lilyyy.” Magnus put one in his mouth and grinned up happily, watching as Lily walked around to sit down next to him. He sat up slowly because he still had dizzy spells now and again and had to be careful.

Lily picked one of the cushions that had fallen onto the floor and fluffed it quietly before setting it back in its proper place and turning to speak to Magnus. “So? How are you doing?” Magnus had become quite dependant lately on using his right arm. He reached into the box and Lily tilted her head, making him exclaim something along the lines of ‘oh, ye’ and shakily pulling out another marshmallow with his left.

“Pretty good. I’m down to four physio sessions a week now.” Magnus shrugged. “It’s still a lot but it’s better than six.” Lily listened quietly and nodded as she kicked off her short heels, placing them by the side of the couch and stretching out her legs in front of her. Magnus always made fun of her for having little feet.

“And the left sided weakness?”

Magnus screwed up his face. “Still a problem. It’s just about adjusting really. Accepting that there’s some things that will take me time to be able to do again. Doing up coat zips is still a problem. The same as cutting up food.”

Lily nodded innocently. “And how’s that dry spell going?”

Magnus nearly choked on his third marshmallow as he glanced over to the kitchen. Alec was sat at the table, probably checking how Izzy was. He worried about her. Magnus whispered, clenching his teeth. “Lily!”

“Oh, come on. What happened to telling each other everything?” Magnus sat up, placing the lid back on the box before handing it to Lily. She looked at the box before shrugging, sticking a marshmallow in her mouth and then another before putting the box out of arm’s reach.

“Okay. Fine.” Magnus whispered. “But for the love of God, please be quiet because Alec is over there. I’ll talk about myself with you, but his business is his business.”

“Okay then. How are you doing?”

“Fine, I guess… A bit shaky.” Magnus leaned forward and Lily copied him, the tub of marshmallows back in her lap. “Me and Alec haven’t really seen each other this past week. The pipe broke in the bathroom leading off his bedroom. His little brother’s room got flooded so he’s been staying in with Alec, not that I’d really be able to stay over... I’ve been feeling a bit useless and I don’t think we’ve been communicating the best to be honest.”

“That’s understandable-” Lily swallowed what was in her mouth. “-but you’re getting better every day. Just try and remember how amazing you’ve been and all the work you’re putting into getting better. Alec loves you so much, Magnus. You’re only teenagers and you have to realise that this is your first proper relationship. Both of you. Not everything is going to be perfect but- hey! That’s relationships. Just try and be patient with each other, okay?” 

Magnus moved over on the couch, hugging Lily quickly and taking the box away from her. Lily pouted but then smiled again as Magnus took a marshmallow and handed the box back to her.“What about you then? Didn’t you have a date the other night?”

Lily looked down, smoothing her skirt. Magnus was good at reading people and knew she liked to comfort herself with textures. “I didn’t go…”

“WHAT?! Why not?!”

“Uggh.” Lily sighed. “I’m just not interested in dating. When I meet the right person, I like to think I’ll just know it.”

“Well, how can you be so sure? That’s a pretty long shot.”

Lily glanced up with curiosity. Magnus had spoken without looking at her, focused on something else as he rolled onto his back like a puppy. Alec leaned over with his arms over the back of the couch. He reached for Magnus’ hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it, gathering Magnus’ hand in both of his. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it softly as they both smiled sweetly at each other. Lily glanced at them both in wonder at what they had found so young, Magnus lifting his arm and reaching up to hold his hand against Alec’s cheek. Alec leaned into his touch, closing his eyes and putting his hand over the top.

Lily laughed softly and closed the empty box. She doubted she would have Magnus’ attention again for a while.

“It’s okay, Magnus. When you find the one, you just know.”

***

“Max, focus!” Jace’s fingers moved delicately over the keys. He didn’t know how long they had been up in his room, but Max was starting to wear down his patience. “You said you wanted me to teach you and you’re not even listening to me!” Max grumbled an insult from the stool next to Jace, reaching over the keyboard to press a couple of the numbered buttons. Jace rolled his eyes as Max walked his fingers over the keys, each of them making an animal noise. “Right, lesson over!”

Max smiled up at him angelically and fluttered his eyelashes. “Then take your hand off the keyboard, Jace.”

“Never!” Max grappled with Jace’s hand, trying to pull the finger away that was placed over one of the keys. Max unfairly jabbed Jace in the side, making him lose his grip. Max hit the key that made the duck sound, making Jace jump. “Okay, very funny!” Max hit it again in quick succession and Jace leaned down, switching off the socket in the wall.

“Owww! No fair!”

Jace switched it back on again. “Come on, Max. Show me that first bit again and then you can take a break, I promise.”

“I want a drum kit!”

“That’s what dads’ bellies are for. Come on.” Max giggled into his hand and Jace felt strangely fuzzy for a second. Max moved forward on the stool and put his hands flat on his end of the keyboard. “That’s it. Pick your elbows up a bit.” Max pressed his fingers down, playing a few cords and Jace nodded encouragingly.

Max stopped and turned to him. “I want Honey back!”

“Right, moment’s over! I’m done!” Jace scraped the stool back, moving Max with it. He threw himself down on the bed, grabbing his phone and unlocking the screen as he lay on his back.

Max looked at the keyboard and shrugged before jumping down with a pout. “What are you doing now?” He popped up next to Jace, trying to look at his phone.

“I’m texting Clary to see if Simon wants to come over.”

“Are you gonna play with Simon?”

Jace dropped his phone on his face before picking it up again. “Max, teenagers don’t come over to play with- You know what? It doesn’t matter.”

“Why don’t you ask Simon yourself if you want him to come over? Are you gonna play video games?”

Jace grumbled without looking up. “It’s not for me. It’s for Izzy. And I don’t have his number...”

“Why doesn’t Izzy ask him? Simon is Izzy’s boyfriend.”

“Uggh! Be-cause she’s being grumpy and doesn’t want to bother him. If I can ask him to come over and get him to say that he just wanted to check in on her then it might...make her feel better.”

Max cocked his head. “And why are you doing that?”

“Do you ever stop asking questions?!”

***

A short while later, Lily had gone upstairs to put her pyjamas on. She usually just threw on joggers and an old T-shirt but had chosen to bring a nice red pair since she knew she’d be around company. When she had walked down the spiral staircase and reached the bottom, she strolled obliviously into the kitchen area, creasing her eyes at Asmodeus. He was sitting at the table with a book in front of him, his hand half over his eyes as if shielding himself from bright sunlight.

“As? What on earth is that noise?”

Asmodeus mumbled quietly under his breath. “Dear Lord, make it stop.”  

“What is it?”

Asmodeus pointed across the room, still with one hand over his eyes as he refused to look up. Lily laughed as she glanced around to the couch. The noise was coming from Alec and Magnus. Magnus had propped himself up where the two sides of the L-shaped couch joined, and they’d clearly gotten carried away after their week apart. Even if they’d not been speaking much for that past week, they had missed each other deeply and were more than making up for it, either not realising or not caring that they had company. Alec was sitting on Magnus’ right side, their legs tangled together as they kissed in a heated frenzy. Magnus’ left arm was hanging over the back of the couch, his right over Alec’s shoulders. They were deeply engrossed in each other’s mouths and moaning quietly as Alec’s hand ran under Magnus’ shirt.

“I can’t watch this, Lily. Ugh. Teenagers.”

“Goodness.” Lily snorted under her breath. “Well, they’re not asking you to watch it, As. Although I think they’re beyond caring at this point.” Asmodeus looked down again and turned the page of his book, his hand still covering his eyes. Lily’s face went warm and she put her hands on her face as she heard Magnus moan slightly louder from across the room, clearly enjoying himself. She rubbed at the wood grain in the table, not quite understanding why she was still standing up and facing them. Alec’s breath hitched audibly as he grabbed Magnus shirt in his hand and Magnus lay down, neither of them looking like they were anywhere close to stopping. Alec climbed over him and put his hands on either of Magnus’ cheeks as they kissed ravenously. Lily wondered which was worse; that her and Asmodeus were both still in the room or that if they tried to leave, the two teens might notice they had been there all along.

Lily blinked at the two young men, watching as Magnus shirt was pulled over his head and she prayed quietly. To save both her and Asmodeus, even though she didn’t think it could possibly go any further than just shirts off while they were around, she didn’t want to risk it. Lily sat down quietly and pretended to take interest in Asmodeus’ book so that she was blocking his view. She couldn’t hide the noise still coming from across the room, but she could shield Magnus’ poor father from having to witness his topless son with his tongue shoved down the throat of another young man.

“What’s the book?”

Asmodeus’ glanced over to her before sliding it across, pulling his hand from his face. “Just a bit of light reading.” Lily turned it around, trying to understand the complex computer coding that had something to do with cooling systems. It definitely wasn’t light reading by any means but Asmodeus was a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for.

“Interesting.”

Asmodeus picked up his head, looking over lily’s shoulder before putting his head back down again. Alec was also now shirtless and lying flat on the couch. Magnus was straddled over his middle, Alec running his hands up Magnus’ back. Asmodeus took note that Magnus’ left hand was holding onto Alec’s neck and remembered that Magnus was supposed to be doing his exercises at that time. What he would tell Magnus’ physio person?  He didn’t know. Did that count as doing his exercises?

“Do you think we should tell them to stop?”

Lily looked over her shoulder, turning back as her eyes widened. She knew they hadn’t seen each other all week but Magnus was so getting teased for this later. “That’s cruel. They’re young and in love. Leave them be.”

Asmodeus glanced over again and she leaned across, using one finger to direct his sight away. “...Should I just hit two pans over them?”

Lily laughed, putting her hand over her mouth. Asmodeus broke his serious expression and smiled, shaking his head. Lily let out a sigh before standing up and stretching her arms. It was getting late and they would have to go upstairs to their beds soon. Alec and Magnus would probably just make their own way up when they got tired enough. Although, she probably wouldn’t have been surprised to come downstairs in the morning and find them crashed out on the couch.

Lily yawned, pushing her chair under the table. “Come on, As. You know what it’s like to love someone that much...” Lily rubbed her eyes, quickly walking across the room to get to the stairs. As she left, Asmodeus’ gaze followed her; every step until she disappeared out of his sight.

***

“Yep?” Jace looked up from where he was lying on his bed, wondering who was knocking on his door that late and if Max had maybe wanted to sleep in his bed with him while Alec was away for the night. He found himself surprised when Izzy walked in with her bag over her shoulder, silently taking in his pyjamas as Jace shoved his well-worn copy of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ under his pillow.

“Jace… are you busy?”

Jace coolly fiddled with the chain around his neck. It had been his father’s before he had come to live with the Lightwood’s. “Well, it’s late- so I was going to go to sleep.” He turned his head, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the window. “Surely you can’t be going out? It’s dark out-”

“Jace... I need you to drive me somewhere-”

Jace sat up, crossing both his arms and his legs. If you wanted to get anything in their house, you had to assert some authority. “What?! Absolutely not! Mom and Dad would kill us. No- go away.” He flicked his hand dismissively. “I’m tired and you’ve been on my case all week. I’m not doing you sketchy favours in the dead of night.”

Izzy chucked her bag down, grabbing Jace’s pyjama top and bunching it in her hand.

“Listen to me, you asshole! I am not in the mood for playing games!” Izzy went quiet and smiled, making Jace gulp and think of how he probably would have preferred a whole room of ducks to one desperate and very angry Izzy. “You will listen to me. I need you to drop me off at Clary’s, No questions. Not even a peep. You will drive back here and keep Mom and Dad from checking up on me until I can get back in the morning. Deal?”

Jace swallowed; his voice a few octaves higher than he would have liked. “And what if I don’t?”

Izzy grinned and tilted her head. “Do you remember about a month back when you went to that party? When you saw all those guys from your old football team? Clary may have looked past it just the once, Jace, but how do you think Mom and Dad would react if they happened to overhear a phone call with me talking to Clary about what happened.

 Jace’s eyes widened as he gasped. “You-wouldn’t!”

Izzy let go of Jace’s shirt, throwing him backwards with an ‘ooof’ on his part as she sat down on the bed. She put her hands over her face and Jace’s expression broke as tears fell from her eyes and he watched her trying to wipe them away with the back of her hands. She was obviously trying not to mess up her makeup, even though Jace didn’t know why.

“I’m sorry-I’m so sorry, Jace. I wouldn’t. But please- please, Jace. I’m desperate. I just need my brother to do this for me and I won’t ask anything from you ever again. I swear”

Jace rubbed his face and looked down at his pyjamas. “There’s no chance of you telling me what this is about?”

Izzy shook her head as her lip wobbled. “I can’t, Jace. I’m sorry.”

“I don't like you dragging Clary into this either. Have you two got into trouble or something?”

Izzy sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “No- we haven’t. I just need to talk to her.”

“I could wait outside and take you home after-”

“No- it’s okay.” Izzy looked up at Jace and he reached out his hand. “I’ll stay at hers tonight and walk back in the morning. I just- I don’t want to be in the dark on my own.”

***

Magnus grinned as he leaned over Alec, both of them panting; their chests touching every few seconds as they rose up and down. Alec's eyes were wild with desire and Magnus could feel the familiar pull between them, drawing itself deep into his bones. He knew that this wasn't healthy. They needed to talk about what had been going on between them, but Alec's lips were so soft and- and he smelled so good- he could feel how badly they wanted- not only wanted but needed each other. Alec leaned up again, his hands pulling at the back of Magnus' head. Magnus broke away and pulled back from where he was lying on Alec's chest. He bit his red lips, closing his eyes at Alec's concern. "Magnus? Are you okay? Have I hurt you?"

Magnus shook his head slightly, touching his head. “No. I think we need to go upstairs though.”

Alec’s face lit up in the darkened room and Magnus’ heart shattered. He knew how badly Alec wanted more between them, but it just wasn’t possible. “Of course. If you wanted to-”

“No, Alec-”

“Yes, yes, I know. It’s probably late and I’m tired too but-”

Magnus shook his head. “No, Alexander. I don’t want to have sex with you… I mean, I do but… I can’t. I want to go to sleep.”

Magnus climbed off slowly, with Alec’s help, and sat down on the edge of the couch. Alec sat up and Magnus turned his head, grateful that Alec couldn’t see his expression and how much his heart was hurting. “Oh. I mean, sure.” Alec wrung his hands. “It’s important for you to rest- both of us.” Alec moved himself away slightly, feeling ashamed when he saw how Magnus was draped backwards with exhaustion. When Alec had been talking with their counsellor a few days ago, she had said that guilt was often a big factor in his mood and had told him how it linked in with his anxiety. He remembered thinking back to where he had felt bad for small, accidental things that weren’t his fault, but nothing had hit him as hard this before, seeing Magnus gasping to catch his breath. “Magnus, I am so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Alec reached his hand out and Magnus took it, allowing Alec to pull his arm and help him to sit up properly. “Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Magnus, I pushed you into this-”

“Alexander, you didn’t! I’m fine, okay! Just drop it already!”

Alec recoiled backwards, grabbing his shirt from over the couch and pulling it on quickly. Magnus had become irritable lately when he was tired, and it was easier to calm him down if Alec just left him in peace for a moment. He didn’t understand what was going on, but it wasn’t important. Magnus apparently wanted to be left alone. “Okay, Magnus. Okay. I might go put my pyjamas on then.”

Magnus blinked up at him. He hated arguing at the best of times and didn’t understand why all this was happening. They loved one another. They were a team. Why was there this weird energy between them? “Alexander, wait.”

Alec walked back over, sitting down on the edge of the couch. He put his hand against Magnus’ cheek, closing his eyes to stop tears forming in them. “Magnus, I love you and I don’t want to fight-” Alec was stopped as Magnus leaped on him. Within a moment, Alec was flat on his back with Magnus between his bent knees. Magnus lay over him, clashing their lips together, over and over again as they both groaned loudly. Using his right arm to hold himself up and his left behind Alec’s head, Magnus had Alec’s arms pinned flat against the couch, crashing their hips together as they both panted and Alec’s eyes went back in his head. He rolled his body against Magnus’. It felt so good and he couldn’t remember the last time anything even close to this had happened between them.  Magnus fell over Alec, kissing the side of his neck and taking Alec’s skin between his teeth. Alec slipped his hand down the front of Magnus’ joggers and listened as the other young man let out a raspy breath, moving back to clash their tongues together as he leaned forward, into Alec’s touch. Magnus gasped, lifting his head away and biting his lip before opening his eyes again. Alec’s eyes drifted to the side, realising what was happening as he pulled his hand away. Magnus met eyes with him, shaking his head in reply and trying to kiss him again. Magnus’ mouth was open, and beads of perspiration glistened over his forehead. Alec touched at his burning lips, pushing Magnus back slightly.

“Magnus…” Magnus nodded with his mouth open. He wanted to say something but couldn’t catch his breath. He gave in and nodded sadly after a moment, moving for Alec to sit up. “Are you alright?”

Magnus held up his thumb and looked up, laughing a little. “That was nice.”

Alec shook his head, sighing quietly. “It was.” He held his hand out softly. Magnus still looked a little disappointed. “We’ll get there. That’s enough for the night. Let’s get some rest now, okay?”

Magnus blinked back at him, hardly keeping his eyes open. He held up his arms weakly and Alec nodded, leaning down and allowing Magnus to wrap his arms around his neck. Alec lifted him gently, supporting him from underneath as his legs curled around Alec’s waist like a child. He leaned into Alec’s shoulder, closing his eyes for a second, and whispered softly as Alec carried him up the stairs. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” As they reached the top, Alec spoke quietly. He’d refrained from speaking so he could focus enough on where his feet were going but whispered as he made his way over to Magnus’ room.

He sat Magnus down on the bed gently, watching as he wiped his arm over his head and remembered that his shirt was still downstairs. He felt way too hot and sticky to go to sleep, no matter how tired he was, and blinked at Alec for a moment. “I want a shower, but I don’t think I can stand.”

Alec looked back at him, pulling his phone out to check the time. “It’s a little late. The sound of the water might wake everyone else up.” Alec put his phone away and Magnus glanced towards his bathroom door. He’d had baths this late but never when he’d been this tired. He worried that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself up. Alec looked at him and nodded understandably, holding out his hand. While they had both said that they wouldn’t take anything further and were utterly exhausted, the next half hour consisted of some well needed quiet time, sweet touches and forehead kisses as Alec lay in the bath and Magnus lay on top of him with his arms around him.

***

Jace glanced at the clock on the dashboard as they pulled into Clary’s driveway. Dark rain clouds were filling the sky, matching the sombre silence of the car. He didn’t like this one bit. If their parents found out- well, he didn’t know what they would do. They had become very protective since Alec had first gotten ill and he didn’t know how they would react. He also had no idea why Izzy had needed to drag him out of the house in the dead of night.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait for you? Surely what you need to say to her won’t take long- although I don’t even know what that is-”

Izzy paused with her hand on the door handle. She wanted to speak to Jace but what if this was all over nothing? It would be easier for her to go to Clary first than have to justify herself to her brother. “Jace, I’m sorry that I’ve got you involved in this. Go home and get some sleep and I promise this will all make sense eventually-”

Jace scratched the side of his head, watching as she climbed out of the car. “Iz, wait.” Izzy turned around, about to shut the door when Jace gestured for her to walk around to him. She knew that if she was going to get this over with, she needed to go now, before she convinced herself that it was all in her head. Her feet moved mechanically, one step at a time, until she was around Jace’s side and he opened his door. “Come here.” Izzy’s breath hitched as Jace stood up, wrapping himself around her. She leaned into his chest, closing her eyes and burying her face into his shoulder. “Love you, Iz. Whatever is happening, okay? I know you need to do this for yourself but come home when you’re ready and I’ll be there whenever you need me.”

Izzy hugged her brother tightly for a second and broke away, wiping her eyes as the rain started falling around them. “Thank you. I’ll see you at home, okay?”

“Sure. Call me if you need anything and I’ll come straight back. Now quick, get inside before you get soaked.” Izzy waved to her brother, watching as he jumped back into the car and turned the ignition on. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a stick of gum before checking behind him and backing off the drive.

Izzy turned to face the front door, adjusting her bag over her shoulder. She knew she probably looked a mess and could already feel where her makeup was streaked down her face.

“Breathe, Isabelle. Everything’s fine. You’re just going to see Clary. Just going to talk with her. She’s your best friend. She can help.”

There was a rumble of thunder, matching Izzy’s frantic knocks on the door.

***

“Jace! If I find out that you want to drag me out in the rain with you again then I swear-” Clary pulled the door open, her eyes widening as she took in the sight on her doorstep. “My God! Iz! What happened?! What are you doing here so late?! You’re sick! You shouldn’t be out in the rain! Does anyone know you’re here?!”

Izzy blinked back at Clary as lightning streaked across the sky. She could hardly make her out between each flash of light, and it wasn’t until Izzy stepped forward that Clary could see her broken expression. What Clary had first thought of as rain, running down Izzy’s face, was actually a torrent of tears and Clary ducked out of the door, hugging her before she even knew why she was there. The rain cut through Clary’s pyjamas as she pulled Izzy inside and grabbed her bag to set it down. “Clary, oh I am in such a mess. I don’t know what to do- I’m so scared. I’m terrified-”

There was a shout from the living room, making Izzy jump out of her skin. “Clary? Who was at the door?!”

Izzy wiped her eyes as Clary tried to brush her hair from her face. “Are- are your parents home?”

“No, that’s just Simon... My parents have gone out for the night and his Mom and sister have gone away for two weeks so he’s staying here. We were going to come by tomorrow and surprise you. Is everything okay? Do you need me to call Luke?”

“No, no, no, no. Clary, can I speak with you alone? Upstairs?”

Clary whispered, silently pulling the living room door closed. “Are you guys having problems?”

“Please, Clary. I need you to promise that you’ll keep him down here. I need to talk with you and only you.”

Clary rubbed her eyes. She was frightened about what she was about to hear but it was probably nothing. Izzy and Simon could kiss and make up with a little encouragement and everything would be fine. “Sure. Let’s go to my room.” She gestured to the staircase and Izzy went first. Clary took a moment and disappeared into the living room before coming back and telling Izzy that she had told Simon that no one was there; that it was just the wind hitting the front door.

Izzy sat down on Clary’s bed for a second and pointed for her to shut the door after them. When she turned back round, Izzy was curled up with her arms over her head. “Shhh. Hey.” Clary ran her hand over Izzy’s back. “Take your time. It’s okay, Iz. I’m here for you.” Izzy’s shoulders shook and Clary waited until she had calmed down. “Are you and Simon breaking up?”

Izzy shook her head. “Clary, I have to tell you something. I’m terrified. I’m lost. I didn’t know what to do and you were the only person I could go to.”

Clary blinked back at her, hardly registering what she was hearing. “What is it? Are you okay?”

Izzy shook her head. “I- I’m two weeks late, Clary. I’ve been so scared, and I’ve been waiting and waiting, and it hasn’t come-”

Clary nodded understandably, calmly sitting next to her friend. Her heart was hammering inside but she knew she couldn’t show it. Izzy was frightened enough and needed someone who could- or could at least appear as if they were keeping it together. “Okay, let’s get through this one step at a time, okay? Have you had sex?” Izzy looked down with her head in her hands and nodded. “Okay. Right. Have you taken a test?”

Izzy shook her head. “Something-” Izzy paused to wipe her nose and Clary grabbed a pack of tissues from her bedside table. “Something my Mom said today made me piece it together. I guess- until now I’ve been ignoring it and hoping everything would be resolved but-”

“It hasn’t happened. And you- and Simon?”

Izzy wiped her face. “You can’t tell him about any of this. Not until I know for sure.” Clary held out her hands and Izzy took them, the pressure calming her a little.

“Iz, you’re cold. Let me get a blanket.” Clary walked across the room and grabbed one of her softer blankets from the radiator, she walked over quietly, disguising the shaking in her hands as she put it around Izzy’s shoulders. “Iz, when did this happen?”

“Maybe a month ago? I don’t know. The day we went out for food together.” Izzy wiped her face. “Clary, what mess have I gotten myself into? Ugh, it doesn’t even matter now. I- I can’t think straight.”

Clary rubbed her eyes slowly before pulling Izzy closer into her and holding her for a moment. Izzy’s face was contorted as she cried, and Clary didn’t know what else to do.

“Iz, if both you and Simon agreed to this then you’re right. It doesn’t matter. Come on, let me get changed and I’m going to go out and buy a test for you, okay? The shop is just around the corner and I’ll only be a few minutes. You’re going to be okay, Iz.” Clary bumped her head against Izzy’s, thinking of the only thing she could say. “I’m here for you. Whatever we find out.”

***

It had seemed like a lifetime had passed by the time Clary came back again and Izzy heard her rushing up the stairs. Simon had been standing in the hallway when she had gotten in and Izzy hadn’t known what she had said to him, but the TV had switched on shortly after, followed by the familiar ‘ding’ of the game console booting up. Clary rushed in, pulling the light purple box from under her coat. “I’m so sorry it took so long. I had to be careful because if someone saw me, it would have made it back to my dad.”

“Clary, I’m frightened.” Clary leaned down in front of Izzy, clutching the box to her middle.

“I know you are, Iz, but I’m right here with you, okay? You’re not on your own.” Clary held out her hand and Izzy took it, letting the blanket fall from her shoulders. She was scared but she’d had a good ten to fifteen minutes to think and knew that she needed to find out. Waiting wouldn’t help or change what had happened.

With Izzy’s hand in her own, Clary walked with Izzy into the hallway. She showed her to the bathroom and waited until Izzy had shut the door before sliding her back down the wall. This was so much to process, even for her, and she couldn’t even imagine what Izzy had been going through on her own for however long that was. Only a short while ago, Clary and Simon had been sitting on her living room floor and eating potato chips in front of the TV. This all felt too grown up and too soon to be dealing with but whatever had happened, Simon and Izzy had made a grown up decision and would have to face whatever that meant.

What must have only been moments later but felt like hours, Clary heard the lock slide on the door and Izzy stuck her head out. “Can you come in?”

Clary got up slowly. Her leg still wasn’t totally back to normal and sometimes it took a while to wake up. She whispered quietly as Izzy shut the door after her. “Did- do you know?” Clary glanced over to the stick that was lying on the bathroom table. She couldn’t see it from where she was but knew it was probably too early to see anything yet

“The instructions say to wait five minutes. They say one line will appear for a negative result and two-” Clary walked forward and hugged Izzy tightly. She didn’t know what else to say but she pulled her phone from her back pocket and hoped that Simon wasn’t wondering where she was

“It’s eleven- forty three.”

Izzy breathed out shakily. “Okay.”

Izzy sat down, leaning against the bath. Clary sat down next to her, both of them resting their heads together and staring up at the counter in silence. When Clary held up her phone silently, displaying 23:48, Izzy rubbed her temple and stood up, Clary holding onto her hand. She stepped forward and looked back at the other girl. “Clary, I think we need to go and tell Simon.”

Clary looked sideways to her and back to the table. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. Whatever happens, he is as involved in this as I am. This might be terrifying but I- I love him and I need him.” Izzy reached over with her head turned to the side, picking up the stick and holding it against her. Clary tilted her head and pouted her lip.

“I know it’s kind of ironic with a pregnancy test in your hand, but you’ve never told me that you love him before.”

“I haven’t?”

Clary shook her head. “No. I know he feels the same way though. Whatever happens, Iz. Simon’s going to be right there with you. The same as me.”

***

After their bath, Alec had helped Magnus to pull on his pyjamas and climb into bed. Alec had sorted himself out in the bathroom, returning after he had brushed his own teeth and used the toilet, curling his arms over his sides as he walked in. The room was freezing. Magnus was smiling as he leaned backwards in his bed. Alec pulled the blanket back, sliding in next to him and Magnus collapsed against his side, fitting his head, legs and arms into the spots where they always belonged.

“Magnus? Did you turn the heating off so I would snuggle you? Because you know I would have done that anyway? I might be a tad bad tempered on occasions but even I’m not crazy enough to say no to that.” Magnus shook his head, chuckling slightly. “What is it?”

Magnus licked his lips, trying to keep himself awake for just a few more minutes. Alec was so comforting, and it was making him tired to be back with him, but Alec was back by his side and that was all that Magnus cared about. Magnus looked up at Alec as he pulled the blanket over them, wrapping them both up before kissing Magnus’ head. “You- you remember when I told you about the skiing?”

Alec paused for a second. That had been a while back. “When you went on holiday?” He laughed, rubbing circles into Magnus hand. “Are you trying to make it snow?”

Magnus shook his head and smiled. “Okay... so I never told anyone this, but that cabin was the coldest place I’ve ever stayed in.”

Alec still didn’t know where he was going with this but nodded along, shifting and adjusting the blanket over Magnus’ side before taking his hands again. “Okay…”

“Well…” Magnus yawned. “I must have only been… six, maybe? But I heard footsteps and I couldn’t sleep. I never figured it out until years later when Lily mentioned how the cold makes her really miserable. She had been in a good mood that morning and I had never been able to figure out how she had gotten to sleep.”

“Magnuuus. She made you marshmallows. I know you pull pranks on each other, but you can’t mess with her like that-”

Magnus chuckled. “No, it’s not like that. It’s- I think she likes my father, Alexander, and I think- maybe he could like her back. I want them both to be happy and I thought that-”

“If you made the place cold- She would go sleep in with your dad?”

Magnus nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with it, you know? They’ve slept in the same bed before and there’s no harm in it. Everyone wins either way. If they don’t like each other then they’re friends and both get a good night’s sleep. If they like each other-”

“Magnus? What are you expecting to happen? You can’t force them to like each other.”

“It’s not forcing. It’s suggesting, Alexander.” Magnus rubbed his eyes and yawned again, rolling onto his side as Alec fit behind him with his arm over Magnus’ waist.

“You do realise that if they find out you did this, they’re actually going to kill you, right?”

“Maybe. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Okay then.” Alec slid down a little to make Magnus comfier. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Anything.”

Alec grinned in Magnus’ ear. “Can I ask why you have a violin hidden under your bed?”

Magnus gasped, turning slightly to look at Alec. “You know about that? How?!” He rolled onto his back, and then onto his other side, now facing Alec.

Alec ran his fingers through Magnus hair, close enough that he could still hear him with his hearing aids on the table next to him. “I’m sorry. I went to find a socket for my phone ages ago and I saw it. I know I should have said something but with everything happening-”

“Alexander, it’s fine. It- it used to be my Mama’s.”

“Really?”

Magnus nodded and looked up, feeling slightly more awake again. His eyes were the brightest thing in the dark room. “Yes. She loved music. She apparently used to sing these Indonesian lullabies to me. Father said so, anyway. Izzy caught me singing one to Max once, such a long time ago. I was in your kitchen and me and Izzy were about to go shopping-” Magnus shook his head slightly. “Anyway- she used to play and then I did until I was first diagnosed. All the symptoms and staying in hospital meant I couldn’t play anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” Alec kissed Magnus’ head. “That must have been really hard for you. But I suppose it’s always there if you wanted to try. I bet you were great at it.”

Magnus smiled proudly. “I used to lead the school orchestra.”

“Wow- that’s- that’s amazing.” Alec bit his lip. “Can I tell you something about me?”

“Are you going to tell me you’re in a band or something-” Magnus whispered, making Alec laugh. “Because that would be really hot.”

Alec chuckled. “No, I’m not in a band.”

“Then what is it?”

“I- I can play the piano.”

“What?” Magnus turned to him. “I thought Jace was the one who played piano?”

“Well, he does- and he’s amazing at it. You have to understand first that when Jace first came to live with us, he was terrified. He had no sense of identity and didn’t know where he was. He- just got chucked in with us- and we love him- but those first few months were hell. He was old enough to know what had happened but was too young to understand. He needed somewhere he could go, and he needed to have time for himself. We didn’t have much space, but Mom didn’t want him in his room on his own, so she made us a fort in mine.” Alec chuckled against the pillow. “He wasn’t interested. He saw my little keyboard in the corner and made that his space.”

Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand in his own. “That’s kind of sweet.”

“It was but I’d been having lessons for a few months. I- wanted to join in but every time I sat down with him or he saw me practising, I could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to be able to play like I could. He had a natural talent, but it was making him worse and he needed something that was just his-”

“Alexander-” Magnus whispered. “You quit just like that? For your brother?”

Alec shook his head. Magnus was a little confused until Alec explained.

“I used to go to the music room during breaks in school. Jace would always be doing some sport activity or another and I used to just plug in headphones and stay in my own little bubble. Izzy always went with the girls somewhere and I didn’t have anyone else I wanted to be around.” He laughed. “So many times, I would open my eyes and realise that there was a class waiting to start. Of course, I never let anyone hear me, but it was still funny. I- I practise when Jace isn’t around. I just sneak into his room and lose myself with my headphones in. Since he started grade one, I’ve followed all his music pieces and even though he’s passed grade eight, I can play his grade seven stuff which isn’t bad-”

“Alexander, that’s amazing. I can’t believe no one knows. I’d love to hear you play.”

“Sure.” Alec licked his lips. “I just want you to understand that I’m not keeping this to myself because I don’t want anyone to know. I’m not even worried about keeping it from Jace. He would love to have someone to duet with but- it’s just something for my quiet time. I’m not interested in doing exams or playing for people.”

“I get that.” Magnus yawned again, making Alec shake his head.

“Right, time for sleep now. That’s enough crazy realisations for one day.”

Magnus turned on his side again and Alec pulled him close, fitting their legs together. “I’ll get my bow strung again, Alexander. We can fall back into it together.”

***

“You’ll never take me alive!” Simon laughed as he ran his character behind a shelter. Bullets were spraying over his head and he had nearly reached his checkpoint. He’d been at this level for hours and had kept being taken back to his last save point.

_ Just a few more- sec-onds. _

“Hey, Si? Can you come here a sec?”

Simon rolled his eyes and laughed at the sound of Clary’s voice, frantically hitting at the buttons. “Can it wait? I’m kind of doing well for myself here.” Clary screwed up her face and was about to pull the TV plug out when Izzy spoke from behind them.

“Simon?”

Simon looked at the screen and back at Izzy’s haunted expression before setting down the controller and turning off the game. He stood up quickly, looking between her and Clary. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“I- I don’t know.” Izzy glanced behind him and Clary pointed to the adjoining kitchen door. Izzy nodded and mouthed ‘thank you’ before Clary blew a kiss to her and went out of the room. “Simon, we need to talk.” Izzy shivered. “This may be one of the most grown up things that either of us has ever had to talk about and you can’t freak out because I’m already freaking out enough for the both of us.”

Simon put his hand on Izzy’s shoulder and gestured for her to sit down on the couch. He sat down next to her and Izzy crossed her arms tighter around her middle. She knew that Simon liked to hold her hands while they talked about things, but she couldn’t risk him seeing the test before she could talk to him. “Okay, Iz, listen. I’m sorry I covered for Jace the other day when he ate your muffin. You- you were upset enough as it was, and I didn’t want to make things worse. Please- please don’t break up with me. I’ll buy you more. A whole pack of them.”

Izzy shook her head and pulled her arms in closer. She’d never understood before why Alec always held his middle when he was stressed. There was something comforting. Like giving yourself a hug. Although Alec didn’t exactly have much need for hiding pregnancy tests. “Simon, I’m not breaking up with you.”

“You’re not? Then what are you doing here this late?”

“Do you remember- “ Izzy spoke as she breathed out. “A while back when we went out to see that funny movie and we ended up going to that Italian place for food?”

Simon raised one eyebrow and Izzy looked away, not meeting his eyes. “Sure, I do. We went back to my house and- my mom and Becky were out for the night. I showed you my music collection and we kissed on the couch.”

Izzy looked up and bit her lip. “And you remember what happened afterwards?”

Simon’s face lit up. “How could I forget? I mean, it was great but if that’s why you’re here this late then Clary kinda might get pissed at us. My van is around the corner and we could go to-”

“No- no. No... Sweet Simon.” Izzy pulled one arm away carefully and placed a hand against his face. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Oh. Sure. That’s fine.” Simon thought for a second and looked back at Izzy again. “Then why are you here this late?”

Izzy’s eyes teared up again as she pulled her hand away. Simon’s boyish glow disappeared in a moment and his face dropped slightly. “Uh, is that?”

“It’s a pregnancy test, Simon.”

Simon took a few deep breaths, standing up and sitting down a few times before he spoke with his arms bend behind his head. “We- we were careful- I- I mean- does- How- What- WHAT?”

“I haven’t looked at it yet.” Simon put his hand over his mouth, moving to crouch down in front of Izzy. Something changed in that split second and the Simon that met her eyes wasn’t the same Simon that she had known moments before. “I just need a second.”

“Of course. Sure- sure. That’s fine.” Simon took Izzy’s hands gently. “You have to know, Iz, I’m- I’m going to stand by you, whatever we find out. I don’t know how this has happened, but I do know that I love you, okay?” Izzy nodded and sat forward, she put her hand against his face and grasped the test in the other. She pressed her lips to Simon’s, softly, and closed her eyes as he wiped a tear from her cheek. “I know you’re scared. I am too. But I’m never going to let anything hurt you, Iz. Whatever is going to happen and however things might change in a few moments, I’m with you.”

“I’m ready, Si. I need to know the answer.”

“Are you sure?” Simon knelt down in front of Izzy, holding onto her hand tightly. The test was upside down in Izzy’s hand. “Breathe, Iz. It’s okay.”

“On three?”

Simon nodded. “Together, okay? One.”

“Two-”

“Three.”

“Three.”

Izzy swallowed and turned the test over in her hand. Simon looked over it and back at Izzy’s face, unable to read her expression as her hand went over her mouth. “What does it say?”    

***

“As? Are you awake?” Asmodeus blinked back through the darkness. He’d been trying to fall asleep for at least an hour, to no success.

“Lil? What are you doing here?”

“I think the heating has gone out and I don’t know how to restart it. What are you doing? I know you won’t sleep if it’s cold.”

Asmodeus’ shook his head in the dark. “The thermostat is in Magnus’ room. I’m not going in there.”

“As- you child.”

“I’m not.”

“Well, okay then. Why didn’t you come into my room if you were cold? You’ve done it before.”

Asmodeus turned over, facing away. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“As, come on. It’s me. What’s bothering you? You’ve been in a funny mood all day.” Asmodeus looked over to the empty side of the bed. He could almost see Aminah staring back at him. He missed her so much and with Magnus coming out of hospital, not only needing emotional support but physical support, Asmodeus just wanted her back. His best friend. His soulmate. The one person he could tell everything and anything to.

“If it’s what I said earlier, then I’m sorry. I know how much you still love her, and you can’t force yourself to be with someone else if that’s not what would make you happy.”

Asmodeus closed his eyes as he sighed. Magnus had left his omamori charm on the kitchen table earlier and Asmodeus had picked it up. He could feel the weight of it against his leg, as it sat in the pocket of his joggers. “I’m not upset with you. I- I just miss her, Lil. She should be here, and she isn’t, and it isn’t fair. I want more time with her. I want Minah back. My girl. People dream about finding someone like that, Lil, and… and I lost her.” Lily looked down. Asmodeus hadn’t called Aminah that in a very long time. “Some days are just harder than others, I guess.” Lily walked around the other side of the bed, sitting down so she could see him properly. Asmodeus’ golden eyes gleamed back, and she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.

“I get it. I know no one could ever replace her in your eyes, As. Some people fall in love once, quite happily. I know it’s tough sometimes but if you’re happy on your own then that’s all she would have wanted. No one ever said everything would be easy, did they?”

Asmodeus rolled onto his back, turning to look at Lily. He knew he was being reckless, but he needed a friend. He hadn’t slept properly in so long. “Will you stay with me? Just for tonight?” Lily sighed and nodded as he lay further down and pulled back the covers. She lay down next to him, putting her arm over his chest and  watching as it rose up and down. He calmed down slightly, and his breathing finally started to even out.

“Magnus has been through so much, As. I don’t- I don’t want him to make assumptions about us. The last thing he needs is confusion surrounding me when he’s only just found out about his mother. I know we’re only friends, but can we please just keep this between us this time?” 

“Sure. I feel the same.” Lily leaned into Asmodeus and her head rested comfortably against his collar bone. She smelled like apple shampoo. “There’s nothing wrong with two friends seeking companionship and there’s nothing wrong with men and women being friends, is there?” He pulled Lily closer, smiling as she wrapped her arms around him, and he felt himself instantly falling asleep. “It doesn’t always end up- that way, does it? I agree about Magnus though. Can’t have the poor boy confused.”

“Certainly not.” Lily yawned, sliding her hand over Asmodeus’ middle.

“Just make sure that we’re up before they are then. No drama. No confused Magnus.”

Lily nodded in agreement, tilting her head up to look at Asmodeus. Her chest moved as she laughed quietly, and he opened his eyes again to look at her. “We could always build a pillow wall.”

***

“Shh. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Izzy sobbed into Simon’s side, the stick dropped to the floor in front of them. Simon didn’t know what else to do other than hold Izzy tightly and tell her he loved her until she had calmed down enough to speak.

“Izzy, I am going to be honest. I am absolutely petrified but we need to decide what happens next.” Izzy sat up, clutching her hands over her mouth. She couldn’t see Simon or hardly make out a word that he was saying. She had woken up that morning as one individual. A unit around her, yes, but she was a single living organism. She was going to go catch a movie with her little brother, maybe go get her nails done; ordinary things that a young woman of nearly seventeen usually did during the summer break from school. Now she was sat there on her best friend’s couch, sobbing into her boyfriend’s arms; no longer one living organism but two living beings.

“Simon, I’m not ready to be a Mom!”

Simon rubbed his face. He felt like he’d aged about twenty years in the last twenty seconds. “Listen. We have options. I know this is hard to talk about but if you don't want to do this, you don’t have to, Izzy. You know that we still have a choice in this right? 

“Give- me a second.” Izzy took a few deep breaths and gasped as reached out for Simon’s hand. “I think- I know what I want to do-but I’m frightened, Simon. Frightened that we aren’t going to agree. I know you and if I say that I want one thing- I know there’s a good chance that you will agree with me whether that’s truly what you want or not. I need you to be honest with me.” She shook his hands.

“Izzy, I don’t think you understand-”

“Simon-”

“No, listen, okay? This is your choice. If- if you wanted to do this- to carry on, then it wouldn’t have any effect on me other than what others will say- and I couldn’t care less about what others might or might not think because you’re all that matters to me.” Simon pleaded with her. “If- you decide to go through with this, then you will be the one carrying it- which means everything that comes with that, emotionally and physically- and you are going to have to be the one who gives birth to it. I am going to step up, Iz and get a better job to support us if it is what you want and know that I love you and I will support you in whatever you decide to do but this is your body and your choice. I need to know that you’re making a choice that you want.”

Izzy nodded. She understood what he meant, even if his opinion was still important. She knew Simon would stay by her side through anything that happened but at the end of the day, he could have chosen to keep out of it. She didn’t have that luxury.

“Simon...I want to have this baby. Our… baby.”

Simon met eyes with Izzy and his frightened expression was replaced with a barely contained smile. His mouth wobbled and he pulled his glasses off, rushing to hug her as he jumped up and down. Izzy couldn’t help but laugh at his expression.

“Then- are we going to do this? Oh-ohmy- this is huge. We’re- we’re going to have a baby?!”

Izzy laughed, nodding at Simon who was quickly becoming ecstatic. “I want to. I mean, yes. We are. I can deal with everything that comes with it, but I couldn’t bear what would follow if we decided not to- my brother can’t have children either and- I couldn’t bear knowing what would happen if we - if he found out. I want to do this, Simon.”

Izzy stood up and Simon hugged her tightly before letting go. His hand brushed over Izzy’s middle, splayed out as he looked down and they grinned at each other, tears running down both of their faces. Simon rushed to grab the footstool for Izzy to sit down, not even aware of what he was doing or why he was doing it. “Oh my- what are our families going to say?”

“I don’t care. They can say what they like. We can do this. We can, Si.” Simon nodded and hugged her again, kneeling down and holding his hands over Izzy’s stomach, brushing with his thumbs and kissing her middle softly.

“We made that?”

Izzy beamed. “We did.” She thought for a moment and lifted Simon’s chin to look up at her. Simon kissed her quickly and held her tight as he rocked them both. “How do you think your mom and sister will react? Your community, Simon- I don’t even know what they teach about this in Judaism.” Simon looked down again, barely able to keep his eyes away. He had told her not that long ago that he was protective of his family. He hadn’t even needed to. She could already see it.

“Well, I’m a reform Jew, not an orthodox, which means we’re not as strict with our practise. Underage sex is frowned upon, but it’s not important. We also believe though that everything is made with a purpose. If this has happened, then that’s part of G-d’s plan for us.”

Izzy smiled. “That’s a nice way of putting it. What about pregnancy? Is there anything you do for that? I know how important your religion is to you.”

Simon chuckled. “There’s a prayer that the father says. We don’t typically talk about it in the community in case- because it’s a bad omen to- but there is something I could say to you- I don’t know if you would want that-”

“Simon! Of course, I would!”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely! Go ahead.” Izzy laughed. “Bless my belly!”

Simon walked over to the mantelpiece where there was a small candle with a star of David etched on it. Simon brought it over to Izzy, his hands shaking with excitement. He handed it to her carefully before lighting it and kneeling in front of her. Izzy smiled and held onto the candle that was resting on her sleeves. Simon brushed his hand over her face before holding his hands up to her, saying something at first in Hebrew that she didn’t understand. It wasn’t normally translated but Simon did his best to make sure that Izzy knew the words that were flowing from his heart. They were a part of him.

“Makor ha-chayyim v'Rofeh ha-cholim. Source of Life and Divine Healer, give blessing and health, safety and ease of childbirth to Isabelle, and to her baby who yet grows within.” Izzy smiled at him. The language was beautiful. Like music notes or flowing water. “May the little one emerge at a sha'ah tovah, a goodly hour, an hour of ripeness and readiness for entering this world in health and in joy. May Isabelle and Simon grow ever closer as they prepare for the blessed experience of becoming parents. May our prayers be signed and sealed. Let us all say, Amen. Siman tov u'mazal tov, y'hei lanu l'chol Yisrael. May it be a good sign for us and all Israel.”

“That’s beautiful. Thank you.” Simon blew out the candle and Izzy passed it to him, watching as he set it back with great care. He came back over and held out his hand, helping Izzy to stand up. His video game controller was on the floor and he pushed it away with his foot, so she didn’t have to step over it.

“We can take this one step at a time, okay? Tell me whatever you need, and I will be there.” He shook her hands. “Day or night, Iz. Now let’s get you something to eat and drink and then you need to rest.”

Izzy clasped Simon’s hand in her own, picking up the test from the floor and smiling at the two blue lines. “I know what we can do next.”

Simon squeezed her hand. “What’s that?”

Izzy turned to look at him and glanced at the kitchen door that was still closed from earlier.

“I know it’s a little step, but it’s a start and we’ve kept her waiting long enough. I suppose-” Izzy paused. “-we better go tell Clary that she’s going to be an aunt.”

***

_ The light reflected from the window as Asmodeus’ eyes flickered open. He glanced over the bed, running his hand down her long black hair. “Good morning, sweetheart.” _

_ Aminah opened her eyes and grinned, her whole face lit up. “Good morning.” She licked her lips as her eyes opened wider, speaking softly. “Is the baby okay?”  _

_ “Shhh.” He brushed his hand down her side; her skin warm against his hand from where her pyjama top rode up. “Everything’s fine. I just checked-” Aminah yawned, stretching her arms and running her hand through her messy hair. Asmodeus reached out his arm, pulling her into him. He kissed her forehead quietly, closing his eyes as she settled against him. “Beautiful Aminah, I love you so much. I have to tell you-” _

_ She tilted her head up to look at him and his breath caught at the sheer colour of her eyes. Slightly almond shaped like his own but a rich golden colour. While she called their son Emas, she was also one of those rare individuals who carried that light around with her. “I love you too. Is- is everything okay?” _

_ He nodded quietly, brushing her hair back. “Everything’s perfect.” There was a tap on the door and they both picked up their heads, Aminah moving so she wasn’t lying over Asmodeus so much. _

_ “Seriously?” Aminah chuckled, sitting up as she laughed, her bright light filling the room. “You couldn’t let your poor Mama and Papa have five minutes peace?” _

_ Magnus laughed back at her, holding up his hand. He was taller than Asmodeus had remembered. Something was different and it took him a moment to register the lack of purple plastic behind Magnus’ ears. That and the scar on the right side of his head. They hadn’t been there for long, but he was surprised at how quickly it had become normal to him. It was just one part that made up a special individual. “Relax. If me and Alec promise to take Honey out straight after, are we allowed to make pancakes for breakfast first?” Aminah turned to her husband. “What do you think, As?” _

_ Asmodeus laughed, pulling Aminah against him. “Oh, I donnn’t knowww. You might be too tired, Magnus-” Asmodeus cracked up as she pulled his face forward. “-we heard a lot of this last night.” They kissed messily as they looked at Magnus, making his face turn bright red. _

_ “Ohmygod, you’re so embarrassing!” They broke apart at the sound of crying and Aminah went to stand up. The three of them argued for a moment, insisting that each of them would go. By the time Asmodeus had said that he was perfectly capable and stopped anyone arguing with him, the crying had stopped, and they watched as Alec strolled in in his pyjamas, Honey following behind as he walked in carrying Magnus’ tiny little sister in his arms. _

The light reflected from the window as Asmodeus’ eyes flickered open. He glanced over the bed, running his hand down her long black hair. “Good morning-”

Lily blinked back at him, and he recoiled backwards. Tears streaked his face as he shot up with his hand over his mouth. “As-”

“I just need a minute, okay-” Lily held up her hand, one leg curled underneath her. “No! Just- just leave me be for a moment.” Asmodeus raced across the room, grabbing his robe from the end of the bed and throwing his arms in the sleeves.

Lily raced after him, trying to keep up. “As! If you won’t tell me what’s the matter, then at least talk to me!”

“I can’t. It’s not fair to him.” Asmodeus raced over to the stairs as he muttered. “I can’t even imagine what must already be going through his head. What- what if he’s not talking to me? What if he’s unhappy? I- I need him to be happy. Who’s going to get him through all this? I have to look after him for her. He has to be okay.”

“As, Magnus is perfectly fine. You’re just panicking. You’re okay.”

Lily darted behind Asmodeus, nearly slipping on the bottom step and skidding into him. He’d stopped racing and Lily followed his line of sight.

It was still very early, just starting to get light. The radio was playing a soft tune in the corner. They looked at each other and back across the kitchen. Honey was sleeping in her basket peacefully and there was stacks of pancakes on the table. That wasn’t what surprised him though. Asmodeus and Magnus had always been early risers. What surprised him was to see Magnus and Alec slow dancing with each other on the kitchen tiles. As they rocked back and forth in time with the music, Alec lifted Magnus’ chin and kissed him gently, bumping their heads together. Magnus smiled at him sweetly, Alec’s hands holding onto his waist. Magnus had rested his head on Alec’s chest, his arms moving to wrap around his neck as they swayed softly. Asmodeus glanced across the kitchen again and Lily held out her hand to comfort him. He laced his fingers between hers and she leaned against him as they smiled at each other. There would always be problems to solve or things to get through, but she was hoping Asmodeus would be able to calm down now. It was plain to see. Whatever happened, Magnus was going to be okay.

***

As Simon’s van pulled up across the street, Izzy glanced towards her house. It was still early, and it was unlikely that anyone would be up, but she didn’t feel completely out of the woods yet. Clary had demanded that Izzy wasn’t sleeping on the couch for the night and had told her and Simon to take the guest room. Izzy and Simon had cuddled up to one another all night, Izzy’s hand over her middle and Simon’s on top as they lay on their sides. It had been the best sleep that Izzy had had in weeks.

Simon and Izzy had agreed on the way that they would keep everything to themselves, just for a little while, before telling everyone else. Izzy knew that Jace would want answers to her spontaneous mission, but Clary had sworn that it wasn’t her secret to tell.

Simon switched off the ignition. The house looked the same. The street looked the same. Even they both looked the same.

There was just one tiny little difference.

“-and I mean literally. You want tacos at 3AM, I’ll climb up to your window. You want me to come over and watch girly movies and eat ice cream with you- I’m your guy! Believe me, I don’t care if I’m a little lanky and your brother kind of terrifies me, if Jace tries to take your muffins again, I will fight him for them-”

“Okay, Simon! Thank you!” Izzy laughed, leaning across the middle of the van to kiss him.

When she had gotten to Clary’s the previous night, she’d arrived in thunder and lightning. Now, as they sat there together, pulled up in the street, bright streaks of colour fell in an arc across the sky. As he kissed Izzy’s cheek, Simon assured her that it could only mean good things were coming. “You’re going to be the best dad, you know that?”

Simon laughed. “That makes me feel old!”

“Ohmygod-”

“What?!”

Izzy put her hands over her mouth. “My Mom is not going to be happy about being a thirty eight year old Grandma.”

Simon chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s crazy- how everything has changed, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Izzy squeezed his hands. “I’m glad I’ve got you though. We’re grown up enough to get through this.”

“You’ll always have me, Iz. Now go on. You need to be back in bed by the time your parents get up. Actually, I demand two weeks of bed rest and bad movies!”

“Bad movies?”

“Or space documentaries. I quite haven’t decided yet.”

Izzy put her hand on the door handle, looking at the rainbow again. ”Will you walk with me?” Simon opened the door and jumped out. He ran around as Izzy pushed her door open, holding out his hand to help her down. “If you’re this crazy now, I can’t imagine what you’ll be like when I have a belly as big as a planet and I’m all crabby because my feet are swollen.”

“You’ll still be beautiful.” Simon took Izzy’s hands and walked her the twenty or so steps to the front door. He wanted to stay with her, but he’d probably need to wait a few hours before coming around again. Izzy bet to herself that it probably wouldn’t even be that long, although he had demanded unnecessarily that he was going straight out to look for a different job. Izzy didn’t doubt him. “Well, this is it.”

“It is,” Simon let go of Izzy’s hand as she stepped up to the front door. “I love you, Si.”

“I love you, too. Both of you.”

After waving goodbye and rushing back once more to kiss Izzy again, Simon had finally gotten into his van and driven off. Izzy opened the front door quietly, but the house was silent. She made her way upstairs, fixing her makeup in the upstairs mirror.

As she stood in the bathroom, the reflection that stared back at Izzy wasn’t the same girl who she had seen the day before. That girl was gone now. A part of her might always be that girl inside but she knew she was never going to be the same. Maybe her life was going to take a different turn? Maybe it wouldn’t be so much about shopping or nice tight dresses or getting her nails done. That didn’t matter anymore. She walked out of the bathroom with her hand on her middle, knowing that in one single night, her life had changed forever. She was okay with that.

She had so much more important things to be taking care of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, SO much for reading <3 This was a tough chapter with a lot of emotion and I honestly love how it turned out. I know this was a bold story line to take but it is going to be very important going forward. As Izzy told her brother, I promise this will all make sense eventually.
> 
> I'm just going to mention here, if anyone was wondering, why when Simon was talking about religion, I used the spelling of G-d. In Judaism practice, one of the commandments is 'Do not worship false idols,' and I felt it was important to take this into consideration.


	32. The Gift of my Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is spending his first night at Alec's since leaving hospital. The day may look like any other but it's going to be very different. Everyone's been hiding their own secrets and in one night, things are discovered that may just change everything forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here we go with another one! Thank you so much for being patient while this was being written. It's been a busy month and I needed to make sure that this was written the correct way. The good news is that the wait is over. Hope you enjoy <3
> 
> //NSFW Warning
> 
> Song for chapter 32:[ Chasing The Sun.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFFberbflbU&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=34&t=0s)

 

Something Magnus had never been able to get used to since leaving hospital was the humming around him that came with sitting in the car. On their last quick ride to guy groceries, Magnus had mentioned it to his father and Asmodeus had told him that it was possible that his other senses had been heightened since he had lost one of them.

He didn’t like it one bit.

Magnus placed his hands on the seat, feeling slightly uneasy about the whole thing. He felt jittery. Nervous. This was the first night that he had spent away from home since coming out of hospital which also meant the first night staying at Alec’s house.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

Magnus glanced over at his father who was gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than ne needed to. Magnus hated being reliant on someone else to take him places but he wouldn’t be able to drive until it had been a year since he had gone into hospital. “Father, I’m fine.” Magnus disguised the nervous shaking in his hands.

“Are you sure? Because if you need me to come and pick you up at any point-”

“Yes, I know. I promise you that I’m fine.” Magnus grumbled as he looked out of the window again. They were only a few streets away.

Asmodeus sighed quietly, looking in his rear view mirror. “Can you ring Lily and remind her that her Jacket is still in the back of my car?”

Magnus turned to his father, creasing his eyes as Asmodeus kept his on the road. “Why can’t you call her?”

“...Because I’m driving.” Asmodeus spoke a little more enthusiastically than usual. “Annd, you have super cool Bluetooth hearing aids that your father paid extra for so you could make calls more easily!” His face went blank again. “Use them.” 

Magnus wasn’t impressed. “You have Bluetooth in the car so why can’t you ring her? And how is her jacket on the back seat anyway?”

Asmodeus paused and thought for a moment. “I don’t know! Ask her why there’s a lipstick… thing… on my bathroom windowsill, a plush rug on my landing or throw cushions on my couch! Damn woman has more stuff at my house than at hers these days!”

“Okay! Okay! Calm down! I don’t even know if she’ll pick up.”

Asmodeus indicated to turn into Alec’s street. “Ring her mobile, not her house phone. She might have taken Honey out.”

“You know Max is going to be mad that Lily is looking after her? He’s probably expecting us to bring her.”

“Please!” Asmodeus held up on hand. “Honey is looking after Lily! My good girl takes care of herself!” Magnus’ eyes widened and Asmodeus swallowed before speaking in a quiet voice. “Please don’t tell Lily I said that...”

Magnus chuckled in amusement but crossed his arms. Asmodeus still hadn’t answered his question.  “That doesn’t explain about the jacket-”

Asmodeus lifted his chin, changing the subject. “That new medication is making you grumpy!” 

“It is not.” Magnus scowled as he flexed his fingers and moved in his seat.

“It is. And fidgety.”

Magnus gave in, holding up his hand for Asmodeus to stop the car. “Fine. I’ll ring her but you aren’t allowed to drop me outside the door. Four lamp posts away so I can walk.”

“One.”

“Two.” Asmodeus agreed, pulling the car to a stop while Magnus tapped his phone with a calm expression. He’d been fine with one, but he knew his way around coaxing his father by now. Asmodeus stretched behind himself, between the two front seats, and grabbed Magnus’ crutch from the back. He didn’t like using it but his balance and left sided weakness were still an issue and probably would for a good while yet. He could go for longer without it, but it was better than risking a fall and hurting himself. Especially because steps and curbs were still proving a problem. Asmodeus had reassured him that he actually had more freedom if he used it and Magnus had given in once Asmodeus had surprised him with a purple one that looked more stylish and slightly less clinical.

A few days previously, Asmodeus had been given the number of someone that Catarina knew who specialised in hair cutting for various patients. She has been in the neighbourhood to cut the hair of a little girl with autism and Magnus had been encouraged to let her come over. She had been calm and pleasant to be around. Nothing like Magnus had expected. She hadn’t pushed him or been invasive in any way and the end result had been amazing. Magnus’ hair was back to its usual short style, him no longer wanting to hide the scars on his head or his hearing aids, and it had greatly lifted his mood. He was actually looking forward to showing Alec.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up just after lunch time tomorrow. That woman is coming around to assess you and Honey so make sure you’re ready when I pick you up.

Magnus pushed the door open and grabbed his backpack from the floor. “Yes, Father.”

“And no tiring yourself out. Maryse will be keeping an eye on you.”

“Yes, Father.”

Magnus climbed out of the car slowly, holding his crutch in one hand so he could close the door with the other. As he went to do so, Asmodeus leaned over and shouted. “Wait, tell Lily I said ‘hi!’” Magnus laughed and nodded as he closed the door. Asmodeus waved and beeped the horn, pulling the car off the pavement as Magnus dialled Lily’s number with one hand and put his phone into his top pocket.

“Hey, Lils.”

“Nellie! What’s up?”

Magnus groaned as he walked slowly. “Lily, I am eighteen in three weeks. I am no longer a baby elephant.”

There was a pause and Magnus could practically hear Lily smirking. “...You’ll always be my baby elephant!”

“Ugh!” Magnus laughed, slowly stepping over a can on the floor. “Can we get this over with without you teasing me? Father wanted me to tell you your jacket is in our car.”

“Your dad knows I left it there. He told me yesterday. He’s just making you ring me because he thinks you’re more likely to tell me if you’re worrying about spending the night away.”

“Oh, are you serious?! You mean I could be at Alec’s right now and instead, I’m leaning against a lamp post and having this pointless conversation?”

Lily chuckled and Magnus could tell from the way she was speaking with her tongue out that she was painting her nails. “Wow, your dad was right. You are grumpy.”

“I’m not. I just want to see Alec and who knows how that will go because I still haven’t figured out that funny vibe between us and it’s starting to drive me insane.”

“Interesting.” Lily chuckled again. “You have no idea what’s causing it?”

“Not a clue.” Magnus shook his head. “All I know is that last week, Alec couldn’t stay over. This past week he had a cold and couldn’t go out much because of his immunity or something and now we’ve resorted to these childish games of winding each other up all the time, which I totally do not understand.”

“Oh, Magnus. You’ll get there eventually.”

Magnus stopped walking for a moment, adjusting his bag on his back. “Do you know what it is?”

“I have my ideas.”

“Great. Super helpful. Well, I’m at Alec’s house now so I’ll ring you tomorrow or something.”

“Bye, sweetheart! Have fuuun!”

Magnus waited to hear the familiar beep of the phone disconnecting before glancing up at the house. They’d needed to go a different way today because of an accident on the main road. Magnus smiled up, watching as Alec leaned on his elbows in his bedroom window. He was facing the other direction with his head down, either looking mildly bored or sad about something. It took a second for Magnus to catch the corner of his eye but when he did, Alec’s head shot up and he disappeared from the window. Magnus stepped onto the drive and picked his head up. Alec was usually so composed but he found himself surprised to be able to hear him thunder down the stairs, audible even with the door shut. As Alec burst through the front door, Magnus slid his bag from his shoulders, dropping both that and his crutch as him and Alec ran into each other’s arms.

Magnus spoke in between kisses, trying to keep his balance. “I’ve missed- you- so much.” 

Alec nodded quickly, his eyes tearing up as they grabbed at each other’s faces. “I’m sorry. I promised- I wouldn’t ever- leave you and we’ve hardly seen- each other.”

Magnus could have burst into tears right then, hugging tightly around Alec’s neck as Alec’s arms slid down his back. He felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach that he’d missed so much lately. He hoped that everything would be sorted now. Maybe a little time apart had been all they had needed to remind each other how much they loved one another. “I love you, Alexander. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Magnus. I should have been there for you-”

“It’s already forgotten.” Magnus shook his head. “We’re together now and that’s all that matters.” Alec kissed him again and something in Magnus’ stomach flipped. They both moaned slightly, crashing their lips and tongues over and over again, held tighter together than should have physically been possible.

Alec pulled his head back for an agonising second as he spoke, desperate to make his point clear. “I’ll make it up to you, Magnus. Somehow. Anything you want.”

Magnus jumped up against Alec and he leaned down, allowing Magnus to wrap his legs around his waist. Both of their faces went warm as they kissed desperately, realising what a scene they were probably, definitely, making on the front drive. Alec half walked, half ran into the house, carrying Magnus as they kissed happily and grinned. There was only one thing that Magnus wanted right then and that was Alec.

***

“Okay. So, Iz, that didn’t go as horrifically bad as I thought it would. I mean, she’s pretty angry- at both- both of us but-”

Izzy glanced over to Simon, thankful that she was nearly home. She was exhausted and just wanted to chuck on her comfy pyjamas and have a warm bath but not everything was going to be as simple as that. They were on their way back from Simon’s house. A week had passed and the day before, both Izzy and Simon had made the agreement that they couldn’t keep their information to themselves any more. Elaine and Becky had come back from their trip a week early at Simon’s pleading request, but they had never expected to hear what they had been told. Elaine had been upset but hadn’t shouted like Izzy had worried she would. She had just quietly taken herself away to process and be with her G-d and Simon had asked Becky to keep an eye on her. 

Izzy smiled down at the ground. Becky had been so supportive and kind to her, despite not knowing her for very long, and had offered for Izzy to come and talk to her whenever she needed to. “Do you think this is a good idea, Simon? Telling my mom when my dad is out for the night with work? Should we just wait until he’s home or-”

Simon shook his head as he held tightly onto Izzy’s hand. The house was just coming into view around the corner. “I mean- we absolutely can if you want but it might be better-”

“To tell them one at a time.”

Simon patted Izzy’s hand in his own. “We can explain how committed we are to this. And to each other. It’s a gift. Unexpected, yes. But a gift nonetheless We can tell them how much effort we’re putting in. About my job interviews, what you’ve decided about staying in school for as long as you can. How we’ve spent this whole past week researching in the library and online. Yes, it’s going to be hard hitting but we have to be responsible like you said. It’s time to be grown up about it.”

Izzy let out a shaky breath. “I know. It’s just- huge. You’re right though. It’s time I went to the doctor and got checked-” Izzy stopped walking and their hands pulled between them as Simon continued walking

“Iz? What is it?” Simon stopped and followed Izzy’s line of sight. They glanced at each other and raced the rest of the way to the house. Magnus’ stuff was scattered on the ground and Simon picked up his crutch, placing his hand on the top. “This is Magnus’ stuff. What happened?”

“I don’t know. Pass his bag.”

Together, the two of them raced down the driveway. The door was on the latch and Simon’s heart jumped in his throat as Izzy pushed the front door open. She laughed softly, confusing Simon as she just said to come in so they could talk in the kitchen.

“Is everything okay?” Simon stepped over the door frame as Izzy pushed it open. They glanced at each other again and walked quickly. Just slightly further down the hallway, Alec was holding Magnus up against the wall. His legs were wrapped tightly around Alec’s waist and they were passionately kissing in a heated embrace. Simon’s cheeks went slightly pink as he followed Izzy, placing Magnus’ stuff down by the door.

“Iz, are they okay?” He sat down at the kitchen table as Izzy went to make a couple of drinks.

“They’re great. Why?”

“It’s just that-” There was a moan from the hallway and Izzy pulled the door shut quietly. “Clary said she went to Magnus’ last week to get Honey on her way here and she said that they were fighting over something totally stupid. She said they were making a cake and arguing over instructions or something and were practically shoving each other. Should we be concerned?”

Izzy laughed loudly, carrying two cups over. “Nothing to worry about. Keep this between us but Jace thinks that they haven’t had any action together since Magnus went into hospital and they haven’t figured it out yet. I know it’s not really our business, and I told Jace that, but Alec said that they weren’t communicating very well and there was this…” Izzy gestured as she took a sip of her drink. “-vibe going on. Well, it doesn’t take a genius to guess but the only reason they’ve not been talking that much is that when they’re together, they literally can’t keep their mouths off each other.”

“Oh.” Simon’s eyes went wide.

“Yes. Oh.” Izzy shook her head. “We’re wondering how long it takes them to figure it out.”

***

Magnus breathed heavily against Alec’s mouth, leaning into him as he stood against him, pinning Alec’s arms up behind his head. Alec’s knees weakened as Magnus kissed under his jaw, sighing into the feel of being close to him again after so long. Warmth rushed through Alec's face as Magnus kissed at his neck, running his hands all over Alec’s back and pulling them together. Alec grinned with a wicked sparkle in his eyes, breaking away and pushing Magnus gently against the wall on the other side of the hall. Their lips made smacking sounds as they both breathed heavily, sharing the same breaths as Magnus’ hands squeezed at Alec’s butt.

Alec’s speech was muffled as Magnus' tongue moved against his own. “Your hand is much better…”

Magnus grinned against his mouth. “You haven’t seen anything yet.” Alec’s eyebrows perked up. “It’s actually your fault for sending me that picture of you at the gym yesterday when you could have been at my house.

Alec shook his head. “It was too late to come over. You’re just lucky I managed to get Max to stay at his friends for the night. This is driving me insane now.”

Magnus slid his hands up the front of Alec’s shirt, smoothing his hands over Alec’s toned middle. He brought his hands down Alec's sides, making him shiver before bringing them around again and sliding them up his chest. He’d completely forgotten how good this felt. To be so close to one another after so long. Magnus shoved Alec, so his back hit the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. Alec groaned, putting his hands behind his head as Magnus pulled Alec’s shirt up and kissed his stomach.

“Magnus-” He shivered as he felt Magnus’ lips move down, barely above his belt buckle, before his tongue brushed over the smooth muscle. “-maybe this isn’t a good idea in the hallway.”

Magnus lifted his head up, clashing his lips against Alec’s again. Alec’s hands automatically went to Magnus’ waist, brushing up his sides. Magnus could feel the heat in his face and wished that they were anywhere else. He pulled his lips away and Alec looked like someone had hit him. Magnus bit his lip, cupping the side of Alec’s face. Alec kissed his palm with his eyes closed. Magnus lent their foreheads together and whispered in a low voice that he knew always drove Alec wild. “Why? When you could have all this?” He moved forward, grinding his hips against Alec’s. Alec gasped as his eyes went wide. “If we’re not sleeping together yet then I’m getting whatever I can.”

Alec grabbed Magnus by his shirt, pushing him roughly against the other wall with long drawn out kisses, letting his hands wander freely. “Oh, I want you. So badly. You have no idea.”

Magnus nodded in agreement, panting as he put his arms around Alec’s neck. “I don’t think anyone knows I’m here yet. If we’re quiet, we could go to your room-”

Both Alec and Magnus eyes went wide as the living room door opened next to them. With them still tightly fit together, both of their faces went red, blinking back at Alec’s mother. She gritted her teeth slightly, not sure if she was sorrier that she had ruined their fun after so long apart or the fact that she had interrupted them in yet another heated make out session. She was suddenly quite thankful that her youngest would be away for the night if this was how the two of them were acting before Magnus had even gotten in the house.

“Sorry.” Maryse coughed and cleared her throat a little. Alec had his arms around Magnus’ middle, half holding him up, but Alec had a look of wonder on his face, a look that said that Magnus was the only thing in the world that existed. Her heart panged as Magnus met Alec’s eyes and brushed his face with his thumb. A moment passed and Maryse and Magnus spoke very formally to one another, her trying not to laugh as he tried to tuck his shirt back into his pants.  Alec was looking at the floor, brushing his messy hair back across his head. “How’s your hand doing, Magnus?” Magnus flexed his left hand in front of him as Maryse tried not to laugh. She’d regretted it as soon as she had said it and Alec looked like he wanted to go fall in a hole somewhere.

“Not perfect but better. Sorry- I’m just feeling a bit tired a second. Can I go sit down somewhere a moment?” 

“Sure, sweetheart. You two have to take care of yourselves, remember?” Alec rushed back over with Magnus’ stuff, trying to remember if he was the one who had carried it in earlier. He put Magnus’ bag over the railings of the stairs and passed his crutch to him, their hands brushing softly as he did so. “Dinner won’t be very long if the two of you wouldn’t mind setting the table in a bit.” Both of the boys nodded, and Alec took Magnus’ free hand. They spoke quietly as they went into the living room together, talking about Honey and various other things. Maryse smiled at them, watching quietly as Magnus laughed and leaned into Alec’s side for support. She was so glad in that moment that the two of them had found each other.

Sighing contentedly, she walked over to the kitchen and pushed open the door, surprised to see Simon and Izzy sitting at the kitchen table and blinking back at her.

“Simon! I didn’t know you were here!” Simon swallowed nervously. “I was just sorting out food if you’d like to join us?”

***

Jace sighed as he put the jug of water down on the dinner table. Izzy and Simon were patiently waiting, trying to ignore Alec and Magnus who were rubbing noses and ignoring everyone else.

“Oh, Mom. Do we really have to eat with these two making eyes at each other all the time?” 

Maryse laughed as Jace helped her to set the food down. It wasn’t much but the kids had never been picky. Nuggets and fries for all of the kids and vegetarian ones for Simon.  “Jace, leave them alone.”

“And How was I supposed to know that Simon and Magnus would be here? I could have asked Clary over.”

Alec pulled his face away from Magnus for a second and rolled his eyes. “Oh, so it’s okay when it’s you and Clary!”

“Me and Clary have more self-control than the two of you!”

“Boys, that’s enough!” Maryse set down the tray of fries and Jace went to his seat. “Right, one more thing to get but start helping yourselves.”

By the time Maryse had come back with the final bowl, everyone was chatting happily and helping themselves. Alec was helping Magnus to scoop fries onto his plate when she set the last dish down in front of them. Both of them laughed and everyone else looked at them, wondering what could possibly be so funny about a large bowl full of peas.

Maryse sat down, using a cloth to pass a plate to Simon. “Okayy… would you two mind explaining what this is about?”

“No, no!” Magnus cracked up as Alec tried to quickly scoop peas on his plate. “I don’t want them, Alec! Not again!”

Alec chuckled as he did it, nearly dropping half of them. “They’re good for you!”

“Alec!” Magnus clutched his sides as he laughed. “No!”

Everyone else looked at each other before the two of them actually remembered that there were others around them.

“Okay so last week-” Alec snorted into his hand.

“No- no. I’ll tell them. Okay, so when Alec was over-” Both of them broke into fits of giggles and neither of them could get a word out. Alec brushed a tear from his eye.

“Oh, just show them!”

Everyone looked at each other in confusion as Magnus stuck his spoon into the peas on his plate, using his fork in his right hand to push them on. Alec collapsed over the table laughing as Magnus tried to bring the spoon to his mouth. What they’d learnt the week before was that Magnus’ left hand sometimes twitched as he brought things to his mouth. Anything that couldn’t be held in his right hand or stabbed on a fork would get thrown across the room. Magnus cackled, issuing apologies as the peas on his spoon clattered over the carpet.

“Okay, very funny, but you two are picking them up later. It’s a shame Honey isn’t here. She’d vacuum them up.”

Magnus waved his fork as everyone finished grabbing what they wanted. “Oh, that reminds me, Alec. I forgot to tell you. That woman is coming tomorrow to assess Honey if you want to come.”

Alec clapped excitedly. “Oh, is that tomorrow!? Wouldn’t miss it!”

Jace stuffed a whole nugget into his mouth. “What’s this about?” Magnus answered him as he picked up some of his fries.

“Okay, so remember when I said about Honey being trained up? The woman is coming to see how she works with me and her obedience level, how quick she can learn. Basic things like that. If she thinks she’s a good candidate, Honey will start weekly classes. If she gets through those okay, she has to stay with them for a month and then she’ll have a passing out ceremony in a years’ time with some final tests that I’ll have to come in for, and then she’ll get her certificate and harness and then she’ll be qualified.”

Izzy smiled. “That’s amazing. I wonder how she’ll do with it all.”

“She’s been doing better with her basic commands so we’re hopeful, aren’t we? I think she’ll do great, won’t she, Alexander? But it will be hard when she’s away.”

“We’re also going to see about her being trained to do other things. The charity who train the dogs love it when they can do other stuff because it keeps their minds active. We’re going to ask if she can be taught to bring the phone or alert Magnus to get the door if he doesn’t want to wear his hearing aids, like in the morning and evening and things. Just a bit of extra security as well.”

Magnus wrung his hands and Alec placed his gently on top to calm him. “Honestly, I’m a little nervous about the whole thing.”

“You’ll be great with her. I can see it.” Alec smiled as he looked down, making Magnus blush. “I’m so proud of them both.” The conversation shifted slightly, Jace asking Izzy and Simon about what teachers they thought they were going to get for the next year of school. He hadn’t told his siblings yet but him and Clary had decided to stay on for an extra year and they were both very excited about it.

Alec’s hand rested on his knee as they listened to the conversation. Maryse started going on about Robert’s job and how he was going to try and get a promotion. This followed with a long story of Maryse explaining about a few weeks back when she couldn’t find Honey and she turned out to be sleeping in the bottom drawer in the computer room. The story that could have been told in a few sentences changed to something else and all of the children tried to look interested. Magnus yawned and shifted slightly, and Alec smiled down as Magnus subtly reached under the table and moved his hand to link their fingers together. This meant that Magnus only had his right hand free to eat with, but he didn’t seem to mind. Alec’s eyes widened as he tried not to smirk. He didn’t know what Magnus was up to, but it seemed like they were entering another one of their competitive games of winding each other up. He wouldn’t complain at all, but it wasn’t the best idea while at the dinner table with his family. Alec moved slightly as Magnus talked to Maryse about Max’s room being redecorated. It had been time for him to have a slightly more grown up room and Magnus told her that his dad a few tins of paint that hadn’t been opened if Max wanted to pick one of the colours. Alec tried to nod along and glanced to Magnus who had an impeccably straight face as he ran his hand over Alec’s inside leg. He coughed slightly as Magnus’ hand wandered into dangerously sensitive territory and he jumped up, claiming that he needed to use the bathroom.

“Everything, okay?” Magnus smirked as Alec walked around the table, looking very hot and bothered.

“Fine. Just a little uncomfortable. I’m going to loosen my belt a little.”

Everyone else went back to eating and a minute later, Magnus’ phone buzzed from in front of him. One of his fries fell from his mouth and as he froze with wide eyes, his phone still in his hand under the table. Alec walked back in and sat back down with a grin, fiddling with his belt.

He leaned over to Magnus, offering him the tray of nuggets.

“Still hungry?”

***

Jace was about half way through his bowl of ice cream when he looked across the couch. He rolled his eyes, sighing as he chucked his spoon down. He reached across the arm of the couch, grabbing the remote and turning the volume up on the TV. Him and Alec had been waiting for months for another new episode of their TV show and now he wasn’t even watching it. Jace had explicitly told him that if he didn’t keep cutting his focus and grinning at Magnus who was lying next to him then he would lose what was happening.

Jace pushed Alec’s feet away from his lap for the fourth time and looked across the couch again. Alec had one arm over Magnus’ middle, and they were rubbing noses. Jace could deal with that but when Alec shifted to lie over him, still grinning, Jace was starting to question how much his show actually meant to him. The DVR was currently full of recordings, but he didn’t really want to have to watch it online. When he looked back a third time, Alec had Magnus’ face in his hands and while he respected his brother was happy, they were kissing a little more sloppily than he would like to stick around to witness.

“Okay, guys, seriously? Can’t you like… take it upstairs or something?” Both of them continued to ignore him and Jace turned the volume up again. Magnus flipped them over and Jace’s face went warm as things got more heated and he nearly got pushed off the arm of the chair that he was perched on. He then decided that the show no longer mattered, and he had to get out of there as quickly as he could. He jumped over the arm of the couch, gathering his things and leaving to watch his show on his phone in the kitchen.

“Hi, sweetie. Is your show finished yet?” Jace shook his head as he walked in to find his mother still washing up. “I told you not to set your expectations so high. Sometimes these adaptations-”

“No- no. It’s not that-” Jace pulled one of the chairs out and chucked his phone on the table before sitting down quietly. “It’s not the show I don’t want to watch, it’s the one that my brother and his boyfriend are currently putting on, on our living room couch.”

“Oh.” Maryse grabbed one of the dish towels from the side and threw it at Jace. He caught it elegantly and joined her to help dry up at the sink. “I think it’s sweet how crazy they are for each other.”

Jace scoffed, feeling slightly appalled as he picked up a spoon. “Well, they can be crazy about one another upstairs. I have a girlfriend and Izzy has a boyfriend but at least us lot have more decorum than that.”

“How’s everything with you and Clary, anyway? You been out much?”

Jace picked up on of the dishes, shaking some of the suds off. “Everything’s great. She’s kind of kept to herself this week but she’s been busy with her painting. She likes making pictures for birthdays and a load of us have them coming up, so it’s been keeping her busy. She texted me to say that she’s coming over later to pick Simon up, although I don't know why because I saw his mother’s car go past earlier but who knows.”

“That’s nice of her, anyway. Her birthday is in a few months. Any idea of what you want to get-” Maryse was interrupted as Simon and Izzy walked in holding hands. They obviously hadn’t expected to see Jace there because of Izzy’s startled look. Jace tended to keep to himself about his mother/son washing up one-on-one talks.

Jace finished drying one of the glasses and passed it to Maryse. “Can we help you? You two look like you’ve committed a crime. I was just vouching that not everyone in this house is mushy and you’re seriously not helping my cause-”

“Jace-” Izzy put her other hand over Simon’s and he squeezed it gently. “Can we please just talk with Mom?”

Jace threw up his hands and chucked his dish towel on the side while Maryse patted him gently on the shoulder and said they could carry on speaking later. Since Alec had been ill, she had really been making an effort to make time for all of her children, but she could see how worried Isabelle looked and knew that was where she was most needed in that moment. As she was about to apologise, Jace’s phone buzzed on the table and he wandered off with it as if nothing had even happened.

***

“Okay, what’s all this about? Is everything okay?” Izzy bit her lip as she moved around the table. She pulled the chair out that was opposite Maryse and sat down quietly. Simon pulled his own out with one hand, the other still linked with Izzy’s. He nodded to her as Maryse watched in confusion. Izzy’s hands were shaking while Simon whispered quietly that she was fine. “Okay, the two of you are scaring me. Would you mind telling me what’s going on?”

Izzy took a deep breath, letting go of Simon’s hand. She placed her elbows on the table, immediately tearing up as she rubbed her head. “Mom, you have to promise not to flip out. We will get if you’re mad ,and you have every right to be, but we’ve talked about this and you need to know-” Izzy trailed off and looked down. She had no idea how she was going to get through these next few minutes. Simon was usually the less spoken of the two but as he could see Maryse becoming increasingly frightened, as well as Izzy, he knew then that it was his responsibility to speak up.

“Umm...Maryse?”

“Yes? What’s going on?! What’s happened?!”

Simon spoke on a shaky breath, placing his hand on Izzy’s knee to comfort her. “Izzy’s pregnant.”

Maryse threw her head back as she laughed and wiped her eyes. “Oh! Don’t do that to your old Mom-Why- why- why aren’t the two of you laughing?” She paused and looked at the two of them, watching as they glanced at one another. Simon was running his thumb along one of the grooves in the table, not meeting anyone’s eyes. Izzy sniffled and Maryse put her hand over her mouth. She tilted her head back as her heart raced and her hands shook. She spoke with what her children referred to as her ‘Scary calm’ voice and got up from her seat. “Can you excuse me for just a moment?”

Maryse walked out of the kitchen, closing the door behind her quietly. There was no reason to start panicking yet but found her heart pounding anyway. Her mind turned over with all of the possibilities. There was obviously some explanation to be had.

She walked over to the TV area and rubbed her eyes. Both Magnus and Alec had their shirts off and were eagerly moving against one another, both of them moaning quietly as their mouths clashed together.

“Boys-” There were quiet mutters from the couch. Magnus giggled quietly and bit his lip as Alec kissed under his jaw. “Boys-” Alec sighed against Magnus’ mouth as Magnus’ hands went up his back and to the back of his head to push him closer. Magnus moved his head for Alec to kiss his neck again. As he did so, Magnus glanced over Alec’s shoulder, his eyes opening wide as he pushed Alec back. Alec landed with an ‘oomph!’ on the floor but was otherwise unhurt. He did a double take, looking behind himself and realising that Maryse was standing there with her arms crossed. He scrambled with a red face, searching for and grabbing his shirt, putting it on inside out. Never one for embarrassment, Magnus put his arm behind his head.

“Everything okay?” He spoke coolly as Alec’s heart raced from where he sat on the floor. He would be getting some teasing for that later and he knew it.

“I- do the two of you mind taking this upstairs? It’s just-”

Alec crossed his arms, demonstrating a bit of teenage defiance. “What difference does it make? You make us leave the door open anyway.”

Maryse rubbed her temples before throwing up her arms. “You know what?! I have more pressing things to be dealing with the two of you right now. I don’t care any longer! I’d rather the two of you be getting on with what you’re doing upstairs than staying down here and me having to witness it!”

Alec sat back on his hands. “You serious?”

“Of course! I’m- Just go, okay?”

Both of the young men failed at hiding their grins as Alec reached to pull Magnus up. Magnus looked around, remembering that his crutch was by the front door. Alec gestured him forward with his fingers and Maryse rolled her eyes as she stepped back to let them past. Alec scooped Magnus up, both of them laughing as Alec walked hastily with Magnus’ arms around his neck. They stopped for a moment by the door and Alec set Magnus down so he could adjust his grip before carrying him up the stairs. As Alec pulled his shirt down, Magnus stood up straight, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck and parting his lips. Alec pushed him against the wall with a bump as they moaned and got carried away again and Maryse cleared her throat. Finally, as they both laughed and blushed, Alec put Magnus’ arm over his shoulder and together, the two of them went up the stairs.

***

“Simon, I’m scared.”

Simon pushed his glasses up his nose as he tried to offer Izzy comforting words butt the end of the day, nothing was going to change what had happened. They counted down the seconds until Maryse returned, closing the door after her. The two of them had been looking out of the window quietly, the street looking the same as it always had although much darker than it had been earlier. Simon thought to himself as he rubbed circles into Izzy’s hand, wondering about what was about to happen.

“The two of you, sit down. Now.” Izzy and Simon moved across the room quietly, sitting down as they had done before. Maryse spoke calmly which unnerved Isabelle and comforted Simon at the same time. “Right. This is fine. There’s no reason to start getting worried. I don’t know what is going on here, but have you taken a test?” Izzy looked up at her mother without directly meeting her eyes. She nodded slowly and Maryse took a deep breath. “Okay well, that still doesn’t- Sometimes- tests can throw false-” Maryse stopped as Izzy reached into the pocket of her hoodie. Her lip wobbled as she slid three sticks over to Maryse, each with two lines across it. She took a few breaths as she glanced over them, still not quite believing what was happening. “How- how long have you known?”

“A week…”

“A week?!” Maryse’s eyes went wide and her hand shook as she put it over her mouth. “What-”

Everyone paused as a loud slamming sound came from upstairs. Maryse sighed and looked like she wanted to hit her head multiple times against a wall.

Simon cleared his throat. “We just told my mom. She umm...she’s upset but she- she understands. That- that by no means implies that- that you have to be okay with it, of course but- we- we take responsibility for that.”

“I- How-” Maryse swallowed before rubbing her eye. “I guess it does explain why Izzy’s been sick. It never really crossed my mind. I didn’t think-”

“That’s not actually morning sickness.” Izzy surprised her mother as she spoke. “It was actually my body adjusting, doubled up with stress. Morning sickness doesn’t start until at least six-” Maryse looked at her daughter and Izzy went quiet. They’d chosen to tell Maryse first because she was so calm, but Simon was more than a little nervous at the fact that she hadn’t even raised her voice at either of them.

“Mom… we umm. We want to have this baby. We’ve talked about it and-”

“Oh, Isabelle,” Maryse groaned. “You can’t be serious? What would your father say? Your brothers? Parents from school? How would you even carry on with school? The strain that it would take on you- emotionally and physically. It’s- it’s just not going to be possible. I know what you’ll-”

“No, Mom. I know what you are going to say. I love you and I respect you, but this is our-”

“No! You listen to me! Izzy- you’re not even seventeen for a few months- how- You haven’t even known each other that long! You are too young to be putting yourselves through this. How would you afford it? Do you understand how much it costs to raise a child?! It’s life! You- you can’t just hand them back. That would- No. You can’t do this. Have you even thought about this!”

“We have! It’s all we’ve thought about since we found out!”

Maryse put her hands flat on the table, trying to ignore the laughter from upstairs. “Don’t you dare raise your voice at me!”

Izzy recoiled, speaking as her chest rose up and down. She gritted her teeth as she wiped her eye with her sleeve. “We have thought about it...I have savings and my money from years of babysitting. Simon has his money from his bar mitzvah and his money from work. There is no- I can’t not have it, Mom. Whatever has happened, this life- we created it between us. It will be difficult, but we can make it work-”

“This- this is mad! Your brother has only just come out of hospital- I can’t- I need a second.” Maryse went silent for a moment and closed her eyes before opening them again. “You are clearly not old enough or responsible enough to raise a baby! How could you allow this to happen?!

“It wasn’t our fault! Sometimes accidents happen!”

“Oh, so that’s what you want to tell this baby when they grow up?! That they were an accident?!”

“You were young when you had Alec! What did you say last week? You said you never regretted having any of us! How is it okay that you could go through it and I can’t?! Mama,” Izzy reached across the table as tears ran down her face. Maryse didn’t move to catch her hand and Izzy sat back. “Mama, we can do this. You proved that there’s nothing wrong with being a young parent. You didn’t care what others thought of you and neither do we. We are fully committed to this. Have you noticed that I didn’t share your sushi with you last week? Or that I haven’t been drinking coffee like I usually do? What about when I bought all those healthy foods home and told you that me and Clary were starting a summer health kick? Everything I have or haven’t done this week has been because of hours worth of researching. We want to do this, Mama. And we want you to be a part of it.”

While Maryse wanted to shout at them both, she could see how distressed Isabelle was becoming and it wouldn’t help any of them. It didn’t help that the ceiling was creaking and she couldn’t even think clearly. “Okay, ssssh. It’s okay.”

“Mama, please. You have to trust me.” Fresh tears ran down Izzy’s face. “I’m going to be the best Mom you could ask for.”

“What about Simon? You can’t just ask him to give up his life. You haven’t known one another for that long. Even if this seems like a good idea now, what about the future? Would you stay together? Stay friends? Some adults can’t even stay together once a baby comes into the equation-”

“Maryse.” Simon spoke up. “I can assure you that I’m not going anywhere. I’m not just saying that. I mean it. I love your daughter and I’m going to make sure that she’s looked after. That they both are. I will do absolutely everything within my power.”

Maryse stood up, she needed a cup of coffee. She offered Simon and Isabelle but they both declined. “If you are both absolutely sure then-” She stopped again as Alec shouted angrily from upstairs. They couldn’t make out what it was about, but she heard Jace’s name and more than a few swear words.

Simon lifted his head up. “We are. We umm… we want to wait a while before telling anyone else. Keep it quiet while we process this. Is that okay? Would- would that be a problem?”

“I suppose not. If you absolutely want to keep it a secret, then I will. It’s not for me to say.” Simon and Izzy smiled at one another. “But- you have one week to tell your father, Isabelle. He needs to know, and Izzy is as much as his as she is mine. Everyone else can wait but that’s the longest I will keep it from him. I don’t even know what you’re going to do about school. Once our family knows then they’ll have to be informed. You realise this is going to spread like wildfire? People weren’t particularly kind of me when-”

“We understand. We want to stay in school for as long as we can. This isn’t a hasty decision. We’ve spent the whole week researching and making decisions. It’s compulsory that we both finish school but I know someone who is looking to hire in the computer shop in town so I can work weekends. The pay is much better. Izzy’s entitled to eighteen weeks of absence and I can have up to ten days depending on my school record.”

“That’s good.” Maryse signed as she sat down. “I suppose you have looked into this...What else did you find out?”

Simon looked at Izzy and took her hand. “A lot of things. It can take around fifteen days for implantation to be completed so we think Izzy might be three weeks along. A baby’s heart starts beating at eighteen days so… That means iit already has a heartbeat.” Simon played with the cuff of his sleeve.

“Iz, come here.” Izzy walked over to her mother and Maryse sniffled. She touched the front of Izzy’s hoodie and stood up to hug her gently. “I’m just so scared for you, sweetheart. We’ll help out though. I want to offer you the same love that was given to me. You do understand that by me helping out, doesn’t mean I’m happy with the two of you-”

“We respect that.”

“And you understand what this will mean? The responsibility? Despite everything that you’ll gain, do you understand what you’ll be giving up?”

“We do. We just might need a little help- We understand if-”

“Of course, we’ll all help out. You have to realise how fortunate you are. Not all young people in your position would be treated the same by their family-”

“We know, Mama. Thank you.”

“Simon, come here.” Simon got up from his chair and walked over. Maryse wrapped her arms around them and hugged them both tightly as she sniffled and whispered quietly and laughed. “Guuuys, I’m too young to be a grandmother!”

***

Both Alec and Magnus panted as they reached the top of the stairs. A split second later, they were clashing together, getting a hold on each other wherever they could. Magnus pushed Alec into the wall with a bump as they kissed messily, all common sense long gone out the window. He groaned loudly as Alec kissed under his Jaw, running his hands over Alec’s chest. With a throaty laugh, he pulled Alec’s shirt over his head and threw it into his room across the hall. They glanced at each other for a second, laughing as Magnus jumped up to wrap his legs around Alec’s waist and claw at the back of his neck. Without any hesitation, Alec ran across the hall, throwing Magnus down on the bed. He leaned over him, both of them moaning as Alec pinned Magnus’ arms behind his head. He climbed over him, grinding their hips together and Making Magnus gasp in his ear in surprise. Alec jumped up for a second and Magnus scowled as he leaned up on his elbows to watch what he was doing. His eyes widened and he jumped as Alec ran across his room, turned to face away from the door and kicked it shut with the bottom of his foot, creating a bang that echoed through the house and made his old archery trophies rattle. Neither of them cared at that point. They hadn’t had this level of privacy in months.

“You-” Alec ran back over and panted as Magnus tilted his head to let Alec kiss his neck. “This is so your- fault.”

Magnus laughed, groaning as Alec fell over him and he locked his feet behind Alec’s thighs. His eyes rolled back in his head as Alec moved against him. “How--” Magnus gasped. “Is- this my fault?”

“Running your hand up my leg at dinner!”

“That? Is that why you looked so uncomfortable?! ‘Loosen your belt!’ That was so uncalled for! Do me a favour? Next time you send me a picture of you in your underwear, you might as well go all the way.”

Alec pulled his head away for a second as he laughed. “What’s the phrase about leaving them wanting more?”

Magnus pushed Alec onto his back and jumped up, pulling his hearing aids from behind his ears. He placed them carefully on Alec’s bedside table before turning back to him with sparkling eyes and a low voice. His dad had spent a lot on them, and he could hear okay in the quiet room. It wouldn’t be worth explaining how they had gotten broken. “I do want more.”

Alec jumped up, hastily catching Magnus’ arm and pulling him close. “So do I. Are you sure? I mean- I wouldn’t want-”

Magnus nodded quietly, lifting his head and running his hand down the side of Alec’s face. “Of course, I’m sure.” His voice went quiet as Alec leaned into his hand, their bare chests rising up and down between them. “I love you. So much, Alexander.”

Alec pouted against Magnus’ touch. “I love you, too. More than anything.”

The emotions in Alec’s eyes were so raw; the love so pure that it was glowing from his face. Magnus was lost for words, deciding to show Alec just how much his love meant. They crashed back together with the force of a hurricane, teeth clashing and hands grabbing for anything to hold onto. Alec was ready for him, his lips parted; just waiting for Magnus to come home; the battle for dominance hidden behind their shining eyes. It may have been a while since they had been able to enjoy each other's company in this way, but they fitted together perfectly; in every sense, promising each other with soft glances that spoke of the longing they’d had to be together again. That was, of course, until Magnus took Alec’s lip between his teeth and pulled it into his mouth. In response Alec surged forwards, desperate to eliminate any space that had been between them. He crashed against Magnus with enough force to send him falling backwards and as Magnus had been carrying most of his weight already, the two fell backwards and onto the pillows behind them. 

Magnus giggled as he pushed his messed up hair away from his eyes and reached up to do the same for his boyfriend. Alec wasn’t wasting any time, using this new position to climb on top of Magnus to run his hands down the unclothed expanse of his chest. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to Magnus’ burning skin as his hands were left exposed to the bitterly cold air. He had made his way all the way down to the buckle of Magnus’ belt before making his way back up, much to Magnus’ displeasure. He made sure to pay particular attention to his nipples before running his tongue up his neck, sucking a dark hickey into the sensitive spot at the front of his throat, Magnus a groaning mess underneath him. At this point, Magnus couldn’t take Alec’s ministrations any longer. Using surprise to his advantage, he sat up, dislodging Alec from the front of his neck and pinning Alec beneath him. Alec was breathing heavily as he lay on his back, legs open enough for Magnus to lay between them as Magnus locked their fingers together on the bed and kissed under Alec’s jaw. Alec’s eyes rolled back, and his speech was muffled as he listened to the sucking sounds by his ear. “You getting a little impatient there, Magnus?” 

He felt Magnus grin against him. “I am a very patient man.”

Alec crossed his legs behind Magnus’ back, arching his hips as his head was pulled up by Magnus’ teeth against his lips. Magnus didn’t give Alec to respond, however, taking his weight out of his arms and pressing himself down against Alec.

Alec seemed to have forgotten what he had wanted to say as he wrapped his arms around Magnus’ neck, pulling even tighter against his body as their lips reconnected and the two boys started thrusting in time with the push and pull of their mouths. Without breaking the kiss or moving apart, Alec moved his hands down Magnus’ back, tugging at the top his pants. Following his lead, Magnus also moved his hands down to the fly of Alec’s jeans. A problem quickly arose as they realised that the only way they would be getting out of their, presently, very tight jeans, would be to move apart. With an annoyed sigh, Magnus climbed off Alec, pulling his pants and boxers off in one go and kicking them away. What could only be described as a look of awe and pure adulterated lust lit behind Alec’s eyes. He crawled over to the edge of the bed with his mouth slightly open before running his hands down Magnus’ sides without looking up. Magnus shivered as Alec’s hands reached his thighs before breaking his trance. He pushed Alec backwards, watching as Alec desperately worked to get his belt undone and his zip open. Magnus leaned over him pressing their lips together firmly, leaning on the bed with one knee as he raised Alec’s hips and pulled the constricting fabric from his legs. Alec crawled back against the pillows, pulling Magnus with him before flipping them over. Magnus moved back to press his now free erection to Alec’s own, still hidden beneath his underwear. As they panted, Alec rolled them both, making Magnus lock his legs over Alec’s lower back. Crashing together one last time, Alec settled between Magnus’ legs, their hips moving quickly in sync together as they both moaned loudly. Magnus tilted his head back with his mouth open as his eyes rolled back. As he did so, Alec focused his attention back to the red skin of Magnus’ neck. He had grumbled before that Alec left marks that were hell to hide but Alec simply couldn’t resist the delicious noises Magnus had made when he had bit at the soft skin.

It was Alec’s turn to gasp however when Magnus slipped his hand into Alec’s  boxers and wrapped his fingers around his erection. There was a faint knocking sound in Magnus’ ears, but he otherwise dismissed it. Alec’s head flew back at the pressure and it wasn’t until the door had banged open and Alec threw himself over him that Magnus realised Jace had barged into the room.

“What the fuck, Jace!? Get the hell out!”

Jace gritted his teeth, putting his hand over his eyes. “I did knock but no one answered. I- I thought you were sleeping. My phone charger is broken, and I wondered if-”

“Well, we were obviously not sleeping! Get the fuck out!”

“Alexander, it’s fine.”

“It’s not okay, Magnus!” Alec wanted to shove Jace from the room but that would have meant exposing Magnus underneath him. “None of this is okay! I’m fed up of this! He always barges in! You are fucking naked, Magnus, you literally have your hand down my  boxers ! He can't just barge in whenever the hell he wants to and think It’s okay! It’s not!” Alec’s face screwed up as he shouted, making Jace flinch. “I have survived things that you don’t understand! Will never understand! I came this close to dying and all I want is a happy life to live as I see fit so leave us the fuck alone!” Jace held up his hand and scrambled to find words as Alec spat at him. “And don’t you fucking dare say that you gave me your bone marrow because some days I really wish that you hadn’t!” 

The room went silent as Magnus and Jace processed what Alec had just said. Alec’s chest was rising up and down and his eyes were glassy with tears. Magnus didn’t care about himself, but he knew how upset and probably embarrassed Alec was. Angrily shouting wouldn’t help as he wasn’t thinking clearly and was probably giving Jace more information than he needed. “Okay. Sssh. It’s fine, Alexander.”

“I’m really sorry.” Jace turned on his heel and rushed out, muttering apologies as he pulled the door shut behind himself.

***

“Alexander? Are you okay?”

Alec shook his head as he climbed off Magnus and sat down on the edge on the edge of the bed. Magnus pulled his knees up, wrapping his arm around them and resting his chin.

“No- I. Something’s wrong.” Magnus licked his lips and moved to the other side of the bed. He pulled his underwear on quickly before walking round and slowly kneeling down in front of Alec, struggling to pull his leg under him. Alec’s eyes were wide, and he was clutching his chest. “Magnus-” A tear fell from Alec’s eye and Magnus stood up with a struggle. When he had managed to, he brushed the tear away.

“Talk to me. What’s happening?”

“Magnus- I- I feel like I’m dying. My heart is racing, and I don’t know what’s happening. It’s going faster and faster, but I feel numb. What’s happening to me?! Am I dying? I’m dying, Magnus!”

“Hey.” Magnus spoke softly as he sat down next to him on the bed. He was all too familiar with what was happening. He took a deep breath and nodded as he whispered gently. Alec turned his hand, palm up, on his knee, still clutching his chest with his other hand. Magnus took it gently, placing his fingers over Alec’s wrist. While anyone looking at him would think that he looked perfectly fine, under the surface, his pulse was hammering. Magnus nodded, remembering the steps in his head from when he’d come out of hospital and headaches still reduced him to paralysing fear.

_ Step one: Remain calm. _

Magnus took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment.

_ Step two: Ensure person has enough space unless they ask for it. _

Alec wrapped his arm around Magnus’ side, pulling him close to him. “I don’t understand. How? I can’t be ill again. I- What’s going on? Why isn’t my heart working?”

_ Step three: Acceptance and recognition. _

“Alec, your heart is working fine. You need to tell that to yourself.”

“It’s not, Magnus. I’m dying.”

“Alec, you’re not dying. You’re having a panic attack and while it’s frightening. It can’t hurt you physically in any way, okay? Has this happened before?”

“Yes. No. I didn’t know-” His voice cracked. “Please don’t tell me I have nothing to be panicking about or to think happy thoughts because everyone always says that.”

“I’m not going to, Alexander. ”

Alec sniffled against his side. “I’m- I’m not dying?”

“You’re not. Just panicking because something happened and it frightened you. It started as a fight or flight response and your heart is beating faster because you’re getting more and more worried about it.”

“How do I calm down? I’m scared, Magnus. I want to be okay again.”

_ Step four: Grounding _

“Okay, Alexander. I’m here, okay? You want to try something that I do when I have them?” Alec nodded. “Okay. This is called grounding. Just focus on my voice and what I ask. Look around and tell me five things you can see. Try not to think of anything else.”

Alec sniffed as he opened his eyes and glanced around the room, speaking in a quiet voice. “Carpet, door, dresser...”

“That’s it.”

“Book. Paper ball.”

“Okay tell me four things you can feel.”

Alec looked down as he wiped his face. “Your hand. My bracelet. Umm…” He pulled his hand from his chest and ran his thumb over his duvet cover. “My bed. My feet on the floor.”

“Good. That’s good. Three things you can hear?”

“Your voice. My ears ringing a little. My laptop fan in the corner.”

Magnus nodded. Alec was calming down. “Two things you can smell?”

Alec tilted his head back, taking a deep breath. “The fries Mom made us for our dinner. Your aftershave that I told you I loved the smell of after we were supposed to go to the movies but we didn’t.”

Magnus smiled as Alec relaxed in his arms. “I remember. Tell me one thing you can taste.”

Alec licked his lips for a moment. “The same taste I always have after I’ve kissed you. I like it. Sweet. Something I’ve really missed.”

Magnus nodded sadly. “I’ve missed it too.”

Alec let out a loud sigh. “I think I’ve calmed down now. Thank you.”

_ Step five: Ask if they want to be alone or stayed with. _

“Don’t even mention it. I love you. Do you want me to stay here or give you some space?”

Alec turned to Magnus gratefully, running his fingers through Magnus’ hair. “I love you too and I don’t want you to go anywhere.” Alec looked away and placed his hand on his leg. “Magnus, I’m sorry tonight didn’t go as we planned.”

“Don’t mention that either. We’ll get through everything together, okay?””

“So, what next? I’m tired and it’s getting cold, but I don’t think I can sleep at the minute.”

_ Step six: After panicking is over, limit stimuli to reduce chance of recurrence. _

“That’s okay. You want to get under the covers and we can just talk? I don’t want you to be cold.”

Alec stood up shakily, using Magnus’ good hand to steady him. Before turning off the lights in the room, Magnus pulled the window closed and grabbed the covers, pulling them up gently while Alec lay down and patted the space next to him. Magnus walked around before climbing in next to him and placing his ear protectively over Alec’s chest. He might have been nearly deaf but could feel the gentle thudding against his face. “Magnus. I think we need to talk about some stuff. It will help.”

“As do I. You want me to go first?” Alec nodded against his side as Magnus hugged him protectively. “I don’t know what has happened between us lately, Alexander, but whatever it is, I want to go back to how we were. We’re a team and it’s about time we started acting like it, even if that means needing to be completely honest with one another.”

“I agree. I’ve missed you so much and between everything that has happened, I haven’t been fighting as much as I should have to be staying over yours. I told you once that I wanted to spend every night with you, and nothing is going to change that. I don’t break my promises.”

“Neither do I and I promise that every day, whatever happens, I’ll find a way to wake up by your side.”

Alec chuckled. “What about Max sharing with me?””

“His room won’t take much longer now. Or I could just come in in the morning and shove him off the bed.” Magnus grinned and Alec grinned back at him. “Oh, here’s another idea. You kind of have some blackmail against Jace for walking in on us now. Maybe he’d let Max stay with him for the last week.”

“I think I should apologise to him. I was way out of line.”

Magnus linked his fingers with Alec’s and kissed his hand. “I can’t actually believe you said that.”

“Me either. He probably didn’t even see anything and I sold us out. I’m still mad at him though.”

“You have every right to be. It’s okay to feel like that and he should have known better. Alexander... what you said- about the bone marrow. Do you feel like that? And be honest with me.”

“Sometimes. I talked with our counsellor about it. I saw things, felt things that make me question why I’m here sometimes. I guess sometimes I struggle to understand why I’m still here when others like me didn’t get to live.”

“I understand that. I know exactly what that feels like. But do you know how I deal with it?”

“How?”

“Every one of those lives, every person who is no longer here, we owe it to them to live the best we can. Some days, it’s difficult, yes. But those days when I don’t want to get up or can’t face going outside, I think to myself that I’m not purely living for myself, I’m carrying the lives of all those people with me. I owe it to them to make each day count. If I can’t, then that’s fine and that’s part of the process but I want my life to matter. That can only happen while we remember what has happened but accept that life does have to go on one day and it can be good again.” Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand. “We just have to appreciate those around us and ask for help from them when we need it. I love you so much and I know that neither of us might ever get over this, if not for a long time anyway, but we have something amazing. Another person who each of us love who understands exactly what it means to be a survivor. How special life is. Not all survivors have that person.”

“Wow-” Alec pouted back in the dark. “I understand. I’ve always done things on my own, but it wasn’t until I met you that I realised how different it was to have someone who not only loved me but understood me. Yes, I have my family, but I guess- it’s just a lonely existence to have shaken hands with death and walked away. I know how dark it can get and how much it changes you. I’m glad we both have someone who gets it. ”

“I’ll always be here for you, Alexander. Promise me that you’ll tell me if things ever get bad.”

“I promise, Magnus.” Alec buried his face in Magnus’ chest, feeling warmer and safer than he had done in a long time. “I’ll always be here for you, too.”

***

“Sure. I’ll talk to them, but I think they’ll be surprised. Hang on a sec, angel. Yeah?” Jace looked up at the tap on his door. He’d been speaking to Clary over video chat but on instinct, pressed the button to hang up. He could apologise to her later and explain everything, but it didn’t help the unease as he looked up from his bed to see his brother. “Alec, listen-”

“By the way, Jace. THAT’S how you knock-”

Jace gulped but lit up with a grin as Alec smiled back at him. “Alec I am so sorry. About everything. I completely invaded both yours and Magnus’ privacy and you had every right to shout at me.”

“No, Jace-” Alec sat on the edge of Jace’s bed and Jace pulled his legs up to let Alec sit. “What I said was so out of order. It’s no excuse but my emotions are all over the place and I wasn’t thinking clearly. And what I said about the bone marrow was so wrong I can’t apologise enough. I know it’s not an excuse but me and Magnus hadn’t had any alone time in months and I just lost it for a second. Jace, I’m grateful that you’re my brother every day and I just never knew know how to thank you properly because all I’ve been worrying about is Magnus getting better. You matter to me too and the only reason I’m here and alive to be with him at all is because of the amazing gift that you gave to me. I owe you everything for what you did.”

"Alec, there’s nothing for you to have to apologise for. You were right. You and Magnus have both been through things that I can't even understand. I know you've been having nightmares."

"You do?" 

"Sure. I'm your brother. I remember when you used to get up early and sit at the kitchen table to work when you were worried about coming out to us and couldn't sleep. Well, I also don't know what's been going on this week, but Izzy and Clary have been talking about stuff. Maybe it's girl stuff and none of my business but Clary knows something about Izzy and has been a bit distant. I just wanted someone to talk about it with and I thought you and Magnus might have been my best bet because of how great you guys are together."

"Oh. Do you know if Izzy is okay?" 

"I think so, but I just saw the car go out. Mom's taken Izzy somewhere. Clary came to pick Simon up earlier and I wanted her to stay. Simon offered to take the couch, I guess because Mom would never let him sleep in Izzy's room, and said the Clary could stay with Izzy for the night so we could all get up together and go out tomorrow, but she didn't want to stay."

"I'm sorry. Have you tried speaking to her about it?" 

"About what?" 

"Sitting down and talking with her about what's going on?" 

"I'm supposed to do that?! She won't get mad?" 

"Jace!" Alec laughed. "You're in a relationship for God's sake. You are allowed to talk about your feelings."

"OH- I guess I can. She won't get upset?" 

"Well, it depends on what needs to be said but I don't think so. I know Izzy has been acting weird too, but I think everything will be clear soon. Us brothers just have to stick together, yeah?"

"Sure." Jace smiled crookedly at Alec, making his face go red. "So, you and Magnus… Did you?" Alec shook his head. "NO!? Oh, please say that wasn't because of me."

"No, no. It wasn't because of you. We were both getting tired by that point anyway. And umm… I had a panic attack."

"Oh. You get those as well?" 

"Yes, on top of- what do you mean as well?!" 

Jace looked down. "I umm- I get them. They aren't as bad as they used to be. I know when I'm going to have one now and I can calm myself enough to stop it before it happens. I can talk you through it sometime if you want."

"Jace, you should have said."

"Dad knows. He went to the doctors with me. Mom has enough on her plate-" 

"Jace.” Alec sighed. “We’ve been over this. You are her son. She loves you and wants to care for you the same as the rest of us. We all do, and I hate that you guys have had to take a back seat since I got sick."

Jace yawned. "Don’t worry, I’m going to tell her. I’ve been thinking about it and I promise I will. Alec…” Alec could tell from his voice that Jace had a lot on his mind. It would be so good for him to finally be opening up to someone about how he’d been feeling. “...Remember when you thought they got your medication wrong because you found the boxes in the top cupboard when you were getting us snacks and I took them and said I was going past the pharmacy anyway and would hand them in?” Jace got up and Alec watched as he pulled a key from around his neck. He knew Jace had a lock box where he kept his money and his passport from when he had gone away with the school, but he hadn’t expected to see what he came back with. Jace passed Alec the box and sat down with a sigh. “They’re actually mine. I've been put on something because my mood has been so low. I’ve been taking them for a month, and they are starting to work. I don’t like taking them because they have been making it hard to sleep but It’s getting better. Thinking about it now, maybe that’s why I haven’t been making enough effort to see Clary. The leaflet said they dampen down your emotions. I’ll have to see her in the morning and explain-” Jace saw he was getting distracted and brought his focus back to the box in Alec’s hand. “I have to take it for six months and then another six after-”

“Bloody hell, Jace. Fluoxetine. That’s Prozac. That’s a really strong antidepressant.”

“I know…” Jace spoke quietly as Alec’s eyes went wide. “They started me on 20mg to see how I reacted and are increasing it until the full 60mg dose.”

“Jace-” Alec scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe if I hadn’t been ill-”

“Alec, it’s not to do with that.”

“It’s not?”

“No, I mean it probably hasn’t helped but I don’t think so. Everything that happened with my birth parents has always affected me more than I let on. Sometimes I really miss them and then don’t feel I should get to because I hardly remember them and that’s all in the past now. I still remember the notes of the song my dad used to play the piano with my mom.”

“Jace-” Alec handed back the box and watched as Jace locked it up and put his key around his neck again. He knew his brother and could tell he wanted to move the conversation on. Jace only gave details of things he seemed necessary and while he was getting worked up, it had been a huge step for him to tell Alec anything. “They’ll always be your parents. I never even knew they played. That’s probably where you got it from.” Alec nodded to the keyboard across the room. “You got your headphones so you can show me?”

Jace’s face lit up in a smile as he grabbed his headphones from his jacket pocket. Alec watched as he plugged them in and listened for several moments as Jace played two handed on the left side.

“That’s amazing, Jace. It’s beautiful.”

Jace smiled up at him. “Thanks, but the whole song needs four hands.”

Alec gestured for Jace to move over and sat down next to him with a grin. “I’ve dabbled a bit. Teach me.”

***

It was around seven when Izzy heard a tap on her door. She had fully expected Maryse to be the one who was there, but she must have still been asleep. The early morning light was just ducking into the room, creating little rainbows from the decorations that were hanging on the window.

“Magnus? Is everything okay?”

Magnus walked into the room with his crutch in his left hand. He placed it against the bed and Izzy screwed up her face, trying not to laugh. Magnus had one of Alec’s blanket over his head and looked ridiculous. It was wrapped around his shoulders and he waddled in like a penguin, carrying something in his free arm.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Izzy, you have to help me. Oh, this is awful! Alec only has the mirror in his bathroom, and I tried standing. I didn’t want to wake him and even if I did- I thought that-”

“Magnus, calm down. What is it?”

“Okay, but please don’t laugh.” Izzy got up as Magnus walked over to her bed. He let go of the blanket bundled in his arm, dropping his makeup case on the bed. His face went bright red as he pulled the blanket away with a frustrated laugh. The top of his chest, his neck and under his jaw had bruises from where Alec had been kissing him the night before.

“Oh my God! Go Alec!” Izzy snorted with her hand over her mouth. She used her finger to push Magnus’ head from side to side. “Someone had a busy night. You’d swear my parents don’t feed him.”

Magnus pleaded desperately. “I’ve got concealer, but I can’t do it myself. Can you please help me?”

Izzy laughed. “Of course. It’s what sisters are for. Sit here.” She tapped the bed and Magnus tilted his face up as she started working.

“Thank you so much! Oh, I owe you big time! I don’t think I’m going to be able to show my face here for a while.”

“Magnus, it’s just a few- they’re just hickeys. I can cover them, and I won’t tell anyone.”

“No, ummm-” Izzy tilted Magnus’ head. “Everything is sorted now, and they made up but Jace kind of walked in on us last night.”

“I figured that’s what the shouting was about. You poor things. I’ll kill him for you if you want.”

Magnus jumped as Izzy tried to tackle one of the bruises at the bottom of his throat. “A tempting offer but I wouldn’t want you to go to all that effort. Alec talked to him and it’s okay-”

“Magnus, why do I feel you being here is more than about the bruises?”

Magnus sighed as Izzy started on one of the last bruises. “It kind of spooked Alec-”

“He had a panic attack?”

Magnus caught her arm. “You know about those? Has he had many?”

“Sure, I do. A few I know of. He clutches his hand over his heart and gets clingy or cuddly when it happens so look out for them. I try talking to him, but I don't know how to help him with them. I was actually going to talk to you about it with his permission but at least you know now. Everyone’s got their demons, I guess. We just have to all stay together and try and be honest with those who love us.”

“Funny. I said a similar thing to Alec last night. What about you? How are you doing?”

“I’m doing okay.” Finished with the concealer but enjoying herself, Izzy picked up Magnus’ eyeshadow palette. “Magnus… if you had information that few people knew about but everyone was going to find out about eventually, even if it’s something huge and scary, would you tell everyone or wait?”

“That depends, I guess. If everyone will find out, then it might help to get things out in the open but that might be overwhelming. Maybe build up slowly but don’t force yourself to do anything extreme. Baby steps-” At the mention of the word, Izzy recoiled. “What is it? What did I say?”

Izzy made a frustrated sigh. “Nothing. Nothing at all. It’s just-” She set the eyeshadow palette down and picked up Magnus’ eyeliner pencil. “Magnus… If I told you something… Something absolutely huge. Like life changing… would you… could you keep a secret from Alec? I know you guys have been going through some stuff-”

“Me and Alec are great, Isabelle. We had the most amazing talk last night. Understandably, he went to talk to Jace for a good while, but we just faced each other and spoke for most of the night. It was so sweet. ”

“I’m really pleased for you guys. My brother is so happy when he’s with you.”

“-But to answer your question. If you wanted to tell me something and asked me not to tell Alec, then I wouldn’t. It would be difficult, I guess, but I wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be my secret to tell and I would just do my best to support you.”

“That’s sweet of you, Magnus, but I don’t think I want- I thought for a while that you might have suspected it. I don’t know why-” Magnus met eyes with Izzy and she set the pencil down. “You- you know-”

“You don’t have to say anything. If neither of us says it, no one is keeping secrets. I just- I don't know why, Iz, but I just know. Are you okay?”

On instinct, Izzy reached into the case and picked up Magnus’ compact hairbrush. Herself and Clary had always done makeovers on each other and she hadn’t realised how much it was calming her. She brushed Magnus’ hair back a few times and grabbed a block of red chalk, running it over the ends. 

“I’m okay. I’ve just been really tired lately. Mom went with me and Simon to the doctor first thing and they advised against carrying on with it, but we had the final say. Simon’s so excited, as am I, and I know this is the right choice. It’ll be difficult but it’ll be amazing. I’m ready for whatever happens.”

“Oh, of course, Simon. Wow- that’s crazy. Well, I did those childcare classes if you ever want to talk. You need to take folic acid and a vitamin D supplement-”

“Yep, already-”

“And no shellfish. You can have coffee but not excessive-”

“Magnus-”

“And make sure to get loads of leafy greens because iron is-”

“Magnus!” Izzy laughed and he gritted his teeth.

“Sorry. It’s just-” He looked at the door and whispered. “I’m going to the best uncle ever. You watch me. Ahhh! I’m so excited!”

Izzy chuckled to herself. “I don’t doubt it.”

***

Alec pulled his blanket over his head as he lay on his stomach. It was still dark out but he so warm and he had stayed up really late so there was no need to be up yet really. Without opening his eyes, he patted the space next to him, frowning at the fact that they had apparently broken their rule after one night. Alec rolled over as Magnus skidded into the room, carefully carrying a tray against his right hip.

“I’m here! I’m here!” Alec laughed, rubbing his eyes. Magnus switched the bedside lamp on low before he  leaned over him, pressing their lips together for several seconds. "What is it?" Magnus swallowed. Alec had his hand over his heart. "Are- are you okay?!"

"I'm great." Alec grinned, taking in Magnus' makeup and styled hair as he gasped to catch his breath. "You- you look so gorgeous."

"Oh. Thank you. I could say the same about you."

Alec laughed. "I've only just woken up."

"I know but my point still stands." Magnus blushed as he set the tray down between them, pushing a glass of orange juice and Alec’s morning medication to him before picking up his own. They clinked their glasses, taking what they needed so they could move on to something else. Alec rolled up one of the pancakes and ate it, licking sugar off his fingers. He lay back for a second with a huge smile on his face and Magnus laughed at him.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just love how happy you look.”

Alec rolled up another and fed it to Magnus before kissing him again. “These are so good. We’re good. Life is good, Magnus. These are the kind of days I live for. If I wasn’t so exhausted from last night and my family weren’t all around and waking up soon, I’d so be giving it to you right now-”

“Alexander!” Magnus chuckled, nearly tipping the glasses. “You can’t say things like that!”

“I can and I will."

"Okay, so…" Magnus put half a strawberry into Alec's mouth. "I've had an idea."

"I'm listening."

"The dance at my school is in one week's time. We're going to dress up, dance together, have photos. It'll be amazing. Why don't we top if off by getting a hotel for the night afterwards?"

"Are you serious?!" Alec shot up, nearly tipping the tray. 

"Always. This week may be the longest of our lives and that's saying something but how good will that be?! The whole evening, night and morning with no interruptions. Just amazing sex. How does that sound?!" 

"Ohmygod, I'm so excited!"

"Buuut! We have to lay some ground rules. If we're going to do this then we're going to do it right. We're going to behave around each other all week. No heated make out sessions. No touching. Deal?" 

Alec clapped his hands as he nodded. "We can arrange everything so it's all perfect. I mean, nothing ever goes to plan with us but let's do it! I’m done being too afraid! I'm done being too afraid to tell you how I feel, Magnus. It’s time to start living our best lives, okay? Everything changes from here. This is going to be amazing!”

Magnus nodded, taking in Alec’s adorable bedhead and his eyes that shone even in the dim room. “Then we're in agreement!" Magnus picked up his glass and held it up to Alec. "It’s a good life, Alexander. To making the most of it!”

"To making the most of it!"

They clinked glasses and ate in silence for several minutes, light kisses to noses and an attempt on Alec's part to lick sugar of Magnus' fingers that quickly got shut down. Magnus made a mental note that Alec only ate the green grapes and not the purple ones and set out to remember it. He laughed softly to himself as Alec kept feeding them to him, pecking him on the lips each time. When they had finished, Magnus set the tray down to the side, licking sugar off his thumb. He’d made more pancakes, enough for everyone once they woke up, and had left them on a plate downstairs. He offered to go and get more but Alec just pulled him close and told him that he was perfectly contented. Together, the two of them lay in silence, a bundle of arms and legs, warm and in love as they watched the sun come up in the window, bringing with it a new day of wonder and possibilities. Not every day was going to be easy but as they lay there, side by side once again, they counted their blessings, agreeing on the same thing. If each sunrise meant that they had lived and earned to see the new day, then they owed it to themselves to make every single one of them count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


	33. Minutes turn to Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of Magnus' school dance and a time for quiet reflection. Not only on what Alec and Magnus have been through but the whole family. As another week passes and new trials are being faced, the Lightwood-Banes find that the most important thing is that they all stick together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Thank you so much for being patient for this one. As you will see, it's a long chapter and there were a few things I needed to make sure were written correctly.  
> Hope you enjoy! <3
> 
> //NSFW warning <3
> 
> Song for chapter 33:[ "How Does A Moment Last Forever?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsKKuCUYUMU&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=35&t=0s)

_I’m weak. I shouldn’t need it._

There were whispers in the darkened room as Max opened his eyes. They were barely discernible, and he stretched his arms before rolling over and licking his lips. “Jace? What are you doing?”

Jace turned around, startled. Max rubbed his eyes from where he was huddled under Jace’s blanket. He had been reluctant to share at first (Jace had always needed his own private space) but since Alec had spent a good few nights away that week, Max hadn’t wanted to stay alone in Alec’s double bed or the last touches of paint hadn’t dried, Jace had been understanding and had agreed to help out his parents while his little brother's room was being finished.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m putting on my shoes.” Jace spoke as he sat on the bottom edge of his bed and crossed his laces over. Max had known that Jace had his driving test that morning but hadn’t expected him to be up and ready so early. He had a few hours to go yet and Jace had always been a lacksi daisy- kind of last minute- guy. “Go back to sleep.”

Max yawned, pushing back his blanket to display his pyjamas that matched Jace’s. Maryse had bought them all new pairs a few days ago and Max had wanted the same as his brothers. Both Jace and Alec just tended to sleep in just their underwear or nothing at all when it was warm but neither had offered up that information. “Jace?”

“What? Max, I’ve got stuff to be doing.”

Max crawled over the bed and lay down on his stomach with his arms bent and his head on the side as he closed his eyes. “I want breakfast.”

“Already done. There’s pancakes downstairs but you’ll have to go and get them yourself because I’m not feeling great and I just got back up here. I couldn’t sleep this morning, so I got up early.”

“Jacey? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Come on, you’re old enough-” Jace jumped as Max went up on his knees and hugged around his shoulders. “Max, I’m okay. I promise. I just have my driving test this morning so I’m a little nervous.”

Max hugged Jace tighter and Jace patted his hand before he let go, Max imitating Jace as he sat on the edge of the bed and his legs swung freely. “Can I help?”

Jace ruffled his hand through Max’s hair, making him laugh as Jace himself smiled. “I don’t think so, buddy. Not long and it’ll be over with.” Max nodded and jumped off the bed with a slight thud. As he ran from the room, Jace’s face dropped slightly. He’d eaten what he could, but his stomach was in knots and he wanted nothing more than to pull the curtains closed and go back to sleep in the dark. He knew he had to do his test but just- he really didn’t feel like going. Plus, everyone was going to the beach later so if he didn’t pass, he knew he would be in a bad mood at having to let Alec drive them all. That and he’d also feel guilty on top of it because the sudden change in schedule really upset Alec lately.

Jace stood up, running his hand down his face and eyeing up the red lock box that was in the corner. Even though he had found himself hating breakfast lately, he knew what would come after was worse. He glanced at the bottle of water on his bedside table and as he went to pull the chain from around his neck, Max ran back into the room, making him jump and drop the chain back down his shirt. “Max! I’ve told you not to do that!”

“Sorry.” Max went up on his tiptoes as he held something behind his back. Jace watched as Max walked across the room and moved towards Jace’s backpack that was in the corner. His back was to Jace and it was only when he struggled to undo the zip with one hand that he set the teddy down on the floor and Jace caught sight of it. “I know we’re too old for it now, but no one has to know if you take him with you. Mr. Snuggle bump helps me when I’m scared, and I thought he might help you too.”

Jace nodded, absentmindedly threading his fingers through his necklace. "Do you get scared?"

"Sometimes." Max considered leaving Mr. Snuggle bump's head to stick out of the bag but decided to tuck it in. Jace went to say something and Max carried on. "-But all my siblings are really brave and strong, so I try my best to be too. Being brave doesn’t come without fear or being hurt. Sometimes it’s just looking that fear or hurt in the eye and saying ‘’Move aside! You are in my way!’" Max zipped up the bag and before Jace could say anything else, the doorbell rang and Max shot out, cheering at the fact that Simon was coming over to see Izzy and that he wanted to show him the new video game he had borrowed from Tavvy.

Jace took a few deep breaths, thankful that Max had kept his childlike optimism despite everything that he had been through. It was strange that in the past few months, he’d gone from conversations with Max about imaginary monsters or trucks to more grown up topics such as love or what it meant to be a son. He pulled the chain from around his neck and walked across the room, leaning down. He slid the key into the lock.

_I thought up until now that having to do this made me weak. That taking this medication made me weak. But maybe Max was right. I have to be there for him and everyone else so there’s no giving up now. If you break your leg, you fix it. I’m strong and I can do this._

_I’m strong._

***

Alec was happily awoken to an arm draped up his chest, a light kiss pressed to his bare shoulder and a whispered ‘Good morning’ against his neck. A contented smile spread over his face as he took in the warmth wrapping him from behind and closed his eyes again silently. They had a million and one things to be doing today but waking up and detaching himself from both the warm blankets and his warm boyfriend was definitely not at the top of his list. Magnus moved from behind him and Alec saw movement behind his closed eyelids, pulling the blanket over his head to shield his eyes from the daylight. Soft hands ran over his chest and Alec rolled his head gently, as Magnus turned him to make him lie on his back.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered quietly, “Are you planning to do anything productive today?”

Alec shook his head, still covering himself in darkness. If he quietly ignored it (the light and possibly Magnus) then he could just stay in that moment for a little longer. “Okay then.” Magnus spoke casually and a moment later, Alec was trying both not to laugh and to pretend he was still sleeping as Magnus climbed under the blanket, lying with the side of his face against Alec’s chest; the calm heartbeat under his pink cheek. Several minutes passed and Magnus whispered again. “I’m so happy here, don’t get me wrong, but if we’re not up in about five minutes then my father is going to let Honey upstairs and I don’t know if it’s raining but I don’t really want a wet dog crawling over me while I’m only in my underwear.” Magnus licked his lips and nuzzled into Alec. “Plus, I have to finish the cake for the dance tonight and if we’re late to meet everyone to go to the beach then we’re so going to be made fun of.”

“Mmmhmm.” Alec nodded with his eyes closed. “Wait.” He wrapped his arms around Magnus’ lower back and slid them upwards slowly, until Magnus put his arms around Alec’s neck and they were hugging each other tightly. He spoke sleepily and Magnus chuckled as Alec teased him. “Is the dance tonight? It never crossed my mind.”

Magnus moved up slightly, clutching Alec with the blanket over both of their heads. Alec sighed happily as Magnus buried his nose in the side of his neck and they fell asleep again, chest to chest.

***

“There we are. Nearly home.”

_*Yawwwn* Ahhh. Honey nearly home! Honey go for good walk with Yesfather! Honey walk further now. Honey big gurl. Walk, heel, walk heel. Stop. Shakeee. Annnd go. Walk, heel, walk, heel. Watching Yesfather! He carry treat for Honey. Honey wait like good gurl. Honey go dog school now. She goin to help Papawoof stay safe. Biig risponsa- risaponsabal… Honey got important duty. My house! I see Honey’s ball on grass. Honey can’t get excited on the outside. Honey still wag tail though, but she stays calm. Honey needs to be calm for dog school. She sees lots of good bois and good gurls who want to help. Honey wants to get her harness and make Doggodad and Papawoof proud._

“Okay. Here we are. Let’s get in before it rains.”

_Rain? Honey likes rain. Honey licks puddles. Omnomnom. Slurrrp. Door! Door door door. Step. Step. Step. Honey sit. Honey wait to unclip collar. Honey wait for signal. “Okay. Release.” Honey run! Honey jump! Where ball?! Look left. Look right. Aha! Under table! Honey run. Honey barge chairs respectfully! Honey good gurl. Honey got ball. Owww. It not squeaking now. Follow Yesfather! He look at calling device. Time? Time for second breakfast? No? Owww. That make Honey sad._

“What you think, girl? Should we get the lazy teens out of bed? Get Magnus and Alec up?”

_YES! OH, MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE! WAGWAGWAGWAG. HONEY CROUCH. HONEY WAG. HONEY SHAKE BUM. YESFATHER! NODDING UPWARDS!_

“Go on then! Go find them! Where’s Alec and Magnus?!”

_HONEY TURN. HONEY RUN. STAIRS. SNIIIFFFF. RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN._

***   

The sound of soft giggles drifted through the room as Magnus kissed Alec’s chest, his hair tickling him and making Magnus laugh as he lay on top of him. Alec loved these soft moments where they could just be teenagers in love, those blissful moments before they would actually have to get up, but it had been a good long while since they had been together now, and he was starting to feel things stir within him.

“Magnus…. You’re-” Alec’s breath caught as Magnus kissed his sternum. They’d tried to keep it together all week but since their plans were all in full swing for that night, the extra touches and soft kissing seemed more beneficial than something frustrating. “-You’re making me laugh. Besides, you know what they say about teasing...”

Magnus smirked, running his hands over Alec’s shoulders and back down again. His waist was heavy against Alec’s and Alec was trying to stop himself from flipping them over. “Oh? And what is it that they say?”

Alec swallowed as his chest rose up and down, his voice low and sleepy. “That it is rude to tease if you don’t plan to follow through with your actions.”

“Mmm.” Magnus laughed as he ran his hand up Alec’s thigh, drawing out an accidental moan. Between them so close together and having the blanket over them, it was getting unbearably heated.

“Come on, Magnus,” Alec whispered. “It’s been a week already. We agreed on a week. Please.”

Magnus laughed, biting his lip before pressing both of his lips against Alec’s quickly, moving backwards as Alec’s head lifted off the pillow, more than a little unsatisfied as he was met with not enough in return.

“Nope. We’ve both been patient all week so there’s no point in breaking now.” Magnus tried not to laugh at Alec’s angry pout. He rubbed their noses together, breaking Alec’s serious expression. “Not before you see me in my tux, anyway.”

Alec grinned as his eyes drifted to the side for a second. “I do like you in a tux.” Magnus nodded and kissed Alec’s chest again. He had been the one to say that they’d had to get up soon and he was the one refusing to give Alec what he wanted and yet he was the one lying on top, letting his hands and his lips wonder freely as he drove Alec mad. “Okay. That’s not helping. Come on, jump off.”

Magnus climbed off defeatedly and purposefully, pushing back the blanket and moving as far to the edge of the bed as he could. Trying to hide a cheeky smile, he lay on his stomach, facing away from Alec as he hung one leg down, letting his foot brush the floor. He mumbled against the pillow as he lay his head on his arm and imagined the look of horror and deceit on Alec’s face. “There. I’m off.”

Magnus listened to the soft sounds of Alec moving against the covers. A second later, he turned his head to the other side and found himself pleasantly surprised to be staring back into the eyes of the man that he loved. He’d always thought Alec was beautiful since he’d first laid eyes on him, all clean cut lines and golden promises, but there was something in that moment that he couldn’t quite place. How everything that should have made Alec a mess; his scruffy hair, his sleepy eyes, somehow culminated into something incredible. Something totally and utterly perfect that made Magnus want to take Alec’s hand and give him everything in the world.

Magnus closed his eyes quietly as a gentle kiss was placed on his forehead, Alec’s arm over the back of his shoulders. “Magnus, I love you-”  Magnus murmured in reply, his face against the pillows. “Hmm?”

“Licking…”

Alec stared on in confusion. “What?”

“Licking my leg…” Magnus mumbled again.

“Alright, if you want but it’s not really what I had in mind.”

“No!” Magnus laughed as he lifted his head. “The dog, you idiot!”

Magnus pulled the blanket away and sat up. Honey was already taking to her training and there were fine lines between working and being off duty. Once she had her harness, Honey would learn to recognise her commands. If she was on release, she could play freely. The work command would be given once her harness was on and everyone had been encouraged to start practising when she was on her lead. Even though Asmodeus had cleared her to wander around the house freely, instead of jumping up on Magnus’ bed excitedly, she’d taken it upon herself to lie down patiently and wait for his instruction instead. Once she had finished her training then she’d sleep with Magnus full time. She’d be able to wake Magnus up before a seizure so he could get help.

“Hi, baby!!” Alec smiled as he moved to Magnus’ side of the bed. He lay on his front and stretched his hand down, but Honey was only looking at Magnus. “What does she want?”

“I don’t know.” Magnus crossed his legs on the bed as he tapped with his hand. “Maybe she’s waiting to be asked up. Come on, girl.”

When Honey refused to move, Alec and Magnus shrugged at each other and decided to lay side by side under the covers and talk about their plans for the day. A few seconds later, both of them were laughing as Honey jumped up, her collar jingling as she crawled up the blanket and piled herself between them.

“Oof-” Magnus laughed as Honey flattened them both. It was only yesterday that they’d been able to carry her in one arm. She looked more grown up now, even if she still acted like a lunatic. Honey continued to lie down happily, stretching out as Magnus reached over her, Alec’s hand joining his as they rested on her golden fur. “Alexander, what are you thinking about?”

“That happiness looks gorgeous on you.” Magnus blushed. “Actually- I was just thinking-” Alec ran his foot against Magnus’ leg, under the covers. “-that this could be our kid one day. Us all piled up on a Sunday morning or something. It’s nice to think about.”

Magnus pouted softly as Honey yawned. “Kids plural, right?”

Alec was caught off guard as Magnus’ reached over Honey and brushed his hair from his face. “Well, how many do you want?”

Magnus considered Alec’s question for a second and laughed as he brought Alec’s hand to his mouth, kissing it softly. “Oh, I don’t know. Enough to fill a minibus-” Magnus shrieked as Honey moved and tried to lick his face.

“How about we just focus on this one for now and we discuss other babies later?”

“Deal.” Magnus pushed Honey back and her ears perked up at the sound of the microwave pinging from downstairs. It was probably Asmodeus’ warming up his coffee but Honey was never one to pass up the opportunity for food and shot out of the room. One of her final exams would be to resist various tasty things while she was working, and Magnus knew it would be one she was going to find difficult. It would be a shame because even if she learned all the other things perfectly, failing one exam would mean she could still do what was asked of her, but she wouldn’t get her certificate. That would mean that she wouldn’t be registered and therefore would lose privileges such as being able to go into stores or cafes.

Magnus pushed the blanket back and stretched his arms as he yawned. “You want to take a shower together?” Alec shook his head. He still didn’t like them and if he was going to freak out in one then he’d rather do it without Magnus having to witness it. His bath was still out of commission and he was getting a little better, but he could have a shower at home, after the beach. Magnus nodded as Alec rolled back over and picked up his phone from the side table. Magnus got up slowly, walking around the bed and meeting eyes with Alec. As Alec looked up at him, he pulled the covers up and tucked them around him, kissing Alec’s nose.

“Mmm. Imagine being paid to be this cute.” Magnus teased innocently as he flirted and squished Alec’s face. Alec buried his face in the blanket, his cheeks turning pink.

“You’d be rich.”

Magnus kissed Alec’s head and laughed as he turned to walk away. Before he reached the bathroom, for a bit of good measure, Magnus dropped his shorts. He strolled into the bathroom on his tiptoes, fully well knowing that Alec had one eye open from where the blanket was pulled up to his face.

As Magnus jumped in the shower and poured shampoo on his head, he tried to keep his mind on the things he needed to get done. The cake still had to have the finishing touches and he needed to polish his shoes. Both Alec’s suit and his own tux were matching, despite actually being different, but they hadn’t seen each other’s. Izzy and Clary had helped Alec to choose his and Simon had come along with Magnus when he’d bought his own. Magnus’ mind was running with thoughts on hair styling and which rings he should wear that night when Alec shouted from the bedroom.

“Alexander, sweetie! I don’t have my hearing aids in, so you’ll have to come here!” A second later, Alec’s shadow appeared through the curtain and Magnus stuck his head out. “What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Alec tried to look around the curtain and Magnus tapped his hand away.

“Behave!” Magnus smirked and they kissed each other quickly. “Oh, as long as you’re okay. Is that all you wanted?”

Alec smiled proudly at the phone in his hand and turned it around to show Magnus. It took him a second to make sense of it but when he did, they grinned back at each other.

The phone displayed a picture of Jace, beaming and standing in front of a car with his pass certificate.

***

Clary swayed gently to the light piano music that filled her room. She was going through an experimental phase and her whole room, bar one wall, was completely covered in white cloths. The playlist was something that Jace had put together. A mix of both of their favourite songs and several piano pieces which he’d given to her on a USB so long ago.

She dipped her brush into the tin that was in her hand and splattered it across the wall. Her mom had been against the idea, but Luke had argued in her defence that her room was her own space and she should have the freedom to decorate it as she pleased. Still, she had a feeling that after a week, Luke was getting fed up of the paint smell that filled the house. As she was sleeping in the spare room, she’d kept the windows open so she didn’t end up inhaling too much of it.

As she was retying her hair, there was a beep from outside. In a panic, she rushed over to her covered nightstand and carefully pressed her phone to turn it on. She grabbed a cloth from the side and wiped her hand, checking that she’s actually read it right. It was far too early for Alec to have driven over from Magnus’. Had she gotten the time wrong? She hadn’t even changed her clothes and there was paint up her face.

There was a beep again and Clary walked over to the window, wiping her hands as she pulled the curtain aside. Her face lit up as she looked down and a second later, she was racing down her stairs, through the living room and out of the front door.

Jace grinned back as he watched the door fly open, casually leaning against his parent’s car and proudly indicating the green pass plates with a flourish. Clary rushed to hug him, remembering at the last second that she was covered in paint. Jace cared more about Clary than his shirt and rushed forward, gathering her in his arms and spinning her around while she laughed. She’d been so worried about him lately and she knew how much it meant to him that he’d passed. It was one weight of his mind and now he could stop worrying and start focusing on himself. Having his license would also come with so many freedoms. They’d be able to go out more together and start developing a little independence. Jace had always been a bit like a wild stallion. Sometimes he needed to take off and have time to think. Driving could also give him that.

“Jace, I’m so proud of you.”

Jace grinned as he clutched the back of Clary’s head, hugging her tightly. “Thank you. I’m so pleased I passed.”

“Ahhh!” As Jace set her down, Clary jumped up and clapped. “Does that mean you’re driving us to the beach later? I know you wanted to really badly. I mean, I know you’ve been feeling tired lately so absolutely don’t push yourself if you don’t want to-”

“Are you kidding?!” Jace hugged her again and held up the keys. “Go get ready! I want to get going!”

***

There was quiet chatter from the kitchen area as Asmodeus walked in from the front garden. One of his neighbours had seen Magnus and Alec kissing against the outside wall the day before and had wanted to ask him about it. It had not been his first thought of conversation for the morning.

As he shut the door behind himself, he turned to take in the current sight of his kitchen. He pinched his eyes, taking three deep breaths before walking forward.

“Boys, we’ve talked about this-” Asmodeus was met with two blank stares. Magnus was standing in front of the coffee machine, casually unfolding the lid of a cake box. Alec was sipping coffee at the table. Both of them looked back cluelessly as if they had no clue what Asmodeus was going on about. “Listen-” Asmodeus spoke quietly, holding up his hand as he closed his eyes. “I respect you’re both just waking up but- if-you-are-walking-around-my-kitchen-at-this-time-in-the-morning- then I expect you both in more than just one piece of clothing each! You both have pyjama bottoms as far as I am concerned so there is no need for any of us to be walking around in just our underwear. We have to have some boundaries, understand?!”

Magnus creased one eyebrow as he pouted, looking more than slightly annoyed at the suggestion his gorgeous boyfriend put some pants on. He strolled over to the hamper on the table, still scowling as he pulled out a pair of socks. Asmodeus had forgotten how quickly Magnus’ mood could change, both as he was a teenager and because of his medical history and didn’t know if he was making a joke or a statement when he threw himself down on the floor, pulling on the pair of socks dramatically. “There! Now I have three pieces of clothing on!”

Alec sipped his coffee without looking up. “Do the socks count as one piece or two?”

Asmodeus rubbed his head, totally and utterly fed up with their teenage antics. “Just- You both have robes!”

Magnus smirked as he stood up, nearly slipping on the tiles as he did so. “I’ve kinda decided that I want a new one. Styles come and go, you know? Also, I put Alec’s in the wash because it had coffee spilled down it. I somehow mysteriously forgot to put it in when I washed this massive load so if you could wash it when the next load goes in then I’d appreciate it.”

Asmodeus stared back with his mouth open. Now he was sure that Magnus was just showing off in front of Alec. “How did- how did you spill coffee down it?” Alec snorted into his mug as Magnus put his arms around his shoulders, laughing as he kissed the side of Alec’s face. “Okay- never mind. Have you changed the dog’s water?”

“I haveeee-” Magnus sang tunefully as he realised Alec was still not conforming to the two clothing rule. He walked over to his bag that was hung over the chair and gracefully slapped his baseball cap onto Alec’s head. Asmodeus rolled his eyes at the initials.   

“Is the cake all ready to be delivered?”

“Yes, yes.” Magnus sat down and slid his phone across the table to show Alec something on the screen.

“And did you finish washing up last night? Because you always leave it and I end up having to do it.”

“Urghh! Yes, Father!” Asmodeus cast a look at Magnus that told him he was pushing his behaviour too far. Magnus’ face softened a little and he coughed before he spoke again. “Alec is a clean freak and told me off for it. So, yes. I did the washing up.” 

“Good.” Asmodeus sighed and decided to leave the conversation there. As he left, he thought to himself that even if they hadn’t gotten along perfectly at first and that a lot of things had changed since he had met Alec, he was glad to have him around. He made his son happy and if he could install some good examples then that was a bonus.

As Asmodeus finally left the room, both Alec and Magnus burst into laughter. While Asmodeus seemed pleased that Alec had encouraged Magnus to get one of his chores done, what they hadn’t told him was that arguing over the washing had resulted in a session of throwing bubbles. While the washing had been done, it had actually taken them two hours. Throwing bubbles at each other had resulted in Magnus pulling Alec over to the couch. Kissing had led to touching and if Asmodeus hadn’t pulled up onto the driveway and accidently beeped the horn, they would have broken their pact for the week.

***   

“I’m going to get you a cloth. Hang on.”

Izzy sat back down on the floor as Simon moved towards the sink. When they’d been to the doctors for their first appointment, the doctor had told them that if conception took around two weeks then that actually now meant that Izzy was six weeks along. When they’d told Maryse she was three weeks along, they had been right, but it actually meant she was five. It was all very confusing. She was bloated, she was miserable, and no matter how much sleep she got, she was finding that she couldn’t keep her eyes open. They had another doctor’s appointment later that day so she was going to see if there was anything else she could do. It was a natural process so how was she already feeling so fed up?

“Here you go.” Simon went to hand Izzy the cloth and she shook her head, moving to lean over the toilet again. She remained there for a minute as Simon held her hair back. When nothing came of it, she sat back and shook her head. 

“How long is this going to go on for?” Simon felt clueless as he tried to pointlessly pat Izzy’s head. She groaned as she pointed. “You did this to me! I blame you! I blame you for all of this!” She sat back against the wall and chuckled quietly. “Sorry. I don’t mean it.”

“I know you don’t.” Simon held out the cloth again and when Izzy glanced at it in disgust, he pressed it to her head gently. “Food’s been a bit of a trigger lately, hasn’t it?”

“It has.” Izzy laughed as she pressed Simon’s hand to her face. “I think it was Jace’s pancake batter this time. I’m supposed to have more calcium but things with milk in just turn my stomach. Can you pass me a glass of water?” Simon nodded and got up quickly, returning with the glass in hand. They knew Maryse was only downstairs if they needed her but were taking it upon themselves to deal with everything on their own. Simon had been getting up early and coming over each day and leaving late each night when he couldn’t crash on the couch. “Maybe I’ll offer to make breakfast until everyone finds out. It won’t be long anyway because we’re going to have to tell my dad.”

Simon swallowed nervously and sat down. He’d been trying not to think about it. “Orrr, maybe I could ask to stay over more often and then help make it instead.” Izzy cocked her head. “What? Well, your Mom isn’t exactly going to say no, is she? It’s not like you can get more pregnant. Izzy looked like she was going to get up to be sick again and took a few deep breaths before sitting back.

“No. I’m okay.”

“Maybe we should suggest going to see a movie instead of the beach. I don’t want you to go if you’re not going to feel well.” Izzy shook her head and smiled. “What?”

“I’ve gone through all the possibilities and this quiet little beach is the only place where we can all go out together at the moment. The boys don’t really want to go to the mall. Alec has been really fussy with what he eats since his chemo. Plus his anxiety means he doesn’t like crowded places. Jace is hard to convince to do anything these days and we can’t go swimming or rock climbing because of Magnus. Plus-” She put her head on Simon’s shoulder. “There’s the two of us-” She laughed softly as Simon held her hands. “We’ve got the knocked up sixteen year old and the teenage father over here. Man, I love our little family, but we’re not all really well put together, are we?” 

“I think that’s the beauty in it. Think about it. We’re all broken in our own little ways- not- I’m not saying that you being pregnant means you are in any way though- actually now that I think about it- I can’t really say that about any of us because- It doesn’t matter. We fix each other anyway, even with our own problems. Except for Clary, maybe, but she’s been amazing at helping all of us. And keeping all our secrets. Maybe we should get her a card or a gift voucher or something-”

Izzy snorted. Simon in his wonderful weirdness always managed to make her laugh, no matter how crap she was feeling. Simon shook his head and Izzy looked up at him as he smiled. “What?”

Simon kissed her forehead. “We’re like the worst Avengers ever.”

***

Only a short while later, all pants were on, paint was cleaned up and girlfriends comforted before everyone was piled in the people carrier and on their way to the beach. The peaceful quiet was quickly ended and Magnus put his hands over his ears as Izzy and Jace shouted at each other from where they were sitting at the front. Alec and Simon were either side behind and Magnus was piled in the middle. Clary was behind him, talking excitedly while Honey panted happily and watched the commotion.

“Jace, you prat! I told you I want the window open! Stop being an asshole and just give in already!”

“What the hell is the matter with you!? We have air conditioning and I don’t want turbulence in my ears as I drive! This is supposed to be my first outing as a qualified driver and you’re kind of wrecking my vibe!”

“Listen, both of you!” Simon sat forward as he tried to convince them to meet halfway. Alec watched out the window quietly. He hated arguing and even though he was the oldest of his siblings, he was actually hoping that Simon could fix it this time. Magnus noticed Alec’s breathing was a little more tense than usual and linked their fingers together. “Why don’t you open it a little?! It stops Izzy feeling travel sick and Jace, you won’t have turbulence in his ears.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

A moment later, the conversation shifted to music choices and the whole process nearly started over again. Clary suggested from the back that she wouldn’t be able to hear the conversations if they had music on loud so Izzy and Jace agreed on just keeping the radio at a low volume.

Clary sat forward slightly, combing her fingers through Honey’s fur. “So, are you guys looking forward to the dance tonight?”

“We are,” Magnus smiled back at her. “I’m a bit nervous because I haven’t seen most of my class since I dropped out of school.”

“I’m sure it’ll go great. You’re going to have so much fun. Oh, did you finish the cake?!”

“Sure did.” Magnus pulled his phone from his pocket and Alec pointed out which photo to show her. Magnus passed his phone behind and Clary smiled at the large sheet cake with the school logo on top.

“Magnus, that’s incredible!”

“Thank you!” Magnus hesitated and a few of the others glanced at him. He gestured for Clary to swipe across and she laughed softly at all the different celebration cakes. “I’ve been making a portfolio up over the years. You know, just in case any friends, or friends of my father, wanted cakes. I used to do a lot more of it but haven’t had much of a chance lately. I forgot how much I loved it.” Alec smiled at Magnus and squeezed his hand. “I’d been thinking since I left school that I needed to make a career decision. I don’t want to be dependent on my father forever. It will be difficult, but I’d like to have a cake business full time. I’d have to start out smaller because I still struggle with rolling fondant because of my arm; maybe start with cupcakes or something and work up. I’m determined to do it. Then once I have a little more money saved up then maybe then I could get my own place with a nice kitchen area and do it from there. I’d have to properly get a food hygiene certificate and have the place checked. I’ll have to see about pet regulations, but I don’t see why I wouldn’t be able to. Thinking about it, we’re going to have to sit Max down eventually and tell him that while Honey is mine and Alec’s, she’ll need to stay with me for my safety once she’s trained so that’ll be fun. Anyway, even if fondant cakes are a problem for now then I could start with naked cakes and work my way up”

“Magnus, that’s a great idea!”

Jace snorted from the front. “What is that? Is that like boobs or something?”

Magnus sighed and Alec rolled his eyes. “No, Jace. They’re the natural looking cakes without outside decoration. Usually the ones with fresh fruit on the top.”

“Oh. Well, that’s boring.”

“Besides,” Magnus carried on as he ran his hand down Alec’s arm. “Muscles here can help me out until he decides what he wants to do, can’t you?” Jace snorted from the front again and Alec narrowed his eyes. Magnus rubbed their noses together and spoke quietly as Jace took the next turning. “I don’t know what you’re laughing at. I think he’s quite impressive.” Alec blushed slightly at the flirty and implied tone. He’d expected it ahead of their plans that night but perhaps not so obvious in front of everyone else.

Jace muttered under his breath that he was far more impressive than Alec and Izzy politely asked them to change the subject.

Simon spoke up for the first time in a while. “You know, when my bubbie was alive, she owned a bakery in Poland. From what I heard, it’s a difficult profession but very rewarding.”

“I’m looking forward to it. You know-” Magnus smiled at Simon. “-I wouldn’t be able to do it with Honey as my assistance dog because it would be too much, but I’d always liked the idea of being a childminder because I love helping out with kids and babies.”

Simon tried to hide something between panic and a smile. “Good to know. Well, if any of us ever have kids in the future then we’ll- know who to come to-”

Clary cooed excitedly from behind and glanced at the mirror, catching sight of Izzy who was smiling into her hand. 

***

_Oww Honey loves the car! Honey likes watching out the windows. Honey likes going to the park. Honey does not like going to the vets. Honey wants to know where we’re going. Are we going to the park? Honey bring something home for Max. Max want stick? Oh! Honey find nice feather to take back. Honey likes LittleMax. LittleMax is a good boy. He feeds Honey and pat, pat, pats her head. LittleMax also brushes Honey and makes her nice and shiny. Honey likes when her fur goes all flowy. Honey can smell sandwiches in Redgirl’s basket. Honey looooves sandwiches. Specially Max’s b’nana ones. Yum!_

***

“Okay, don’t toss it- Max! Max, please be careful!”

Maryse cackled with laughter, taking in the sight of her youngest. There was flour in his hair, and he was laughing joyfully as his father tried to show him how to turn the pizza dough. They usually just ordered in but since everyone else was out for the day, they both decided that a little fun wouldn’t go amiss.

“Mom! Look!” Max threw the dough up and narrowly caught it, Robert rushing over with gritted teeth in case he had to catch it.

“Okay! Put it on the tray now.”

Max pouted as he smiled at his father, dropping the flat dough down with a thud and throwing up a cloud of flour and semolina. Robert passed over a bowl of tomato sauce and Max excitedly spooned some on top. “Mooom, how long does it have to go in the oven for?”

“We’re not putting it in yet. We’ll have to do it when everyone’s back, but they’ve just gone for a little while. They’ll be back soon. I think Alec and Magnus will get food while they’re out though but everyone else will come back here. They’ll love what you’re making for them!”

Max nodded and started putting ham on the pizza base. He very cleverly remembered to leave a corner clear of meat, for Simon. “You know the dancing that Alec and Magnus are going to?” Max rubbed his nose and tried not to sneeze. “Is it all boys and girls?”

“What do you mean, Moo?” Robert placed his hands on Max’s shoulders as he worked. 

“Well, Alec is a boy and Magnus is a boy and they’re going to dance together. I was just thinking if other boys dance with boys or if there’s girls dancing with girls at Magnus’ school. Tavvy’s big sister loves a girl, I think. Like Magnus loves Alec.”

“Oh,” Robert smiled at Maryse. “I don’t know, Moo. We don’t really know the others in Magnus’ school.”

“Okay.” Max chewed his lip nervously as he sprinkled cheese onto the pizza.

“Max, come here.” Robert took Max’s hand and Maryse leaned over the kitchen table as they sat him down and she spoke.

“Is something worrying you, sweetheart? Alec and Magnus are okay. They’ll look after each other while they’re there. I promise. They look after each other, don’t they?”

Max spoke in reply to his mother as he looked down. “I, umm…”

“You can talk to us, sweetheart. You can tell us if something is worrying you.”

Max let out a nervous breath. He was worried but him and Jace had talked about being brave. He could be brave. “I heard Izzy talking with Magnus yesterday. They were talking about when Magnus realised that he liked boys the same as girls.”

“Oh.” Maryse pulled one of the chairs out and sat down, taking Max’s hand. “Yes, Max. Magnus is bisexual. He might like boys or girls but he’s with Alec right now and it doesn’t make any difference, okay? He loves him.”

“I know that. I was just thinking that if when I’m older, if I like boys or girls, would you still love me the same as you love Alec and Izzy and Jace? I mean, Alec likes boys and you love him but.. I don’t know... I don’t think I know yet but Jace and Izzy and Alec and Magnus have been so brave that I wanted to be brave too and ask you.”

“Oh, Max,” Maryse hugged him tightly and Robert placed his hand protectively on Max’s head. “You’re still so young. Try not to worry about that yet.”

“True,” Robert spoke softly. “But, Max, whatever you decide, If you like girls, boys or both, or even neither, when you are older and figure it out, or even if you need to talk with someone in order to, then you have our whole family who will love you and accept you for who you are. No matter what, okay?”

Max smiled, looking relieved and like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “Okay. That’s good.” Maryse and Robert both hugged him tightly. Robert roughed up Max’s hair before he decided to jump down off the chair and carry on with making the pizza. He looked a lot more relaxed than he had done for quite a while and Robert brushed Maryse’s face affectionately before they joined him back by the counter.

***

“Oh, the weather is so lovely!” Clary laughed from where she was laid out in the sun in her bikini. Jace handed her a bottle of sunscreen and she rolled her eyes before taking it, slightly more cooperative as he put some into his own hand and moved to rub it over her shoulders.

“It really is.” Izzy took a sip from her drink can. Alec and Magnus were lying close together in their swimming trunks and Alec had his eyes closed. Magnus’ arm was over Alec’s middle, absentmindedly tracing with his finger as he snuggled into Alec’s bare chest. Simon was sat up with his hands behind himself, watching as a crab made its way across the sand.

“Hey, Magnus?” Magnus looked up and smiled as Clary spoke. “We were thinking of going shopping tomorrow if you want to join me and Izzy? I was just wondering what time you would want to go if you’re getting in late tonight.”

“Hmm.” Magnus sat up and stretched out his arms. “We could go at eleven and get lunch if you wanted. We’ll be staying at mine tonight so if Alec drives home then you could meet us at Izzy’s if you don’t mind driving. You’re probably the best bet out of the three of us if I can’t drive. Isabelle also can’t drive,” Magnus winked, teasing Izzy. “But that’s not because of medical reasons.”

“Hey!” Izzy laughed as Jace put his arm around Clary’s neck and kissed the side of her head from where he was sitting behind her.

“Hang on.” Jace tilted his head. “Mom said earlier that you told your father you’re staying at our house tonight. Which is it?”

“Umm,” Magnus blushed slightly and Jace laughed.

“Oh, I get it. Very late night out then.”

“Jace, don’t tease him.” Clary stood up, holding out her hand. “Come on, let’s go in the ocean.”

“Oh, can we take Honey with us?!”

“Sure, but you’re cleaning out your father’s car when it’s covered in sand and smells like wet dog.” Magnus unclipped Honey’s collar and she stood up calmly. “Honey, release.” She jumped around excitedly as Jace looked in his bag for a tennis ball.

“Fine. Come on, girl! Where’s the ball?!” Jace threw it down the beach and honey raced after it as he and Clary followed hand in hand.

“Watch her if you’re taking her right in! You can throw the ball in the ocean but don’t tire her out too much!”

“Magnus, she’ll be okay.” Alec sat up, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ middle. “You are such an overbearing parent.”

“Am not.” Magnus looked at him disapprovingly before breaking into a grin and kissing him quickly.

“So are! Remember when we took her for her vaccinations?!”

Simon moved to sit down next to Izzy, and they all watched as Jace tried to pull Clary into the ocean. “What happened when you took her for vaccinations?”

Alec snorted. “Magnus cried.”

“Did not!”

“You did! He was worse than she was! The vet asked him if he wanted to wait outside!”

Magnus moved to sit across Alec’s lap, shutting him up as he laughed and rubbed their noses together. Alec laid back, Magnus’ hand on his face as they kissed one another.

“Okay, rabbits! Cool it with the PDA!” Izzy rolled her eyes as she lay back down and put her sunglasses over her eyes.

A little time passed as Izzy could feel herself drifting off. Alec and Magnus were whispering softly as they lay in a tangle together, kissing every so often. Clary could be heard laughing, both over Honey’s barking and the ocean waves as Jace tried to splash them both.

“Hey, Iz? I’m going to read, okay?” Izzy nodded her head at the sound of Simon’s hushed voice.

“Fine,” She whispered. “Just be quiet. Alec doesn’t know yet.”

“Okay.” Simon grinned as he lay down on his front, opening his comic book so that he could read to the baby.

***

“I think they’re done.”

“Maryse, no. They’ve only just gone in.”

“Look at the colour!” Maryse laughed as Max ran past. Surprisingly, he’d never made cakes with both of his parents before. “They’re done!”

“They’re not!” Robert laughed as Maryse pulled the tray out without needing a cloth. “Okay, tip.” Robert poked his finger into one of the cakes, pulling it out as it was covered in raw batter. “If it’s still runny, it’s not a cake. It’s a beverage.” Max laughed as Maryse reached into the cupboard above them. She pulled out a straw and stuck it into one of the cakes as Max clapped and jumped up and down. Robert hugged her around the waist, burying his face in the side of her neck and wondering if they should start over. He shook his head. They didn’t need to.

Okay, so maybe things weren’t perfect. The pizza on the top was more of a weird triangle shape and all of them had flour on their faces, but where was the fun in perfect?

***

_Honey run! Honey jump! Honey splash! Rawhhh!! Oh, Honey loves the big sandbox! Honey never wants to leave! Honey paddle, paddle, padleeee! Paws on floor, paws on floor! Honey shake blurbubbub!_

“Come here, girl!” 

_Yas, hello nice friends! Pat pat. Shakeeee! Oh, sorry! Ha! Ball?! Where’s ball?!”_

“Clary, look at the time. We better head back up.”

“Sure thing. Let’s go.”

_Oh! Ball is in sea! Honey jump aha! Splooosh. Paddle paddle. Honey loves her fwends and is really thankful that they’re playing with her. Honey catch up in a minute! Honey’s coming! She’s nearly got it! Aha! Omnomhoneygottheball. Tuurrrn. Paddle. Paddle. Honey too far to see everyone else so she must go back. Have to stay by Papawoof but also by Isobel. Honey’s got important duty. She cares for her family. Isobel is having a tinyyy baby and Honey has to protec and keep them both safe. Honey is going to protect them. And look after them. Honey is going to be the best doggo ever. And when the baby comes, Honey is going to love him. And sleep by him and bring him dog toys. But most importantly, Honey is going to love him._

_Ahh Honey tired *yawwn* Yay, Honey on sand! Honey stop. Honey pause. Sniiffff._

_Something’s wrong!_

***

“Just a second!”

Asmodeus checked the time on the wall as he rushed around without his shirt on. The room was freezing, and he rubbed at the goose bumps on his arms as he raced around. Lily wasn’t supposed to be there yet, and he definitely wasn’t decent enough for company. Lily knocked again. She knew she was welcome to come in when she wanted but it didn’t mean she liked to. She’d walked in once to As in just his underwear and they hadn’t spoken for a week.

“Argh, okay! Hang on!” Asmodeus rushed over to the door, sliding the chain across. “I thought you weren’t going to be here until later!”

“Well, the stupid restaurant doesn’t do reservations! I figured if we go now then we-” Lily blinked as Asmodeus opened the door and rushed back into the kitchen. “-might... get a table before they’re… full.”

“I promise, it’ll be fine.” Asmodeus ran over to the couch, grabbing his shirt and putting his arms in.

Lily scoffed at him as she set her bag down and sat at the table. She was wearing a long blue dress which she’d thought was a bit overkill. She didn’t go out much. Was it too much for dinner with a friend? “That’s not ironed.” 

“So?”

“So!? You can’t go out to a nice restaurant and not have an ironed shirt! Do you even own one?”

“Of course, I own an iron!” Asmodeus walked past Lily with his shirt open, moving to look in the cupboard under the sink. She turned her head slightly as he walked past and put her hand on her face. Asmodeus’ house was definitely a lot hotter than hers. “Somewhere. Aha! Here it is! I think ironing clothes is pointless anyway, but Magnus has a thing for it. The day before he went to the movies, when Alec was in hospital, he made me get a new one. He came home with his shirt all scruffed up anyway, but I never asked… understandably.” Asmodeus held the iron up cluelessly. In all honesty, he’d tried it a few times to no success. As he went to pull the ironing board out from the side cupboard, a load of Christmas decorations fell out.

“Oh, for goodness sake, come here!” Asmodeus stepped back as Lily pulled the board out, assembling it efficiently and taking the iron from him. “You know I don’t like this gender stereotype nonsense, so you’ll have to learn. As, you can’t not know how to iron a shirt!”

“I do know how to iron a shirt!!” Asmodeus pulled his arms from his sleeves and chucked the shirt down on the table. His hands fumbled as he grabbed the iron from Lily, and he tried to pretend he knew which buttons to press. He chucked it down on the ironing board and crossed his arms as he smirked. Lily looked angry at him but was smiling underneath it. “Okay-” She scoffed. “In my defence- well It’s not the same as the old one, Lils!”

“Oh-you-incompetent!” Lily laughed she picked up the shirt and hit him with each word. Asmodeus pushed her back a little too roughly and caught her waist as she nearly lost her balance. Both of them froze in place.

“You okay?” He held onto her, not knowing where to move as her hand rested over his bare middle.

“I’m-” She breathed in and they grinned at one another silently, Asmodeus’ hands around her back. “I’m great. I umm… I guess I better show you how it’s done then...” Asmodeus’ eyes went wide. “The- the shirt, I mean.”

“Oh, of course, of course.” Asmodeus finally pulled his hands away as Lily stood up, scratching the back of his head. “Let’s- let’s do it... And then we go out for food.”

“Exactly. Just two friends.”

“Having food....”

“Exactly.”

***

“Izzy, watch your step. I don’t want you to slip. I am on guard and determined to keep my family safe.”

Izzy smiled at her boyfriend, shaking her head at his whispered request. “Simon, I’m fine, okay? Oh, look at that shell!” Izzy leaned down over the rock pool, Simon clutching her hand to stop her slipping. He could hear Magnus and Alec who were higher up the rock again and they were all a little higher up than Simon would have liked. “Isn’t it pretty?” Izzy held the shell out as she stood up and Simon held it up to the light.

“Yes, it’s a nice one. You know I’ve got a drill at home that I bought for making an X-wing model, you know, from Star Wars? I could use it and put this on a necklace for you if you wanted-”

“Hey, guys!”

Simon and Izzy turned around, looking over the edge of the black rock. Clary and Jace were below, holding hands where they stood on the damp sand. The ends of Clary’s hair were dripping and turned a darker red by the ocean water. “What are you all doing all the way up there?!””

Simon replied to Clary. “Looking in the rockpools!” He turned his head to look up and shielded his eyes as Alec and Magnus’ shadows came up behind them. Both of them had bare feet and were carrying their flip flops in their hands.

“Jace?!” Alec shouted. “Where is-” Alec moved down to stand on a different ledge, looking into the distance. Honey was barrelling up the beach, kicking sand up behind her as she sprinted. “What’s she doing?” They all watched for a moment, until Honey skidded towards them, barking loudly as she apparently looked for a way to get up to the rock.

“What is she doing?!” Jace let go of Clary’s hand and tried to catch Honey’s collar as he shouted up to Alec. “She see a bird or something?”

“No!” Alec shouted down. “She’s being trained not to chase-” Alec looked down, watching as Honey ran back and forth, obviously in distress. Clary was holding her hands up, trying to get Honey’s attention. Alec glanced up again at Magnus, who was crouched on the rock above him and trying to grab a starfish. “Magnus, come down to me a minute.” Alec held his hand up as he spoke calmly. Magnus stood up in confusion, dropping his flip flops and putting them on.

“What’s going on?”

Clary watched as Honey followed Magnus’ movements. As he scrambled down to reach Alec, Honey anxiously followed from the ground and Clary caught on to what was happening. She appeared calm but her voice shook as she spoke. “Alec, get him off the rock.”

“That’s what I’m doing.” Alec spoke quietly as he helped Magnus climb down to his level.

“Alexander, what the hell are you doing?” Alec jumped down a level again and his ankle nearly gave way in the panic. He gestured for Magnus to follow him and once Magnus had sat on the edge and moved forward, Alec caught his waist to help him down.

“Everything’s fine. I just think we should sit on the sand for a while.” Alec didn’t want to panic Magnus but as he started subconsciously shaking out his arm, it confirmed Alec’s suspicions on what Honey had been trying to tell them. Alec’s heart started beating faster as he tried to get Magnus to safety.

They jumped down another level, Alec going first and Magnus following behind. Izzy and Simon joined the others at the bottom as Alec and Magnus finally got down to the beach.

The exact second that Magnus put his foot over the soft sand, his eyes rolled back and he fell sideways with a thud. 

By the time Magnus hit the floor, Izzy was in hysterics and Honey was running over to lie down next to him. Everyone followed, all of them crowding around and trying to help as Magnus lay rigid on the ground.

“Everyone quiet! Give him space!” Alec breathed quickly as he spoke, remaining calm as he gave directions. “Simon, I want you to take the girls. Go back to our bags. Leave the girls there but bring back Magnus’ backpack. Go!” Izzy was crying into her hands and Simon helped her to get up. She’d dropped down to kneeling by Magnus’ head and resisted against Simon’s grip before following with Clary in tow.

“How can I help?” Jace dropped to his knees as Alec tried to unbutton Magnus’ collar. Magnus’ whole body was tense, but his eyes were open and darting, flicking back and forth rapidly as Alec directed Jace to help pull him onto his side.

“Can you unzip your jacket? I’m going to lift his’ head so ball it up and put it underneath.” The two of them worked quickly and calmly together and a minute later, Simon came skidding over with Magnus’ bag. This was a different seizure than before and Alec tried to focus, remembering what Magnus had said during their car ride a while back.

_“It’s an overly complicated process if you ask me. Oh- and ‘Atonic’ seizures make your body go rigid and you lose your balance.”_

“I got it!” Simon knelt down next to Alec just as Magnus’ arms started to relax. His eyes went still, his expression went vacant as he stared blankly, and Simon looked between the two others. “Is- is he okay?”

“There you go. Give him a second to come around.” Alec squeezed Magnus hand. “Hey, baby. I’m here. He’ll- he’ll come around in a second. That’s it.” A moment later, Magnus finally blinked and Alec let out a breath. Honey got up from where she’d been lying down calmly, moving to lick Magnus’ hand.

“What happened?” Magnus groaned. “I remember the sun- reflecting off the sea and my head went funny-” He touched his hand to his jaw and moved it slightly. “Why are you all staring at me?”

Jace patted Magnus’ hand. “Hey, you’re okay. You-” Jace looked at Alec and he nodded. Jace wasn’t sure on the protocol but it was obvious Alec was. Jace didn’t know if Alec had seen Magnus have many seizures but he’d been remarkably efficient and level headed if he hadn’t.  “You had a small seizure...”

“I did?” Honey rested her head on Magnus’ chest, nuzzling into him. “Hello.” Magnus rubbed his eye before asking to be helped to sit up. Alec was quickly writing down In Magnus’ notebook, quietly checking the time on his phone. Simon and Jace nodded at each other in agreement, each taking one of Magnus’ hands in a brotherly way. As they helped him up, Honey simply moved herself and laid across his lap.

“You scared us then.” Simon chuckled softly. “I’ve never seen one of those before.”

“Me either,” Jace agreed. “Does it hurt?”

“No, I don’t remember it. My jaw hurts though but it’ll be fine.”

“Do we need to call someone?”

“No, I’ll be totally fine in a bit. I might just need to sleep it off for a few hours.” Magnus looked over to Alec who was sifting through the backpack. He popped open one of Magnus’ tablets into his hand, remembering exactly what he’d been shown before, and passed it to him with a bottle of water. “Alexander... are you okay?”

“Alec was amazing.” Jace smiled up, his face full of pride. “He was so calm.”

Alec smiled modestly and Simon moved so he could sit down next to Magnus. Alec bumped their heads together, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ shoulders and kissing his temple, his lips lingering as he pulled Magnus against him. “You’re okay. You’re okay. I said we’d get through everything together.”

“I love you, Alexander. Thank you, all of you.”

“Not a problem.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Where are Izzy and Clary?”

“I think they just had a fright.” Simon turned his head and looked up the beach. Izzy had her knees tucked up and was resting her head on them. Clary had her arms around her and was whispering quiet words of reassurance. “They’ll be okay.”

Magnus glanced at Simon. The others didn’t know but Magnus could see the concern in Simon’s face. Izzy was probably hormonal and emotional enough as it was. “I should probably ring my father but time’s getting on a bit anyway. You want to go see the girls and then head home?”

After gathering everything up, all four of them stood together. Jace and Simon walked ahead with Alec and Magnus behind as they whispered softly to each other and Honey trotted next to them. “Alexander, I don’t want this to change any plans for tonight, okay? I promise you, I’m perfectly fine.”

Alec patted Magnus’ hand between his own, Magnus’ backpack over his shoulder. “Are you sure? Because I’m totally fine with us staying in and watching a movie.”

“No, I want to go. Like I said, it’s nothing a few hours of sleep won’t fix. I guess it’s just a part of my life now. I’ve had them before, and I’ll have them again. It’s not a big deal but it’s just something we’ll have to adapt to. The sun was just too bright, and I didn’t think of it reflecting in my eyes.”

Alec nodded before speaking. “We’ll have to remember to make sure you wear your sunglasses when it’s this bright... I’m always going to look after you, Magnus, so you never have to worry. I’m never going to let anything hurt you.” He shook Magnus hand to emphasize what he was saying, and Magnus smiled at him. “You should know,” he lifted Magnus’ hand as he stepped over a piece of driftwood. “,Honey knew it was going to happen. It could have been so much worse. Because of her, I was able to get you down to the sand before you fell.”

“She did?” Magnus looked down and Honey looked up at him from by his side. She was panting and almost had a proud smile on her face. “But she hasn’t been taught to do that yet.”

“I guess she just knew,” Alec chuckled. “She’s an angel that was sent to us.”

“She is.”

*** 

“Shame about the restaurant.”

“Hmm,” Asmodeus agreed as he laid with his legs up on the couch. Despite leaving earlier and only having a little distance to walk, for some reason, there hadn’t been any tables left when they had gotten there. Must have been Lily’s short legs. He grumbled under his breath at his bruised pride. He adored Lily but she had started complaining about her heels on the way back and he had just ended up carrying her. He’d told her not to wear them, but had she listened to him? No, and there was no point to the twenty minute lecture on domestic chores either.

He hadn’t noticed that it was starting to get dark. The curtains were shut, and the room was finally warm as both the movie and the fire blared in front of them. Lily loved the movie and he’d let her choose it, even though he didn’t understand what it was about, and she had made him watch it a thousand times already. Instead of watching the movie, his attention was focused on Lily as she laid next to him, her dark eyelashes fluttering as she tried to keep herself awake. She yawned, closing her eyes for a moment as she stretched and snuggled into him, putting her left arm over his waist and making him hold his arms up. Maybe suggesting they both put pyjamas on was a bad idea. Everything was a little too comfy and snuggly for his liking. As Lily eventually fell asleep, Asmodeus picked up the TV remote, casting the room in silence. He glanced down at her, slowly moving his right hand and putting it under hers to lace their fingers together, just to see how they fitted, for no reason whatsoever. Lily smiled in her sleep, moving her head as Asmodeus moved to lie further down and close his eyes. As he did so, Lily lifted her own to look at him. They were both exhausted from the events of the past few days and they’d both had a few glasses of wine. Something made his heart pang, but he couldn’t quite place what. They had been talking earlier about the fact that it was nearly Magnus’ eighteenth. Maybe his only son growing up was affecting him more than he had been admitting to himself.

Lily let out a breath, pulling her hand from their linked hold and putting it on Asmodeus’ cheek. He closed his eyes as they shared the same breath, Lily’s thumb brushing at the edge of his bottom lip. “As?” She whispered softly.

Before he could answer, there was a sound from outside and the two of them sprung apart.

“Hey, Father.” Magnus walked in the door, his key in his hand and Honey’s lead in the other as he pulled her in behind him. “Lily! I didn’t know you’d be here!”

Lily rubbed her eyes as she stood up, walking over to Magnus and taking his bag from him. He released Honey from her collar, and she ran off to have a drink. “Hey, sweetheart! I know, plan changes and things. Have you eaten and drunk enough today?” Magnus nodded, unzipping his bag as Lily held it.

“Yes, we ate when we got there. Had a stupid seizure though…”

“You didn’t?!”

Asmodeus rushed over from the couch, lifting Magnus chin to make him meet his eyes. “You okay?” He grumbled as he moved Magnus’ head to the side. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“No,” Magnus shook his head, rambling as he did so when he wanted to change the topic. “Alec was great. He knew exactly what to do. He wrote in the book, but I haven’t looked at it. I’m not bothered but I want to sleep for a bit. It was because of the reflection off the sea and I forgot to wear my sunglasses so don’t worry. You wouldn’t believe it, but Honey actually knew I was going to have one! She was so great!” Magnus paused when he realised that Lily was looking sideways at Asmodeus. “Everything okay with you two?”

“Everything’s fine,” Asmodeus grumbled again, answering for them both. “That’s good about the dog but are you okay to go out tonight, Son? Do you think you should stay in? Ask Alec to come over instead?”

“Father, I’m fine. We’re still going out as planned. Clary and Izzy are coming over to help me get ready.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“I am. I’m going to have a sleep and a shower if you don’t mind letting them in when they get here.”

“Of course, we will.” Lily smiled, hugging Magnus gently. He closed his eyes, leaning his head against her as she rocked him slightly; Like she had done on his first day of kindergarten. Like she had on the day of his first diagnosis. Like the day he had come home giddy and had blurted to them that he was in love and Lily had jumped up and down in the kitchen with him.

Asmodeus watched quietly as she brushed his son’s cheek. Magnus was his and Aminah’s son, alright, both of them through and through. But while he was also his own person, growing every day into an amazing young man, he was also something else. As he watched, Asmodeus could see it. While he had all of these parts of his soul, shaped by all the people in his life or those who would ever shape his life, he was as much Lily’s as Magnus was his father’s.

***

Maryse and Robert looked up as Max ran down the stairs excitedly. He whooped as he ran in, clapping his hands. “Mom! Dad! Alec looks so awesome! Ahhh!” He jumped up as down in front of the couch, making them laugh as Simon and Jace walked in together.

“Well?” Maryse smiled at the three of them as they joined Max.

“He’s just finishing up. Needed a second, I think.” Jace beamed and it was the happiest, Maryse thought, that he’d looked in a while.

“He’s really excited.” Simon joined in and Maryse remembered that tonight had a serious note. As soon as Alec and Magnus were off then she was going with Simon and Izzy for their first scan.

“Mom?”

Maryse stood up and turned around, putting her hand over her mouth. She’d never been prouder than in that moment. Alec walked over, his hair perfectly slicked back as he stood in a dark blue suit and tie.

“Oh, Alec.” Maryse walked up to him as her lip wobbled. “You look so handsome.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Alec blushed slightly as Robert agreed.

“Son, we’re so proud of you. For getting through everything you have. You’re inspiring.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Maryse hugged him Alec tightly before moving away and wiping her eyes. Max was jumping up and down on the couch as she called Jace and Simon back over and hugged both of them too. “I’m proud of all my boys.” Max jumped down and ran over so Robert could pick him up.

“And Magnus, Mama?”

“Yes, of course.” There was a beep from outside and her and Robert nodded at one another. “Speaking of which, Alec we need the car tonight.”

“You do?” Alec straightened his jacket. “I thought I was picking Magnus up?”

Robert chuckled as he set Max down. “Not exactly. We have something else planned for you.”

***

“Magnus, you look amazing.” Izzy pouted as Magnus checked himself out in the mirror of his walk-in wardrobe. Clary was excitedly skipping up and down as she admired Magnus’ clothes and pulled out things she loved. She pulled a scarf from around a coat hanger, wrapping it around her shoulders.

“Scrap girl’s night! We’re hanging out in here next time. Look at this! You have nicer clothes than any of us!”

Magnus looked up as Izzy did the finishing touches to his eyeliner. “You can borrow anything that takes your fancy. I mean, most of it probably won’t fit you, Clary, but there’s plenty of accessories and things on your left.”

Clary turned around excitedly, cooing over a pair of boots that Magnus had, making the other two laugh as she put them on and tried to walk in them without her feet slipping out.

“Hey, Isabelle? You okay? Sorry I scared you today. I meant to ask how you were doing and-”

“Yep, I’m almost done. Magnus, of course, I’m okay. I was just worried about you but I’m glad you’re okay now?” Her hand shook slightly as she switched to the other eye.

“Iz, come on. What’s bothering you? We’re here for you.”

“It’s just that-” As she finished, Izzy sat down on the ottoman in the middle of the room. “Seeing all your clothes made me think. There’s so much were going to have to do. Time will fly by and I won’t fit in my clothes anymore and then it’s diapers and cribs- I guess it’s just a lot to process.”

“It so is. It’s huge, but you know what? We’ve seen how you look after Max. You’ll be an amazing mom. Plus, you will have all of us battling to hold the baby so there’ll be plenty of help around.”

“I guess that’s true.” Izzy broke out in a smile. “Thank you.”

“Oh, I have an idea!” Magnus scanned the racks of clothes as he got up, his eyes moving carefully as he looked for something. “Here we go. I’ve never worn them, but you might like them…” He moved several of the hangers away, bringing out a box. Inside were several plaid button downs, designed to be long in the body. Izzy’s eyes lit up as she took the box and stood up to hold one against herself in the mirror. They were the right cut that she could wear them now but loose enough that even with an eventual baby bump, she’d still be able to fit in them.

“Magnus…”

“I’m not saying you have to take them now if you don’t want to, but we can always come up with ideas, can’t we, Clary? They’ll be here whenever you want them.”

Izzy clutched the shirt to her front. “Are you ready to go downstairs and show your dad and Lily?”

“Actually,” Magnus turned one of his rings. “Do you two mind giving me a second? I’ll follow you straight down.”

“Sure.”

“Not at all.”

The two girls walked out silently, Clary smiling and wiggling her fingers as she pulled the door closed. Magnus looked at himself in his reflection before pulling out his mother’s locket from under his shirt. The girls had done an excellent job in helping him. Although this wasn’t his first time dressed up and out with Alec, tonight was a little more formal than anything they’d done before. Magnus chuckled to himself as he pulled the locket over his head and sat down. That night with the dance in Alec’s hospital room seemed like a lifetime ago now.

“Well, Mama. Tonight’s a big night.” Magnus looked down at the picture and back at his reflection in front of him, moving his head and trying to find some resemblance. “I just- I hope I’ve made you proud, Mama. After everything that’s happened, I’ll just be glad to know that I did you well. It hasn’t been easy, has it? We’ve all been through so much. I just think that as long as you stick by those who love you, everything will turn out okay, won’t it? I told Alec once that we have to be stronger than what’s trying to hurt us, and I think you’ll agree. Whatever happens, with Izzy, me, Jace, or any of us, we’re going to look after each other. I miss you, Mama. I wish you were here all the time.” Magnus wiped his nose as he sniffled. “Today’s going to be a happy day. Even if you’re not here and you don’t get to see me walk down those stairs tonight, I know you’ll still be there with me.” Magnus looked at the locket, kissing it gently before he closed it and pulled it back over his head. “Love you, Mama. I promise to live my best life for you.”

Magnus took one last look at himself, straightening his dark blue bowtie and taking a deep breath. He did the buttons up on his jacket, smiling at the fact that it was getting easier for him to do so. He nodded to himself once, walking out of his room and onto the landing. He could hear voices below, talking quietly. Clary and Izzy hadn’t had much interaction with his father or with Lily yet, but they all seemed to be getting along.

As Magnus walked down the steps, the hushed talking went silent and he couldn’t help himself grinning at either the stern but proud look on Asmodeus’ face or the fact that each of the girls who were jumping up and down and tearing up with their hands over their mouths.

“Magnus…” Lily clutched her hand over her chest and touched his gently as he stood on the bottom stair. “If your Mom could see you...”

Asmodeus walked over and Lily moved to the side, obviously hunting for tissues. “Son,” His voice caught as he adjusted Magnus bowtie that was already straight. “She would be so proud.”

“Could you guys… not make me cry?” Magnus sniffled as he laughed, trying not to mess up the impeccable job that the girls had done on him. Lily handed him a tissue, silently, before checking the time on her phone. Honey was bouncing around excitedly, enjoying some attention from Izzy.

“Well, As, do you think we should take him outside?”

Magnus wiped his eyes. “Okay, I’m a tad high maintenance but leaving me out on the curb is a little cruel at this point, isn’t it?”

Lily laughed as she took his hand. “We’d never leave you on the curb!”

“They’d bring you back,” Asmodeus grumbled in his usual humour as Lily walked Magnus over to the door. “We’d have to take you further than that.”

“Okay, so what are we doing?”

Lily opened the front door as she held Magnus’ hand. Izzy and Clary following behind excitedly. Asmodeus looked up the street and laughed at the confused look on his son’s face.

“Wait for it.”

They all listened for a moment and Magnus looked at the others with wide eyes. There was a sound of tyres and above that, the sound of a young man whooping excitedly.

“Is it… is that Alec?”

They all looked up the street as a black limo came into view. The sunroof at the back was open and Alec was laughing ecstatically, a bunch of roses in his hands.

“Mr. Bane,” he shouted as they pulled up. “Can I escort you to a dance?!”

***

“Jace? Can I come in?”

Jace smiled up from where he was laying on his stomach. His headphones were on his head and he was resting on his arms quietly. His phone had fallen on the floor a little while ago, but he had just let the songs run through on their own.

“Hey, angel. What are you doing here?”

Jace rolled over and pushed his headphones away as Clary sat down next to him. She brushed a piece of hair out of his eyes. “Just wanted to see you, that’s all. It’s been a long day and I wanted to see how you were holding up. Me and Izzy just walked back but she’s gone out with your Mom.”

“Oh, okay.” Jace lifted his arm up, inviting Clary to lie down next to him. He wouldn’t admit it, but it was one of his favourite past times. They could lie together for hours and just talk about everything or nothing. While he’d been finding that his medication dampened down his emotions a bit, he still felt an overwhelming warmth as Clary lay next to him. She made him feel alive again. “I’m good. Did you see Magnus off okay?”

Clary put her arm over Jace’s chest, nodding as she smiled. “Yep, he’s all good. You should have seen his face when Alec came around the corner in that limo! It was like something out of a movie.”

“That’s good.” Jace scratched his stomach. “I can’t get over Alec today. I mean, we know how perfect they are together but watching Alec kiss him to make sure he was safe was just something else. The only way to describe it would be to say that they’re perfect together. Soulmates.”

“Mmm,” Clary agreed.

“You know, I always thought that loving someone was like sheet music. It can be messy or crazy or when you play wrong notes, no one knows of the mistake but you… but when you find that perfect accompaniment… your melody… that person completes your song and it sounds so much better. You can’t go back to being solo then because it’s not the same.” He paused. “Clary, once those notes were down in ink… I knew that I couldn’t and never wanted to ever take them away again. I just had to find the right person to duet with.”

Clary reached over to touch her hand to Jace’s face. She kissed him gently as she pouted at him. “That’s so beautiful. Maybe it could be the same for my art...” She kissed him again softly. “I was just waiting for everything black and white to be coloured again. You know,” Clary sat up slightly and Jace followed. “-maybe we could go dancing someday. I mean, I don’t know if I’m any good, but I think we’d be a good fit.”

“I think we would.” Jace brushed her face and Clary blushed slightly, her pale cheeks slightly pink. “Or I have another idea.” Jace moved over to the other side of his bed, picking his phone up off the floor. He pulled the headphones out and plugged the phone into the speaker on his bedside table. Max had left his light in Jace’s room and Jace had liked it enough not to immediately give it back. He turned the light switch down low, flicking on the lamp as soft music played and the room was cast with tiny stars.

Clary grinned as Jace held out his hand to her. She took it as he pulled her closer before putting her arms around his neck. With the whole room lit up in gold, the two of them moved together gently. She rested her head on his chest as they closed their eyes, quietly promising each other that whatever happened, everything was going to be okay.

***

Alec laughed as Magnus topped up his glass from the back of the limo. It had been a surprise but a welcome one and Magnus was still beaming as he had been from the second he’d seen Alec coming down the street. “Okay, woah! Not too much! Our parents said we could drink a little bit so let’s not go too mad.”

“It’s only prosecco!” Magnus tapped their glasses, making a quiet clink. “I’m good. Besides, I want to remember this night.”

“Me too.” Alec grinned as Magnus hugged him tightly. “Let’s just not go too crazy.” They both took a sip of their drinks and Alec widened his eyes. “Woah!”

“This is good! Okay maybe we should set them down before we drink the lot. I have a lot of reputation riding on tonight and I want rumours going around that I have a smoking hot boyfriend, not that I’m drunk off my ass and making a fool of myself because I’ve lost my tolerance.”

Alec shook his head as he laughed. Magnus was something else. “You know what? We needed this. I’m so glad we’re going.”

“Me too.” Magnus looked out the window as he held Alec’s hand. “I don’t think we’re that far away. Never have I ever… been kissed in a limo before…”

“Okayy!” Alec took Magnus’ glass and set to the side with his own. “We’re not playing ‘Never have I ever’!”

“We’re not?!”

“No! God, I love you so much!”

“I love you, too! Okay, I have a better idea and believe me, I wouldn’t be messing up my perfectly styled hair if I didn’t have a good reason.” Alec’s eyes widened. “No, not that! Come here!” Magnus pressed the button that was on the door and the sunroof opened above them. They both looked up.

“The stars are incredible.” Alec smiled. Magnus wasn’t looking at the stars though. As he turned to face him, Magnus was looking at his entire world. He grinned, holding tightly onto Alec’s hand as he stood up. Alec followed and the wind whipped at both of their faces as the stars disappeared and they entered the tunnel.

“Stick your arms out!”

“Magnus, no. It’s not safe!”

“It is. Can you trust me?!”

“With my life, apparently!”

It had been so long since Magnus had been anywhere near this place. The last time he’d been here, he’d been called crazy. He was lonely, hanging around people who he didn’t care about. In all honesty, he’d been suffering. He remembered what he had thought to himself that day and it applied to him and Alec. 

_It is only when you have been so close to dying, that you can truly open your eyes and start living._

He hadn’t believed it truly at the time but everything he had lived through, everything medical procedure or doctor’s appointment or bout of radiation that he’d had, he had told himself that he would be rewarded. He tilted his head back, no longer standing alone. 

Whatever they had been through or would go through in their future, Magnus assured himself that they could get past it together. That was the beauty in having those who you love around you  He’d been in a dark place once but that was over with now.

However dark and long they are, tunnels always have an end.

***

“Okay, if you would like to follow me in…”

Izzy sighed out nervously as she stood up, holding her gown in the back. They’d met the sonographer a little while before and Izzy had been disappointed to find out that it was too early for her to have a regular ultrasound on her abdomen. Usually a scan wouldn’t even be offered this early but as she was so young and they needed to be sure there was no chance of ectopic pregnancy, the one she would need involved an external probe that sounded horrifying.

“Mom?” Izzy turned to Maryse. “Is it okay if you stay here a minute? Just until it’s all started?”

“Of course, sweetheart. I can wait here if you want.” Maryse nodded and sat down in the chair. “I’ll be right here.”

Izzy turned to Simon, offering her remaining hand. She was more than slightly terrified and had expected him to be too but at least on the outside he appeared calm. “Let’s get this done then.” Simon nodded, smiling anxiously at the sonographer as they went in and closed the door.

“Okay, Isabelle. “ The sonographer was sweet and calm. Izzy was thankful she wasn’t going to have some brute digging down there at least. “I just want to ask you about any symptoms you’ve been having. Have you been having any nausea?” Izzy nodded as the sonographer pulled up a chair opposite her. She tried to keep her eyes on the woman but right in the middle of the room was a bed with stirrups and it looked like some sort of medieval torture device. “Okay. Any mood swings?” Izzy shook her head and glared viciously at Simon as he opened his mouth to speak. The sonographer circled ‘yes’. “Any bleeding?”

“A little but the doctor says that was normal.”

“You’d expect that, but you’d need to come in if you experience any severe cramping or bleeding. Okay. If you want to jump up on the table for me.” The woman looked at Simon.

“Simon.”

“Simon can hold your hand. We’ll take it as slow as we need to, okay. Have a sit down and when you’re ready, you can put your feet up.” Izzy shuffled over to the bed, taking a few breaths as the woman spoke. “At this time, we’d expect the heart rate around ninety to a hundred and ten beats per minute.” The woman spoke gently as Izzy sat on the bed. “I have to inform you that there is a chance there won’t be a viable heartbeat. That being said, a heartbeat at this stage does not mean that the embryo will definitely survive to full term. Even if we can’t find a heartbeat today then we’d ask you back in a week or two to check again. The main thing is to be sure that any implantation is happening in the right place. If that occurs outside of the womb, so in one of the fallopian tubes, then we call that an ectopic pregnancy.”

Simon patted Izzy’s hand. She was gripping it tightly and making his fingers numb. “And what do you do if that happens? Can you move it?”

The woman spoke quietly as Izzy put her legs up. She hated feeling so exposed but knew it had to be done. “The pregnancy wouldn’t be viable. We’d wait for the embryo to pass on its own or give Isabelle an injection of methotrexate to stop it growing. Let’s just see though, yes?”

Simon nodded quietly. The past few weeks had been consumed with arguments to keep the baby. He hadn’t stopped to think that there was a chance they wouldn’t have one.

“You drank your thirty two ounces of water before? Okay, some gentle pressure here.” Izzy nodded and screwed up her face as the woman inserted the probe inside her. “That’s it. You’re okay. That’s good. It’s just so your bladder is nice and full. It lifts your intestines and allows for a clearer picture of your pelvic organs.” Izzy opened her eyes. It was uncomfortable and awkward but not painful like she had expected. She glanced at the screen next to her, watching as the woman pressed several buttons. “The sound waves bounce off your internal organs and transmits the feed from inside your pelvis. I’m going to turn the probe now and we’ll get the picture.” She spoke sweetly to Isabelle as she worked, distracting her slightly. “Have you noticed any change to your body shape yet? The muscles at the top of your stomach will start to relax now to make more room for a baby and also for your uterus to lower. It becomes more egg shaped and starts pressing your bladder so you might find you need to wee more.”

“That’s pretty interesting.” Simon laughed softly as Isabelle’s grip loosened on his hands.

“Si? Can you ask my Mom to come in? Is that okay?”

“Of course,” The sonographer continued to look at the screen.

“What is it?”

As Maryse and Simon walked back in and closed the door after them, the woman creased her eyebrows. They all glanced at each other for a few nervous seconds before she pressed a few buttons and the whooshing sound of a heartbeat started coming from the monitor.

***

“I cannot believe that you actually got Raphael out of his house!”

“Hey!”

There were several bouts of laughter as Magnus spoke to Cat and complimented her dark green dress. It wasn’t a colour he had seen on her before, but it suited her. “Ragnor helped me choose it.” Cat smiled as Ragnor walked up behind them, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Hi.”

“Hello.” Ragnor rubbed noses with her and they both grinned. Magnus hadn’t imagined them together but now that they were, he couldn’t see them being apart.

“Well, you two make a very nice pair.”

“Where’s Alec?” Cat moved her dress to the side so she could sit down. The whole hall had been decorated to look like Paris and the school committee had done a brilliant job. They’d also chosen the light displays perfectly to the request of Magnus’ friends, which he greatly appreciated. It meant that he wouldn’t have to worry about any strobe lighting and could just relax.

“Getting us drinks, I think. Oh! Speak of the devil!” Magnus grinned as Alec set their two drinks down, kissing him softly.

“Dios,” Raphael joined in, twirling the straw in his cup. “You guys don’t give it a rest, do you?” He grinned slightly as he took a sip of his drink. “I’m glad you’re happy, Magnus.”

“Thank you, Raphael.”

All of them looked up as the song that was playing ended. The one that followed was from a remake of one of Magnus favourite childhood movies and Alec’s face lit up as he stood, offering out his hand. Magnus followed him, blushing at the catcalls and wolf whistles that came from his friends. Alec led him to the middle of the dance floor, twirling Magnus around once and making him laugh before pulling him in close. Magnus put his arms around Alec’s neck, closing his eyes as their heads rested together and they moved gently to the song.

 

_Maybe some moments weren’t so perfect._

_Maybe some memories not so sweet_

_But we have to know some bad times_

_Or our lives are incomplete._

 

Magnus lifted his head up, brushing Alec’s cheek. Alec leaned into his touch, savouring every sensation. He’d spent a good portion of his life feeling alone but all that was over with now. He’d been through a lot, but he’d found the missing half of his soul along the way. “I love you, Magnus,” Alec mumbled quietly. They wouldn’t find out until a few days later but a good number of people were watching them with admiration.

“I love you too, Alexander.” Magnus couldn’t help smiling as they kissed softly, and he buried his face in Alec’s neck again.

 

_How does a moment last forever?_

_How does our happiness endure?_

_Through the darkest of our troubles,_

_Love is beauty, love is pure._

 

“Magnus, you’re tired.”

“I know,” Magnus admitted quietly before meeting Alec’s eyes again. Alec could feel Magnus letting him take more of his weight as time went on. He sighed. “I know.”

“You know what I’m going to say?”

“I know,” Magnus said again. “It’s been a day. You don’t want to go to a hotel after this, do you?”

“No,” Alec answered. “I’ll show you how much I love you in another way. I want to take you home. I want you warm and I want you safe. You are my soulmate, Magnus, and I promised to look after you so that is what I’m going to do.”

Magnus nodded against him as they swayed softly. “This planning never works, does it?”

“It doesn’t. But I’m okay with that.” Alec closed his eyes as they turned. “It’ll happen when it happens. Don’t worry.” Magnus chuckled against him. “Let’s just live in the moment. Okay?”

“Okay.”

 

_Minutes turn to hours,_

_Days to years then gone._

_But when all else has been forgotten,_

_Still our song lives on._

_How does a moment last forever,_

_When our song lives on?_

***

Shortly after their own dance had ended, Jace collapsed onto his bed as he grinned. Clary lay over him as they both laughed softly, the little lights still sparkling across the ceilings and the walls. “That was fun!” She shook her head. “I really liked that bit where you caught me at the end!”

“I’m-” Jace’s chest shook as he sniggered, making Clary’s head move as she rested on top of him. “I’m just surprised you managed to keep up.”

“Oh! Is that how you want to play?!”

“Yep,” Jace teased. “My dancing skills are unmatched.”

“Okay.” Clary ran her hand down Jace’s chest. “What else are you good at then?”

Jace thought for a second and smirked proudly. “Kissing…”

“Oh! Are you now?!

“Oh totally!” Jace mocked Clary’s expression and pointed his thumb at himself. “I’ve got references.”

“Have you?” Jace nodded as Clary blushed and bit her lip. “Prove it…”

Jace raised his eyebrows, turning his head with his tongue poking between his lips. He lifted Clary’s chin with his two fingers, pressing their lips together softly. She moved to lie on her back and Jace leaned over her, holding his weight but pressing their lips slightly harder. Clary slid her hands up his back until they reached Jace’s head. 

If Jace thought that he was in charge, that was not how it went. Clary pushed him backwards, tucking her hair behind her ear as she slid her hands over his chest and shoulders. He leaned up and kissed her messily as he grinned, still trying to be gentle even though he was sure Clary didn’t want him to be. Clary grinned in reply and Jace’s eyes widened in surprise as she grabbed the bottom of his shirt, quickly pulling it over his head. Her eyes drifted down as she traced the lines of his stomach and a moment later, he flipped them both as they crashed together. They’d kissed before but nothing like this. Still, he let Clary have control as she pulled at the back of his neck as their lips moved together. 

Clary hadn’t imagined tonight going like this. She’d told her parents that she would be home before dark and it was way past that now. Parents- Suddenly, her mind came up with a single thought and she pushed Jace away, making him fall back on the bed. She wished she could tell him. It was nothing against him. She loved him and loved being with him but what had happened with Izzy still worried her. The odds were slim, but Izzy and Simon had slept together once and look what had happened. They could deal with it but could her and Jace under the same circumstances?

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. I totally get it. Clary,” Jace held her hand gently. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t force it-”

“No- no, sweet Jace. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She wished she could explain that she couldn’t help it. She knew she would have to get over this irrational fear sooner or later, but it was just too much at the moment.

“Come here.” Jace moved to sit next to her, his shirt in his hand. He kissed the side of her head and she hugged him gently. “We’re okay, you and me. I know nothing else is, but we are.”

***

“So, are you all looking forward to university?”

The group made sounds of happy agreement as they all sat and ate their food. Magnus’ friends had been sad for him when he had told them that he wouldn’t be finishing but he had assured them all that he couldn’t be happier. Pieces of Magnus’ cake were being cut and laid out on paper plates across the room for anyone who wanted them. He’d had tried to explain that he didn’t want to go over and see it being cut but no one had really understood why. It was being enjoyed but it was strange to see something you had worked so many hours on just being taken apart in front of you.

“It’s not too far away, friend. We’ll be able to see you whenever you like.”

Catarina nodded, agreeing with Ragnor. “Definitely. Wherever you guys get a place, we’ll be able to sort something out.” She went back to talking to Raphael, taking a sip of her drink.

“What do you think?” Magnus whispered in Alec’s ear.

“Getting a place? Both of us?”

“Sure. Once we’re both financially stable enough. I’m sure we could find somewhere nice to rent.”

Alec grinned against Magnus’ neck, making Magnus go all soft as he wrapped his arms around him. “Magnus, are you asking me to move in with you?”

“I mean,” Magnus paused. “I’m not saying it has to happen tomorrow but someday, sure. I’m ready for the next chapter, wherever that is. I don’t mind as long as you’re there”

“Sounds like a plan.” They both picked up their drinks and tapped them.

“To being together.”

***

“Oh, who knows what time they’ll get in. We didn’t even ask where they were staying but I think one of Magnus’ friends-” Jace swung Clary’s hand as they walked slowly through the upstairs landing. There were some voices that could be heard through the floor but the house was never quiet so that was nothing new. “Sounds like Izzy’s home.”

“She is?” Clary swallowed. It was late enough that she thought Izzy had come in and gone to sleep.

“Apparently so. I wonder what’s going on.” Jace spoke carefully. He definitely knew something had been going on lately, but it wasn’t his place to ask. Everyone had their own demons and crosses to bare . He certainly had plenty of his own.

“Jace, maybe we should just stay up here!” Jace continued walking as he held onto Clary’s hand. 

“No, it’s fine. I just want to see what’s going on. I can walk you home then and I’ll apologise to Luke and your Mom for you being back late.”

Clary nodded as they walked down the stairs. She wasn’t even sure what she was worried about and was actually curious to ask Izzy and Simon how they had gotten on. It wasn’t until they reached the bottom that Jace turned to look at her. It raised more questions than it answered.

As they walked in. Maryse, Izzy and Simon were all watching something on Izzy’s phone. Izzy was hugging Simon’s waist and Maryse had a hand on both of their shoulders. Sharing the confusion, Robert walked up behind them all, making them all turn towards him.

“What’s everyone looking at?”

***

The dance was in full swing by the time Cat, Ragnor and a reluctant Raphael joined Alec and Magnus on the dance floor. The song was upbeat, and Magnus was enjoying himself as he twirled Cat around.

“Excuse me, are you Magnus?”

Magnus turned around, recognising the photographer that he’d seen earlier. There was a backdrop in the corner, set up to take photos of any couples or groups of friends that wanted it later. “I am.”

“Do you and your friends want to come and have your photos taken? I heard about the flash so you can have them done without.”

“Oh, yes! Thank you.” Magnus was thankful that the photographer had been informed, he was lucky even, but it did put a bit of a dampener on the fact that it kind of called an end to the night. While he appreciated the fact that the photographer was doing this, and those in his school year were empathetic, he didn’t want to take advantage so had decided then that he’d ask Alec afterwards if they could go. It just meant that the photographer could take the rest of the photographs for people without having to worry.

They all walked over, and the photographer took a few serious ones of the group and a few silly ones at Magnus request, that Ragnor and Raphael looked especially grumpy in and Magnus knew he would cherish. After that, Ragnor, Cat and Raphael moved to the side, leaving just Alec and Magnus in front of the backdrop. The photographer wanted to take some special ones due to the stories he’d heard about this amazing couple. What followed was four photos. One of Alec with his left arm against Magnus’ back, Magnus leaning forward slightly, a beautiful one with Magnus looking at the camera and Alec with his hands linked and placed on Magnus’ shoulder, gleaming as he looked at him, a third with the both of them smiling happily with their heads close together and a fourth; Magnus hugging Alec with his chin on Alec’s shoulder.

“That’s great, guys! Really great!” The photographer turned back and handed them a photo strip each with a little Eiffel tower printed on the bottom. The larger ones would be ready in a few days so they could pick them up from the school then.

As they were looking at them together, Cat came up behind them to gush over the pictures. “Ohh! They’re so beautiful!” Magnus allowed himself a few seconds just to take it all in.

He’d never seen himself looking happier.

Alec hugged him tightly as the other three walked back to the middle of the room to dance.

“Alexander, I don’t want to make them sad by telling them we’re going. I don’t know when we’re going to see them again after this. I love them all, but you know how university is. How life is…”

“I understand, “ Alec mumbled quietly. “Hey, I have an idea.”

Magnus turned his head, meeting eyes with Alec over his shoulder. Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead, his lips lingering before breaking out in a grin and taking his hand. Alec pulled him over to the table that the plates of cake were on, tipping two pieces onto one plate before picking it up and running with Magnus, into the corridor.

Magnus laughed as Alec pulled him along, trying not to drop the pieces of cake. “Where are we going?!”

“It’s a surprise!” They turned the corner and Alec opened one of the doors. They’d walked past it earlier and something had caught Alec’s eye. The music from the dance could still be heard but it turned fainter as they walked into the music room and Alec closed the door. He passed Magnus the plate of cake and clapped his hands excitedly. “Your school has a grand piano!” 

Magnus laughed at Alec’s enthusiasm as he kicked his shoes off. His feet were aching, and he was thankful to be able to stretch his toes. “I know, right?! They usually use it for showcases and things. Go ahead! Show me what you can do, Mr Lightwood.”

“Maybe I will.” They both laughed as they ran across the room, each taking a side of the stool. Alec opened the cover of the piano, running his hand across some of the keys. Magnus put the plate of cake on his lap, breaking a piece off and putting it in Alec’s mouth so he didn’t get any frosting on his hands. “Mmm, this is really good!”

Magnus broke another piece off and put it into his own mouth, kissing Alec sweetly. “Come on, then!”

“I’m shy! I’ve never played in front of you before!”

“Alec Lightwood, you are a million things but shy isn’t one of them!”

Magnus watched with pride as Alec sat forward. He pressed down on the keys and an unmistakable sound filled the room. The same song that they’d been dancing to earlier. Alec allowed himself to fall into the song, closing his eyes as he played everything by heart. “What do you think?” There was no reply and Alec stopped playing as he turned to look at Magnus next to him. “What is it?”

“Wait here.” Magnus set the cake down, brushing off his hands and making sure they were clean. Alec waited for a moment, wondering what was going on, and then Magnus returned with a violin, resting it between his chin and his shoulder. He walked back over, tightening the bow in his hands. Magnus grabbed the neck of the violin in his left hand and beamed, holding the bow out to the side.

“Why didn’t you tell me you could play that!”

“I’ve been learning!”

“Go from the start!”

Alec grinned and sat forward again. He had always known how him and Magnus fitted together on a number of levels; when they lay side by side at night, when they both craved the same thing for dinner, when they managed to call one another at the same time, but as they both played, Magnus a little out of practise at first and then blossoming into his old ability, Alec could see how perfectly they played in tune. They played to the same beat. Every note or no matter what the speed that the other played, they could predict exactly what the other was going to do.

“This is amazing!” Magnus mumbled against the chin rest as they reached the end of the song. Alec nodded with his head down, trying to concentrate and not just stare at magnus with his mouth open.

Finally, the song finished, and Magnus set down the violin, rushing over and kissing Alec with his hands either side of Alec’s face.

“You’re amazing!”

“Take a look at yourself! Magnus, I’ve never heard anything like it!”

Magnus hugged Alec tightly and they both closed their eyes for a moment. “Alexander, I don’t want this night to end.”

“Me either.”

It was fitting though, because that’s not how life plans out. Just as the two of them broke apart and went to kiss one final time, Alec’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Isabelle texted. She wants us back. She says she’s sorry but it’s urgent.”

***

“Mom, what’s going on?”

Maryse blinked between Simon and her daughter before looking back at Jace. She thought for a moment and rubbed her forehead with two fingers. “Isabelle-”

“No, Mom. Alec isn’t here yet. I texted a half hour ago. Why isn’t he here?!”

Jace crossed his arms disapprovingly. “You’re dragging Alec back from his dance?!” How could you?”

“Jace,” Isabelle almost growled at him as her eyes teared up. “I wouldn’t without good reason.”

“Isabelle, they probably had to get a cab back. You’re going to have to tell them-”

“What is going on?!” Robert moved towards them. “Are you in trouble?!”

“Not exactly.” Izzy hid behind Simon slightly and linked their fingers. 

“Iz, it’s okay. I’ll tell them.” Simon could feel Izzy squeezing his arm tightly. Her hand was shaking, and he put his over the top. “Okay, this isn’t going to be easy to hear but we need everyone to stay calm.” Simon paused. “Izzy’s pregnant.”

“You think that’s funny?! Are you joking? You’re- you’re joking with us-” Robert scowled angrily and Maryse shook her head as he realised they weren’t. “She’s my daughter! You did that to her!?” Robert put his hand over his mouth, not noticing Jace who was coiling up next to him. Jace’s immediate laughter had turned to anger as he realised the severity of the situation and Clary tried to grab his arm to calm him.

“I’ll kill him,” Jace growled under his breath.

Izzy jumped in between them as Jace rushed forward, pushing him back with her hand against his chest. “Stop it! Stop it now! It was both of our choices! We’re having it with or without your permission or your approval!”

The room broke out in argument, Robert shouting that Izzy was too young while Clary still clung to Jace to stop him taking a run at Simon. Izzy carried on standing between them, shouting louder so she could be heard over it all while Simon argued that they needed to do what they wanted. As the room hit the highest level of tension, Maryse belted above them all. “Stop it! They’re both upset enough, and this isn’t helping anything!”

Robert walked over to Maryse and pointed at Isabelle. “How could you not tell me this?! How could you keep this from me?!”

“Oh, like you did about Jace?!” Robert’s expression broke. “I did what I had to do! They were grown up enough to make this decision and they’re grown up enough to decide who they wanted to tell when!”

“They’re both sixteen! How could they make this choice!?”

“Because it’s theirs! This baby is the life they created and if they want to raise it and love it then who are we to say they can’t! We did it! We weren’t much older when we had Alec! I took them to a scan today and they are having it, Robert!”

“Mom… what’s going on?” Maryse turned around as the room went silent, noticing Alec and Magnus were standing in the doorway. The room went silent. “There better be a good reason for calling us back here.”

No one moved for a second and Simon cleared his throat. As he went to speak, Robert did for him. “Your sister is knocked up...”

Alec stared at all of them, trying to process what he was hearing. Suddenly, everything clicked. Why people had been acting strange. The spontaneous car trips and sneaking around. Much like his brother, Alec rushed to catch hold of Simon but this time, it was Magnus whose turn it was to hold an angry brother back. “Alexander, they’ve thought about this! It’s both of their choices and It’s what Izzy wants!”

“What?!” Alec pulled his arm from Magnus’ grip. “You knew about this?! Why didn’t you tell me?

“Because it wasn’t for me to tell! If you asked me to keep something quiet then I would without any hesitation, why should that be any different for Isabelle or Simon?”

“Listen,” Maryse joined in. “This isn’t a spur of the moment decision, okay? I’ve talked to them both and we’ve got it sorted! Our family needs to be together, not divided! Don’t you think they’re frightened enough without the lot of you shouting at them! It’s not going to change their decision!”

Alec sat down on the couch, rubbing his head. This wasn’t how he had expected his night to end.

“Alec, please talk to me.” Izzy sat down next to him as she watched Clary trying to bring Jace around to the idea. She’d never had a best friend growing up, until Clary. “You’re my big brother and I know you’re scared but Imagine how I feel. I wanted to tell you so bad, but I’ve been so frightened. Whatever happens between all of us, me and Simon have made this decision. It’s what we want.”

“I- I don’t know what to say.” Magnus sat down on the arm of the couch and put his hand on Alec’s shoulder as he spoke. Alec placed his hand on top but continued staring down. “I just don’t believe what I’m hearing.”

“Here,” Izzy pulled her phone from her hoodie and turned the screen on. She passed the phone to Alec and clicked play on the video. It was tiny but unmistakable, even if not for the sound. A tiny flickering on the screen.

A heartbeat.

“It’s only around six millimetres right now but it’s there.”

Alec sniffled as he turned to his sister, all anger dissolving in an instant. “That’s your baby?”

Izzy teared up as she took the phone, running her thumb over the screen. “It is.”

“I- I’m going to be an uncle?”

Magnus pouted and used his two fingers to wipe the tears on his face. Izzy nodded and Alec gasped before pulling her over and hugging her. She’d been so terrified, but Alec’s approval was what mattered most to her. He was her big brother. Still, when Robert knelt down in front of her and assured himself that this was what Izzy wanted, he held her tightly and told her that he loved her. No matter what.

Simon joined them as Robert patted Simon’s shoulder. He was still mad that this had happened, but they would take it. Everything the family had been through with Alec and Magnus’ illness brought a thought to Robert’s mind. Their family had been witnesses to so many miracles lately. This might have been a tiny one at the moment, but it would grow. And it would be loved.

What was one more?

***

Alec sighed as he pulled the car up next to Magnus’, turning off the ignition.

“Alec, talk to me. You barely said a word the whole way home.”

“What do you expect me to- she’s- my baby sister is pregnant, Magnus.”

“I know, Alexander. It’s a lot to process. It’s okay if you’re upset or angry or confused but you need to process this. It’s her choice and both her and Simon want to have this baby.”

“I know,” Alec sniffled as he hit the steering wheel. “How could she allow that to happen? My little sister!? She should be playing with dolls still and letting me pull her in a wagon… not- not sleeping with boys! How could she be so reckless!?” Alec rubbed his head, giving in to defeat as he tried to calm himself. “You know what? I’m not even mad at her. How can I be? I’m not mad at you and I- I even understand why you didn’t tell me because it wasn’t your thing to tell but these past few days, weeks, months, I don’t know, I’ve just been on edge. I’ve been feeling miserable and frustrated and Magnus? Literally every time I’ve seen you lately, I’ve wanted to chuck you against a wall and that’s not in a mean way, maybe it’s in an I’ve missed you way, but I don’t understand it and it terrifies me. I guess I just wanted every single thing to go perfectly tonight.”

“I know how you feel,” Magnus agreed. “We’ve both been through a trauma. All these things are coming out and it’s a lot all at once.” Alec nodded. “I can understand them being a little reckless though. I mean, you’ve seen how we are with each other. You lose all your thought processes when you love someone and all your hormones are going- OH! Ohmygod! It all makes sense now!”

“What does?” Alec grumbled.

“Why you’ve been grumpy! Why we were being aggressive with one another! Max has been sharing your room, right?”

“Right?”

“And your own bathroom has been out of action for ages, right?” Magnus grinned. ”And you hate showers, so you haven’t had any time to yourself!” He laughed, tapping his head at how stupid they’d both been. “I know exactly what you want!”

Alec scowled. “Don’t laugh at me!” Magnus grinned with his mouth open. “What- what are you going on about?! Tell me! You think you know me that well?! Go on. Tell me- tell me exactly what I want!” Alec’s head went back in shock as Magnus climbed over him, pulling the lever under the car seat to send them both flying backwards. Alec slid down slightly in the seat as Magnus clutched Alec’s face, kissing him hard enough that Alec groaned and whimpered underneath him. His head followed quickly with the pull from Magnus’, immediately wanting more. Magnus moaned softly as their mouths moved together, kissing with as much tongue as they could get. Magnus broke away and both of them gasped with sparkling eyes. In that split second, all common sense and self-control was lost. Alec clutched the back of Magnus head, both of them moaning loudly as they clashed their faces together, over and over again. Magnus’ hands pulled at Alec’s shirt, managing to get enough buttons undone that he could run his hands over the smooth skin underneath, catching Alec’s lip between his teeth. Alec arched his hips against Magnus’, his body already asking for more than it could currently get. Magnus went up on his knees, no time to waste as Alec started undoing Magnus’ belt and pulling his shirt out so he could get his hands down the front of Magnus’ boxers.

Magnus’ eyes fluttered as Alec took him in his hand, pleased to confirm that Magnus was as hard as he was. He hadn’t even allowed himself to imagine what it would feel like to have their hands on one another again. Alec’s fingers moved swiftly as Magnus moaned, leaning forward again to force their tongues together.

“Uggh,” Magnus whimpered against Alec’s mouth, unable to say anything else. His body was pulsating under Alec’s touch. He was suddenly thankful for the cover of darkness, when Alec pulled their lips apart, undoing Magnus’ zip and using his two thumbs to slowly free him from the confines of the clothing at his waist.

“Oh,” Alec laughed happily as he looked into Magnus’ eyes. Magnus’ old sparkle was back. Something deep and mischievous that was enough to keep Alec awake at night. “Oh, I’ve missed you.”

Magnus laughed as he leaned back on Alec’s thighs, clutching his shirt to keep his balance. “I hope that was meant for me.”

“Of course, it was meant for you. Everything I do, every day, is for you, Magnus! God, I love you to the end of this earth and if you’ll have me, I’ll spend every day trying to make you feel the same.”

“Of course, I feel the same!” Magnus tried to enjoy the sweetness of the moment, but it was kind of difficult with certain parts of his anatomy on display. He went up on his knees again, moaning as he leaned down and spoke against Alec’s mouth. “Now shut up and put your hands on me.”

Alec ran his tongue up Magnus stomach as he moaned, making Magnus’ legs shake. He sucked at his skin, kissed him, caressed him, each motion an act of display for the love that he was desperate to show.

As Alec finally took Magnus’ erection in his mouth, Magnus’ head rolled back, gripping Alec’s head and coaxing him to take in more and more as he pushed his hips forward. Alec moaned as he did so, grabbing Magnus’ bare butt to thrust more of Magnus into him, desperate to take in everything he could. Magnus could feel himself getting closer and closer and ran his hands quickly over Alec’s hair and upper back. It had been so long since his body had felt anything this good. Understandably, Alec looked amazing, but the second Magnus had seen him in that suit, he’d admittedly wanted to get it off him. “That’s it! Faster! Faster, Alexander!” Alec pulled his head away for an agonising second, his hands shaking with desire as he tried to undo his own belt and give himself some comfort.

Magnus stuttered. His legs were aching and there wasn’t nearly enough room. He wanted Alec’s body and for that, they’d have to have a change of locale. “Alexander,” Magnus looked down with a grin. “Do you want to go in the house?”

“Yes! Yes!” Alec replied as he glowed. “Let’s get these stupid clothes off!”

***

“Come on. Admit it. This is way better than any restaurant.”

Lily glanced across the kitchen table before taking a bite out of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She held up her glass to Asmodeus, the red liquid a little lower than she remembered. Her speech was a little slow as they both laughed at each other and she had to put Asmodeus’ wine glass into his hand to get him to realise she wanted to tap them together.

“Oh!” Asmodeus laughed with his free hand on his head. “To being just friends!”

“Just friends!”

“Friends with ironed shirts!” Asmodeus laughed as he tapped their glasses together again and took a sip. Maybe they were getting a little old for this and they’d definitely feel it tomorrow, but he hadn’t had this much fun in years.

“Or-” Lily giggled. “Or friends without shirts!”

“Just as good!”

“I meant you, stupid! Wait-” Lily tried to focus her eyes. “I’m still a good friend without a shirt on!” She looked down, cackling as she pinched at her pyjama bottoms. She didn’t even know what was so funny. “Can I tell you a secret?” Asmodeus nodded as he shook the empty bottle over his glass. “You’ve got an even better one becauseee she’s not wearing annnything underneath her-”

Both of them turned around sharply as the front door slammed open on its hinges. Lily blushed as Magnus and Alec crashed through, both of their belts undone, and shirts pulled out, shoes crashing as they were thrown. Magnus slammed Alec against the wall by the door, his hands fisted in Alec’s shirt as they both moaned loudly and kissed like their lives depended on it. Their heads and bodies moved desperately against one another, pushing and pulling as their hands roamed freely over each other.

“Oh, not this.” Asmodeus groaned and put his forehead on the table. “No!- Oh nooo! No father wants to see that!”

Lily watched with wide eyes as Magnus pulled Alec’s tie lose. They were both panting in between kisses, a look of desire between them that meant business. “As, maybe we should go out.” She tried to speak clearly. Asmodeus had his hands over his ears and was trying to ignore the sucking sounds coming from across the room. Magnus had Alec’s shirt open and was trying to somehow get his tie off him without pulling their mouths apart.

“How? They’re blocking the door. Oh, I am going to kill him-”

“No- no you’re not,” Lily pointed and Asmodeus followed her line of sight. They both cringed slightly as Alec pushed Magnus against the opposing wall and Magnus gripped Alec’s butt as their tongues clashed over and over again. “He’s- he’s happy, As. Besides, they’ll- move upstairs in a minute. Probably. I hope so anyway.”

“Argh!” Asmodeus rubbed his temple. “I don’t want to think about that!”

“Okay! Sorry!” Lily whispered. “Just wait for them to move and we can get out. Hang on- we’re- we’re in pyjamas. Where are we going to go at midnight?” Asmodeus was already digging through the cupboard next to the fridge, pulling out a large tupperware box. He pulled off the lid, putting in the remainder of their sandwiches, two packets of potato chips and a pack of biscuits. He grabbed his jacket from the side, throwing his arms in and zipping it up. Lily watched as he took two bottles of beer from the fridge, putting one in each of his deep jacket pockets and adding the two electric tealights from the table for good measure. He already had slip-on shoes on and pointed to Lily’s sneakers in the corner. By the time she’d pulled them on, he’d grabbed his large hoodie, warmed from the drier and instructed her to put it on. He passed her the box, taking her free hand. Magnus and Alec had moved across the room, leaning against the couch, both still moaning as Alec kissed Magnus’ stomach to the feel of hands in his hair.

Asmodeus led Lily to the door as she glanced at their linked fingers, her hand so small in his own. He slid a large dog bone to the end of the counter and chucked it across the kitchen floor. There was a jingling of a collar and an excited woofing noise as Honey raced past and claimed it. Finally, Asmodeus opened the cupboard by the front door. There was a picnic blanket inside, long unused, and he put it on top of the box before grabbing a torch.

“I’m taking you to the park.”

***

The front door clicked faintly as Magnus grabbed Alec’s loose shirt and pulled his arms from it. They both giggled as Alec’s tie got stuck over his head before Magnus pulled it off and threw it to the side. They crashed onto the couch again, already exhausted as their lips clashed and Magnus fell on top of him.

“I- I love you so much,” Alec said in between kisses. Magnus nodded in agreement as he lay over him, every inch of their bodies touching where they could.

“My room.” Magnus jumped up, pulling Alec with him.

By the time they had gotten upstairs, Alec’s pants had been lost somewhere along the way. As Magnus pinned Alec to the wall outside his room and kissed him like it was his only source of oxygen, Magnus stood in just his crumpled shirt and his boxers. God knows what his father would think in the morning when he saw the various socks dotted around the place or Magnus’ bowtie very neatly hung at the bottom of the stairs.

“That’s- that’s it,” Magnus panted against Alec’s mouth. He knew they were both exhausted and probably wouldn’t go all the way, but it was well past the stage of a silent nod goodnight. “Get your clothes off. Now.”

Alec nodded, pulling Magnus over to his room without breaking contact. This was something else. They’d slept together before but nothing as desperate and world ending as this. Magnus hadn’t even thrown himself down on the bed before the remainder of their clothes were cast away and their bodies were thrown together.

Alec threw his leg over Magnus’ hip, no hesitation between them. They tumbled and flipped one another over and over again, moaning and relishing in the feeling of no barriers between them after so long. They thrusted their hips together, hands grabbing at anywhere they could, soft touches that said, ‘I love you’, gentle brushes that said, ‘I’ll protect you’ and harder caresses that said, ‘I want you.’

They kissed and sucked at each other’s skin as they moved together desperately, tired but renewed with energy and haste. Neither of them had ever wanted anything so badly, hands running through hair or down legs as they moved together and learned to map one another’s bodies again, remembering each mark or freckle that had been forgotten about and whispering sweet ‘I love you's’ to one another as they wrapped together and threw each other around.

Not long after, Alec lay on his back groaning with Magnus over him, stroking them both between his hand. What followed was a mess induced ecstasy of movement and shouting names, both of them urging the other on, over and over as they moved against one another, managing to draw out more from their bodies and each other than they ever thought possible.

When all the stresses and worries of the past few months between them had been extracted and touched away, movement stilled between them and they laid collapsed together in a shattered and sweaty heap. The frantic tumbling slowed to tender embracing and yet even more tender conversation. Finally, they both lay with their entire bodies touching and the sheets on the floor, unable to get a word out between them. Nothing needed to be said though as the two worn young men got their breath back and finally fell asleep, closer, physically and metaphorically, than they had been in a long, long time.

***

As Jace got in from walking Clary home, he threw his jacket over the hook on the door and rubbed his eyes. He was so tired, but he knew some things needed to be sorted before he could go to sleep. His friend worked in the bakery on the way to Clary’s and he’d managed to get him to open the shop so he could pick out a few things to take home. It had taken a lot of convincing on Jace’s part, but he had done it and was proud of the effort it had taken. He carried the box in his hand, pushing the kitchen door open. He looked up to see Maryse and Robert at the table, drinking coffee and looking as tired as he was. Clary had told him why she had been so freaked out earlier and he got it, assuring her that while she had nothing to be worried about, but they’d get through it together.

“Hey.”

“Where did you get that?” Robert nodded to the box. Jace opened it and held it out, Robert taking one of the doughnuts.

“Not important. I can come back.”

“No, Jace. Sit down.” Jace nodded at his mother before putting the box on the table, followed by his phone and his key. “Jace, why didn’t you talk to me about your depression? I know it’s hard but I’m your mother. I wanted to be there for you.”

“You knew?”

Maryse nodded. It hadn’t gone unnoticed. She’d seen the medication before Jace had moved it upstairs and knew Robert had been taking Jace for doctor’s appointments. “Yes, I knew. It’s not important though. You should have come to me.”

“I know.” Jace looked down. “It’s just been difficult. I was worried what everyone would think. I helped keep things running when Alec was ill, and I prided myself on that. I know it’s stupid now, but I wanted to keep up that image. I guess...the reason I told Dad was just that he’s a guy. Alec has had more things to deal with than any of us and I couldn’t tell him until recently, and like Magnus did with Izzy, he promised it wasn’t his thing to tell. I’ve always admired that about him.” 

Maryse sighed. She understood where he was coming from. “We’ve promised one another, no more secrets now. This family is going to change and we’re going to have a policy of complete transparency. Any of you children have a problem, you come to us, okay? We love all of you to pieces and whatever happens, this family is going to get through it together.”

Jace hugged her tightly. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.” Jace got up and walked around to Robert. He hugged him quickly, both of them tapping each other’s backs. “I guess I better go talk to Izzy. I phoned Simon while I was walking back and we’re okay. He’s a good guy.”

“He is.” Robert nodded, indicating the ceiling. “Izzy’s in her room and Andrew just dropped Max home. Him and Tavvy fell asleep after their movie and he didn’t want to wake them, but I wanted our family together tonight.”

“Okay.” Jace flipped open the box on the table and reached inside.

***

“Iz, are you in here?”

“Yes. Come in.”

Jace walked into Izzy’s room carrying the chocolate muffin in his hand. He’d realised that night that while Izzy had been feeling sick a while ago and they’d all thought she’d gotten food poisoning, he’d eaten the muffin that she’d been saving. She hadn’t wanted anything but chocolate for those few days and he’d felt awful. Simon had seen him take it and had told him it was Isabelle’s but Jace hadn’t listened.

As he pushed open the door, Jace smiled quietly. Izzy was sitting on her bed and Max was jumping up and down in his pyjamas, trying to poke her middle as he made her laugh.

“Is it a boy or a girl?!”

“I don’t know yet, Max!” Izzy giggled. Not that long ago, the counsellor had told them that Max needed to ask questions about Alec to make sense of the devastating situation around them. Now he was screeching happily and blurting out anything he could to find out what was happening to Izzy.

“And I’m going to be an uncle like Alec and Jace and Magnus?! And Simon is going to be your baby’s dad?!”

“Yes, Max!” Izzy laughed again and met eyes with Jace. “Hey.”

“Hey. I brought you something.” Jace held out the muffin and Izzy took it, shaking her head. Jace sat down next to her as Max jumped up and down on the bed behind them. “It’s the least I could do.” Jace paused before carrying on. “I’m sorry for how I reacted but you know you could have come to me. Or Alec. We’re your big brothers and we only want to keep you safe.”

“I know.” Izzy picked at the muffin in her hands. “Same goes for you. I heard Mom and Dad talking. Are you okay?”

“I will be.” Jace looked at her. “I have depression but it’s okay. I’m going to be alright. I have an amazing family standing by me...and so do you.”

Max jumped over, squeezing between the two of them and sitting down. “We have the best family, don’t we?”

“We do, Max.”

The three of them huddled together, talking and laughing for longer than any of them could say. By the time Max started drifting off to sleep and they took him back to his newly made up room, Izzy pointed something out to Jace. He glanced out of the window, laughing at the fact that it was early morning. Like a lot of things recently, the night had been long, and it had been dark for a long time. However, the new day was beginning, brighter than ever before. As the world wills, time goes on and things change but no matter how dark that night gets, there’s a time when the light will come through again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment below <3


	34. Under the same Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures are ahead and new discoveries are made as everyone learns what is important to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Hope you enjoy this one as I've loved writing it <3  
> Two more to go!
> 
> //NSFW warning
> 
> Song for chapter 34:[ "Next To Me."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axS6L0NX7VE&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=36&t=0s)

Sweet scents and soft music drifted through the room as Jace flipped a pancake up into the air. Robert and Maryse sat opposite from each other, laughing from behind him. They were sipping coffee at the table and silently applauding whenever Jace struck a successful landing. Knowing everyone would have to fit around the rectangular table, they’d moved several chairs in from the living room, three on each side with one on either end and another on the top corner.

“See?! I’m getting better, aren’t I!?” Jace snorted loudly as he caught another.

Maryse smiled into her coffee. Even though it was almost lunch time, she hadn’t seen Jace up this early in a long time. It had been something Magnus had suggested. It was hard for Jace to get up early when he didn’t want to but once he did, he would get so much more done in the day and be happier in himself. Jace had been going to sleep earlier for the past few days and getting up to a set time. Since he had been, his mood had been much improved.

“You sure are. One day at a time.”

Robert nodded in agreement as Max ran into the room. Robert smiled at his wife and put his hand over hers on the table as Jace talked to his little brother excitedly. They were the image of each other in their matching pyjamas as Jace lugged Max into his arms, making Max giggle when Jace told him he was getting too heavy and that they’d have to stop feeding him before they’d need to get a ladder; That they’d need to put a hole in the roof and poke his head out. Max sniggered as he clung to Jace’s neck and hugged him tightly.

“Maryse, the ceiling is still dripping.” Robert looked to the side of the table and kicked the bucket further over. The plumber had told them that it could happen until the ceiling dried out completely, due to the damage that had been done before. “We’ll have to tell Alec to be careful not to spill anything.”

Maryse sighed. “It shouldn’t be happening to that degree though. I might have to get the plumber to have another look-”

Maryse and Robert both looked over as Clary strolled in yawning. Jace’s face lit up as she wandered over in her pyjamas, kissing Jace quickly and putting a hand on Max’s shoulder to talk to him.

It hadn’t been Maryse and Robert’s first thought to end up with a B&B for teenagers but Jace had promised that they would behave. Besides, with Simon now staying over, plus Magnus, they couldn’t exactly leave Clary out, could they?

Jace set Max down carefully and watched as he ran over to sit on the end by his parents. Jace turned back to the counter as Clary put her arms around Jace’s waist and hugged him. He reciprocated by putting an arm over her shoulder and kissing the top of her head. He hugged her tightly, closing his eyes and swaying gently before grabbing a plate for her and telling her quietly that he hadn’t had such a good night’s sleep in ages.

“Good morning, Mommy!” Max grinned widely as he sat down and Maryse’s eyes went wide. “What is it?!”

“Moo! Your tooth is missing!” 

“It is?!” Max ran his tongue along his teeth until he found the gap on the top right. “It’s gone! Where is it?! I didn’t know it was going to fall out! Look, Clary!” Clary walked over the table and sat down in the nearest seat to her (the corner one, three down from Robert.) Max laughed as he grinned with his mouth open. Jace handed Clary her plate, now with pancakes, and kissed the top of her head before walking away again. Robert chuckled softly as he carried on reading his paper.

“I can see, Max!” Clary beamed.

“Max, maybe it fell out when you were sleeping?” Robert spoke gruffly. Max jumped down from his seat and rushed out of the door to go and check his bed, nearly bumping into Izzy on the way. “And go and feed the goldfish because you always forget!” She had one of Simon’s hoodies on over her pyjamas top and the sleeves were over her hands as she rubbed her face. The front of the hoodie was open and Jace’s eyes widened as he caught sight of the necklace around her neck.

“Take it easy, big brother. Simon made it for me.”

“It’s so pretty!” Izzy sat on the end seat next to Clary and she lifted it up with her fingers to look at it. Simon had casted it himself and put a red rhinestone in the middle. “How did your evening out go?”

“Pretty good.” Izzy screwed her nose up at the pancakes on the table but then smiled as Jace put a bowl of fruit in front of her. She noted that some of Magnus’ strawberry roses were in the bowl and wondered if he’d been showing Alec how to make them when they had spent the previous afternoon in the kitchen. “You’re up early today, Jace. I usually don’t see you until the afternoon on Saturdays.”

“Just thought I would make breakfast. You and Simon went out yesterday? I didn’t know. I went with Alec and Magnus to yoga.”

“Yoga?!” Izzy laughed. “I never thought I’d hear that.”

“It’s actually really good. Those years I did gymnastics helped and I’ve missed hanging out with Alec lately. Magnus’ aunt suggested it to help with his balance and his mood, so I went along with them. We’re going back again next week.”

***

“Alec? Alec are you in here?” Max pushed Alec’s bedroom door open. It creaked slowly as he stuck his head in. The past few weeks and months had been a little unusual. Max knew that his mom and dad stayed in the same room but that was because they were married and had lots of kids. Max had always just run into Alec’s room, but once Magnus had started staying over, Alec had told him that he would have to knock now. Max knew it was because he was Alec’s brother and if he walked in to Alec changing, he would be mad but not too mad. Since Magnus stayed over now, if Max walked in while he was changing, it might upset him because Max wasn’t his brother. That’s what he thought anyway. “Alec? Are you and Magnus sleeping? Me and Magnus were pillow fighting last night and I think my tooth might- ” There was no reply and Max pushed the door open a little wider. Honey was sleeping on the bed and her collar made a sound as she shot up, wagging her tail as Max came over and patted her head. “Hey, girl.” The first thing Max noticed was that the sheets were in a tangle on the floor. The second was Alec’s pyjamas in a messy pile. The third was that the bed was empty and neither Alec or Magnus were anywhere to be seen. “Look, Honey! My tooth has fallen out.” Max grinned and opened his mouth wide as Honey sniffed at him. Everything was very quiet, and he sat down on the floor to get a better vantage point, Honey jumping down off the bed and lying next to him on her front. Eventually his eyes settled on a speck of white under Alec’s bed and scrambled on his hands and knees to get it. “Aha!” After inspecting it, Max put the tooth into his pyjama pocket and glanced around, his eyes settling on Alec’s bathroom door.

***

“Oh, I am so glad that my bath is all fixed. This was such a good idea.” Alec sighed happily as he lay down further into the water. He was in a state of total relaxation; the soft scents and bubbles washing away all his recent stresses.

“Me too.” Magnus grinned with his arms linked around Alec’s neck. He snuggled into him and smoothed his hand up Alec’s chest. “This is so nice.”

“It is. I could just stay here all day. Never go out again.”

“Fine by me.” Magnus turned his head slightly, removing his bubble covered hand from Alec’s neck. He brought it to the side of Alec’s face, grinning happily as he moved his thumb. Alec didn’t know what had come over them in the past week or so. They were still waiting for the right time and hadn’t taken anything further than their usual frantic acts under the cover of night, but they had hardly been apart and hadn’t been able to stop kissing one another when they were together, much to everyone else’s disgust. Alec had never felt so in love before and was sure Magnus felt the same. “I love you, Alexander.”

“I love you-” Alec stopped speaking as Magnus rubbed his nose against his own. “God! I love it when you do that!” Magnus smirked, running his hand down the front of Alec’s chest and then down his stomach.

“What about this then?” Alec sighed quietly as Magnus’ hand lowered again and Alec’s head rolled back as Magnus slowly stroked him a few times.

“Ohh! That’s even better.”

Magnus bit his lip as he moved towards the other end of the bath, lying on his back. Alec moved to lie over him, pressing their lips together as he held on to Magnus’ waist. Their lips brushed softly at first, shifting as Alec gripped Magnus’ neck and parted his lips. Magnus reciprocated, gripping Alec’s back as his hands rested on Alec’s shoulder blades. “Mmm, I love- you-” Magnus mumbled with Alec’s tongue brushing his own. “-so- much.”

Alec grinned as he laid down on top of Magnus, allowing the water to take his weight. The water rocked slightly as Alec shifted to slide his length along Magnus’, making Magnus’ eyes flutter. Magnus opened his eyes and his face lit up as Alec raised his eyebrows; the question hanging in the air between them.

_ Do you want more? _

Magnus nodded desperately as Alec moved against him and their lips crashed over and over. Alec moved to lie on his back and Magnus pounced on him as water splashed over the floor. Their bodies moved against one another, creating a glorious friction between them as they wrapped together and kissed messily. One of Alec’s arms curled around Magnus’ back as Magnus brushed Alec’s jaw with his lips. Magnus lifted his hips and both of them breathed in sharply as Alec stroked both of them at once. Magnus moaned quietly in Alec’s ear, lifting his head when Alec darted up and he let both of them go.

Magnus pouted, looking like he’d just been slapped. “Why did you stop?!”

“Ssssh!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, my God.” Alec went still as Magnus tilted his head, realising that Magnus couldn’t hear when he could. “Someone’s in my room.”

“Are you sure?”

Alec nodded. “I heard my door open and I don’t think we locked the-”

Magnus scrambled back, lying back down in the water as they both went still.

“Alec?! Are you here?!”

Both of their hearts jumped as the door handle pressed halfway. Anticipating the imminent disruption, Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath before lying down under the water. The door slammed open and Max and Honey ran in.

“Max! For the love of God! I’m in the bath! Go away!”

“Alec! I woke up and I went downstairs but I smiled at Mommy and she said my tooth was missing so I showed Clary, and Dad said to check my bed, but it wasn’t in my bed and-”

Alec’s heart raced as he felt Magnus move against him, thankful for the bubbles. “Yeah, yeah! That’s great, Max! Go finish your breakfast and I’ll be down in a minute!”

“Yeah but then I came to your room because we had a pillow fight- Hey, where’s Magnus to? I want to show him-”

“MAX! TAKE THE DOG AND GET OUT! ”

“Okay, don’t shout at me! I’m going!” Max turned around with a skulk and walked out, pulling Honey’s collar and angrily closing the door behind them. Just as the door clicked, Magnus resurfaced and gasped to catch his breath, blinking water out of his eyes.

“Magnus! I am so sorry! Are you okay?!”

“Yeah-” Magnus panted as he slicked his hair back. “I’m okay.” He laughed. “That- that was a close one-”

***

“Hey, kiddo! Did you find your tooth?” Max ran into the kitchen, Honey following closely behind as her tail wagged. “Sure did! In Alec’s room! I put it under my pillow!”

“Good.” Robert remembered how Alec and Magnus had been pillow fighting with Max the night before, however that had started. Max’s tooth had probably been loose anyway, but he’d have to tell them to be more careful with him. He was the current baby of the family, after all. “Now finish your breakfast. There’s a good boy.”

Max climbed back up to his seat as Honey ran around the table and did her morning routine of greeting everyone.

“Who’s a good girl?!” Jace gathered Honey’s head in his hands and her tail sped up as him and Clary scratched at her neck.

Alec raced down the stairs, practically falling into the kitchen. His hair was dripping, and he raced in, in his robe, knowing how late he was.

“Alec, you have to watch you don’t spill any water. The ceiling is still drying out.” Robert mumbled quietly as Alec sat down between him and Jace. The table was getting packed and everyone was eating as Jace passed Alec a plate, slightly annoyed that Alec’s food was going cold and his pancakes wouldn’t be at their best.

“Yep, sorry. I was just in the bath while Magnus got changed into his clothes. I’ll be more careful.”

Robert nodded. “Is the bath working okay?”

“It’s fine.”

Everyone looked up as Magnus dashed into the room, his robe hastily tied around his waist and his hair still soaking wet.

“Sorry I’m late! Alec let me use the bath while he got dressed.” Magnus sat down next to Maryse, his eyes going wide as he glanced up at Alec and realised he was also in just a robe with his hair dripping. Magnus cursed his bad memory and tried to remember if Alec had told him to get changed first. Judging by Alec’s expression, he had.

“Oh yeah?” Jace grinned as he sipped his coffee, poking Alec in the back. “Breaking it in, brother?”

Alec rolled his eyes, resting his hand on his elbows as he went red and everyone else tried not to laugh. “Oh, Jace, just shut up already.”

Maryse’s phone buzzed on the table and she picked it up quickly, thankful that she could move the topic on. She passed it across the table to Robert and he nodded silently before handing it back. Jace, Clary and Izzy all looked at each other and smiled while Alec and Magnus wondered what was going on.

“I’m here! I’m here!” Simon rushed in and took the last seat next to Magnus. “I was on the phone with my Rabbi. Nice guy. Slightly more progressive than most. He’s planning to preach a sermon about the sanctity of life and wants me to speak. The Sabbath begins at nightfall on Friday, so he wants me to see him beforehand.” Simon rambled without looking up as he grabbed a few pancakes. “Did you know that in Judaism, children take after the mother’s religion? There’s clear evidence in the Torah that the rule of matrilineal descent comes from Ezra and the returning exiles. Ezra is one of the last books of the Hebrew Bible. It tells the story of how the Jews who returned from Babylonia, to finish rebuilding the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, found that many of the Jews who inhabited the land had taken non-Jewish wives.”

Jace scratched his head and looked like he was trying to count something on his fingers. “So, what does that mean?”

“Well, the baby will take after Isabelle.”

“That’s pretty interesting,” Maryse joined in. “I never knew that-”

There was a knock at the front door and Maryse tapped Simon’s shoulder before getting up.

“So, Izzy,” Magnus set down his fork. “- and Simon, how are you feeling about going back to school next week?”

“It’s a bit nerve wracking,” Izzy looked nervously to Simon and he nodded in agreement. “We have to go down and talk with the principal beforehand, but Mom and Elaine are going to come with us.” Izzy pointed next to her. “Jace and Clary are actually staying on another year. Jace never thought he would but is going to take music and sport science.”

“Oh! That’s fantastic! That’ll be great, Jace!”

“Thanks, Magnus. You know, Clary’s doing art and creative media.” Clary grinned. “It’s going to be a lot of hard work, but I’ve decided that I want to push myself and strive to do better. Everyone’s going to help each other study and we’ll all get through it together.”

“What about you, Magnus?” Clary joined in. “Have you and Alec decided-” Clary stopped speaking as Maryse walked back into the room, followed by Asmodeus and Lily.

“Father?” Magnus turned around. “What are you doing here?”

Lily laughed softly from where she stood next to Asmodeus. “We have a surprise for you!” Maryse disappeared and came back again with a travel bag in her hand.

Asmodeus leaned down to stroke Honey’s ears as he explained. “Me and Lily had been planning to take you away for a few days as part of your birthday next week but with everything happening, we haven’t had a chance. Me and Lily got a call yesterday and we have an important work meeting tonight with an organisation whose headquarters are a few hours away. It’s going to take a two hour flight to get there and we considered asking if we could let you stay, Magnus, with the Lightwoods for a few days, but we thought that you and Alec might like to come with us.” Alec and Magnus looked at each other excitedly. “Now, it’s only for a night but the hotel is really good and there’s a pool and things if you’re okay with it.”

“Mom? Dad!?” Alec looked between them both. “Is that okay?!”

“Of course, it is.” Maryse laughed with Alec’s bag in her hand. They’d told Alec’s siblings yesterday and they were all for the idea. Alec had never travelled anywhere, and they knew how much it would mean to him considering his new found zest for life.

Magnus grinned as they all agreed. “What do you say, Alexander?”

“I’ve never been on a plane before.” Alec glanced around nervously until Jace threw his arm around Alec’s neck and tried to scruff his hair up.

“Magnus can hold his hand if you get scared.”

***

A little while later, everyone had finished up and gone their separate ways to get changed, bar Izzy who had gone back to bed, when Clary walked through the living room. She’d left her phone on the table and picked it up, doing a double take as she walked past the living room table and noticed Max was still in his pyjamas. He had his back to her and was grumbling quietly over the noise of scribbling pencils. He made a frustrated growl and Clary looked over his shoulder quietly.

“Max? You okay?” Max grumbled again, throwing his pencil down in frustration. “Woah, slammy! What’s wrong?”

Max sighed dramatically as if Clary couldn’t possibly understand all the trials and tribulations that came with being seven. “It doesn’t look right. We’re supposed to draw something from our summer vacation for homework when we go back, and I don’t know what’s wrong.” Max picked up another pencil, clenching it in his hand as he pouted. Clary sat down next to him and glanced over the paper. Judging from the bright purple flowers that she remembered, it looked like Max was drawing the day when they all sat outside the hospital. The day Magnus had walked again, and he’d asked them all to meet him, Alec and Asmodeus outside for a few hours. Max had only started on the background; the brick wall that circled the row of seats and had been colouring in yellow.

“Okay, look.” Clary held out her hand for Max to give her the pencil and he passed it over reluctantly. “Watch what I do.” Clary leaned over the paper as she sat on the edge of Max’s chair. He inched forward, realising he couldn’t see well enough and she laughed as he climbed to sit on her lap. “See? You need to colour in the same direction?”

Max nodded with wide eyes, wondering how he hadn’t thought of it. He turned his head and clung around Clary’s neck, his hand gripping the back of her hair. “Wow! You’re really good at colouring!”

“Well, I try my best!” Clary giggled. “It doesn’t matter if it isn’t perfect though. It’s not about being perfect. It’s the nice day we had when we went to see Magnus, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Max sad sweetly but with a sadness in his eyes. “It was one of my favourite days though because everyone was really happy.”

“Yes,” Clary put her hand on the paper. “Yes, I remember that day. We took you to the park that day, didn’t we? Jace asked us to check if there were ducks there, didn’t he?” Max belly laughed with a childlike innocence, tilting his head back as Clary held onto him. “You know, Max... I always wanted siblings. I always loved my mom and Luke, but I never imagined what having a big family could be like. Sorry if that’s weird.”

“It’s not weird.” Max hugged her tightly. “I like having another big sister!”

“Hey, kiddo! What are you two doing?” Clary and Max both turned slightly as Jace came up behind them. Clary smiled as Max jumped off and carried on with colouring the way Clary had told him to.

“Not much. Honing in on Max’s art skills.”

Jace leaned over Clary and put his arms around her neck. “Hey, Max?”  Max lifted his head. “Mom is sorting out your clothes upstairs. She wants to know what fits you.”

“Okay!” Max set down his pencil, holding his hand out as it rolled to the edge of the table and stopped. He ran from the room as Clary and Jace listened to the sound of him going up the stairs.

“You’re great with him, you know that?”

Clary beamed as Jace kissed her cheek.

***

Lily looked around anxiously as the flight attendants made their final checks. She’d travelled a bit when her son was young, but her ex-husband always worked and was controlling enough that he didn’t like her taking their son to places without him.

Lily yawned for the fourth time as she tried to get a view of Alec and Magnus who were a few seats in front of them. She could just about see the tops of their heads and hoped that they weren’t too nervous about flying.

Asmodeus grumbled quietly as he looked out of the small window. “You know, Blossom, you’d be so much more relaxed if you had just taken up my offer for coffee on the way.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “And yet you know that I had to drive all the way from mine and pick you up, and it would have been much easier for us just to meet at the airport.” Asmodeus shrugged and turned back to window. Lily knew Asmodeus wasn’t keen on flying and that he was worrying if it would give Magnus headaches. He’d had to check beforehand that it was even okay for him to fly. “Hey, you okay?”

Lily placed her hand gently on Asmodeus’ as it was positioned on the rest between them. Asmodeus pulled his hand away quickly, refusing to look at her as he rested his hand on his knee. “I’m fine. I’m tired and I need to rest. I don’t need you to hold my hand.”

“Okay. Jeez.” Lily sighed, pulling out a magazine from the back of the chair in front of her as the announcement came that they would be lifting off soon.

***

“You nervous?” Magnus grinned as Alec tried to do up his belt. The flight attendants were doing a final check as everyone got ready for take-off. “Don’t tighten it too much or it’ll be uncomfortable for you.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks. And no- I’m not nervous, actually. I’m quite excited.” Alec smiled shyly as he looked down. “I mean, it’s only for one night but this is going to be the first time we’ve travelled together.”

“I guess you’re right.” Magnus matched his expression. “We’ve got so many firsts to come still.”

They both looked up as the attendant at the front of the plane announced that they were lifting off. Alec took in a deep breath and then grinned at the feeling of them moving across the tarmac. “Woah, this- this is incredible.”

“Are you- are you sure you’re not nervous?” Magnus voice faltered slightly as he looked at the view past Alec’s window.

“No, I’m good. Statistically speaking, there’s a higher probability of something going wrong with a car than a plane.” They both sat back slightly as the plane started lifting and Alec watched as everything below started flashing past.

“Alec?” Alec grinned as he faced the window, knowing exactly what he was about to hear. “Do- can I hold your hand?”

***

“And you just cross it over like this?” Izzy held up her mirror from where she sat on the floor. Clary was on the couch behind her and trying to follow a hair tutorial offline. “I think- no I’ll start over. Pass me the brush again.”

Izzy lifted her arm to hand it over and Clary pulled the brush through her hair gently. She wanted to have her hair cut but hadn’t felt up to going yet. Clary had told her that she might feel better if it was up and out of the way.

“Clary, you need to do it like this.” Izzy listened, as Simon directed Clary from next to her, chuckling under her breath. “No, no-”

“Simon!”

“Let me do it! I can see where you’re going wrong.” Clary huffed as she moved over, and Simon instructed her to hold the phone up. He crossed Izzy’s hair over effortlessly and in less than a minute, Izzy had a perfectly styled fishtail braid. “See, it’s easy! Wow... that was really fun.”

“Okay beginner’s luck- hey, Jace is back!”

Izzy turned around as Jace ran into the room, carrying a large book in his arms. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the TV. “Jace, I was joking. It’s too soon for messing with things like that.”

“Oh, come on, Iz.” Jace climbed over the arm of the couch and sat down next to Simon. “It’ll be fun.”

“I want a look!” Jace handed Simon the book. It had taken some digging to find but it was Maryse’s old book from when she was expecting Max. The book was filled with baby names; girls in the front and boys in the back.

“Oh, Iz!” Jace laughed. “Beowulf.”

“That’s awesomeee!” Simon cheered.

“Absolutely not.” Izzy scowled and Jace looked back down.

“Emberlyn for a girl? That’s pretty badass?”

“Nooo,” Izzy sang as she continued looking at the TV. Clary joined her on the floor and bumped their heads together, either just in companionship or in solidarity in the agreement that their boyfriends were being idiots.

“What about Scarlett for a girl?” Simon pointed to the book and Izzy tilted her head. It wasn’t a bad-

“Niceee.” Jace clapped and winked at Simon. “Like Johansson!”

“Okay, that’s out.”

***

“Well, here we are.” Magnus swung Alec’s hand as they walked closely together. Asmodeus and Lily were in front and quietly trying to decide on how to find the front desk.

The hotel and grounds were huge, and it was a lot more humid than Alec had imagined it would be. They’d only travelled a few hours and yet the place looked nearly tropical.

“It’s so beautiful!” Alec stared around, his eyes trying to settle on everything at once. “Look! Look at that!” Alec jumped excitedly, making Magnus laugh,

“Oh, you are so cute! When we’re older, I’m going to take you everywhere!”

“This is quite impressive!” Lily smiled as she glanced at Asmodeus, holding out a hotel brochure to show him. They had hours yet until the meeting and instead of looking at everything around him and joining in with the excitement, he was busy reading through an itinerary for work. “As!”

“What?” Asmodeus grumbled quietly, sighing in frustration as he heard Alec and Magnus kiss from behind them, wondering if he’d have to endure it for the rest of the trip. He’d heard things in the past week, accidently witnessed things on his couch; things that had made him want to go through his ear and scrub the inside of his brain with a toothbrush.

“I said they do spa treatments here. Seriously? What is your problem today?!”

“We’re here to work, Lily! Get off my back!”

Lily sighed in frustration as Asmodeus walked ahead to find the desk. He’d been pushing himself far too much lately. She knew how stressed he got; how much he needed a release. She wished there was some way she could help.

“I can’t believe that you’ve never stayed in a hotel before!” Magnus laughed excitedly, going off about a story from when him and his father went to Thailand and stayed in a hotel that was in the rainforest. “-and they have to clean the hotel constantly because of the humidity-”

Alec was deep in thought, nodding along quietly as Magnus jumped up and down ecstatically. “You know, I haven’t seen much of the world yet, Magnus. Everything I’ve been through has made me realise that I need to see things and travel.”

“Of course! We have time, Alec. It’s okay. We’ve got plenty of time to do everything we want.”

Alec let out a breath and smiled. He’d been conditioned for so long; afraid to make long term plans. Then he had gotten better, then Magnus had gotten sick. He hadn’t allowed himself to think that they were safe now. He didn’t have to worry anymore. He was allowed to just plan his life and be with Magnus. To be in love and be happy again.

“Well, where can we go?”

“Anywhere you like.” Magnus grinned as they reached the reception area. Asmodeus was by the desk and being handed a card. “The world is your oyster, Alexander.”

“Okay,” Asmodeus walked back over, looking at Alec and Magnus as he spoke. “Because it was a late booking, the rooms are on two different floors. It’s not important anyway since you both have your phones, but I thought we’d go check out the two rooms and then you can do whatever you want for the afternoon.”

***

Maryse and Robert looked up as Jace and Izzy walked in to the kitchen. Robert was folding up a pile of laundry while Maryse talked about the changes to Max’s school hours when he started the next grade.

“Everything okay?” Robert balled up a pair of socks and put them in the basket. It always seemed like the washing, cooking and cleaning in the house was never done. As soon as one lot was sorted, it was time for the next. They’d only just been joking that they were going to start charging rent.

“Everything’s fine.” Jace pulled a chair out and sat down next to his father.

“Do I look like I have money? Check the couch.”

Maryse laughed and shook her head before sipping her tea.

“Very funny, Dad. Can’t we just come in here because we want a nice talk with our parents?”

“Okay, what have you broken? I’m hoping not something expensive… or Max.”

“Max is out the back with Honey. We just wanted to talk.”

“To both of you.” Izzy sat down next to Maryse, making her turn to face her.

“Okay, what is it?”

“We think the two of you should go out tonight.”

“I knew it. They want us out of the house! Can you believe this, Maryse?”

“No, Dad,” Jace replied. “We think you should go out and have some time to yourselves. All us kids have put you through a lot lately and it’s important that you have some time to relax. We all agreed no more secrets so if you want time, just the two of you, then say. We can look after Max and the dog. How hard can it be?”

Maryse glanced over at her husband and shrugged. It had been a while since they’d had an evening out and when they’d been away at the wedding, they had said that they would make more effort for one another. “Okay. I think we can agree on that. What do you say?”

Robert nodded. “Sure. Thank you both.” Izzy’s phone started buzzing on the table and she picked it up, quickly putting it on silent. “Everything okay?”

“Dad,” Izzy laughed. “It’s fine. Me and Simon just posted on our social media accounts about the baby and our phones are blowing up.”

“Are you sure that’s wise? Are you okay with it?” Maryse put her hand on Izzy’s shoulder.

“We are. With going back to school next week, it’s better to say now so the heat can die down a bit. It was going to get out once we saw the principal anyway so I’d rather everyone just know. There’s nothing wrong with it. Sometimes it’s better to have everything out in the open.” Maryse brushed Izzy’s face and Izzy put her hand over the top, picking up her phone. Maryse pulled her close and kissed Izzy’s forehead before Izzy announced that Simon was about to walk home, and she was going to go with him, jumping down from her chair and walking out casually.

“Okay,” Jace spoke on a sigh, making both of his parents turn to look at him. “There’s one thing I haven’t told you guys yet and I want you to know. It’s not a big deal but Izzy mentioned it before, and it’s been playing on my mind.”

“What is it?” Maryse walked over, placing a hand on Jace’s shoulder. Robert turned his chair to face him.

“You can tell us anything, Jace. You know that.”

Jace sighed and regained a look of confidence. He could do this. “Okay, I was at a party a while back, that one with all those kids from the other school. I don't know how Izzy even found out about it. It was a few months ago and all my old football team were there-”

“Jace?” Maryse tilted her head. “Did you take something?”

“I had a couple drags of a joint, okay?”

“Jace…” Robert rubbed his head. “You smoked pot?”

“It was hardly anything, okay? It was a one-time thing. They were egging me on, I- I was about to properly start my medication and also knew I didn’t want to be drinking anything while I was on it so that was the only reason I was there. My mood was low, I didn’t want to be there, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just did it so they would leave me alone and I could leave, alright?”

“Alright.” Robert sighed and looked at Maryse. “Is that it? Nothing else we need to know?”

“That’s it. We agreed we would be honest with each other and I didn’t want it hanging over me.” Jace stood up and hugged both of them in turn. He looked slightly tearful and Maryse didn’t know if it was because of some sort of shame or something else.

“Jace, it’s okay. You’ve told us now and that’s what’s important.”

***

“Oh, you have to be kidding me.”

Asmodeus opened the door as Lily lingered behind him. Alec and Magnus were standing in the hallway, looking at each other and wondering what was going on.

“What’s the matter?” Magnus followed Asmodeus and Lily into the room.

“This is the room me and Lily were supposed to have…” Asmodeus looked at the card in his hand. “Because of the late booking, they said they had two singles. They- they were both supposed to be two singles.” Magnus and Alec tittered behind them at the fact it wouldn’t be the first time Lily and Asmodeus had slept in the same bed. Asmodeus shot them a glare and Alec looked at the floor while Magnus coughed with his hand in front of his mouth. Alec gave Magnus a glance, suggesting that Asmodeus’ attempt to get them both singles was a bit futile. They seemed unimpressed by the two bed arrangement and silently agreed that they'd just end up in one, even if it would be a squish. Either that or they’d just push the two together. “Well, Magnus, why don’t you two take this room and if the other one has two singles then we’ll just take that one?”

“Are you kidding me?” Lily rolled her eyes at him as Magnus nodded enthusiastically.

“Well, there’s obviously been a mistake somewhere. Let’s just check the other room and see.”

Alec and Magnus set their bags down on the bed, following behind Lily and Asmodeus as they made their way to the other floor. Lily dragged her bag in annoyance as Asmodeus walked briskly in front. As far as she was concerned, a bed was a bed and she just wanted to get ready for her meeting.

“What’s going on with them two?” Alec whispered as they reached the right floor. Magnus smirked and signalled something suggestive, making Alec shake his head in disagreement.

“Okay, this is fine.” After unlocking the door, Asmodeus walked in, followed by the others. The room had two single beds and a pleasant enough view of the beach through the wide glass windows. “Pretty nice, actually.”

“As, why is us having the big room such a problem?” Lily crossed her arms and Magnus copied her.

“Yes, Father. Why is it a problem?”

“Quiet, you. Because, Lily, Alec and Magnus are in a relationship so I thought they would prefer it. There are no motives, it’s no big deal, nothing to get worked up about. They are just in a relationship and we are not.” The tension raised in the room for a moment and Asmodeus spoke again before anyone could argue. “Look, this has taken long enough. We have our meeting soon and it’s only for one night. Alec, Magnus?” Asmodeus turned to the two boys. “Go and sort your stuff out or look around or something. Whatever you want. We’ll have an early dinner before our meeting, so we’ll find you in a little while. Actually, tell you what; the company is paying for everything so get a table when you’re ready for food and tell them my name. We’ll meet you when we’re ready.”

***

“I think it might rain later.” Simon looked up at the sky and Izzy copied him. Simon’s house wasn’t far, and Izzy was enjoying the fresh air outside. Simon had told her about a shortcut through the park and they walked with their arms linked, watching as two children giggled and chased each other around a slide. Honey jumped along in front of them happily, turning back every few seconds to make sure they were there.”

“I didn’t think it would be this cold.” Izzy gripped her arm with the other.

“I suppose the summer is coming to an end.” Simon kicked a stone. “Here.”

Izzy stopped walking as Simon unzipped his coat. He had a thick jumper on underneath and the walking had actually been making him a little warm. Izzy stood still as Simon undid his zip, putting Honey’s lead into his jacket pocket. He put the coat over Izzy’s shoulders and kissed her quickly before taking her hand and continuing. Honey shot them a glance to say, ‘everything okay?’ and ran back to walk in line with Izzy.

“Your phone is buzzing again.”

Izzy looked at Simon and he pulled his phone out of his coat pocket, turning it off and putting it back. “It will do for a while. I think we did the right thing though.”

“Me too. Think about how crazy school is going to be. Mom said I’ll have to see how I do first. I tend to feel worse in the evening now so it shouldn’t get in the way.” 

They stopped walking as Honey sniffed at a patch of grass.

“When work starts piling up, I could bring my books over to yours so we can study in your room. I know we were all going to go to the library, but it might be easier. There’s no issue if you don’t feel well then and- hey! You can stay in your pyjamas.”

“Okay, it’s a plan.” Honey finished her wee and they continued walking. “We’re not far from yours now.” Simon nodded. They could see his street just through the trees. “You know, I’m going to the mall with Becky tomorrow? I texted her earlier because some of my jeans are starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.” Izzy chuckled softly to herself. “...I thought I’d get Max something from the candy store.”

“Gah, it’s insane... I don’t think I miss working there though. I’ve been told I can start my new job next weekend. Turns out it’s one of the subcontractors for Asmodeus’ programming company. Magnus never said but his dad is in charge of a huge section-”

“Really?? No wonder their house is so huge.”

“Yes, I couldn’t believe it. This is a smaller branch that does more of computers than anything else but the one he helps run is insaneee! Magnus’ dad coordinates with other companies to maintain programming for medical systems. There wasn’t much I could find online but it looks like he specialises in programming and maintenance on MRI scanners.”

“That’s kind of beautiful in a way. I wonder if he went into that because of Magnus’ mom? Maybe he wanted to do something for her that could help others.” Izzy paused as they reached the house. “Simon… I think I know what job I want to do.”

“You do?” Simon held out his hand and Izzy took it gently, trying to draw out the time until he’d have to go in.

“With everything going on with Alec, I spent a lot of time in that hospital. Our family met some great people and we couldn’t have gotten through it without them. They were so amazing, and I think I know now. I know what I want.”

“What is it?” Simon smiled as he held on to Izzy’s hand.

“I’ve decided that I want to be a doctor.”

***

Lily opened her eyes as she sat on the edge of her bed. Her hand brushed the cover as she looked down and thought to herself quietly. Asmodeus had gone into the bathroom to change and she looked up as he walked out in a shirt and a pair of light  pants . “Is that what you’re wearing to dinner?” She looked him up and down before playing with her bracelet. It wasn’t a bad choice, but it wasn’t what she would have chosen.

Asmodeus grumbled, tilting his head at her. They had to be leaving soon and he wasn’t in the mood for it. She was obviously trying to wind him up. “It’s really hot so, yes. Yes, this is what I am wearing.”

“I hope you mean the weather because that’s not how I would describe it.” Lily chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere in the room.

“What are you? My wife?” A flash of awkward silence went between them and Asmodeus didn’t take her up on her offer for humour, picking up his case with his notes in it and gesturing to the door.

“Lighten up, As.” She squished his cheek and sauntered past, drawing out the tiniest of smiles from him. He put his hand to his cheek as she walked in front and he followed her, his face slightly pinker than it had been a moment ago.

Lily waited in silence as Asmodeus pulled the door shut. She supposed he was acting strange, but it wasn't really anything new between the two of them. They haven’t seen each other much in the last week. Was he actually mad at her? But then, why would he be? She couldn’t think of a specific reason.

***

Back at Clary’s house, she lay on the floor as she coloured in her sketchbook. She jumped as Simon sat next to her and hit at his game controller with his tongue out. “Ahh! Take that you fiend!”

“Simon! You made me make a mistake.” Simon turned his head sideways without taking his eyes off the screen. His character was taken out by a sniper’s bullet and he cursed as the game went back to the loading screen, chucking the controller down. About five seconds later, as Clary happily drew in silence, he picked the controller up again and carried on from his last save point. “You know what, Si?” Simon mumbled something along the lines of ‘hmm?’ “It’s funny how some things never change. After everything that’s gone on, we’re still just two best friends, drawing and playing video games like we always have.”

Simon paused his game, setting his controller down and taking a cookie from the plate that laid between them. “I guess you’re right. I like it though. We’re allowed to goof off sometimes and go back to what we’ve always been. Not everything has to change.”

Clary sat back on her hands, reaching for the last cookie. Simon reached at the same time and she broke it in half, handing the bigger piece over to him. “I know I said that everything would change in the next year, but it wasn’t exactly what I meant.”

“Could you imagine if this time last year, if I had told you we would be dating siblings, that I would be expecting a baby with one and you would be staying on another year of school with the other?”

Clary set her sketchbook to the side, lying on her back on the carpet. Simon shifted over and lay down next to her, their heads close together. “I would have called you mad.”

”I probably would have agreed.

“You know what?” Clary turned her head and Simon looked at her “I wouldn’t take back any of it.” 

“Me either. I’m really happy, Clary. No matter how scary things get, these things are only here to make us stronger.”

***

Warm waves lapped at Magnus and Alec’s feet as they walked along the beach. It had been a nice few hours, walking together and talking about everything and nothing. They’d laid together for a little while, getting sand on their clothes as it had started to get dark. Magnus had tried to point out what he knew of constellations, making up the names as he went along.

The beach was quiet as they walked hand in hand, Magnus trying to pick up all the shells he could see without dropping any, making Alec laugh at the free spirit as he growled in frustration.

They walked a little further, just as the sun was dipping in the sky. The ocean was lit up like fire, swirls of red, amber and yellow overlapping on a canvas.

Magnus pointed silently, making Alec turn his head.

A small turtle lay on its back as its legs swooped dramatically in an effort to right itself. Alec watched as Magnus dropped the shells and they were swallowed up by the ocean tide; him no longer caring for their beauty when there was another soul who needed his attention.

Alec stood on the sand, allowing the grains to pool beneath his toes. Magnus rushed forward with a grin, picking up the turtle and speaking to it softly. He carried it into the water as Alec watched, the water up to where his  pants were rolled up. He set it down gently, waving goodbye as it disappeared into the murky depths without looking back.

Magnus stood there for a moment, letting the sun warm his fingers as he held them out to the side; a light in his eyes, in his soul, that shone brighter than even the sun itself. He tilted his head back as Alec watched from a distance. He could have just flipped the creature over, put it in the edge of the surf and watched it swim away. Most people would. Alec wouldn’t have even blamed him. The turtle would never thank him or even remember him as it raced away.

But Magnus wasn’t most people.

Sometimes there’s special people who are put on this earth. Rare gems who can see what lies beyond the murky depths of the ocean in front of them. Special individuals who must be protected, nurtured, for they support all that is good and just. These once in a lifetime individuals who radiate warmth and positivity and yet need a little more love than they have been dealt themselves.

Not a word was muttered as Magnus walked back, his face in a broad smile that matched his personality. He held out his hand and Alec linked their fingers as they watched the copper swells turned to violet.

He rested his head on Alec’s shoulder in the dying light, knowing he was totally and utterly safe, and they stood together until the last speck of light faded away into the night.

The warmth stayed inside them as they held onto one another and as they walked up the beach, nothing even needing to be said.

These individuals are special because they are so rare; seen as a perfect being in an imperfect world. What many don’t know is that each is missing something desperately. These souls call out for another, another light to hold their hands on the days that they themselves see darkness.

These rare gems are put on earth with an importance purpose; spreading their light, taking it to others and sharing it wherever they go, lighting paths and leaving blazing trails in their wake.

However, there’s something even rarer. Twin flames. Crafted and gifted to one another before their stars can even take shape.

For sometimes, when a rare gem cries out, their desperate call is answered.

***

The rain was sprinkling down finely as Robert and Maryse walked home through the park. As the case was with any protective parents, they hadn’t gone far. Just far away enough to get fries together and an ice cream to finish, even though Robert had said that summer was ending and it was far too cold.

He ate his ice cream happily, Maryse with her arm around his as he held his  battered umbrella between them, and they laughed about things like they had used to.

“...Do you think we should spend a few nights away?” Robert asked flippantly and Maryse thought of her response.

“And have the house burn down?”

“Oh, it wouldn’t burn down!” Robert chuckled. “Maybe leave Alec to make the supper though.” Maryse smiled shyly at the ground and nodded as their feet made little noises on the wet path. “Maryse,” Robert paused. “Do you remember the day we met?”

“Hmm?” Maryse licked her ice cream and tilted her head. It was her favourite story. Bar the kids being born, of course. “You’ll have to remind me.”

“Okay I’ll enlighten you,” Robert smiled as Maryse laughed. “We were fourteen  Just kids at playing adults. We both went out to food at the same restaurant and got stood up by our friends. Do you remember what happened then?” His ice cream finished, Robert lifted Maryse’s hand as she stepped over a puddle. 

“You leaned over your table and told me that we could be friends if I had wanted to.”

“We stayed until the restaurant closed and then I walked you home. It was raining.”

Maryse looked up at the red umbrella with holes in it. “And you held your umbrella for me.”

“And then what happened?” Robert tilted his head.

“It turned inside out and we both got soaked!” Both of them laughed loudly and Maryse’s expression saddened. “It was dark, and my parents were furious when I got home.”

Robert nodded in agreement. “You told me you cried in your room that day. Because your parents shouted at you.”

Maryse shook her head as they cut down another path. Her hair was slightly curled at the bottom because of the rain. “No, that wasn’t the reason.”

“It wasn’t?”

”No, I never told you. I didn’t cry because my parents shouted at me. I didn’t care one bit about that.” She looked up. “I cried because I still had your umbrella and I regretted not running back out into the rain to you. I know we were fourteen but that day and us walking home in the rain had been the best of my life. I should have gone out in the rain. I wished that I had ran out and kissed you. I thought I was never going to see you again.”

“Hey,” Robert stopped walking and Maryse turned to him as he brushed a droplet from her cheek. “It worked out okay, didn’t it? That moment I saw you in school.” He chuckled softly. “You and Celine both had your hair braided as you carried your books. Me and Stephen took one look at each other, seeing the two of you, and we were gone.

Maryse smiled with a sadness in her eyes. “I miss them.”

“Me too. I see them in Jace though. Every day. Those we have loved are never gone from us. We just have to count our blessings and promise to live well for them.”

***

Asmodeus and the three others were just finishing their food as he asked Alec and Magnus if they were going out for the evening. They’d seen a club on the way that Magnus would have loved in the days gone. As Alec and Magnus had sat down first, Asmodeus hadn’t noticed that they both had swim trunks on. Luckily the restaurant was part of the hotel and they hadn’t needed to dress up or anything. 

“If you are you going to go out then I don’t want you back too late, okay?” Asmodeus set his fork down while Magnus replied, pushing back his chair.

“We were just going to go to the pool, so we won’t be far. Is that okay?”

“Of course. Go ahead.”

Turns out that the pool wasn’t very far at all. After a few minutes of walking with their hands linked, Alec and Magnus walked out onto an area not far from the beach. The area was lit up with small spotlights and had a pool and a hot tub. Alec pulled his shirt off and walked over to Magnus who was trying to get his buttons undone. Alec gestured, asking if he wanted help and Magnus put his arms down for Alec to help him. They both grinned, thankful that no one else seemed to be around. They could have the pool to themselves and not have to worry about anything.

Alec pushed Magnus’ shirt from his shoulders and took his hand, leading him over to the hot tub which was sectioned off from the pool. Alec couldn’t recall if he’d ever been in one before.

They both sat close together, looking up at the stars while the bubbles frothed around them. Magnus thought to himself, glad that they’d not gone to that club. Having Alec there with him and the stars over their heads was enough.

“You know,” Alec spoke softly, making Magnus turn his head as their arms were wrapped around each other. “If we had gone out instead of staying here, I would have known exactly how it was going to go.”

“Oh?” Magnus rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. ”How would it have gone?”

Alec licked his lips. “We, umm, we would have gone to that club. Neither of us would have really wanted to go but feel obligated for the other. We’d be stuck in a crowded room. Maybe one of us get drinks, neither of us wanting to say no. Maybe you would have gone, knowing I don’t like crowds. You would bring shots over even though we’re not supposed to have a lot of alcohol but that’s all they really did there. You would come back, and I would be hiding how much I was stressing about having so many strangers around me. Maybe I’d be fighting off guy’s advances.” Magnus chuckled and nodded. “We’d drink together and one of us would pull the other over to the dance floor. You’re a dancer and I’m not so you would show me how it’s done, and we would grind against each other for a bit, loving being together but wishing we were alone. We’d make a mutual agreement that we were going to go back to the hotel, get lost on the way back and get soaked as it started raining, both of us feeling slightly miserable. We’d get back to hotel, thinking about how long it’s been since we slept together, crash back to our hotel room, me not remembering how careful I’d have to be about hitting your head. We’d fall into bed and absolutely go at each other all night, not talking much but doing it for the sensations and not really because we love one another.” Magnus raised his eyebrows, nodding in agreement. “We’d wake up the next morning, both of us hurting all over and not really remembering the night before, realising neither of us have taken our medication and that there was a lot of flashing lights at the club. We’d both be hungover, you would be sick, and I would be so frightened that you were going to have a seizure that I’d have to get your dad. It would interrupt some important work call or talk with Lily and he’d end up having to call my mom. It would put a dampener on the trip and cause problems for a while and we’d wished we’d just stayed in.”

“Wow…” Magnus rubbed his face. “I would never want to go through all that.” He turned around so he was sitting in Alec’s lap as he brushed his face. “Everything I need is right here in front of me.” Alec kissed him softly and they hugged one another for a moment, closing their eyes and appreciating what they had.

Magnus turned his head and looked over to the pool. The water was calm, a vast contrast to what they were in now. “Magnus? What is it?”

Magnus glanced back at Alec. “I haven’t been swimming properly in a long time.” He looked down sadly. “I was just thinking about how everything has changed and I’m not sure if I could even swim any more. I want to but I can’t explain how frightening it is because of my balance and weakness on my left side. I- I know I went in the physio pool, but it wasn’t the same-”

“Magnus,” Alec spoke softly. “-think of how far you’ve come. You had brain surgery not that long ago and look at you.” Magnus smiled slightly and put his arms around Alec’s neck, leaning into him as he spoke. “Give yourself some credit, okay. You’re the most amazing person I know, and I know it’s difficult but I’m here with you and I’m going to look after you. Whether it’s holding the door open or helping with your laces on days you find it difficult. I’m with you for every step.” 

***

Asmodeus swirled his drink around as him and Lily sat at the bar. Lily had wanted to discuss how the meeting went but Asmodeus was only replying with one word answers.

“There’s a live band here later! Want to go?”

Asmodeus shook his head. “Not really. I’m tired.” He drained his glass and got down from the stool he was on, a little wobbly on his legs.

“Okay, go steady, As. Let’s just go back to our room then.”

They walked back to the room in silence, Lily watching Asmodeus and feeling a little lightheaded herself. She was tired too, thinking about it. Asmodeus unlocked the door and it nearly fell against her as she walked through. Something was making him miserable and needed to be fixed.

“Okay, As if I’m honest, I’ve had enough.”

Asmodeus watched as Lily threw her bag on her bed. “What do you mean?”

“This! Us! Every time we have a fun day together, you go distant and don’t talk to me for a week!”

Asmodeus tried to walk past Lily to go to the bathroom and she blocked him. “Well, what do you expect from me?! I’ve been stressed about work!”

“Yes, work! You’re always stressed about work! You don’t want to do it anymore! You set up the company for her and it destroys you! You can’t keep going on like this! Sell the company and just travel or something! I can’t bear to see you torturing yourself like this!”

“How can I?!”

“Find something else that would make you happier!” Her voice softened and she tried to reach for his arm, making him flinch away. “As, I know everything you’ve been through-”

“How would you know?!” Asmodeus shouted and wiped at the tear on his face. “Everything I’ve been through?! You try losing your best friend like that! She was my world, Lily!”

Lily rubbed her two fingers on her forehead. “As, it’s been eighteen years. Do you ever stop to think about that? She wouldn’t have wanted it.”

“Don’t tell me what she would have wanted! Of course, I know that! You think I don’t!?” He sniffed. “Every time I even consider being with someone else it breaks my heart.” He paused. “It breaks my heart.”

“And you reflect it straight back on me! It hurts me, As! When I tell you that you need someone who understands that?! It hurts me! Because I get you like that! I know what she meant to you! How important it is for you to be with someone who understands that! That no matter what happens or who you end up with, you’re never going to let her go! It’s okay!” Her head shook as she tried to get him to look at her. Asmodeus turned away, his back facing her. “You don’t have to let her go, As! You don’t! I just want you to be happy again!”

Asmodeus growled. “Stop talking about me like that!”

“Why? Because it frightens you! My God, you are so scared of your own feelings! Why are you so frightened of anything real?!”

Asmodeus turned around sharply. “Because I’m in love with you!”

They both paused and Asmodeus’ face softened. Lily’s breathing sped up. “Because I’m in love with you, Lily, and if I screw things up, I’ll lose you! I’d rather have you in my life as my friend and suffer every day. I don’t care what you think of me-” Lily scoffed and shook her head with a smile. “-go ahead! Laugh at me! Tell me- tell me why you think it’s so funny!

Lily shouted. “Because I’m in love with you too!”

Asmodeus froze. “You are?”

“Yes, As.” She sighed and tried to move closer. “I have been for a long time and I was frightened too. I know your past but how could I ever expect you to feel the same if you were tied up in it-”

“Then why are you saying this now? After all this time?”

“Because you just told me that you loved me, and I’m done with being afraid. If there’s a chance you feel the same, then why can’t we just be happy?! Let’s just stop all this running around each other and just be together. I love you, As! I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone so if you’re happy to take that, knowing I accept you for your past then here I am-”

Lily was cut off as Asmodeus rushed forward to her. They both paused, staring into each other’s eyes and finally each other’s lips. Asmodeus put his hands on Lily’s waist as hers moved to rest on his middle. His eyes darted around, teary as his breath caught.

“As, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Her voice shook as she sniffed. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

Asmodeus nodded and tilted her chin up, gently fitting their lips together.

***

The water flowed over Magnus’ feet as Alec held onto his hand. There were quite a few steps leading down and Magnus’ hands shook as Alec guided him.

“Hey, you’re okay,” Alec smiled reassuringly. “You’re safe. I’ve got you. Just take it slow.” Alec stepped down again, holding tightly but gently onto Magnus’ arm. The water came to the tops of their legs and as they came down the last step, Magnus’ chest was moving quickly. “Is that enough? Do you want to get out?” Magnus shook his head. “You are totally safe, okay? It’s all at your own pace. We don’t even have to go any deeper than this.”

“Alexander, my leg is dragging and I don’t like it.”

“Okay, come on, that’s enough-”

“No, I want to do this.” Magnus reached his arms up as he pouted. “Alec, can you pick me up?”

Alec laughed, scooping him up so Magnus was being carried bridal style in his arms. Alec moved slowly until they were a little deeper, just enough that the water was brushing Magnus’ back.

“Okay, that’s deep enough. I’m going to set you down, okay?” Magnus’ watched as the drops glistened on Alec’s face; how he smiled protectively as he held his boyfriend in his arms. Anyone watching would think they were mad.

Magnus didn’t care one bit.

All he could think about was how every day, he found himself thankful that they had ran into each other.

“I’m going to lower you, okay? I’ll set you down, but I’ll hold onto you until you get your footing.”

Magnus nodded and Alec lowered him slightly, nearly falling backwards with laughter as Magnus clung to his neck and said it was cold.

Alec set him down next to the wall, gently holding out his hands the entire time. Magnus made an attempt to kick off and swim properly, but he wasn’t quite ready for it yet. After a lot of splashing, Magnus was panting and starting to look frustrated. It was quickly rectified when Alec pulled him over, putting Magnus’ arms around his neck. Alec’s arms curled around Magnus’ back and water ran down both their faces as Magnus wrapped his legs around Alec’s waist. 

“I don’t think I can do it yet.” Magnus looked down and Alec tilted Magnus’ chin up, making him smile.

“Hey, it doesn’t matter if you can’t quite do it yet. It doesn’t mean you should give up.” Alec kissed him softly, barely touching their lips together. “I love you and you’ll get where you want to be with time, okay?” Magnus nodded, feeling a lot better than he had done. “You ready to get out?”

Alec turned around, finding the steps in the wall of the pool. Magnus’ face flushed as he watched Alec climb out, holding on to the edge. Alec held out his hand and Magnus shook his head. He wanted to walk back through the water on his own. Alec understood that he needed to do it, but he walked alongside the edge of the pool, watching carefully to keep Magnus safe.

Magnus reached about halfway, and Alec could see he was getting tired. Magnus listened with a smile at the sound of Alec diving in and making his way over. Alec scooped him up and spun Magnus around, making him screech before helping him get to where it was low enough to walk.

They walked around to one of the white deckchairs and sat down next to one another until they had their breath back. They hugged one another tightly, resting their heads together as they listened to the sea a little further away. There was a rack of towels cut into the wall and Alec grabbed two, walking back and putting one over Magnus’ shoulders. He did the same to his own.

He knelt down in front of Magnus’ hugging him tightly as they both closed their eyes. “You were so brave today, Magnus. You have no idea how proud I am of you.”

Magnus’ clutched Alec tightly, moving back to make Alec look at him. “Thank you. I love you too.” Magnus rubbed his eye and shivered slightly. “I suppose it’s late.” He chuckled. “I’m so glad we didn’t go to that club, Alexander.” Alec agreed.

“Yes. Come on,” He held out his hand. “Speaking of which, we both have medication to take so we better go in.”

Magnus stood up, putting his arm around Alec as they walked together, both of them looking up as a shooting star soared through the air above them.

Magnus spoke quietly to himself, whispering so quietly that even Alec didn’t hear it.

“Thanks, Mama.”

***

The house was silent as Jace sat at the kitchen table and finished taking his medication. He had actually been hungry for a change and had managed to make everyone spaghetti. Maryse and Robert were still out, and he didn’t know if they wanted any, but he had set some aside for them. He used to get worked up about things going uneaten and was pleasantly surprised to see himself coming up with a solution instead of getting mad at himself.

He put his plate in the sink and grabbed his phone from the table, putting it in his pocket. It wasn’t very often that their house was quiet, and it was a little unnerving.

As he walked into the living room, he caught sight of his little brother with his blanket over him. It was covered in little dragonflies and was one of Max’s favourites.

Jace walked over, scooping his little brother up as he groaned against him. “Hey, Moo. Come on. Bed.”

“Will you take me?” Max mumbled against Jace’s chest.

“Of course. It’s what big brothers are for.” Jace made his way up slowly, trying to watch his footing as the blanket moved against his face. He pushed Max’s bedroom door open with his foot, setting him down and helping him to crawl under the covers. Jace brushed Max’s hair back and watched him until he started falling asleep, Max’s hand so much smaller as it rested on his own. Jace couldn’t wait to see Max grow up, to take the morals and values they had all taught him as he grew into a man. Jace was looking forward to it but just for one night, he whispered to him and told him to never grow up and that he wanted him to stay his little boy forever.

Jace pulled the curtains closed as leaned down to the box that was next to Max’s bed. He was glad that even in a time of advanced technology, Max still loved reading and being read to. 

There was one book in the box that still had plastic over it. A thin film of dust had begun to gather on the edge and Jace pulled it out. He pulled the plastic off carefully, unwrapping it and putting the plastic on the side. Max was fast asleep now but Jace moved to sit next to him, one leg under the covers.

_ “The Midnight Angel.” _

Jace smiled as he opened the cover. The front looked a little spooky for a children’s book but yet, at the same time, there was something warm and inviting that he couldn’t place. Jace turned to the first page and read quietly as he smiled.

_ “Sometimes we get hurt, you know? We can fall and scrape our knees. Sometimes we bump our heads, you know? Playing tag or climbing trees.” _

__

_ “Sometimes we don’t feel so good and need a hug from mommy. _

_ Sometimes we can't go to school because we feel all funny.” _

Jace turned the page and continued.

_ “Sometimes family members get sick and that is okay too. _

_ Because everyone gets a little sick sometimes. Even me or you!” _

__

_ “Sometimes Grannies get sick! Or siblings! Or even pets!  _

_ But remember, humans go to hospitals, don't take your brother to the vet!” _

Jace laughed softly.

__

_ “Sometimes, if someone's very sick, they will need special love and care.  _

_ So, ask them if they need extra help, such as walking to a chair.” _

__

_ “They might need to stay in a hospital or have extra help at home.  _

_ They might need to stay with family, so they know they're not alone.” _

Suddenly, something clicked. Jace knew his parents still read to Max every night and he knew why this particular one hadn’t been opened. They must have bought it while Alec was sick.

_ “It might be sad to think about, it’s difficult I know. But sometimes an angel might come from heaven and say that person needs to go.” _

__

_ “You might be angry at that angel for taking them so soon. For flying them aallll the way to heaven, way up past the moon.”  _

Jace sniffled slightly and looked next to him as Max slept peacefully, so glad that he’d never need to hear what he was saying.

__

_ “You might be angry at the angel for taking them away. You might have wanted more time with them and wanted them to stay.” _

__

_ “But if you ever feel angry or sad, there's a thing you can't forget. That even though, for now, they've gone, your love they won't forget.“ _

Jace wiped his nose, finding himself comforted to be thinking of his birth parents.

_ “So, look up and out your window tonight, at the twinkling stars above. Close your eyes super tight and they will wave and send you love.” _

__

_ “Even though you might not see them and might be asking yourself, “Where?"  _

_ Know that even if you can't see them now, it doesn't mean that they're not there.” _

_ “As they will walk in love beside you now and protect you from now on. They will always love and care for you, even if they're gone.“ _

Jace flipped to the last page, wiping tears from his face.

_ “So, keep your head up with a smile on your face and think of them with love. Because you have your own special angel now, who's watching from above.” _

Jace closed the book, carefully placing it between two others. He laughed as he still attempted to dry his face, tucking the blanket around Max and burying him in tightly. He felt lighter somehow.

He made his way out, taking one last look before closing the door silently. He was tired and ready to go to sleep but wanted to check Izzy first. Her room was dark, but he could see a square of light from where her phone rested on her bed. Izzy was lying on her side and sat up slightly, turning on her lamp. “Hey.”

“Hey, you okay?” Jace sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m okay. Not feeling great.”

Jace nodded. He couldn’t even fathom what Izzy’s body was going through right now. “Do you want me to call someone? Mom or Dad? Simon would come over if you wanted?”

Izzy shook her head. “No. Jace, everything has been about this baby lately. I’m- I’m still Izzy. I love hanging out with my brothers and going to the mall. It- it just makes me feel sometimes that all I am is a mom now.”

“Oh, Iz,” Jace moved to sit next to her and put his arm over her shoulder. “Everyone’s just excited. That’s all. It’s just the initial excitement of it all and it will calm down soon, Okay? How about,” Izzy looked up at him. “I take you to see a movie sometime? Just you and me?”

Izzy nodded as she hugged her brother. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

Jace kissed her head and they laid next to each other for a while. Jace missed having Max in his room considering it had only been for a week. Plus, with Clary staying at hers that night, Jace knew he would be going back to an empty bed.

With his love and admiration for his sister still coursing through him, Jace closed his eyes, holding Izzy protectively. “Just for a minute,” he told himself as he yawned and drifted off.

***

Housekeeping had been in the room by the time Magnus and Alec had gotten back. There hadn’t been much to clean but Magnus ran forward as he noticed a chocolate on each of their pillows.

“Nope!” Magnus scoffed as Alec pulled the chocolate from him and held it over his head. “Not until we’ve both taken our tablets!”

“Oh, you are so mean!” Magnus laughed as he jumped up and tried to grab it. He eyed up the other one, but Alec’s reflexes were quicker, and it soon joined the other in his hand. “There must be some law about withholding chocolate from your boyfriend!

After Magnus took his hearing aids out for the night and they went to their respective bags, both of them towelled off completely and sat down on the bed. The piles of different things they had to take were getting smaller, each one passing a goal or a landmark that they needed to reach. Some, they would always have to take; Alec’s anti-rejection drugs and Magnus’ epilepsy ones but they could live with that. Each day got them just a little bit closer to moving on from their past.

Finally, as they both finished, they fed the chocolate to the other, grinning as they did so. It was the little things sometimes.

Magnus announced he was using the bathroom as Alec sat back on the bed. He sent a few texts. One to his mother to tell her everything was fine and another to Jace that didn’t get a reply.

As Alec leaned back with his towel over his shoulders, Magnus came back into the bedroom. “Okay, small problem.”

Alec looked up. “What is it?”

“I didn’t notice before, but the bathroom only has a shower. No bath.” Alec stood up as Magnus scratched his neck, unsure of what to do. “What sort of hotel room doesn’t have a bath?” Alec thought to himself, remembering how brave Magnus had been with the swimming. He stood up, holding out his hand as he silently gestured. “Are you sure?”

Alec nodded, his voice a little shaky. “Yeah, come on.”

Alec led Magnus into the bathroom slowly, taking deep breaths and trying not to think of the scanner he had needed to go in. Alec turned the shower on carefully and as the water fell down, they saw why the room had no bath in the first place. At the top of the shower was a large, square panel. The water fell down like a block of warm rain.

Alec turned back to Magnus and hugged him softly, Magnus whispering in his ear quietly. “I’ll be there the whole time, okay? Say the word when you’ve had enough.”

They broke apart and Alec ran his hands down Magnus’ arms in silence. He whispered next to Magnus’ ear with a grin. “Magnus? Can I undress you?”

Magnus grinned and bit his bottom lip as he nodded. Alec kissed him softly before pulling Magnus’ swim shorts down and holding him arm as he stepped out of them.

Alec leaned forward again, speaking in awe as he gripped Magnus’ face. “Beautiful. Everything about you.”

Magnus beamed as he slid his hands down Alec’s back, gripping his shorts in his hands. He repeated the motion and once Alec’s shorts had been kicked away, they stood together for a moment, their bodies pressed closely together.

They stepped into the flow of water together, Magnus closer to the wall and Alec behind in case he wanted to get out. The steam wrapped around them as Alec slid his arms around Magnus’ waist. Magnus shivered and tried to keep his thoughts clean as Alec reached behind and produced a small shampoo bottle. They remained silent, slowly running it through each other’s hair.

After washing it out, they stood facing one another, brushing one another’s faces of running hands flat over stomach’s, light touches as they held each other close together.

“Are you okay?” Magnus spoke quietly as his arms wrapped around Alec’s back.

“I am, actually.” Magnus nodded and turned around again, inviting Alec to stand dangerously close. Magnus could feel his body responding to the situation they were in and closed his eyes, wishing it away. They stood for a moment and when Magnus thought he’d have to say something and apologise for his conduct because it had been a while, Alec whispered in his ear. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Magnus raised his eyebrows and whispered. “Go ahead.”

“This is kind of turning me on.”

Magnus sighed in relief, turning around and making Alec look down. “Oh, thank God.” He laughed quietly before Alec kissed him with purpose, parting Magnus’ lips and making him groan as Magnus’ arms crossed over his back. Alec pulled his head back as he gripped magnus’ face.

Magnus gasped, barely able to get his words out. They both had had a long day and he just wanted to be sure that Alec wanted the same things. “Do you want to..?” Magnus brushed Alec’s cheek.

Alec glanced down. “I’m pretty sure we both want this.”

Magnus kissed Alec messily, running his hands up Alec’s chest. “There’s no siblings around.”

Alec grinned and kissed Magnus again. “Neither of us is tired.”

“Alec?” Magnus teared up. “Neither of us have cancer. Think about it,” Magnus gripped Alec’s arm as the water continued to fall. “The only times we’ve slept together- you had leukaemia or I had a brain tumour.” Alec teared up, matching Magnus’ expression with a smile. He reached over Magnus’ shoulder, ready to get out as he turned off the water. He wasn’t totally over his fear yet, but like he had told Magnus, he would get there with time.

They grabbed a few towels from the side, drying one another slowly, hands lingering and sliding over arms and legs. They kissed one another gently, nothing rushed or frantic, and yet it worked the same, if not better. They brushed one another’s lips, kissing fingers and taking time to hold one another closely.

“You know, Magnus,” Alec mumbled as Magnus dried his boyfriend’s hair. “I always thought that our first time together after all of this would be crazy; What I said about the club and tumbling back here. But I don’t want it to be like that.”

“Me either.” Magnus smiled and shook his head, speaking on a breath. “Let this be a turning point then. For the first time, we’re both cancer free. I want this to be our start-”

“-The start to the rest of our lives together…” Alec mumbled softly.

“You’re right. I’m a big believer in everything happening for a reason.” Magnus brushed Alec’s neck. “If all the interruptions and things we’ve been through had to happen for us to be in this moment then I’m okay with that.” He shook his head, trying to get his point across. “I don’t just want to have frantic sex, knowing I’m in a hotel room for one night. I want to make love with my boyfriend because I love him and we’re both getting better each day. I want to do it because I love him and want him to feel good; to know, to see, how perfect we are together.”

Alec parted Magnus’ lips with his tongue, and they kissed for a good minute, wrapped around one another. Alec eventually scooped Magnus up and not for the first time that day, carried him in his arms. Pressure increased between their lips before Alec placed him down on the bed gently.

A thought went through Alec’s head. He knew this was going to be physically more difficult for Magnus and so he needed to know what Magnus wanted. He lay over Magnus who was back on the pillows, their lips crashing as it dawned on them that this was finally going to happen.

Alec pulled his head back for a second, Magnus’ lips chasing his own. “Do you- just want to let it happen? Just see where it takes us?” Magnus’ breathing rattled as Alec sucked at his neck.

“I’ve had a thought, but you don’t have to say yes.” Alec pulled his head back for a moment and Magnus grinned wickedly. He flipped them both over and Alec gasped in surprise as he hit the surface of the bed. “For months, Alexander, every action I’ve done has been consumed with what I can’t do. I don’t- I don’t want that to- to stand in the way-” Alec grinned with a glint in his eyes. Magnus hadn’t had much control of what he could do lately, and Alec knew what it would do for his confidence.

Alec licked his lips, driving Magnus mad as he spoke in a low voice. “Okay. Besides, we’re still learning how to do this with both of us being healthy. If something’s not working then we’ll- switch things up or we’ll figure it out, okay?” Magnus nodded, being put at ease. “Show me what you can do then…”

Magnus pulled at Alec’s ankles, making him slid down off the pillows. There was still a gentleness to everything they did but there was also something different. A raw hunger that they had been trying to quench for so long. Magnus lay over Alec, slowly sliding their bodies against one another. Alec moaned happily as Magnus lay against his chest, totally at his mercy as his hands and his eyes drifted down. He grabbed Alec in his hand, stroking at speed and making Alec gasp. Alec moaned against Magnus’ neck, every sound giving him more haste and making him move quicker. As Alec’s chest rose up and down and Magnus was satisfied he was doing a good job, he pinned Alec’s legs back and realised that they’d forgotten something. Close to breaking already, Alec rolled to the side and rushed over to the side pocket of his bag.

“There might be some in my bag from when I stayed over,” Magnus sat back and casually worked at himself with his hand, making Alec look more desperately. “Oh no.”

“What’s wrong? There might be some in mine from where I stayed over yours.”

“It’s not that.” Alec groaned with a red face as he pulled a box out. “My mom must have put them in. Oh, my life is over.” 

“Alec, it’s not.” Magnus tried to stop himself laughing. “Okay that’s a little embarrassing but it doesn’t matter. We’re adults and lots of parents-” 

“No!- what’s embarrassing is that they’re too small. Look!-”

Alec tossed the box over and Magnus caught it. He read over the packaging as he lay on his back and put his hand on his stomach. “That’s hilarious!”

“No, it’s not!” Alec shook his head and then joined in laughing as he lay over Magnus. Their chests moved together as they both cracked up. “Oh, what am I going to do now?!” Alec wiped a tear from his eye.

“Easy,” Magnus brushed Alec’s hair, throwing the box to Alec’s bag. “We can give them to Jace.”

“Oh, you are so bad!” Alec clutched his sides as Magnus was still dying with laughter.

“I think there’s some in mine. You know, I know neither of us have been with anyone else but if we both got tested at some point, for peace of mind, then we wouldn’t have to worry about using them.”

Alec nodded as he went back over to Magnus’ back and undid the zip. A moment later, he came out with a box and their strawberry lube. Alec lay back on the bed and Magnus leaned over him again, putting a condom on them both as he lubed up his fingers and repeated his process from earlier. They rolled a few times, Alec teasing as he flipped them and Magnus had to copy him to end up on the top again.

They moved against one another for several minutes, both of their mouths open as they clashed together. Magnus pinned Alec’s legs to his shoulders, working him open enough to fit inside him.

“Magnus, come on,” Alec mumbled with a low voice. A moment later, Magnus pushed into him, earning a groan from them both. “Ohhh! Oh, that’s so good!” Alec tilted his head back as Magnus pulled back and pushed into him again, going a little further. Alec noticed a twinge to Magnus’ face as he looked up at him. Only for a split second but it was enough. “Magnus? What’s wrong?”

Magnus pulled himself out of Alec and swung his leg around. “My leg is cramping up. Can we change position?”

Alec nodded, rolling off the bed quickly. It wasn’t ideal but they’d get there eventually. Alec held out his hand, pulling Magnus up with him. He leaned over the bed and Magnus went behind him, lining himself up again and pushing forward.

Alec made a frustrated growl as he laughed, shaking his head and making Magnus pull out again. “Arghhh! Sorry, Magnus. This isn’t doing it for me.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Magnus looked around for a second. “Okay, come here.” Magnus directed Alec back over to the bed. “Try going on your knees and lean against the headboard.”

Alec did as Magnus suggested, separating his legs slightly. Magnus fitted his legs on either side of Alec’s and they both cheered happily as they found something that suited them both. They moved quickly together, their skin making noises as it clashed and their hips rolled together. Alec moaned loudly with his head back while Magnus hugged him from behind and drove his hips forward. “So… good.”

Magnus grinned triumphantly as he felt himself getting closer. Alec was stroking himself in his own hand and Magnus put his hand over the top, working quickly as Alec went tighter around him. All that could be heard was the sound of their heavy breaths until Magnus spoke again.

“I’m close.”

Alec nodded with his eyes closed, taking in the sensations as he rested against his arm.“Yeah. Me too.” Magnus nodded. He pumped his hand quicker and let out a garbled moan as Alec came and clenched tightly around him. Magnus followed shortly after, whispering Alec’s name over and over again until he pulled out and fell down on his back.

“My God!” Alec panted. “That- was- amazing!”

Magnus lay out like a starfish, his chest going up and down as his face glowed. “I- I forgot how good that felt.” Too exhausted to get up, Magnus let Alec take care of them both. Alec tied up the condoms, chucking them in the bin before walking back over with shaky legs. Magnus reached up and Alec slid an arm under his back. The other went under his legs and Magnus nestled comfortably into Alec as Alec sat down at the top of the bed with Magnus across his legs.

“I love you, you know that?” Magnus spoke softly as Alec brushed a finger up his nose, bumping their heads together. “You saved me.”

“How?” Magnus opened his eyes slightly and Alec whispered back. Alec sat up, holding onto Magnus as he pulled the blanket up. “What did I do?”

Magnus’ eyes flickered as he mumbled softly. “After I spent what felt...like an eternity drowning; you taught me how to breathe again. You, Alexander Lightwood, gave me a reason to keep my head above the water and brought me into the light again.”

***

“I can see the house. I suppose we’re nearly home.

“I suppose we are-” Maryse spoke softly. “Thank you for lending me your umbrella again.” She snorted. “Even if it has holes in it now.” Robert squeezed her hand as they walked. It was funny to think about. His trusty old umbrella that was older than Alec. Maryse beamed. ”Promise me you’ll never get another.”

“I promise.” They continued walking. They should have been back by now really, but they hadn’t heard any fire trucks which was a good sign. They’d done about three laps of the neighbourhood already in an attempt to spend some more time alone together. Maryse hadn’t laughed so much in years. “Look how dark it’s gone, Maryse.”

“I suppose we have been out for a while.” Maryse checked the time on her phone. “Oh, my goodness, we must have lost track of time. It’s two AM.”

“It isn’t?!” Maryse showed Robert the phone and his eyes went wide. “I wonder what state the house is in.” They continued walking slowly. “Maryse? Did you really mean that? You would have run out in the rain and kissed me after one day together?”

Maryse nodded shyly, thankful the darkness covered the blush on her face. “I would have. It’s funny that after raising four children, that’s the only thing I’ve ever regretted. Ever.”

“That’s pretty amazing but not surprising. You have always been so wise to what is right.”

Maryse turned to him. “You think so?”

“I know. I think you’re incredible Maryse. You’re beautiful and kind and funny- we both came from bad starts but we built something beautiful together. Everything we’ve been through, we’ve stuck together.” They looked up as the sky flashed and the rain started coming down in torrents again. They ran together, laughing as they both got soaked, the umbrella not offering any help.

Finally, they reached the front door and stood under the ledge that went over it. They watched the rain together, the fresh scent in the air as Robert wrapped his arms around Maryse’s shoulder. “You know, Maryse, it’s been difficult lately, but I never would have wanted to go through what we have with anyone else.”

Maryse turned around in Robert’s hold, brushing his cheek. They both laughed as she put the umbrella down, handing it over to him as the sky broke apart. She smiled while she looked down, handing it to him as she wished she had twenty five years ago. As the sky flashed once more and the rain fell down, the battered old umbrella rested in his hand. Robert lifted Maryse’s chin up and felt his heart leap in his throat. His hand against her neck, he returned the favour with a gentle kiss. A kiss that he could have gifted her just as easily as when they were just two fourteen year olds with a beautiful future in front of them.

***

Alec opened his eyes as warm golden light bathed the room. His leg ached slightly as he tried to roll over and grinned against his pillow as he remembered the events of the night before. Magnus was facing away from him, sleeping on his stomach and Alec buried his nose under Magnus’ jaw as he tried to wake him up. Magnus chuckled happily, enjoying the feeling as Alec traced Magnus’ fingers on the pillow. He ran his hand down Magnus’ back softly, listening to Magnus’ breathing as it caught in his throat, still pretending he was asleep. Finally, Alec climbed over him and rested his face next to Magnus’, staring directly at his closed eyelids. Magnus opened them a second later and his face lit up at the sight of Alec.

“Good morning, boyfriend,” Magnus mumbled quietly.

“Good morning,” Alec replied. Magnus finally rolled onto his back, yawning adorably and making Alec’s heart melt. Alec put his arm over Magnus’ chest, breathing in the soft scent of him. Magnus ran his hand through the edges of Alec’s hair as he shifted to lay on his side.

“Can we just stay in this moment a little longer?”

“I’d love to. But the day is calling-”

Magnus groaned as they snuggled together. “Well, tell the day to go back to sleeeep!”

“Wow!” Alec chuckled. “You are not a morning person.” Alec rolled over to the bedside table, checking the time. “Oh, wow! We really do need to get up. You better call your dad or Lily. They’re probably looking for us.”

Magnus rolled over to his side, putting his hearing aids in before picking up his phone. He listened to the familiar sound of the Bluetooth connecting and sat still for a moment. He tried again and Alec attempted to look but he couldn’t see with Magnus’ back to him.

Magnus made a noise Alec hadn’t heard before. Something like an embarrassed groan crossed with a horrified laugh.

“Magnus? What is it?”

Magnus tried the phone again and placed it on the bed quietly. “Oh, you are not going to believe this.”

“What?! What is it?” Alec crawled over, the sheets gathered around him. 

“Umm…” Magnus clenched his teeth as two dashes of red went across his cheekbones. “I tried ringing them both.”

“And?” Alec sat forward.

“...both of their phones are switched off.”

***

Asmodeus opened his eyes to the sound of waves through the open window, remembering a time when Magnus was little and had insisted on going in the sea in his wellies. They had filled up, making Magnus screech as his father had tried to pull him out of the surf.

Asmodeus glanced down, noticing the arm that was draped across his chest. He looked sideways without moving his head, noticing the dark hair that lay over the pillow next to him. His eyes went wide as he ran his hand under the sheet, letting it reach his waist and then his thigh as it was met with no material. 

As Lily stirred next to him, she stared him in the face, both of their eyes going wide.

Something was different this time though for when they stared each other in the face, instead of springing apart and rushing to make excuses, both of their faces lit up in wide grins.

“Hello.” Asmodeus whispered quietly.

“Hi.” Lily licked her lips, brushing her hair back as she leaned up on her elbows. The blanket fell down her bare back and neither of them moved to put it back again.

“Are you okay, As?” She turned to lie on her back again, clutching the blanket they shared.

Asmodeus put his arm around her shoulder as he smiled. ”I am.” Lily put her head against Asmodeus’ collarbone and he kissed her head gently, noting how right it felt. How in every sense of the word, they were a perfect fit. He’d just wished they had realised or if not realised then admitted it sooner. “This feels right.”

“It does.” Lily turned her head, brushing his face before they kissed one another softly. “We’ll have to go back home soon. Alec and Magnus are probably looking for us as it is.” 

“Don’t go back to yours.” 

“What do you mean?”

Asmodeus sighed. “Come on, Blossom. You stay with us all the time anyway. This might take a while to get used to but if everything works out and I like to think it will, I don’t want to spend a night without you again.” Lily pouted slightly and Asmodeus took her hand. “Please, don’t go back to yours. We can sort everything out. Maybe it’ll take some gentle explaining to Magnus but Lil? I’ve slept in an empty bed for a long, long time and I don’t want to do it again. Life is short and I think I can make you happy. If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course, it is,” Lily replied and looked down. “What- what about Aminah?”

Lily moved over as Asmodeus rolled over to reach into the nightstand draw. He pulled out Aminah’s locket and they laid back together as he ran his thumb over the picture. “I think Magnus was right. I will always love her. Until my last breath. But sometimes, we can’t hold on to the past. Everyone grieves in different ways. For some, it takes longer. I know that it will never disappear, that ember that smoulders inside me and never fades. Some days I don’t notice it, on others it consumes me, but I know one thing now. I’ll take that flame and honour her. Live every moment like my son tells me to. I’ll kindle the bright light that I lost, take that flame, and out of the ashes, I’ll use it and flare to life again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you've enjoyed, feel free to drop a comment <3


	35. Love, Mama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus' birthday has finally arrived.  
> After all that they've been through, everyone is looking forward to the future. Meanwhile, Magnus finds out that the greatest gift he's been given is the family that he's found along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, the time has come ❤️ It's been a long journey but here we are. I'm sure you're eagerly waiting to read so I won't keep you waiting any longer.  
> Enjoy x
> 
> NSFW Warning <3
> 
> Song for chapter 35:[ "Everywhere I Go."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6aw9y9MzU&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=37&t=0s)

Sunday: 

Asmodeus offered Lily a shy smile as he carefully handed her a pile of her neatly folded laundry. She noted the fact that they were organised by colour and took them gratefully with a hand against his face.

“Wow, I’m impressed.” She laughed as Asmodeus sat down on the bed. “You have been taking notes!”

“Oh, do you want me to mess them up?” Asmodeus reached over, teasing Lily as she pulled the pile of clothes from his grasp. She stood up to pack them away and his face went serious for a moment. He watched quietly as Lily zipped up the holdall that was next to her. “You would have to stay then.”

Lily smiled sweetly and moved to stand in front of him. She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him softly before brushing his hair back. His hand lingered over hers and he closed his eyes before taking it gently. “It’s only for one night, As. Just to sort things out. Magnus would never forgive me if I missed his birthday and his present is hidden at mine anyway so I’ll have to go and get it.” Asmodeus stood up reluctantly, picking up the handle of Lily’s bag as he took her hand in his spare. Her eyes looked slightly sad so he hugged her for a moment and she put her arms around his neck, going up onto her tiptoes. Asmodeus was in his pyjamas and she smoothed her hand over his shoulder, hoping that he would be okay on his own for the night. “I’ll be back first thing. I promise. Tonight is about the two of you.”

They walked downstairs together, drawing out the time. The next time Lily spoke, she was standing on the doorstep with her bag placed at her feet. “You know what happens next?”

Asmodeus nodded, slightly sad as he held her hands. “Yeah. I know.” He brought Lily’s hands to his mouth and kissed them gently. 

“Promise you’ll call if you need to talk but take your time.” She kissed him tenderly as the moonlight glistened behind her. “Be with your son, okay? Tonight’s a night for all of us to reflect, I think.”

After standing on the drive, watching until Lily disappeared from sight, Asmodeus walked upstairs slowly. He knew what needed to be done and also knew he was stalling but he couldn’t bring himself to do what he was supposed to just yet.

He finished a few tasks, checking that Magnus had remembered to turn off the tap in his bathroom before strolling across the landing to close the window. The nights had started to get cold.

Thinking to himself, Asmodeus walked back into Magnus’ room and adjusted the thermostat on the wall. He knew he wouldn’t have Lily there that night and he wanted to make sure he’d be able to get to sleep. Magnus was also spending the night without Alec and he knew that if Magnus’ room wasn’t warm enough, he’d have to face more than a little grumbling over breakfast.

As he closed the curtains, something caught Asmodeus’ eye. He walked over to Magnus’ vanity table, reaching out to pick up the little red trinket that had been lovingly placed. He turned it over in his hand a few times, walking back to his own room as he spoke with deep breaths.

“Come on, As. You can do this.”

Asmodeus set the omamori down on his bed and hesitated before opening his wardrobe. His eyes immediately settled on the smooth black box hidden amongst his clothes. He pulled it out gently and shut the door after him, walking across his room before climbing under his covers. He switched his bedside lamp on, running his hand over the top of the box; taking in the cool smoothness with a loving gesture.

He picked the lid up gently and his fingers trailed over the neatly arranged notes.

All that remained unread were two envelopes

He lifted one out gently, noticing the weight of it. He didn’t know what this would contain but guessed that it would be a little different. Something held him back though. This was the last piece he would get of her. It might have been the start to Magnus’ adulthood but that meant the end of an era for Asmodeus. This was the last envelope that Aminah had left for him. The other was addressed to Magnus.

Something was different this year though. The tradition every year had been for him to quietly reflect on his own. Despite loving his son, admittedly, Magnus’ birthday celebrations had always been a sore point for him; trying to carry out Aminah’s wishes. He had wrecked himself once, over the fact that Magnus was blissfully unaware of his past and the role that she had played in it. Maybe this year, Asmodeus was still opening his letter, but he knew now that he could call Lily with no hesitation or even open it later with Magnus if he asked him to be there.

Taking a shaky breath, Asmodeus pulled the envelope out.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)  
  
Inside was a single piece of paper that was folded over. His heart sunk slightly. It was only as he went to set the envelope to the side that there was a rattle and he picked it up again. Hidden inside was a key and a USB stick. His heart raced as he kicked back the covers. His laptop was on the table in his room and he nearly dropped it twice as he flew back to his bed and plugged the USB in. Every second was agony and yet he was trying so badly not to get his hopes up.

There was one file on the stick. A video. He grinned as he sat back against his pillows, praying with everything he had that it would work.

 

_“Hello, my love.”_

 

Asmodeus put his hand over his mouth, his eyes immediately tearing up. At first all he had heard was a muffled crackle; the sound of material moving. This was followed with a light laugh and the sound of a bedside lamp being switched on.

His heart raced as he took what was showing in front of him. The tanned skin tone matching his own, hers kitten soft and with a hint of magenta undertone across her round cheekbones.

Suddenly, everything was flowing back to him.

How she had looked when he had gently placed Magnus into her arms for the first time; her eyes lit up in wonder at the life created between them. 

The two of them lying side by side together on the carpet and laughing until they cried; a house full of moving boxes that still needed to be unpacked.

How it had felt to brush her fingers, gifting her with feather light touches as they watched the sky. How she had turned her head as they lay on the grass and how he had grinned back, tucking her hair behind her ear as they shared their first tender kiss. Teenagers dreaming of all the adventures they would go on together.

How they had used to crash together as two school children, laughing and screaming as they ran towards one another, willing away those last agonising seconds before they could reunite and be together again.

 

_“It’s Minah.”_

 

Asmodeus took several shaky breaths as his eyes skimmed the screen of his laptop; desperate to take in everything that he could. The smile that beamed back at him was infectious; glorious and glowing; world shattering and world-building all at once. She was lying on her side with a blanket pulled up to her chin. Absolutely beautiful.

Aminah moved slightly on the video, pulling one of the blankets away from in front of her. Magnus was sleeping and she revealed him proudly, clutching him protectively to her front as he slept.

 

_“This might come as a little bit of a shock after all this time but I want you to know that that’s okay. I left you a small note as I usually do- before- before his birthday.”_

 

Aminah blinked slowly, smiling with narrow eyes. Her voice was like caramel. Smooth and sweet and gentle.

 

_“If you could just look over that then that’s all I’d ask of you. I understand how difficult this must be after all this time and I would never want to cause you pain in any way."_

_"There’s a phrase we used to share between us, wasn’t there? Can we have a curhat?”_

 

“Choor-hat.” Asmodeus said the word quietly. It had been a long time since he’d heard that word.

 

_“I thought I’d talk to you in English since I don’t know if you’ve kept up your practise. It was just something I wanted to mention in Indonesian because it was the lexicon from where we began. It’s a beautiful phrase, isn’t it? So special, I believe, that it doesn’t even directly translate into another language. I guess at best, it translates closest to ‘the pouring of one’s heart.’"_

_"I guess the point I want to make is why my note to you this year is a little different. This is it-”_

 

She glanced down and smiled sweetly, pulling tiny Magnus a little closer with tears in her eyes.

 

_“Our little baby boy has grown up. If you’re listening to this at the right time then his eighteenth birthday is tomorrow. Oh, I wonder what he looks like now. I bet he’s beautiful and strong and brave. Just like you are."_

_"As, you have to know that I would have given anything, everything, to be with you right now. Unfortunately, as you know, biology was not on my side and we can not wish for miracles where they are not meant to be, can we?"_

_"However, despite everything that has happened, one beautiful miracle definitely did come from the two of us-”_

 

She glanced down again as she laughed softly.

 

_“He’s gorgeous, isn’t he? My last legacy. Our little Emas. As, you must know that I thank my angels everyday that even if I can’t be with you, where you are now, there’s a tiny piece of me still by your side, spreading love and acceptance in the world. A tiny secret that we both wished for, for so long."_

_"Can you promise me, my love, that tomorrow you’ll hold him just a little tighter for me? Show him enough love for the both of us? I’m sure that you will.”_

_“I often worry about how you’ll cope with the coming days, weeks, months, maybe even years. As, promise me that you won’t close your heart off after- after I’m gone. The world is full of miracles and disasters, all turning and changing in the circle that entwines us all. While we go through these hardships, we can’t allow them to become stronger than us. To give in to them. We must strive to be braver, bolder, faster, to rise up above it all, surrounded and supported by those who care about us."_

_"Whoever crosses your path and wherever your future leads you, it would be a crime for you to spend it closed off. After all, what is a sunset, a memory, a new book, if you can’t share it with someone you care about? Life is made to be lived, As, and that includes its beauty and all its wonderful heartache.”_

_“And what about our little boy? I guess he’s not going to be so little by the time you read this. He’ll be finishing school, maybe finding a job or going to university. Is he surrounded by friends? People who look after him? Found his own someone special?”_

 

Asmodeus laughed quietly, wiping his eye with his thumb. “Yes, sweetheart. He- he’s well looked after.”

 

_“I know that wherever the two of you are now, you’ve seen so many beautiful things and been to so many places. It absolutely warms my heart to think of you visiting those places I have suggested over the years. All I’ve ever wanted was the two of you to be happy and if I could have had a little part in that then it would mean everything to me.”_

_"I wish I could talk with you for hours, my love. I wish I could pause time right here so you’d never have to face the road that is ahead of you as you raise our son. Time must go on, however, no matter how we will it and I’m afraid I can’t stay awake for long these days. All I want you to know is that I love you with all my sun, moon and stars. Both of you."_

_"Look after him, As. And let him look after you. Life is a fleeting flicker and the most important thing is to just be yourself and do what makes you happy."_

_"I have a feeling you know what I would like for Magnus’ birthday this year. He’s ready for it. It will be frightening at first and seem overwhelming but if he’s anything like the two of us, he’ll rise up to anything that crosses him.”_

_“This is the part I never wanted to get to. I don’t want to say goodbye. I won’t. You know what I believe in and this is never goodbye. You’re never from my thoughts or my heart and I am sure it’s the same with you. However… this is where you must continue from... without me. Our time together, As, was just like a shooting star. It may have been short but whilst it happened, it was breathtakingly beautiful.”_

_“Thank you, my love. Thank you for being the light on my darkest days. My best friend. My love. My husband.”_

***

Jace leaned on his arms as he hung over the back of the living room sofa. Izzy was scrolling on her tablet, her feet up as she faced sideways. She acknowledged her brother with a sideways glance, continuing to scroll down the screen. 

“Can I help you?”

“Not really. Just wondered what you were up to. I figured since Magnus has been teaching us all to cook that we can try something different. You know, since Mom and Dad are out. You want me to do it?”

Izzy carried on scrolling without looking up. Her hair was in two plaits and she batted Jace’s hand away as he tried to tickle her nose with one. “Quit it! No, I’m really craving pizza tonight so I’ll cook. Do you know if Magnus is staying over tonight? I might need to do two.”

Jace reluctantly glanced upwards. Upbeat music with a strong baseline could be heard through the ceiling. “No, he said he was going home. Or he’s supposed to be anyway.”

“Are they STILL upstairs?” Izzy turned off her tablet screen, setting it to the side. “Okay, Is anyone going to mention that they literally haven’t left Alec’s room all week?”

Jace shrugged. “Honestly, I’m trying not to think about it.”

“Surely, it can’t be healthy.”

Jace smirked. “I don’t know, I’ve never seen them with such healthy glows.” He gestured to the tablet, changing the subject from their brother’s sex life. “What were you looking at?”

“Mom found this verified thing to do with schools where they put young parents in contact with one another. But I’m not sure about it yet." She lifted her arm and waved her hand dismissively. "What’s in your hand?” Jace held up four tickets and Izzy reached up, taking two of them from him. ”Concert tickets?”

Jace held up the two remaining tickets. “Well, the spa day tickets were actually for you and Clary. I mean, me and Simon need to get to know-”

“-are you trying to date my boyfriend, Jace Lightwood? There’s enough scandal spreading through the culdesac about us as it is.” Izzy pouted at Jace and back to the tickets in her hand. The band were well known in the area and impossible to get tickets to. She wasn’t actually sure how Jace had managed it.

“Fine!” Jace rolled his eyes. “Take the concert tickets. When me and Simon come back with skin smoother than yours, don't be the one complaining.” Izzy grinned at the tickets in her hand, wondering if Clary knew or if she could surprise her. “Are you going to make us food or what?”

“Fine.” Izzy swung her legs around and sat for a second before standing up. “I’ll be there in a second.”

“Great, I’m starving!” Jace clapped excitedly as he went to walk out. He remembered something and did a double take, surprising Izzy as he turned back. “When we’re done, can you take Max out of the way for a bit? I know there’s nothing wrong with taking my medication but I still don’t like him seeing me take it. Is that okay?”

“Okay, deal, but you have to go tell Alec when dinner is ready.”

“Can we flip a coin?”

Izzy laughed. “Absolutely not.” 

***

Alec let out a breath as he rolled off Magnus and onto his back with a thud. Both of them panted for a moment, neither of them saying anything. When they had their breath back, Magnus reached over and turned off the speaker that was on Alec’s bedside table. Alec was still laying there silently with a huge grin on his face.

“Ale- Alexander- you’ve definitely- you've definitely stepped up your game.”

“Look- look who’s talking-” Alec rolled his head back as he gripped his duvet. His cheeks were flushed and his body was humming happily. “You’re- you're like a drug, Magnus. Whatever I do, I just can’t get enough of you.”

Magnus turned his head and they laughed at one another. The past week had been something else. Their night together at the hotel had only been just the beginning. After getting home, the two of them had finally been able to heal together and start going to all the places they had talked about. For the first time, they were both physically and emotionally in the right place. There was a wonderful knowledge between them now and they were fully embracing the fact that they could just be two crazy and hormonal teenagers.

Magnus leaned over Alec, moving to lie on his front. Alec pulled the blanket over them both as Magnus gripped his face. They kissed again slowly, Alec’s hands sliding down Magnus’ back to knead his butt. Magnus moved against him, kissing Alec even harder as he moved further over to lie on him. Alec recalled in the back of his head that Magnus had planned to go home ages ago, but who was he to question the concept of time when he had a very keen, and very hot, boyfriend in his bed?

Alec removed his arms and bent them behind his head. Magnus’ hands slid down Alec’s chest as their bodies rolled against one another’s. Just as Alec found himself breaking, on the verge of asking Magnus if he wanted to go for another round, Magnus made him pout by rubbing their noses together, reminding Alec that he should have been heading home.

Alec shook his head and Magnus laughed. He knew Magnus’ reasons for needing to go home but he didn’t want to sleep in an empty bed. Especially not after the mind-blowing week that they’d had.

Alec mumbled quietly as Magnus lay on top of him.

There was something beautifully vulnerable in the way they lay together in the quiet room with no barriers between them. No secrets between them. Nothing hidden. “It’s not fair. I should be able to wake you up on your birthday.” Alec thought for a moment as he smiled to the side. “You know, I think I might be able to persuade you to stay.”

“Oh, can you now?” Magnus raised an eyebrow and Alec’s face froze. As Magnus’ expression broke, Alec flipped them both and kissed Magnus with everything that he had. Magnus groaned quietly, laughing as Alec moved against him and he wrapped his legs around Alec’s back. Alec slid his hand up Magnus’ thigh, the other gripping his face. Magnus’ body started to respond, although he didn’t know how at that point, and Alec lifted his head to catch his breath. Magnus kissed him softly again, gently patting Alec's shoulder. He tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head. The voice that said he was feeling very turned on by Alec’s brooding. “Alexander, come on. I really have to go now. ”

“Ugh, okay.” Alec pushed the blanket away and climbed off, walking comfortably across the room as he grabbed his robe from the back of the door. He threw his arms into it and without tying it, walked back across the room with Magnus’. 

Magnus rolled onto his front as he checked his phone, pulling it out from under his pillow. “I promise I’ll be over first thing. I should be home by now. I was supposed to be leaving-” His eyes widened as he laughed. “An hour and a half ago. Oh, you are so damaging to my productivity!”

Alec sat down on the bed next to him, tilting his head up so he could press their lips together. He ran his hand across the dip in Magnus' lower back, taking in his perfectly rounded butt cheeks. “How am I?”

“Because we’ve been up here for an hour and I told my father I would be home.”

“So?”

“Alexander,” Magnus cracked up. “I came up here to get my jacket and we ended up having sex again!” 

“Oh, please! You had my pants down before we even got off the landing!” Magnus fell to the side as his shoulders shook with laughter and Alec tried to keep his eyes focused. As he regained his composure and rolled back onto his stomach, Alec draped Magnus’ robe over his shoulders, brushing back his hair with a gentle touch. “What you reading there?”

Magnus smiled up at him as he glanced at his phone again. “Cat’s going on holiday tomorrow so she was just saying happy birthday to me before she goes. She wants us to meet up when she’s back so she can give me something.”

“I’ve got something for you.” Magnus snorted as he set his phone down and Alec rolled his eyes. “No, seriously.” Magnus continued to chuckle under his breath and Alec hit him with one of his pillows. “Get your mind out of the gutter for two seconds!”

Alec stood up and tied his robe, much to Magnus’ dismay, opening the draw of his bedside table. He pulled a reasonably sized box out and held it out to Magnus.

“Is that for me?” Magnus grinned shyly as he went up on his knees, pulling his arms into his sleeves. He sat down as Alec passed him the box and joined him on the bed. “My birthday isn’t until tomorrow though.”

Alec put an arm around him and kissed his temple. “I know and I’ve got you something else but this is just something I wanted to to have while it’s just us here.” Magnus unclipped the box and pulled off the lid to the scent of spices. “While you went shopping with Izzy yesterday, I was at your house.” Magnus looked up in confusion, pulling the lid off further so he could see the perfectly iced biscuits. “Your dad gave me the recipe and showed me how to make them. They’re your mom’s biscuits. She used to make them for your dad and now I’m going to make them for you.” Alec hesitated. “If-” Magnus nodded, knowing exactly what Alec was going to say. “When- we have children… we can make biscuits for them. Together.”

Magnus’ eyes teared up as he tried multiple times to get a word out. Alec was pouting with a small smile and Magnus set the box down gently as he hugged him. “Alexander- I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. Just know that I love you and that I’ll do anything to make you happy.” Alec let him go and Magnus looked down, picking up one of the biscuits. He broke it in half and sniffled as he took a small bite.

Magnus put his hand over his mouth. “They’re beautiful, Alexander.”

“They are?” Alec grinned with big eyes as Magnus put a piece into his mouth.

“Yeah-” Magnus’ eyes welled up as he looked down at the biscuit in his hand. “They taste like her hugs.” He set the box down and gripped Alec’s face, looking between his eyes. “I love you. I love you so much, Alexander. These might be incredible but the greatest gift I ever got given was you.”

Alec touched a hand to his chest and as they leaned to kiss each other, there was a knock on his bedroom door.

“Alec?! Izzy wanted to cook and I don’t feel safe! Mom and Dad are at Andrew and Eleanor’s house and the microwave is sparking. Can you come and help?!”

Alec rolled his eyes and put his finger against his mouth, indicating for Magnus to be quiet. He gestured him closer and they giggled as they kissed one another messily. Alec broke away for a second, shouting as Magnus fell over him. He sunk back against the pillows with a grin as Magnus gripped his face. “We’re still looking for Magnus’ jacket! Just give us a minute!” Magnus moved over and swung his leg over Alec, making his eyes widen as he laughed quietly. He ran his hands over Alec’s chest as their mouths pressed together; soft at first and then more certain as something flipped within them both. Magnus whispered with a low voice in Alec’s ear, pulling at the cord of Alec's robe as he slipped his hands inside.

Alec glanced to the door and back to Magnus, who was looking down as his hands wandered freely. Alec looked at Magnus and nodded desperately, shouting to his brother. “Actually, something’s come up a second! We’ll be there in five!”

Alec rubbed his nose against Magnus’ and flipped him over as he tried not to laugh. Magnus moved against him hungrily, pulling the rest of the cord undone as his tongue met Alec’s in several quick strokes. Biting his lip, he pushed the robe off Alec’s shoulders. Alec gripped Magnus’ neck tightly, crashing their mouths together as they both groaned. Magnus broke his head away for a split second, as their bodies rocked together.

“Tell you what, “ Magnus shouted, his mouth half occupied as Alec fought to rid him of the rest of his clothing. “We’ll be there in ten!”

***

"What about this one?" Clary held up a scarf for what must have been the hundredth time. Her neck was aching and she wanted to go to the food court, so she could set her bags down and get some noodles, but Simon was digging his heels in.

"No, not that one." Simon stuck his tongue out to the side as he scanned the racks.

"Simonnn. Come on!" Clary disappeared around the end of the aisle. "It's one scarf. I'm sure Izzy will be grateful, whatever colour or pattern it is."

"Nope." Clary lost sight of Simon's head over the top. "She said she wanted to find one for school. It has to be perfect."

"Oh! What about this one?!" Clary walked a little further down and pulled a red scarf out on a hanger. "It's exactly her type of thing." She picked her head up when there was no reply. "Simon!?" There was no reply again and she walked back to where she had last seen him. As she rounded the corner, Simon had his back to her. "Si?" She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

Simon turned around and lifted his head. In his hands was a tiny blue shirt. A spoof of a Star Wars quote, the doll sized shirt read: ‘I love my father.'

Simon's lip wobbled and that's when Clary noticed that his eyes were glossed over. "Clary," Simon sobbed, barely a whisper. "It's- it's so tiny."

"Oh, Si," Clary laughed, hanging up the scarf as she pulled him into a tight hug. "You're okay."

"Clary," Simon sniffed as something finally sunk in. "I'm- I'm going to be a dad."

"You are," Clary grinned as she hugged him tighter, resisting the urge to wipe her eyes and potentially mess up her makeup. "The best dad."

***

Jace ran down the stairs in a panic as Izzy pushed the kitchen window open. Max had been waving a cloth around to try and dispel the smoke but he was now battling Honey for custody of it and was laughing as his socks slid on the kitchen floor.

“Max, just give it to her.” Izzy growled, feeling frustrated as she opened the microwave door. “You’re not supposed to encourage her to do that.”

Jace skidded into the kitchen in his socks and Max turned his head, dropping the cloth. Honey shook it triumphantly and took it off to shred somewhere.

“Jace," Max pointed as Jace walked past him. "I don’t think microwaves are supposed to do that. It was like a pretty light show.” 

“You think?!”

“Maybe if we do this-” Izzy went to press another button and Jace jumped in front of her.

“Leave it! Alec will be here now.”

Izzy crossed her arms in irritation. She didn't care how little he probably had on. She was hormonal and currently without pizza so she would go up those stairs and drag him if she had to. “Dare I ask, where the hell is Alec?”

Jace leaned over the sink and pushed the window further outwards before tying up the blinds. Thinking back, maybe they should have stopped the microwave when the sparking had started. “Looking for clothes.”

“They didn’t find the jacket?” Izzy leaned against the counter with her arms crossed, considering testing a theory to see how fast Simon could run there with dinner if she called.

Jace paused and looked at Max who was at the table, playing with two of Izzy's old dolls. “Looking for other clothes.”

Izzy and Jace turned their heads as a breathless Alec ran down the stairs, pulling Magnus behind him by his hand. Both were in open robes and just their underwear. “What-" Alec swallowed as he tried, and failed, to hide his panting. Magnus’ hair was in a spiky mess and he was deliberately covering the side of his neck. "What is it? We’re very busy.”

“Clearly.” Jace pointed. “The microwave is messing up.”

Alec let go of Magnus’ hand and waved his hands through the smoky air. Max jumped down from his seat and ran over for Magnus to pick him up. Magnus smiled quietly to himself as he caught him and he managed to pick Max up without his balance knocking him over.

Alec pulled the microwave door open with a sigh. “You idiots. You can’t cook in a microwave on a metal tray! The radiation bounces off the metal-”

Jace’s thoughts trailed off as Alec went into an explanation about physics. “Yeah, yeah. Can we still eat it?”

“I guess so but why don’t you just put it in the oven instead?” 

Izzy walked over to the oven and pulled the door open. “I do but It always burns.”

“Well, what number do you put it on? Magnus showed you this the other day. Come on, guys.”

Izzy rolled her eyes. Alec's cheeks were rosy and there was just enough of an overly excited arrogance to him that was irritating her. “He said second lowest for pizza, so four.”

Magnus laughed and touched his forehead. Max had his hands on Magnus’ shoulders. “Iz, the second lowest is two.”

“How was I supposed to know that?!”

“Iz, I say this in the most lovingly way that a brother can.” Alec walked over and switched the oven on. He patted Izzy’s shoulder gently and tried to scruff her hair. “Please brush up on the numerical system before you become a doctor.”

Izzy stuck her tongue out as Magnus adjusted Max on his hip.

Max put his arms around Magnus’ neck and spoke quietly while Izzy and Alec shouted at one another. “Hey, Magnus? Alec said the microwave has ra- radiation.”

“It does,” Magnus assured him as Max pressed their cheeks together. “But it’s still safe, I promise.”

Max giggled. “If we eat it, do we turn into superheroes that shoot pepperonis?”

"Not exactly." Magnus laughed as he set Max down gently, holding his waist until his feet were flat on the floor. He was starting to get heavy and Magnus couldn’t hold him for long. Alec and Izzy continued to bicker, joined in by Jace who wanted to put his piece in.

"Magnus, you're all warm." Max glanced up, holding on to Magnus' hand. "Have you been exercising?"

Magnus' eyes went wide and he froze, watching as an oblivious Alec shoved Jace's shoulder. By the time he had tied his robe properly and blinked again, Jace had pulled the cord of Alec’s robe; getting him in a headlock while Izzy boredly tapped at the screen on her phone.

Magnus walked over to the table and pulled his wallet out from his bag, flicking through it. He yawned and stretched his arms as he walked past again.

"Tell you what, Max-" Something was passed to Max and he stared at the note in his hand. Magnus spoke casually, tapping Max’s shoulder as he made his way up to get changed. "Here's two bucks. Ask me again when you're twenty."

***

“I just texted Alec. The kids are all fine and getting along.”

“That’s good.” Robert waved, glancing behind himself as they pulled off the drive. “Andrew and Eleanor’s kids are nice. Maybe they’d get along with the rest of our lot.”

“We could ask them if they wanted to come over for tea next week. I’m sure Andrew and Eleanor would like that. Hey, this isn’t the way home.” Maryse glanced out of the window. “Where are we going?”

“I just thought we’d take a little detour before we go home.” Robert turned the wheel and they drove for around ten minutes before Maryse had realised where they were going. It was the old creek where they used to walk with the kids. She couldn’t remember when they had been there last. It could have been that long ago that Max was still a baby.

Robert pulled the car up and turned off the ignition. Their journeys often ended up like this. Both of them silently reflecting before they went back to the chaotic wonder of their lives as Mom and Dad.

They remained in a comfortable silence as they watched the stream flowing in front of them. Some of the leaves were starting to change colour. Robert reached over and took Maryse’s hand, linking their fingers as they smiled shyly at one another.

Maryse turned to the window and glanced down at the pink flowers that dotted the edge of the grass. It reminded her of something.

Bunches of pink roses and one that was white by mistake.

\-------

_Maryse stood in her bathroom mirror, watching her reflection carefully. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and tried to stop her lip wobbling as she looked up. She was nineteen. She was nineteen and living with her strict parents. She was supposed to be studying in her room and instead, here she was in the bathroom with tears down her face and a harrowing knowledge that nothing was ever going to be the same again._

_She shot out of the room, running down the corridor. Her parents would be home any minute and she needed to just get out of there. Her heart raced as she turned the corner of the large house and practically flew down the stairs. Her hand made contact with the ornate door handle and she threw the door open, only stopping when she nearly knocked someone flat._

_Robert._

_“What- what are you doing here?” Maryse panted as Robert beamed back at her. “I was going to call you so we could meet you in our spot.”_

_“They’re cutting down trees in the forest. I checked and the one with our initials is fine.” Robert held up the flowers in his hands. The same as the single one that he’d plucked from the vase on his table once. When Maryse had been upset about her friends and he’d leaned over with a boyish grin. “I picked these for you.” Maryse wiped her face and he’d realised she’d been crying. “Are you okay?”_

_Maryse shook her head. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”_

_“Well, Is there anything I can do to help?” Robert reached for Maryse’s hand and she placed hers over his._

_“There’s not much that can be done about it now.” Maryse smiled, feeling relieved that Robert was there but also slightly terrified. Their worlds were never going to be the same again. “Robert,” she gasped. “I’m pregnant.”_

***

"Hand over the slice, Jace!"

"Max, stop resisting! I had it first!" 

"Yes, but I'm the smallest! That means I need the most food."

"No. You. Do. Not!"

"Tell you what-" Max dropped the pizza slice down with a thud. "Take it!"

Jace grinned and reached for the plate in the middle of the living room table. Their own conflict resolved from earlier, Alec and Izzy rolled their eyes in agreement, questioning why their brothers were fighting over one slice of pizza when there was a huge pile.

As Jace reached for the pizza slice, Max picked it up and licked it down the middle. Jace held up his hands in annoyance and Max shrugged with a childlike humour, taking a bite into the end.

"Watch your back, you little demon!" Jace shouted. He watched as Max tore off a large segment of it and dropped it down to Honey. She snaffled it quickly and wagged her tail expectantly. "What the hell?! I could have had that!" 

"Boys, enough!" Alec shouted. "Jace, stop being a man-child and eat your dinner!" Alec turned to Max and pointed the straw from his drink. "And Max, stop feeding the dog! I'm serious! It's bad for her training and it's not about you, it's about Magnus having her to help him!"

"Alec, it's okay."

"It's not, Iz. We want her to pass, don't we? We're going to have to start being strict with her. Max has to understand that she’s a pet but she’s also a working dog-” Alec’s serious expression was broken as Magnus ran up behind him and threw his arms around his neck. They rocked back and forth slightly for a second before Alec turned around and stood up.,Jace, Izzy and Max going back to their discussion from earlier. “Hey.” Alec rubbed their noses together, noticing Magnus’ bag by the living room door. He whispered under his breath, so quiet that no one but Magnus heard it. “Magnus, I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t either,” Magnus whispered back. He put his arms over Alec’s shoulders, linking his hands. Alec’s hands were on Magnus’ waist as he took in what Magnus was wearing. He knew that over the past few weeks, more and more of Magnus’ stuff had ended up at his but he hadn’t imagined this outfit on him. Tight black jeans, lace up boots and a red plaid button down with a leather jacket thrown over it. Magnus’ hair was unstyled and Alec could only see a flash of purple behind one of his ears.

“You look so gorgeous,” Alec whispered, feeling slightly breathless.

Magnus crossed his arms tighter and Alec tugged at Magnus’ waist. The room went silent as they kissed one another, a little more passionately than they usually would have in front of everyone else. After about twenty seconds, as Alec and Magnus pressed even tighter together, Jace cleared his throat and Alec remembered they had company. He turned around with a slightly red face, taking in the sight of Jace with his arms crossed and Max giggling as Izzy smirked in mock horror with her hands over his eyes.

Alec cleared his throat as he brushed Magnus’ hair back. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait for my parents to come back with the car? I could drop you home.”

Magnus shook his head. “I called a cab. It’ll be here any second. Besides-” He glanced around Alec and whispered. “We both know that if you drop me home, you probably will end up staying the night.” Alec grinned as he bit his lip. “Be with your family. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Awww, are you going?” Max jumped down from the table and ran over as Magnus and Alec separated. He headed straight for Magnus and Magnus swung him up onto his hip. Alec nearly squealed. Max had become so attached to Magnus lately. They all had. But how could they not?

“I am. I have to go check on my father. You understand that, Max, right?” Max nodded and moved for Magnus to set him down. “Good lad.”

Max ran across the room and came back with Honey’s harness in his hand. She immediately ran to sit next to him and Max clipped the buckles together. It was only a temporary one for now and read ‘Dog in training, don’t touch,’ on the side. “Honey? Work.” Max grinned as he grabbed the handle and walked her over to Magnus. “Good girl. You look after Magnus for us, don’t you?” Magnus crouched down, wobbling slightly on his toes until he got his balance. Alec held his hand out but Magnus held his up in reply, indicating that he was okay. Max jumped over to him, hugging him tightly as Magnus tried not to fall over. “We love you, Magnus.”

“And I, you.” Magnus squeezed him tightly and ruffled Max’s hair before standing up. Izzy hugged him next and he kissed her forehead before wishing her luck with school the next day. Jace followed after bit of cheering, clapping Magnus’ back and thanking him for making his brother happy.

Magnus checked the time on his phone before sliding it back into his pocket. “My cab will be here now.” Everyone was sniffling and Max was hidden behind Jace’s legs, clutching on to him sadly. “Guys,” Magnus laughed as his eyes teared up. As Lily and Asmodeus had been starting their relationship, Magnus had wanted them to have some space. He’d been back and forth to see his dad, and stayed there in the day, but this was the longest since he’d spent the night at home. It would be strange not to wake up and have breakfast with all of them. “I’m going to see all of you tomorrow, okay?”

After a few more goodbyes, everyone went back to their dinner as Alec took Magnus’ bag in one hand and linked their fingers with the other. Magnus held onto the handle of Honey's harness and she walked in front obediently. They walked into the hallway in silence until Alec let go of Magnus’ hand, setting the bag down so he could look through the cupboard in the hallway.

“What are you doing, Alexander?”

“Aha!” Alec turned around and Magnus laughed softly at what he had in his hands. It was Alec’s old bobble hat. The one he had been wearing when they had met. When they’d danced in Alec’s room with candles around them. When Magnus had slid it from Alec’s head and called him beautiful as they kissed for the first time. Alec spoke in a low voice as he stretched it to pull it over Magnus’ head. “There. Beautiful.” Alec’s eyes skimmed back and forth. “I don’t want you getting cold.”

Magnus grinned as they walked outside, Alec carrying Magnus’ bag as they walked. The cab wasn’t there yet so they stood on the pavement together with their arms around one another. Alec tilted Magnus’ chin up with a finger and smiled with their lips an inch apart. “You’re going to have the best birthday tomorrow. I’ll make sure of it.”

Magnus laughed. “Sounds promising.” He raised his eyebrows. “And what will this spectacular birthday involve?”

“A lot of this-” Alec held on to Magnus’ waist and pulled Magnus towards him. Their lips pressed together softly and then Magnus pulled Alec closer with one arm around his neck. They broke apart for air and Magnus glanced back and forth over Alec’s face. “What is it?”

“It’s just-” Magnus shook his head. “My last birthday, I was in a bad place. I’d finished my radiation a few months before and was still having symptoms. My father was distant, although now I understand why, and my friends-” Magnus creased an eyebrow. He couldn’t recall any of their names. “They never even mentioned anything about it.” Alec lifted his head, expecting Magnus to look sad. As the warm light shone down from the streetlight above them, he could see Magnus was smiling softly. “It’s all over with now, isn’t it?”

“I hope so,” Alec mumbled softly. “We can stop running now, Magnus.”

Magnus kissed him again gently and Honey’s collar jingled as she sat up. The road was lit up slightly as a cab came up the street and pulled in.

“I guess this is my ride.” Magnus turned his head.

“I guess it is.” Alec leaned down and touched a hand to Honey’s head. She was staring up at Magnus without breaking eye contact. He picked up Magnus’ bag and passed it to him with a pout. “I’ll miss you.”

“I miss you too, but It’s one night, Alexander,” Magnus laughed. He went to step off the curb and turned back around as Alec tilted his head. “Oh, I know. I’ll give you something to think about.” Magnus set his bag down for a moment and whispered in Alec’s ear. He lifted his shirt, showing Alec the waistband of his boxers. “I borrowed something from your draw. Hope you don’t mind. Goodnight, darling.”

As Alec’s mouth fell open, Magnus’ whistled to Honey and jumped off the curb with a skip in his step. He waved with a smirk on his face before getting in and winked at Alec as the cab pulled away.

Alec held his hand up in a wave, watching until Magnus disappeared from sight. He shook his head as he walked into the house slowly, feeling heat on his cheeks. He shut the door after himself, feeling warm and completely contented and that everything was going to be okay. He tried to recall a time when he had last felt this happy. For once, there were no major problems or secrets between any of them. Magnus was happy and healthy (and in Alec’s underwear, which he would definitely have to get him back for.) Everything was good. He walked into the living room, feeling all fuzzy and comforted. Of course, that was broken slightly and he opened the door to find Izzy hog-tying Jace, and Max hitting him with a pillow, but that was something more easily resolved.

***

The shops were just starting to close for the night by the time Clary recalled she’d forgotten to buy a new sketch pad. She bundled her bags into a reluctant Simon’s hands and he followed behind quickly, reminding her that he wanted to call Izzy and check up on her before she went to sleep.

“I’ll just be a minute.” Clary ran up the stairs quickly. The section she liked was on the second floor. After being out all day, Simon’s feet were hurting so he sat down on one of the benches, placing all the bags next to him. He stared out across the shop. It was quiet and no one else was around. He laughed to himself as he noticed the blocks of clay, stacked up at the end of one of the aisles.

\-------

_“How are you feeling?”_

_As he sat down, looking out across Miss Hiddleston’s classroom, Simon held his hands out in front of him. “Better now.” He turned to the side as a little girl with two red braids sat next to him. She had blue paint on one of her cheeks and a teddy in her arms. “Thank you for getting the nurse.”_

_“Why wouldn’t I!?” The little girl laughed as she scrubbed at her face. Her nose was covered in freckles._

_“Because I can see how much you enjoy art class. You didn’t have to, that’s all.” Simon looked down, smiling with a shy and goofy grin. There weren’t many girls in his new class who would laugh at something he said. He looked up as some of them ran around with brushes in their hands. “The other girls are all painting rainbows. Don’t you want to join in with them?_

_The little girl swung her feet. They didn’t quite reach the floor and she leaned down, pulling up her stripy socks. “No. They don’t like how I paint. It’s all colour and no heart.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_The little girl jumped up and held out her hand. Simon’s weren’t quite as pink as they had been from his reaction earlier and he took hers gently. She had a sweet manner about her as she swung their linked hands and yet she gave him a vibe that she could kick any of the guys’ butts if she needed to._

_“This is my easel!” She dropped the teddy on the floor and proudly tapped the top of it. It was a little further away from the other ones and had a taped up leg. It was very wonky and obviously not the first choice of the other students._

_This little girl was incredible. Simon smiled with stars in his eyes. She had found one of the most broken things in the room and showed that it was still capable, not only capable, but deserving of being loved._

_There were several dried paintings and a few drawings pinned up. Simon went to pick up the corner of one and the girl jumped to press the clip at the top, stopping it from snapping open._

_“These are amazing.” Simon flicked through them. The one on the top was still drying. His eyes skimmed over the cloud that the girl had painted. Under any other circumstances, he would have said that a cloud would have been sad but she had somehow made it look as if the sun was peeking through it. “Wowww.”_

_The girl looked down. “None of the other kids like my art.”_

_“I do.” The redhead looked up and her face lit up with a wide grin. As she did, the school bell sounded and cheers rang out across the class. The other children ran out, leaving Simon and the girl is silence. “I guess it’s time for recess.”_

_“I guess it is.” The girl rolled her sleeves down and picked up her teddy from the floor. As she went to walk out, Simon stood frozen as he watched her. “You coming?”_

_“Oh! Sure!” Simon rushed forward as the little girl held the door open. “Wait. I never got your name!” The girl laughed as he held his hand out to her. One of her front teeth were missing. “I’m Simon, by the way. Simon Lewis.”_

_She shook Simon’s hand, slightly tacky with the still drying paint. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Simon Lewis.” She laughed again. “My name’s Clary Fray and I have a feeling we’re going to be very good friends.”_

***

Clattering noises filled the kitchen as Jace and Alec managed to empty the cupboards. In front of them were various bowls and Jace laughed as he ate a handful of pretzels, pulling them from Alec’s reach. It had been a long time since they had all had game night together.

“How are you doing, Jace?” Alec spoke with his head down as he opened a bag of potato chips.

“Hmm?” Jace tilted his head with his mouth full.

“I was just thinking,” Alec looked down at his pyjamas and then to Jace’s matching ones. “We haven’t had a chance to chat in a little while.”

Jace swallowed what was in his mouth and picked up one of the bowls. He gestured to Alec and they both sat down at the kitchen table. “Oh, right. Yeah, I guess we haven’t. I’m doing good. Much better, actually. Things are good and I’m going out on a date with Clary tomorrow, which we haven’t done in a while. I’m looking forward to it.”

“That’s good.” Alec smiled. “That’s what you want to remember on the bad days, you know? Everything works out eventually. Just takes time.”

“How’s Magnus doing?” Jace held out the bowl. “Is he looking forward to tomorrow?”

“I really think he is. Although I think it’s going to be hard hitting for him not to have his mom there. This is his first birthday since he found out about her, you know? I wouldn’t have said anything but I know he told you about it when you guys went to the gym together. It’s great that you get along.”

“Of course, we do. He’s really great.” Jace smiled while looking down. Sometimes he was still a little comfortable with expressing his feelings. “I’m so glad that you finally found some peace for yourself. You bring out the best in one another. Everyone can see it. And about tomorrow, we all just have to be there for him, don’t we? It’s what family does.”

Alec nodded, patting Jace’s shoulder. He seemed to remember something and got up from his chair. Jace watched silently as Alec sorted out his medication for the night.

“Alec, wait.” Jace walked over to the cupboard and pulled a solid blue box out. Now that it was common knowledge, there was no point in hiding it up in his room. Alec filled up two glasses of water, relieved that Jace was remembering to take care of himself. Jace walked over with his head down, looking at the box as he pulled off the lid.

Alec walked over and Jace looked up as his brother spoke. “What the hell is that?”

***

Lily coughed as she pushed up the panel that led up to the attic. The steps had taken a while to pull down without Asmodeus there but she’d found her own way of climbing and standing on things over the years to get what she wanted.

She made her way up slowly, brushing off her trousers as she stood up. There was a light on the ceiling and it flickered for a few seconds before turning on.

Lily’s eyes immediately settled on the large silver box. She knew Magnus had wanted one for ages and it was also a favour for Asmodeus in part. A makeup box that unfolded when opened. Enough room to stop Magnus leaving all his stuff around the house. She'd had to put it in the attic because he was like a bloodhound when it came to gifts. She'd needed to find many new spots over the years but Magnus hadn't found out about this one yet. She didn't blame him but he was always ecstatic about gift giving. 

She pulled the box forward and placed her hand on the top. She’d held her head up high as she had thrown her handbag on the counter of the makeup store, asking for something that an eighteen year old boy would like. The girl behind the till had immediately lighten up and asked if Lily knew Magnus.

That was a story and a half.

As the light moved, Lily’s eyes caught on a box that was half hidden under a tarp. She pulled it forward and blew  on the top to disperse the dust, coughing and immediately regretting it as she waved her hand. 

She laughed softly to herself as she reached in and pulled something out.

Her old ballet shoes.

\-------

_Lily laughed as she turned and leaped through the room. Each graceful movement of her hands in time to the music. Her body moved like water as she lost herself in the gentle tune, spinning on the point until the music drifted off slowly. When it did, she was curled up with her arms over her head._

_"That was very impressive."_

_Lily's head snapped around as she blinked across the room. The only source of light was over her so she couldn’t see anyone. She liked to come to the studio later in the day when no one else was around, so she could get out of the house for a bit and pick her son up from his judo practice later on._

_"Who's there?" Lily's voice echoed from where she sat on the floor. As she held her hand over her eyes, a figure stepped into the room._

_"I didn't mean to frighten you." The voice was smooth and gentle as the woman walked forward. At first, all Lily registered was a dash of black hair, hastily tied up in a bun. It was then followed by a dazzling smile, belonging to a woman that radiated kindness and life. "I just joined. I- I don't mean to intrude or anything. I didn't actually expect anyone to be here."_

_"Of course not." Lily grinned up as the woman walked towards her. A pair of pointe ballet shoes hung from one hand and she had a pair of tap ones in the other. "I'm Lily."_

_"Aminah." The woman laughed gently as she sat down and crossed the ribbons of her shoes over. "Me and my boyfriend are renting an apartment nearby. He likes to lose himself in his decorating so I thought I'd come here for a few hours. Have you been dancing long?"_

_Lily smiled. The conversation flowed easily between them. "A few years. I was a bit of a late starter. My husband likes peace when he comes home from work and there's not much room to dance there anyway so I come here."_

_"That's good." Aminah beamed as she stood up. She leapt across the room, spinning once and then again to test her shoes before as she pressed the button on the speaker. Upbeat music started playing, humming with soft undertones of violin. "Do you know the butterfly routine?"_

_"I do." Lily stood up, brushing off the light skirt that was tied around her leotard. Aminah walked back over and they moved gracefully together. The routine was much better adapted to two and they ebbed and flowed around one another, hitting every point until the music ended._

_Lily recalled later that day that she'd never met anyone she could gain a connection with quite like Aminah. After their dance practice ended, they visited the small cafe together and talked about their lives and all they had been through recently. Aminah invited Lily back to her small apartment for a drink and as Lily shook the hand of Aminah's boyfriend, him introducing himself, she knew that she had found two friends for life._

***

“More! More!” Max giggled as Izzy walked around with him on her feet.

“Max! You’re getting too big for this.” Max refused to let go of her waist and she looked up as Jace came in to the room. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine-” Jace hesitated. “Can I borrow Max a second?”

“I thought Max could stay with me if you have things that need to be done.”

Jace shook his head, insistent as he held out his hand. Max jumped up excitedly and ran over to Jace. He gestured for Max to go through the door first and followed behind until they were in the kitchen. 

“Okay, Max.” Jace looked at Alec who was sat silently at the table. Max took the chair opposite the two of them. “Do you mind telling me what this is about?” Jace slid his pill container across the table and Max’s eyes widened, looking between Jace and Alec. Alec slid the box back and held it up to look underneath. Each compartment had a red jelly bean in it. “You know you’re absolutely not supposed to touch any of our medication unless someone says it’s okay. Did you push a chair over?”

Max looked from Jace to Alec. “Am I in trouble? Will you tell Mom?”

Alec cleared his throat and spoke softly. “You’re not in trouble and we won’t tell Mom. Or Dad. We just want to know why.”

Max watched Jace open the door for that evening. He tipped out the jellybean and his tablet on to the table. “Mom and Dad said your medication stops you feeling sad.” Jace glanced up. He had asked Robert and Maryse to explain it gently to Max so that he didn’t have to. They had agreed on no more secrets. “Red jelly beans stop me feeling sad.” Max pouted as he glanced up. “I thought if I would put one in each of your little boxes, maybe they’ll make you better quicker.” Alec and Jace glanced at each other and got up, walking around the table. “Are you guys mad? Am I in-” Max was stopped as Jace grabbed him and hugged him tightly. Jace clung on to him, tighter than he ever had before, and they were quickly joined by Alec. Max’s innocence had always been a joking point amongst his siblings but in that moment, Max’s little gesture had brought his older brothers to tears. They all stood together and Jace told Max how much they loved him, the three brothers all together as one.

***

Clary and Simon dragged their bags through Clary’s living room door, crashing on the couch as they did so.

“You want to watch a movie?” Simon picked his head up from where he lay sideways with his feet on Clary’s lap. The TV remote was on the other couch, in sight of them both.

“Sure.” Clary spoke halfheartedly. They remained in silence for a minute, until Clary rolled her head over, half on the sofa with her feet on the floor. “Are you going- to get the remote?”

Simon looked at the remote and then to Clary. “No.”

They both laughed softly, neither bothering to get up. They both yawned as Clary slid to the floor. She mumbled quietly as Simon kicked his shoes off.

“Hmm?”

“What is thisss?” Clary reached into one of Simon’s bags, and he fought to grab the small blanket from her hands. There was a little bear on the corner of it, clutching a ring. Her eyes teared up as she turned around, still holding it gently. “Simon…”

“I know, it’s too early yet. I just thought-”

“Si, it’s okay. “ Clary laughed, passing him the soft comfort toy. “It’s really sweet.”

“I thought I might just get a few things and store them away for now. Just little bits and pieces.”

“Simon.” Clary pouted, brushing his cheek. “You’re really excited about all this, aren’t you?”

Simon pouted back, clutching the little white blanket to his chest. “I am.”

\-------

_“Simon!” Clary laughed. “You’re hogging the duvet!”_

_“Am not!” Simon tugged the corner back, staring up at the glow in the dark stars that littered his bedroom wall. “Clary?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“How many stars do you think are in the sky?”_

_Clary looked up. “There’s got to be at least seven.”_

_“You’re not wrong.” Simon shook his head. “Our teacher said that when we start second grade, they’ll teach us about the different planets.”_

_“That’s cool,” Clary yawned._

_“Do you think the stars are far away?”_

_“Totally.”_

_“How far do you think-”_

_“Simon! We’re supposed to be sleeping. Luke will tell us off.”_

_Simon kicked his leg up, knocking the blanket flying onto the floor as he clenched his hands into fists. “I think I could take him.”_

_Clary snorted as she rolled on her belly to pick the blanket up, throwing it back over them both. “Maybe you could but we still need sleep. No more questions.” Clary laid back down and closed her eyes but she could still feel Simon staring at her through the darkness._

_“I just have one more I want to ask.”_

_“Ughh, okay then! What is it?”_

_Simon smiled, staring at the ceiling as he held the blanket in his hands. “Clary? Do you want to be best friends with me?”_

_Clary reached over the blanket, resting her hand on top of Simon’s. It was hard to see him but of what she could make out, he looked a little worried. “Simon,” she giggled. “That’s one question that you don’t need to ask me.”_

***

"That's it. Set the mat down over there." Alec pointed, directing his youngest brother to put the game mat down on the floor. 

"Hey, Alec?" Max spoke happily. "Do you remember when we played this and Jace fell on his butt?"

Alec cackled as Jace walked past him, carrying the last of their snacks. "That was so unfair. Izzy had to put her hand on the blue circle and she knocked my foot out from underneath me." Jace set the last bowl down and Max rushed to grab a handful of chocolate buttons. "Not too many of those, Max. You have school tomorrow and Mom and Dad will kill us if you're hyper all night."

Max's face froze as he raced for the bowl again, too quick for Jace to catch him. He tilted his head back, his cheeks full of chocolate, and he tried not to laugh as Jace threw him up in that air. 

"Be careful!" Izzy shouted as she walked in and threw her phone onto the couch. Max had swallowed what was in his mouth and was laughing hysterically as Jace hung him up by his ankles, his shirt falling down to his cheeks. Jace shook him up and down, making Max screech as he told him to give him his chocolate buttons back.

As Max started to get dizzy, Jace pouted and set him down on the sofa. Alec had found the spinner for the game and was looking at the edge that had peeled away. The game was actually older than Max and had gotten more fun as more siblings that had joined him over the years.

"Are we sure Izzy should be playing?"

Jace pulled off his sneakers as Izzy crossed her arms. "Why the hell shouldn't I?" Jace gestured delicately as he joked, imitating a baby bump with his bottom lip pouted. Izzy laughed as she shoved him and he fell back onto the sofa. "Jace, I’m carrying a baby, not a bomb!"

Alec laughed softly and shook his head, his back to his siblings. "Can we start already?"

There was a series of soft thuds and Alec turned around. Izzy was whacking Jace with one of the couch cushions, taking advantage of the fact that he didn't want to hit her back. Max piled on top as they all laughed. Alec had missed this. Although one my doubt the sentimentality in them all wailing on one another, it was how they had always been. So, glad that he was there and healthy enough to join in, the game stood waiting as Alec threw Izzy up into the air and held her tightly so Jace could get her back. 

***

Lily topped up her glass of wine as she sat at the table. The radio was on in the corner and she grumbled as she fought with a roll of tape. Magnus' makeup box was placed on a sheet of sparkly wrapping paper and she smiled happily to herself, taking another sip and setting her glass down again. She folded up the paper, wrapping it efficiently and inspecting her work. She loved wrapping gifts. Loved the order of it.

As she stuck a large bow on the top, she nodded in satisfaction to herself, picking up the glass again. She held the glass up in front of her, holding it out as she lifted her head and turned it against the light.

\-------

_"And I told you it's not fair on me! You never listen!"_

_"Not fair on you?! You're never even home! Then, when you are, you don't even want to be around me!" Lily wiped her eyes as she stood in her kitchen, arguing back with her husband. "I- I can't keep doing this to myself."_

_"What about our boy?!"_

_"What about him?! Think of why he spends so much time out. You think he wants to be around-" Lily's phone buzzed on the table and she picked it up._

_"Oh, great! We can't solve our problems if you storm out, can we?!"_

_Lily grumbled under her breath as she walked out of the room, purposely closing the door between them. They'd been arguing for an hour straight and she needed a break. She went outside, sitting down on the steps that led down to the garden._

_Lily rubbed her eye. "Hey, sweetie. It's late. Is everything okay?!"_

_Aminah giggled on the other end of the line. "You-" she laughed again. "You have to pick me up." There was murmuring in the background._

_"Aminah, are you drunk?!" Lily laughed with her hand on her face._

_"I have drunk."_

_"No, the question was- never mind. Where are you? Are you on your own?"_

_"You have to pick me and my husband up because- because we're not driving."_

_"Aminah, you are off your head. You don't have a husband. You have a boyfriend, remember?"_

_"Hey, Lils?" Asmodeus grabbed the phone. His speech was more slurred than Aminah's. "Can you-- can you get us?!"_

_“As! You too?! What the hell have the two of you been- Actually, never mind. Tell you what; text me where you are. I’m coming to get you.”_

_Lily must have driven for around forty minutes by the time she found the right spot. She was glad to be out of the house for a while and had expected to find her two best friends in some sort of mess but what she hadn’t expected was to be pulled up in a town hall car park, watching as Asmodeus ran towards her, laughing like a maniac with Aminah in his arms._

_“You two have had a busy night!” Lily pushed her door open as the young couple reached her. Aminah was in a white, knee length dress and it took Lily a moment to register what was going on. “You haven’t?!”_

_Asmodeus and Lily grinned at each other and held up their hands, flashing their silver rings._

_Lily put her hands over her mouth as her eyes teared up. Aminah had casually brought up the subject of marriage while they were at the dance studio a few days before but she definitely hadn’t seen this coming. Asmodeus and Lily clung on to one another, slightly unsteady on their feet as they kissed softly. Lily stood up and rushed to hug them both as droplets finally spilled down her cheeks. It didn’t matter how it had happened or even if they wouldn’t remember a lot of this tomorrow. They were one now and that was all they had ever wanted._

***

Magnus was on the sofa with Honey, watching TV in his pyjamas, by the time Asmodeus came in, shaking the rain off his coat as he put it over the hook on the back of the door. Honey jumped off the sofa.

"Hey." Magnus leaned his head back as Asmodeus walked behind the sofa and started doing something in the kitchen. "Everything okay? I got in late and I expected you to be home."

Asmodeus spoke as he leaned down to pet Honey. "I had some errands to do and it took me a while to get there. Speaking of, don't ask why but you're not allowed out front until tomorrow, so no sneaking out for late night rendezvous with your boyfriend." Asmodeus picked up a container of pasta from the counter top. "You made dinner?"

Magnus continued watching the TV with his back to him. "Yeah, I already ate mine. Yours is on the side."

"Thanks." Asmodeus hesitated as he faced away from the living area. "Did Alec give you the-" He was cut off as Magnus dashed over and hugged him tightly, clinging into his shirt.

"I love you, Father. I love you so much."

Asmodeus chuckled quietly with his hands held up. He turned around and wrapped them around Magnus', holding him tight as Magnus smiled with his head against his shoulder.

"I love you, too, Son." Asmodeus sighed. "Listen, I should have told you sooner about her, Magnus, but I was so afraid of hurting you. It’s not fair. The little pieces I have of her and I should have shared them with you." Magnus shook his head and broke away, gesturing to the table so they could sit and talk. They needed this if they were going to get through the next day together.

The microwave beeped and Asmodeus silently wiped his eye as he plated up his food.

"What was she like? Mama?" Magnus pouted with tears in his eyes, finally acknowledging that it was okay to talk about her with his father. It was healthy.

"Oh, she was beautiful." Asmodeus picked up his fork. "She turned heads wherever she went. But it was more than that. She glowed, Magnus. Like you wouldn't believe. God, the warmth in her touch, Magnus. How she'd blush and smile. How she'd curl her lip when she was concentrating-" He sighed. "I've never met anyone quite like her. Someone so full of light and itching for adventure. Except for you, maybe. But you definitely got that from her."

"Do you have a photograph of her?" Magnus asked sadly. Honey was resting her head on his knee. "I imagine her in my head sometimes but it would be nice to see her."

Asmodeus shook his head as he swallowed a mouthful of pasta. "Not any good ones. I know we did have one once but I can never find it. It was from one of her dance productions. My God, Magnus you should have seen her. She was breathtaking in that white tutu." He ate another forkful before speaking again. “She didn’t really believe in having photos as memories. I asked her why once and she just said that there was a beauty in things that were fleeting. I really wish I had one now.”

Magnus looked up at his father, watching as he rambled obliviously. He didn't look the same as when they had last talked properly. He didn't seem to be hurting so badly. It was a long road and Magnus could see the pain he had been going through but maybe now that he knew about Aminah himself and that Lily was also helping them through it, maybe she could be a more casual topic. Something celebrated instead of something mourned.

“Listen, Magnus. I wanted to talk to you about Lily since she comes into all of this.”

“I know you guys are together.”

“You do?”

Magnus nodded as he smiled. “Yeah. I’m happy for you. It might take a while to get used to but nothing’s going to change from how it’s always been. I just want the two of you to be happy.”

“Thank you, Magnus. I’m glad you understand. Lily might want to talk to you about it separately. She just wants you to know that she’s not trying to be your mother in any way, you know? And while Lily knows, I also want you to know that I still love your mother. You know better than anyone that separation will never change that.” Magnus nodded. All he wanted was to know that his father was happy with his choices. He seemed to be. “Come upstairs a minute.” Asmodeus stood, pointing to the staircase. “There’s something I want to show you.”

They walked up together in silence and Asmodeus gestured to his open bedroom. Honey lay down on the floor, licking her paws as Magnus sat on the bed, waiting while Asmodeus looked in the wardrobe behind him.

“This-” Asmodeus walked over, carrying something covered on a hanger. “Was what your mom wore when we got married.” He set the dress down and Magnus beamed as he zipped the front open.

“It’s lovely but not what I expected.”

“That’s why I wanted to show you.” Asmodeus sat down. “It’s not really a wedding dress at all. Just something white that your mom happened to have. We were downstairs one night-” Magnus looked down and back up. He’d never stopped to think that the area where he ate dinner, or lived his general life, was the same ground that his mother had walked on. “We were downstairs and- I don’t know, I think I said something daft that made your mother laugh.” He glanced up. “She was tying up her hair messily and she smiled as she turned around to the stereo playing. I just took one look at her and knew I didn’t want to spend a night from her ever again. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how things happen. Sometimes, things mean more to you in those crazy moments when you're with the person who love."

“That’s sweet.”

“I’d had a family ring for a while. It was a beautiful one. One of the only things I’d bought with me when we had left everything else behind. A silver band with a square diamond cut into the front. As she came back into the kitchen, she was still dancing to the music. I’d never been one for it but when her face lit up, she offered her hand out to me. As she clasped her hand to mine, she felt the ring between our hands. She pulled her hand away to look and by the time she registered what was happening, I was already on my knee.”

Magnus wiped under his eye. He was finally getting a piece of her that he’d always wanted. He could almost imagine what she looked like, dancing in their kitchen downstairs.

“What happened after was a bit more of a mess. She called me crazy for wanting to get married that night and I told her there was nothing crazy about it.” Asmodeus looked down, trying to stay positive. “I said that I wanted to spend my life with her.”

“Father,” Magnus put his hand on Asmodeus’ shoulder. Asmodeus gritted his teeth slightly, fighting to find some humour to keep himself together.

“After the initial shock of it, your mom could see how serious I was. It was a good drive to the nearest jewellery store but we bought a ring for myself. She was happy with the ring I had given her so we went to the nearest town hall, signed the papers-” He laughed. “-got roaringly drunk and ended up having to call Lily to come and get us.” Magnus laughed. He’d never really seen his dad drunk before. It was a strange thought. Asmodeus turned to his son, feeling lighter than he had in a long, long time. “My ring is in the draw with her locket. I’m not sure what happened to hers. It could have gotten lost during a stay in hospital, and I regret not knowing where it is, but I suppose that’s just how things work sometimes. I wish you’d gotten to know her, Magnus. I wish it all the time. I know it doesn’t change anything but every day since she found out she was carrying you, and for the six weeks she got to hold you, she loved you with everything that she had.”

***

Alec yawned, climbing under the covers on the wrong side. He inhaled Magnus’ scent as he lay on his side, pulling out his phone from under the pillow. The house was silent finally, Jace the last to go to sleep. Alec had tucked Max in and checked up on Izzy, making sure they didn’t go to sleep hungry or in want of anything.

Alec tapped at his phone, a square of light lighting up the room and making him squint until his eyes adjusted.

“Hey.” Alec yawned again. “Did I wake you up?”

“Not at all.” Magnus rubbed his eyes on the screen. “I was just getting into bed. Everything okay?”

Alec grinned shyly with his cheek on the pillow, glancing to the time on the corner of the screen. A moment later, the minute passed over, turning to midnight. “Happy birthday, Magnus. I love you so much.”

***

Robert turned off the ignition as him and Maryse stared at the house. The street was quiet, pitch black bar the various street lamps. There were trash cans on the pavement and Robert laughed to himself, not surprised that the one chore he'd given the children that night was taking theirs out to the curb and it had somehow gone amiss. 

"I really enjoyed tonight." Maryse smiled across at him. "But I miss the kids. The lights are off, so they must have all gone to sleep." 

"Me too but we’ll see them in the morning." Robert nodded back at her. "It makes you think. It won't be long before they start flying the nest. Getting jobs. Then we'll officially be old."

"Not just yet." Maryse turned to him. "I'm not ready to let them go."

\-------

_"Robert, I can't do this." Robert chuckled softly as Maryse wiped her eyes. He was trying to take a picture of his son and daughter for Izzy's first day of school but every time Maryse sniffed, both of them looked behind him to their mother, staring with big and innocent eyes. "They're too little. Can't we just keep them at home for one more year?"_

_"Maryse-" Robert put his arm around her and kissed her head. "They're going to be late, okay? It's time to let them go."_

_The classroom door opened and the children started lining up. Maryse had been the same when Alec had started and now having Izzy there was just bringing everything back._

_"I know." Maryse gestured Izzy closer and leaned down, tightening the hair tie at the bottom of one of her braids. She kissed Izzy's forehead and Alec stood silently as they held hands, excited but nervous about starting a new year at school. His hair was slicked back neatly, even though he had resisted, and Robert patted his shoulder softly as Maryse stood._

_"Right, you two," he grumbled. "You better get going."_

_Maryse and Robert hugged their two children tightly and for what seemed like only moments later, the young boy and girl were running off into their new life._

_They walked back to the car slowly, walking hand in hand. While Maryse had worked from home since her pregnancy with Izzy, it would be strange going back to a quiet house while Robert worked._

_"Hey," he whispered softly as they reached the car. "Wait here."_

_Maryse watched and laughed as Robert came back with a bunch of flowers. "Where did you get these?" She grinned as she brought them to her nose._

***

Monday: 

“Hey, Iz. Can I come in?” Alec stuck his head into Izzy’s room. She was sitting in the early light of the window, brushing her hair back for school.

“Sure. You okay?”

“I am.” Alec sat down on the bed. It was odd that all of his siblings were in their uniforms and he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with himself. “Senior yeah, huh? You excited?”

“I guess so.” Izzy stuck her tongue out, sliding a hair grip into her hair as she looked in the mirror. “I think it’s going to be a busy one.” Izzy stood up as Alec walked up behind her. She turned sideways as she looked at her middle and smoothed down her shirt. “It’s a bit frightening.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Izzy turned and Alec put his hands on her shoulders. “Iz, when I went back to school, it was difficult because of the attention I had to face-”

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?!”

“Just listen.” Alec smiled. “I know I didn’t stay, but that was only because of how tired it made me. That and because I realised I needed to do what made me happy. Without you and Jace there, I wouldn’t have even gotten through that half day. I guess, what I want to say is that it doesn’t matter what anyone says to you today. Something incredible is happening to you right now, Iz. Something beautiful. It might be tough for a while but remember that what anyone says doesn’t define you. You’re still an amazing little sister and whatever happens today, please know that when you come home, you’ll have your big brother here waiting for you, okay? You’ve got an amazing future ahead of you and everyday, you’re making all of us so proud.”

Izzy hugged Alec tightly as he curled his arms around her neck, kissing the top of her head. Her hands rested on his back as she sniffed, trying not to mess her makeup. She’d been so nervous but Alec was right. Today might end up being difficult, teens were cruel sometimes and quick to judge, but Alec had made her realise something. She could walk into those gates with her head up. She’d have Jace, Clary, Simon; even little Max alongside her. Plus everyone at home. She had an amazing family to look out for her and she definitely wasn't on her own.

***

Lily sipped at her coffee, placing it back in the cupholder of her car. She was only minutes away from Asmodeus’ house now and she smiled quietly to herself when she realised that she was already missing him. Some part of her had been wondering lately about what could be between them and now it had actually happened, it was a little hard to believe.

She rolled her window down from where she was parked and the drive through worker walked towards her. She handed Lily a brown bag and she took it gratefully, looking inside. The woman walked away and Lily pulled one of them out.

Lemon cake. Magnus’ favourite.

\-------

_“No, the steps go: one, two, one, three, four. Why aren’t we getting this right?” Lily turned around, lowering her shoulders at Aminah who was sitting on the floor. “Aminah!”_

_“Whaatt?” Aminah laughed._

_“We’ve barely even warmed up and you look like you need a nap!”_

_“Oh, that’s so rude!” Aminah cackled as Lily pulled at her arm. “Okay, if we go over this one more time, can we pleaseee go to the cafe and get the lemon cake they do? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I walked past and smelled it this morning.”_

_Lily turned the speaker on and walked back across the room, hopping on the last three beats as the routine started. “I thought-” she spun on the spot once. “I thought you hated lemon cake?”_

_“I did too-” Aminah leaped into the air, moving around Lily as she went up on her toes. “But I haven’t been able to get enough of it lately.”_

_“Hmm.” Lily moved her arms effortlessly as the music picked up._

_“I think I’m coming down with something.”_

_They both looked at each other and skipped down the room as they turned, leaping into the air. Lily landed gracefully as the music continued and spun once. When she turned around and opened her eyes, Aminah was on the floor. “Aminah! Are you okay?!”_

_Aminah laughed as Lily tried to pull her up. “I don’t know why I can’t do it. My balance is all off.”_

_“Aminah..? “ Lily gritted her teeth. “Is there any chance you might be pregnant?”_

_Aminah shook her head. “Absolutely not.”_

_***_

_It was only later that evening when Lily’s mobile rang on the table. She picked it up, holding it under her ear. “Hey, sweetie.”_

_“Lily, I’ve got a problem.”_

_“Okay, who do I need to kill? Is it As? I might be smaller than him but that just means I know where to punch.”_

_“It might be.”_

_“Okay, put him on the phone.”_

_“No," Aminah spoke softly. "No, I need to talk to you first. Then you’re coming over.”_

_“Aminah, it’s a school night tomorrow. Is it really that important?”_

_“I think it is." Aminah hesitated. "I’m not going to be able to do our summer showcase."_

_"Aminah, you can't drop out now. We'll practice, okay? There's absolutely no reason why-"_

_"No, Lils, Lils. I can't do it. There's no way."_

_Lily put her finger on her temple. "Why not, Aminah?!"_

_Aminah shouted back as she looked at the stick in her hand. "Because I won't be able to fit in my dress!"_

_***_

"Mommy! Daddy!" Max sprinted into the kitchen and jumped up at both his parents. "We spent the whole evening playing games and- and eating snacks. And we made a fort in the living room! I hit Jace with a pillow but he ducked and knocked over one of the picture frames but don't worry! We're going to replace it before anyone notices!"

Everyone turned their heads as Jace walked into the kitchen with a dustpan in his hands. "Thanks, Max." He skirted around his laughing parents, holding the dustpan behind his back. "It's sorted. Don't worry. Although I'm sure Izzy was close enough that she could have caught it.

"Hey!" Izzy shouted with a smile on her face as she finished her food. "Be nice or me and Clary will walk home without you tonight."

Jace started piling a bowl with fruit as his parents watched in wonder. Izzy grinned to herself. One week spent with Jace and Magnus had managed to achieve something that their parents had been battling over him with for the last fifteen years.

"I'm so glad you're home." Jace spoke as he reached across the table with a fork. He picked up a pancake and took a bite. "I like Alec's cooking but it's still not as good as Mom's."

Maryse shrugged at Robert as he spoke, picking up his own pancake. "Can't argue with that."

"Morning," Alec yawned as he strolled into the kitchen with his hair messy and hugged Maryse around the neck. It would have looked endearing to anyone around the table but she sniggered to herself when Alec whispered, joking as he begged her not to leave him in charge again.

Alec yawned again before sitting down, stretching his arms above his head.

Robert mumbled. "You still tired, Alec?"

Izzy held up her hand. "He was up late on his phone last night." She stabbed a strawberry. "Wonder who with."

"Yeah," Jace snorted. "At least it's more tame than the way they usually keep each other up." There was a bump under the table as Alec kicked Jace in the leg. “Mom! Tell him not to do that!”

\-------

_Robert rolled over restlessly from where he lay in his bed. The house was silent but he still couldn’t sleep. The branches outside were hitting against the window, making him jolt every time the wind blew. “Maryse? Psst. Maryse, are you awake? I can’t sleep.”_

_Maryse sighed. “Me either.”_

_Robert rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp. He lifted his arm and Maryse moved to lie against him, her arm over his middle. Robert kissed the top of her head. “I miss them, Maryse. So much.”_

_“So do I. I keep going to ring and the phone just goes to voicemail. It’s not fair.”_

_“It isn’t-” Both of their heads picked up and they went silent as the door creaked. “Iz,” Robert groaned. “No more late night makeovers. You have school tomorrow and Daddy keeps finding glitter in- Oh. Hi, Jace. You want to come up?” Robert tapped the bed gently and a flash of blond hair moved around the edge. It took him a second to climb up, throwing his teddy and his blanket up before he jumped, grabbing the duvet in his hands to pull himself up with a bit of effort._

_Jace crawled up the bed on his knees, pulling his little blanket in one hand and the teddy in the other. He crawled between the two of them, climbing under the covers. The wind howled outside the window as Maryse reached across to Robert. Jace was so little that they had to hold on to one another’s arms._

_“Are you okay, Jace?” Maryse brushed Jace’s golden locks back. “Did you want to talk with us?” Jace jumped as lightning flashed outside. “Was it the storm? Did it scare you?”_

_Jace nodded as Robert snuggled him in. They’d been trying to settle him in for nearly two months now and while Izzy and Alec were desperately trying to make friends with him, Jace had been very clingy and preferred to spend time with Maryse and Robert instead._

_They remained in silence for a while, waiting to see if Jace would speak. Robert met Maryse’s eyes over Jace’s head and she shook her own. He hadn’t wanted to come in there to talk, or maybe he had and had changed his mind, but she knew what he actually wanted now. He just wanted to be held. And he wanted to sleep._

_Jace picked his head up, rolling his head around to Maryse and then to Robert as he blinked. He’d been having nightmares and had spent the previous two nights screaming the place down. He was exhausted._

_“Was there something you wanted to ask, Jace?” Robert mumbled quietly. They had expected Jace to have a lot of questions, now that he’d been there a while and he had started to get used to his new routine, but he hadn’t said a single word since he had joined their family, nodding or pointing to what he wanted and taking things in stony silence. ‘Post-traumatic mutism’, the social worker had called it. There was no physical cause for his silence. He’d been extensively tested and scanned after he’d been plucked from the car wreckage, and by some act of God, he had received no physical injuries, bar a few scrapes and cuts. The emotional impact, however, they were told could be much more long lasting, maybe not even surfacing until years and years later. They had been told it would take a long time for him to get over, but the only reason for his mutism was that his mind was using it as a coping mechanism._

_Maryse spoke softly. “What is it, sweetie? What do you want to ask us?” Jace had been showing signs of wanting to talk over the past few days, opening his mouth and closing it again before going back to playing with a toy. She knew that they couldn’t push him, he would talk when he was ready, but something was just shouting at her that with a little prompting, maybe they’d get a word out of him._

_Jace looked to them both again, wobbling his bottom lip. He reached down the blanket, placing a miniature hand on each of theirs. Maryse let out a shaky breath and Robert beamed proudly at her._

_“Can I call you Mom and Dad?”_

***

Asmodeus strolled across the living area, cupping a mug of coffee in his hands. He blew on the top of it as he paced, glancing at the clock up on the wall. He didn’t like to wake Magnus up early, even on his birthday. While Magnus was an early riser, his epilepsy was disturbed by poor sleeping patterns, so if he’d been up late, Asmodeus liked to let him sleep in.

There was a knock at the door and Asmodeus moved towards it, setting his cup down on the table. He glanced through the frosted glass and his face lit up as he went to pull the catch across.

“Hey, I didn’t expect you to be here until-” Asmodeus was cut off as Lily’s mouth pressed against his own.

“Sorry,” she laughed as she broke away. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” Asmodeus tilted Lily’s chin up as he smiled. There was a large balloon in her hand and she set it down, knowing the weight on the floor, next to Magnus’ present, would stop it flying away. She wrapped her arms around Asmodeus’ neck as he gripped her waist, kissing her softly before rubbing their noses together. She bit her lip, looking up at him with her eyes shining.

Asmodeus gestured to the large box on the floor and she picked it up. He took Lily’s hand, picking up the balloon in the other before he led her inside.

“Is Magnus up?” Lily set the gift down on the table.

“Not yet.” Asmodeus picked up his coffee again and took a big sip. “He was on the phone with Alec all night. You thought they were bad enough together, you do not want to hear how much Magnus giggles when he’s on the phone.” Lily snorted, pulling her handbag over her head. She reached in, pulling out the brown bag, and pushed it across to Asmodeus’. “What’s this?”

“Just some cakes. Have you given Magnus the key yet? Aminah really thought of everything, didn’t she?”

Asmodeus took a bite of his muffin, shaking his head. “Not yet. I know she wanted to be as involved as she could be but- it hurts. It feels like today is her last involvement.”

“Hey, that’s not true.” Lily spoke sternly as she reached across, placing her hand over Asmodeus’. “You know how stubborn she could be when she wanted something. Think about how much it must have given her to know she would still get to be a part of everything.”

\-------

_Aminah wobbled slightly as she walked into the spare room with her hand on her bump. She was wearing dungarees and there was a scarf wrapped around her head in the same colour._

_“As! I want to help you!”_

_Asmodeus looked up from the floor with light blue paint on his face. He set his brush down and sat back down with a sigh. “You are helping! I just don’t need a lot of help with this. You talked about wanting to knit jumpers for him so I thought if you stayed in bed, then you could-”_

_“No!” Aminah shouted, making him wince. “Listen to me! He’s- he’s my baby as much as yours! It’s- it- it’s not fair! This could- this-” Aminah paused, thinking about what she wanted to say. “As, this- this could be the only part- part of him- this-” Aminah growled in frustration and put her hand over her mouth. Asmodeus rushed over to hug her and held her as tightly as he could. Her emotions had been all over the place lately, between baby hormones and having to acknowledge the diagnosis that he refused to think about for now. They were trying to make it a happy time but it was so difficult._

_“Minah. Baby. Get some rest, okay?”_

_“No, give me- give me a brush. I don’t need sleep. I want to help.” Aminah pushed him back and tried to defiantly chuck herself down on the floor. When she was about halfway, she realised it was difficult with seven months worth of baby bump. Asmodeus laughed softly, helping her to sit down on the floor. “Okay. Okay, baby. Here.”_

_Aminah smiled as he passed her the brush and carried the tin over. He sat down next to her, taking one for himself as he watched her elegantly glide the brush up and down the wall. “As, we haven’t even bought diapers yet. They said he’s going to be tiny, now that he’s coming early, so what about the clothes we bought? Will they fit him?”_

_“We’ve got time, okay-”_

_“We don’t, As. I want everything- everything done. I don’t want you running out to buy things once he gets here. I want it all to be ready.”_

_Asmodeus leaned over to her, kissing the top of her head. “It will be, okay?” He went back to brushing the wall._

_Aminah turned her head. “There is one thing we haven’t decided on though.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_She dipped her brush back in the paint, sitting in the golden light from the window. “What are we going to call him?”_

***

Maryse and Robert were sipping coffee at the table when Alec came dashing in, pulling a hoodie over his head. They’d just waved the other three off, watching them go as they chatted, Izzy and Jace each holding one of Max’s hands.

“You off somewhere?” Robert looked at Maryse and raised his eyebrows. Alec was rushing to take his medication as he spoke on the phone.

She nudged Robert’s leg with her foot. “I think Magnus is on his way. You going out somewhere, Alec?”

Alec mumbled as he took a bite out of an apple, switching the phone to his other ear. “Wait- here? Now? You’re outside my house?!”

Alec hung up and rushed out of the front door, Maryse and Robert following behind as they realised what it was about. They’d been planning this with Asmodeus for a while and had chipped in for something Magnus and Alec could enjoy together.

They looked up the street as Asmodeus pulled up the black car with Magnus in the passenger seat. It was nothing fancy. Just something to get them around.

As they stood on the driveway, Robert took Maryse’s hand.

Before Asmodeus had barely stopped the car, Magnus burst out, ran down the driveway, and leapt into Alec’s arms.

Asmodeus shut the car door and walked over, glancing behind Alec’s parents. Magnus had his legs around Alec’s waist as Alec mumbled “Happy birthday, baby,” against his mouth.

“Sorry about that,” Asmodeus laughed as Maryse and Robert had a look at the car. Alec had fallen back to sit on the grass and Magnus had fallen over him. “What do you think?”

“It’s great.” Robert spoke as Asmodeus opened the door to show him inside. “Exactly what we talked about.” He looked back reluctantly to the front lawn. Alec was on his back and Magnus was practically on top of him while their tongues met in quick strokes. Magnus’ hands were roaming under Alec’s shirt and Alec’s hands were running through Magnus’ hair. “They’re staying at yours tonight, right?”

Asmodeus chuckled. “Way ahead of you. Yes, they are. Me and Lily are going back to hers tonight to pick up a few of her things. I think they’ll be okay on their own in the house.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Maryse laughed. “They didn’t do a great job of cleaning pesto off my kitchen floor. Do you want to come in for a drink? They’ll come inside once they’ve cooled off a bit.” She looked back at Alec and Magnus. Although the neighbours would definitely be talking, she couldn’t really blame the two of them. They just wanted to be happy.

They just wanted to live. 

“I would but Lily wanted to go grocery shopping. She’ll be by any minute to pick me up.” Asmodeus held out a piece of paper in front of him, reading the address over and over and over again. “Magnus has somewhere he needs to go. It’s not that far away if you don’t mind Alec driving.”

***

“Mom texted. Alec and Magnus got the car. They’re going off on a trip somewhere. Who knows where though.”

“Oh that’s so great.” Izzy beamed as she swung Max’s arm. “It’s been hard keeping it a secret from them.”

“Hey, guys.” Max jumped in the air and giggled as his brother and sister swung him. “Guess what? I saw Alec singing yesterday. He’s really happy now, isn’t he?”

“He is.” Jace nodded, looking at the phone in his hand. “He’s come a hell of a long way in the past few years.”

“We all have,” Izzy pouted. “But you’re right. Him and Magnus just complete one another. You know, Alec just to be so at war with himself and who he was. It means so much that he found the guy he always dreamed about.”

Max giggled. “Magnus passed the test.”

\-------

_“Okay, what’s all this about?” Jace walked into the living room, throwing himself over the couch._

_“Not a clue.” Izzy turned off the TV. “Where’s Max? Mom and Dad never leave us all in the house without them so we better find him before they get home tonight.”_

_“I’m here!” Max ran in, a bag of sweets in his hand. He climbed up to sit with Jace and Jace stuck his hand in the bag._

_“Great.” Izzy spoke sarcastically. “Now you’ll both be hyper all night.”_

_“No, I won’t,” Jace grumbled with a mouth full of red jelly beans, as Max jumped up and down on his lap. “Okay, where the hell is Alec?”_

_“I’m here.” Alec walked in slowly and all of his siblings looked up. “There’s something I wanted to talk with you about.”_

_Jace gestured for Max to sit between him and Izzy on the sofa and Alec kicked over the footstool. ““Okayy. What’s up?”_

_“There’s- there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you-” Alec gripped the edge of the footstool, trying to disguise how much he was shaking._

_“Alec,” Izzy reached out and Alec reluctantly took her hands. “What is it? You can tell us anything.”_

_“I- I just wanted to talk with you before Mom and Dad got back. I’ve been thinking for a while. I- I wanted to be sure before I said anything.” Alec looked up at the three of them. “Guys-” He breathed out deeply. “I’m gay.”_

_Izzy glanced at Jace and Alec’s heart jumped in his throat. Was it a bad idea to tell them that? Would they think differently of him? Would they be confused- Alec’s mind stopped spinning as Izzy hugged him tightly. He gripped her with everything he had, sobbing against her shoulder; so relieved that they finally knew who he was._

_“Hey, you’re okay. We’re so proud of you, Alec.” Izzy bumped their heads together. “We love you, okay?” Izzy let him go slightly, as Alec rubbed tears from his eyes, the relief already evident on his face._

_Jace stood up and Alec did the same, clashing together as they clutched the back of each other’s heads. “Iz is right. We just want you to be happy.”_

_Jace and Alec both wiped at their faces as Max ran between them. “Guys, when Alec get’s a boyfriend-”_

_“Woah, Max!” Alec laughed as Izzy handed him a tissue. “Slow down, okay-”_

_“No, I’m just saying-” Jace lifted Max up and Max puts his arms around Alec’s neck. “When you get a boyfriend, he’s got to get through all of us first, okay?”_

***

"Well, off he goes." Asmodeus shut the door of Lily's car. "I wonder what she wrote to him."

Lily took his hand. "I guess it's just up to Magnus to decide what he does now. All Aminah would have wanted was to see him happy. That's all she wanted for either of you."

"I suppose you're right. Maybe Magnus will get some answers today. He's becoming more curious. It's actually nice to see."

"And you gave him the answers he wanted?"

"I like to think I did. I told him about the night me and Minah got married." Lily laughed softly. She probably remembered more of that night than As did, considering. "I just wish I knew what happened to that damn ring."

\-------

_"Thank you for being here." Asmodeus grumbled softly as Lily held Magnus against her._

_"Of course. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." She walked across the soft carpet and brushed Aminah's hair back with a feather light touch. "Hey, sweetie. He's all changed for you."_

_"Thank you." Aminah spoke weakly, lifting up her hands. Lily lifted Magnus gently, settling him against his mom and placing her hands on top of him. He grumbled slightly at being passed over but he didn't cry. Asmodeus had always found it strange but he'd been checked over and over. The doctors had all said the same, looking at him with a shrug._

_Magnus just doesn't cry._

_Asmodeus walked into the room as Lily whispered. Minah was all tucked up snuggly and Asmodeus had put a soft song on in the background that he knew she loved._

_"What have you got there?"_

_Aminah smiled in her sleep as Lily spoke, zipping up her handbag that was on the floor. "Just sorting out a few things. Have you eaten?"_

_Asmodeus didn't reply, walking around to lay with his wife. "He's beautiful, isn't he, Minah?" He walked around and sat down next to her gently. Without opening her eyes, she curled in to him, wanting him to stroke her cheek. She nodded slightly but didn't say anything back._

_Lily stayed for what must have been another hour. Aminah had woken up for a few minutes at a time, usually to run her fingers through Magnus' dark hair or to tell As to carry on stroking her face as he was wrapped around her. Lily got up quietly, announcing that she needed to make a move. She wished she could stay there all night but knew that the little family needed to be together. Just the three of them._

_"Hey, sweetheart." Lily's voice cracked slightly as Aminah leaned into her palm. "As is going to look after you, okay? He’s going to stay with you until you're sleeping."_

_Aminah nodded, saying something that both her and Lily knew wasn't true. "Sure." Her voice was barely audible. "I'll see you in the morning."_

_Lily leaned down, pressing her lips to Aminah's forehead. They lingered for several seconds as they clung to one another and Lily blinked tears from her eyes. "I'll see you in the morning, sweetheart. Sleep now though, okay? It's time for you to rest." Her voice faltered. "I love you, Minah. Thank you for being my friend."_

_Both Asmodeus and Lily stayed there for a few seconds longer, watching as Aminah's breathing shifted and she fell into a long awaited deep sleep. Even though she was beyond hearing him, Asmodeus told her that he would be right back, double checking that Magnus was fast asleep before they slipped out for a moment._

_Lily hugged Asmodeus gently on the doorstep. She knew how badly he wanted to cry; to throw things and shout about the injustice of it all. However, no tears were on his face. She suspected that would come after she had gone._

_“It’s going to happen tonight, Lil. I know it is.” Asmodeus' voice wobbled as he hugged her. "I'm so scared. I don't want to live in a world without her in it."_

_“I know." Lily's own voice shook as she let him go. "Go and be with her, okay? And your son. Just hold her close and tell her how much you love her.”_

***

Simon and Clary stood by the school gates as crowds of other students moved around them in a hurry. Simon was taller than Clary and could see better over the mass of people.

“Can you see them yet? I don’t wanna be late on-”

“I can see them!” Simon grabbed Clary’s hand as Jace, Izzy and Max rushed towards them. Jace’s hands immediately collided with Clary’s face as they kissed and Max was left rolling his eyes as Simon and Izzy hugged to the whispers of a few onlookers.

“Hey, I got you something.” Simon reached into his backpack, pulling out the red scarf that Clary had found.

“Oh, it’s lovely.” Izzy beamed as Simon wrapped it around her neck. “You didn’t have to get me this.”

“I wanted to,” Simon pouted. “I got you this, too.” He lifted Izzy’s face up, pressing their lips together softly.

Jace raised his eyebrows as he hugged a giggling Clary, not sure how he felt about Simon kissing his sister. Then Izzy and Simon broke apart, as Simon whispered about a baby toy he had bought, and Jace had to remind himself to get over it. There were more important things to be thinking about. “Hey, guys. Are you ready to go?”

“I’m nervous.” Izzy laughed. “I feel like people are looking at us.”

“They probably are,” Jace smirked. “But only because of how awesome we are.”

“I find that quite agreeable.” Clary took his hand.

The five of them walked down the driveway together, excited but a little nervous about what the next year would involve.

“Hey, Si,” Clary whispered quietly as they watched Izzy and Jace walking their little brother. “Do you remember what I said to you back when we realised that we wanted to be just friends?”

“I do,” Simon gestured in front of him as he smiled. “You told me that if everything wasn’t okay, then it wasn’t the end. That we had good things in our future and we would be there for one another, no matter what-” He turned to her, throwing an arm around her neck. Jace and Izzy were laughing as they turned to see where Simon and Clary had gone. “-That the right people for both of us were out there somewhere. We just needed to be patient.”

The school bell was just ringing as they reached the yard, students all around them rushing to find their new classes. Simon walked ahead to go with Izzy, protectively holding on to her hand as they all went in as a team. Clary walked behind as she thought to herself, linking her fingers with Jace’s. Maybe Simon lightly running her over hadn’t been such a bad thing after all.

***

“Oh! I love this song!” Magnus turned up the radio, peering around Honey who was definitely too big now to be sitting on his lap.

“Magnus, you’re supposed to be giving me directions. You said we were almost there and we’ve been driving for ages.”

Magnus looked at the paper in his hand. “Apparently we’re on a ‘need to know’ basis.”

“Magnus?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m driving” Alec laughed. “I need to know where I’m going.”

“Okay,” Magnus pointed as he read off the satnav on his phone. “Take this turning up here.”

Alec turned the steering wheel, glancing in his mirror. “What’s the thing on the back seat?”

“Oh, I forgot. My father gave it to me. It’s some sort of folder. He said we can’t look at it until we’re at the address though.”

“This is so weird. What do you think it is?”

“Not a clue.” Magnus sat up straighter as Alec went up another lane. “Oh, this place is amazing.”

“It really is,” Alec agreed. They could see the ocean from where they were driving. “You think we’re being sent to the beach for the day?”

Magnus looked at the paper again. “Don’t think so-” His voice trailed off.

“What is it?”

“I got a letter this morning, Alexander. Apparently, Mama left me a bit of money for my eighteenth. I haven’t looked at it. I’m not ready yet. I just wanted to tell you.”

“That’s totally fine, Magnus. There’s no rush.”

“I know. It’s just a lot to process right now.” Magnus moved in his seat and Honey shifted as they pulled into a housing estate. “What on Earth?”

Alec pulled the car up and all three of them got out, Magnus holding Honey’s harness and his phone on the other to guide them. They walked down a lane, the ocean still visible in front of them. As they turned the corner, it appeared in front of them.

The most run down house that either of them had ever seen.

“Do you think this is it?” Alec looked at his feet as the porch creaked underneath them. “Does it belong to someone your dad knows?”

“Oh, wait!” Magnus dug in his jacket pocket, pulling out a key. He turned it in the lock as a confused Alec looked on. Magnus pushed the creaky door open and it squeaked as he gave Honey her release command and unclipped her harness.

Honey returned a moment later and sat down, apparently satisfied. Although Magnus seriously doubted her skills as a guard dog, she was comforting to have around.

“What is this place?” Alec followed Magnus in, afraid to shut the door in case it wouldn’t open again. “It looks like no one’s been here in years.”

“My father has.” Magnus walked towards what must have been a kitchen area. There was a battered table and he put his jacket over the edge, setting the binder down that his dad had given him. There was an envelope on the table.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

Magnus turned to Alec. “Why don’t you have a look around? See if you can find anything.”

Alec nodded and whistled for Honey to follow him across the room.

Magnus took a deep breath, turning the envelope around. He ran his thumb over the edge and slipped the pieces of paper out while reading the first two lines.

  
  


Magnus put his hand over his mouth as his eyes teared up.

[ ](https://postimg.cc/MfJFy8qc)

Magnus set the page down and picked up the next. He couldn't believe what he was holding in his hands.  
  
[](https://postimages.org/)

He flicked through the binder in front of him. Page after page after page of information. How to do taxes; recipes, guidance on going to job interviews, essay writing, how to jump start a car, self care, managing time, grocery shopping on a budget. His eyes skimmed the pages excitedly, trying to take everything in and yet keep himself surprised later. His Mama had thought of everything. There must have been hundreds of little notes, packed with helpful tips and advice to help him navigate through adult life. It was all sectioned beautifully, each page made up like a scrapbook.

Magnus put his palms against his eyes, fighting back tears as it hit him. His mama wasn’t gone. Far from it. Everything he would ever have to go through- he flicked through again to a segment on painting walls- everything that he would encounter or need to ask someone about; everything he needed yet to learn, was written right there in her very own handwriting.

[ ](https://postimg.cc/K10wCVrV)

Magnus set the papers down with shaking hands. It was a lot to take in. 

[ ](https://postimg.cc/mhyp1Jzn)

“Alexander, can you come here?”

Magnus shouted and Alec walked into the room. He’d been looking at another part of the house but the stairs didn’t look stable enough to go up. “Did you find out-” Alec rushed over, wiping the tears at Magnus’ face. “Hey, what is it? Don’t- don’t cry. Why are you crying?“ 

Magnus handed him the note and watched as Alec read over it. He did the same as Magnus, silently opening the binder on the table, this time while Magnus sniffled and laughed, pointing out a few things, such as the section about how to be a gentleman while on a date.

“What’s in there?” Alec glanced over as Magnus picked up the envelope. Magnus looked inside as his eyes widened, pulling out something that Alec couldn’t see. Alec watched as Magnus folded up the envelope quickly, putting it into his back pocket with a smile. ”What’s in it? What did you put in your pocket?”

“Nothing.” Magnus shook his head, holding the piece of paper that he’d pulled out. He put his hand over his mouth, fresh tears spilling down them as he held it out to Alec.

“Oh, Magnus.” Alec gasped. Magnus clutched the photograph tightly. “She’s beautiful.”

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

“I can’t believe that you’re going to have your own place.” Alec looked around the room as he walked. “You could- could have the fire here.” He pointed. “And shelves over here with books all lined up.” He rushed back excitedly, gesturing to where they stood. “And a big kitchen island here. I can see it. It’ll be amazing once you do it up.” Alec glanced up at the spot in the high ceiling where he could see sunlight peeking through.

Magnus continued to look at the photo in his hand and back at Alec. Honey was jumping around excitedly as Alec made a fuss of her.

“You know, Alexander, it’s not safe for me to be on my own, even once Honey is trained up.”

“Oh, I suppose not.” Alec walked back over. “Your mom wouldn’t have known that though.”

“She wouldn’t have. You know what that means?”

“What?” Alec leaned over, running his fingers through Honey’s ears.

“Alexander,” Magnus laughed, pulling Alec up by his arm. “Move in with me. We can do it up together!”

Alec beamed as his face lit up. “Are you serious? Me and you?! Mo- moving in. We’re- we’re going to live together? Here?”

He stood up straighter and Magnus put his arms around Alec’s neck. Alec curled his arms around Magnus, holding him tightly. “I mean, it wouldn’t be for a while. We’d have a lot of work to do, but why not? It’s a beautiful area-” Magnus stopped talking when he caught sight of Alec grinning at him. Magnus grinned back, unable to stop himself. “Alexander,” he whispered. “We could make it ours. This could be our home.”

***

A short while later, Alec was standing out the back and looking out at the ocean behind the house. Magnus had been right. It was a beautiful area. Some part of this didn’t feel real yet to him but they had plenty of time to take all of it in. He’d have to get a job, and help Magnus while he set up his cake business, but he knew they could do it. They’d already demonstrated, not only to themselves but to everyone around them, that neither of them were the type to lie down and give in.

They were fighters. Both of them.

The decking creaked under Alec’s feet as he walked, the sound of the waves a little further away. He sat down on the step, reflecting quietly. He was quickly interrupted as Honey bounced at him, asking him to make a fuss of her.

“Hey girl.” Alec kissed the top of her head. “Would you like it here? Hmm?” Honey sat herself down next to him. She turned her head, panting happily. “Well then. It’s settled. This is where the fun begins.”

***

Magnus took a few deep breaths as he stood in the kitchen area, allowing his imagination to run wild with thoughts about the empty space that could someday be their home. The empty fireplace, the dusty kitchen area where they would make dinner, kiss each other good morning, argue about stupid pointless things and then cry and make up again.

He strolled over to the table and placed his hand on his jacket that he’d thrown across the surface. In a split moment, he glanced across the room and out of the back door, watching as Alec leaned down and pointed out to Honey where everything would go some day. How their home could look after a lot of hard work.

Magnus reached into his back pocket and pulled out the envelope from his mother, placing it on the table as he continued to watch out the door.  

He picked up his jacket, bringing out his slip of paper with a smile. So many things had been ticked off it in the past few months that he was now running out of room. So many challenges that he'd overcome. Alec’s was just as packed. A beautiful reminder of the battles that they had won together.

He found a tiny space, in the section for long term goals, and scribbled something down; the same delicate handwriting that belonged to the woman who had made him.

Magnus grinned as he wrote down the easiest five words that he’d ever written.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

The note stayed in that jacket pocket for a long while after that. A precious secret between him and the woman who he lived for every day to make proud. As he opened up the envelope, he let out a quiet gasp. He pulled out Aminah’s ring to look at it, as the square stone glistened in the middle.

[ ](https://postimages.org/)

“We’re going to be okay now, Mama.” Magnus sniffled. “We’re going to look after one another, aren’t we? You know, these past few years have been so difficult. We’ve all been through so much but sometimes, I guess we have to be broken so we can be put back together again.”

Magnus folded up the envelope, gently putting it into his jacket pocket. Alec was jumping around excitedly outside, his laughter loud and clear as Honey insisted on being carried like a puppy.

“Magnus! Get out here!”

“I’ll be there in a second!”

Magnus looked around once more, feeling warm and safe. He finally knew who he was and what it was that he wanted out of life.

He’d finally found his purpose.

And so, when Alec shouted again, asking Magnus to dance with him in the garden, Magnus walked back out with his head held high, knowing that whatever the future had in store for them, as long as they had each other, everything was going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and coming on this journey with me. The last six months have been crazy and I can't believe that a tweet one night, asking if people would like a deeper meaning fic, resulted in the 270k words before you. I can't thank you all enough ❤️ This fic has changed the way I see so many things and I hope it will go on to do the same for others.  
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️


	36. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for epilogue:[ "Turning Page."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Cry85KUzzU&list=PLNBxsbSyz1G1PGGmv379TlyJjBVmKLBbK&index=38&t=0s)

One year later.

The school hall was absolutely packed as everyone sat at their tables. It had been a long year with a lot of hard work but the day had finally arrived.

Maryse was already tearing up as Alec handed her a tissue with a gentle touch. Despite that, she knew both him and Magnus had been working on their fitness lately and she had never seen either of them looking so strong.

“I’m so proud of you two.” Maryse wiped her nose as Alec and Magnus sat together with their hands linked between them, Magnus holding on to Alec’s arm as he made a fuss over Alec’s suit.

Robert chuckled as Magnus jumped up to hug Maryse. She squished his face and teased him about how tanned he looked on account for the recent trip him and Alec had been on.

“Hey, Alec,” Robert spoke quietly as Alec smiled, holding his glass. Robert lifted his own to Alec.  “For Mom and Dad, who love you so much.”

Alec grinned back, remembering their little game from so long ago. The day he’d been in one of his darkest places and Robert had reminded him of everything he was living for. Everything he wouldn’t have lived to see if he’d stopped fighting. Alec tapped his glass to Robert’s as Magnus walked over, talking excitedly as he carried Simon and Izzy’s son in his arms. Becky was at the next table over and got up from where she was sitting by her mother, walking over to make a fuss of her nephew.

Alec smiled back as cheers radiated through the room. Jace beamed from the stage as he was handed his certificate and his parent’s cheered with tears in their eyes. Alec looked back at the glass in his hand and then to Robert again. “For Izzy’s first baby and Jace’s graduation.”

Robert glanced over to the table next to them. Andrew and Eleanor’s eldest two children were also graduating and Max was clinging onto Tavvy as they excitedly jumped up and down. Max hadn’t stopped rambling about him for weeks and although they were only children, everyone had just told Max to be himself and were loving how excited the two of them were about each other. “For Max’s first crush.”

Alec turned as Magnus sat down next to him. Clary received her certificate as they clapped and Jocelyn and Luke cheered with Maryse, laughing as Clary climbed down from the stage and took Jace’s hand.

Magnus pouted at Alec, holding up the baby as he cooed over his chubby little wrists. The baby reached out his hands and squealed excitedly for Alec to pick him up. Alec held his hands out and Magnus pouted, refusing to share as he told Alec in a childlike voice that he wanted one. Since Izzy had had him, there’d hardly been a moment when the house wasn’t packed. While her and Simon looked to find an apartment, she’d moved into Alec’s room for more space. Now that they were staying between Magnus’ and their nearly finished house, Alec and Magnus just stayed in Izzy’s old room when they visited. It was a bit of a squeeze but not one that either of them minded. The past year had been crazy for all of them but it was a happy kind of madness that made them thankful for what they had.

Robert spoke quietly, watching as Alec bounced the baby up and down. Clary appeared from behind him and held out her hands expectantly. Alec reluctantly handed her the baby and Clary sat down next to Simon’s mother.

There’d been moments throughout Izzy’s pregnancy, and even when he'd arrived safely, that Simon had doubted if he’d be a good father. He had pleasantly surprised himself and everyone could see what a good father he was. Fiercely protective but gentle and sweet all the same. Him and Izzy had found their place together again, as had Jace and Clary, and had come out of everything stronger and closer than ever before.

Izzy and Simon were away from the rest for now, preparing to step up and give their speeches as valedictorian and salutatorian .

Alec put his arm over Magnus’ shoulder and kissed his temple, no longer the fragile shell of a man that he had been. Over the past few years, he had been broken and found himself, had fallen ill and recovered, finding his soulmate along the way. They’d been together for well over a year now and there was no doubt in anyone’s eyes that they wouldn’t ever be apart again. There was a stubbornness within them both; a burning fire that refused to give in during hardship. That was the beauty in being survivors. They saw the world for what it was; tragic sometimes, difficult and relentless, but it was also beautiful, filled with endless opportunities and adventures to be had.

That’s what they had to remember on the bad days. No matter their trials, their problems, their losses, one day, the next would be good again.

Robert watched quietly from where he sat. Alec had his head on Magnus’ shoulder and a smile on his face. He had his whole life in front of him now. 

Robert had never seen him happier.

He raised his glass silently, motioning to Alec. “For your wedding day. For yourself, waiting at the altar.”

Robert watched as Magnus turned to Alec, brushing his hair back with a gentle touch before bumping their heads together. Alec spoke to him softly, telling Magnus of how much he meant to him. How he’d made a wish once, a wish at a fountain, and his whole world had been turned upside down.

Robert raised his glass again and choked up slightly, this time gesturing to Magnus. “And Alec, for the lucky man who will meet you there.”

 

***

It was later that evening as everyone walked together over the beach. As another year passed, another anniversary came around; maybe this one a little more bittersweet than the others. Magnus and his father walked in silence, in front of the others, to the sound of waves lapping at the damp sand. The beach was lit up as they carried the lanterns between them.

“Are you ready?” Asmodeus turned to his son, holding his lantern out in front of him. The air was warm and calm as Magnus nodded and raised his own.

The sea sparkled as the stars shone above, the only other light than the ones that were being carried.

Magnus raised his hands and the lantern drifted up into the air. The others followed, Asmodeus’ following closely behind. Magnus hadn’t wanted the evening to be a sad one for his father. Yes, it marked another year since his mother’s passing but there was a difference this time. Instead of Asmodeus mourning quietly on his own, looking at photographs and staying in his bed, he stood on the beach with his son and a ring on his finger again, a whole family behind him to offer support.

Everyone looked up quietly as their own lanterns drifted into the sky.

Lily touched Asmodeus’ shoulder gently and he put an arm around her. She lifted a hand up to hold onto his, watching as the lights drifted further and further up into the sky. Her ring caught the reflection off the water and Magnus smiled. He missed his mother every day. Wished she’d been around to watch him grow up. However she’d told him something in a dream once. Something he thought about all the time. 

_ “It’s not the way of the world. We all have a time in the sunlight and a time in the shadows. It is beyond our power to alter it.” _

He just had to make the most of every moment. There was something that Magnus had realised through his journey. He’d discovered that life was a luxury; something to be cherished and enjoyed. He’d been so alone once, not knowing who he was or what direction he was going in. Life had been getting darker and darker and then he’d found his light again.

Alec laced his fingers with Magnus’ as they watched the last of the lanterns disappear. His free hand was taken up with a dog leash and he looked down at the black labrador puppy by his side. The puppy jumped at Honey, who was obediently sitting by Magnus feet, and Alec scooped him up with one hand. Honey was wearing the harness that they’d all worked so hard for her to get, reading ‘Seizure alert dog’ on the side. She was staring up at Magnus obediently, in case she needed to follow a command at a moments notice.

Alec patted Mylo’s head gently, smoothing his hand through his soft fur. He was young enough to not have started training yet; that would come when he was a little older. Alec had never imagined having a therapy dog himself but during Honey’s passing out ceremony, the offer had been made and they had agreed with open hearts. Magnus had often looked over from his work space in the kitchen to see Alec falling asleep on the sofa with Mylo on top of him. He calmed him, giving him something to focus on when everything got to be too much.

They wouldn’t be without him now.

Everyone walked back up the beach together, excitedly talking about their plans for the evening. Magnus knew his father would be spending it at the church but he had something else in mind for himself. Everyone got into their cars, most planning to head back to Robert and Maryse’s. Alec hugged his family and promised to call in the morning, a relieved look on his face when he remembered how free he truly was. He was living the life he’d always dreamed of now; could travel the world at his boyfriend’s side and know that there was nothing chasing behind him.

They went back to the house together, each with a leash in their hands. It still needed a lot of work. The roof leaked sometimes and there’d been a good period of time without any running water. They laughed together as Alec unclipped Honey and Magnus chucked his key onto the table, trying in vain to get the lights to work. The electrician had said he was coming earlier that day but something must have come up.

As the keys hit the table, Fish and Chip swam around each other excitedly, making small splashing sounds. Alec had joked when he’d first made the suggestion. He’d been moving stuff from his room and Magnus had called him mad. Alec had said that the two fish were like him and Magnus in a way. They’d both been on a bit of a journey and had just needed everything to line up so they could find one another.

Magnus had hit him with a pillow.

They lit all the candles they could find, casting the room in a comforting glow. The house wasn’t perfect by any means but it was still home. It would be a while before it was finished but every touch that had been made was recognisable for what it was.

The mark of two young lovers starting their lives together.

Alec set their takeaway bag down on the table and they both had the same thought. Ten minutes later, a hastily made fort was constructed and they sat on the floor, the two dogs playing next to them as they ate out of food containers.

_ I worry about them sometimes. They’ve both been through so much. Sometimes it troubles me that I couldn’t be there myself to hug him on the difficult days; to offer motherly suggestions to his issues and tell him that everything is going to be okay. He’s got so many people around him though; and a love he would never be without. I can’t stay all the time but I check in on him now and then. His father too. It means the world to be to see him happy again. Him and Lily got married in a quiet ceremony. A few loved ones around them and a small party after. I know that he still worries. Worries what I might think. I wish I could tell him what it means to me; to see my two best friends together and in love. Sometimes they have bad nights, like anyone else, but now they have someone to hold close. Someone to remind them that no matter how stressful life gets, it can be good again. _

_ There’s an old saying. Something Asmodeus used to tell me. I was carrying Magnus at the time and I used to worry about what the future would be like. How they would cope. I tell it to myself often. On those days where I wish I could show myself to them instead of lurking in the shadows. _

_ “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” _

_ Magnus and Alec laugh together as they lay on their backs and talk about the future; Everything that they have and everything that will be. I take one final glance as I watch them quietly. They have so many things in front of them now.  _ _ Maybe they don’t know what the future will involve. It hasn’t exactly been easy so far. But that’s the beauty in it, isn’t it? Life is messy and unpredictable and crazy, but none of that is what’s important. What’s important is that we stay true to who we are, love madly and often while never forgetting about where we’ve come from or the steps that we’ve taken to get where we are. _

_ I whisper it to him once more before I go. I know I’ll be back soon and I’ll tell him again. I’m not supposed to but I was never one to listen to what I was told. _

_ I kiss my hand and hold it out to them. They're facing each each other now, whispering softly as their eyes flutter.  _

_ And then I go back into the light.  _

"Did you hear something?" Magnus picked his head up, touching Honey's as she stood to attention.

"No." Alec spoke sleepily, running his fingers through Magnus' hair. 

"I'll be right back." Magnus pushed back his blanket and disappeared for a moment, Honey following behind. When he came back, Alec was lying flat with a sleeping Mylo over his middle. "What was it?" Magnus grinned as he sat down, holding up a single white feather. Alec took it gently and turned the base of it as Magnus curled up against him with his arm over Alec’s chest. "Where did that come from?"

Magnus took the feather from Alec, brushing it gently. The feather was small and baby soft, so bright that it practically glowed in the darkness. "Mama."

***

Hollywood movies often tell miraculous stories of survival. Long and wonderful journeys where everyone learns beautiful lessons about love and what it means to truly be alive. What they don’t know about is the small, everyday victories. Being able to walk, run, swim, again after going through traumatic brain surgery. The euphoric feeling of holding your sister’s baby for the first time and promising him that you’ll see him grow up.

There’s nothing glorious about illness, and I don’t need to tell you that. However, there is something glorious about being a survivor.

While we carry our daily challenges and mourn those left behind, we need to appreciate life for what it is, know the impact we have simply by existing and know that no matter how fast or for however long we need to run, one day, the ground will settle and the forest will fill with life again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, everyone <3 I can't believe this is it. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented and shared. Your support has been absolutely amazing <3  
> I have to start out by dedicating this to three very special individuals. Like the characters of this story, my journey hasn't been the easiest. There are three young people who I think of often and am living my best life for.  
> Amelia, Jaydan, Simon, I wish you had more years than you got given. I know nothing will replace the time you should have had but I'm hoping that by sharing my journey, I can do you all a little bit of justice xx  
> Fitting with this fic, as I went on my journey, I actually discovered my own family. You know who you are but I absolutely could not have done this without you guys. Thank you for your support, betaing and demands of self care at 2AM. You all mean the world to me <3  
> If you've enjoyed, please let me know with the #FlutterFic hashtag or drop a comment. Let's see where the future takes us. Be kind to one another and remember to live every day to the best of your ability- A


	37. Note:

Hi Everyone! It's been a few months since FF finished and I'm hoping you're all well. Just wanted to leave a notice to anyone subscribed, telling you that the sequel: The Fibonacci Sequence has just been started. If you'd like to have a look, it's been added, with The Butterfly Effect, to a new series.

Thanks ❤️ 


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